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LSE Garrick slammed by survey
¦	46% THINK GARRICK IS UNREASONABLY PRICED
¦	51% SATISFIED WITH LSE CATERING
Chris Lam & Tanya Rajapakse
A survey conducted by The Beaver has revealed widespread dissatisfaction with the LSE Garrick in terms of the quality of food offered and in comparison to off-campus food outlets.
Questions were put to 90 randomly selected students in the Quad, Brunch Bowl, Library, the C120 Computer Room, and Houghton Street about satisfaction with six of the major food outlets at the School. The participants were asked to rate price, quality and choice for each venue and also to rate their preferred food outlet for lunch.
The six outlets were the Brunch Bowl, The Garrick, Cafe Pepe, the Plaza Cafe, the Students' Union (SU)-man-aged Quad and the SU Hins kitchen. The independently run Wright's Bar was also included in the final question which asked participants to "rate the following in order of where you would prefer to eat lunch."
46 percent of respondents said they thought the price of food at The Garrick was unreasonable in terms of quality as well as being unreasonable compared to off-campus food outlets. More than half of the respondents answered 'no' to the former category alone -whether the price of food was reasonable in terms of the quality offered.
Head of LSE Catering services Liz Thomas said, "The Garrick is phenome-
nally successful catering for over 1,200 mainly student customers daily - hardly a sign it's not pitched at an appropriate level. While it is relatively more expensive than say the Brunch Bowl it offers a different type of service and food e.g. steak, salmon, cranks sandwiches, handmade speciality teas etc. as well as cheaper options."
"Before its inception, we were sometimes criticised that we didn't cater for those who had higher spending power and were driven off campus to eat.
"We listened to that feedback and applied it to the new Garrick, which replaced the Robinson Room, and we've increased customers by over 200 percent - a good outcome by any standard. It is also about providing choice - there would be no point in providing another Brunch Bowl or SU Cafe."
The survey did not directly ask about 'spending power' or income, however it did ask the participants to categorise themselves as post-graduate or under-graduate and home or international students. Of those who had rated The Garrick as their preferred place to eat lunch, the majority were international students - two of whom were also post graduates.
46 percent of all respondents said that the Brunch Bowl was not reasonably priced in terms of the quality. However only 29 percent thought that it was unreasonable compared to off-campus outlets which is 21 percent less than those who thought it was unreasonable at The
Garrick in the same category.
Asked if they were satisfied with LSE Catering services in general, 51 percent of all respondents said 'no' compared to 30 percent who were not satisfied with SU catering. However, the survey did not include individual questions about The Beaver's Retreat, the George IV pub or the SU shop.
Responding to an apparent lack of feedback or surveys on food service at the School Thomas said, "We assess our services both formally and informally and consider student feedback as essential. Our best source for information is direct contact, it's no accident that all our kitchens are open so that our chefs can communicate directly with customers, our managers are 'on the shop floor' and our staff are encouraged to seek comments.
"We have direct contact with SU Officers on specific issues and also meet with student societies to develop international dishes/theme days..."
In response to a question on pricing strategy Thomas answered, "Catering Services are required under HENCE rules to be self financing and therefore must recover all direct costs from income. There is subsidy for space charges. Costs for some aspects of services e.g. late evening opening, vacations etc may be supported by better trading periods but the services are overall cost effective and break even."
The School also runs the Catering Services User Group. This meets at least twice in one academic year, in November and May. Thomas continued, "it's an open forum, and has representation from all sectors
Sabbs call an 'end' to barrel episode
Patrick Cullen
Senior Reporter_
The LSE Students' Union (SU) Sabbatical officers have claimed that closure has finally been brought about in the ongoing saga following the Barrel Run to King's College, London (KCL).
LSE SU IVeasurer, Natalie Black, commented on the success of the global e-mail that was sent out calling on all students who took part in the splinter group to turn themselves in. "In the end, over 203 signed up," Black noted.
She said that the cases were reviewed and all bar one outstanding individual who was not named have agreed to pay the £80 fine. Community service, which Black defined as "a variety of different projects - sports [and] community based," is also being laid on for those who took part in the separatist run.
Black stated that the Sabbatical officers "would like to express gratitude for those
who paid promptly." She went on to say that CCTV footage of the rampage through KCL's English Department was used to identify individuals and that "a dozen individuals had been identified by the School for more serious issues" and that these people will be "pursued by the school"and will be subjected to the School's own disciplinary procedures for students.
On the subject of the future of the Barrel, Black told The Beaver that it "is under review ... tough decisions will have to be made by the new AU and Sabbaticals." A possible change in the law regarding pubs and anti-social behaviour, which would require pubs to be responsible for "the conduct of any drunkards within 300 yards," was also mentioned by Black; although the Sabbaticals are unsure of the effect this would have had on the Barrel Run break-away movement.
The Sabbatical officers are confident that they have fined
and dealt with as many people involved "as possible" according to Black.
One participant of the Barrel splinter group, who wishes to remain anonymous, told The Beaver that "it was an action I sincerely regret in its utter idiocy ... it represented the whole idiotic mentality of at least 70 percent of the AU population ... I have paid the £80 fine and have signed up for the volimtary service."
This year's AU barrel run in December spilt over to KCL, where a drunken mob caused massive damage and disruption to the English department. Two executive officers, Chris Heathcote and Simon Chignell were also later implicated in the disruption at King's and both have since publically apologised and paid their fines.
King's College were unavailible for comment on the issue.
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The age old gender equality divide
Tlie Beaver examines whether women are still judged on their appearance
Page 13
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Annual Global Week deemed 'a success'
Arthur Krebbers
Last week's Global Week provided a spectacular showcase of the international diversity at the LSE. A whole host of special events, including film showings, parties as well as belly dance classes, turned the annual celebratory week into an amazing success.
Chris Heathcote, LSE Students' Union (SU) Communications Officer and Chair of the Global Week Organising Committee told The Beaver, "I think the response has been excellent and many more people have noticed Global Week."
"Jimmy Tam and I were extremely impressed with the standard of entries for the Photography Exhibition, given we are not an artistic University and we now plan to auction off the entries for RAG week."
"The Global Show was magnificent and hats off to the International Society for arranging a sponsorship deal that meant students only had-to pay £1 for the pleasure.
"With the Global Village, I was surprised by the lack of interest from many societies, but those that did take part were excellent in using music, games, flags and snacks to get people interested. In the end
we had societies representing every comer of the Globe."
Jimmy Tam, societies officer, assisted in the set up of an exclusive Global Week photo exhibition showcasing photos taken by LSE students. "This is truly evidential of the LSE international craze" he tells the Beaver. "It shows that students can present their diversi-
"This is truly evidential of the lse international craze. It shows that students can present their diversity, and represent themselves through art - not just through academics."
Jimmy Tam LSE SU Societies Officer
ty, and represent themselves through art - not just through academics."
The highlight of the week was the Global Show, which took place Thursday and
Lighlights	Photograph: tavcd Iqba! Khafsak
Many societies got ina'olved in Global Week including, the Bulgarian, Scandinavian, Filipino, Afghan, Lebanese, Mauritian, Slovenian, Green, Anthropology, Arabic, SPICE, Australian and New Zealand, Hayek, Chinese and People and Planet Societies.
Friday evening in the Old Theatre. The show brought together performances from five different continents and contained a mix of dancing, fashion and comedy from across the world; from Chinese marital arts and Irish river dancing to American swing dancing and samba.
Pimpernel Sieders, president of the International society and chief organiser of the event, was extremely pleased with the show. "The evening was a really fun night out... It is difficult to get people excited about internationalism, as it is way easier for them to celebrate their own country. But I felt tonight we managed to celebrate things that are unique to everyone."
Rachel Deechacon, co-presenter of the show, also expressed content. Deechacon, a general course student said: "I am interested in various cultures, I have for instance joined the Filipino society. The diversity that I have witnessed at these nights is staggering."
LSE director Sir Howard Davies, sang a specially edited version of A song of patriotic prejudice' by Flanders and Swann, whilst sporting a pink suit, baseball cap and cricket bat. The week ended on Saturday with the inaugral Chinese 'V show' in the Old theatre run by the Chinese Society.
The Beaver food survey; Resolving the
fine at
A spectacular showcase of the diversity at LSE
Photograph: Dimitris Kallergis^
Smoking ban to blanket the School
Laura Deck and Elaine
Londesborough
The National Union of Students (NUS) has applauded the move to ban smoking in all enclosed public places, recognising the fact that many students work in smoky bars to pay their way through university.
The House of Commons voted to ban smoking in all enclosed spaces on Ibesday 14 February by a margin of 200 votes. Subject to successful passage through the Houses of Parliamenr, smoking will be banned in all restaurants, bars, pubs and clubs throughout the United Kingdom from the summer of 2007.
Many people expected a partial ban on smoking which would have been limited to private bars and pubs that serve food, but there was widespread disagreement on the issue. MPs were choosing between three options, one which would have banned smoking in enclosed areas except private members clubs and places that served food, one which banned smoking everywhere except for private members clubs, and one which was a total ban on smoking in all closed air locations.
As many Students' Unions are officially private members clubs, it was feared that the ban would not protect workers in them. However, a last minute shift to a total ban by the Health Minister, Patricia
Hewitt, and most of her Health team, lead to the massive majority in favour of comprehensive legislation.
NUS Vice President Welfare Veronica King said, "NUS is delighted that MPs have opted for blanket ban on smoking, showing a real commitment to public health.
"With ever-increasing levels of student debt and hardship, set to rocket even further with the introduction of increased fees, more students than ever before are being forced to undertake part-time work."
Professor Alex Markham, Chief Executive of Cancer Research UK said that the bill would improve workers' rights.
saying the "vote will protect thousands of workers and save many lives."
The Director of Action on Smoking and Health Deborah Arnott announced that "this vote will save thousands of lives, as non-smokers will be protected from other people's smoke and as smokers quit in their hundreds of thousands. MPs will rarely get the chance to cast a vote that does so much good, at such little cost, in such a short time."
The British Beer and Pub Association opposed the prospect of a partial ban saying it would foster "unequal competition, leading to job losses and closures." After Tuesday's vote. Director of
Communications	Mark
Hastings applauded the decision: "We are pleased that MPs have ensured a level playing field for all....Now the hard work begins, preparinJ our customers and pubs fo^ this cultural shift."	%
Natalie Black, Treasurer of ^ the LSE Students' Union (SU) J will be reviewing the implica-S tions of the law on the Tunsa She told The Beaver, "The TVms strategy will have to be, reviewed, obviously it's the only place on campus you can smoke.
"It's not going to have an imminent impact, the situation will need to be reviewed by September 2007, probably by the next sabbaticals".
Students smoking in The Three Tuns
Photograph: Marta Skundric
IBeaver|2i February 2006103
New C&S elected; paper-throwing debate continues
Tanya Rajapakse
News Editor _
Anew Constitution and Steering Committee (C&S) was elected at last week's Union General Meeting (UGM) following the no-confidence vote in the previous C&S committee. The new members are Adrian Beciri, Alexa Sharpies, Jefferson Courtney, Simon Douglas, Carys Morgan, Ziyaad Lunat and Daisy O'Brien.
In a by-election that saw 19 candidates contest for the seven available places, the need to bring accountability and transparency to C&S was a main theme with many claiming that the 'closed doors' image portrayed by C&S had to be disposed of. Presenting a different view, former C&S members Douglas, Arthur Krebbers and Nazir Hussain, who were re-contesting their posts, stressed the need to have experienced members on the committee during the crucial Lent elections that lie ahead.
Female representation on C&S was also a deciding factor with the four female candidates using every opportunity to emphasise the need for having more women on the committee. This was reflected in the results with three out of the four - Sharpies, Morgan and O'Brien - being elected, thus forming almost 50 percent of the committee.
^ Male candidates contributed their views on the campaign to increase female representation with Daniel Sheldon arriving at the UGM
Photographs:
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Simon Douglas (left) andDaniel Sheldon present their cases
dressed in a pink t-shirt and white skirt. Later on, during the vote count which was held in the Underground Bar, Richard Holden told The Beaver, "I'm thinking of becoming a woman so I can use that to get people to vote for me."
In statements to The Beaver, O'Brien and Morgan -both first year students - said they were "looking forward" to their time on C&S. Morgan called it "vital that things come together quickly and efficiently" in time for the Lent elections. Meanwhile Sharpies stated that C&S should become more "accessible to the wider student population" by "better publicising meetings and decisions/discussions."
Adrian Beciri, whose cam-
paign promise was to not ban paper-throwing as there was a "cohesion" to it, told The Beaver his plans for C&S were to "erode this 'behind closed door business' image" that the committee had acquired. On a different note Lunat mentioned to The Beaver that "more should be done to get postgrads involved in the Union."
However Douglas presented a cautious view saying "I hope that every candidate who got elected realises the serious job they have to do. However, I suspect that some of them don't, and probably haven't even read the Codes of Practice. This is extremely disappointing from a democratic point of view - that the UGM could care so little as to
The Brunch Bowl is the preferred LSE food outlet for students
Continued from page i
of the LSE community.
"We are about to conduct a formal survey for changes we hope to make to the Brunch Bowl in the next 12 months. We also monitor our services and prices against local competition and participate in prices surveys with other London institutions."
Students were also asked to rate their preferred places to each lunch. Of the LSE food outlets surveyed, the Brunch Bowl came top, with 24 percent saying that it was their preferred place to eat. In contrast 10 percent of students rated the Quad as their number one choice. However it was Wright's Bar, which is neither run by LSE nor the SU, that came on top with 42 percent surveyed saying that it was their most preferred place to eat lunch. About 22 percent of students had never been to or heard of Cafe Pepe or the Plaza Cafe.
One LSE student, Joe Chen said, "All around the School, food is over-priced. In terms of quality and value for money it is pretty bad." With regards to student feedback Chen said, "I don't think even if we were to get a petition of one hundred people that it would change much."
Last year LSE SU General Secretary, Rishi Madlani, said that improving provision of Halal and Kosher food around the School and in halls was one of his election pledges. Of those who responded to the question about 'special arrangements' for food, one third said that they were not satisfied with the provision in the Quad and 20 percent in the Brunch Bowl.
Regarding special requirement foods at the Brunch Bowl, Thomas said, "We consulted recently with both the Islamic and Jewish Societies regarding demand for Halal and Kosher foods and as a result in November introduced Halal meals from specialist
Photograph: Maria Skuiubic
suppliers approved by the Islamic Society. However uptake was very poor (just 3-5 meal a day), one supplier went out of business, the other ceased to supply as we could not meet minimum delivery requirements. As a result we suffered significant financial loss and were forced to discontinue the service in January."
Regarding the provision of special requirement food SU General Secretary Rishi Madlani said, "there is a huge improvement from the complete lack of provision in previous years, and we'll continue to work with the groups to make sure that this provision improves, as we have been doing already."
Regarding the results in general Madlani said, "Obviously I'm very pleased with the high satisfaction rate with union catering services. We hope that the school notes feedback from students and we'll definitely be raising concerns at the Catering Services User Group."
elect people like this - but I'm confident that the majority of the committee will be sensible and will be enthusiastic enough to make themselves available during election week (in particular)."
Representing the Students' Union's views LSE Students' Union (SU) General Secretary Rishi Madlani said "I look forward to working with the new C&S. I hope they act in a manner that is representative of the students they were elected by." Randomised ballot papers were used for the first time during this election, where the names of candidates are presented in no particular order. LSE SU Returning Officer, Doug Oliver, commented to The Beaver that he thought the "hustings went well" and
called the number of candidates "unprecedented."
The new committee will hold their positions from the end of week six lintil the end of the Lent term. A new committee for next year will be elected at the upcoming Lent elections in week eight.
Meanwhile Jean Jameson, the Advisor to Students with Disabilities is being consulted about the decision to ban paper-throwing with the Union.
Furthermore a complaint is to be filed with the LSE Freedom of Speech Board and former C&S members are expected to take the issue to the School if the Union fails to comply with the law.
UGM: Reinstate Matthew Boulton Two
Saabira Chaudhuri
Senior Reporter
The struggle to secure the reinstatement of suspended	Matthew Boulton College students, Assed Baig and Darrell Williams, has garnered the support of students across Britain and continues to do so at LSE.
A motion resolving to write to the college principal Christine Braddock urging that the suspension be lifted immediately, to send a letter of support to the students, and to raise awareness about the issue through a link on the LSE Students' Union (SU) website was passed by an overwhelming majority at Thursday's Union General Meeting (UGM).
Proposed by LSE SU Environment and Ethics Officer Joel Kenrick, and seconded by LSE SU Communications Officer Chris Heathcote, the motion was raised in response to the 'indefinite' suspension of the Matthew Boulton students on gth December. Enthused Kenrick, "I am delighted the motion passed with almost universal support this week and I hope these two students are reinstated as soon as possible."
Baig and Williams were suspended for distributing a newsletter containing their views on international and national issues, student apathy and several criticisms of college policy.
The two students were found giving out leaflets by the college's security guards on 6^^ December. After being questioned and having their identity cards removed, the pair was asked to leave the college premises and banned from returning. Baig and Williams are currently unable to apply to universities through UCAS and have even been prevented from taking their exams.
Their two-page leaflet, entitled 'Guerilla' and published under the pseudonym 'Serapion brothers', contained Baig and Williams' protests regarding the lack of formal student representation at Matthew Boulton and the college's decision to ban the formation of political groups and religious societies on campus,
Chris Heathcote told The Beaver that he is "pretty appalled by what has happened at Matthew Boulton College, where students were prevented from sitting their exams and applying to university for doing something that we take for granted here at LSE, namely the right to criticise college authority."
LSE SU General Secretary, Rishi Madlani, told The Beaver, "The Union sends its support to the students. We believe that all students should have a right to express their views on political questions and on college policies. We v^rill continue to support the NUS campaign, led by Pav Akhtar, in fighting to overturn the college decision and to reinstate the students."
Union Jack
With a spring in his step from spending the week in bed with Mrs. Jack, and nursing a sprained wrist from too much... paper throwing. Jack arrived at this week's UGM eager with anticipation to examine the new blood wanting to join in all the union fun.
The stage was set, and swarming with C&S wannabes - Jack doesn't remember seeing so many people on stage since the free love sit-in he attended in the 60s. Sadly no-one got naked this week, although the boy in the skirt did cause a little stir in Jack's trousers. Dug [myself a little] Holeoverthere proved himself more than capable in command, and we whistled through introductions to the 6298 people on stage.
When Jack awoke, we were on to questions. Muff Sinclair tried to bamboozle us all with a cryptic one about the Cons and Greens, although it took so long for everyone to answer that by the end Jack had forgotten what the question was. But then again so, it seemed, had the contestants, the chair, Muffy himself, and everyone else in the Old Theatre.
The election over. Angel Van assumed the position and normal business was resumed. Sabb and officer reports passed without question, making Jack wonder whether Happy Tam had gained access to the ventilation system and was filtering in tranquilisers in an attempt to glide through the next few weeks of electioneering unchallenged.
Jack was fully awake, however, to hear Beaverman S.Jones.com apologise to the UGM for not censoring the paper stupid last week, and express his utmost love and respect for fatties. Jack has heard rumours Jones is in fact himself a feeder (organic only of course).
With the UGM shooting through uncontested motions like Dick Cheney on heat, we were finally able to stop Miss Heathcock in his bid to implement a Nazi regime within the LSESU.
Whilst the usual suspects muddled themselves over crosses, numbers, preference orders, Jack started to daydream about his days as an unscrupulous politician, a golden time when we all believed that you could only get into power if people voted for you. But Jack is happy for Cantspell and Badmani to teach him the modem ways.
Back at headquarters, Schlong Mattoo didn't turn up for his motion, which, unlike Jack's friends count on face-book, fell spectacularly. Don't worry though kids, there will be a mass-debating chamber in the new building, Fishi says so.
So there goes another UGM. This term is flying by for Jack, and what with the hacks gearing up for the annual ego-boosting/bashing extravaganza known as the SU elections. Jack looks forward to the next few weeks with baited breath.
But for now, he's off to ask IT services for the numbers of the three girls elected to C&S -who said there weren't equal opportunities at the LSE..?
04|Beaver| 21 February 2006
NEWS
Arbour: human rights for a new age
Marc Andrew
United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights Louise Arbour addressed an LSE audience on the topic of "Human Rights in an Age of Uncertainty" in the Old Theatre on Thursday.
In a speech that touched on the variety of challenges that face her field, Arbour urged for
the reformulation of the idea that human rights and security are engaged in an absolute trade-off. "Human rights do not impede the protection of national security" she argued, "the most profound insecurity does not rest from foreign threats, but from internal fear."
Arbour possesses a distinctive career as an international jurist. As a Canadian national she has held positions on the
Supreme Court of Ontario and the Supreme Court of Canada. In the late 1990s Arbour joined the United Nations as Chief Prosecutor for the International	Criminal
Tribunals for the former Yugoslavia, where she led the indictment against former Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic. She was appointed to her current position as High Commissioner in July of 2004.
Arbour argued that com-

Louise Arbour: Human rights do not impede national security Photograph: Saabira Cliaufihtiri
mitments to security can be self-defeating. She pointed out that in limiting human rights as a part of their quest to increase security, governments may foster an anger that promotes further terrorism. She said that the most profound strength of Western society is the human rights they are founded upon, Arbour argued, and these must not be compromised.
However, Arbour stressed that a renewed response to the broader threats of poverty, hunger, dramatic levels of inequality, inequities in the provision of education and disease each pose a profound challenge to human rights. "We must possess a more holistic understanding of the right to life" she said, "and the indivisibility of that right from all others."
Arbour said that an appropriate response should not be based on "charitable disposition or embarrassment." She argued that development is instead the legal duty of the international community and an important first step is ceasing to categorise human rights along social, civil, and economic lines. Arbour called instead for the recognition of a view of rights that recognizes the "inextricable link between social and economic development and human rights."
Arbour was impressed by the range of questions directed at her in the question and answer period: "Each of these is an excellent masters or doctoral topic" she said, "I hope they will be published so that I can read them."
Oxford attempts to attract more Indian students
Saabira Chaudhuri
Senior Reporter
In a bid to attract more
Indian students, Oxford
University's chancellor Lord Patten is to make a trip to the former colony next month. As reported by The Independent newspaper, Britain's most prestigious educational institution fears that unless it recruits the "world's best students" its position will be usurped by the better-funded Ivy League institutions in the United States.
Described by The Guardian newspaper as "eager, smart" and having the "ability to pay", Indian students have been called "the world's most wanted" and are being actively sought out by British educational institutions. Lord Patten will visit Bangalore, Mumbai and New Delhi next month, calling on Oxford alumni and discussing how more money can be raised for bursaries for Indian students.
"We have to fight very hard to keep our position in the world league table to stay up there with Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford and MIT," Patten said. The chancellor is convinced that many bright students are put off by Oxford's "stuffy image", and prefer instead to study in the US. About 17,000 Indian students have chosen British universities compared to nearly 80,000 in the US.
Apart from the high standard of academic performance, sources speculate that Oxford may also be eager to attract more Indians because foreign students pay higher fees than
candidates from the UK. At Oxford, overseas students pay between £8,500 and £11,300 a year compared with £3,000 paid by students from the UK and Europe. An Oxford university spokesman admitted however that it is difficult to compete with the wealthier American universities, which offer generous financial aid to international students.
Over 2,500 Indian students have graduated from LSE in the past 100 years and the school currently has about 212 students from India - 49 undergraduates and 163 graduates. The school has had numerous Indian students since its inception, and an Indian was in fact the first non-European President of the Students' Union back in 1912.
The School said, "The Student Recruitment Office makes regular visits to India and has been doing so for a number of years. In fact, it was ahead of many of our UK competitors in seeking to expand recruitment opportunities from India which is why we now see many of our competitors trying to 'catch up'. In 2005-06, staff visited India twice (for a total of four weeks), visiting universities, making presentations at schools, counselling individual prospective students and making presentations."
Famous Indians who have passed through LSE include Dr Bhim Rao Ambedkar, a founding father of the Indian constitution and a leader of the Dalit community in India. Honorary fellows include Nobel Professor Amartya Sen and current Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh.
Huhne: climate change "pre-emi-nent issue of our time"
Muin Boase
Last Thursday the Students' Union (SU) Liberal Democrat Society welcomed Chris Huhne, one of the contenders in the Lib Dem leadership race, for a question & answer session at the LSE.
Huhne - who, in a recent poll, was put ahead of Sir Menzies Campbell as favourite to win the leadership contest, began with a five minute speech in which he focused on the economy, environment and education. Huhne said that the "battle on climate change is the pre-eminent issue of our time." He questioned the sincerity of David Cameron's commitment to green issues, citing the fact that he had voted against environmental levies.
Huhne highlighted his party's commitment to students and attacked top-up fees which would price people out of further education. He also said that faith schools could play a constructive role, provided that they were open and met national curriculum standards.
Asked by one student to clarify his economic policies, Huhne responded by saying that it was "outrageous that the lowest ten percent of the income distribution pay more tax than the highest ten percent." He also attacked the "ludicrous centralisation" of taxation in Britain. He stressed the economic experi-
ence of party members such as David Laws and Vince Cable who formerly worked at Barclays and Shell respectively. In contrast he said George Osborne, the Shadow Chancellor, had "never held a proper job in his life."
Only a limited amount of
time was available for questioning. Nevertheless, as Huhne was dutifully hustled away for an interview with BBC Newsnight, the Lib Dem faithful appeared impressed and confident that he would make a good leader.
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IBeaver|2i February 2006 los
Dr Ma: Unified China and Taiwan? RAG Week begins
Fatima Manji
The eager audience queues on Houghton Street to enter the Old Theatre
Adrian Li
The leader of Taiwan's main	opposition
Kuomintang (KMT), addressed audiences at the LSE on Monday, saying that China must become a political democracy before Taiwan considers unification. Dr MaYing-jeou said, "We do not rule out the option of eventual reunification between Taiwan and mainland China if the overall conditions across the Taiwan Strait are ripe."
The audience Dr Ma was speaking to consisted of a mostly Chinese and Taiwanese audience at the London School of Economics. There were hundreds more waiting outside the Old Building to catch a glimpse of the KMT chairman when he arrived at Houghton Street.
In the speech, Dr Ma said there was no timetable for unification, and that Taiwan would prefer to maintain the "status quo" until the timing and conditions were favourable.
"The conditions are ripe when mainland China develops to a stage where its political democracy, economic prosperity and social well-being are congruent with those of Taiwan," he said.
When asked if democracy in China was viable, Ma said he believed it would eventually embrace an elected government. When the member of the audience pressed home the point that resignations from the Chinese Communist Party point to its eventual "disintegration", she was greeted by a chorus of shushing from the audience.
"They have to find their own way to democracy. No one can tell them to do it," Dr Ma said in response. "Things will take care of themselves if the current economic development continues."
Ma also said the KMT would seek to resume talks with China, stalled since 1999, if it won back the presidency.
"The intermediate goal, though, is for both sides to negotiate and put into effect a viable peace agreement that can serve as a framework
Amy Williams
University applications have fallen for the first time in six years amid fears that the new top-up fees are discouraging students from applying. The figures for the number of applications to universities for 2006/7 released by the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS) show that 13,000 fewer applications have been processed this year.
Top-up fees will be introduced in England from September 2006. Universities can charge up to £3000 a year, as opposed to the current top rate of £1,200. Unlike the current system, students can pay for the fees after they have graduated.
The break down of the figures shows that English students have seen the biggest fall in numbers, with applications from English students to English universities having fallen by 4.5 percent and applications to universities in England in general having fallen by 3.7 percent. Conversely, universities in
Scotland and Wales -. where the top-up fees do not apply -have risen by 1.6 and 0.5 percent respectively.
Kat Fletcher, the president of the National Union of Students (NUS), called for an assessment of the effects of top-up fees. "The drop in applications suggests that top-up fees and the debt they represent is deterring potential students," she said.
However, commentators have suggested that this year's fall in applications is due to the increased numbers of students who applied last year, and not due to a long term decline in university applications. Bill Rammell, Higher Education Minister, told The Independent newspaper, "I have always said that we would see a small fall in applications this year on the back of the much larger than usual increase last year," he said. "But applications this year are still almost 12,500 above the corresponding figure in 2004."
The LSE will be charging the full £3000 per-year for all courses. The current rate of £3000 is set until 2010.
guiding cross-strait interactions in decades ahead," he said.
"Since Taiwan has become a full-fledged democracy, reunification with mainland China cannot proceed without the consent of Taiwanese people," Ma said.
Dr Ma also warned against heeding the calls for secession. He claims that Taiwan's international isolation since 1971, when it, as the Republic of China, lost its seat in the UN, has been exploited by politicians who call for "a radical break from all things Chinese for regaining Taiwan's membership, and more pertinently, dignity, in the international community."
He outlined his belief that "the need for recognition does not sanction the pursuit of secession" since "secession may not bring about recognition, since very few countries would risk antagonizing the PRC on this ultra-sensitive issue by recognizing an independent Taiwan."
In his speech, Dr Ma also praised the contributions of the Fabians, who founded the
Photograph: Chris Colvin
LSE and also highlighted the contributions of an LSE alumnus in Mr Yu Kwo-hua, the KMT premier who presided over the industrialization of the Taiwanese economy.
Ma Ying-jeou is seen by many as the opposition's best bet for victory in the 2008 polls. The KMT, or Nationalists, once ruled all of China and fled to Taiwan after losing the Chinese civil war in 1949. The party enjoyed uninterrupted rule of the island until 2000, when it lost to Chen Shui-bian's DPP. Beijing refuses to deal with "president" Chen Shui-bian, whose Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) stands for an independent Taiwan identity.
The venue of the un-ticket-ed event had to be changed that evening, causing much anger to many who had waited inside and outside the Hong Kong theatre, the original venue. Reportedly, the Hong Kong theatre was already full at 4.30 pm, two hours before the event was supposed to start.
Drop in uni applications
Photograph: Chris Colvin
Turn to Features for The Beaver's
. exclusive interview with DR MA.
This year's Raising and Giving (RAG) Week looks set to be bigger and better than previous years with a great variety of events involving different students.
Throughout the week a Jumble Sale will be held in the Quad, with a non stop broadcast from Pulse FM being played. All money paid in fines at the library for this week only will also be donated towards the causes.
On Tuesday the Knitting Society will begin a 24-hour Knit and other events for this day include a Modern Dance show, 'RAG Special' Three Tuns Quiz in the evening. On Thursday, students will be able to abseil down the Old Building and the much publicised 'Big Beaver,' a 48-hour reality show featuring LSE 'celebrities' and 'non-celebrities' based on television's 'Big Brother' will begin. Friday evening will feature a Pub Crawl round the West End followed by discounted entry and prizes at Crush.
The Athletic Union (AU) is also contributing towards the effort having organised a special 5-a-side football tournament at Berrylands on Sunday and a charity raffle in its annual hustings for the AU Executive on Wednesday. The Drama Society will also
In Brief:
ELECTIONS
Nominations for the LSE Students' Union (SU) Lent term elections opened last Thursday, following the Union General Meeting (UGM).
Many positions are on offer, including SU General Secretary and SU Treasurer. A number of prominent SU figures are expected to contest and it is understood that many unknown candidates will also enter the race this year.
LSE SU Returning Officer Doug Oliver says that he, along with LSE SU Communications Officer Chris Heathcote, is "trying to put a real push into advertising and increasing awareness of the elections." He told The Beaver that he has several plans for the elections, including hustings in several halls of residence and a "Question Time" style debate between candidates on the Monday before voting, in an effort to "increase the amount of contact time between candidates and voters."
Voting will take place in the Quad - between 9 am and 7 pm - on Wednesday and Thursday of next week. Nominations remain open until 5 pm tomorrow and can be completed online or via a form available from the SU reception in the East Building.
Many students have already been given flyers informing them of the upcoming elections and they have also been mentioned at the last few UGMs.
Andy Hallet
ULU Data Sharing
A motion has been passed at the UGM which will aim to entitle all students at the LSE to automatically be eligible to
donate £1 from each ticket sold for its performance of 'Convenience' next Wednesday and Saturday.
However, the inaugural Speed Dating event, which was scheduled for Valentine's day had to be cancelled as only eight tickets were sold.
In response to a question on how much they were hoping to raise, RAG Taskforce Chair and LSE Students' Union Communications Officer Chris Heathcote, told The Beaver, "The RAG taskforce, made up of around 25 LSE students and I have set a pretty ambitious target of £10,000, which would represent a big increase on last year when we raised around £7,000."
He continued, "We are continuing the usual events that always prove successful like the abseiling down the Old Building, the pub crawl and selling t-shirts, but this year we have added new events such as the Jumble Sale, coordinated events in halls or residences and 'Big Beaver'-LSE's vet-own Big Brother rip-off, which could be fantastic. We have also persuaded the Library to once again donate fines paid to RAG week and hopefully that will become a yearly thing."
The chosen charities for 2006 are Wateraid, Strokes UK, St Mungo's London Homelessness charity and the Disasters	Emergency
Committee.
Chris Heathcote proposed the motion on data sharing
Photo: Laieh fvazerwi-Vesari vote in University of London Union (ULU) elections. Each year four full-time sabbatical and fourteen part-time officers are elected to the ULU Executive Committee.
The motion, proposed by LSE Students' Union General Secretary Rishi Madlani and Communications Officer Chris Heathcote, mandated Madlani to request to the School that names and email addresses of students be shared with ULU. Currently students are required to apply separately, including filling in a form and providing a photograph, to be able to vote in ULU elections.
The motion suggests that whilst the LSE is still a member of ULU contributing money to its upkeep, there should be more participation in its elections from the abysmally low turn out in previous years. Despite ULU representing over 120,000 students across London imiversi-ties and colleges, just over 1000 of those turned out to vote in last year's election. It is hoped that by increasing the amount of data sharing it wrill become easier for students to register on time.
Amy Williams
06 Reaver! 21 February 2006
COMMENT

ANALYSIS
The
Problems ofSTV
Ben Lamy
The UGM this week raised a serious issue regarding the Student Union's method of electing its seven Constitution and Steering members by Single Transferable Vote (STV) rather than the First Past the Post system (FPP). The issue was raised in a Motion by SU sabbatical officer Chris Heathcote and was opposed by General Secretary Rishi Madlani. The motion fell. Here I will put forward my view as to why I believe that we should have followed Heathcote's approach.
One of the points raised in defence of the current system is that it prevents political groups from gaining a significant presence on the Conraiittee that is charged with controlling the conduct of the Union. This seemed to be the main bone of contention for those that voted in favour of rejecting the motion (after all of five minute's discussion). Their argument, as far as I can see is that the FPP system would allow a group of members of a political party to theoretically vote equally for seven members of that party, whereas the current system would mean that each voter could only give preference to one particular member. The first problem with this theory is that it acts on the assumption that one political society is going to try and pack C&S with its member, something which didn't happen at the last elections. Regardless of this,
though, why shouldn't they? These are elections and the candidates have already declared which party they are rurming under, even though the point of the position is to decide issues based on the constitution rather than on any political preference. If enough people vote for them in any system they will be elected.
The point is that there is more than one political party and more than enough people not running on a political ticket, for the system to work as it is intended to. Using the FPP system it is just as easy for apolitical voters to choose to give less than their seven votes if necessary. However, using the current system, it is impossible to vote for candidates with an equal preference. This means that if you want to vote for three equally good candidates you have to somehow give a preference to one, and thereby significantly reduce the chances of the other two, as, with relatively few people voting, each 1st preference vote is of vital importance. This shows what I
believe to be a democratic deficit.
In fact, the current system actually makes it more likely for a member of say the British National Party to get into C&S since the STV approach positively favours collusion. In the recent C&S elections for instance only 20 1st preference votes were needed for election, meaning that if a member of the BNP had brought similar minded people with them to vote for him or her, they would have been elected. However, using the FPP system, since we give equal preference to up to seven candidates there would be a much higher number of votes required for someone to be elected.
Voter turnout at the C&S elections makes it even more important that we use the FPP system, since with only 200 voters in the last election there is a much greater threat of collusion where groups of people may come together to order their votes in the most favourable terms for all of their favoured candidates to be elected.
The most serious problem, though with the Single Transferable Vote system is completely aside from any political issue, something which has been blown out of all proportion. It is the fact that it was possible for all 200 voters to vote for a candidate and for them to yet still get knocked out in the first round of exclusions. This would occur if everyone voted for him or her as their second preference or lower. Taken with the FPP system, however the effect is the complete opposite and ultimately a fairer result at that. Put in amore realistic concept, there is a serious amount of luck in how each voter preferences some of the candiadtes, especiallyif people vote by who they don't want to be elected, as happens in all elections. This randomisation-means that the candidates who-have received the most overall votes(in whatever preference) may still be voted out in the early rounds. How can someone argue that this is a fair system? Had the voter turnout been in the thousands, the problems of STV would be less severe, but still prevalent.
Finally there was the argument raised in the UGM that since the STV system is used in many countries we should use it as well. For a university at the cutting edge of political and economic thought to just accept a system, especially one as flawed as the STV system, just because others use it should horrify us all. The only serious flaw that I can see in my argument is that the First Past the Post system is used in our General Elections and look who we have now.


4^
In defence of SU politics

The first time I told my friends that I could be a good General-Secretary for the LSESU, one asked me: "How many friends do you have on the Facebook?" I answered that I had made the decision not to join the Facebook in the first place. "Well, you're never gorma make it", he said and continued: "Rishi had over 600 friends when he was elected". I knew then that I may need a Plan B for drubbing up support for myself for next year.
Being active in student politics since primary school, I wanted to put myself into this. I strongly believe, even after seeing the sometimes almost tragi-comedic features of the LSE UGM, that students need their representation. For me, the student union is not there to amuse a handful of noisy people who don't have anything else to do on a Thursday afternoon than throw paper in the Old Theatre, but to bodyguard the interests of that part of the population which really do not fit into society. We are not children anymore, so we are not allowed to take it easy and just play football all day long; we are not profitable for society in the sense that we don't earn money and are able to pay our taxes; and we are not
older people either, who have already done their part. We are those "lazy wonderers" who just sit in the Tuns and have no idea what it is to live in the "real world".
So why should the forthcoming elections be taken seriously? First of aU, organizing a body of approximately 5000 students is not an easy task. Although I don't know the current Sabbaticals personally, I'm quite confident that they will agree with me that they have to work for their salaries. I'm not sure if all the people understand that by voting they are not just showing support for their best pal but are actually giving someone permission to represent them and get paid for that. Running a student union is not exactly the same as running a multinational investment bank, but it's still tough.
Knowing most of the people going to Crush every Friday does not make you the best candidate for Gen-Sec. As I have only been here this year, I can't compare Rishi's team to any previous ones nor do I feel any need to do that either: purely by their appearances in UGMs, I can tell that they're taking it seriously. Everyone loves Nat, that has become clear, and yeah, Chris took part in the Barrel,
not to mention the fact that in addition to his real job, Rishi seems to have a duty to observe what's going on in Neighbours, but it seems to be very rare that someone is interested about problems concerning our residences or student fees.
Come on. half of the resolutions passed this year have been a joke and have had nothing to do with a real life. As a Greenpeace activist O am sad for Wally as well, I find the idea of banning Chritsmas outrageous, but these facts have little, if any, real significance in our lives as students.
I'm sure that my friend was overestimating the power of the f^cebook. I do, however, believe that students are not that stupid that they leave communication between the LSE and themselves in the hands of a bunch of idiots. So whoever is ruiming, don't worry, I'm not going to make hustings boring. The intention behind this crying is that I wish I, as a student almost done with my years as a useless citizen, can raise awareness that although life does not need to be miserable, there is a time when things should be taken a little more seriously. Maybe elections could be good the place to start.

Hacks, voyeurs and the politically curious; welcome to Hacktavist - your one stop shop for superior spurious rumour, gossip and hearsay. This is the filthy grease that keeps the Houghton Street Circus oiled.
Hacktavist learns this week that sometime opinionated waif Simon Bottomley may be nm-ning in the EdWelfaie race. The
move could spell disaster for other progressives Dave Cole and favorite Alex Vincenti. Earlier rumours that the AU's beancounter Fabs Joesph was going to swing out of the edwel-fare race to have a crack at fair-weather (and fair-trade) eco-capitalist Joel Kenrick as
Treasurer could prove unfoimd-ed if the edwelfare goal stays open.
Clem Broumley-Young drops out of residences to allow Wgan wigga, and awkward squad dame Louise Bobinson to cash in her electoral currency (still on the wane? Narked boyfriends send letters to the usual address.)
Hacks wait with baited breath to see who the Tories will support. As former chair Lizzie Fison steps aside, the Tory mantle looks set to be taken up Richard Holden, marking the ascendency of pragmatists over idealogues.
Off the t'esoT'd, on the >iT, and very... hush-hush.
Candidates in the C&S byelec-tion broke electoral rules. The irony being, they are the one's who decide whether to be punished. Constitutionally illegal emails were sent roimd to drum up support for several candidates. AU hero Adrian Beciri told AU members in an email to vote for him so he could "fuck the SU constitution up as much as possible" Could he be the wild card who will force unity among the other six members, or the funniest thing to happen to elections since Jo (/) Kibble got knocked for six?

EXECUTIVE EDITOR
Sam Jones
MANAGING EDITOR
Sidhanth Kamath
BUSINESS MANAGER
Michael Fauconnier-Bank
NEWS EDITORS Chris Lam;
Tanya Rajapakse
FEATURES EDITORS Jess Brammar; Joshua Hergesheimer
PART B EDITORS
Jam! Makan Alex Teytelboym
SPORTS EDITORS Sancha Balnton; Sam Lehmann
GRAPHICS EDITOR Magnus Aabech
COMMENT & ANALYSIS EDITOR Amy Williams
COMMISSIONING EDITORS l$mat Abidi;
Peter Currie
FILM EDITORS Casey Cohen
MUSIC EDITORS Sam Ashton;
Kevin Perry
LITERATURE EDITOR Chris Hank
THEATRE EDITOR Charlie Hallion
VISUAL ARTS EDITOR Daniel Yates
FASHION EDITOR Ben Lamy
ABOUT EDITOR Gareth Rees
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THE COLLECTIVE:
Chairperson: Alexa Sharpies
Raihan Alfaradhi; Atif Aii; Andhalib Karim; Jon Bartley; Ruby Bhavra; Matt Boys; Clem Broumley-Young; Sumit Buttoo; James Caspell; Simon Chignell; Sal Chowdhury; Jo Clarke; Dave Cole; Chris Colvin; Patrick Cullen; Lisa Cunningham; Owen Coughlan; Chris Daniels; James Davies; Tamsin Davis; Laura Deck; Ali Dewjl; Kanan Dhru; Jan Dormann; Matt Dougherty; Jan Duesing; Slan Errington; John Erwin; Alex George; Shariq Gllani; Lucie Goulet; Steve Gummer; Andrew Hallett; Chris Heathcote; Joshua Hergesheimer; Alex Hochuli; Nazir Hussain; Stacy-Marie Ishmael; Angus Jones; Fabian Joseph; Laleh Kazemi-Veisarl; Joel Kenrick; Stefanle Khaw; Ahmad Khokher; Arthur Krebbers; Charles Laurence; Adrian LI; Ziyaad Lunat; Rishi Madlani; Zhanna Makash; Kim Mandeng; Fatima Manji; John McDermott; Peter McLaughlin; Anna Ngo; Doug Oliver; Laura Parfitt; Rob Parker; Nina Pattlnson; Eliot Pollak; Keith Postler; Tanya Rajapakse; Olivia Russo;Dom Rustam; Laura Sahramma; Jai Shah; Matt Sinclair; Marta Skundric; James Stevens; Jimmy Tam; Grace Tan; Nastaran Tavakoli>Far; Sarah Taylor; James Upsher; Natalie Vassilouthis; Alex Vincenti; Claudia Whitcomb; Yee To Wong
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If you have written three or more articles for The Beaver and your name does not appear in the Collective, please email:
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IBeaverj 21 February 2006 07
COMMENT&ANALYSIS
leaver
Established 1949 - Number 638
You are what you eat
LSE food criticised
It is a truth universally acknowledged that educational institutions are rarely counted among the regular haunts of cultured gastronomes.
It comes as little shock that the LSE's catering facilities are no exception to this rule. Most students seem to agree; food on campus is overpriced or of poor quality.
The most recent addition to the LSE's food outlets, the Garrick, took a particular slating from students in a survey this week. £5 and upwards for a cooked meal might not seem so outrageous were the food served of a decent standard. For the same price, however, student's can easily walk up Kingsway and find something far better for their money.
Said and done, the Garrick's customer base is large. It is certainly an improvement on its predecessor, the privately owned Columbia Bar, and at least has a little ambience, unlike elsewhere on campus.
But if the Garrick is to maintain its high prices, then the LSE must also seek to provide a cheaper alternative. As it is, the Brunchbowl does not fiU this requirement - it is high time for its refurbishment.
Healthier options also need to be catered for. Though the Bnmchbowl does have a large salad bar, little solace is found for the aspirant healthy eater. The hot meal selection is diverse; but in the wrong ways. The staples; fish&chips, wedges, beans and sausages are more little chef than LSE. Perhaps it's time to introduce some healthier regulars?
Halal and Kosher food is also difficult to find. The SU shop provides sandwiches, but it is shocking that the school, which touts its multicultviral diversity, still refuses to provide Halal & Kosher offerings on the basis of cost.
These are all substantial problems with the LSE's food provision. This paper hopes now that the school will stop trying to claim that there is 'insufficient information' on student opinions and organise some kind of wider dialogue with students about what they want to eat.
c&s
UGM byelection
The election of the new interim C&S last Thursday came with mixed blessings. On the one hand, three women were elected to the committee; certainly a welcome change on the previous patriarchy. Simon Douglas's re-election was also a good thing: he should bring welcome balance and sense to the committee. This paper hopes he retakes the chair
On the other hand, the election of Beciri, whose sole aim is to "fuck the constitution up"seems more worrying. Of course we are all for representation of the AU on the committee. It's high time C&S represented the interests of the whole UGM. We of course, don't see a necessary connexion between the AU and reckless chauvinism. Alas, Beciri doesn't seem to agree.
RAG Week
PAY YOUR
I inoiiiiv
FINES
Because this week it gom to RAG week



Top Up Fees
Letters to the Editor
The Beaver offers all readers the right to reply to anything that appears in the paper. Letters should be sent to thebeaver.editor@lse.ac.uk and should be no longer than 250 v/ords. All letters must be recieved by 3pm on the Sunday prior to publication. The Beaver reserves the right to edit letters prior to publication.
Dear Sir,
Last week's front page head-line;"Top up fees set to rise' was almost spot-on. With the insertion of 'not' between 'fee;s and 'set' it would accurately describe the position. There is no question of Uk undergraduates' fees at LSE being set at anything other than £3,000, adjusted for inflation, for the foreseeable future.
UKEU undergraduates joining LSE in autumn 2006 will be the first cohort to be charged £3,000 tuition fees. They can choose to pay this up front or take out a student loan which they will not start to pay back until they begin to earn more than £15,000. As we a^eed in 2004 a third of the additional income we receive will go back to financially disadvantaged students, a rather larger proportion than in many other universities.
There is no question of the regime being changed, or the fee cap lifted, during this parliament. There will be a review in 2009. That is why I said, in answer to a question at the UGM, that I was not lobbying on the issue now, unlike some other university Heads.
But, as i also said at the UGM, and have said before, what the School receives in the form of fees and grants continues to be iess than it costs to educate UK/EU undergraduates. Of course we will need to look at the impact of fees on applications and on diversity before deciding the School's views on any future fees. But that economic reality will not go away.
I have taken the view, since coming here, that it is preferable to tell the student body as much as possible about the School's financial position. So I give frank answers to questions put to me. That makes for better-informed discussions of the options we face.
Your reporting by contrast served to obscure rather than illuminate the debate, and you editorial, with its reference to the possibility of doinestic fees at £11,000 is from the'think of a number and double it' school of journalism.
Howard Davies
Middle east

Dear Sir,
As a self-identifying liberal, I was astounded by the psychoti-cally Anti-Semitic drivel that Andy Hallet has attempted to pass off as an opinion column. While Mr Hallet would be no doubt flabbergasted at the accusation of Anti-Semitism, the charge stands: his column is nothing if not a string of libellous, unsubstantiated, vacuous nonsense. As is apparently the fashion at the moment in Britain, he chooses to casually ascribe inhuman atrocities to
the entire nation of Israel without a shred of logical or empirical evidence, which is as wilfully ignorant as it is offensive. As Mr Hallet is no doubt unaware, the bombing of the King David Hotel was undertaken by a group of extremist proto-Israelis, the Irgun, who were a tiny group, actively opposed by its more socialist counterpart, the Hagganah (which has turned out far more politicians than the Irgun, and comprised the vast majority of armed Israelis) who outright banned the organization. They produced but a single PM (the notably extremist Menachem Begin), hardly his ludicrous claim of "half the Israeli PMs". Another absurd claim: That the Britons were somehow "saving" the Jews. Take a look at the White Paper of 1938 (a British Mandate denying access to Palestine for Jews fleeing the Holocaust). That's what sparked the whole Irgun thing anyway.
To counter each individual claim in Mr. Hallet's column would require more space than a single letter allows for Indeed, the same grievance applies to the editorial across the page, another asymmetric assault on Israel, with no reference to the barbarism and brutality of its opposition. I am not calling for "kid-gloves" to be applied to Israel, nor do I mean to imply that criticisms of Israel are inherently Anti-Semitic. Its actions in recent years have been notably deplorable and inhumane. Yet the standard by which it is judged, and the self-righteous fervor with which the Beaver staff has chosen to denounce it leaves me extremely disappointed. There can be no claim to intellectual honesty when history is swept aside, and the crimes of one group so magnified as another's is shrunk or entirely negated.
I suppose it's to be expected, after all. Muslims vastly outnumber Jews here in England, it makes sense that the panders should be directed to them. However, it stands to reason that in the absent of logical or rational discussion, vitriol directed to an entire population can be interpreted as a denunciation of that population wholesale. If the conversation is to be productive, it must be two-sided. A one sided-conversation of this type is undiluted intellectual tomfoolery. How Mr Hallet conceives of himself as somehow "liberal", or "left" is beyond me. He is as reactionary as anything I've read.
Yours unequivally,
Daniel Pogash
Dear Sir,
Ever since the first publication of 'eyes to the left' ala Andy Hallet, his views have been shrouded in controversy. I believe that perhaps he has taken too much criticism and noticeably no one has written in on a regular basis to commend him on his often apt analysis, for example last week's edition. However this time he has overstepped the mark so far that the mark is a mere dot to him. As a member of the Labour Party and
The Rogue's Gallery No. 10: Notes only
one who considers himself to be on the left of the party membership, I am appalled at the way Hallet has chosen to depict the middle east situation. Too often the left sinks into its pro Palestine, anti Israel rant which does absolutely nothing to help bring forward a constructive debate.
Perhaps it is time for HaUet to really think about what he is saying before he starts up his JOB digger and constructs a monstrosity of a grave.
Yours sincerely.
Max Keane
Hacked Off
Dear Sir,
While I wonder whether inclusion in 'Hacktavist!' is a compliment or a sign that I am too involved in the SU's machinations, I have to address your inaccuracies.
You refer to Louise Robinson's "electoral currency" as waning, a strange accusation for a Fi-esher who has stood in one SU election and came fourth behind 'heavyweight' candidates. If losing elections as a Fresher signifies electoral bankruptcy, I wonder why anyone re-stands.
You seem to suggest that votes were split between Louise and I in the Rosebery Presidential race - but if they were, how can Louise's popularity be significantly decreasing? Indeed, one wonders why you assume it was split at aU. You have clearly not approached anyone at Rosebery - especially not Louise and I -and your piece was based on hearsay.
Furthermore, Louise and I object to your disparaging reference to new Rosebery President, Ola Gbaja-BiamUa, as a "joke". Ola ran an incredible campaign: he was duly elected by Roseberians and I trust him to do brilliantly. After a competi-
tive campaign with close results, you should be applauding the excitement of Rosebery's elections.
The serious fault of your article was that, in an issue that lamented the lack of female SU candidates, you diminished the prospects of one of the most promising SU newcomers. But I would say that, being her "fellow green winger" and "boyfriend". We'll see about our "electoral currency" in the Lent elections.
Yours,
Aled Dilwyn Fisher
Dallaire
Dear Sir,
After reading Alexa Sharpies' interview with Romeo Dallaire, and hearing and reading frequently about the atrocities in Somalia, Haiti, Cambodia, Yugoslavia and now Sudan, we are left to wonder yet again, of the validity and subsistence of the UN. It is astonishing that Annan was made Secretary General after repeatedly ignoring Dallaire's request for help when he was Director of Peace Keeping operations. One only need watch the documentary of Dallaire's Rwandan nightmare -Shake Hands with the Devil: The Story of Romeo Dallaire - to realise how the genocide could have been drastically minimised had UN members acted swiftly. There is a remarkable piece in the documentary when after nearly ten years Dallaire returns to Kigali and the UN compound only to be told he 'needs clearance' - this, for someone who protected that very compound during those traumatic 100 days of genocide.
Yours sincerely, Shefali Roy
08 iBeaverl 21 February 2006
FEATURES
Politics/Law/Business/Careers thebeaver .blink@lse .ac.uk
The right approach
Charies Laurence
12-13
TERROR?
HTHE PEI
INTER
'By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down. Yes, we wept, when we remembered Zion.' Psalms 137:1
A certain portion of the Left has always been susceptible to a victimhood fetish. The Jews were a poor people suffering from oppression and therefore the Left overwhelmingly supported the creation of Israel (mandated by the United Nations in 1947). They even supported Israel as it repeatedly fought off overwhelming enemies, in the years after its founding. But once Israel became a strong nation that did not have to rely on others to defend itself, its former friends slowly deserted it. They now fetishize the Palestinians and, through zero-sum analysis, demonise the Israelis. Suddenly, the Jewish people, who have been patiently and unfalteringly (see above quotation) pursuing the oldest fight for nationhood in human history, suddenly find themselves justifying their right to a land of their own. An indignity that even an upstart like the United States, which broke away from Britain based on a tax dispute, does not have to go through.
There was a time when those who criticised Israel cared about appearing anti-Semitic. I can only assume that when Andy Hallet argued that, "every day more men, women and children are added to the list of those killed in pursuit of more lebensraum for the Israeli state," he was making it clear he could not care less. What interests me about those of Mr Hallet's ilk is why, if Israel is so terrible, do they have to rely on constant distortions of the truth in their denunciations of it? The lebensraum comment is a case in point: despite being self-evidently repellent, it also neglects to mention that Israel has given up over 2/3 of its land-mass in return for various peace assurances. Was Mr Hallet unaware of this? If so, he should probably cease to write on the topic with such authority. Or did he knowingly omit this fact?
That is not all. Mr Hallet claims that Israelis '"killed enough people to convince the international community ... to allow them to steal Arabs' land and country." Is Mr Hallet not aware that it was the Arabs, not the Israelis, who walked out of talks on how to divide the historic land of Israel (which was British controlled) between Jews and Arabs? Perhaps he was also unaware that within weeks of Israel's creation, every one of its neighbours simultaneously invaded to wipe out the Jewish state. Who was stealing what from whom, Mr Hallet? Did he not realise that after the Israeli War of Independence, Gaza and the West Bank were occupied by Egypt and Jordan for 20 years, and effectively turned into open-air prisons? Or that the number of Jewish refugees forcibly removed from Arab states massively outnumbered the number of Arabs who left the newly created Israel?
If Mr Hallet looked at the facts, he may be surprised to find out that in 1967, having inflicted another crushing defeat on a coalition of Arab adversaries, Israel offered to make the West Bank and Gaza into an independent state in return for peace and recognition on the part of its Arab neighbours (based on Resolution 242 - look it up.
Andy). Israel was met with the famous 3 No's: "no compromise, no recognition, no peace," and faced with the prospect of the West Bank falling, once again, into the hands of implacable enemies, with Israel occupied.
The whole of Israel from right to left recognises the need to create a viable Palestinian state; what they will not accept is the creation of an enemy terrorist entity on the border. The societal and financial cost of occupation weighs heavy on the Israelis, and they are desperate to hand the land over to a peaceable and viable government. Yet the Palestinian leadership has constantly failed its people, most recently with Arafat's rejection of the Camp David accords, a rejection described by the Saudis as, "a crime against the Palestinians, in fact against the entire region."
The most shocking quotation from Mr Hallet's factually incorrect, disingenuously argued and grossly offensive piece has to be that, "the vast majority of Israel is implicated in the crimes of the state." This statement seems to cross a line that is very rarely crossed: if they are implicated then surely they must be punished? A bit like Hamas does, Mr Hallet leaves the reader to make the connection.
Those who oppose Israel must be prepared to approach the topic with intellectual honesty and, more fundamentally, must answer this question: why must the Jewish nation be denied what is the birthright of every other people, a land of their own?
Eyes to the left
Last Tuesday night, it was heartening to see Parliament ban smoking in all pubs, clubs and restaurants. Not only because thousands of lives, primarily those of underpaid workers, will be saved because of the legislation. No, it was most heartening because it was an all too rare instance of central government reining back the extremes of the free market, extremes which are usually allowed to run riot and eat away at the common good. Too often, big business bribes and bullies its way to monstrous profits, whilst government either promotes such activities or at least does not hinder them. And, out of all industries, tobacco is surely one of the worst in this respect.
Indeed, it was the tobacco industry, in Britain and other countries, that for decades denied the manifest links between smoking and lung cancer and the fact that it was an addictive pastime, producing bogus "scientific" reports to prove their point. Even today the World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that around 650 million people alive today, over 10 % of the world's total population, will die of a preventable conditions caused by smoking. Memos circulating on the internet at the end of last year showed that US tobacco giant Philip Morris was planning new ways of getting under-16s addicted to their product as part of a grand new business plan, desperate for new, young addicts as so many of their old customers were dead
or dying. Incidentally, Philip Morris retains a majority stake in Kraft, so every time you tuck into a Toblerone you help buoy the profits of these wicked men.
However, one should not think that tobacco is some kind of aberration in the ethics of big business, as most companies beyond a certain size seem to actively hinder the interests of ordinary people and at times exhibit behaviour so immoral it is almost funny. One only has to think of Ford's infamous calculation as to the price of human life and its working out that it was not economically worthwhile to make its cars safer, as it would exceed the expected value of lawsuits filed against it by its deathtraps' victims' families. Time and again, big business has proved that it cannot regulate itself, such is its messianic devotion to Profit, to the extent that scholar Joel Bakan made his famous observation in 2004 that if, as it is treated in law, the corporation was a real person, it would be classed as psychopathic. Thus, we should treat such companies in the same way as we do deranged individuals; they should be kept away from society for the good of the majority.
Regulation is simply the only effective way of keeping such companies in line. They manifest all the worst human qualities; greed, lies and the destruction of human potential and the environment. The key problem is, especially in the US, giant corporations also line the pockets of most law and decision makers, meaning the executive and legislative branches act in their interests rather than that of the electorate. Demonstrable effects on policy caused by big business bribery include oilman Bush refusing to accede to the Kyoto treaty after his 2000 election campaign was funded, in part, by oil giants like ExxonMobil. This conflation between politics and business seems to be spreading to the UK, with New Labour alarmingly receptive to overtures like Bernie Ecclestone's infamous millions of pounds bribe to allow Formula 1 to continue advertising tobacco.
Of course we need business and production to produce employment and the goods and services most of us work very hard to obtain. However, it should always be remembered that the free market exists to serve people, and not the other way around. A good start would be to include all externalities, whether positive or negative, in all production situations; thus transactions' true costs would be represented and much negative behaviour would be reduced or even eliminated. This could be achieved through taxation and subsidisation, if only the government had the courage, and could be justified as reinforcing the markets' primacy, allowing it to be truly efficient by taking more into account. This can be seen in examples like that of BP, whose record-breaking, grotesq-ue profits of £11.04 billion in 2005 become, in the view of the Treasury, a equally gigantic loss if the social and environmental effects of BP's business was included when computing costs versus profits. Although, the real shock should be why the Treasury is not treating companies on the basis of this information, rather than just talking about it. True human freedom will not be achieved until the market, efficient as it can be, truly reflects inputs and outputs and thus returns to serving the people.
log 21/02/06
John Reid, the British government's Defence Secretary, told the BBC today that critics of the behaviour of British troops in Iraq should be "slow to condemn."
"We ought to recognise the difficult situation our troops now fight in, far more difficult than any time in history because they face an enemy that is completely unconstrained."
Despite Dr Reid's attempts to justify the appalling abuse that was once again splashed across the international press last week, his distinction, as vague now as ever, between the dirty war of the guerilla fighter, and the gentlemanly battle of the Sandhurst-trained officer, must be a compelling reason to ensure that our condemnation is both swift and extremely vocal.
The trouble is, Reid's frustration is understandable. Out of the almost 100,000 troops serving in Iraq, there have as yet only been five "sustainable" allegations of the mistreatment of civilians. It is deeply saddening that these isolated incidents will further endanger the lives of the majority of professional soldiers, many of whom may have misgivings about their own role in Bush's War on Terror.
There is simply no acceptable reason for a member of the British government to attempt to justify the abuse of civilians by members of the British army, regardless of whether or not they reflect the conduct of others. By way of explanation, Reid insists, probably quite correctly, that the daily pressure on British troops in Iraq is at an unbearable level. "The international terrorist is not constrained by legality, by morality, by any conventions, Geneva or otherwise," he says.
This may be true, but the last time I checked, the British army purported to be defined by all these things. And not just the army - how many times have we been assured by Bush and Blair that we represent a set of values that is in direct contradiction to those of the indefinable but ever-present enemy? Call me sentimental, but I am pretty disturbed by the point at which a high-ranking member of our government describes morality as a constraint.
But wait, there's more. Gone are the days when politicians hid behind the veneer of integrity and transparency - the heady days of 1997 are well and truly behind us now. "Our troops are increasingly constrained not just by international law and conventions, the standards we want to keep, but by media scrutiny, by videophones, by mobile phones, by satellite dishes". It is becoming harder than ever for a group of British soldiers to beat Iraqis in the street without the suffocating limits of respect for human rights and dignity, and the pesky shocked onlooker with his camera phone. Presumably Dr Reid is feeling nostalgic for the good ol' days, when such atrocities went unseen and unreported.
Bush, Iraq, Guantanamo, Belmarsh, Abu Ghraib, Jean Charles de Menezes...with each new step down the road, we seem even less interested. As a society, if we are really to salvage anything from this increasing moral vacuum, desensitised by the nightly images of death and humiliation that are broadcast into our living rooms, we have to reject inhumanity in all its forms. If British culture is to stand for anything, this is truer than ever when the purveyors of mindless violence are wearing a British uniform.
Features Editor Jess Brammar
FEATURES:POLITICS
iBeaverbi February 2006 lo9
Press freedom
under continuing occupation
Features Editor Joshua Hergesheimer reflects on why an independent media is essential for life in a democratic society.
It has not been the best week
for US and UK public relations. First, a soldier's personal video showing British troops snatching youths out of a crowd and beating them has reignited debate over the efficacy of the continuing occupation. Only a few days later the media reopened the festering sore of Abu Ghraib, as new images of shocking humiliation and degradation of prisoners flashed across our television screens. The next day a UN report presented a damning indictment of the Guantanamo Bay detention facility, alleging that the interrogation techniques employed and the treatment detainees receive is tantamount to torture. The report recommends that the camp be closed immediately.
Seeing the images coming out of Abu Ghraib and watching the video of British troops beating Iraqis, I was immediately struck by the level of brutality I witnessed. It was only upon reflection that I realised the importance of the fact that it had been broadcast at all.
After the publication of the Danish cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), protests erupted all over the world. Of all the protest banners, the slogan of one now stands out in my mind: "Press Freedom Go To Hell." I remember being somewhat taken aback by protesters' demands that Western governments should do more to "control the press" and prevent the publication of offensive material.
I can empathize with those who felt offended by the degradation of their faith. I too feel dismayed whenever artists feel the need to ridicule religious figures to make their point. But to ask the government to control what people can and cannot say or do in media or the arts is unthinkable.
Do we honestly believe that if governments controlled the media we would have ever heard about the Abu Ghraib scandal? Whatever you think about the propriety of broadcasting such humiliating photos, the fact remains that the US government lobbied hard to have all of the evidence from Abu Ghraib suppressed. They did not want such negative publicity to undo their propaganda campaign about the wonderful life Iraqis were now experiencing, having been liberated by coalition forces.
In other words, if governments had their way, we would have no idea about the horrible things that are carried out by our governments, in our name. The comparable lack of coverage provided by the American media over the war in Iraq illustrates
I

g

Clockwise from left: newspaper stands; protests against Denmark and the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten; photos taken by US prison guards documenting abuse of Iraqi detainees in Abu Ghraib
this point. When even photos of the returning coffins of US soldiers are censored in mainstream American media, we quite rightly exclaim that the American public's view of the war is being systematically distorted, that they are being sheltered from facing the true costs of conflict.
As shocking and horrible as the images of Abu Ghraib are, the world needs to know what went on there. If broadcasting these
For those who protested against the publication of the Danish cartoons,
I ask one question: would complete govern-ment control over the
media really help the cause of Muslims?
photos furthers the cause of those who are now clamoring for a full investigation of what went on, then I believe that their publication is essential.
Of course, such broadcasts must be sensitive to those who were the victims of such brutality and sadism, and the media must not be driven by the urge to 'shock and profit' from these images. But one thing is clear: if governments controlled the press, we would be perpetually kept in the dark.
We cannot exercise our democratic ability to make informed decisions if we are not provided with enough information to understand what our governments are doing and why. I believe that we do not as of yet have sufficient information. When we demand answers about what is going on in Guantanamo Bay, we are confronted with a virtual media blackout. This is completely unacceptable. We have a right to know who these people
are, what crimes they are alleged to have committed and what the government intends to do with them. We have a right to demand that any trials taking place must be open and transparent, not conducted through secret military tribunals that have no right of appeal and carry the possibility of a death sentence.
The often ravenous approach taken by the media to sensitive issues sometimes makes me
'The video showing British troops beating Iraqi youths and the
images from Abu Ghraib should dispel any lingering myths about the benevolence of the US and UK foreign policy.'
cringe. I would not want to be anyone under the scrutiny of the press, facing cameras and tape recorders wherever I go. However, I am somewhat heartened whenever I see evidence that reporters have refused to be pressured or cowed into submission by the powerful in our society, whether that pressure comes from governments, businesses or militaries.
For those who protested against the publication of the Danish cartoons, I ask one question: would complete government control over the media really help the cause of Muslims? As hard as it is to sit in our homes and watch Iraqi children being beaten by British troops, and as humiliating as it feels to see the photos of Abu Ghraib broadcast, we should at least recognise that the global media will not allow the US and the UK to hide from their crimes.
What strikes me most when I watch what is coming out of Iraq is that nothing has really changed. The West still feels that it has the right to dominate. And with that domination inevitably comes torture, abuse and violence.
The video showing British troops beating Iraqi youths and the images from Abu Ghraib should dispel any lingering myths about the benevolence of the US and UK foreign policy. Life under occupation is always brutal and violent. History shows that there can be no such thing as benign military rule. What happened in Basra in 2004 is probably the same as what happened during the British Mandate of Iraq 86 years ago. What happened in Abu Ghraib undoubtedly happened during the US presence in Korea, Vietnam and Latin America.
An occupation cannot sustain itself without brutality. If history teaches us anything, it is that foreign rule can only be preserved through mass violence and the constant humiliation of the subject population. After the Amritsar massacre, when British troops opened fire on unarmed demonstrators, some voices in Parliament argued that if Britain was not prepared to use overwhelming force to crush any dissent, then it was time to go home.
Anyone who argues that the troops must stay because they have a moral duty to the Iraqi people should heed these words. If our stomachs and our conscience are strong enough to witness the horrors that will undoubtedly be broadcast in the future, then the troops can stay. If you, like me, look away out of revulsion and shame when faced with what is going on, then we must withdraw now.
lO iBeaver I 21 February 2006	FEATURES: I
Where power
and charisma
meet...
BY FEATURES CORRESPONDENT YEE TO WONG
DR. MA JING-JEOU is the mayor of Tapei. He if also the chairman of the KMT: The Chinese Communist Party's ideological nemesis of 50 years. This week he speaks exclusively to The Beaver
In Chinese culture, seniority, filial piety and respect for the elders matter. Perhaps it is not so surprising that most of its political leaders, after spending years to rise through the ranks, can appear to be conservative and of an older generation. That's why Dr Ma Ying-jeou, Mayor of the City of Taipei and Chairman of the Kuomintang (KMT), is such a refreshing face to see. An avid jogger and sw^immer, his healthy lifestyle, defying every inch of . that of the stereotypical Chinese political leader, immediately scores him popularity points with the public. Blessed with handsome facial features and an appealing physique, his smoldering looks make him an instant heartthrob around the ladies. In a survey recently conducted by a Taiwanese website, a majority of the ladies indicated that Dr Ma would be their first choice as a date for the Valentines Day. At age fifty-six, his attractiveness is certainly not in decline.
My first encounter with him could only confirm this image of perfection. Clad in a Burberry trench coat, a stylish Italian suit with a matching tie, Dr Ma had just finished preparing his speech on the fifth floor of the Clement House and was making his way to the Old Theatre. Unsure of whom I was when I went up to greet him, he managed to put on a warm smile and utter a polite "hi". Dr Chris Hughes, chair of the event, introduced me at once as "the student journalist who's desperate to interview you." It turns out that I wasn't the only one that was desperate. As early as 4pm on that day, a queue of mostly Chinese students had already begun outside the Hong Kong Theatre, where the lecture was to take place originally. Many of those who were waiting in line
in fact came from other universities, who were desperate to catch a glimpse of the KMT Chairman. Ks we walked on Aldwych, dozens of pedestrians were holding up their cameras, in hope of capturing snapshots of Dr Ma, who, despite the frenzy, remained unfazed and continued chatting with Dr Hughes. I was trailing behind with his assistants, still unadjusted to all the attention that we were causing.
It was absolutely out of control when we reached Houghton Street. Scores of Chinese students, lined up in a row, erupted into a roar when Dr Ma arrived in front of the Old Building. Blinded by flashlights, he stood still for some seconds, posing for photographs like a celebrity and making occasional handshakes with a few lucky fans. As people started pushing in our direction, the security staff tried their best to hold them back, and Dr Ma, while retaining his composure, hurried inside. Bernie Taffs, the LSE's head of security, had his megaphone blasting on the highest volume, shouting into people's ears in an attempt to dissuade them from entering the Old Building. I lost count of how many poor souls, after hours of waiting, had been turned away. Many non-Chinese spectators were amazed, perplexed by what was happening. It was definitely the biggest Chinese crowd drawn by a visiting politician at the LSE in a long while. One of my friends has commented that the current Mayor of Taipei is the most popular Taiwanese politician in mainland China. The fervour of the crowd was solid proof of the undisputed truth in this remark.
By 6pm, the Old Theatre was unbelievably jam-packed. Inside, there were about five camera crews, in addition to many photographers and reporters, many of
whom were from the Asian media, all looking stressed and nervous. The few students who were lucky enough to get a seat were anxious for the lecture to start soon. When Dr Ma finally appeared at 6:30, walking across the stage with exuberance and confidence, the audience was immediately captivated by his charisma. As the speech began, everyone was listening closely, hooked to his every word.
The interview with Dr Ma was initially scheduled at 9:30pm. But because of his required presence at the BBC later that evening, we were forced to move the meeting to an earlier time. My photographer and I were waiting for him in front of the Director's Dining Room on the fifth floor of the Old Building. He showed up shortly after 8, and, as he approached us, he instantly recognised me (as "the desperate student journalist"), and we shook hands. The warmth that he was able to convey through the handshake had rendered me hopelessly star-struck - standing in front of me was the Chairman of the KMT, one of the most important figures in contemporary Chinese politics, who possessed the gift of warming up to people so easily. Afterwards, he invited us into the Director's Dining Room, which was quite a sight for those of us who are used to the Wright's Bar or the Brunch Bowl. With shuddering awe, I set foot into a part of the LSE premise where few students have been and was dazzled by its glamour. In the middle of the room, there was a big, round dining table, on which all the dining utensils and wine glasses were carefully set. While other honoured guests were
socialising in another room, Drj Ma kindly offered me to sit down Thrilled, I pulled out the chair] next to him, taking the seat designated to some senior diplomat.
With the insightful instinct of a skilled politician, Dr Ma opened our conversation by asking if I am from Hong Kong or not. Having accurately guessed my place of origin, we chatted briefly about the city, which happens to be his place of birth as well, and is now a special administrative region of China. In Taiwanese society people make a sharp distinction between locals and "mainlan-ders", so I can't help but wonder whether the fact that he was born to Hunanese parents and migrated to Taiwan only after his birth, has, at any point, been an obstacle in the path of his political career The answer was in the negative. Referring to his joke in the lecture about being "made in Taiwan", Dr Ma said his birthplace doesn't affect his career, but it prompts him to be concerned about it, "I watch Hong Kong closely with interest, hoping that Hong Kong could achieve democratic society. When I saw half a million people demonstrating on the street for the abolition of Article 23, it was very touching."
This, in effect, seems to reinforce his credentials as a champion of democracy. Because of his advocacy for the status quo and call for closer relations with mainland China, his opponents in Taiwan have vehemently attacked him for being "soft" on the Communist Party and branded him as a "traitor" of the Taiwanese people. In such a sensitive issue, anyone who takes the middle ground - between the extremes of independence and reunification - is bound to come imder fire for sitting on the fence. While affirming that secession is not the answer, his somewhat
ambiguous stance on the Un prospects of reunification is goi unsettling to many Taiwanese, dej His view on Hong Kong is thusUn very important in reassuring his acc commitment to the democratic fro ideal.	the
f or Ma
Dr Ma's belief in we: democracy was fostered and consoli- An dated by his experi- an< ence in the United ter States. He reflected fondly on his Un time in America as an interna- fur tional student, saying that it has Un "tremendous impact" on his res thinking and his values. As an far undergraduate student at the ape prestigious National Taiwan lea University, he was active in stu- for dent politics, and that earned him "Y< an invitation to participate in an fee exchange programme in America, my "I was invited by the State em Department to visit the United Ian States for seventy days as a stu- the dent leader when I was a junior bet (third year) in college," he told car me. "It was quite an experience Foi for me, and I decided to pursue nei my advanced studies in the dif
Should the LSE SU ban smoking?
21 February 2006
I
IXlfiSUflK
Film
Andy Warhol: Ten Portraits of Jews of the Twentieth Century National Portrait Gallery 10am-6pm Free
A comprehensive guide to the upcoming Academy Awards in March
Kanye West
Carling Apollo Hammersmith 7:30pm £27.50

Music
Remembering J Dilla; Michael Jurin of stellastarr* explains why aesthetics count in art school
Visual arts
Delectable eroticism at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden
Literature
We remember the holy father of Gonzo journalism one year after his suicide
EDITORIAL
There are two obituaries in the puUout this week. As Alex said last week, there are reasons for everything; both Thompson and Jay Dee were smokers. Anyway.
Alex spent all of Wednesday blindfolded to both see (!) how blind people live and raise money for Water Aid. The day did not start too well; he was denied entry into the Peacock Theatre, apparently because his appearance was 'disturbing.' Not that he wanted to attend Stats very much, but still. So much for equality! People were generally not too responsive to pleading descriptions of eye-irritation caused by the cotton eye mask or dizziness caused by the loss of coordination. The trick was to stand in the library, where students
could not escape him and, as a result, took their wallets out. The grand raised total came to £303.05, almost reaching the target of £700. Alex wants to thank everyone who helped him carry out the fundraising event, particularly Antony Waring, Mahir Quraishi, Gita Dhaliwal, Hai Xiang Fuan and Ken Li Chung.
This week we devote much of the pullout to the debate on smoking. The recent decision to ban smoking, which passed on Valentine's Day, shattered the hearts of British smokers everywhere. We present various arguments put forward by members of the senior editorial board.
jamimakan and alexteytelboym
'Byzantine Constantinople' Gallery Talk
British Museum
1:15pm
Free
WtYfrifsitav
Alternative Fashion Week Spitalfields Market 10am-5pm Free
The Lies & How We Told Them
93 Feet East, Brick Lane
7:30pm
£5
Two Gallants
100 Club, Oxford Street
7.30 pm
£7.50
Thiirsflav
O2 Ice Rink,
Canary Wharf 9:00am-9.30pm £8 (NUS)
'Feeling Gloomy' Club Night
Bar Academy Islington 10pm-3am £5 (NUS)
Sinatra at the London Palladium
London Palladium 6pm
From £20
The Commonwealth Heavyweight Boxing
Championship ExCel, London 7:30pm From £40
SiinHay
'Beautiful & The Damned' Club Night
The Boogaloo, Archway Road
9pm
Free
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Royal Shakespeare Company
Novello Theatre
7:30pm
£10-£35
Jump - Ye Gam Theatre Company
Peacock Theatre
7:30pm
£10-£29
'Panic Prevention Disco'
12 Bar Club 7 pm £3
'The Church'
The Forum, Kentish Town 12pm £6
X Factor Live
Hammersmith Apollo
7:30pm
From £25
Monffav

Ryan Adams
Apollo Victoria Theatre 7 pm £22.60
Bone Marrow Appeal
2nd Floor, Tower 3, LSE 10am-5pm
Hamlet
New Ambassadors Theatre
7:30pm
From £20
'King Gong'
Comedy Store
6;30pm
£5
'Caburlesque' Cabaret Evening
Jacks, Crucifix Lane
8pm
£5

SkankyDanccr
By Anonymous	' '	...... ........................¦;¦¦¦" -
I was the boy at Crush standing against the stage in the Quad, drinking my pint and relaxing after a busy week of classes. You were the girl from King's (I know this because you kept complaining to your ugly, wannabe thug of a chav boyfriend about how LSE students 'terronsed' your department) who was wearing a skanky blue dress and too much makeup. Unlike you, I did not spend my reading week sleeping, eating and shopping. In fact, I did not have a reading week at all. Much of my week had been spent studying in the library and missing meals back at my residence hall. At Crush, I finally had a chance to relax with my mates. I was having an awesome, evening until you showed up.
You and your boyfriend, whose spiked hair was as tasteless as your faux Burberry handbag, were dancing next to me. He danced quite gracefully for a degenerate. You, on the other hand, were as trashed as you were trashy. Your arms flailed everywhere, and you kept bumping into everyone around you. Even your boyfriend felt embarrassed. If he had not removed your cigarette from your hand, it probably would have found its way into some poor kid's eye. He kept kissing you, probably because he realised kissing would prevent you from dancing.
Unfortunately, he did not kiss you long enough. As soon as you started dancing again, you knocked my pint out of my hand. Beer spilled all over the floor and my brand new shirt. Instead of saying sorry, you turned to me looking angry and offended. You grunted 'ugh!' and stormed off. pulling away your boyfriend, who tried apologising for your stupidity.
I hope I never see you again, skank.Your presence at Crush inflicts more damage on LSE than ^ any AU splinter group is capable of.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations -changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent- to thebeaver.art@lse.ac.uk with Hey You!'as the subject line. Hey You! inspired by the OCVfeekly of Santa Ana, California.
21 February 20o6
i
Dick Cheney
During a quail inunting trip, attorney Harry Whittington never expected to get sprayed in the face witin 200 birdslnot pellets. We wonder whether the Annerican Vice President, with his ghoulish demeanour and sinister grin, was actually out hunting hunnans.
Who amongst us has never thought about shooting a lawyer at some stage? Whether it was during conversations with students who rabidly insisted on detailing the length of required TORT reading lists, after hearing about the £750,000 Elton John received for being accused of sucking prawns or in the middle of yet another startlingly dull episode of Kavanagh QC, the urge to put bullets in barristers often seems overwhelming.
The world's most powerful men are required to behave with a certain degree of decorum. When Vice President Aaron Burr took offence at the comments of political rival Alexander Hamilton in 1804, he did so with meager dignity, writing a flurry of letters on rather natty vellum writing paper: 'You must perceive, Sir, the necessity of a prompt and unqualified acknowledgement or denial of the use of any expressions which could warrant the assertions of Dr. Cooper.'
The current Vice President has never been characterised by subtle diplomacy or superb tact. He once told Democratic
Senator Patrick Leahy 'fuck yourself on the Senate floor after Leahy questioned his close ties to Halliburton Co., an international energy services company that has received numerous contracts to help rebuild Iraq.
Hamilton escaped with honour but without life. He faced Burr in a duel and his ribcage was shattered by the Vice Presidential pistol shot. Texan lawyer Harry Whittington, on the other hand, not only declined to return fire after being hit by a shotgun blast fired by Dick Cheney, but also suffered a mild heart attack when one of the birdshot pellets entered his bloodstream.
Although the event represents an unfortunate personal tragedy for Whittington, comics have enjoyed an unlikely field day. David Letterman joked: 'Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we've finally located Weapons of Mass Destruction...it's Dick Cheney!' Jay Lcno remarked: 'I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, "Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?"', making reference to
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current debates regarding the legality of domestic spying programmes. Jon Stewart warned parents: 'Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the Vice President. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're tiding to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted. It's just not worth it.' Apparently wit did not die with Oscar Wilde.
Why add more damp kindling to the already healthy furnace of satire about a mythological incident? There are several serious inconsistencies regarding the incident that demand clarification. It has been suggested that Cheney had been drinking before the incident. One quote from ranch keeper Katharine Armstrong, apparently deleted from MSN news sites, states, 'There may have been a beer or two there.' Secret Service agents allegedly refused to admit local law enforcement to question the Vice President for twelve hours. The local county sheriff cleared Cheney of any wrongdoing without any interview or serious investigation, and without having tested the offender for intoxication despite suspicions that he had consumed alcohol. Finally, Cheney failed to obtain a required $7 upland game bird hunting stamp.
Obviously, only someone born yesterday would think that local dignitaries would not bend the rules to protect local industries, or that powerful men would never try to hide embarrassing stories from the press. But then again, Dick Cheney hides very little; rather, he has made many of his controversial views very well known. He represents a group that believes homosexuality to be unnatural and immoral, despite the fact that his daughter is a lesbian. He is not afraid to admit that he has considerable stock options in a company that has profited tremendously from the War on Terror. He has made several attempts to overrule Geneva Convention rulings against the use of torture.
That a man who has no qualms about sending hundreds of soldiers to fight in an unpopular war harmed yet another human being is neither shocking nor amusing. It is just another reminder that, at the start of the new millennium, American power continues to stem from the barrel of a smoking gun.
petercurrie
21 February 2006
I am entirely sure that last Hiesday's decision to ban smoking in all enclosed public places was the right decision, and there are various reasons why.
Number one: people may like to ignore this fact, as it is not like pointing a gun at someone's head and pulling the trigger, but the fact remains: smoking kills. Slowly, but surely, exposure to the various and numerous carcinogens contained within tobacco smoke kills people.
Tobacco smoke causes one quarter of all cancers in this country. Why should I have to breath in something that will kill me,
just because the person standing next to me wants to kill themselves?
Ok, ok, this is the point at which you're shouting, "don't stand there then! Go to another bar that doesn't allow smoking! Go home and eat your vegan dinner and stop bothering us vnith your anti-libertarian diatribe!"
To you I say this: what about the person working behind the bar? Every year in this country 600 people die due to breathing in secondhand smoke at work. That's 600 deaths that a unnecessary, unjust and entirely avoidable.
The horrors of passive smoking were bought sharply to the public's attention 12 years ago. I don't know how many of you remember Roy Castle, presenter of Record Breakers for ten years, who died from lung cancer in 1994. He never smoked, but spent much of his youth at a jazz musician playing gigs in smoky clubs. He was a wonderful man, cheerful to the last, and he died because of the smoke he inhaled whilst working.
I have been lucky enough to meet his widow, Fiona, who has, since Roy's death, been campaigning for the banning of smoking in public places. She is quiet and level-headed.
and utterly endearing. Anthony Worrall-Thompson, the fat ginger chef, who is usually a supporter of Cancer Research UK, was stupid enough to go up against her on a debate programme in his capacity as one of the patron's of the pro-smoking group Forest. Who can possibly argue with a woman who lost her husband prematurely because of the evils of secondhand smoke?
The counter argument comes back to that word I am beginning to hate with a passion: choice. We are told that it is a bar worker's choice to work in a smoky environment, that they know the risks and can go work somewhere else if they have a problem with it. This is ridiculous on two fronts. Firstly, passive smoking is a health and safety risk, as is, say, asbestos in the roof of a workplace. If we found asbestos in the ceiling of thelUns, would we be turning round and telling the workers they could go work somewhere else if they had a problem with it? I don't think so.
Secondhand smoke kills an estimated 600 workers a year
beloved Three Hins at weekends. It is very unpleasant to have people stand across the bar and blow smoke in your face, and that's the least of my worries. The second most common cause of asthma attacks at work is breathing in other people's smoke. And, as I believe I have already mentioned, it could lead to my untimely death from any one of the many diseases caused by smoking.
During the debate in the Commons about the Health Bill last week, Lembit Opik MP told the house that he felt proper ventilation was the real answer, a 'forth way' as he described it. This was true, he said, because manufacturers of the ventilations systems have given him a demonstration and it seemed to work. Unfortunately, he had failed to look into the evidence on this in any depth and realise that ventilation doesn't work, and that it is entirely farcical to imagine that any system of ventilation can take the smoke from the air before it gets to the lungs of a person sitting three feet away from you. Quite simply, it would take the winds created by a jumbo jet to remove the carcinogens from the air in a pub before they have a chance to harm anyone.
Evidence from the countries that have already gone smoke-free show that there is no loss in profit for the hospitality industry, smokers are not driven into the home to smoke in front of their kids, and smoking prevalence goes down by aroimd three percent.
Secondly, to imply that all workers have the power to just up and leave if they don't like their job is a ridiculously middle-class
assumption. A single mum, who leaves her kids with their Gran in the evening to go work in the local pub, can hardly be said to be faced with a wealth of alternative career opportunities. More relevant to us lot is the fact that a hell of a lot of students must work their way through University, given the ridiculously increased cost of studying, and most of us end up as bar workers.
I've worked in bars, during summer holidays to get money together, and even in our
We should move to remove smoking from the enclosed places on our campus now. There is no reason why we should wait until the new law comes into force in 2007. Let's prove our co.mmitment to social justice and the health of the people who work in our bar. Let's do it now.
ElaineLondesborough
worKer
ane Non-smoker For the ban
'A lot of my friends get put off from going into pubs because of smoking, it social exclusion"
CANCER RESEARCH UK
Elspeth Lee, Tobacco Control Manager at Cancer Research UK speaks exclusively to PartB
We have known since the 1950s that smoking causes lung cancer. But we have also known since the early 1980s that exposure to other people's smoke increases your risk of lung cancer by about a quarter and heart disease by the same degree. Many thousands of people are exposed to its 4000 poisons -which include arsenic, benzene and formaldehyde - in their workplace.
I do not doubt that those opposed to comprehensive legislation, including the tobacco
industry and linked organizations, have suggested that ventilation systems are the answer or that clubs are 'private spaces'. But the reality is ventilation provides a false sense of security since no system on the market can remove the invisible but lethal gases that smoke contains.
Equally, every type of pub and members' club - whether a working man's club, a political club, or a cricket club - has staff who deserve as safe a working environment as all other workers. The idea that smoke is somehow less dangerous in certain enclosed environments is not just illogical but dangerous: secondhand smoke kills an estimated 600 workers a year in the UK. We can no longer continue to regard a smoky atmosphere as an inevitable 'part of the fabric' in some venues when this
is resulting in death and disease. As the Joint Commons and Lords Committee on Human Rights recently reported, any exemptions to this legislation would be a breach of human rights.
The people of the Republic of Ireland have adopted the measure wholeheartedly since it was introduced in March 2004 (with almost all venues compliant at one year and many smokers having used it as an opportunity to quit); Scotland will enact similar legislation on March 26 this year, and Wales and Northern Ireland will also do so in due
Smokers do have the right to smoke. But not at the expense of bar workers' health.
Yniii' Choict
Secondhand smoke kills

r. f
21 February 2006

WHBN TIHE LAW THEimiNlS, m THE
INtTO BFFECT.
ALL
TWO YEARS TIME. W8LL BE BANNED H WHETHEIR THE
ril
mm

James Carr, bar worker/wrcstlc Occasional smoker Against the ban
"A while ago smoking was allowe'd on the tube. Interesting to see whether next generation will think of smoking in the pub was a strange concept"
Smoking ban campaigners got the best] Valentine's Day present from the Commons. As they open champagne bot^ pies and begin to celebrate, I light up to con^ [template one of the greatest civil liberty losse^ |of our time.
I am not against the ban because I am smoker; I oppose it because I believe in liberty.l lost civil liberties won in the last century are now universally accepted. But Labour no [longer thinks that freedom is important: fror ^sbos to ID cards to banning smoking in closed public places they are imposing central] control over yet another aspect of everyday [life.
Smoking is a part of British culture, it not[ lonly inspired, but also turned many artists[ |away from drugs. I wonder, if modem culture vould have ever emerged as it is without the 3eatles and Oasis. Or imagine you didn't see < single fan at Moonraker's holding a cigarette.! Vs much it hurts me to see young teenage girlsf llighting up behind the estate, smoking has Ibeen and will always be cool (pictures below).| iMaking smoking illegal is not an option is the Iforeseeable future.
But the fact of the matter is - smoking Ikills. So does drinking and obesity. We choose ¦to do all of these, but to say that only smoking Iharms other people is nonsensical. Hundreds[ lof women are being beaten and killed by theiJ Idrunk husbands every year and millions of[ Ichildren are over-weight partly because their Iparents have an appalling diet. We do not ban Idrinking or eating or swearing and blasphemy Ifor that matter. If the government takes the ¦stand to limit the liberties of the quarter of the ¦adult population to favour the other, it is a| Ihypocrisy to allow pubs to be open 24 hoursl land ban smoking. Consistency has never been| |New Labour's strongpoint.
This is all a matter of principle, but is there lis practical way to avoid the deaths of 600|
vorkers caused by smoking? Airports provide brilliant solution. A ten by ten foot standing only area surrounded by noisy air-condition-| ers, foggy with smoke, full of filthy, tall ash-! Itrays.You have to be dedicated to nicotine and Itar, if you attend one of these. They are entire-l fly independent of constant cleaning and the noise of the air-cons lets barely any smoke escape. No one gets harmed, apart from the people who choose to be inside. Most impor-[ [tantly the civil liberties are retained.
When I smoke, I don't want to harm any-[ 3ody. I should not have started and I mighu even want to quit now. Several things will help ne quit - pricier Camels, pictures of cancerous[ [lungs on the packet and a bit of advice. At the noment I can support my habit with a student! [loan or trips to France and warning labels] nake me laugh on the whole. Though practice shows that a large number of people will quit[ Decause of the social implications of the ban, iti [is a not a long-term solution. If the NHS doesJ n't want to be spending £2bn on smoking^ [related diseases, it should do everything to prevent teenagers from taking up. After the ^^alentine's Day decision the government will] lose £1.14bn in revenue, expecting only around |10% of smokers to quit. Could this money not| De better spend to educate children, especially [from poorest social groups, about the dangersl ¦of smoking? So much to 'education, education,] education'.
Anyone should be allowed to work in safe conditions and we should not allow 600 work-j ers to die through passive smoking every year.l Ve would remove asbestos in the ceiling,! aecause that is a reasonable thing to do but isl
5.	"
lit reasonable to remove customers? It is sensi-l 3le to subsidise pubs to create small, filthy,| closed smoking areas, which would put people off smoking and protect the workforce.
The government has good intentions on the vhole, but it does use ridiculous argument to push for reforms. Here is an example. We arel [told that the smoking ban in offices increased productivity. It does make sense in a way: less lays are missed through better health. But[ [think about another way: how longer does one spend getting out of the building to have a| juick cigarette and come back? It turns out[^ productivity actually falls.
Smoking is disgusting. But restricting the [freedoms of an enormous group is undemocra-[tic and even more disgusting; there are better] vays to solve the real problem of young smok-^ ers. The airport solution is not unreasonable, it] vill prove democracy, save lives and encourage nore people to quit giving them a choice to ^moke - only in a very unpleasant environ-] nent. Smoking is a private act of satisfaction and should be kept private. We banned publicj exposure, but allowed sex-shops, so why bar bmoking in places most visited by the British? I
alexteytelboyml

m



kKi-.
Racism and homophobia. This year's Best Picture frontrunners are unusually controversial, crashing down barriers and redefining boundaries. This week's special Academy Awards issue features reviews of Crash and Brokeback Mountain.
T'.yit of my f;ivoui i!i:' fiiiiis this year are both musica! dramas: Wiilk Ihf Line and Hd-s/Zc & / Flmr. Althciuyli Htisilc & I'low is t'it'litious. it f y i^asc'd on llic 'do it yuursolf ucstlK'tic' uiiicli was ( ^ pionccied i)y Sam Philips, who was Johnny Cash's 1 nuisic produet'i'. Htixtlc & FUnc was in fact d(*dicat-\ I'd to Sam Philips, whose approach inspired Criiigl* Brewer to write and direct this film. It emulates this approach in an entirely different setting, and in a \ completely different musical genre. Both	J
characters live in Memphis.Tennessee and are born into extnntic poverty. Noncthoiess, thoy both derive Inspiration from theii' loved ones", f 'f and develop the ability to sublimate their feelings of anguish and despondency thruiigh music. Both films are inspirational tales about uiidj?rdugs who resolve their exiiitential crisis by essentially pursuing what they loi'e. I and using that as a source of meaning. •
lather than allowinfj themselves to be/j^ . defined by the conditions in which they
.Ioa(|uiii I'hoeni.x and Terence Howard
are frontrunners in the race for Best Actor.
and both of them deser\-e the critical ff /
acclaim which they have been awarded. /
They both did their own sinking and /'
rapping, which, by the way. sounded V'
phenomenal on both accounts.
This is a break-out year for T<'rence Howard, an actor who has actually been around for years, hiding in -:hudow>. He has demon.<trat-ed his diversity as an actor by portraying a posh \
. and cowardly film director in CrriKlt- Mis ro!e as a pimp and drug dealer in HusiU' & FUnr was an |fe ^ incredible departure from Crash. He lived in |»^/' Memphis for months preparing ,'or his role, and jV apparently conversed with over .'lOO pimps prior to filming, tluslk' ct- Floir also claimed a nomina'ion for PS best song, cntitli'd 'It's Marcl out Here for a I'inip'. ^	The biggest snub of the year was David
Cronenherg's .4 tlistory ol Vioh-aix', which was h'H- of
[my favourite pictures antl should have been nomi-1^ nated for Best Picture. Maria Hello also should ^ have been nominated for her outstanding per-formance. This is a gripping thriller, about \'iolence see|)ing into a tamily from I'very direction, as though :t were impossible to con-tain. Violence occurs in the family and .-ichool. H which represents a microcosm for violence on jV a much lafger scale; it begin.^ to satur.-ite an M entij'e culture.
^ It is an absolute} travesty thai Iron & Wine wasn't nominated 'n the Best Original Song H categor\- for his nostalgic ballad entitled The Trapeze Swinger', which was written lor the Sa film In Goad Compiiny. But hey. at least Kincj Kang didn't get any .serious nominalions. That V makes me happy. It's good to see that inde-pendent films, with infinitly smaller budg-ets. are being ap|)recialed liy the film com-I ''""T munity and Ijy mainstream audiences ' around the world. Whoop that trick.
!V	cciieycohen
amketack Mot Ca^ie Cfssii
Goodn^t and Goodfuck Miri^ch
Actorin
Brokeback f-Aountain - Jake Cinderella Man - Paul Giamad Crash - Matt DiJIon^ » * A History of J-oience - WiiHSPi Syriana - George Clooney
Each year, apart from holiday hangovers and relief after weeks spent with all sorts of uncles, aunties and other family members who we are glad to see, can never see enough of, are happy to leave, January brings new resolutions to break, the promise of a great new things and nothing more exciting than the buzz around the entertainment community brought about by Oscar fever. This year the nominations of the Academy of Motion Pictures were read out on 31 January, giving rise, as always, to the eager anticipation of the entertainment community and film fans all over the world, which always comes to a crescendo at the handing out ceremony which, this year, will be held in March. The handing out ceremony of the now famous golden statuettes has become the Academy of Motion Picture, Arts and Sciences' most celebrated occasion, and quite probably the only reason the public remains aware of the Academy's existence.
Contrary to popular belief, the Academy does not exist solely for the purpose of the awards; it conducts a year-round series of events and activities, including a wide-ranging cultural and educational agenda, made possible by funds and awareness raised by the Academy Awards ceremony.
The first awards presentation took place on 16 May 1929, when movies had only just began to be made with sync sound. The first award went to Emil Jannings, who won best actor for his roles in The Last Command and The Way of All Flesh. The original ceremony was not characterised by the suspense which is now present in the awards. In fact, Jennings took his award early before the actual event, as he wanted to return to Europe before the day of the handing out ceremony, to which the Academy agreed. The first ceremony, held at the Blossom Room of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, was attended by more than 270 people and was free for members, while guests' tickets cost a mere $5. The winners were known prior to the awards, with the names being given to newspapers for publishing at 11pm the
night of the ceremony. In 1940, however, guests arriving for the ceremony could buy the 8:45 edition of the LA Times, which already had the names of the winners printed. It wasn't until the next year that the sealed envelope system started.
Another popular belief (that for me, was quashed in 2003 at my first-ever Tribeca Film Festival, where I met Alfre Woodard, who informed me that she was a voting member of the Motion Picture Academy) is that the Academy consists of a small elite group of extremely elderly white-haired Jewish men, who have been a part of the secret organisation since its inception. In fact, the voting membership of the Academy awards consists of over 5800 members, who vote in secret by post. None but two senior partners of Price"WaterHouseCooper hired since 1935 to tabulate the results, know the contents of the envelopes until they are opened during the presentation ceremony.
The first ceremony only recognised 15 categories, all awarded to men except one which went to Janet Gaynor. Enthusiasm for the awards ran high from the beginning, and an LA radio station covered the ceremony live for one hour. The awards^ have engaged broadcast coverage since. They were first televised on 19 March 1953, but it wasn't until 1966 before they were first broadcast in color. Bob Hope, a renowned American journalist, was MC for the 25th annual ceremony, which was the first live broadcast carried by NBC television. Hattie McDaniel was the first ever African American to be awarded an Oscar for her supporting role in Gone with the Wind with James Baskett receiving an Honorary Award the same year for his characterisation of Uncle Remus in Song of the South. Sidney Poitier was the first ever African American nomination for an award for actor in a leading role, in 1958, for his role in The Defiant Ones, winning later in 1963 for his role in Lilies of the Field. Dorothy Dandridge was the first African American female to be nominated in the Best Actress,
category, but it wasn't until 2001, that an African
American woman picked up a statuette for a leading role, when Halle Berry won for her part in Monster's Ball.
karanjagacuca
¥
ary 2006
Best
Bmkeback Mountain - Ang Lee, Capote - Bennett Crash - Paul Haggis d Night, and Good Luck - George Clooney Munich - Steven Spielberg
Actress in a Leading Role
Mrs. Henderson Presents - Judi Dench ¦	North Country - Ohafi^ze Jheron
Pride & Pre^ice - Keira Kfiightiey rca/?saflw/c3 - Felici^ Huffman f ; ; ¦ Walk the Line - Reese VyWierspoon
Best Supporting Actress
Brokeback Mountain - Michelle Williams Capote • Catherine Keener The Cortstant Gardener - Rachel Weisz Junebug - Amy Adams North Country - Frances McDormand
It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In LA, nobody touches you. We 're always, behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we j crash into each other, just so we can feel something...
Crash is the directorial debut of the Oscar-awarded Canadian scriptwriter and producer of Million Dollar Baby, Paul Haggis. The movie progresses through the space shaped by movies such as Grand Canyon, Short Cuts and Magnolia, where superficially unrelated urban stories form a shaded mosaic that unveils the true faces under the facades.
An impressive ensemble cast (most notably Sandra Bullock, Ryan Philippe, Matt Dillon, Terence Howard, Thandie Newton and Don Cheadle) lends strong character to a cultural cross-section of Los Angeles denizens who are connected to each other through crime, corruption, obligation, indignation and chance over a two-day period An African American LAPD detective who seeks his lost brother, a racist white policeman who looks after his ill father, a Hispanic locksmith who just wants safety for his young daughter, an Iranian shop-owner who sees his fortune being vandalised, two carjackers, a district attorney and his non-satiated wife, will see their!
lives meet and crash into each other.
Racism and prejudice, love and hate, cause and causality, luck and fate and tragedy and catharsis are the main elements that stir the dramatic plot. T h emotional complexity and intricate, intimate narrative of these stories defy simple summary, but suffice it to say Paul Haggis lays bare many social and psychological issues that generally get swept under the rug of American consciousness. The film not only conjures up racially charged confrontations but also shows almost subliminally how passive prejudice and pre-conceived notions are often prevalent in simple everyday life.
While covering a multitude of arguments and ideas Haggis' theme for Crash centres on the thought of faulty human communication; the film suggests that people have grown cold to affection and respect, instead immediately using hatred and paranoia as a way of communicating with their fellow man, almost always with disastrous consequences.
Crash isn't a simple film to digest, and with its uncomfortable ideas of intolerance and resentment it also won't be a film completely accepted either. Nevertheless, it leaves you with a sweet melancholy that makes your journey back home full with complex thoughts, hidden tears and shy smiles.
konstantinosdimaresis I
I

K
vhen

T'r.o mt-Hiia koops	it as the tiiifiT
Giii.e W'itli the Wind, tho Wostoni that [)uts the 'pi)ko' in cowpokc. Di'spito bcuijj nominated lor a myriad ol t'ihn awards. Uiclucling I'iuht Oscar nomuiatinns, is Broki'back Mountci : really mure than just that?
Poitjnantly to'.d and beuutiftiily shot ajiainst tile sweeping and dramatic vistas d! Wy.i:;-.:;',; and Texas, the film adai)lali(in nf .\nnio I'roulx's 1997 tragic romance te'ls o: ranch hand Ennis Del Mar illeath Kedgori and riidei) cowboy Jack Twist (.hike (tvllciihaal) who meet in the summer of 19GH while driving cattle on a mountain range. The young men forge the camaraderie of isolated men. but their relationship turns into sometliing mori> intense. Tliey remain in contact over two decades, despite leading separate lives with their wives, children and lovers. Confused at first about their affection for each othen and later engaged in a constant battle for social acceptance whilst also struggling witli their own demons, the men continut> to k(>ep up appearances as fishing buddies, meeting a ft^w times o\'er each vear, as they journey thi'ougli lives never fiiifilied. often conflicted, yot alwa>'s drawn together.
Ang Leo's iilm is hauntingly beaut;nil. The spectacular setting of mountains, forests and lakes transforms Proi.lx's terse prose into poignant visual poetn. Tlie beauty and terror of the expansive and isolated landscape mimn'S the peaks and troughs
central t<i b'linis anci Jack s secret an-,; sonie-t;]':''.es \ ;oli nl u iaHonsiiip. And the score by (iuslavo Santaolalla iufits the ambiarce perfectly without hei-ig intrusive. The tragedy at the hear! of the I'ilm is ¦.iiiiveisal. It is reminiscent ol the fate or all socially tabooed 'elanonships. However, liirectcr Ang Lee is careful not to eclipse Jack and Ennis' stoi-y with a highiaiutin greater meaning. The niovie wisely avoids stepping back to sliow us the 'bigger picture' tt> deliver 'the message.' It sta\'>^ ir. close-up, coaxing amliesices te" walk s<>veral Ivamin'd miU's in its characters'shoes, luring us with the scent of lorbitklen fruit. We Ix-eome emotionally involvx-d with the pii'lagonists, as their lives intertwine dui rng their secrct reunions on Bnikcbuck Muunmhi. ami then unravel again when tiiey part ways.
There has been a great hitilahaloo about the ailege<lly explicit love scenes in the movie. The sex can be described, at best, in the words ol tiie producer .lames Schauius. as being 'modest' and "old-ia.shio!ut!.'Whilst their meetings atv eeilainly passionate tone eye oi)e!ier is tise kissing scene wlien Jack comes to visit Ennis for the first timi' after theii' summer on Brokeback), tiu' si>xual content is far from vulgar. B'.n apparently it is like nothing in a major American movie to date. Not to worry though, in a nod to our uncomfortable straigiit male viewei's. the movie also includes a nude frontal by Anne Hathaway a.k.a. the princess from The Pri!ire.-<s Diarw.-i.
li..' t;!ni wi\ rs Its emotions on it--sleeve. This has left it vulnerable to cruel oversiini)lificat:ons oi its content. Wh;!e tile central themes do include a homosexual one. the stoi'y has a much broatlcr sciipe. It deaiylhoiogises the stermtyin'Western; it identifies a subver sive se-\uai honesty in an unexpoctetl locale; it highlights the ^ll'uggle (or sitcial acceptance, the i-normity iif comnhlment and the power and eiuhirancc of love. I'urthermotf, by soeniingly ivnouncing inert |)oliUcs. it makes a case for tolerance and uiidi'i'standing far more effectively than a film with a more direct agend;i.The movie is worth consitlfiatioh, if not for the above, then if»' lleaUl Ledger's moving (certainly Osc^r-worthv) pcrfoiTiance as a di-spuiring man done i l>y time and circumslanec. Indeed Brokeback Mwiniai i could have told t same story and not necessarily have lieen a great movie. If could have bwn a quixotic uteUidrama replete with clielivd dialogtie lewd cowboy on cowboy action and tri'i? postcard prettiness; it could hav^L.be^aa gay cowboy movie. But its not: it hits lifo' a^shot in the heart.	__
anjicii'rctibarlas/'^	,
B
8
21 February 2006
soastan'

On the eve of an Astoria show with The Bravery and The Morning After Girls, Michael Jurin of stellastarr* explains why aesthetics count in art school
Did you see The Killers before they became massively successful? If so, you may have caught them opening for New York-based band stellastarr*. Following up on the success of previous UK gigs including several this past December, the band has returned to promote their new album Harmonies for the Haunted. PartB called lead guitarist Michael Jurin at his Brooklyn apartment and discussed his artistic influences, 'Bloated Wife Records' and colour-themed shows.
Before Jurin came into the picture, Shawn Christensen (vocals), Amanda Tannen (bass) and Authur Kremer (percussion) were art students at the prestigious Pratt Institute in New York City. Despite other interests and talents including fine art and acting, the three experimented with musical collaboration. In March 2000, Jurin, a recent arts graduate from Temple University in Philadelphia, met the group through his new roommate in New York. After some unsatisfying auditions for female singers, the task was simply delegated to Christensen, and the stellastarr* lineup was complete.
According to Jurin, the band 'tries their best to avoid' allegiance to any particular genre. However, having been compared favourably to bands like The Pixies, Talking Heads and (more obviously) The Cure for their 'arty and theatrical' style, it's not surprising that the members' taste and artistic background played an important role in
r_E
I.....i*.
their development as musicians.
When asked under the nicely phrased guise of 'influences' about their similarities to The Cure, Jurin contends that the other members of the band are not necessarily Cure fans, and that their sound is more accurately the culmination of wide and varied musical backgrounds. Cure fans or not, the fact remains that stellastar* have done nothing but impress ever since the release of their self-titled EP in 2003 and their earlier DIY and small label releases. The remarkable aspect of the band is that their sound seemed sophisticated and developed from the start; a
quality typically achieved by bands after some history and experience together. In this respect. Harmonies for the Haunted doesn't disappoint. Jurin explains that even though the band is perpetually developing, they were 'looking inward' while recording the album On the subject of releases, the discussion turns to 'Bloated Wife Records.' Originally a love song, 'Bloated Wife' was one of their earliest recordings, and back in the days of stellastarr* self promotion, the band released a demo under that name. After some successful New York City gigs, the band was then picked up by local label
TISWAS, and remained there until ultimately signing with RCA in 2003. When asked about the switch, Jurin recalls how the band was speaking to a few different major labels at the time, but RCA had a 'humanistic side' and 'seemed to have the right approach' towards the band and their direction. The label represents fewer artists and therefore has more resources to enable the growth of each individual group.
This support has had positive effects on stellastarr*. Armed with a new website as well as a professional video for 'Sweet Troubled Soul', the band seems well poised to make the transition from underground secret to commercial success. The rapid growth of their fan base in America and the UK is a far cry from the intimate colour-themed shows they played when starting out in New York. While expressing gratitude towards stellastarr* fans, Jurin remembers how when trying to create an image, the band members decided to wear white for a particular show. When white clothing didn't hold up to cramped sweaty venues and hot lights, stellastarr* chose a different colour. Word got out about what colour the band would be wearing at each upcoming gig and fans showed support by wearing that same colour as well.
Why, you ask, did the colour themes stop? Apparently, the band ran out of colours.
Art school kids. Go figure.
JDOlaRiP
Legendary hip-hop producer J Dilla (a.k.a. Jay Dee) passed away on Friday 10 February after battling an incurable blood disease for three years. He leaves behind a huge body of work that spans both rapping and production. He will be sorely missed throughout the hip-hop world for his unique approach to music.
Dilla rose to prominence in the mid-90s as one half of A Tribe Called Quest's production team, The Umah. His old-school, bass-heavy approach to production caught the attention of many and lead to employment behind the decks for Common and De La Soul. What made Dilla stand out from the hundreds of producers in the industiy were his unbelievable drums; his beats were so damn funky and soulful that even Kanye West once said that they "could never be topped.'
A post-1999 Dilla released two albums with his group Slum Village, a solo album {Welcome To Detroit) and a collaboration with kindred spirit Madlib (Champion Sound) and continued to produce for other artists. Three days before his death. Stones Throw Records released his second solo album Donuts, his most definitive album and a fitting bookend to a life lived in music.
Live Review
Who: The Rakes When: 2 February 2006 Where: London Astoria
Having arrived too late to catch Duels' set, I forced my way into the jammed Astoria and encountered a motley crowd and an indescribably arrogant display from White Rose Movement frontman Finn ¦Wne, a tall, lithe and iiber-cool character animalistical-ly creeping across the stage like an 80s fashion icon. As intense as Timmy Mallett t-shirts, the glam White Rose Movement have obviously clawed a huge chunk of musical inspiration from the seditious 80s era and named themselves after the strong Resistance which apparently stood up against the Nazi regime. Although not really standing out from a crowd of Saint Martins College graduates, sexy, urgent synth pop was there to be enjoyed by aU.
Next on were The Rakes, part of the new wave of post-punk and Brit-pop. Bashful bassist and sprightly lead singer Alan Donohue sported the 'geek-chic' look moulded by Blur's Alex James and my future husband, Jarvis Cocker. Reminiscent of Morrissey's gloom and Joy Division's delicate paranoia. The Rakes attempted to speak of the darker side of human existence and the trials and tribulations of modem life. Yet they do not reach out to common people, oh no. Their music is for young professionals who are apparently having a terrible time. Unfortunately, the band failed to deliver their reflections with the same wit and potency as their predecessors or even current offerings from the likes of the humorous Art Brut. Their tracks at times share the same monotony as the nature of modern life that they seem to be so preoccupied with. It's not some ironic intension either.
'22 Grand Job' was obviously the track that stood out in an above-average and fairly tight set which did get me toe-tapping at times, but mostly because the music is infectious and talks about, well, the mediocrity of having a £22,000 job and wanting more dosh. That's something the majority of their insatiable London fan base relates to. 'Work, Work, Work (Pub Club Sleep)' seemed also to reach out to similar, materialistic Mockney admirers who had just been to the local Wetherspoons to 'rough it' but could only manage two glasses of Merlot as they had to get up early the next day.
I conclude with great regret that, with this gig in mind. The Rakes set can hardly be the 'pub crawl soundtrack' it has been said to be; from a band who admirably tried to say something about what they thought of life but simply failed to do the thinking.
claremackle
21 February 2006
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Charles Angiama plays the Moor Othello, a gifted general commissioned to confront a Hirkish army at Cyprus accompanied by his two right-hand men: the naive Cassio (pretty-boy Alex Trippier) and lago (Christian Olliver). However, for reasons that are never fully explained, lago is not the faithful retainer Othello believes him to be. In fact, hatred bubbles just beneath lago's cool, rational exterior, and he has put a plan into action by which he intends to cause Othello's downfall and shatter the relationship between the Moor and his devoted new wife, Desdemona (fresh-faced Stephanie Richards).
Though the focus of the play is the tragic hero Othello and his tragic flaw of all-consum-ing jealousy, much of the play's action and appeal seems dependent upon lago, who sets out to exploit this tragic flaw with his complex scheme. Skilful actors playing lago manage to lend him a certain attractiveness. The young Ian McKellen or even Kenneth Branagh were able to perfectly capture lago's simultaneous chilling rationality and seductive charm, drawing the audience into his plot as an accomplice through acerbic asides. Whilst it would be unfair to expect Christian Olliver's performance to rival those of theatrical legends, he lacks the self-assurance needed to play a villain as coolly dastardly as lago. Whilst the lean McKellen sniped and slithered, Olliver grace-lessly galumphs about the stage, stumbling over lago's soliloquies, all the while perspiring profusely. Where McKellen hissed, Olliver bellows. Where McKellen sneered, Olliver grimaces. It isn't a particularly inspiring performance.
Charles Angiama's Othello is better. With his powerful bass of a voice, he does angry and bestial fairly well but where his performance is most rich and full of nuance is during some of
The new production of Othello seems remote, amateurish and more appropriate as a learning tool for sixth formers studying the text
Othello's more restrained moments. Pretty Stephanie Richards lends Desdemona the right mixture of innocence and sultrines - though she becomes so gratingly shrill towards the end that it is almost a relief to witness her sticky demise.
The supporting actors are mostly forgettable but Melissa Franklin as Emilia, lago's long-suffering wife, is excellent: poised and dignified when silenced, raw and defiant at the finale. Josephine Short playing both Brabantio and Bianca, the village tart, manages to unwittingly amuse whichever role she is playing. As the former, she pulls the most ridiculous array of facial expressions and as the latter, someone should inform her that unkempt hair and a perpetually drooping bra strap do not magically a strumpet make.
Direction and artistic design are lacklustre. The actors appear to have been instructed to shout their lines at a deafening roar, which does not lend well to the acoustics of the small theatre. As for the lighting, subtlety does not appear to be a concept favoured by the director: anger is conveyed by crudely flooding the stage with red light. To denote sinister behaviour, the torches held under chins make an unwelcome appearance. The setting seems confused; whilst costume and set design are appropriately timeless, the characters drink vodka, use remote controls and what sounded like the theme tune from The Crystal Maze is jarringly used as the soundtrack between scenes.
It is not entirely clear what Mark Oldknow wanted to achieve with this production of Othello. If his goal were to put on pedestrian Shakespeare adaptations to be used as a learning tool for sixth formers studying the text, he has succeeded. Otherwise, this seems a remote, amateurish production.
Ijlhuank in the Low Season^
The weather will be cold and snowy. You will probably be the only tourist there,
But outside the peak season, Lithuania seems even more beautiful and appealing,
t: ¦ ¦ " ......................................
¦f you buy a cheap Ryanair flight to Lithuania, you will land in Kaunas. I suppose in terms of relative status .Kaunas is to Vilnius as Birmingham is to London. The expectation is that your average tourist will jump on a bus

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to the capital immediately, without giving Lithuania's second city a chance. But in fact, Kaunas is seriously underrated, even in, or perhaps especially in, the low season. My travelling companion and I spent most of our December trip in Kaunas, heading to Vilnius for an overnight, but soon feeling the inexplicable pull of the small town which felt surprisingly homely in comparison. So we returned to Kaunas for the remainder of the trip.
The main deterrent to booking a flight when it is cheapest is that you would be in Lithuania when temperatures are pretty much guaranteed to be somewhere between four degrees and well below zero. The worst we had to brave was minus six degrees one windy night. But to be honest, it did not seem that bad. Kaunas looked beautiful in the snow, and a steady supply of vodka combined with multiple layers helped us keep warm.
Another bonus of the off season is that everything stays open, and there is a surprising range of things to do in Kaunas. The best hidden gem, in my opinion, was the Devil Museum (V. Putvinskio); a vast array of over 2000 masks and sculptures of Satan in various gmses, and all part of the personal collection of the rather eccentric artist Antanas Zmuidzinavicius. The collection is huge, lovingly preserved, and stays open all day despite receiving few visitors at the time of year we were there.
Other museums in Kaunas include The Museimi of Deportations and Resistance, the Folk Music Museum, the Museum of the Histoid of Lithuanian Medicine and Pharmacy, and the Jewellery Museum. There are also several art galleries, and, like much of Eastern Europe, stunning churches everywhere you look.
The Zoological Garden (Radvilenu PI.) claims to house 270 species from around the world in a beautiful park setting. The reality is actually grim beyond belief, and although admittedly it was cold, dark and gloomy when we were there, I don't think that the conditions the animals were kept in varies depending on the season. Perhaps it should have occurred to me that eastern European zoos are probably not destined to be full of happy animals, but my advice would be to avoid this one like the plague.
However, the park we passed through on the way to the zoo was beautiful in a bleak kind of way. The naked trees and thick blanket of snow made it look like a cliched Christmas card, and the large sculpted bull we came across
in a clearing was a welcome surprise.
When you get sick of being a culture vulture, Kaunas has plenty of cosy bars where you can kick your heels. Most of them can be found along the pedestrianised main drag, Laisves Avenue, which connects the old and new parts of the city. You can stuff yourself with stodgy and delicious Lithuanian food for very little money. Local dishes include fried potato pancakes with creamy mushroom sauce, and hot chocolate which is literally just melted chocolate in a glass. Don't expect to be able to eat healthily here; even the salad comes drenched in mayonnaise.
We even found some well-concealed nightlife. We were pretty much the only tourists in Kaunas that week, if the surprise of the tourist information staff was anything to go by (and I quote: 'but what are you doing here?'), but we managed to find where the locals hang out during evenings. There was a pizza parlour which was transformed into a club at night, which seemed to be the place to be. We also made an ill-conceived foray into what turned out to be a seedy strip joint. We left pretty damn quickly.
One thing I did learn was that I should have been practising my Lithuanian long before we left, as very few people speak English in Kaunas, and not all restaurants have English menus either. It pays to be able to speak a little.
If you only have a few days and you'd rather meet locals than other tourists, stay in Kaunas and explore it in depth. Vilnius is a stunning city with more attractions, but personally I felt there was just something about Kaunas, especially in the snow. If you want a bargain trip, go at the coldest time of year, but make sure you pack your woolly hat and a Lithuanian phrasebook.
hannahsmith
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10
21 February 2006
Enjoy lunch at Desperados, the Tex-Mex restaurant where Islington's fanned Granita restaurant once stood
I chose Desperados, which resides at 127 Upper Street in Islington, for lunch one cold Saturday for two reasons. Firstly, because it has acquired a reputation for fabulous Tex-Mex cuisine at prices below most of Islington's other eateries. Secondly, political junkie that I am, I wanted to eat at the spot where, nearly twelve years ago, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown (allegedly) came to their famed agreement about who would lead the Labour Party. Back then, 127 Upper Street was flash Italian eatery Granita, and quite why it closed down is anyone's guess. However, the important thing is that it has acquired a worthy successor which I would wholeheartedly recommend.
One thing Desperados is not shy about is its cultural affiliation; boots, lassoes and even an entire cowhide hang from its colourful walls, but the overall impression is one of real Mexican rather than tackiness. The menu includes 45 cocktails, at least one of which (Mexican Sex Monster) sounds like someone in the Lib Dems' shadow cabinet. However, despite the allure of the aforementioned cocktail, my guests and I chose to enjoy an excellent bottle of Merlot from Chile (although it may actually have been a Carmenere, as Chilean appellations for Merlot are deeply confused) with our meal. Its natural spice was only enhanced by the flavoursome meals we ordered. I began with an enormous rack of ribs, smeared with a sweet and thick sauce and which would frankly have sufficed for a main course had I not been massively hungry. This came in at around £4, with most of the starters not exceeding £6. Although most of the dishes are meat-based, vegetarians are definitely catered for.
Having polished off my ribs, I tucked into a lit-
erally still-cooking plate of beef fajitas, generously served with guacamole, sour cream, peppers and lashings of salad. The chicken variant was also enjoyed by one of my companions, while another had an enormous Cajun chicken burger and a thick, delicious bean-based type of stew. Certainly, it was hard to choose just one main course, there being such an extensive range of delicious-sound-ing meals, including several steaks which topped the price range at up to £13 each. Having extremely friendly, authentically Hispanic staff on hand to advise was certainly a boon, and it was therefore strange that Desperados was half-empty at Saturday lunchtime. Perhaps would-be patrons were waiting for Sunday, which offers a three-course set menu for just £9.95.
Once my companions and I had finished our mains, we were too full for any dessert. We simply had a marvellously strong caffe solo to finish, and our waitress gave us each a refreshing margarita on the house. The total bill for four came to around £80, which is extremely reasonable for Islington and was an accurate reflection of how much we had all enjoyed our time at Desperados.
Even the toilets were probably the cleanest I have ever seen in London (a considerably underused yardstick of restaurant quality), whilst the bar's architecture was such that, I imagine, Friday and Saturday evenings there are on just the right side of intense. Gordon Brown may still be waiting to be PM, but I can think of few better options for him of passing the time until Blair goes than enjoying a great meal at Desperados.
garethrees
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The beautiful Royal Opera House in Covent Garden was the setting for a fantastic four-piece program. Strongly Russian in its style, the evening nevertheless offered a varied and impressive itinerary. Mixed bills are generally not so popular, however the fame of the pieces performed drew in the crowds; the theatre was full, and the atmosphere was expectant.
Having said that, despite the excitement of seeing Darcey Bussell, The Ballet Imperial which opened the evening was a slightly disappointing representation of St Petersburg in the middle and late nineteenth century. Choreographed by George Balanchine (the founder of the New York City Ballet) and with music by Tchaikovsky, this tribute to Marius Petipa, who choreographed such ballets as Swan Lake, Cinderella, The Sleeping Beauty and Don Quixote, was not without its high points. Although uniform blonde wigs worn by the ballerinas destroyed any sense of individuality amongst the dancers, and the principals lacked presence, the originality of a series of pas de deux and pas de trois, and the inventive use of the corps de ballet to offset the principal artists made up for the lack of sparkle in the piece in general. An interval and an over-priced ice cream followed, then back for the next section of the program.
If the Ballet Imperial got the evening off to a slow start, it was definitely worth the wait for what came next. The middle section comprised of two short pieces, each only ten minutes long, which left a lasting impression. The Afternoon of the Faun takes the timeless story of boy meets girl, and presents it in a more contemporary style. In a virginal setting of white silk curtains two dancers alone in a studio glimpse each other in the mirror. The mirror being represented by the audience, this sensu-
al but innocent flirtation involves no eye contact between the two, who instead focus on each others image and movement in the 'mirror'. This fleeting moment of intimacy ends with the girl, startled by a kiss, leaving the room, and the boy returning to his sleep. The purity and simplicity of this piece is touching, and the basic costuming takes no attention away from the two dancers. With music by Claude Debussy and choreography by Jerome Robbins, this piece was sensitively performed by Sarah Lamb and Carlos Acosta, and received a loud reception from the audience.
It was, however, trumped by the Tchaikovsky pas de deux which came next. Another piece choreographed by George Balanchine, it was designed to showcase both 'the man and the woman (an interesting pretext given the tendency for a man to provide a backdrop to the woman's role) and it was flawless. Intricate footwork and delicate strength from Alexandra AnsaaelU, stupendous jumping sequences from Frederico Bonelli who has an energetic and dynamic presence, as well as perfect split-second balances and an effortless ease made this ten minute piece the gem of the evening.
Another interval and an over-priced Coke preceded the final performance of the evening. Firebird is a striking early twentieth century ballet choreographed by Mikhail Fokine with music by Igor Stravinsky. This piece combined the traditional nineteenth century tale of a love affair between a romantic hero and an ethereal heroine, with the developing twentieth century modernism. The story begins when a Prince catches a Firebird, resulting in an extended pas de deux while the bird struggles to escape his grasp. Eventually, the Firebird grudgingly gives the Prince one of her feathers which he can use to summon her if he needs help in order to buy her freedom.
The Firebird is a wonderfully choreographed part, invoking the sense of a bird through brilliant leaps and expressive and arrogant upper body work. This was beautifully performed by Leanne Benjamin who commanded the attention of the audience. The Prince, who frees the bird, wanders around the enchanted forest where he finds a castle, and a group of maidens led by beautiful Tsarevna. It is, like every good story, love at first sight. But when dawn comes, the maidens are forced to return to the castle of the immortal Kostchei, an evil magician. Ignoring Tsarevna's warnings the Prince follows her into the castle where he is met by a fantastic array of weird and wonderful characters in sumptuous costumes, followed by the enraged Kostchei. In a hopeless situation, the Prince invokes the Firebird, who true to her word comes to his aid and forces the inhabitants of the castle to dance until they fall down in exhaustion, A fantastic series of dances orchestrated by the Firebird is visually as well as technically impressive, and is clearly influenced by Russian folk dance. The Prince then finds the box which holds the soul of the immortal Kotschei, and breaks it, freeing the soul, killing Kotschei and restoring his army to their human form. As the music reaches a dramatic climax, the defiant Prince and his beautiful wife are crowned in another theatrically presented scene.
At only £5 for a ticket, it cost less than a cinema ticket and although the view was slightly obstructed (read: a third of the stage not in my view) it is still a self-consciously cultural and enjoyable way to wile away a winter evening. So do something different and experience a night of fantastic music, costumes and dance at the Royal Ballet.
danyates
21 February 2006
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Hunter S. Thompson
One year ago yesterday. Hunter Thompson sat in the kitchen of his 'fortified compound' at Owl Farm in Woody Creel<, Aspen. He held a .357 handgun to his head and ended a life that had spawned the Gonzo Journalism classic Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
A lot can change in a year. Twelve months ago Pope John Paul II was still happily popeing around, part-time horse impersonator and full-time home wrecker Camilla Parker Bowles was preparing herself to marry into our glorious monarchy and I was living in a hut in the vast, desert-like stretch of land that surrounds the remote Indian town of Lucknow. The only means I had of keeping tabs on Prince Charlie's equestrian pursuits or surveying the spread-betting on the date and time of JP's demise was scalpeled from The Hindustan Times, a decent and upstanding publication with many fine English-language articles and an unintentionally hilarious section in which desperate parents seek spouses for their children. However, this is certainly not the time or place or page in which to discuss the merits or otherwise of arranged marriages, as it was on this date, exactly a year ago, that The Hindustan Times brought me news of the death of Hunter S. Thompson. He had, the Times informed me, put a gun into his own mouth and ended a life that had brought him literary notoriety as well as a reputation for personal excess, no-holds-barred journalism and fire-and-brimstone prose.
The front page of the paper carried the quotation 'The best fiction is far more true than any kind of journalism.' It was wrongly attributed to Thompson, the words in fact first being written by William Faulkner, but they were often cited by Thompson and influenced the genre of writing which he carved out alone. He called it 'Gonzo,' a form of journalism where the writer not only brings their own experiences and opinions into the writing, but also becomes the protagonist. Hunter Thompson didn't simply report the story. He was the story.
This is a man whose ashes, six months later, were loaded into huge flares and fired, along with enough fireworks to celebrate every Guy I^wke's night for the rest of the decade, out of a cannon that was taller than a 150-foot tower and shaped like a fist with two thumbs clutching a peyote button: a hallucinogenic cactus native to the southwestern United States.
It's a horrifically pathetic cliche to say something along the lines of 'if you looked up crazy in the dictionary, his picture would be there' but his picture and biography actually appeared in text books about manic compulsives. He was a. maverick, a dangerous lunatic and in my opinion at least, the best thing to happen to the written word since cavemen first took up pointy sticks and carved crude approximations of their grunts into the earth.
He first rose to infamy in 1966 when he established himself as a journalist who was not constrained by ordinary boundaries by riding with Hell's Angels in San BYancisco, imbibing gallons of alcohol, guzzling prescription drugs and LSD and eventually getting his face pounded into the asphalt. Then writing a book about it.
The success of the Hell's Angels project secured him work with a number of American magazines where he began to hone his trademark style. The most high profile of these was Rolling Stone, who serialised his most famous work. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in 1971. Starting life when Sports Illustrated gave him the chance to travel to Las Vegas to cover the Mint 400 motorcycle race, Thompson hit the road with Chicano lawyer Oscar Zeta Acosta and a veritable pharmacy of illegal narcotics alongside him in a huge red convertible. The 'mean gibberish' he sent back transformed from race coverage into a

'Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream' and was predictably refused out of hand by Sports Illustrated. Rolling Stone was more accommodating and the book went on to critical and commercial success.
Fear and Loathing, like all Thompson's 'Gonzo' work, blurs the lines between fiction and journalism, but as Thompson himself said 'only a goddamn lunatic would write a thing like this and claim it was true.' As such, identities are always thinly but necessarily masked. Thompson becomes Raoul Duke, an alter ego he used on several occasions, often in the third person, and Acosta is referred to as Doctor Gonzo, or simply 'my attorney', and transformed from a Mexican into a Samoan.
The book itself starts at a ferocious pace which never slackens. Like a drunk on a powerful motorbike, Thompson twists the throttle without let up, and as his passengers all we can do is cling on for dear life and hope that this unstoppable force manages to keep tyres to tarmac. Ostensibly about Thompson's attempt to cover the race, and later the district attorney's drug conference, the themes the book explores capture the Zeitgeist of an era. It deals with
the death of the dream of a non-violent revolution, which the 60s had seemed to promise, and sees the American Dream itself being killed off by war in Vietnam and the election of the crooked Richard Nixon. However, the book is much more than a period piece; it is a book about the human condition, in particular our desire to anesthetise ourselves as insulation from reality.
By the second half of the book the narrative has broken free from its shackles and has set about destroying itself, like a scorpion doused in alcohol, insane stinging itself to death. The ninth chapter opens with an editor's note informing the reader that the author is no longer in a fit state to lash the prose together, and there follows sim ply a transcript of Thompson's recorded conversations. The narrative re-appears in time to close the book, emerging into the cold light of day in fittingly hung-over but unrepentant style. Alongside the imagery of the prose,
Ralph Steadman's illustrations, which originally accompanied the articles have become inseparable from the novel.
He followed what he called 'my Vegas book' with Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail in 1972.
Unlike most of the jaded hacks cover ing the race for the
presidency, Thompson actually had experience of running for office. Two years earlier he had been a candidate for Sheriff of Pitkin County, Aspen in Colorado. He ran under his own 'Freak Power' banner and proposed renaming Aspen 'Pat City', a ploy designed to discourage the developers who sought to turn the town into a money-spinning ski resort, and also, somewhat predictably, to decriminalise the possession and sale of recreational drugs. In order to subvert his image as a hippy he promptly shaved his head and during public debates referred to the crew-cut-sporting Republican candidate as 'my long haired opponent'. He lost the election, but only by a handful of votes.
Even in his later years he continued to publish and stood out as the most perceptive voice amongst the panthenon of global social commentators. On 12 September 2001 he memorably wrote 'The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble, along with all hopes for Peace in Our Time, in the United States or any other country'.
A common criticism of his work as a serious body of literature has been his own (and by extension his protagonists') vast narcotics consumption and many critics have used this as an excuse to dismiss the uncomfortable truths that Thompson frequently voiced. However, unlike comparable authors, notably William Burroughs, Thompson never baffles the reader or slips too far into drug-induced stupor. While drugs undoubtedly inform the text, it is his intellect which drives it.
The biggest criticism of Thompson, however (and it is a major one) is that by his success and his genius in writing about truth and what it means to be alive, he has inspired hundreds of fucked up morons with drug habits to think that they can write, and it is for that reason that papers like The Beaver have to endure contributions like this one.
On that note it only remains for me to drain this bottle of Wild Turkey and cram these pages into the mojo wire. Only his own words can come close to being big enough to serve as an epitaph. 'Too weird to live, too ; rare to die.' Res Ipsa ; Loquitur. Mahalo.
kevin peny

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21 February 2006
Across
1.Animal trainer (7)
5.Sufferings (5)
8.	Well-mannered, considerate man (9)
9.	Snooker rod (3)
10.	Revise though summarising (5)
12.	Eye irritating agent (4-3)
13.	State of deceiving oneself (4-9) 15. Whiskey/French general (7) 17. Black/tree (5)
19.	Fuss (3)
20.	Standard used in measurement (9)
22.	Use profane oaths (5)
23.	Stones over grave (7)
Down
1.	Bigger (5)
2.	Grandmother (3)
3.	Floating leaves (4,3)
4.	Switches the TV on from sofa?(6,7)
5.	Rare bear-like mammal (5)
6.	Appear in disguise (9)
7.	Second wife's son, not yours? (7) 11. Part of plant to make paper (9)
13.	Sandwich shops/undergrounds (7)
14.	Experiencing enjoyment (7) 16. Opponent of seller? (5)
18. Used to express mild fear (5) 21. Frozen water (3)

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Hello girls and boys! I hope you've had a lovely week remebering all those romantic Valentine's memories. And if not, then Auntie's always here to share the pain and apply iodine to your grazed emotions. I read every letter you send me, except the saucy ones, which Mr. Shaw reads to me in the bath, so keep sending your dilemmas to the-beaver.art@lse.ac.uk. And remember, however hard those Week Seven deadlines become. Auntie is always here for you, whether online or off.
Just who the hell are you? Why are you on Facebook? And why do you want to be my friend?
Alex, 2nd Year
Consternation is no excuse for cursing, young man, that's what the nuns always said at St. Hilda's! You obviously haven't been keeping up in recent months, dear friend. I am an Agony Aunt. An agony aunt is an individual, always female, always past the menopause who dispenses advice to belligerent individuals like yourself. Her gender and complete lack of the hormonal ravages of youth makes her the sagest and most appropriate individuals for this task. I am on Facebook so that I am better able to minister to my flock, so to speak. And as for your last question, maybe I should be asking you why I still want to be your friend after you've been so belligerent? Well, because you kids are the only ones who can get my 'glaucoma medicine' for me, I guess.
Ever your Auntie,
Auntie Shaw
Last Tuesday the only Valentine's card I got was from my mum, and that was covered with teddy bears and balloons: hardly age appropriate. Why don't you stop being scatty and help me get my love life back on track?
Martin, Law
Martin, Martin, Martin, scatty-ness is next to ditzy-ness, my angel! Unfortunately, you've put me in a bit of a pickle, because being a Law student you're probably either deathly dull or suicidal, so you won't be getting any until you're filthy rich from a decade of practice at the Bar. If the only Valentine you get is from mummy dearest, then mummy is the skirt to chase! Every little boy has a hideously well-developed Oedipus complex, so find your inner child and book a flight to Alabama for you and mumsy! Even if mummy recoils in horror at your advances, your childish regression will at least make your Valentine's card appropriate!
Giggles,
Auntie Shaw
Hmm Auntie, I've been wondering...was your photo taken in prison? You've definitely got some kind of convict-chic look going on with that stripey blouse. Is there something you're not telling us?
Jess, 3rd Year
Madam! Whilst your beloved Auntie is a fun loving soul, since the Inside Linda Lovelace trial in 1976, nothing Auntie has done falls on the wrong side of the law, bar the odd speeding ticket, of course. The real reason for my choice of attire is that the first copy of Vogue I ever picked up told me that stripes were extremely slimming, so I've practised a
life-long habit of simply adding a stripe to my clothing whenever I put on a pound, rather than torturing myself on some quasi-gynaecological gym contraption. As I was a mere slip of a gal, the result is my present wardrobe is covered in a flurry of black and white, which may explain my convict-esque appearance as you put it.
Love,
Auntie Shaw
I'm confused about the Big Bang. Could you please explain it to me.? What is the physics of it all? Am I right in thinking that it's not all finished after the first one?
Ben
The Big Bang is a classic 1978 pom film starring the legendary John Homes. It attracted a great deal of controversy among the Christian community upon its release since they were unsure whether to protest against its sexual immorality or evolutionary physics. Most of the physical problems emerged from friction between the cast but not to worry Ben, this was soon solved by large industrial quantities of KY. Hope you can sleep better at night knowing this!
Hugs and kisses,
Auntie Shaw
The Quad just sold me an outdated egg and mayo sandwich, which tasted a bit off. What should I do?
Mikey
Don't trust the Union food. There is funk in that junk! Why not opt for Cafe Pepe or the lovely Brunch Bowl? The possibilities are endless my dear, mix it up and stay away from the spunk!
Lots of smooches.
Auntie Shaw
I've got 99 friends on Facebook, how do I bump it up to 100? I've tried everything!
Poke around! That's what I did and now everyone wants to be friends with Auntie Shaw. I get about 12 new friends a week. Post up a sexy picture and splash out on my wall, you're guaranteed people will be checking you out!
Every your Auntie,
Auntie Shaw
Valentine's night went horribly wrong. Things are stuck in places and there is still a pair of handcuffs I've been carrying around my wrist since last week. Help me out Auntie Shaw!
Down boy! You seem to have a certain sexual vibe. Simply reading your email gave me a tingle or two. I'm not sure what it is, but whatever you're doing is working. I say don't even bother taking off those handcuffs. You won't have any trouble finding someone who'll want to be cuffed to you all night long!
Whips and leather,
Auntie Shaw
S: INTERVIEW
iBeaverj 21 February 2006 In


China is forced to cede Taiwan to Japan after military defeat. Taiwan reverted to Chinese control after World War 11.
Following the Communist victory on the
mainland, 2 million Nationalists fled to Taiwan and established a government using the 1946 constitution drawn up for all of China.
le United States." Indeed, he had is gone on to pursue his masters 10. degree in law at New York us University and then proceeded to lis acquire a Juris Doctor degree icfrom Harvard University. "I think the greatness of the United States is that they arrange everything ¦for you to see."Without doubt, Dr Ma's student days in America in were an eye-opener for him. s- It was also during his stay in i- America when he met his wife •i- and got married. His two daugh-3d ters are currently studying in the lis United States as well, pursuing a- further education in Harvard as University and Brown University lis respectively. Speaking about his in family, I could detect a slight le apologetic tone in the KMT in leader's voice. Although known u-for being a family man, he said: m "You know, I have to say that I jnfeel quite sorry for my wife and :a. my kids because I don't spend te enough time with them." The ed lamentation in his eyes is perhaps u-the best symbol of the trade-off or between family life and political Id career that every politician faces. ceFor someone with such promi-uenence and popularity, it must be
tie difficult to seek a balance and ^-
allocate time for his family. "But they are very understanding," he added, thankful that his wife and children have been a source of support and fully understand that he has tried his best to be a loving husband and caring father. To be a successful politician, he asserted, "It takes a great wife."
When I asked Dr Ma whether he, as the Chairman of the KMT, perceives himself as having any historic mission, it was a question that he could identify with right away. "I do see a historical mission on my shoulders because I am a great admirer of Dr SunYat-sen." Dr Ma was not shy in admitting the pressure emanating from the legacy of Dr Sun, who first started the Xin Zhong Hui (the Revive China Society) in Honolulu with a small group of friends and eventually, through patience and hard work, created the first republic in Asia. In fact, Dr Ma devoted a great portion of his speech paying tribute to the founder of the KMT. He then delved into the indirect yet profound relations between Dr Sun and our school, the LSE. He said that Fabian insights and foresights not only contributed to the
founding of the LSE, but also "exerted a strong influence upon Dr SunYat-sen in formulating his core philosophy - the Three Principles of the People," which "have lost none of their relevance". Predictably, Dr Ma sees the revitalisation of the Three Principles as his main goal.
At the heart of Dr Ma's agenda is the reinvig-oration of the KMT. "We should really restore the glory of the KMT. We were so trusted by the people before. It's not a mission; it's really something I keep in mind." Dr Ma didn't hesitate to confess that in the past the KMT had made a lot of mistakes, which he had gone into length during the lecture to list. The important thing for the current Chairman is for his party to leam from them, and one of the deadliest mistakes that must be avoided at all cost is being overwhelmed by short-term victories. When the KMT and its allies achieved positive results in the two recent legislative elections, Dr Ma said he warned his
party members during the press conference not to be overjoyed. He recalled telling his colleagues; "Next morning, get up early, and remember that we have a long way to go to win back the people's trust." At that moment, I saw a leader determined to repeal his party's unsavoury past and to reclaim triumph.
Lastly, we discussed his vision of Asia in the future. Does he envision coexistence between all the countries in the Far East? It is clear that Dr Ma is a staunch advocate of regional integration. In his speech, he called on East Asia to "draw important lesions from the experiences of the European Union" and made a reference to Dr Sun's proposal of "pan-Asianism" in attaining peace, prosperity and democracy across the region. To that end, he stressed to me the significance of Taiwan's role. "For Taiwan, it's very important to maintain stable relations with the United States, Japan and mainland China." In ending its notorious status as a security flashpoint in the Far East, it will be in Taiwan's best interest to build closer ties with the mainland. Therefore, Taiwan
must, concluded Dr Ma, "steer a cautious course", which, if gone wrong, "can become very dangerous".
Due to the time constraints, I was only able to chat with Dr Ma for fifteen minutes. As his assistants approached us from the other room, I had to wrap things up. We shook hands again when the session drew to an end, and soon after my photographer and I were rushed out. Leaving the allure of the Director's Dining Room behind, we were back in reality. Nevertheless, I was in a state of euphoria - it had been nothing but an absolute privilege to be able to conduct an interview with the Chairman of the KMT. Whether or not his personal charisma can enable him to "bridge the divide" is a question that only history can answer in time. But for this moment, I am still enraptured by his charm, recollecting his eloquence and candour.
Special thanks to Dr Chris Hughes for his invaluable assistance, and to the LSE Press Office.
FEATURESrPOLITICS
Glorification of terrorism:
the crime that dare not speak its name
Benjamin Biggs discusses why placing restrictions on expressing opinions and beliefs has no place in our society.

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Last week MPs voted to reinstate the 'glorification of terror' clause in the governments Terrorism Bill after its was stripped from the bill last month by the House of Lords. The Terrorism Bill has had a traumatic time and many of its original aims have either been voted down, such as the plan to imprison terrorist suspects for up to 90 days without charge nor trial, or quietly dropped, such as insisting that those who apply for citizenship of Britain must be of "good character". In the wake of the bombings, a wave of consensus broke out among the three main parties in which they agreed in principle to the new terror plans. The 'glorification of terror' offence had threatened to split this consensus, as the Liberal Democrats could not support the policy. As a result of this, Tony Blair decided at the end of last year to water down the original proposals. However, the government has reneged on a plan to let the measure die in the Lords and resurrected it after, what it considers were flagrant breaches of freedom of speech in the last couple of weeks.
This particular measure did not originate in the Home Office. Nor was its author the Home Secretary, Charles Clarke. The Home Office would never produce a statute whereby people can be put in prison merely for praising an idea. The belief that you can make the world a better place by
making it illegal to say nasty and dangerous things has the intellectual sloppiness, the headline-seeking shallowness, and the lack of philosophical grounding that points to the Prime Minister.
Almost before the dust had settled on that fateful Thursday in July, the Prime Minister declared that the rules of what he called "the game" had changed. And as such, claimed the Lord Chancellor, "The law needs to be tightened to prevent the abuse of free speech by those who praise terrorist actions." However, the fact that no watertight legal definition can be found for the kind of terrorism whose glorification a Home Secretary might seek to criminalise is more than slightly concerning. You may not feel a personal need to praise the Stem Gang, Jomo Kenyatta, or even the perpetrators of the Boston Tea Party, but do we seriously suggest it should be a crime to glorify their struggles?
The original draft even included provisions for the government to "certify" past terrorist movements who may or may not be "glorified" lest journalists uncover youthful speeches by the likes of Clarke, Straw, and perhaps even Blair that have 'glorified' terrorists. This would have taken the all-powerful state to a new level - a situation in which ministers and civil servants would have to work their way through history books in order to retrospectively approve terrorists.
'Even if the legislation was perfectly drafted, and worked magically, the government should not be placing restrictions on the freedom of speech.'
Paul Flynn MP summed up this potential situation when he said that "under new Labour, only the future is certain; the past is always changing". What about Nelson Mandela, Fidel Castro, Ho Chi Minh, or the Easter Rising? It's little wonder that the Government was talking about a 20-year "cut-off" point before which we should be allowed to praise terrorists. Ignoring the purely coincidental fact that this take us back to the time that most of the cabinet had just left university, this assertion doesn't make sense. Should it be legal to praise Mandela now, but illegal to praise him then? Throughout history, there have been hundreds of struggles involving hundreds of leaders in which terrorism has arguably played a part. 'Arguably'. We should and must be able to have those arguments.
When tackled about the possible ambiguity that could occur if such as law was on the statute books, one junior home office
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minister answered, in all seriousness, that "surely we all know what we mean by the type of speech being targeted", and that "goodwill and common sense on the part of the judiciary will remedy any imprecision". But here goodwill will be absent because aggrieved people will be actively seeking prosecutions. This law will never work. Therefore, it is unsurprising that this proposal was virtually dropped once the furore of 7/7 had died down.
Its latest incarnation is being touted as "essential" because of the recent protests by aggrieved Muslims due to the publication of offensive cartoons of the prophet Muhammad and the hateful messages which adorned their banners.- However, the police, albeit after a fashion, have made arrests under laws that were already passed. This new law is not needed.
Such a law should not even be passed in principle. Even if the legislation was perfectly drafted, and worked magically, the government should not be placing restrictions on the freedom of speech. No free, liberal society should ban ideas, theories or arguments. Of course there should be limits on freedom of speech, for example to protect people from libel or murder, but it is very hard to justify without resorting to a moral argument laws which curtail freedom of speech in areas such as blasphemy, obscenity or even holocaust-
denial. Central to this argument is that there is surely a difference between thought and action, a question that is absolutely central to the rule of law. Laws should govern action; not close mouths or minds. Whilst there are occasions when words may lead to actions, such as when shouting "fire! "in a crowded theatre, a line must be drawn between willing things and doing things, and where we draw that line defines us as subscribers, or not, to freedom of thought. The best way to defeat fascism and the BNP is to take them on; to expose the false evidence to which their twisted beliefs rely on, not to tiy to ban them or their ideas and allow them to pose as martyrs. It is for what we do, not what we think or say, that we should expect to be locked up.
In a free, liberal country a man or woman should be free to say they admire a terrorist and support his aims, but not to offer any practical support to him in his work. Admittedly, the difference is fuzzy, and there will always be arguments about the 'no-mans land' which lies between taking stands and taking part, but how we negotiate this, and whether we think it matters, is what marks us out as caring about individual liberty in a liberal and just society. The fact that the government, or more precisely Tony Blair does not understand this is perhaps the most worrying thing of all.
FEATURESiPOLITICS	iBeaver] 21 February 2006 13
Dr Sexism will see you now
Features Correspondent Lisa Cunningham reveals that too often today a woman is still judged by her appearance.
Little did I know that as I dressed this morning what I fished out my wardrobe would have such an influence over my day. I was being typically indecisive; would it rain, is it cold, how strong is the wind? As I was in doubt, I opted for the old faithful: my favourite denim mini skirt. It never lets me down, I always feel happy and confident in it. I was set for the day.
First stop; the doctor's. Being a procrastinator at heart, although I moved to London in September, I have only recently registered with a practice in my area. My parents' persistent pestering had eventually become too much to bear And so I was on my way to my first check-up.
The questions began predictably enough; history of heart disease, cancer, diabetes? Then my new physician asked me if I smoke. A little personal, but I suppose relevant. "Never?"
"No, never. I hate the smell."
He then enquired if I drink too much. "How much is too much?" This was met with a stare. "Fifteen units a week, maybe. It depends."
"Why do you drink so much?" This took me aback. Was it his place to ask me such a thing? And
I wasn't aware I was drinking 'too much'. Sure, perhaps a little above the recommended amount, but I'm young, I don't smoke or take drugs and run 20 miles a week. On balance, I'm doing better than most. This failed to prevent the doctor lecturing me in a truly offensive manor, however. I was reprimanded about the dangers of my irresponsible behaviour. I was told that when I get drunk I put myself at risk of contracting Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea, if not something worse. But doesn't one have to have sex to contract these infections, I thought to myself? The doctor was obviously unaware of my personal third date and condom rules. He didn't bother enquiring about any safe sex measures I practice. I'm a young woman, wearing a short skirt who frequents bars. I am clearly wanton.
I left the clinic ruffled and distressed. I had never been made to feel so immoral and promiscuous. But as I was stepping out onto the street, I thought to myself, perhaps I was too quick to judge the doctor? He was only trying to do his job.
As I crossed the road that thought was swiftly whipped
'Equality between the sexes has made so much progress but we still have much ground to cover before discrimina-
from my head. I heard tooting, shouting and jeering. I turned, three men in a white van were gesticulating. One leaned out and shouted a vulgarity. For the second time I was made to feel dirty. This time it was worse, I was a sexual object to them; a pair of legs, a pretty face. I scowled. Is what I think or have to say completely irrelevant? I am intelligent, opinionated and ambitious. Does that count for nothing if my skirt is above the knee?
I should not have to put up with such ignorance. I am a woman, I enjoy my femininity. I should not have to hide my sexuality to be taken seriously. Some may say I encouraged the abuse, I should have chosen to wear something more demure. But I demand to know why that must be? I should be able to wear what I choose, free from judgement.
Feeling sensitive and self conscious I headed to the nearest tube station. Finding a seat, I sat back and pondered the experiences of the morning and the emotions that had been stirred within me. It was clear, women still face various types of sexism each day, whether this was judgements on their sexual activity based on how they choose to
socialise, or being valued solely for their appearance based on the clothes they wear. And then I heard it. "Tut." And again, "tut." A women was sitting opposite me, staring, a look of disgust smeared across her face. Her expression said it all: tart. And so it is not just men. Women judge each other too. I was not sexual object to her, as I had been to the three men in the van, but she judged me on the same thing - my short skirt.
If a young man had visited the same doctor this morning would he have been subject to such condescending comments? Would such judgements have been made about him on the basis of how much he drank? Would he have been jeered and leered at in the street? Or judged on what he was wearing? I doubt it. This double standard must stop. Equality between the sexes has made so much progress but we still have much ground to cover before discrimination is truly eradicated. Perhaps once it is I will be able to wear my favourite denim mini skirt with pride and be judged on the basis of what I say or do, not what I wear.
tion is truely eradicated.'
The Western wind blows east
Kheng Lim reassures us that "Western values" are not the root of all evil.
The recent furore regarding the Islamophobic Danish cartoons has led many to comment on a clash of civilisations between the Muslim world and the West. However, another culture clash exists, albeit one that is given far less attention by the media owing to its less violent nature - that of 'Western' and 'Asian' values.
Being raised in the Far East, I grew up on a diet of rants against the 'decadent' and 'degenerate' 'West. Although moralistic relatives and the media played a part in this, nowhere was this phenomenon more prevalent than in the education system. Teachers were always eager to impress upon us how superior we were to Westerners, and took every opportunity to explain how the West lacked 'moral values'. I remember an examination in which I had to actually write an essay entitled: "How do we prevent Western influences from encroaching on Asian society?"
Having lived in the UK for five years, I feel I have the right to comment on Western culture. Far from lacking values, Western society and culture are based on an extremely strong moral ethos.
My teachers and preachy relatives always used two arguments to promote their viewpoint. The first was invariably sexual morals or rather, the lack of such princi-
ples in the West. "Those Westerners are Godless! They all have sex outside marriage and they even condone homosexuals!"
Of course, what these narrow minded people fail to appreciate is that sexual freedom is actually a result of Western ideas of liberalism. Provided that one's sexual proclivities don't infringe on the welfare of others, one's activities within the confines of one's bedroom is no one's business. Far from being the result of a lack of morals, sexual freedom is an extension of the Western moral code. Likewise, the fact that gay men and women aren't socially ostracised to the same extent as in Asia, or arrested for partaking in consensual sexual fun further proves my point.
Granted, irresponsible sexual behaviour does cause social problems and one would be extremely naive to believe that this isn't a major problem. However, if the West has sexual freedom, the Far East has sexual hypocrisy. Teenage sex does happen in Asia, contrary to popular belief and adultery is rife. I also fail to see how the rampant homophobia in Asian society is a mark of good moral values.
The second point these moralistic commentators bring up is that of 'respect'. Westerners, according to these people have no
respect for their elders. I recall my first class at the LSE, in which a student from the Far East conveyed to me her shock that students were addressing the class teacher by first name.
Again, 'lack of respect' is problematic in any society. However, what Asians often perceive to be a 'lack of respect' is simply egalitarianism. In the Far East, those who occupy a high status in educational institutions or the workplace command respect, but often this is a oneway process. Friends of mine who work back home inform me that
'The right to disagree and to contradict those who occupy a "higher" status than you is not due to a lack of morals, rather it is derived from the values of secular humanism.'
disagreeing with superiors goes down extremely badly. Western values on the other hand emphasise mutual respect between members of society. The right to disagree and to contradict those who occupy a 'higher' status than you is not due to a lack of morals.
rather it is derived from the values of secular humanism.
Usually, such condemnations are accompanied by moans and wails about how Asia is currently experiencing social breakdown due to 'Western influence'. These harpies attribute increasing levels of delinquency among Asian youth to Western mass media and evil influences brought back by Asians who have studied overseas. My personal analysis of the situation is that these social problems are due to rapid economic growth rather than Western influence. Mum and Dad
have to work ridiculous hours to ensure that they can buy the latest car to keep up with the Joneses. In the meantime, the children are neglected and have excessive amounts of cash thrown at them to keep them quiet. Of course, when the kids turn out to be completely useless. Mum and Dad put the blame on Hollywood rather than themselves.
So perhaps it is time for Asian societies to step back and examine themselves rather than pinning everything on the 'evil' and 'degenerate'West.
14 iBeaverl 21 February 2006
FEATURES:POLITICS
Hacking your way to the top
Raihan Alfaradhi gives his top tips for aspiring hacks.
A wise man once said: "In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." Theoretically, the same could be said of our own Students' Union. In practice though, there are sure-fire ways of both winning and losing an election campaign.
Legend has it that a crack unit of election specialists were so successful that they were forced underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive only by doing what they know best - selling success. So if you are thinking of running in the upcoming Lent Term elections, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... the Hack-Team.
If you're not willing to go to such lengths, then help is still at hand. All that remains in the archives from the Hack-Team is a bum manuscript with some of their tactics. What follows is an extract, and it is up to the reader to decide how best to employ this. But before you proceed, be warned that in the right hands, the following information can be deadly. Use only if you're prepared to win...
Tip one: As I'm sure you are all aware, in the real world elections are rarely won on issues. Don't
waste your time canvassing for votes with election promises. At the end of the day we all know that election promises are only there to be broken, so why not make them as extravagant as possible?
Tip Two: Network, network, network. If your time at the LSE
has taught you nothing else, let networking be the one thing that you take away from this great institution. You need to get to know your voters; mingle with them, befriend to them, empathise with them and then finally go in for the kill.
Tip Three: The free people of
LSE will require a strong leader to combat the forces of evil that will soon descend upon the School (unless King's were joking). So portray yourself as a Bush-like Messiah. Throw in a few catch phrases such as "our enemies ... never stop thinking about new ways to harm our
m
country and our people, and neither do we." It can only serve to accentuate your leadership credentials in the face of future adversity.
Tip Four: Cool slogans are the key to any successful campaign. For example, if your audience is the LSE's now infamous AU, remember that they firmly believe that "beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" Thus, promoting slogans such as: "Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case = coincidence? I think not," could prove to be a good vote winner.
Tip Five: Politics is a dirty game. Be prepared to get your hands dirty and don't forget to wash your hands afterwards. Keep watching your back as those closest to you will undoubtedly double cross you. As another wise man said of a politician, "he'll double-cross that bridge when he comes to it."
So, it's that time of the year again at the LSE: time for unholy alliances. Let us just hope that we make it through the next couple of week without too many casualties. And remember - we all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
0
n
Win 4 Samsung Phones and £400 credit
Now To Win is a unique quiz taking place at your' ^ Student Union bar.
Join us for a night of music and great entertainment.
Get your matds togetiner, sign up and go head-to-head, phone-to-phone against other teams for your chance to win!
Entry forms can be found at the student bar.
Ask SU staff for more details.
Terms and cotsfltions apply. See v,",v-A'.Grange.i:;<>,uk/i<)!know
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FEATUREStPOLITICS
IBeaver 121 February 2006 115
It's the taking part that counts
Features Correspondent Laura Sahramaa argues that the Olympics are an overinflated mound of money.
The winter Olympics are here again, which means that TV channels, newspaper coverage, and Internet pages are filled with photos of fit young people racing down hills on improbably skinny slabs of plywood and gliding around ice rinks wearing leotards that - official regulations require - are decorated in some heinously ugly manner, preferably with sequins. There are also some people who engage in a 'sport' called 'curling,' which involves pushing rocks over ice, and about which the less said the better because it's just too easy to mock. The Turin Olympics Board of Directors projected last month that the total cost of all this fabulous athleticism and, er, rock-pushing would be about 837 million pounds.
Which moves me to ask: the nations and corporations of the world get together and generate 837 million pounds to spend on something, and this is - seriously - what they're going to spend it on? Pretty young people racing down hills, and wearing ugly costumes, and pushing rocks over ice?
Seriously?
Now, I understand that when the Olympic Games were founded in 1894 they were supposed to promote international under-
standing through sporting competition. Consider, however, that the modem incarnation of the Olympic Games are less about promoting international understanding and more about kicking other countries' asses when it comes to medal counts. The vast majority of medals are won by
IL.
ing to promote among these nearly uniformly capitalist, democratic countries. They all kind of agree on most everything already. You're not going to see al-Qaeda out there in a bobsledding team.
The Olympics are silly. They're pointless. And they're all about money. And did I mention, there
are sequins?
Consider, also, that while every airwave and column of newsprint - including this one, sorry - are filled with Olympic 'fever,' the people who are supposed to 'catch it,' the public, aren't getting infected. In Turin itself, event attendance is low. In
athletes from a small group of rich countries - basically, the ones that can afford the thousands it costs to train winning athletes. English officials are already calculating how much money they'll have to invest in training for the 2012 London games in order for Great Britain not to be 'embarrassed' in terms of host-country medal counts. And there isn't much international understand-
'The Olympics are
_silly. They're
pointless.And they're all about money. And did I mention, there are sequins?'
the U.S., to name just one example, the Olympics are getting trounced in the TV ratings by other programming, especially when 'American Idol' is on. Apparently Simon Cowell has nothing to fear in terms of competition from the U.S.-Finland women's ice hockey matchup.
And why should he? The Olympics are silly. They're pointless. And they're all about money.
So, let's talk about that money again: that 837 million pounds that all this is projected to cost, and the myriad ways we could find to better spend it. Ways that don't involve sequins. Let's make a list, shall we?
Consider that Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times says that it would cost about 29 million pounds to keep African peacekeepers in the war-torn region of Darfur in the Sudan, where it's estimated that 200,000 people have died in the last three years.
Or consider that 'Make Poverty History' campaign we're always talking about, that motivated hundreds of thousands of people in cities all over the world this summer to march and attend rallies. Know what would do a lot to make poverty history? 837 million pounds.
Or what about money for education and medication to stem the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa? Or measures to help combat the avian virus we'll probably be hearing a lot more of soon?
Not to be a buzzkill and bring up dire international crises or anything, but there is more to life than sequins.
We increased jelly bean sales by 35% (At least thaf s what the bean counters tell usj





© LSESU: THE POWER IS IN YOUR HANDS!!!
ELECTION NOMINATIONS OPEN NOW!!!
The for luerstive SU Sabbatieai posHjons annual salariti 0f £22,000 p#f year and key positions on the part-tlme SU Executive, will take plaee in week 8, Nominations for these elections are open now, as are nominations for the Constitution and Steering Committee (C&S) and Finance and Services Committee (F&S) and a by-election for a vacancy on the academic board.
Nominations: Until 1700h week 7 in SU Reception (LSE East Building, Houghton Street)
Voting: 0900h-1900h Wednesday and Thursday week 8 in the Quad Any student may run, Undergrad, 1st year, 2nd Year, 3rd year.
Masters, PhD
Full list of positions up for grabs:
Sabbatical: General Secretary of SU, SU Treasurei; SU officer for Education and Welfare and SU Communications Officer
Part-Time Executive Committee - Officers with responsibility for: Residences, International Students, Women, Anti-Racism, LGBT, Environment & Ethics and Students with Disabilities.
Returning Officer: (Responsible for organising elections) C&S: Constitution and Steering Committee(7 positions) F&S Finance and Services Committee (4 positions) Academic Board: By-election for committee with responsibility for examination regulations(l position)
For more information about standing or voting in the S.U. election, please see www.lsesu.com/elections or contact Doug Oliver: su.retumingofficer@lse.ac.uk
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iBeaver|2i February 2006h7
Great Debate
The great debate, no.6: Paid too much?

Nursery school was great wasn't it? Afternoons off, puppet shows, milk cartons with no straws, sand, chopped up pieces of fruit, Pythagoras' theorem. Those were the days when everjrthing was in front of you, the world was your oyster and anything was possible.
Out of my nursery graduating class of '90, ninety per cent of the boys wanted to be the next Gary Lineker The other ten per cent wanted to be Spiderman. The Spiderman wannabes are now crack heads and the Lineker wannabes support Chelsea knowing that's the closest they will ever get to Premiership success.
My first dream was crushed at the tender age of eight when I realised due to a little thing known as genetics tall parents equals tall child, and puff, gone were my hopes of ever being a gold medallist gymnast. At fourteen, genetics (again) and insufficient puberty crushed my pursuit of being a topless poll dancer...damn my mother. My genes have done me no favours. Until one day, while watching the US Open, I saw Steffi Graft. She was tall, I was tall, she was Wimbledon champion, I therefore could be Wimbledon Champion. Excellent. Sporting ambition restored.
So I filled my dreams with Wimbledon, strawberries and cream and Pete Sampras. I sacrificed a social life, summer holidays and lie ins to come up against girls who had sacrificed far more:
GCSEs, England, a feminine figure...
Professional athletes are often slated for earning too much money, and I suppose the $170,000 Michael Jordon made a day during the 1996 season and the $281,000 Mike lyson made in a single second against Peter McNeeley may seem unjust on paper (and may tempt you to change your name to Mike). Especially when compared to the starting salaries of public sector jobs such as teaching and nursing. Don't get me.wrong, I think public sector wages are despicable. Both my parents are teachers and the amount of work that goes into such professions is underestimated and not compensated enough. But the money in sports is never going to leave the sporting industry and if it didn't go to the player it would go to the corporate whores behind them. But that's beside the point. I still generally believe such vast figures are justified.
Millions of boys around the globe want to be the next Ronaldinho, Beckham, Zat Knight (ok, that's just Sam) and thousands will try, but only one will succeed. The odds are tiny. Even if you are talented enough, are you willing to sacrifice your childhood and teenage years to pursue your dream, potentially move to a different country, give up friends, education, all on the off chance you
may get that lucky break. And when you do, unlike actors in Hollywood, all it takes is one little ankle twinge and you may never be able to play again...or even worse, what if you simply wake up one morning and not want it anymore. Because you have to really want it. I obviously didn't want it as much as I thought. I didn't want to give up my A levels to train constantly, I didn't want it enough to not have a boyfriend or miss every party every weekend.
Athletes continually push themselves, training year-round to perfect their game. The probability of injury is high, and as athletes age, they become less and less competitive. Then there is the constant pressure to perform at the highest level. Aside from the physical demands, athletes work long hours during the playing season, and they must travel constantly. Many athletes make relatively low salaries. Only a small handful win the 15 million pounds contracts we're used to hear-
ing about. All these factors, coupled with the very public nature of the job, can quickly wear down an athlete's psyche and damage his or her personal life.
What I'm trying to say is that, to be the best - the top of your game; a sporting legend - you have to sacrifice everything; you have to gamble with your life. If athletes fail before they hit it big then what do they have to fall back on? They can become coaches, but everyone knows failed players do not make the best coaches.
Pro athletes shouldn't be compared with nurses, in my opinion their work load is incomparable. They shouldn't be compared with movie stars as, to be honest, how many more hours of entertainment does the likes of Rooney, Kobe Bryant, Schumacher (ok maybe not Schumacher...most boring man ever?) offer compared to the likes of Tom Cruise.
Tiger Woods is a sporting legend, a role model to others, and every PR person's dream, as was Pele, and as he said:
"Eveiy kid around the world who plays soccer wants to be Pele. I have a great responsibility to show them not just how to be like a soccer player, but how to be like a man."
Woods earns just over $80 million a year...just the right amount if you ask me.
"Topical" - Scottish Footy
Count yourself lucky
Douglas
Sanch
Scottish football is the weirdest of organistns. Like a good car crash,it simultaneously proves com-peEing and repulsive in equal helpings.
It has been five years now I have lived in the land of skirted men and have been woefully relegated to taking my only live football fixes from the Scottish leagues. It is a bit like methadone really. You know it is better then the two bucket cold tarkey method but never i-eally matches the heights of a true "having to sell your VCR for smack" habit.-
As of late the Scottish Premier League has been plunged further into the depths of awful long balls and tackling from the Bolton school of hard knocks. No wonder ther'e are so many alcoholics here.
Celtic, with the help of Lucky ChaiTOS mascot Gordon Strachan, manage to rule at the top by a meaty thirteen points helped by the star geriatric signings of Dion Dublin and Eoy Keane. In the English League it is only the likes of Villa who view digging up corpses to sign as a good idea.
Previous seasons champions Hangers, although managing to become the first Scottish team ever to progress through to the knock out stages of the Champions League with an
awesome 7 points from the group stages, continue to disappoint supporters with theij^ very own. special brand ol woeful football. Jean AlainJ Boumsong, by far the worsi! central defender in thej Premier Leagxie, was not highly regarded at EangersJ there have been mutterings; on the terrace that he may bei the man to come back and sort out the sieve-like defence. This is the man who provides great comedy value to all those outside the lyne and Wear area by never man-; aging not to make a mistake,; usually involving wrestling! down an opposing player with the grace of the village diunk administering his pub closing time hugs to strangers.
The other teams in the league provide excitement at the fairly constant level of between Sunday league and under ll's school teams,; although that the two Edinburgh teams of Hibs and Hearts have so far managed to break the traditional one-two placed strangle hold of the Glasgow teams has added at least some interest.
So while you complain about haw unexciting the' Premier league has become be tharJrful that at least yoa aren't consigned to the depths of Scottish League purgatory.
In Lehmann's Terms
Sam Lehmann
Other Editor
There are lots of difficult and dangerous jobs in the world. Being an Alaskan crab fisherman boasts the highest on-the-job mortality rate, for instance. Bodyguards are obliged to throw themselves into the path of bullets and other missiles. Bomb diffusers also tend to have a stressful time. City workers have to gel their hair back, play squash and constantly lick their bosses' asses all day long. It's not a particularly easy or pleasant life to look forward to really.
I think BeaverSports Editor has got to be up there amongst those difficult jobs, perhaps somewhere between uranium miner and John Prescott's face coach (notice how he's trying to stop doing that incredibly awful thing he does with his mouth when he breathes in whilst talking). It can be long hours for starters, working way past
last tube on occasion. It's also at the whim of LSE computer technology, which is less reliable than Judy Finnegan's colonic irrigation.
Perhaps the biggest problem is that BeaverSports Editors cannot be offended by ANYTHING at all. Pretty much anything goes when it comes to BeaverSports articles, and you have to be constantly prepared to be shocked beyond reason. Natural disasters, tragic deaths, horrific incidents -they're all fair game. If they're genuinely not funny, they don't get in, but mostly censorship isn't an issue in an issue of BeaverSports.
Why have I brought this up? Two reasons really. Firstly, some people were offended by some of the content of last week's Sports. And I'm perfectly fine with that. People have the right to be offended by all means - the freedom of expression about the content is welcomed. I apologise to those who are offended, naturally. I do have a problem with those people who want to take away this freedom of expression. There are some people who would

like to see the littering of similes brushed away and the generous helpings of topical witticisms scraped into a bin of political correctness. Those people are simply uptight and ignorant ignoramuses. People who take life so seriously are absolutely abhorrent and generally make a bosh. To use a very tired cliche, and much like the Beaver office when everyone's trying to meet their deadlines, its PC gone mad.
The second reason I'm harping on about BeaverSports is that it's now week seven. Which means, as well as being RAG week and the anniversary of the Swaggart sex scandal, there's only four issues left of the Beaver. It moves me to horrible tears to think that at some point I'm gonna have stop showing off and hand this job oyer to someone new. It will also be a huge relief. I guess the elections will be in week nine though, so there's some time to think about it yet.
. Anyway, this week's BeaverSports is slightly shorter than last week's highly successful VD special edition. Many thanks to all the
contributors. The advertised special on Berrylands will probably be next week, mainly because I was extremely ill this week and couldn't leave Sancha to do it all. Please keep sending in your wonderful articles and photos. Remember quality action pictures will pretty much guarantee you back page!
Take care of yourselves and each other.
Sam
AU message
AU COLOURS BALL
Wednesday 8th March
The Hilton Hotel, Kensington
7.30pm til late
£37 for individual ticket
Price includes champagne reception, 3 course meal and half bottle of wine
Tickets available from Jarlath's office (EI73, inside gym)
18 lBeaveri2i February 2006
Men's Tennis
Men's tennis go all the way at Holloway
Asanka
LSE .1st IV	10
Royal Holloway 1st IV 0 Egham
Against the backdrop of ominous clouds, frigid weather, and occasional gusts of wind, the LSE Mens 1st Tennis Team emerged with a resounding 10-0 victory against one of its arch rivals: Royal Holloway. In this must-win situation, the team of the day, consisting of Mr. Alex Moore, Mr. Asanka Pathiraja, Mr. Pete Kuzarow, and Mr. David Sagalov, succeeded in preserving the strong and proud legacy of LSE Tennis.
In doubles play, the team of Mr. Moore and Mr. Kuzarow, in a demonstration of both grit and wit, pulled out a solid 9-7 victory against
the Royal Holloway 1st doubles team. Utilising the explosive forehand that has come to epitomise Mr. Moore's game and the mental fortitude of Mr. Kuzarow, the two countered any opposition by RH Ists, ensuring no error on RH's part would go unpunished.
Not to be outdone by their teammates, the pairing of Mr. Pathiraja and Mr. Sagalov proved far too strong for Royal Holloway's 2nd doubles team, winning their match in resounding fashion: 8-3. Though 3-3 by the end of the first half-hour of play, the two switched into signature form and rode a series of impressive first serves, solid groundstrokes, and aggressive volleys to defeat their opponents.
In singles action, the 1st , 2nd , and 3rd positions were taken by Mr. Moore (6-1, 6-4), Mr. Kuzarow (6-1, 6-3), and Mr. Pathiraja (6-0, 6-1) respectively; finding no trouble in easily dispensing of their opponents. Through a
combination of adroit footwork, strong net performance, and equally ferocious service play, the three systematically deconstructed any threats posited by Royal Holloway. Once again Mr Moore's forehand, Mr. Kuzarow's backhand, and Mr. Pathiraja's skill at net proved too powerful.
In the tightest singles match of the day, Mr David Sagalov demonstrated what it means to play with heart. In an exchange reminiscent of Jimmy Connor's now famous 1991 U.S. Open "mega-point", one of Sagalov's points (played at deuce, 5-5, second set) continued almost indefinitely, lasting nearly 20 strokes, before Sagalov, in an act of boldness, rushed to the net to decisively end the point. Final score, Sagalov over RH, 6-4, 7-6 (7-2).
Congratulations, once again, to the strong effort of LSE Men's Ists in their victory against Royal Holloway!
c
M
K
11%
LarJies NetbaH

Fifths perspire and fulfil their desire
Harry Robinson
LSE 5th VII
Goldsmiths Vfl Far far away
22 Tfi
w
ith an unjust defeat weighing heavy on their hearts, the
LSE super 5ths rallied themselves for their last jaunt of the season on the netball court against the pernicious (and rather short) Goldsmith's. The final match; the end of an era, surely the 'undefeated' 5ths weren't going to fall foul of these Goldies?
The pitch was huge, the posts were high and, coupled with an inside location, perspiration was more pre-

dictable than the metaphors which usually litter the Beaver's sports pages. Nevertheless, the girls cracked off to a good start and finished the first quarter a couple of goals up. The ref was clearly having a wrong side of bed/bad hair/time of the month day and displayed less goodwill than the typical London bouncer.
The Goldies switched around in the second quarter

in an attempt to baffle our 5ths and grappled back a few goals: it was getting close. Early in the third, the Goldsmith WD and GD tag-teamed Libby, taking her down, drawing blood and rendering the nippy centre unplayable. A quick swap and the 5ths continued with gusto as Libby looked on with maternal pride at TJ and Harry's goal zone performance-quality shootin' 'n'
moovin'!
A battered and bruised Libby returned for the last quarter, which saw the far-reaching, ever-protecting hands of Mel prevent the Goldies from scoring. Pui kept the GA out of the game and Laura played a blinder -she was all over the shop! The Claw, Lib and Superjen kept it smooth and fluent in mid-court, maintaining possession and delivering it forward to
the tender arms of the shooters. After a hard and determined fight, the final score was 16-22. Once again Pui was crowned 'Pui of the match', despite the dissent(l) she clearly is the greatest dancer. In true 5ths style the girls trundled off to a dodgy pub to celebrate the night's win, a great season and to work out just how far in the league they are above the 4ths...
I








L
«Beaver| 21 February 2006
Men's Football
Thirds into semi, Fabs throws up
Nick "ridiculous hair" Wilson
LSE 3rd XI	2
Goldsmith's XI	I
Berrylands	
Having won the league in three out of the last five seasons, the 3rds have decided that it is all becoming rather tiresome so this year we can't be arsed. Which is why on Wednesday we graciously handed our league title to those arty folk from Goldsmiths, which will hopefully make them happy, thus saving the world from another generation of angry musicians and instead ushering in a new era of hippy love. Or maybe even Disco. However, like the gods we are, the Thirds giveth, and the Thirds taketh away. So
when those very same born-again hippies became greedy, and had the temerity to return to Fortress Berrylands for the second time in a week in an attempt to knock us out of the cup, they invoked our almighty vengeance and were destroyed (kind of like when Jack got greedy and wasn't happy with his golden egg so he went back and nicked the singing harp thing, but then it sang, and invoked the giant's vengeance. But then the giant didn't win in the end cos Jack chopped the beanstalk down. And we did win, so it's not really like that. Where is the moral in that story anyway? The thief wins, what's that about? And are we gods or giants? I forget. Maybe both. Sorry, I was out late...). Anyway, back to football.
It was a new look 3rds that took to field on Saturday afternoon, thanks to a tactical masterstroke from our commander-in-chief Andy Logan (yes, ok, so now we're an army as
well. A giant, god-like army). We switched from the 4-4-2 that is our usual arrangement to 3-5-2 in order to strengthen our midfield, and welcomed back "Geoff Riddell" and "Nick Groh" to the starting line-up (rumours that there was something Fishy about these replacements were swiftly quashed). And so followed ninety, minutes of divine footballing perfection, tarnished only by a moment of utter ineptitude from the useless wanker of a referee. In the face of such brilliance, our opponents were powerless to halt their own demise, and could only look on open-mouthed, wishing they hadn't bothered to turn up and miss their ballet class as we ran proverbial (literal, in the case of Oli Ursino) rings around them. In fact, the rubbish bastards had hardly had the ball in our half before we had it in their net, third team hero Andy Ong showing great composure in
rounding the keeper and slotting home for his first of the season.
Of course, the Thirds must maintain at least the facade of mortality, for fear that ULU may throw us out if they were to discover our true deitic nature. On Saturday, this responsibility fell to "the man with the worst syntax at the LSE," according to a not-at-all-pissed-off-to-be-dropped Gypsy. Having done well to win a penalty, Fabs decided not to put us 2-0 up, preferring instead to float the ball into the grateful arms of the poet/hobo/goalkeeper between the sticks. Despite an otherwise flawless performance, this was as close as our talismanic centre-forward came to a goal, leaving him still with just one toe slipped tantalisingly into the LSE golden boot. We continued to keep our foes pinned back, the immense Andy Logan and Tiptoes McGurn ruling the centre of midfield with a pair
of iron fists, with creative sparks aplenty being provided by the lightning quick "Groh" and the simply unbelievable trickery of Oli, who has yet to grasp the"fagade of mortality" thing. Any retaliatory advances Goldsmiths attempted were easily repelled by the solid defensive unit of the Pimpernel, Administrator "Geoff" and Sweary Dobbo.
Half-time came and went, but the onslaught continued, and we were justly rewarded on the hour when Jammin' Jay Amin slotted home from close range to continue his recent vein of goalscoring form. He then had a fight in the back of the net for good measure. Cruising toward the semi-final at 2-0, our glorious ship of victory was briefly rocked ten minutes later when our opponents were gifted a goal. A rare Goldsmiths corner was hit deep to the back post where I rose majestically, salmon-like, to pluck it out of the air. The
striker challenging me was too lazy to jump for the ball himself, so instead decided to climb me as if I were a steplad-der. As a result, the ball spilled free but was comfortably cleared off the line. The officiating twat gave a goal. Obviously. This, however, was as good as it got for the worst first team in ULU, and the final score of 2-1 was somewhat insulting to our rampaging performance. That is how it finished though, and the semi finals await.
Afterwards, any vengeance we hadn't found it necessary to wreak upon Goldsmiths, we wreaked upon ourselves, getting thoroughly bollocksed and cavorting en-masse until six-o'clock on Sunday morning. Fabs was sick, Gypsy was a sweaty mess and the real Geoff scared away girls. Quite similar to your average Wednesday night really...
Men's Hockey
LSE hockey save the best 'til last







JJ
GKT 3rd XI	0
LSE 2nd XI	3
Somewhere
After their second team denied us (narrowly and unfairly) the league, for our last game of the season we felt that it was only proper that we gave these glorified Strand Poly scum a good seeing to.
With it being the swansong in many of our squad's LSE careers it was our solemn duty to despatch a sorry looking GKT team who knew they were beaten from the minute we arrived. For the first and last time this season we were given the opportunity to adorn ourselves in our long anticipated kits.
Emmsy set his stall out early, closing in on his 50 goals for the season target with a well placed strike about 10 minutes into the first half. Up until this point they had defended their territory with a
vigour that was noticeably absent on that fateful December Friday. The opposition's lacklustre performance from here on in could possibly have been a result of an eleven-men-in-a-bed orgy with an unfortunately frigid penguin, but we can only assume.
Rising to the occasion in his last game ever in LSE colours was the now no longer homeless Gilo. After living in a cardboard box for the past few weeks under a bridge in Bermondsey, Gilo slipped in at the back post undetected to double our lead. To both teams'
surprise we went in at half-time only 2-0 up; a big performance was needed in the second half, and as usual the most prolific team in the history of 2nd team hockey promptly delivered, Emmsy edged ever closer to his half century by grabbing another breakaway goal pretty much straight from the hit off. Cash back.
After my penalty flick miss in a previous week, I, as captain, felt it necessary to make it up to my team for such an embarrassment. After a bit of a goalmouth scramble Rishi claims he passed the ball to me
as I was waiting for a rebound. This was a bit of an exaggeration on his part though - he blatantly tried to shoot and fucked it up. Either way, instead of slotting the ball over the prostrate GKT keeper I decided to show off the skill I had promised (but never delivered) over the course of the year. The ball rocketed from the end of my stick skyward, hitting the inside of the post on the way to the roof (ish) off the net. Sublime.
Our fifth goal completed a much-deserved hat trick by Emmsy, who finished the sea-
son just three goals short of a half century. Another ten minutes would have done it, but night time was fast approaching and Kennington isn't the greatest place to walk around after dark, so we reckon their appalling ref blew full time a tad early. Unfortunately for Dan and Andy this meant a shameful performance in a yard of ale competition. GKT gained their only victory of the day, and it came from one of their girls. Shameful, lads. Shameful.
Injury time
Fifths take a hit but deMver a bashing
Harry Robinson
Doing a Hovis
Hockey lads close the
curtain on the season jj
A step closer
Thirds move onto semi's
Nick
sports
It's all about Meenal's redemption, yeh? Innit?
	
	
	
	
	
	
	
Louise & Ju
St. George's XI	2
LSE 1st XI	2
Battersea Park	
All good wins must come to an end...but that doesn't mean we lost. Finally the LSE legends encountered a team who left the bitchiness in the changing
rooms and played for the love of the game. Just like we do.
Having noticed they had only 10 players we thought we could make our advantage count and started off confidently. They hacked at us a bit (a lot), so much so that our trusty sideline support, consisting of Gabba, went skitz. They calmed down as the game progressed and started passing it around us like we weren't there, resulting in a what was to be a meaningless warm-up goal. We all thought :"they're playing mind games, baby,"
and once we caught on we started making the ball do the work (apart from el capitan who just let her outrageous stick tackles do the talking).
Our first goal was a glorious solo effort from Meeny Meenal Patel, who dazzled their defence from the half way line and finished with perfect timing. 1-1. The race for the Golden Stick was on! (Current standings at this point in the match; Gabba 13, Yelly 13, Meenal 12). Half time arrived and the chat was all about 'starting anew' and 'tak-
ing the game' to an obviously very good side.
They managed to get one past the posts at the start of the 2nd half, as their giant striker up front whizzed past the defence. Our heads were kept high though, as Zoe showed increasing confidence and celebrated her lady of the match award with 'a taster of Jagermeister' at our much loved teas.
More on Meeny, who sadly will be leaving us soon. (Little does she know, due to popular demand, she will be returning
for a Masters at the L S of Econ rather than going on a 'gap year' with her boyzz). "What it is, yeh," at 2-1 down, yeh, she was obviously thinking of how Liverpool won the Champion's League (get over it, innit?) when she somehow managed to put one wide from 2 yards out. At this point we thought it wasn't meant to be for us and that ULU promotion was slipping away. Needless to say who got dick of the day. However, our trusty Club Captain soon redeemed herself with a goal worked by
the elder stateswoman of LSE-WHC, Nat Black. The Sabb was as persistent and determined as she is on a Wednesday night, getting past the goalie and then unselfishly slipping it to Meeny, who was never going to miss from half a yard out. 2-2 and that's how it ended. To guarantee promotion through goal difference, Lolly has set a target of 8-0 against the UCL scum. Coming up next week: the finale of our season including who will win the Golden Stick!!

IL
*

JaG- "

The tallest player in the fifths, centre back Flash Gordon, steals in at the far post unnoticed to head in LSE's first, whilst the ball remains mysteriously out of sight
Fifths' rampage against King's continues
Deus and Dom
LSE Dewant Fifths 3 Strand Poly	0
Fortress Berrylands
r
"n three years and thirteen games against local rivals .King's College, the fifth team have only managed to lose just once. To call King's College 'rivals' is akin to calling the NHS a 'productive, cost effective institution' these days. Degree after degree, match after match, barrel after ; barrel; each time they've
offered about as much of a challenge as Neville Chamberlain on rohypnol.
So roll on Saturday, and the deviant fifths rocked up with such confidence that Luke hadn't bothered even bringing the kit. Despite being without 'everyone's favourite post-grad', in spite of most of the team having contracted avian flu from having unprotected sex with Hong Kong goalkeeper Dom, and to spite Birdman for not turning up, the fifths were determined to commit regicide once again.
From kick off the fifth team settled down to the usual routine of destroying the Strand polytechnic. Ben Biggs ^proved less shaky than Ming 'Campbell at Prime Minister's
Questions in forming a defensive partnership with Flash Gordon, whilst full-backs Baby Luke and UG Pete covered the rear with aplomb. In the five-man midfield which has inspired our inconsistency were Josh, Captain Rash, and MC Will in the centre with Knuckles and Deus on the left and right wing respectively. Irfan, disliked, stayed up front on his own.
Fairweather racist Deus found being far right of centre particularly comfortable, and, after winning a comer, somehow managed to loft the ball into the box and onto the head of Flash, the ball hitting the crossbar and bouncing down behind the line for our first. Irfan, one goal shy of his LSE
half-century, used his selective hearing to great effect, consistently failing to pass in a desperate attempt to make himself even more hated than he already is.
After some uncharacteristically dextrous and loud ball-winning from fingerless mute Josh, and fantastic link up play between	bandy-limbed
Captain Rash and the very rich Will McCullough, the ball again found its way over to Deus on the right wing. Deus proceeded to hit the touchline and drive the ball across the goalmouth with the power of the Danish cartoonist union, finding the chauvinist Knuckles at the far post, who struck the ball into the back of the net harder than he hits
King's Cross prostitutes with his recently-acquired obsidi-an-studded war club, making it 2-0 at the break.
In the second half UG Pete was more resilient than a brick shit-house at right back; substitute Jay brought some more tricky dribbling to the mid-field, Dom continued wasting his afternoon in goal, and Irfan's half century proved ever illusive.
Finally, about mid-way through the second half, Irt scored his 50th LSE goal. And what a fitting goal it was for the disliked striker - a textbook Irfan finish which typified his goalscoring style, A mix up between the goalkeeper and the defender saw the ball take about two thousand
deflections and ricochets before somehow dropping to him and leaving him an open goal. 3-0 to the fifth team. Game over.
There was a brief scare towards the end when King's somehow managed to get the ball in our net, but obviously it was disallowed for being clearly offside. The game ended with the fifths three goals to the good, the referee commenting afterwards when questioned about the standard of football summing it up best: "Some surprisingly impressive stuff, some other stuff was quite comical". In this kind of offensive and defensive form going into our final two matches, the fourths should be afraid - very afraid.
I	-
luNiilo this w ook's	(.M-Sport-:	llari-N	\s.ink.i	.M 'Kidit'iilous H.iir"	VN.u'.k.i