1- ¦ BRITISH LIBRARY OF POLITICAL iECONOMICSGIENCE eek's edition of The Beaver a%; Supergrass I r ¦ Bar-t * Page 5 ARTS & MUSIC Secti0ll2-Bart Tuesday, December 2 1997 Issue 473 First Published May 5, 1949 The Newspaper of the LSESU THE BEAVER Rebel Cause reaches the Critical Masses Michael Collins On Wednesday 26 November, approximately 8,000 students from across the country gathered outside of the University of London Union, to protest against the introduction of tuition fees, Malet Street was alive with levels of passion and colour that many had not seen before, illustrating the growing defiance and strength of feeling regarding this issue. However the LSE turnout was again very low, showing itself to be one of the Universities least opposed to fees. This latest show of militancy was certainly more visible than in recent years, with the route taking protesters along Tottenham Court Road and Oxford Street, culminating in a large rally in Hyde Park. The route itself actually caused some problems. On the comer of Portland Place, many students who were unaware that the march was heading for Oxford Street anyway, attempted to break through police lines. Small scuffles broke out but order was quickly, restored. The police commented afterwards that it had been a "generally peaceful demonstration in which any problems had been due to organisational difficulties." Many supporters had come out in defiance of the NUS. Members of the National Association of Teachers in Further Education ( NAFTE ) were present, with one source commenting that "the issue is too important to let the official line deter us." John Rees, Editor of International Socialism, called it "a magnificent display of student solidarity and another step towards a defeat of the government bill." The march progressed slowly, with many failed attempts to organise 'sit down' protests. Once assembled in the park, the focus of attack was emphatically directed at the Labour Government and the NUS. Kate Buckell, a left wing member of the NUS, speaking for the Campaign for Free Education claimed that it was "a disgrace that the national executive of the NUS was not present to support the demonstration" although herself, Jo Cardwell and Carolyne Colver were significant dissenters. Buckell continued by claiming that there has been "a history of NUS leaders too easily tempted by a job The crowds rally behind the banner of free education in the Labour Party." Perhaps the most senior figure to attend the rally was Jeremy Corbyn, Labour MP for Islington North, who emphasised his support for universal and free education. Commenting afterwards he said that his motivation was the belief that there would be a change in intake to universities, based on financial status and not academic ability." Although admitting this could only be a prediction, he claimed that this was the impression that he had been given in his constituency. The presence of a rebel Labour MP was encouraging for the anti-fees movement. The chair of the Campaign for Free Education, claimed that over 60% of Labour MPs were actually against tuition fees, but declined to comment on his sources. In a jubilant mood, he commented further that "this was the biggest student demonstration for over five years" and that there would be "another national demonstration organised before the next reading of the bill." The Campaign for Free Education will be calling for a unity conference in January, to attempt to bring the Stop the Fees Campaign and other groups under the one banner. They also plan to support the SOAS occupation as a building block and to step up activities in the coming months. Yuan Potts, LSESU Education and Welfare officer, was another wayward son who attended the rally. Having last week confirmed his support for the NUS "week of action" starting on the 1st December, he was present at the march, sporting his LSESU sabbatical T-shirt. Potts commented that it constituted "major student action against fees" and that "a senior figure from the LSE should have been present." Given his public opposition to the demonstration at last weeks UGM, this arguably suggests an Photo: Ralph Achenbach underlying desire for a more unified campaign, in spite of the official NUS line. Given the unofficial nature of the demonstration and the lack of support from the NUS executive and Douglas Trainer, the march has to be regarded as being of great encouragement to the anti-fees movement. It is certainly a measure of the degree to which students feel strongly about this issue and an indication that the student movement will not take the introduction of tuition fees and the abolition of the grant lying down. Inside: Section 1 Section 2 News 1-3 Listings 4 Union 5 Letters 6-7 Photo 8 Fashion 9 Economics Bart: Literary 2 Michael Hutchence Obituary 3 10 International 11 Features 12 Campus 13 Sport 14-15 Music Reviews 4 Supergrass 5 Theatre 6 Film 7 Opera 8 2 Unanswered Questions at Roseberry NEWS THE BEAVER Issue 473 - DECEMBER 2 Blank Cheques Against Fees I demonstrations against fees. Nonetheless, Narius defended the action, saying that "students had expressed their outrage" and stating that the low turn out "didn't mean students were indifferent to the issue." The validity of this statement is supported by the impressive attendance at the anti-tuition fees march on the previous day. Both sabbaticals vowed to continue the battle against tuition fees, which Photo: Ralph Achenbach seems to have gathered momentum lately. Some feel that this is a case of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, and that the demonstration of student anger would have been more effective before the Dearing Report was published. Others claim that there is still much that can be done, and view with optimism the NUS week of action against fees which is currently underway. News From Nowhere This week, the Poly on the Strand published a cutting and hurtful article regarding our very own Beaver. After suggesting that The Beaver is most likely to be found keeping a tramp warm at night on the Strand, they proceeded to call us a 'left wing rag,' begging its readers to remember that they are 'the ones with the quality, the class and the decorum,' and to take note of the fact that their newspaper 'is a fuck sight better' than ours. Decorum indeed. Well, we have to hand it to them. What a superbly thought out and coherently argued piece this is. Kings: all your constructive comments have been taken on board and we are indeed going to go 'packing back to [our] mothers crying' having finally realised what a mediocre publication we are producing here. In fact, we are so mediocre that we do not even have the talent to throw cheap slurs at our superiors. (We can, however, slur Kings). We must take a little comfort from the fact that our 'rag' warrants attention from such a lauded publication as the Kings' Roar and that it can do its bit for society by keeping tramps warm at night. This is probably due to the fact that it was four pages longer, of distinctly higher paper quality and hence rather more cosy than this week's Roar. Speaking of complete wankers, a student in Aberdeen has this week flown in the face of all traditions of maternal respect to sue his mother for refusing to pay any money towards his education. The student, who remains unnamed, is surviving on a full grant and the money he earned from a holiday job. He claims however, that this is not enough on which to survive (with which 1 wholeheartedly agree) and that his mother must therefore meet him in court to discuss paying him an allowance. Mother dear is claiming that her annual wage of £42000 is needed to look after her house and family. What I want to know is whatever has happened to the Neighbours-style family talks that used to be so effective in resolving family disagreements in the past? However, more serious disagreements are taking place at the University of Central England this week with the su.spension of art student. Tan Kwank (?!?) Liang. The move took place after Liang included urine and human faeces (aren't I PC?) in his creation of fine art. Apparently, the powers that be, namely the university's vice chancellor Dr Peter Knight, have decided that his answer 'no' to the question 'it's crap, but is it art?' takes precedent over the powers at the Royal Academy of Art who have included several pieces of art made from faeces and urine in their new exhibition Sensation. Knight justified his position by proclaiming: 'we have had rubber (ooh), plastic (ooh, err) and many other materials, but with shit there is a limit. I decided to suspend him because the shit was not a visible part of the display'. I see, or not as the case may be (ho ho). What I fail to see is what is so funny about jumping on tables, playing INXS songs. Suicide Blonde being an obvious favourite, with belts tied around your neck. Apparently this was an incident witnessed by students in Warwick this week and I must lake it upon myself to warn the persons involved that you could do yourself a serious injury behaving like that. Don't let Kings College get hold of the story, they might try and report with the great quality, class and decorum for which they are so famous._ Tasha Kosviner _Chris Roe_ The LSE staged its own personal demonstration against tuition fees last Thursday, when students had to "pay" to go to their lectures in the Old Building. Everyone who participated was issued with a "cheque" which they placed in a box marked HM Trea.sury, in a defiantly symbolic blow against the principle of a "pay as you go" basis for further education. The stunt was the brainchild of Education and Welfare sabbatical Yuan Potts, who described the event as "inpromptu." Some unkind commentators claimed that this was reflected in the lack of interest shown towards the gesture by the national media. Journalists had been issued with press releases about the event and yet failed to turn up, with the exception of News Direct, a twenty four hour radio station. Cynics maintained that their presence was explained by their constant need to fill air time Yuan defended the apparent apathy by claiming that there was "a lot of other news for the nationals to cover." He admitted that the spectacle was announced "at short notice" (at the UGM two hours before it was due to take place), but stated that it had been a "great success." When asked about the low turn-out (around fifty students, according to official estimates) he pointed out that this was "never intended to be a mass event" but a "photo News Team FURTHER DETAILS HAVE been revealed about the circumstances surrounding the death of a young Australian woman outside Roseberry Hall on Thursday 20 November. The police apparently told sub-wardens at the Hall that the deceased was a tourist with a history of depression and paranoia. They also stated that they had discovered no signs of foul play. Sainthan Sathyamoorthy, the Hall President, told the Beaver that the girl had died from injuries connected Matt Brough Recent investigations by LSE authorities have revealed that an unknown party has been using forged stationery from the Centre for Philosophy of Natural & Social Sciences to create job references for 'phantom' students. The false references, complete with contact number, were sent to a number of London companies. However the fraud went unnoticed until a reference submitted to Railtrack was cross-checked directly with the CPNSS itself. Although having already contacted the author of the false reference, one Railtrack official decided to check further, contacting Kate Workman at the CPNSS. With little cross-referencing it became apparent that neither the subject nor the referee, 'Professor Thomas Yoo', were members of the department or the LSE. However despite the prevention of this particular fraud, suspicion was raised amongst the department as to whether any other related incidents had occurred and for how long such activities had been taking place. Exclusive pictures of the demonstration opportunity." In the event the opportunity was sadly not exploited by most of the media. The besuited General Secretary of the Students' Union, Narius Aga, told the Beaver that he had "personally been in favour of postponing the event" so that it could be advertised more extensively. Yuan argued that deferring the event would have-taused it to be submerged in this week's national with a broken back. It seems that this had been caused by a fall or jump from the Roseberry building. Police said that this hypothesis was consistent with the position of the body when it was found. From this evidence it appears likely that the girl may have entered Roseberry itself. It seems that she may have gained access to the hall by following someone through the main door, or by climbing up the fire escape. Tapes from cameras installed at the hall are currently being examined by the police, and no conclusions about the issue had been made at the time of writing. In a related incident a letter was received at the LSE on what was later to be found the same forged CNPSS stationary as the Railtrack reference which has led to further concerns as to the extent to which the forgery operation is running. Although both the CNPSS and the LSE as a whole are increasingly worried about the implication such false documentation will have on the the school's image as an institution, the possibility of locating 'Professor Yoo' is extremely limited, as is the likelihood of any kind of criminal prosecution owing to the indistinct nature of his offence. As Services Officer Bernie Taffs told the Beaver "this kind of thing is very easy to do these days and we can't actually be sure what laws as such they are breaking. However what is definitely clear is that it is detrimental to the reputation of the school." Anyone who can provide any information as to the source of the bootlegged stationery or any clues as to the identity of the elusive 'Professor Yoo' should contact Services Officer Bernie Taffs. Some expressed concern about the possibility of breaches of security at the hall. One source told the Beaver that there is currently no professional security guard at Roseberry, by contrast High Holborn hall has at least one on duty at any given time. Another source also claimed that few residents bother to sign in their guests at the hall. However, the Hall's Warden, Mr. Jussi Hanhimaki, said that the general feeling in the hall was fairly positive. He added that counselling had helped to assuage the concerns of many students. Home _Matt Brough_ The ever increasing strain on student accommodation in London is leading to private housing agencies and landlords taking advantage of vulnerable students.Recent years have seen greater increases in rent than have previously been experienced. Also with increasing disparity between different areas Landlords are charging approximately £200 per week for a room in the more sought after areas of London. Students, particularly those from overseas, are also falling prey to Landlords who demand 3, 6 or even 9 months of rent in advance, a situation that places tenants in a seriously weakened position. Another problem are the ever growing deposits required, seen by some as being just another way for Landlords to fleece unwary students. The LSE Accommodation office warns students to beware of accommodation agencies that charge fees upfront, a practice that is both illegal and highly risky for anyone seeking housing. However with continued competition for Speaker's Corner Lembit Opik, the Liberal Democrat MP for Montgomeryshire, gave his views on the Irish Peace Process in an address at the LSE. He expressed optimism for the talks and a fruitful outcome for parioes engaged in negotiation. However Opik, who was bom in Ulster himself, was cautious about being completely optimisic about the outcome, and says that the road ahead would probably be "rocky." He also slammed tuition fees as being a "poll tax on students." Opik had a particular interest in the issue as a former contender for the NUS leadership. truths accommodation in popular areas, the number of students willing to pay these illegal fees is on the increase. As a result the number of complaints has also increased considerably, particularly from students who have found themselves in a situation with what they perceive as being no legal way out and all too often have lost money. Sue Garrett of the accommodation office offered advice for students looking for a place to crash. She told the Beaver that students should not expect to live in Camden or Islington, and should try cheaper areas in Northern London. She also advised students to contact the Accommodation Office for advice before parting with large sums of money in advance. Education and Welfare Sabbatical Yuan Potts also made the following statement; "The private housing situation in London is dodgy at best. Before agreeing to any contract visit either the Student Union advice centre or the accommodation office." Paper Fakers Chased \ THE BEAVER I DECEMBER 2 - Issue 473 NEWS 3 Non-Alcoholics Unanimous THE HEALTH EDUCATION AUTHORITY (HEA), a subsidiary part of the NHS and an advisory body to the Government, last week released an extensively researched news release warning of the dangers of drinking. This is an issue especially relevant to the student populous with cheap drinking forming such an integral part of student social life. However, the HEA targets a wider audience, the British public en masse. The report, entitled "Too much to drink? Think!" endeavours to show that many alcohol related problems are the result of one off drinking binges. It went on to point out that 41% of all contact crime is alcohol related in some way, and that "half of all adults admitted to hospital emergency surgical units are drunk." However, despite these somewhat worrying statistics, a lot of the information communicated in the HEA report was dismissed by many who I talked to as un- ii^t Beaver Ffews Cinnierrt spectacular. The fact that 44% of the nation's men have felt drunk at least once over the past year is surely not that surprising a .statistic. Equally unsurprising to the sector of the LSE Tuns-goers who I spoke to was that "almost six out of ten men had drunk the equivalent of four pints in one session over the past year...and more than a third of women had drunk the equivalent of three pints..." While such facts seem pretty normal to a young student population, the report emphasises the risks of the effects of drinking on people, and the way they act. Drunkenness, it stresses, is "risky not just for individuals, but for families. workplaces and...communities." These allegations are supported by reports that more than a third of the British population had witnessed fights between people who had been drinking. This is coupled with the fact that a similar quantity of people admitted to starting drinking with the intention of getting drunk despite 31% of men saying that they felt more aggressive after drinking. Finally the report endeavours to show that "getting drunk needn't be an inevitable part of having a good time." But, with the Christmas party season approaching fast, the general consensus that being drunk is "part of the English way of life" will be difficult to suppress. Nonetheless, the HEA does issue a substantial list of "tips to survive the party season," including taking days off from drinking, and being more careful at home, where measures tend to be poured bigger. Benefits derived from avoiding excessive drinking are cited to be clear headedness, fewer arguments and a more pleasurable sex life. It is difficult to say whether this HEA report and campaign succeeds in really encouraging people to drink less over the Christmas period or whether it just meets with apathetic dismissal at what may be seen as over paternalistic kill-joy propaganda. However, the central concern of the campaign launched last week is simply to raise awareness of the potential harm caused by drunkeness, in an attempt to minimise dangers and harmful consequences. Andrew Yule All chip in for SOAS sit-in Stuart Locke Students at the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS) have been occupying their library since Thursday 20th November in order to regain free and unrestricted access to Senate House library. Until the start of the academic year all students at the school had access to the library. This was withdrawn, and under the present proposals the majority of students would have to pay up to £80 for access. SOAS management claim that funding full access would cost the school £150,000. However according to the SOASSU Press Office, if the cost per-student rate were to be the same as that paid by UCL this figure could drop to £49 000. Thus they claim that the SOAS management has not been negotiating hard enough for a fair price. The student union at SOAS debated the tactic of occupation in three separate union meetings. The first two voted unanimously for occupation while in the third, which led directly to the occupation won an overwhelming majority of well over one hundred. The students took over their library in the main building and proceeded to keep it open 24 hours a day. Though the SOAS management shut off the library's Libertas system, and threatened that any issuing of library books would be considered theft, the students proceeded to assist users by fielding card enquiries, reshelving books, and accepting books for return. All management were banned from entering the library. All decisions on how the library was to be run and what the priorities were for the occupation were taken by a majority vote at three daily meetings. In the first four days of occupation the student union had received a message of support from SOAS staff UNISON. Further messages of support had been received from over twenty student unions around the country, including the LSESU. The occupation has also got the support of Kentish Town Women's Centre and five members of the NUS executive, as well as one Labour MP - Jeremy Corbyn - who was due to visit the site on Tuesday morning. The occupation was issued with a court summons which was heard last Tuesday. A further 150 students were offered access to the Senate House Library by the School authorities, but this offer was rejected by the occupying students in an open vote. It was seen as nothing more than a feeble gesture. The Occupation for Access Campaign state that the occupation has become more than just about Senate House library. Their bulletin last week says "it is vital every opportunity is taken to resist the introduction of the market into higher education. Market reforms... have to be resisted in order to secure decent re.sources I- ixti tSiSS 800KSHS|« .SGas "frary today 24 hours (Odgiy ^hoitrs SOAS 1 Lifararv | 24 hoiffii (JSC it-- -___¦ ¦¦ ¦ ¦'¦¦¦• ¦ ' • _^_ for all" The occupation estimates that around 150 students had been involved in occupying the library by Tuesday, though hundreds more had used the library under occupation. At a mass meeting open to all students last Monday there was a ringing endorsement of the actions taken as 202 students voted for the continuation of the occupation while just 7 voted against. The students confidence was further I P'BWWiSI boosted by the prospect of thousands of students demonstrating just around the corner from SOAS in the national demonstration against tuition fees as pressure increased on the management. Whether the occupation at SOAS wins or not, the popular and widespread student support received shows that action-based student protest is not dead and a student body often seen as apathetic may be proving itself otherwise. Archives From this week: 2 December 1975 Beaver News appeared to be dominated by stories of a racial orientation in December 1975. Many people were blaming overseas students for "mistakes" in the British economy. It was evident that Government plans to raise tuition fees was the idea behind moves to prevent foreign students from studying in England. Criticism was directed at the LSESU and its failure to defend the overseas student contingency, despite the LSE's traditional reputation for integration. In the background of tuition fees and the appearance of discrimination, the Beaver argued that it was "the duty of the Union" to defend its colleagues. An LSE Postgraduate student was "brutally beaten" on the Underground on Tuesday 25 November, whilst passengers stood by and read their newspapers. The Iranian student was attacked by four men to racist cries of "bloody wog" and "alien." The student was rushed to hospital, and fortunately only had bruises. Wynn Tollman, the student responsible for the Shop and Florries (coffee bar) resigned. Tollman said that academia and management of the Shop and Florries "demands more time than I am able to give." He submitted his resignation to General Secretary, Crispin O'Brien, and a by-election was to be held the following temi. The main pages of the Beaver, were however filled with details and celebrations of a much coveted "Festival Week." Jokes, Quotes, Truisms and Joke Ads were the order of the week. One of the Classified Ads stated: " Going cheap: two Sabs. Must Clear soon for new stock. The jokes bordered from the political-"Why have they killed all the cats in China?" " They won't say Mao property" to the less conventional: " An LSE student and a monkey were in a spacecraft half way to Mars. The monkey opened his book of instructions, which read: "set projectory for 303deg, computerise information, and check voluntary controls." The student than opened his book of instructions which read : "Feed the monkey." Dttara Ranasinghe Plastic not fantastic Noise O'Lougfilin Following lobbying by the LSE Green Action! Society and open mindedness on the part of the SU Cafe manager, the Cafe has begun supplying hot drinks in reusable cups starting from Monday. 24 November. This will hopefully reduce Cafe costs as well as wa.ste in the long run, thus making both environmental and economic sense. It would be helpful if the fears of the Cafe management over students stealing cups did not materialise, as that would impose considerable replacement costs on the Cafe and threaten the scheme. The LSE Green Action Society is seeking to reduce the unnecessary waste output of LSE. Issues such as the lack of recycled paper copying facilities offered by the SU printshop, the practice of printing lecture notes on recycled paper and the ' "inadequate" can recycling facilities offered by the school are matters of concern to them. UNION JACK lack wa.s unmoverf to, the point : wife's UtM. S0 lie rwitb a'heal?? heart wd ft p, only to te prcs^tJy by one ^ How better to begia than liy RiliatiBg. t]>e- Geo; .Se^! After -week&- <4 fning and cajoling, NarittsstE* finaU^ ag, A BJOvteg teadilim ef a song calte lack aware la e of the ofiicers , ituk is < sMsiops the btag Otorktuit Gidtlena. leav^l righiv wife iswu'ia < (lill, for < It Ixwni I tte JJSK bo# i»ai»S la the Tuns everir f'riday by sheeii WJftvisn iitnpulse. »«her any < Kkby bottntas4 ai> on ss«se like 1 t bail y«ni to iMJri far out duate officer. . Ualiie Euni<;}s^' te (if H Is, hi') is no iteiMitgtt of jKsstftadtiatM.: : iazy ^ with jpcrsotwJity diioirfers. (Watch tliei aow) toastmg! ,ara - who had 8$>|>8reinly «keady beert sAtffed hy BtaaHiairttt.Barety had the UlSMt from saMlon (0^^ fingers wp tfse *h»B another Wii pandered in. As LOB O^cr • tibey do say ^hc OW ettesi are the best. Sadly tbc LOB; muster: the, :^fcetl:;ranfcs of tbei pn'<^ Tliey imme^aitety added attttngth io ithek argument that some: B&W Sabbs are ifable-to support the demo. Going in a personal wouM not hawheen appropriate,. s The demonstration nevertheless appears to have been successful. Fitrther jueasures have been planned in line with Weifk of Action this week. meationetl elsewhere out tins page and l also outlioed the wgujtienf for tbi», in my a«ic{e, so shaM not .myself. Btit 1 would o«ce again urge you to Join us IB our campaign to force the govetnment to rethink its policy. The Equal Opporiuoifies Officer Stadeats' fesues) shall be th« Vnion Council ajeeting tbis week. I to. mature: students who've: had to wait s<) far. but the officer «}ec^ last teitn left the School leaving the fCdition vacant so far. Please; contact the officer via the SU. Re^ption, pigeottii iiole, if you have any probl^s otissues t^ «aise. ¦ . :v. . -I ' ;motiiey matters, the; Annual Budget Meeting shall be held this Thursday, ft is very important that you attend and have your: say in how the Union spends your wnej/. As for societies,; Imogen Bathurst Treasurer and the Finance Gominittee have task with the demand being .twice %e amount of resources at our disposal. We have tried to be as fair as possible under the circumstances, but if .you feel, you're still uttsatisfied, an amendment can be proposed and voted upoiflu.Lv:;.- ¦¦ ! The amalgamation »f red and blue on the national political front .seems to have seeped through to all waiy of life ... the Beaver front page bcing:lhe latest case in point! Whether it reflects the Editor's ppKtifrW Spectrutn point, but brilliant in design it certainly is aiKl liopefuily will be strpiil contettder in the iStudent newspaper ;aw4rds- THURSDAY 4 DECEMBER A86 -• -630PM-8.30 PM > NUMBERS ARE LIMITED CALL IMOGEN BATHURST OR RITA OSCAR (LAW SOCIETY) 320 5794 LSE STUDENT'S UNION SHOP DON'T LEAVE YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING TO THE LAST MINUTE, WHY NOT VISIT US TO BUY THAT IDEAL GIFT WE HAVE A LARGE SELECTION OF LSE MEMORABILIA AND CLOTHING IN STOCK NOW SO DON'T DELAY A LARGE CHOICE OF CHARITY CHRISTMAS CARDS AND WRAP IS ALSO AVAILABLE BUY YOUR DURACELL BATTERIES FOR CHRISTMAS NOW DIN'T FORGET OUR DURACELL PRIZE DRAW FOR THE MOUNTAIN BIKE IS TO BE MADE DECEMBER 8 YOU'VE GOT TO BE IN IT, TO WIN IT!! THE BEAVER Editorial Staff Executive Editor Craig Newsome Advertising l\/lanager Moshe Merdler News Editors Andrew Yule Chris Roe Political Editor Simon Retallack Economic Editor Hector Birchwood International Editor Mathieu Bobbins Fashion Editor Daniela Ott Features Editor Nadezda Kinsky Arts Editors Yasmine Chinwala Mark Pallis Music Editor Zak Shaikh Campus Editor Vicky Seabrooke Sports Editors Jannes Mulligan Matt Sutton Photographic Editors Nina Duncan Ralph Achenbach Collective Amir Absood. Narius Aga. Anton Sebi Ahmed, Shaista Ahmed. Mark Antony. Sherrina Antiwar. Shama Aslam. David Bakstien, David Balfour, Mark Baltovlc. Laure Beaufils, Faten Bizzari. Jonathan Black. Matthew Brough. Miriam Chalabi, Liz Chong. Peter Clegg. Jonathan Cooper, James Crabtree. Dev Cropper, Am't Desai, Malte Gerhold. Deborah Goldemberg. Shabnum Hasan. Caroline Hooton. Twyla Huang. Tani Hussein. Helen Jamieson, Dana Johnson. Tasha Kosviner. Michael Kugler. Dan Lam. Philip Lam. Daniel Lewis, Becky Little. Fredrik Ljone Hoist. Kenneth Lo. Kevin Lui. Dan Madden, Baljit Mahal. Anita Maiumdar, Ben Newton Mateo Paniker, Zoe Peden. Keith Postler. Dhara Ranasinghe. Zaf Rashid. Ruthless Rich. Nick Robin, Da Roche. Brice-Alban Roualec, Suni! Sodha, Silvia Santoro, Graham Stevenson, Chris Sutcliffe, Jamie Tehrani, Peter Udeshl. Gulshan Verma. Julia Vowles. Joy Wangdi. Matthew Wilkins. The Beaver is published by the London School of Economics Students" Union and printed by Newstax. of Unit 16. Carpenters Road, Bow Industrial Park. London E15. It can be contacted at 0181 986 3130. The Beaver can be contacted on 0171 95^ 6705 and by fax on 0171 955 7717. The Beaver does not hold responsibility for breaches of the copyright law. Responsibility for such proceedings shall lie with the persons concerned. The editor can be contacted by email at beaver@lse.ac.uk LETTERS Issue 473 THE BEAVER DECEMBER 2 Dear Beaver, My, my what a big furore comments since that pesky little Cypriot motion all those weeks ago. Being an unreasonable Cypriot I must of course have the last word. Yes, it is appalling that they only go once a year and miss out the rest of the time blah, blah. Yes they have behaved atrociously, talking through other motions passing theirs then storming out. Its the Cypriot way, a sort of "don't give a fuck cos the rest of the world doesn't give a fuck about us" attitude. I'm not saying it's right, just that being Cypriot, I understand why they think that way. If it is worth anything, the Committee of the Cypriot Society convey its apologies to the union for this behaviour. (Narius can confirm this) but what you people persistently fail to see is that criticising Cypriot students and not the Cyprus issue itself, is discrimination. The debate over the past few weeks has had little to do with the Cyprus problem and a lot to do with Cypriot-bashing. (I won't say racism, its such an emotive term and racists never admit to being racist or even understand what this means anyway. Union Jack made an excellent point about the UGM's treatment of race in his last column.) What the Cypriot were angry at. was the hostility with which the UGM treated their motion. Just be honest and admit it, you pre-judged them before our speaker even opened her mouth. It was "bloody Cypriots, back again, same old motion, Turk bashers, foreign invasion of 'our' UGM. Leave us alone once and for all" wasn't it? I'm trying not to be judgmental and I'm not saying you're not entitled to such opinions, its the hypocrisy and moralising from the likes of Mark, Kingsley, Union Jack (some bits. Jack, like the Cypriots, make some good points but makes them badly) and others that bugs me. Especially Mark. Contrary to your unbelievable letter in last week's Beaver the 'Union resolves' of your non-racist undiscriminatory 2nd amendment did read "that no Cypriot motion is submitted ever again." Is it too much to expect a bit of honesty from a Conservative? As for the first amendment I respect the spirit in which it was tabled but it betrayed a lack of understanding of the issue, it was clearly anti-Cypriot not anti-"anti-Cyprus in the EU" as you yourself admitted. I personally do regret some of the wording of the Cyprus motion (my fault), it did leave us open to the usual accusations of Turk bashing. Sincerely, I wish I could be more conciliatory and less critical. Sometimes you forget that what you're fighting for is an undivided bicommunal peaceful Cyprus when you know after 23 years of negotiations and endless compromise that the Turkish authorities simply aren't interested in any solution. Why should they be, they got what they wanted. That's not just my opinion, read the UN Secretary General's 1993 report on why there hasn't been a solution to the Cyprus problem yet; he blamed it solely on " a lack of political will be the turkish side" - UN words not mine. Its hard to keep in mind that you're supposed to stay on friendly terms with the Turkish Cypriots in order to make this united harmonious Cyprus possible when your hopes for such a solution are dashed time and time again. However, if you actually talk to Cypriots about the issue (when you've got off your high horses and finished picking at their faults) you'll find that most of them don't hate anyone, they just want to go home. I was pretty upset at the name calling (I suppose I imagined hearing "you kebabs/kalamari' etc... did I Mark?) and hostility at the UGM and someone said to me "Are we supposed to feel sorry for you because you are a Kebab?" No, don't. But have some humanity. Take sometime to learn about Cyprus, yes, in the past the Greek Cypriot side has made some grave mistakes, but they're been paying for them ever since. Today, there are Turkish Cypriots living and working in unoccupied Cyprus alongside their Greek Cypriot neighbours. They worship at the Turkish mosque in Larnaca unharassed. We can live in peace, because we do. And for all your moralising has anyone ever bothered to ask the LSE Turkish contingent what they really think? I know, because I've talked to some of them, which is more than I can say for Mark et al. So please drop the 'holier than thou' attitude, see yourselves for what you really are and if you really care try actually finding out what the Cyprus issue is really about. The truth is that most of you just don't care. I didn't see any of the hacks at last year's debate between the Greek and Turkish sides and yet there we had the Tories mandating Narius to arrange another for their benefit, which no doubt would not have been attended anyway, if anything has come out of the past few weeks slagging matches it's that for all your criticisms of the Cypriots, founded and unfounded, most of you know precious little about the Cyprus problem, and care even less. yours Maria Neophytou Student line problems at Bankside Dear Editor, I am a Bankside resident and have not received any sufficient service from student line since the beginning of this academic year. The company has not been able to bring my line alive although I have complained repeatedly. This in itself is difficult as Student Line has no operating voice mail in its calling centred and is systematically understaffed. Their fax doesn't really work either, however, it was the most successful way of communication. That doesn't mean much as their staff has proven to be friendly but incapable of getting my phone to work. Student Line is a perfect example for the abuse of a monopoly position. We, the customers, have no choice and that is how they allow themselves to treat us. No company which had to compete for customers would maintain services as bad as student line. Raimund Schmoize Make the Beaver funny! Italian Society's Pasta Evening, not a success Dear Beaver, We would like to complain about the treatment and indifference we were subjected to at the 'Pasta Evening' organised by the Italian Society on Tuesday 25 November. For no justifiable reason our table was consistently ignored when food was being served. We were served a first course of an advertised three courses, but there were five of us on our table and after four of us had been served one of us had to tell a member of the Italian Society serving to give a plate of pasta to the fifth person, as she wanted to give it to another table. Despite a few reassurances by one sympathetic person who was serving, we did not get served anything else, though tables around us received portion after portion. When we complained one member of the society answered that we would not get any more food in a restaurant for the money we had paid, at £7-a-head we beg to differ. However, It is the principle that is at stake. Why was everyone else being served and free to take bottle after bottle of wine? If we were cynical we could conclude that we weren't served-because we weren't Italian and there weren't any women on our table. Even when desert was being served, after we had already complained, we were still ignored so we complained again. By this time we were so fed up and hungry that we did not pursue finding the person who was ultimately responsible for the evening, but thought complaining to one of the students serving food would be enough as they would feel some sense of sympathy. Instead, the member of the Italian Society was rude, claimed we were lying and offered no apology. So, at 10pm we left hungry and cheated out of £35. The irony is that we were the first people to arrive and the lesson is that nation-based societies make the LSE even more divided and a discretionary system of serving food should not be allowed for society events. How disgusting! Yours sincerely, James Damon Can Esenbel Nick Malkoutzis Raj Roy Peter Udeshi Dear Beaver There are a number of issues that 1 wish to bring up concerning recent articles in your paper. I. In my third year at the LSE, there are worrying signs that the Beaver is losing the very principles which myself and numerous other students have come to love it for. Save for the sports and music pages, 1 fear that the articles have begun to take on a far too serious tone at the expense of light-hearted humour. There was a time when, on a Tuesday afternoon, you could escape from the hell of BLPES and lectures to the sanctity of the silly world that is the LSESU newspaper. There was plenty of gossip (a lot of it fabricated of course) where now there are deep philosophical write-ups on Africa, the Middle East and Animal and Gay Rights. While these may be pertinent issues concerning a number of students, I feel the balance between the serious and the tongue-in-cheek articles has been lost. Please, please, please ... bring back the laughter! 2. Speaking of Gay Rights, I had great sympathy for Chris Rouse in his article endorsing gays in the military. That was until I read his closing remarks on LSE's "Neanderthal Ruggerbuggers". Chris, you only proved your own shocking hypocrisy by "inflicting [your] narrow-minded, dogmatic prejudices onto the rest of society and any minority group that gets in [your] way..." (sound familiar?) Yes, I am an LSE Rugby player and 1 would like you to know that 2 out of the 7 final-year club members last season graduated with 1st Class degrees. Real Neanderthals, eh. 3. What has Houghton Street Harry been smoking recently? If HRH is unwilling to do his job and give his tainted (but witty) views on current LSE trends/gossip rather than re-write Aesop's fables, then he should bloody well hang up his typewriter and take a bow! 4. Union Jack - you're just not funny any more. Yours Ikenna Iroche PS Before relevant parties start calling for my head, these statements are all intended as constructive criticisms. Jack Replies: Is there no beginning to your constructive criticism? The point of my column is to provide an intelligent yet sardonic commentary on Union activities. The point of your music reviews is to rape the English language whilst adhering to an aesthetic which your public school background can never justify. So Jack wasn;t that funny last week. This week is a whole different level of humour. In future, please keep your constructive criticism to ridiculing Bernardo. Such is the role of good journalism. Jack Letters can be spent by email to beaver@lse.ac.uk. The deadline for letters is Thursday at 6pm THE BEAVER DECEMBER 2 - Issue 473 LETTERS 7 Labour Club talk back Inaccuracies highlighted on the fashion page Dear Editor, In reply to Narius Aga's letter in last week's Beaver. We in the Labour Club oppose tuition fees. We oppose them not because we have some misty eyed nostalgic vision of the Labour Party, when it supposedly granted students their every wish and command. We are proud to support the Government and the changes Tony Blair has made to our party in recent years. We oppose fees because they are out of synch with so much of the good work being done by Labour on education. Education is being used to build the 'New Britain' that 'New Labour' stands for. It is being used to include the excluded, high standards are being demanded in schools so that no-one need suffer because they were brought up in a rough area and had to attend a 'sink' .school. Welfare- into- work is providing the long term unemployed with more skills, the universities however, are the missing link in this chain. It is apparent that the fees are excluding many potential students rather than including them. It is completely wrong for Narius to say that "Education, education, education equals Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks" Compared to his previous contributions on the subject it may be .scaling new heights of eloquence and oratory, but it's just plain wrong. Yes, the government have got it wrong on fees. But they have also got a lot right. Narius should start trying to win the argument on fees rather than just hurling insults an lies at a Prime Minister with a personal approval rating at 93 per cent. Yours, Joe Roberts Dear Beaver I'm sorry if this message contains nothing even remotely close to funny.In last week's UGM, a motion appeared on the order paper. Which is in itself not unusual, that's what the order paper is for. Unusual was the content of this particular motion. It was arguably written in humourous intent. Well, then so was "Mein Kampf. This motion, submitted by Jake Tyshaw and Paul Ashcroft, calls for the "Redistribution of Convenience Stores" (Comer shops, in Britain), and is supposed to highlight the perceived injustice caused to Whites in Africa by the UGM's rejection of the motion on land redistribution in Zimbabwe two weeks ago. The current the motion stipulates that wealthy Britons of Asian origin should be expropriated of their "Corner Shops" (the notion that all Asian Britons operate such shops is in itself derogatory and racist), and that these be given to poor white Britons. The entertainment value of this motion only becomes apparent when compared to that of say a gas chamber. Let me explain the real issue at stake once again; though obviously not to Jake, as he has proven himself to be of sub-amoeboid intelligence. Dear Beaver, With regard to Daniela's article entitled 'Fashion Murder Mystery' I think that there are certain fundamental inaccuracies that must be indicated so as to show just how useless this article really is: 1)You do not spell his name 'Giani' but 'Gianni', I think that it is quite ironic that if you have such much praise and admiration for the designer you spell his name wrong. I think there is a certain lack a respect for the poor dear here somehow. 2) Why write the article now? Has it taken Daniela this long to wade through the various articles, obituaries and new reports from which to base her story on. Although it is very admirable that she has attempted to write about a tragic story of a man who was needlessly murdered, I do not think that she has been at all sensitive. Any person who was writing a kind of tribute of someone they admired would not be as crass as saying that their idol lay there 'with blood and brain matter spilt all over the white stairs.' There are subtler ways of describing someone's death. 3) Does Versace stand for of IS The Government of Zimbabwe has decided to embark on a programme of land redistribution. It has listed for partial expropriation persons owning above a certain amount of land. 98% of these people happen to be white. The Government has indeed made some compulsory purchases, though even The Economist newspaper believes that a fair market price has been paid. President Mugabe has said that if there will be no assistance forthcoming from Britain, expropriation without remuneration will be considered. No such action has as yet been taken. The Government of Zimbabwe did indeed invite whites to stay in the country after independence in 1980. Because this was stipulated under the 1979 Constitutional Agreement between Britain and Zimbabwe. The British colonial administration had preferentially been giving land to white settlers well into the seventies, and then made their security of tenure a condition of independence. Go figure. Matthias Mennel, LSESU Executive Committee 'expensive Haute Couture'. I think that she has underestimated the whole Versace empire as a whole. Besides, the haute couture line was only a fairly recent innovation; Versace's signature line was the line that made him famous (i.e. pret-a-porter). Nevertheless, Versace is a whole world, accessible to people from all backgrounds - just how many diffusion lines are there? Versace means sex, drugs and shopping - which you could say was a revolt against the ancien regime of fashion at the time. A beautiful existence where rock stars shimmy in a world of luxury. Indeed, you could argue that Versace stands for a certain 'nostalgic de la boue' -ambitious chiefly to turn men into studs and women into wholly inobscure objects of desire, typified by the photographic campaigns of Richard Avedon and Bruce Weber. When I went to the 1993 Versace show in Milan, I was amazed by the atmosphere - rock 'n' roll, vulgar and loud. He certainly did know how to put on a show - the booking of the models Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington, Linda Evangeliste and Cindy^^rawford set him back $100,000 alone! 4) One could argue that it was more than just 'decadent clothing' as was Ri^ Fashion Dear S Tang Thanks very much for your interesting letter and the effort, time and energy you have sacrificed to comment on my article. I would like to take up some of your points stated and comment on them. 1. It seems from your way of writing and from your attitude that you have some insider information as Press Attache for a "well known fashion house". However, if you spent your Saturday evenings with the press officer of Antonio Berardi, you should know -and I am sorry to correct you - that Berardi is spelt with two 'r'. However, you are right - Gianni is spelt with two ns, sorry to Gianni and all the Beaver readers! By the way if we have to talk about this minor unimportant subject of spelling mistakes - Linda Evangelista is spelt with an 'a' at the end and not with an 'e' as you wrote. Also in your 6th point you meant perhaps 'What does she...' while writing 'What does show...'... 2.1 am sorry that the ironic points in this article weren't obvious enough for you to spot. I was writing in glossary about Versace and the circumstances of his death. When I wrote that "Versace's blood and brain went all over the stairs", I wanted to raise the seriousness of his death. If I did hurt anyone's feeling by that 1 would like to make a formal apology for this. 3. I have to tell you the truth - there are people "from all backgrounds" who can not afford Gianni Versace. There are written in the article. It has been often cited by authorities such as Colin MacDowell that Versace could been associated with 'the label-ridden harbinger if Thatcherite materialism in the late 1980s'. Hilary Alexander said (in a somewhat complimentary way) that Versace designed 'salacious fashion'. I think that Versace was more than decadent clothing by the fact that he and others (like Giorgio Armani and Ralph Lauren) were less retrospective in their design, and more forward thinking. In a sense, Versace was cutting edge ... without slavishly following outlandish catwalk diktats. He created a new aspect of fashion which has certainly been carried on today - past the booming 1980s and into the more refined 1990s. 5) Another spelling error: it is not 'Antonio Banderi' but 'Antonio Beradi'. This is the second week that this 'rumour' about Beradi going to Versace. I suppose that Desdemona and Daniela read the same Sunday Times Style & Travel article that everyone (including myself) read. Well put it this way, what is the point of just regurgitating something to make yourself look really 'into fashion' when you have no foundation for such people, believe it or not - who have to spent their money economical on good quality and reasonable priced fashion-and for sure the really bad quality of the Versace Jeans Collection - which is for sure one of the cheaper lines - is not what they qualify as money well spent. 4. I even know that Linda Evangelista , Cindy Crawford & Co ... set him back $100,000 alone. So if you would please keep to your own critics and don't repeat what "everybody" knows. If I wanted to provide factual information in my article about how much Versace paid his models, I would refer my readers to Press Packs or the Time Magazine Cover story on his death which you apparently have read from top to bottom and are now quoting from in your letter to me. 5. Further I would like to make you aware of the fact that there are some people in LSE who know that Gianni Versace died, however don't know the circumstances. Hence I would like you bear in mind that some people are not as interested in fashion as you and also are not that well-informed. Therefore, not "everyone" - as you stated in your letter - reads the Sunday Times Style & Travel magazine. You seem to be ahead of me -as unfortunately I have not read the Sunday Times Style & Travel magazine lately. People came back to me and told me that they found the Versace article entertaining and interesting. Yes, I do go out and ask people what do they think about the fashion page and their articles and what they would like to read there. allegations other than an article in a magazine? I could say what was said between me and Antonio's press officer last Saturday night, but that would be giving it away! 6) What does show mean by 'corrupt and brutal fashion world'? Yes, I can quite agree with her, given the tragedy of Mario Sorrenti's brother, and the near -tragedy of Bijou Phillips. Yes, there is two-facedness and general bitchiness, but how different is the fashion business compared to other 'cut-throat businesses'. If she believes that fashion is like an ongoing soap opera with death here, envy there, then why not include all the boardroom battles, backhanders and deceit that happens in big business - look at Yamaichi! Daniela, why don't you write something that people in general (yes, I'm not talking here like a pompous fashion bitch) don't already know about? Yours sincerely, S,Tang I try to write the Beaver fashion page for the majority of the LSE students. I want the LSE (Student) newspaper fashion page to be a glossary about everything which contains fashion or relates to it. It should be both funny and entertaining. In LSE, there are not enough people interested in Fashion as deep ly as you are - not too many people can actually afford Designer clothes. Therefore my aim is to create a fashion page -1 know the fashion page is still relatively new -which is accessible for everyone including anyone who does not have the background knowledge or any insider information into the fashion world. I believe that this is representative of most LSE students. It would be nice to see your vast knowledge and your energy spent actually on the fashion page in an article rather than to force the readers to go back to the Letters-to-the-Editor section. By the way 1 don't think you are talking like a "pompous fashion bitch" -quote from your letter - as I do not allow myself to judge you on these two letters. So far I am still waiting for your reply of my email which I sent to you on Wednesday 26 November. Yours sincerely Daniela Redistribution Corner Shops wrong to Reply: Daniela Ott, Editor, answers her critic 8 GALLERY THE BEAVER Issue 473 - DECEMBER 2 Photo's by Nina Beauty is in the eye of tiie beholder p i gS'TO .1-'' .r-:;« > * li 7/ iS", ^ 'iT^X ;»>' > '•V. >sK,x ,'^i "If >7.: ""A > »14 , 1 ^ w ! jp t < » ¦' J' %t> I The Beaver is live with i Supergrass 'nrnc Single and album reviews ', i ' }i^ .* *•«, / '' $i '5iJ' , Wallace and Gromit Live at the Peacock Bart takes a look at what's hot in Opera } V - LITERARY Bart- DEC 2 - 473 Open for Socialism Stuart Locke on books for Christmas and where to buy them ft he recent release of a large "^¦^inumber of new books for ^ socialists and trade unionists had ^ coincided with the opening of the first left-wing bookshop in Central London for ten years. Only ten minutes walk from the London School of Economics, and virtually opposite High Holborn Hall at 1 Bloomsbury St. Bookmarks has already proved immensely popular with acadcmics and the general public. This is in stark contrast to the prevailing ideology in colleges and universities, and the popularity of the bookshop is the antithesis of what we see in mainstream politics every day. If those on the left accept that Blair is all conquering they accept that there is nothing we can do about the crisis we see all around us, Blair himself said he looked towards the Asian tigers as a model for how the British economy should function. These very same economies are now in the greatest crisis for decades! The Economics department at the LSE will (in general) tell you that the free market can solve all such problems. Yet they would not have predicted the crisis in the Far East only a few short weeks ago. One of the highlights at Bookmarks is an extensive economics section. Certainly this is a pole of attraction - the main reason being, as Paul Ormerod puts it in The death of economics "The world economy is in crisis. Twenty million people are unemployed in Western Europe... America faces two severe deficits... In this grim context the opinion of economic gurus increasingly dominate business, politics and international affairs. Yet orthodox economics seems powerless to help." Perhaps we should look elsewhere for an explanation. Karl Marx for example noted in Capital "Business always appears almost excessively sound right on the eve of a crash... Business is always thoroughly sound until the debacle takes place." Prophetic words in so many cases! The best short introductions to Marx's economic ideas are Wages, nrices and profit and Wage labour and capital. In Economics of the madhouse. Chris Harman explains brilliantly why the modern world is in crisis and why crises occur. Meanwhile The law of accumulaffon by Henryk Grossman is a more controversial theoretical elaboration of Marx's account of capitalist crisis. Professor Meghnad Desai of the LSE. a fan of Bookmarks, has offered to give lunchtime lectures there. though these are yet to bt confinned. Six months after the landslide election of the first Labour Government for eighteen years there are a whole range of questions to be answered. Leading New Siate.sman journalists Paul Anderson and Nyta Maiui have written the first extensive book on new Labour in government, titled "Safety First - the exist in the Labour Club at the LSE (officially! - nudge...) Bookmarks' section on the Labour Party is but a subsection of their section on British History. There are several great books on the English revolution. Brian makinn of new Labour" In this you'll find out that Peter Mandleson, the governments chief spin doctor, once flogged the Communist Party's paper, the Morning Star, outside Kilburn tube station. Similarly, there is an account of speeches by Gordon Brown, David Blunkett, lack Straw, John Prescott. Robin Cook, and even Tony Blair, each of which would bar them from getting selected as Labour candidates today, thus illustrating the route travelled by so many who start out wanting to change capitalism through electoral and parliamentary means. Other books of interest on the Labour Party are The Labour Partv: a Marxist analysis by Tony Cliff and Donny Gluckstein which traces the politics and history of the Labour Party from Keir Bardie to Tony Blair, and Who goes home? a candid biography by Roy Hattersley showing the tensions between old and new Labour. The same tensions which do not introduces the different class forces in the revolution in Aristocrats, plebeians and revolution in England, while Christopher Hill's excellent all round introduction The F.nolish Revolution 1640 is one of several books by him on the first British revolution. George Dangerfield's witty account of the turbulent years before World War I, The Strange Death of Liberal England, is an absolute classic. More recent history includes Dangerous Men by John Newsinger, which is a well written account of the SAS. This book takes on board and challenges the media myths about them. For those who turn to the back page of The Beaver first, and happen to have made their way this far down this —tide, there is Anyone hut England v Mike Marqusee, a socialist history of cricket, exposing its snobbery and .acism, and Moving the goalposts by i^d Horton, where he asks "What's one wrong with football?' and concludes that there are serious ¦jroblems with the games commercial )riorities and points the finger of blame fairly and squarely at the new breed of chief executives and chairmen who care nothing for the game. Jookmarks also has a section on women's liberation. Indeed one of lie highlights of its first two months of opening will be on the Friday 5th December at 6pm when Sheila Kowbotham will be reading from and signing copies of her new book, A century of women. Lindsey German's Sex, class and ;ocialism is essential reading for inypne who wishes to fight for women's liberation. She examines the theory of patriarchy which has •ihaped much of feminist thinking, and shows how the unequal position of women in society is rooted in the family. Far.froni having won women's liberation Lindsey argues that we face a backlash against the gains of the century. In assessing recent developments, this book argues that only socialism can bring women's liberation. The eightieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution coincides with a range of books on the issue. By far the best is The history of the Russian revolution by Leon Trotsky, in a new edition. This book could take the whole article to review, so I will simply limit myself to describing it as the most essential book ever written on the subject. Victor Serge's Revolution in danger is a collection of essays from an eye-witness never before seen in English, A truly inspiring collection! There is also an new illustrated collectors edition of Ten days that shook the world - an eyewitness account by American journalist John Reed, The Guardian's reporter in Russia, Morgan Phillips Price, had his correspondence from the revolution censored, and it was only made available this year. You can read it in Dispatches from the revolution. New Left Review editor, Robin Blackburn, and Robert Service, lecturer at the School of Eastern European and Slavonic studies, debate with John Rees. editor of the International Socialism journal, in In defence of October. John Rees defends the attacks on the October revolution. These are but the highlights of extensive ranges on all these subjects, and there are also sections on North America, Latin America, Africa, Asia, Imperialism, Philosophy, Science (Steven Rose will be giving an illustrated talk on his new book Lifelines, biology, freedom, determinism on 16th December), Culture, Fiction, Lenin, Trotsky and Children's books. Further, there is an extensive (and cheap) second hand and remainder section. Bookmarks also houses the only model in the world of the Tallin tower. This is Vladmir Tallin's planned monument to the third international and would have been the tallest building in the world housing a series of suspended glass buildings revolving at the pace of the planets. At the top it was to be a centre for mass communication, transmitting propaganda, and in the evening would become a giant outdoor cinema. It would project images and messages across the Moscow skies in letters of light. Velimer Khlebnikov called it "the main tree of consciousness" and said "the radio will forge the broken links of the world soul and fuse together all mankind" Such a monument would be ahead of its time in 1997, but the fact that it was conceived so many years ago is a testament to the struggle for socialism, • All in all, no ordinary bookshop! Go and see for yourself. Competition is on it's way Ptiotolibrary This is the all new Literary page!!! if you are interested in reviewing any books, or would like to write anything else related to Literature, or even writing something yourself. Come to the meeting on Mondays at 6pm in C023_ Bart- DEC 2 - 473 MUSIC A Life of XS? An Obituary of Michael Hutchence 22.01.1960-22.11.1997 [vii Saturday, the 22nd of November I of this year, Michael Hutchence was found dead in his hotel room in Sydney, hanged by a leather belt. Only 37 years old, the "sexiest man alive" (Paula Yates) put an end to the life of the "luckiest man alive" (Michael Hutchence) by apparently committing suicide. The charismatic lead singer of Australia's most successful rock band always did his best to live up to what is implicit in the name of his band, INXS. A rebel without a cause, leading a life fuelled by sex, drugs and alcohol and considering himself "bloody good at being a rock star". And while only this year he remarked that he was "never going to live my life as deemed appropriate", he finally died in the sad but most appropriate way for a rock star, in mysterious circumstances. Born in Sydney, Michael Hutchence in 1977 joined a band then known as the Farriss Brothers which one year later was to become INXS. The following years were marked by endlessly touring Australia, getting INXS's uncomplicated funk rock on stage in up to 300 dates a year. Though a first album was released in 1980 already, it took them until 1986 before they achieved their major breakthrough with the American top five single 'What you need' and the million-selling album 'Listen like thieves'. With this INXS entered the upward spiral of rock'n'roll's ruthless circus: By the end of the 80s they released the worldwide acclaimed 'Kick' and its follow-up 'X', marking the peak of their career with major sell-out stadium tours and the success of their greatest hits 'Need you tonight' and "Suicide blonde". While the rest of the band, that never changed its original line-up, remained in the background of show biz Michael Hutchence now enjoyed full celebrity status, knowing far too well of both his good looks and hard man arrogance. His turbulent lifestyle did not pass unnoticed and apart from several movie appearances and winning a Brit award he was a regular in the tabloids' gossip columns. However, after INXS' last chart-topping album 'Welcome to wherever you are' in 1993, their music faced decreasing interest. In the age of house and techno rock music went out of fashion and INXS showed lack of creativity to adjust to changing demands. Their last album, 'Elegantly wasted', released this spring, flopped. When rewarded with a Brit award by Michael Hutchence in 1995, Noel Gallagher as usual found the right words at the wrong time: "Has-been's giving awards to soon will-be's." Exactly. Even so, Michael Hutchence found continuous press coverage - though not in the music press - mainly due to his affairs with two stunning celebrities: Kylie Minogue and Helena Christensen. He lately hit the headlines again over his relationship with Paula Yates, then wife of Bob Geldorf, and over the following soap opera of legal fights and swapping houses. Last year Paula Yates gave birth to their daughter Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily and the couple announced to marry on Bora Bora next January. Music history has shown that it is death alone that turns great men and women into legends. From Joplin to Hendrix or Morrison to Lennon - the end of their worldly lives were the beginning of their spiritual lives in the minds of generations. Michael Hutchence decided to follow their footsteps, maybe afraid of staying behind. However, it remains questionable whether Hutchence had the same legendary status as those aforementioned stars received in their lifetime. In his suicide note Kurt Cobain wrote that "it's better to bum out than to fade away". On this Michael Hutchence once said that "pop eats its young, that's for sure." Whether he could not bear that over the last years he already began to fade away, to become a has-been, and thus decided to bum out before it was too late, we may never know. But we now do know that the words of a gifted singer and songwriter tumed into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Michael Hutchence is survived by Paula Yates and their 18-month-old daughter. Heavenly Hiraani. Malte Gerhold Island CJ^mpllation Trattsmlssleas Thne showcase of Island Records' finest: * is a vajiable selection, opening with Pulp's hottoitrable aitempt to make us respect our elders. Help The Aged. Most of its otter tracks are from newer; less wcU-established bands, such as) new-.signings j LK with Chicken Bone. I whkb iuUs you \ SiiKs a false sense of security, starting ) ;Naontl Persam! Twch y^i'h good, another American (well she sounds American) female singec-songwriter with & slightly aggressive' though perhaps seductive 'tone backed.by sub-Beck guitar work and Jeaii-crashing drums. I love ray work - p«s the belt.<4) , " '................. It an incredibly, easy- 'V . . Robert Miles feat.' R^ttiy Siedge Freedom * for IFreedoat .ys Robdt i^tes has :eti at woric. for months to produce; [his; hi': latest siijgle. eah;ri|ht,iaiid: pe/ E is a hot bed of :aniai retations. this is exactly the same kind of 'casio-keyhoard' OD-demo' boHocks Miles always churns oat. Annoying, repetitive, house friendly plink-plonk but this time with added obligatory female soul vocalist. The only justification for buying this is if you really enjoy hearing bands that sound like M-people. And if that^s the case you have tny pity. (2) (MB) Rachel Stamp tity Sweet Rose , -d|*his son^ a}| * eerie, : rock chorusefrJ'J^^tlg "y'&m throat dry, thirsty for more. Unfortunately, the other three tracks on the CD leave a sickly sweet taste in yotir moutli because tliey are more, like novelty bubble-gum pop records than hard tock. (7) , (SS) Clawfinger Biggest mi ifie Best Tell a joke tiark & once, it's funny. Tell it three times, and it's the most unfunniest joke that ever existed. Substitute ihe 'joke' in this .story to Ctawfinger's ttee albums (and before you smartarses ctjmraent, there ^ a tfifiference). yon'l! reali-se their brand of rap/ rock mnsic spat on by bitter vocal does worki but they've stuck with this idea since their conception. This song-is as good as all tf aui;rcssi\o as over. Machiiic Ik-ad haM' whippL'd anolhor lilllc ;.'L'm uhich features all ihosc classic Mil irademarks. bill with added anycr for gooil niL-asurc. If _\(ui ucie at one with the lions, um'd be lamiliar with Rob I Ixnn's \ocal si\le (ami his facial hair, for thai mallerl. but the unfricmilN yrowl still can't hide the nift> mclalwork that lies behind il. But if _\ou're not gonna bu\ it because of that, then at least check out the excellent co\er of Nir\ana's ".\et;ali\e Creep", which is a B-Side. I.u\Iv stuff. CJl . (.Stl) The 0 X-lHtas at Bob's Yon know its Christmas when titiyvbands who play the Water Rats every second week start releasing Christmas records, in a vain attempt to cash in on the season. This seems unlikely since the day 'The O' become any more than a pub band is the day Damon and Liam kiss and make up. ......UnHke:,the,: title, or the: ^hand's , reputation as mad cap loonies,: suggest, this is a very calming, serene affair which makes full use of that ubiquitoas Moog in a fashion which most band's can'tFor best results, play at very end of Christmas party.(5) . (SG) Grand Drive Ten it like it is if REM became old ar"' ''"".y fwould probably give the r m ic listening^ . touch.: Luckily, therte'5 no need for them, to do so because theiiWilson brothers and their males from Grand Drive had the idea firstV Tbeiif :debot single it/like i| --¦, ¦ ' is', released,yesterday,? combines The Eels with The Beautiful South and though it may featitte"thtee effortlessly perfect songs" (Melt^y Maker) 1 would rather agree to the ei^phasis on effortless. What a surprising coincidence then that theif record label decided to only release a limited editwn.{halja) of SCJS'Cds. Damn gotxl idea. (3) Lightning Seeds What You Say lis is not the classic, catdiy LightJung Seeds song that we have come to expect. It is more "You Showed Me'; rather than 'Life of Riley'/ It is not instantly likeable, untike some of the band's other offerings yet it has the ability to grow on yon very'easily. Broudie's dldSvery and vocals lead the single superblj?^ and are complemented well by the smooth background lyrics. The slow ps«e of the song adds al.so to the slightly melancholic tone of the tune. Overall, a strange.but-eventually enjoyable single from the Scousers. (7) (ME) Hinda Hicks Nothing To Lose (The IVIotion Picture Soundtracl() Very much in the style of Louise (ex-Eternal), Hinda attempts to sing a song that has absolutely no meaning, appealing mainly to tlie 'male ego' in the hope of making it big. To be fair, the tunc is^ OK, drowsy, slow and sickly romantic lyrics that are cringey. So Hinda, (pleaise change your name!), improve your lyrics, the music needs more violins instead of that keybbafd: crap, and may be,;we might hear more of you around. Good luck cos you're gonnaineed it. (4) : y (AnI) Pis .soundtrack i/ da Bomb! A conglontcraiion of sonic of the smooihcsi R'n'B. the slammingcsi swing, ihc dopcsi hip-hop and. of course, the obHgalory Miami Bass Jam. The title track i/ a Naughty By Nature joint and if you read last week's reviews, then u knowz Jus* how 1 feel about it. Also reviewed last week, wu/ da tracks by Queen Latifah and 911. God knows why they let those punks onto the CD! It's a fucked up world out there! Possibly tha diamond cut on da .soundtrack is "Not Tonight" featurin' a strong posse of hip-hop sistas droppin' mad lyrics in the nine?, l.il" Kim, Left I-'ye. Da Bial. Missy lillioi and Angie Martinez get bi/ee on dis remake of "Ladies N'ighi" by Kool and the (lang. h's followed sirS on by "C L' When L' (let There." yet another crossover hit fi'om Coolio. I)is jus' goes lo confirm my theoi'v that dis bui'glar turned entertainer is only in it fo" da dollar bill/, an^l nuttin" else (b\ ihe wa\. hear he got done fo" shoplifting last week? Once a i...). This track's got so much Chilli sauce ail over, it disguise^ the lack of an> real llava beneath the funkc breakdown and the catchy (read cliee/\) chorus - Ciangster's Paradise all over again! Dili D(i: icpra/ents on tha soundtrack sounding as wack-as-\ou-wanna-be but as always, tha beats i/ fis t't funke. Dogg Pound si\le. "'I'liii.u I'aradisi " is a funkc. upien)p(» \ihc In Ca/umc - .V- A'cWr.tjf/whiic "Way 2 Sdiicy" \y\ MAC A.K. i/ a lil" mo' ! funk wit" a lil" less tempo but jus' as di)pc. Ne\l on iha hit list i/ "Cni ¦. Down Willi Mv " b\ Anidii a , . swingin" jam b\ swingin' >isias which loses hrownie points for featuring a lame-a/ rap h\ limk\lini. .Still, ilicm girls can sing! "Poppi/i' T/kii r/y" h\ the ultimate pimp nigga. Oniii ".Inia " - i Join s making his comeback is ;i cin lo J: | quilc simply busi a nutt to. l)i>pc. [ Wickcd. 1 l\. I)ef - I can't come up ! wit" 'lutll Miperlaiivcs fo" ihis (rack. ! />./ Chirk Ktiii\ production i/ light as 1 .1 .Sciw's wallet and tha l>rics ... n's j ¦.////(<•" .A'/U'n. do I need lo Na> mo"? [ (Jmu/ Ciiy DJs hit u^ wi(" "Rciiu W. a jumping .Miami Bass track which is siricll) li»" \o" jeeps ;uk1 io' liia dancefh)ors. \Vherc"v Koute 69 \ou ask? Well, how low can u go? "ffil 'i.ni i'p" b\ Ma^ur P i/ nuich 2 much atui "\oi Tt}ni;^lu" bs hiuhihall tS: M./Cl i/ a thr(w\back to .Marvin C"ia>c. V'all rcmci\)bcr SiciMisonicy Thev ain"t ilcad >c(. "(io Swi.sa /" is old skool hip-hop the wax \o' nionis "n' \o' pops used la breakdance (o. conipleie wit" scratciiin" and ihiun machine. The last offering on this soundtrack. "Cr(i:y Maze" b\ Di's 'nc i/ one of (ha most beautiful songs I done heard in a long time, s'all. B> beautiful. I mean the music and the words behind tlie music - "Cr(/:y \l(i:c" i/ like Tracy Chapman wit' jus" a lil" mo' pi//a//. M> verdict on "Nothing To [.osc"? lU'^' I T NOW Mi rilAl TCKAS!!! Da Roach GLOBAL COMMUN(CATION DEDICATED ^sc your imagination, numbers are chosen lo identify separate tracks because names tend lo bias the listener to pre-defining images, places, and feelings. This gives the listener ihe freedom of iniagination to derive whatever he/she wishes from the music" Slow, slow and slow. Zak you're a dude! This cool, niellow. relaxing music is sure to put any baby to sleej'). for nie after a hard day at the LSE. and then attempting to fill in those dreaded work application forms this is a godsend. Each track is labelled as a number so that one can interpret the music in any w ay one w ishes to. It's very inuch along the same lines as the 'Pure .Moods" album anil 'Platipus kcconls" hits, slow being the optinunn word heic. but ils more than that, (his is thinking and nonthinking music. Track 9 ."^9. is the non-lhinking. basically that means you get so absorbed in the music that you forget what's going on around you. This track is ver\ uplifting, and has a strixjg beat -strange how a song can have both a striking dance beat, as well as having a rela.xing tone. Cant explain it. but I can appreciate it. 4 14 the 'thinking' type. To put it blalanth the time that we all need to give ourselves in the pursuit of space, before the walls clo.se in on us and hence destroying our spirits. .Strange? Hnnnni! l-'or you thinkers out there or for the third years stressed by the panic of those .50 page fornis, calm down, chill out. and go and buy this albuni This album is titled "dedicateil'. so whatever happens don't give up!! I I!! Have a nice day. Ant MUSIC Jart- DEC 2 - 473 Grass 'em Up Supergrass Exclusive SUPERGRASS Press Conference @ Royal Moathouse, Nottingham this is the life: travel up to Nottingham, participate in a press conference with iupergrass, followed by food and Irinks, then watch the guys bring the lOuse down at Rock City, continued by nore and more drink being forced lown, and finally overnight ccommodation ... all paid for!!! Did it appen? Did it f***? Danny, the drummer, broke his hand the day before by punching a car (as one so often does). No drummer, no gig, no late night drinking (ish). So, it was question time for the Oxonian trio. Obviously, my first proposition was "If the Def Leppard drummer can play with one hand, why can't you?" This created laughter amongst the other journos, but proceeded to make the band even more depressed than they originally were -they clearly don't like doing press conferences. The underlying impression was of a mature triumvirate of classy musicians, who were once the three cheeky chappies seen on the overplayed video of 'Alright'. Two of them have families, they no longer live in Oxford, and the Brit-Pop tunes in the mould of ' M a n s i ze IRooster' and 'Lenny' have gone; though the rawness of arguably their best song - 'Caught by the Fuzz' -remains.evident on 'In it for the money'. Things have, nevertheless, gone a long way since 'I Should Coco' - Supergrass were even able to decline an offer by Mr. Spielberg himself, to recreate a modern version of The Monkees. Why? They hadn't established themselves in America, so they claim that audiences would have regarded them as "Steven Spielberg's english band". So they really don't want to sell out ... they're in it for the music, man. "Were there any sexual experiences they wished to share with us?" the girl form Liverpool university asked. No comment. What about them declining Ronnie Biggs' invitation to a barbecue? SIKIillUlSII [CAUGHT BYTHE FUZZ "For fuck sake, that happened two years ago! Can't you stop going on about that?" was Gaz, the lead singer's response. OK then, what are their favourite albums? They singled out three for this year: Radiohead, Finlay Quaye and Beck. Of all time? Bowie, Lennon, Wonder, Zappa, The Kinks, Led Zeppelin ... you can guess the rest! All in all, there was a high degree of unoriginality about the band: yes, they take loads of drugs. "A spliff is like a cup of tea - just part of life," was Gaz's brief insight. If there is a cliche to the antithesis of Oasis, Supergrass represent many aspects of it: not wanting (or even demanding) press attention; just for the public to judge on the music. Image is so unimportant to them, that misrepresentation by the press does not concern them whatsoever. But then, are they really that different from any other indie-pop band in the UK at present? The word retro primarily springs to mind. Overall, questions of frivolity were hardly answered (highlighting their downbeat mood due to the cancellation |of the whole tour). When it came to matters more serious, mainly regarding musical compromise and selling out, they were quick to point that musically they had always stuck to their beliefs. How noble! It's not that they're an awful band or a sad bunch of blokes, on the contrary, they are clearly talented and would be pleasant enough to get drunk and stoned with, but one can't help wanting a bit more from pop stars. Otherwise, there really is no mystique and we might as well all become investment bankers. Fundamentally, they weren't too keen on expressing themselves on a variety of topics - in fact the free Carling Premier afterwards was a great deal more inspiring. So why do they hate press conferences so much? Who cares? ZaK ¦| o|' I (' 'I vi'CJ- of Si'j-c I j'.i . Snji:) 3. N'ti) iiic) II) A.'S f'. C..K):on1: '/. )!)f JilK'i 9. Sni'.t' Ki.) .iiil.'f. ("iji'v The Moby Interview: Part II oby himself embraces a variety of musical styles: When fifteen he became entranced with punk and taught himself to play guitar before drifting through speed metal and art rock bands. In the late 80s, with the dawning of acid house, Moby found his true calling as a DJ, remixer and electronic musician. Through a combination of the success of 'Go' and his charged live performances, Moby was soon christened Techno's first star. With 'Everything Is Wrong' in 1995 Moby's reputation as a bold modem composer of what was coined 'symphonic dance' was cemented. But in perverse fashion, Moby was already growing tired of degenerating dance music and created the incendiary punk rock thrill of the 'Animal Rights' album. It was to prove the most controversial move of his career, seeing him being tagged as a 'dance traitor'. Now, however, with the new. wryly-titled 'I Like To Score', featuring Moby's film music, old and new, he seems to tend back to the dance floor. A final decision? "No," Moby confidently assures, "I always did all kinds of music. With nine I started studying classical music and actually most of the music I write is classical. Liking one music for me doesn't exclude another." Where does today's music develop most then? In dance, or rather rock music? "I think progression in music is always accidentally," Moby ponders. "I never could deal with this academic experimentation of 12-tone-music a la Schonberg, for example. It is too intentional. The greatest progressions are always results of experimentation out of love and compassion for music. Just look at hip hop." Still, you must have some favourite music? "Oh, I really don't know. You can't simply isolate one type of music and say it's good or bad." There is surely no exception? "Well, I've got a problem with contemporary jazz. And I hate musicians who desperately try to be avant-garde or cool. Music is always very subjective. The importance is that one can enjoy it, feels good about it. That's what counts. No matter whether it's commercial or not." Which leads me to the inevitable question: Your opinion of the Spice Girls? "They are great! I love pop music!" And Oasis? "They did some really good tunes. For the third album, though, I think they must have made a pact with the devil: the songs are so incredibly catchy. You can sing along immediately." That Moby is such a thoughtful and modest man is hardly surprising, once you recognise that he was a philosophy major at the University of Connecticut, is deeply religious and vegan. Some of his Cd booklets contain short essays on morality and tolerance. "At university I was more concerned with linguistic philosophy like Camap or Wittgenstein," he recalls, "but I always felt inconsistent with eating animals and liking them at the same time." How long are you vegan then? "First I ate junk food like everyone else. At one point two of my friends decided to become vegetarian and I joined them." Eventually that led him to become a vegan, demonstrating against the last "imperialism of men, imposing their will on others." Thus Moby supports as many animal movements as he can, plays benefit concerts and all his records say 'Animals are not ours to eat or to experiment on'. "Our consciousness is just too static to perceive things as they are. Nature is a fluid process, very interrelated," he explains. "Especially in ethics there is no objective case and we have to draw a line of compassion at some place, without discrimination, once a principle kicks in. And even if it is mistake, it's better by extending compassion than by withholding it. History smiles at the compassionate ones." Then Richard Hall has to leave for his next interview. I'm left behind with the impression of a considerate and intelligent man. If someone deserves recognition not only for his music but also for his thoughts than he does. And I'm convinced - history will smile at him. Malte Gerhold ? Bart- DEC 2 - 473 If. like me you totally loved the award winning "Wallace and Grommit" animations by Nick Park, it would be difficult to imagine how a theatrical production could do justice to them. However, I found myself, like most of the children in the audience captivated from start to finish. Everyone who came to see the opening performance of this show wa.s greeted by a live sheep in the lobby of the Peacock Theatre! The play set out not to try and imitate the animation and skillfully brought to life all of the main characters with the humour and zest with which they are associated. It begins with our two heroes the ever loveable Shawn the.^ Sheep taking to the stage i demonstrate their newj invention - a machir which converts themi into actors, actorsi ready to play ir horror, western oi; classical dramas! After discussing! the merits of 'Pup Fiction' or 'Thel Dogfather' theyl finally decide uponl 'The Beast of Wenslydale Moors' and arc ably assisted by Wallace's long time sweetheart, Wendaline. However, plotting in the background is the villainous Feathers' (the penguin, ensnared and imprisoned a the end of 'The Wrong Trousers') who returns and is plotting his revenge. Wendolyne is hypnotised into elping him with his dastardly and wicked deed... divide. It doesn't try to mimic the animations, it develops the ideas within them and takes them into a new and exciting dimension. I loved it and my advice would be to go and see it. Wallace and Gromit is now showing at the Peacock Theatre and is running until 17th December Box OfTice - 0171 314 8800 Reviewed by Dhara he rapturous appljiuse and 'ungrudging audience 'participation showed that the play 'clearly bridged the adult/child ~Caiivan - iy Reviewed by Mathieu Robbins The Caravan, by Helen Blakeman, is playing at the Bush theater on Shepherds Bush Green, at the back of the Fringe & Firkin pub. It is a good pub comedy, funny and brilliantly acted by the whole cast. It is entirely built around one location, the aforementioned caravan itself, parked in North Wales, and the action shown never strays from it. It is structured as a fly-on-the-wall view of t h e developments in the lives of those who pass through or live in the Caravan. They are five. Mother Josie, who rents and some day dreams of owning the caravan, her daughters Kim a teenager and Kelly her older sister, Mick an unemployed scrounger and Kelly's lover and Bruce, a stetson-toting cowboy throwback stuck in North Wales. It is a witty account of working-class life and values, but it goes further. The tiny set and cast go towards showing the extremely limited and constrained world in which the characters live. The play explores both the evolution of the personal interrelationships over a period of years, and some constants of British life such as the generational differences in attitude between the characters. Those attending the play should enter the theater early and sit on the back row if there is still space, as it has both the best overall view of the stage and the most comfortable sitting position. The other rows involve leaning back against the row behind's feet and legs...if they'll let you. The cast however is top-level, including Samantha Lavelle (Spring Hill, Channel4) and Nick Bagnall (Royal Shakespeare Company). It is a must-see, especially for any of you who have never seen the British institution that is a pub play, and at only £6 for students is one of the best bargains in theatreland. Now showing! Call 0181 743 338 for details IQIB Monday 1 st, Tuesday 2nd 1 and Thursday 4th December 1 in the Quad at 8pm | ' A i w Arts and Music always require talented reviewers. If you want loads of free tickets and CDs, come to the weekly meeting at 6:00pm on Mondays or email us at beaver@lse.ac.uk M.E.Pallis@lse.ac.uk Y.Chinwala@lse.ac.tik Z.A.Shaikh@lse.ac.uk Dev came a cropper Long, long, long ago The Courtyard Theatre, next to King's Cross station, was a new venue to this reviewer. Very nostalgic of school drama studios - hardboard stage; ceiling spots; water occasionally dripping from the ceiling. Charming, even if its charm consists mainly of the fringe credibility it entails. The production is also reminiscent of schooldays. A portrayal, through physical theatre, song and monologues, of creation myths from around the World - a sort of paean to primitivist multi-culturalism. By its very nature, this is always going to be theatre uber-naive. Sadly, the script did not contain enough irony, enough knowledge of its own pretensions, to cut the sugar with something sharper. There are a few nice effects. Good use of singing, percussion, and lighting to give an atavistic feel. A few wry bits of narradon which had the intelligence to poke fun at themselves. But, to be blunt, there is nowhere near enough original theatre in this production to compensate for the aimlessness of the 'play'. The script has a long, long, long, long way to go. The theatre I highly recommended. This production I do not Showing at The Courtyard, 10 York Way, Kings Cross. 0171 833 0870 Bart- DEC 2 - 473 ? . ........ fl^o be perfectly honest. 1 was never much of a Brad Pill fan. and couldn't see " what all the fuss was about, he was this cute blonde bimbo guy from the Levi's ad. Then, a few years later (having managed to studiously avoid all his films) 1 saw Legeiuls of the Fall. I am the first to admit that this is not a great film. Epic in length only, its cliche-ridden family-saga plot was better suited to a mini-series on Sky, but what overwhelmed me was the power of Brad's acting. It was the scene where, having returned from war, he visits the grave of his younger brother whom he had seen die. So naturally, the guy would be upset - but Brad cried, really truly blubbed his guts, his perfect face was contorted into this moist red tnass, there was drool and snot and of course tears. I cried. I sighed, and 1 succumbed along with millions of other girls to the charin and intensity that is Brad Pitt, Being a huge Robert Redford fan. my new found passion for Pitt was reinforced by A River Runs Through It whore his performance was decidedly Redford-esque. It was his brief appearance in Thelmu and Louise as the seductive con man that launched him sky-high as a Hollywood starlet, although he had done exactly what the role had demanded - he was charismatic and beguiling. I believe that Brad Pitt is not just another random hiinbo. He may not be Dustin Hoffman, but who can take you seriously when you're that beautiful? He may not be in the same league as the late River Phoenix, but he certainly is not a Keanu Reeves type plastic hunk. Brad can be beautiful - Cool World, Thelma and Louise, not so beautiful - Johnny Suede, True Romance, and downright ugly -Interview with a Vampire, Twelve Monkeys. The depths of despair and darkness he displayed in the climactic scenes of Seven were haunting, playing the rookie cop whose life is irrevocably damaged by a psychopath. His performance was beyond mean and moody, and those of you who think otherwise should try acting and see how you can do. But Pitt has had a troubled year. He has been in and out of court suing for damages (and winning) as photos of himself and (ex) girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow sun-bathing nude were published in Playgirl. There is all the controversy surrounding his new film Seven Years in Tibet, after filming had to shift to the .^ndes as India bowed to pressure from China to refuse filming rights, and Heinrich Harrer's admission that he had been a member of the SS - Harrer being the author of the novel the film is based on as well as the character that Brad Pitt portrays. And of course, the split with fiance, Gwyneth Paltrow. Everyone has a theory - he was having an affair, she wasn't ready to get married, he was immature, he was intense and creepy - but whatever the cause, breaking up is painful. Brad Pitt is clearly a tormented soul. Rest your head on my chest Brad, and I'll ease your aching parts -1 mean heart. YC utrHne'T aptain Hook is back I Only this time he is not battling Peter Pan, but terrorising a quartet of ^ cowardly, selfish kids, who run over a man after a July 4th drinking binge. They think I they've killed him and decide to dispo.se of his cor|)se by throwing it offshore - the only [ thing is. the guy isn'" dead and wakes up before the kids manage to get rid of him - too bad. they get rid of him anyway. Remorse gnaws away at the youngsters' nerves throughout their first year in the real world, I having fmi.shed high school. Their once precious dreams fail mi.serably, but failure is only the beginning of the niahtmare that awaits them with the coming of suinmer. Somebody knows what happened (hence the title) iuid engages in tormenting the kids with a relentless persecution which becomes murderous. This is the Captain Hook character, known as "the f-ishernian', who kills half i the town armed with his iiusty hook, in an attempt to avenge the death of the mysterious inan who | was run over at the beginning. Spooky? Not at all. 'nut very bloody - well ketchupy really as it is totally unconvincing, j Unfortunately, the fake blood isn't the only dubious accoutrement. The whole story is comical, ' ;specially during the massacre scenes, which are predictably accompanied by lots of screaming, as the hapless victims wander in ^ limle.ss circles, awaiting tiieir iintimely end. I The only interesting exceptions to what must really be a parody of the horror schlock genre arc a few interesting surprises and a cool sound track, including Type O Negative. Offspring : and Bing Crosby. The highlight of the movie was the opening scene (how sad to climax so ¦ soon - Ed) which arrests the audience's attention and launches the movie far, only to spend i the remaining 90 minutes spiralling speedily downwards. It is not surprising therefore that the movie is brought to us courtesy of the makers of "Scream", and is very similar in style - the ten.se opening, the farcical murders, the daft twist. ; In short, what is pretentiously presented as "modern horror" is really the same old tat regurgitated, only funnier. This movie is clearly not intended to be taken seriously, which is ; fine, because I didn't, Francesca Genesio Screajn. Drew, scieam V- r 'screiim iSmiiim, Ncv M - //ever betore has a trailer had such monumental impact- it had to be a first r night screening. "The Best British film since Schindler's List" wrote the Guardian's critic. Scuttling into my lair at the Brixton Ritzy my hopes were hopes were high and Michael Wintertxjttom's latest offering was not about to disappoint. 'Welcome to Sarajevo' is an emotionally frustrating film based on tlie true account of ITN journalist, Michael Nicholson's time in the besieged Bosnian capital. Faced by the West's apathy to the atrocities happening in its backyard, it is a tale which questions the fundamental role of journalists in war zones. The international grouping of news correspondents camped out in Sarajevo's shelled Holiday Inn became increasingly angry and desperate as the horrific events were reported in soundbites back home, and n:gularly followed uifling domestic affairs like tiie marital breakdown between the Duke and Duchess of York. In frustration Nicholson, a.k.a. Henderson in the film, sensitively played by the little known Brit Stephen Dillane, resolved to make a difference, however slight, by arranging successfully to iBscue an eight-year-old girl, Emira (Emira Nusevic), from her orphanage on the frontlines. But rather than leaving her to become a refugee with her fellow inmates, Henderson smuggles her back to London to grow up with his own young family, in turn sparking a moral debate. Using this plot as the backbone to the film, Winterbottom highlights the carnage and the helpless plight of the prisoners of Sarajevo. Daily life went on in the city as far as war permits, living with the constant threat from snipers and bombers located in the surrounding hills. One of the opening scenes shows a family preparing to marry off their daughter. As they merrily walk down a peaceful cobbled street the calm is blighted by the indi.scriminate killing of the bride's mother by a lone gunshot. The editing reflects the realism effectively but honestly, by mixing 3.^mm film with video format and substantial news reel, including some upsetting footage of the 'Bread Queue Massacre', outdoing Hollywood's special effects departments hands down, with justification. The setting too is entirely realistic as filming began only weeks after the Dayton peace accords, and the audience is held by the energy and commitment of all those involved in the production -including many Yugoslavians with first hand war experiences. Without becoming too soppy, this is a must-see film for our generation and its immediacy as a historical account, its deep set emotional qualities, ;uid its due criticism of the West's handling of the war make 'Welcome to Sarajevo' the first conscious effort to analyse the tragedy of the Balkans. This film does as much justice as the medium of film can to a frontline crisis to which most of us switched off our TVs at the singular mention of Bo.snia. It is a real shame that Woody Harrelson plunges its credibility with his smart-ass stereotype US hero, Flynn. Matt Berry You Know When YouVe Been Tangoed "How did you choose the tango ?" "I didn 7 choose the tango, the tango chose me." Now, I don't know if this cringeworthy episode was due to poor scripting or faithful characterisation, but it sure was . trying, as much of "The Tango Lesson' consistently proved lO be. A venture deep into auteur territory. Potter's most recent effort is resplendent with all her characteristic mystique and surrealism- or so it seemed for the first few minutes. Being too quick to judge her latest outing as another saunter into typically continental artiness, 1 inadvertently found myself rudely smacked by the faux-verism of the unravelling plot, A lavishly dressed feature, it disappointingly turns out not to be. Oh gawd- shrink, wince- it's actually another a-la Fellini study of| filmmakers and the filmmaking process. Potter's intention was a film about the tango and the complexities of| love (groan) and we have a profoundly emetic (an emetic is something that causes vomiting - Ed) result. This movie is one hell of a pretentious stinker, despite its presumably good intentions. The story goes something like this: coolly reserved Brit writer/director in the middle of a new script "Rage" bumps into the tango, takes lessons in Paris and Buenos Aires, falls in love with both dance and dancer/instructor and finally abandons her initial project for another number about (shockingly enough) her hereto-described experiences. It is all told, ad nauseam, with the studied solemnity that the French get away with, but apparently elude other nationals - Brits included. Put simply, this is a love story that evolves from a simple frisson to a tale of power Antonys definitive opinion: A movie all dressed up witii nowhere to go struggles, role reversals and narcissism; the tempestuous emotional intensity of the events supposedly allegorised by the tango. In spite of its self-indulgent portentousness, 'The Tango Lesson' does have its pretty moments. As a visual essay on the tango it is both a breathtaking and enthralling piece of work. All those slick moves and what-not are bound to wow to life even the most disinterested. As an insight into the stresses of life as a writer/director in the creative process it is at once revealing and candid . But as anything more than a celebration of the dance's beauty and the arduousness of filmmaking it fails, quite miserably. Tender moments between Potter and Veron (dancer/instructor) come out wooden and awkward - due to both the cool reserve of the leads and stiffness of the script . The examination of relationships and power seemed altogether plain and vapid, even with all the noise and fury: who the hell doesn't already know that relationships can be difficult and demanding, especially when its partners are rabid egotists? It looks like Potter really missed the mark this time round. It's incomprehensible how the critics manage to swoon over such self-absort)ed twaddle. Ignore them, give this a miss and save yourself from an unnecessary lesson. Bart- DEC 2 - 473 The Royal Opera IL BARBIERE DI SIVIGLIA Independent says "What a mess I say "It passes my test" fl here is a certain stigma that surrounds opera. "®^^eople tend to think that it is boring, dull ^ and out of date. I don't. But anyway, even if you did you couldn't help but love the Royal Opera's new production of Rossini's 'The Barber Of Seville'. 1 want you to go and see this, even if you've never seen an opera before - especially if you've never seen an opera before. Why? Walking into the Shaftesbury theatre is like walking into a museum; ornate sculpts adorn the walls, Zeus is up there looking down on you and it all spells out 'old, traditional theatre.' However, take a look at the stage canvas and you see gigantic, coloured squiggles - not at all what you'd expect. The orchestra play the overture with gusto (although perhaps a little sloppily in parts) and the curtain rises or rather people appear from under it! This opera contains the universally known "Figaro, Figaro, Figaro etc" and it is sung very well indeed. Figaro (the barber) is excellently played, he sings magnificently, acts superbly: really getting across the humour of the piece. Humour is probably the key element to this opera. If you imagine back to the days when it opened, people wouldn't have been going to hear the 'classical' music, they were going to the opera for a fun evening out. The same can apply here. Even if you don't really like classical music, you can't fail to enjoy the humour, drama and fun that this opera gives. I feel that I must point out that, whilst the singers received rapturous applause, the designer was booed by some people/fools. The reason why opera retains its dull, stuck up image is because of men like that . Mark's Advice: This is a breath of fresh air into the dusty corridors of opera. Go and see it if you've got any sense. The Barber of Seville is showing at the Shaftesbury Theatre at selected dates in November, December and January. Contact the box office on 0171 304 4000 and ask for details of the 'Saturday Specials' scheme - it offers reduced price tickets for students. Eugene Onegln Contact the ENO on 0171 632 8300 If you are a fan of the opera, then the revival of Tchakovsky's Eugene Onegin by Alexander Polianichko cannot be missed. The American baritone, Andrew Schroeder makes his British debut here at the English National Opera (ENO), as Onegin, the melancholic lead character. The story, as with all operatic plots, is pedantically simple: young girl falls in love, is jilted by the focus of her affections, tragedy and death ensue and a rather sad demise concludes the story. If intricate storylines and eloquent dialogue are what you demand, then the opera is not the place to go. Contrary to popular myth, operas cater to the lowest common denominator, albeit with a greater flare for the overdramatic than most other forms of entertainment. The mixed audience is testimony to the fact that individuals from all walks of life can enjoy the opera along with the prudish and brittle snots that one normally associates with the opera. However, if you are like me and prefer to listen to Tchaikovsy's music unperturbed by the stacatto shrills of a tenor, then go across the street from the ENO to St Martin's in the Fields and enjoy the best that classical music can offer in London. Reviewed by Hex Strategic Market Research Marketing Strategy MONITOR COMPANY SMR is a marketing consulting company that is looking for exceptional candidates to help us grow our European practice. Our consultants use the latest qualitative and quantitative techniques to understand issues like branding, customerloyalty, new product development, and pricing strategies. We are growing quickly so people who join us will gain responsibility early on, working closely with clients to help solve high-level marketing problems. SMR's parent company. Monitor Company, was founded in 1983, and has rapidly developed into one of the world's pre-eminent strategy consulting practices. We currently employ over 700 professionals in 14 offices and 12 further project offices worldwide. Applications including a CV and covering letter should be sent by 18th December, 1997 to: Christine Grady, Recruiting Co-ordinator Monitor Company, 1 Grosvenor Place, London, SWIX 7HJ Telephone: 0171 259 4000 htlp://www.monitor.com r ¦ Amsterdam Madrid Cambridge ¦ Frankfiirt ¦ Hong Kong ¦' Johannesburg ¦ Milan ¦ New York ¦ Paris ¦ Seoul ¦ London ¦ Los Angeles Tokyo Toronto THE BEAVER DECEMBER 2 - Issue 473 FASHION 9 Twyla's take on fashion Well, er.... this is me. So uli, let's talk fashion. Naturally born addicted to clothes, shoes and bags (oooh, should I have identified myself that way?) coming to London was really exciting. 1 had this preconceived notion that I would be immediately entranced by funky little boutiques with swanky stuff pouring out the doors. But the thing is, that didn't happen. To tell you the truth. I've got to say that my expectations have sadly not been met. Fashion to ine is a tool for self-expression. I mean, granted we all get those sweatpant days, but even then, you kind of dress along the lines of how you feel. Okay, so back to the issue at hand. The coolest things are those that are original and vintage and DIRT CHEAP! And that's just not a possibility here. There's Camden and Portobello, which are supposed to be second-hand chic, but PLEASE! Twenty quid for a t-shirt with a Barbie emblem that isn't even authentically 70s? I'm not saying that twenty quid is a lot for a t-shirt, it's just that there is something inherently wrong with dishing out that much money for a dirty, cheesy, factory-made, 1988 blah shirt. And then there's the thing where designers have tried to imitate the look of the 20s, 30s, 40s, 60s and 70s, but the intention doesn't seem to come across. There's always some kind of weird 90s element, like asymmetrically cut sleeves or something. And then, of course most of us can't afford designerwear, so there's no point in torturing ourselves with the thought that it actually really is that cool. So I tell myself it sucks anyway. So what have I done to remedy my problem and to quench my thirst for clothes, shoes, and bags? I've raided my mother's closet. This is something that I began a couple of years ago when I bccanie disillusioned with digging through piles in thrift stores. And oddly enough, I have been able to find new 60s and 70s stuff in her closet and in the basement year after year! It's as if a little elf has been replenishing the stock. Or rather, my taste in clothing has gradually become more and more eccentric. Fortunately, my mom was really, really super hip so I've kind-of stopped shopping - well, that is as far as clothing goes. Shoes and bags arc a whole other story. Heh... heh... On to shoes and bags. They are really good things. And there is a really good selection available in London as well. I don't know why, but I have no qualms about forking out loads of cash on a really cool pair of boots or like a really kick-ass glow-in-the-dark bag with fur handles (what a good idea -someone should design one!). Anyway, in general, shoes and bags rock. Vintage or not. But one thing to bear in mind - and I'm really not trying to be shallow and flaky and lame, it's just soinething that I've read in magazines a lot and I happen to agree with. If you've got a really nice outfit on, but your shoes or your bag are all ratty or something, your look will fall apart. Invest in those items as good shoes and bags will work wonders for any outfit. (I am SOOOO LAME! I apologise for writing that.) Oh, one more thing about fashion. COLOUR. Try it. Colours are also a very positive thing. Totie on tone, bright colours, colours that you've been trained as a child in conformist society to believe clashed, often don't. So to sum up: 1) Clothing that is fun and original is good. If it is practically free, it's even better. 2) Bags and shoes are always good. (except when they are in poor condition) 3) Colours - use 'em. Okay, well that's my take on fashion. Quote: **Being cool is admitting that you're a big nerd. Hello world! I once watched four two-hour episodes of Star Trek • The Next Generation Destiny: To be famous and to marry Joaquin Phoenix - he fust doesn't know it yet. Beaver Style Award To(Jay: Twyla mmm o, I think you already Sknow a lot about Twyla's fashion style. However 1 am happy to add some personal details such as ...no.no.no...! don't give out any of iny award nominees' telephone numbers...Twyla is 21 years and 10 and a half months old and American. Her interests range from Theatre, Film, Drawing, Painting, Music, Astrology -lately. Eating everything...in sight!!! Happy People...? If you want to see Twyla in action, you should go and see the LSE Drama Society's production of " Teechers" on the 1st, 2nd and 4th December in the Quad. Her favourite phrase is: " Actually-.-I'm REALLY hungry." Photographer: Ralph Achenbach V Ladies and Gentlemen, the Beaver fashion page proudly presents Ralph Achenbach. He is the new Fashion photographer and joins Nina Duncan as Photographic Editor, if you want to contact him - R.Achenbach@lse.ac.uk The UK's greatest fashion and beauty event is back 5-10 December NEC Birmingham atch the world's most glamourous Wfashion show in the LLOYDS BANK FASHION THEATRE including special appearances from the world of pop and TV. Try the latest sportswear brands In the CLOTHES SHOW LIVE SPORT Hall or pick up career advice from top British design talent of the future in the LLOYDS BANK COLLEGE FORUM. Visit THE EXPRESS CONTEIVtPORARY DESIGNER CLASSICS PAVILION featuring British and international designers' collections including top names such as Betty Jackson, Ben de Llsi, Janet Fitch, Patrick Cox, Mulberry, Vlyella and Austin Reed. There are going to be Makeovers, shopping galore, stars and celebrities and lots more! So check it out! For Tickets call 0121 767 4444. Ticket prices: Friday 5th, Saturday 6th, Sunday 7th December: £ 18.50 Monday 8th, Tuesday 9th, Wednesday 10th December: £ 13.00 Opening time: 9.00 a.m. to 6.30 p.m. Friday 5th to Wednesday 10th December Virgin Trains offer visitors to Clothes Show Live direct service to the show from London Euston and Manchester Piccadilly. Virgin TrainLine : 0345 222 333. 10 ECONOMICS THE BEAVER Issue 473 - DECEMBER 2 The Trials and Tribulations of Information Technology A critical analysis is provided by Mathieu Bobbins, regarding the benefits of revolutionary technological advances New information technologies are appearing with increasing regularity and are being touted as 'revolutionary'. To many individuals, these technologies are increasingly seen as over-hypes and irrelevant. The internet, for example, for all its fanfare, is still only used by a small minority of people in England. It is expensive to install in the home, difficult for the computer-illiterate to approach, and tends often to provide services already elsewhere available. It is however difficult to evaluate these on the home market-consumer level, as many have been designed specifically for business or educational use. They are designed to revolutionize the way business is conducted and information is gathered and presented. This technology revolution has also allowed the expansion of companies, many but not all of which are in 'Silicon Valley', the San Jose area of California and which produce the catalysts for the phenomenon, namely the hardware and software on which it is built. Among the hottest of these companies are Seagate Technology which produces data storage devices such as hard disk and tape drives, Cisco Systems which produces the networking Indeed, companies now run the 'mobile office' concept whereby employees can work and update central company databases by logging onto the network from a remote location such as a train, an external assignment, for the very resourceful, a golf _course! adaptors necessary for computer communications, Intel which produces the super-fast processing chips which run the computers used and Microsoft, the software company which produces Windows, the operating system they run. Most of these companies, listed on NASDAQ are thought of as "hot stock" because of the huge expansion of the personal computer and server sector of which they are the foundations. Though they are susceptible to bring an investor huge capital returns in a short time, many of these stocks are extremely volatile, and quite a few of the smaller "upstart" companies are susceptible to being laid by the wayside as technical standards are set and the sector consolidates its growth. Apple, though not an upstart, is an example of a company adversely hit by the adoption of single standards. Any potential stock investor in the sector should have a minimum knowledge of the sector and carefully choose the company he invests in... or be prepared to face the consequences and lose a big part of his investment. Also, the sector seems to grow cyclically rather than constantly: a slowdown in technology advances might lead to a temporary slump in the sector, as Information Technology: An information highway leading nowhere? Photo: Library it is these advances which motivate consumers to upgrade their systems and buy computers. These are therefore extremely volatile stocks. Traditional businesses are being revolutionised in two ways. In the way they conduct their internal operations, and also in the way they interact with their customers and suppliers. At an internal level, communications have been greatly facilitated by the advent of technologies such as networking, teleconferencing and e-mail. Networking, achieved by linking all desktop units to one central computer known as a 'server', allows all employees in a company to log on to common files such as databases, newsletters, and to conduct changes to these files, from the convenience of his or her own desktop computer. Also, assuming all information is filed correctly, it will keep for longer than would paper. Gone are the days of needing to rummage through an overfilled and dangerous filing cabinet in a backroom to obtain any filed information. There is a downside however to this: companies are becoming increasingly reliant on computer data storage for their day-to-day operations. Conventional wisdom can see this as a drawback: indeed, what is the use of keeping files electronically if all one needs is an electricity failure or computer hitch in order to lose access to them. Furthermore, statistical studies have shown that over two thirds of companies that lose their computer data for more than 7 days never re-open. As 68% of data losses occur because of human error, it becomes plain that thee are big inherent risks. The only solution is to back-up. This is where it becomes more attractive to store databases on a computer server than in a filing cabinet: data stored on a computer can be easily backed up, on a floppy, zipdrive or remote server, so that a fire in a office needn't have fatal consequences on a computer database whereas it would completely and irretrievably destroy a filing cabinet. Another progress brought about through networking is internal e-mail. This allows smooth, swift communication between individuals in a company on an instantaneous basis, and through file attachments, also facilitates teamwork on a single project without the need for physical proximity. An extension of this has provided the possibility for much more work to be undertaken outside the traditional office. Indeed, companies such as Andersen Consulting now run the 'mobile office' concept whereby employees are provided with a laptop which in effect becomes their office. They can work and update central company databases by logging onto the network from a remote location such as a train, an external assignment, for the very resourceful, a golf course! The way in which businesses interact with their customers is also being shaken up by the IT advances. Retail stores now have computerized ordering systems with their central warehouses or suppliers. As an item is lazer "wanded" into the networked till, its barcode -which identifies the kind of product- is registered, and an order placed instantly for a replacement to be delivered. Corporations are also building net-style interfaces to interact with their distributors. These contain product and account information to the distributor without anyone at the corporation needing to be on call to look anything up. The services sector is being shaken up in a similar, but more noticeable way. Eurostar tickets can now be bought over the web. The Economist website supports subscriptions, so that on need only enter their credit card number and address to become a subscriber. Web-based services first of all provide a much larger consumer base than traditional methods... the whole world. Indeed, they are not constrained by local working times like phone-based or high street services. Nor are they affected by borders or customs. The internet by yet have a huge impact on the globalization of the services sector. Advertising is also being redefined. The internet provides it with many new guises and a huge potential audience. Placing an advertising banner on one of the top traffic webpages, such as Yahoo.com will cost several thousand pounds, but will bring your company exposure to millions of consumers a day. Free sites can use advertising easily to pay for the services they provide. Any company wishing to advertise over the net can pay a site to put up its "banner", or clickable logo. The great specialisation of websites as opposed to, say, television channels means that advertisers can easily pinpoint their target audience. Hence a car manufacturer might advertise on a car-related website. The advertising banners on web-pages can lead, with the click of a mouse, to the site selling the product advertised. The internet can in this way provide much more direct and interactive advertising than can television. Business is also being revolutionized by the new possibilities opened up by the internet. Many businesses are today being set up which would not have been possible without these new technologies. It is now possible to conduct virtual business. Virtual malls, no more really than a graphic on an internet screen, are now selling virtual wares across the internet. An example of Internet users from different ends of the World can organize themselves very easily into forums and communities to discuss particular sites and businesses. this is Amazon Bookstore. As a credit card order for a book is placed over the internet, Amazon orders it from a publisher and ships it to the customer. It is no bookstore. It has no walls to maintain, security to keep up, cash-till employees to pay. It is really just an ordering service, but has done extremely well through the internet. The way these are set up also allows for a much more interactive form of business. Consumers can send their book reviews into Amazon.com, where they will be put up in an area consumers can browse. Internet users from different ends of the World can organize themselves very easily into forums and communities to discuss particular sites and businesses. Hence any bad or sneaky business practices on the net will be known about quickly enough that they are hard to keep up. The IT-revolution therefore opens up many possibilities for business and consumers alike. There is a difference between a possibility and a concrete change, however, and as long as more people in the World do not have access to the Web or these new technologies, they will remain the advantage of a select few. In the end, the internet will thrive or die around its ability to keep on expanding and to give its companies access to the World market they aspire to reach. MIDAS ilrll Hello ;>piidlings' Thi» Midas' ksK coliinM'for lln» \car as it ItHiVs unlikelyi ^hstf ihetc Mil; bi" .tn rconoinic*' page oa Ihe Chrj».tmas edition of Thf /Jcu'vi H |)rolbably has lo do t''.c faL-i liiat Midiij li 1 <:(.iriri£o when it LOitiL'- ti.> g.' ing prr^cnts. and lif ^ ofu'i] loo bus> cdculatwf his Ta\ retu-'i: to fvt into the native spirit Midas is'a bit a' sotti Teally, but if he was.n't & gentiJe,-thH coium&'Woatdn.'t be any fup. Anyway, let's try and demystify th« whu'i\«iita vYortd of Stock Optiotts... Tho term option, wan;, isxactlj tiie nanus implies and it has buea a financial moI availab^to invekois fm of years.' ' -Pfe0e»iciarr Wrchants, bidding for the oj^rtonity to buy cargo of ihc first ship$ to cotuse into pott, bought the privilege to secare thui liyht to the contents ot •¦ttip if- it (.ontaincd v:tioabk goods Whicb conid be void aj u pteiHiutM'priti- in o!Ih.t ijj«Kha«t^ would {Hifcba,^ Ihe right to be !at tije front of the queue whei> the ship docked and if the ship did not have aayttog of interest, the merchant would x;hoose,uot to exetx;ise his option and wait vessel. Thi> prol¦es^ wwld pur< h:ise ;£oods, or th.» iimtf liniii on bis ofrtion expired. For those of you who have chosen to gel out of LSE Hat)s of residence, the printiipies for stock options should 8lrea% fawsiKai' to you. When ym find a Rat it is cBStomi'ry lo pat a deposit •ity lo piwenl anytinu else viewiog it and allowing you ibe .sc^kift- W buy ialo the If yoo don't yoar priviledge and enter into a ^;ontract after a certain peHod of tirae,-yott deposit and the flat is > the mallet Sirnpleeh'' the net pmfits for the wai'.b: lo clwnoe tiOOO^ the shares -tefgo «p..Eacte bhaj^ is worth nSp, m wh-ilOCX) wi!li buy hiia around 570 If ne»^ )Jie price of the share rises to 19(^i ndl would only mk^ stprofw ^ lax. 1 ; lie would have The premium cost of bttyinf joptiojjs are Ii.ste stilt ;wor!h getting up ior on Christmi** mwiiog. Kith numbug: , THE BEAVER DECEMBER 2 - Issue 473 INTERNATIONAL 11 Yamaichi: time to manage the unthinkable Hiroko Tabuchi looks at the fall of Yamaichi and some possible ramifications for the Japanese establishment What's up with Japan's financial system? In November alone, two institutions, the Sanyo Securities Co. and the Hokkaido Takushoku Bank, have failed. And now the closure of Yamaichi Securities, an event labeled by the Nikkei Shinbun financial paper as the largest postwar corporate failure in Japan, is causing economists worldwide to voice serious concerns regarding the stability of the whole financial system itself. Yamaichi Securities Co. filed for closure with the Japanese Ministry of Finance on Monday morning with debts estimated by Nikkei to top 3 trillion yen and client assets of over 24 trillion. The Bank of Japan announced the same day that it had extended seven hundred billion yen in emergency unsecured loans to help the failed Yamaichi repay its clients. Yamaichi, once rescued in 1965 from a similar fate through a government orchestrated bail-out, had hidden over 200 billion yen worth of debts, some of them from illegal stock trades. Furthermore it was allegedly entangled with sokaiya corporate racketeers, as is almost every broker in Japan. Could this astounding failure cause a crisis of confidence in Japan's financial system? If banks and brokers in the world's second and Asia's largest economy continue to close, the Japanese could start selling their voluminous holdings of US treasury bonds, with devastating effects on world trade. According to Gillam Tet of the Financial Times, outcomes of the crisis would depend on whether Yamaichi is a special case or if it has systematic implications and, if there are wider implications, what the government does to handle them. In light of recent financial failuOres, it is evident that Yamaichi is not an isolated case. Over the last three years almost twenty financial institutions have collapsed in Japan, from the failure of the Tokyo Kyowa Credit Union in December 1994 to the more recent closures of Sanyo and Takushoku. The Japanese financial system is "creaking with 'bad loans'" and suspicions remain that other banks and brokers may also be hiding substantial losses. Some economists view the Yamaichi closure in an optimistic light — John Lipskey, chief economist at Chase Manhattan, commented that the government's willingness to let Yamaichi fail is a hopeful sign "that the Japanese authorities are becoming more forthright in dealing with these problems." What can the government actually do, however, to cope with this financial crisis? FT's Phil Halliday points out the need for authorities to demonstrate that they have a coherent strategy allowing for failing companies and banks to "go to the wall without draggi#ng the country's entire system down with them." He realises that the decision to let Yamaichi fail may be a step towards weeding out failing banks from the system, but also warns that such a decision presents a risk of contagion if it is not accompanied by a sound plan to limit damage to customers. Maintaining confidence in the banking system may thus need to involve the use of public money on a large scale, a politically unpopular move that the ailing Hashimoto cabinet perhaps cannot afford to undertake. PM Ryutaro Hashimoto has pledged to take "every step" necessary to maintain the stability of the financial system; all eyes are now on the response of the Japanese government now, and as Brian Waterhouse of HBSC James Capel puts it: "if there is no strong statement from the Ministry of Finance that steps have been taken to ensure market liquidity, that all counterparty transactions will be honoured, that Yamaichi is an isolated case . . .then banks around the world may cut their credit lines to other Japanese brokers and banks." Consequently, Japanese leaders are trying their utmost to calm market fears. Hashimoto was furthermore anxious to divorce the Yamaichi situation from Southeast Asia's currency-induced crisis, commenting on his way to the APEC Conference in Vancouver on Tuesday that "We have to draw a line between economic problems in Asia and the problems in Japan . . . Japan is a creditor not a borrower, and Japanese banks have sufficient foreign reserves." Nevertheless, stock markets in Asia tumbled on Tuesday and the Nikkei ended at 15,867.53, down 854.05 points for th>e second-biggest decline in point terms this year. Traders and strategists view the Yamaichi crisis as a development raising questions beyond the collapse of Japan's forth largest broker. A senior Japanese official most ironically (and now infamously) said less than two weeks ago: "I do not think Yamaichi Securities will fail — it would be too great a shock. It could deliver a big blow to confidence in the system." The latter parts of his statement have turned out to be painfully accurate, and the shocks and blows in the aftermath of the Yamaichi failure have yet to be felt. Russia: from communism to capitalist oligarchy? Azamat Sarsembeyev looks at recent developments in Russian politics, tine issues involved and their possible consequences on reform. The recent political crisis in Russia, , which caused the dramatic downfall of Anatoly Chubais, a leader of Russian reforms, is the best example to help understand the contemporary transition problems Russia is facing at the end of the twentieth century. The politics of the Russian Federation may be roughly considered in the two main parts: the Moscow politics and the politics of relationships between the regions and the centre. This latter part of Russian politics is crucial for the future of the Russian state since it ultimately raises the questions of territorial integrity, sovereignty and 'economic independence' in the complicated geopolitics of the regions of the Russian Federation. However, the Chubais crisis is the crisis of the Moscow politics, and it is in Moscow that the fate of Russia in the 21st century is being determined. It is often argued, especially in the Western media, that this crisis is a test for the durability of Russian reforms and of the determination of the Kremlin to continue a course of vital reforms initiated by Mr Chubais, who is recognised by his opponents as well as his supporters as a very talented administrator.. Nonetheless, 1 argue that the Chubais crisis is a test for the durability not just of a reformist course but of Russian democracy. Mr Chubais had been sacked from the post of finance minister and remained as first deputy prime minister, and it actually means that he lost all great powers once at his disposal and that he will probably be sacked in a more convenient moment once another determined reformer will be found to replace him. Three other ministers, the close allies of Mr Chubais, involved in the "writers' union" affair as the crisis is called in Russia, have been sacked by Mr Yeltsin immediately. The fact is that both President Yeltsin and Prime Minister Chernomyrdin have repeatedly given assurances that they will repudiate individuals who do not agree with their reformist policies. However, it is also a fact that foreign investors as well as commentators in the West in general see Mr Chubais as the key figure for any possibility of successful reforms in Russia. But the same situation occurred when the first Russian reformer, Gaidar, was sacked by Mr Yeltsin, and Mr Chubais then appeared to be more talented to push reforms further. So it can be concluded that without Mr Chubais Russia can and will do well since Mr Zadornov, a committed reformer, has replaced Mr Chubais as finance minister, and rumours abound that Mr Yavlinsky and Mr Shokhin, both reputedly liberal reformers, are being considered by the Kremlin as candidates to replace Mr Chubais as first deputy prime minister. Add to the equation Mr Nemtsov, who is also first deputy prime minister and has a reputation as a very able economic reformer, and one can understand that Russia will continue to implement the ideas and reforms of Chubais but without him. Nevertheless, the main revelation of the crisis is not about Russian reforms but about the future of Russia as a liberal, capitalist democracy. Russia was saved from the retum of communism by the coalition of a newly emerged Russian capitalist elite who sponsored the re-election campaign of Mr Yeltsin. It however faces a real risk of being known as a country of, though still capitalist, oligarchy rather than democracy. The capitalist oligarchy formed by a small group of top Russian banker-tycoons symbolised by the figure of Mr Berezovsky, who was recently sacked from his post in the Kremlin by Mr Yeltsin as a result of Chubais' efforts to rupture this kind of relationship in the Moscow politics, once established as an official rule of the game in new capitalist Russia will inevitably mean the great despair of ordinary Russians in a market economy which, in the long term, will ultimately lead again to the great destruction of capitalism in Russia by the victory of communist or fascist forces in democratic elections, if not through mass revolution or territorial disintegration. Indeed, capitalist oligarchy will mean the pursuit of the very narrow interests of a small group-which inevitably causes deprivation by damaging all kinds of small businesses, on which a major part of population depends. The case of the Iranian revolution in 1979 caused by the oppressive regime of the dynast allied with capitalist oligarchy may be instructive for Russia to avoid such a possibility. Mr Chubais, a man for the rule of law in a liberal and capitalist democracy, is a sacrifice for better democracy in Russia. Against this stands Mr Berezovsky, one of the richest men in Russia for the rule of 'crony capitalism' in a capitalist oligarchy. So all committed democratic forces of Russia have had a good lesson from Anatoly Chubais on what not to do. In conclusion such a power struggle, even according to the rules of jungle capitalism, is in it.self a good sign. Russia has everything it needs to be a true democracy, but the risk of capitalist oligarchy should be diminished by recruiting more 'Chubaises" to the government, by the West's influence, by FDI, by Mr Yeltsin, and most important, by the diversification of capitalist-political camps and their interests. Russia will be all right, just let market and democratic forces get to work. NOTE- Please send your comments to: A.Sarsembayev@lse.ac.uk Would YOU like to write for the Beaver International section? No experience needed! Just contact the International Editor, Mathieu Robbins at M.A.Robbins@Ise.ac.uk. 12 FEATURES THE BEAVER Issue 473 - DECEMBER 2 Diana: A legend examined Sam Klein looks back at the legacy at the LSE That famous look at the camera It has been several months since Princess Diana's tragic death. Interest in Diana is no longer at a fever pitch, but it is far from over. In universities around the country, seminars and discussions have sprung up to examine the effects of Diana's life and death on the British people, and to question wherein her power a.s the "Queen of Hearts " really lay. LSE has not been exempt from this new academic interest in Diana. Last Thursday, the Gender Institute and the Department of Social Psychology took on her legend as part of the seminar series on "'The Power of Sexuality and the Sexuality of Power." At Photo: Library the heart of the discussion was how Diana was created by the media, and whether she was at the centre of a revolution that has truly made Britain a more compassionate society? What was Diana's Power? Diana was far from the centre of power in the English royal family and the nation's affairs, but she ultimately exerted a far greater influence on the public mind than all the other members of the royal family combined. Professor Marina Colloni described it as a "touching power", an ability to be close to people. This power was both physical and sexual. It emanated from Diana's need to touch and be close to others, be they sufferers of AIDS or the British public. She took her own personal suffering's public and in doing .so opened up the monarchy to reveal that they experienced the same wants and emotions as other people. It was also a sexual power. Diana showed a new way to be a powerful woman, sexual and vulnerable. She held power in the same way as her namesake, Diana the Greek goddess, who like the other ancient deities was imbued with both sex and power. This power became visible after her death, when contrary to any expectations the nation's mourning turned British .society inside out. As befitting her life, the revolution after her death was not one waged with violence, but instead with flowers and a public outpouring of emotion. None the less it forced Buckingham Palace to act. According to Professor Patrick Humphrey, Head of the Department of Social Psychology, this sexual power is very new. Of all people it is Queen Victoria whom he targets for the start of it's development. Queen Victoria opened the door to sexualization by being publicly known as a being one half of a couple in love. Her plain dress and loving relationship with Price Albert made her more accessible to the public than previous monarchs. This continued with Queen Elizabeth, who was frequently photographed out of royal pose, engaged in conventional circumstances. She was seen in the media dancing and walking with her fiancee, and holding her babies. The increased photographic covering of her life, and the nearness of that life to the British public has allowed people to put their fantasies on to her. With Diana there was an increase in the photographing and visual accessibility but even from the start there was also an evidently different quality to Diana's. Whereas Queen Elizabeth was frequently photographed in informal settings, her gaze was rarely on the camera. In the company of Prince Phillip, her gaze was on him, or they looked in the same direction. With Diana, even in the company of Prince Charles, her gaze was on the camera, and by consequence on you the beholder. With Diana there is also always more bare flesh on view, inviting the viewer to fantasise. How much was Diana complicit in this creation of her public image? Isabelle Van de Gejuche, Lecturer at LSE, described how the press constantly commented on Diana's physical appearance, coinparing her to an animal or a star. The notorious gym photos were shown with a caption proclaiming "The Throne that shaped new sex appeal." The photos and the invasion of privacy that produced them caused a great deal of hurt to Diana. It was argued, however, in the seminar, that her outrage was directed less at an invasion of her privacy, then at the tearing away of the mystique surrounding her sexuality. Examples of Diana's explicit use of the press are rife. In 1985 her requested dance with John Travolta at the White House furthered her image as a star along the Hollywood lines. During the 199()s, with the collapse of her marriage, she used the press in her battle with Buckingham Palace. Most significant was her Panorama interview that sealed her fate in the royal family, but gained her more public popularity than ever before. Diana gained her power through her portrayal in the media, and she u.sed that power to her ends. But it was always a Faustian exchange, with the payment being an increasing desire for public access to her intimate life. That the media was responsible for creating her public image and power is undeniable, but to what extent was it also responsible for creating and furthering the massive public mourning at her death? The non-stop exposure of the event on the TV created a national mindset on which no other subject could focus. Ros Gill Lecturer in the Gender Department, questioned whether it was mourning at all, but instead a need to belong and feel part of something. She emphasised how the media focused on those people frequently portrayed as outsiders such as ethnic minorities, punks, and the homeless, to create a sense of unity and community. The "Ophrah culture" was also given as an explanation for the emotional respon.se to Diana's death, that it was the public identification with Diana as a victim that was responsible for the public's reaction. Victor Seidlor brought her silence to the forefront, proposing that it was this quality in particular that allowed people to invest whatever meaning they wanted in her. Ros Gill pointed out that until the Panorama Interview, Diana's voice had never been heard. She described her own feeling of shock at hearing it, conimenting that even during the landmine campaign, one saw Diana walking through minefields, but one never heard her arguments. It is this silence that Gill attributes to creating Diana's sway on the public's attention. Her silence increased our ability to project whatever we wanted onto her. In the end, the public did not grieve for her, but for their own images of her, and the expression of feelings of loss that that the culture had not let people feel before. Both Seidlor and Gill questioned and cautioned whether as academics they should not be wary of feeding into her objectification too. A Question of Indulgence Lachesis January wants freedom to smoke When there are so few joys left in the grim world, why must people try so hard to deny themselves and others of them. Take smoking for instance. I don't smoke because the addiction says I have to. Nor do I smoke to look cool, which is fairly obvious because nobody really believes in that anymore. I smoke because I enjoy to smoke. Because, even in the face of lung cancer, heart disease and malformed babies, a cigarette does relax my nerves. In the possibility that I don't grow out of it and smoke myself to death before my loved ones, then I will look back with regret at iny foolishness and selfishness. The thing about knowing that you will regret your actions later can also be applied to revision. One knows full well that considerable hatred will be lavished upon a past self at times of heated revision but that is not enough to do anything about it. Future selves are, after all, non- existent however probable. So taking it as read that it is my right to smoke, I may smoke in my own home (depending on the landlord). I pay taxes, through the purchase of the bloody things, so I can smoke in public (and I'm sure I pay for a good proportion of my health care with these taxes before that comes up). But I'm not objecting to 'no smoking* signs, although particularly long tube journeys can provoke nasty thoughts. I'm objecting to attitudes of a minority of non-smokers. Why is there always a minority opposed to every freedom, however fundamental? There is always a small bunch of narrow-minded fuckwits objecting to everything. I'm sure that somewhere there is an anti-gosh movement that really believes people don't have the right to wear perpetual black and be miserable. There is probably an anti-taking-vitamin-C militant out there. It begs the question, why do people feel the need to get het up about stuff? I mean everybody has morals which someone somewhere goes up against. Everyone gets irritated by nearly everyone else but there are less silly ways to deal with j these things. There the get in a tizz and I make a fuss and be I small-minded way There s nothing like a I and thereis the life is short so let us do it properly way (or the relax way). I guess it is not suitable for everything, because nothing is and generalisation gets people into trouble. For instance, smoking in a train carriage with some other person in a confined space with you, will cause them harm, however small, and is not nice. Smoking while waiting for a bus is a completely dissimilar situation and I would be superciliously amused by someone's pretend coughs. As with everything, a little consideration is required. H or two .. While I'm on the subject, something topical for a change. Smoking ads and Formula One. Okay, so the association between sports personalities and cigarettes is a bad thing. Here are icons of health and vitality connected with a vice that reduces your lung capacity to half an escalators worth of running. But that is not the connection most people see. Cigarette ads are aimed a young nonsinokers, apparently, but which smokers actually took up the habit because of them? Surely peer pressure is the biggest influence? Or parents. But the amount of youngsters who sec Marlboro on a Formula One car that take up smoking because of it has to be stupidly small. And here's another thing, I remember when Nigel Mansell was driving with 'Camel' on his car. I had no idea that Camel was a cigarette brand-name. I merely thought it was an odd little word to have on Photo: Library his car. Marlboro was a pretty red and white geometric thing. Silk-cut ads on billboards were the only ones I ever knew were brands of cigarettes. The only thing Fl advertisers can hope to do is to make people switch brand. And that, in itself, is not harmful. Smokers' numbers won't decrease if cigarettes cease to be advertised on cars. That is a very naive attitude. At the flat, we were di.scussing smoking. Out of the four of us, there are three smokers. The walls are going yellow, ashtrays in such abundance they are always getting knocked onto the floor, and sometimes the whole place has a repugnant stink to it. But what the hell. We all started smoking with friends, usually about the same time as drinking. Adverts, no. Sponsorship, no. Here's an analogy. Some football team have Carlsberg as a sponsor (don't they?) but how many people have started drinking because of this? The stats can't be all that high. The message was mainly to move people over to drinking Carlsberg, not to promote under age drinking. The fact that Carlsberg is a lager is not going to occur to young non-drinkers anyway, they'll drink under age or not, the football sponsorship is inconsequential. I propose that tobacco advertising on Fl is just the same. So, because of the general disapproval of one of the few joys I have (smoking), Fl, another small joy, will no doubt suffer. Disclaimer: My grandfather died of cancer through tobacco. He was a great man who had hardly enjoyed any of his retirement. The sadness smoking brings is immeasurable but 1 do feel tobacco advertising on Fl is not to blame for it. Nobody is forced to smoke and by smoking we are choosing to die young and painfully. If health education was more ardent about anti-smoking and anti drugs, it would happen less. And would someone start on Amphetamines just because Villeneuve's car said 'take speed'? People just aren't that stupid. THE BEAVER DECEMBER 2 - Issue 473 CAMPUS 13 tH^re i 4"m¥si fl^he most cosmopolitan university in "^^^Europe, so wonderfully " international and representative of the global city that is London (apparently no one's more central). Sound familiar? It should, but is it true?. Is everyone actually culturally sensitive, liberal and open-minded? Rather, is it more likely that the variety of the LSE merely intimidates everyone into falling into step. Is everyone really more likely to conform according to nationality, class, region or type of school? Just a few weeks at the LSE and several categories of person arc immediately apparent. To start with, there are the extremely voluble "rugger-lads'. Also known as the balcony boys (witness UGM meetings). proudl> wearing their public school scarves and ready to drink all challengers under the table, particularly on a Wednesday night in the Tuns. In contrast are the geezers who probably went to a grammar school but invariably claim to be from a really, really hard comprehensive. This includes women too, all fancying themselves as having pulled themselves out of the deep end of life (i.e. driving an Escort - see young conservatives and Essex boys) to succeed at the LSE while reading voraciously and being very profound. It goes without saying that they didn't bother with Oxbridge, too many toffs, I could've gone if I liked, right? As for the particularly female roles, the rugger-lad equivalent are the Dahlings. punctuated with an air-kiss precisely an inch from either cheek. They compete with each other by counting how many 'close personal friends, dahling' have gold memberships at Cafe de Paris. They are also identified by their natural aversion to the Tuns, tnainly for two reasons, I. the dirty looks they receive when their mobiles ring and 2. it's just too dingy and the clientele are not nearly as interesting as in the exclusive little place in Soho where they are on first name terms with the owner. Gianni dahling. This too has its llip-side. known generally as the Shipper. She tends to occupy the Tuns, stalking for exceedingly drunk, desperate men (sec Wednesday nights). This leads gracefully to one of the largest groups, the footballers. English dominated, thcs are well known to the dirty shippers and .spend most of their time telling each other how they didn't feel like playing for the first's, while the first's players discuss how bad the .second's are. Opposing this are the "throwbacks'; the dishevelled intellectuals. Socialist Worker members and avowed .Marxists. Generally distinguishable from young Conservatives by dint of cultivating mysterious smells about their person. This is to show their dissatisfaction with Thatcherite self-interest, vanity and hygiene. Moving farther afield yields a distinct trend in the LSE's Asian community, the so-called "Clubbin' Asian". Generally froin West London (woohoo!) they tend to converse in a unique code which involves indirectly alluding to how many brand new kicking clubs they have been to this week. Then there are the superfit Scandinavians (and a large German minority) who invariably find time to learn perfect, lilting English, pla> sport and work out. and still get firsts. They tend to resemble the inhumanely hard working South East Asians and the solitary hard-working F.nglish person, rumoured to be living somewhere on the top floor of BLPES. Another aspect of the library is its furniture, individuals whose buttocks are rapidly genetically converging with their chairs, an affliction also suffered by the computer geeks for obvious reasons. Unfortunately, they are doomed to suffer this fate eternally as they generally have left speaking with words and sounds behind, only knowing how to e-mail for help via intricate computer code which nobody else understands. The odd retro punk still emerges on occasion, still worshipping the Sex Pistols and making money to eat by posing for those crap punk-style postcards. A more docile version of this is the alternative American. Complete with Cobain-style cardigan, a scraggy beard (for the blokes) and smelly cords as jeans 'are just a uniform, like, y'know'. Then there are the sincere Americans, who've come over to enrich themselves 'cause like London's so cool, yeah, and like Europe's so quaint and old-fashioned. They give them.selves away by asking the several English people at the LSE 'Have you been to one of the Queen's Garden Parties?' The final stereotype is the missionary American, who preaches at the Mecca that is Mcdonald's. Finally, there are those stereotypes that we can't claim to be our own, rather they have outposts at every large organisation in the world. These include the Gossip Machines who inhabit the Tuns and every common room, smoking a fag, trawling in their news sources. Also evident are the pretentious, arsey, self-styled aesthetes who have run out of patience with everyone and just wish that the common student would grow up and try to better themselves a little. A particularly annoying habit they have is the knack of knowing what you're saying and what you mean, most particularly why it's wrong and naive to say so,(and this is before you have even opened your mouth). Lastly and most nauseatingly are the young conservatives, who rival the afore-mentioned arsey aesthetes with their own peculiar brand of intellectual pomposity. To assume that everyone falls inio these categories would be naive, the exceptions are many and varied, after all, every single person who reads this knows they aren't described here. They just know-people that are. The ultimate Top Ten Christmas List 1, An MGF of course (in British Racing Green complete wiih a Iwggage rack for that odd weekend break) 2, Penthouse .suite in'The Whitehouse'with interior tiesigrt by Terance Gotiran. 3> PJauniim account cards with aU major clothing stores, so you can shop until j?ou drop without having to feel guilty as whoever gives you this present will also deal with the account statements! "f. Gift wrapped Brad Pitt (refer to A/'/a' pages!) Years supply of groceries delivered to my door (by yet another tasty bloke) • " S, Private chef to cook fabuluus meals that are nutritionally balanced and even packing up meals to bring into the LSE so that we don't have to resort to the Brunch Bowl. 7, Caribbean cruise to depart on Christmas morning to get away from the trauma of Christmas dinner with the relatives. State of the tirt computer package with fit PA on hand to fix it when it goes wrong and to provide technical support... f. All text books on onr reading lists with the relevant sections highlighted so that we don't have to suffer the torment of set texts- .. library. Housekeeper to attack the never- ending supply of washing up and lo venture into the unknown rejtlm of bathroom cleaning. PLANTERSl NUTS Planters nuts have asked Campus if we would consider giving away 10 of their 'Nutty Party Packs'! With an offer like this we couldn't refuse and give you the chance to win a pack. Each pack contains; The oriental Dipped Peanuts (Spicy Thai Flavour) Crunchy Peanuts (Indian Relish llavour) Honey Roast Cashews and Peanuts. If nuts alone don't tempt you. then you may be pleased to know that there is a free nutty board game included in the pack to keep you occupied whilst you eat through all of the nll:^. To v, in one ol these nutty party i -ick.. either einail The Beaver or post your entry in the envelope on the Beaver office door (C()23) including your naine, contact phone number and address. HOUGHTON STREET HARRY iconic joumaiists get a lot o, mail... Dear Harry, I am writing to ask you to help i alerting your readers to conspiracy I ha recently unearthed. Have you noticed ho things are wrapped in more and moi packaging these days? Often, for exampl. you remove an outer layer of packaging find aiiother underneath. And then anoil) Andinothief, .1 suspect a huge conspiracy :1 companies to make us content with payii more and raore for less and less of product. What strange motive could they possibly have? DearHany, Have you, like, seen how written English has degenerated Jots and Jots recently. I reckon that its all a conspiracy to destroy, like, our ability to communicate proper. Don't you ever worry that one day i mite stop making sens to u and u two me... Dear Harry. Have yi>u noticcd (he rcccnt popularity of conspiracy theories in mainstream culture',* We've had 'JFK' by Oliver Stone, then the 'X Files" where the main enemy is the government. Do your readers realise this is all a huge plot by a shadowy organisation known as the International Association of Psychiatrists? It is. you know. My psychiatrist told me... Dear Harry, .Rerriember Princess Diana'.s death? Her funeral was one of the biggest sucecs.scs ever for the light entertainment industry. It made death fashionable, broadcastabte. and profitalite. Since then, both Mother Teresa and Michael Hutchence have died. Draw your own conclusions. PS A word to all INXS fans at this tragic time - Just hang in there, guys. Dear Harry. Have you noticed how Louise Woodward has become a heroine to the British public, and is considered purer than the driven snow? Have you noticed how no one seems to care what evidence there might be, but Just think she should be freed ^ from the clutches of those evil American Jiangaroo courts. ! have evidence that this whole case has been a ciirefully orchestrated PR stunt by the British Federation of ChildkiMers. aimed at establishing infanticide as a traditional English past-time. Thanks to al! my correspondents for helping me fill a columtt with minimal effort. Harry /.s currently mderjioing tlwrapy Ut cope with the /art that all the mail that he receives is really to a fictitious character writing a column and not actually for himself. 14 SPORT THE BEAVER Issue 473 - DECEMBER 2 Inter-Hall Football Bloomsbury boys vanquish Roses of Lord of the King's Three dead, one injured in badminton match LSE 1st team 7 - 2 Strand Poly 1st team Lee Federman Terror erupted on Wednesday afternoon in Elephant and Castle when 'Deadly' Dennis Wright , a now former member of the L.S.E. men's badminton team shot dead 3 Kings College students in a frenzy of jealousy and anger. Disturbed and distressed, the 18 year old lost his mind and ruined any aspirations those students may have had of obtaining a first class honours degree. Wright, an unstable individual, who had purposely omitted his string of criminal convictions from his UCAS form, was to be described the next day by the Daily Star as a 'horrific mass murderer' while his footballing hero Ian Wright expanded his vocabulary further by calling him a 'little Hitler'. Certain to face 3 life sentences, he may now reflect on whether being left out of the team was worth such a horrendous crime. However, previous to this catastrophe, the LSE badminton massive had completed yet another astounding victory. Ken Lo and Thuan Po showed their much fancied opponents what a real penis looks like and then in the game, they gave them a lesson in badminton which they will never forget. 'Filth' Freeman The world of football was rocked last weekend, after the shock resignation of the thirds inspirational leader Gavin Freeman. As the thirds took to the pitch it was clear for all to see that the players were keen to impress the new leader of the sinking ship, namely Camp Chris. The signs were not good for our boys bccau.se for the second successive game Chris Kuchanny was still unavailable for selection, his excuse being that he was involved in a multi car pile-up the previous Saturday. The inability of Kuchanny to look in his rear-view mirror, due to the medical condition 'Toomuchus mixusgrillus' has led to insurance company General Accident throwing out the oafs claim on the grounds that the choice of transport - a Wright's Bar sponsored minibus is unable to accommodate his out-of proportion arse. Jon Simple Simons slotted into the position Camp had made for him but this soon changed half way through the first half-half as Camp whimpered " I prefer doggy style." Needless to say the only Elsewhere the industrious Mohammed Khan was playing with the use of only one of his legs after injuring it in a mass brawl with a gang of Chelsea fans who had reportedly pushed in front of him in the bus stop queue. Nevertheless, he combined superbly with his partner Sohail Shaikh, who was forever wishing Khan's third leg would grow, for more than one reason, and they also took 2 out of their 3 games. First pairing of Lee Federman, as determined and motivated as ever following the comments made by his hero. Grant Mitchell, about ginger people in last Monday's episode of Eastenders, and Prashanth Rajaratnam, who is currently being scouted by the Malaysian national team, got their cocks out and penetrated them into every part of the court. Continuing their unbeaten run this season, the boys look hot and the badminton they are playing is also of a high standard. In despite of the quite beautiful badminton played, it was 'Deadly' Dennis Wright who made the headlines in the university section of the Badminton Times. Missing from action and college for the past 2 weeks due to a short spell in Dartmoor Prison, after purposely biting off one of his girlfriend's nipples, the volatile terrorist fanatic arrived unexpectedly at the sports centre at 4:05pm with his customary Yonex badminton racket. As LSE players turned around to acknowledge his dangerous presence, he looked like a man on a mission. Shaikh, Dennis's partner and lifetime friend, later reflected that he had never seen him look so 'cold and evil'. Understandably he was upset with his partner for effectively terminating their relationship and joining forces with the older, more mature and apparently 'fitter' Khan but what followed was nothing short of a bloodbath. Instead of pulling out his Carlton Powerflo, he removed a fully loaded, automatic KMS machine gun from his bag. Immediately he opened fire on the unsuspecting players, screaming 'Die motherfuckers', one of the 70 Pulp Fiction quotations in his repertoire. Fortunately it was the opposition who took the main bulk of the shots. Playing on court 1 , the bullets stood no chance statistically of impacting Federman's slender frame; Dennis's shot isn't that good. Rajaratnam, displaying his world renowned lightening footwork simply dodged anything heading in his direction and actually caught one bullet in his teeth. Elsewhere, Shaikh, using 2 opposition players as a human shield, watched agonisingly as Khan, his mentor and new lover, was struck on the hand. This would put 'Captain Mo' out of action for 3 months and leave him with the easily solvable dilemma of how to masturbate. As they later left the court. Shaikh looked eager to assist his 'partner'. 'What the fuck are you doing, man!' shouted Rajaratnam in utter disbelief, to which Wright replied, "most girls my age play with dolls but I like playing at soldiers." Obviously severely shaken as well as confused about his sexuality, Wright collapsed to the ground unconscious, only to be taken away by the local police. Detective Inspector Wayne Kerr of the metropolitan police terrorist division is treating this case suspiciously but admitted that with a good lawyer and a plea of insanity, Wright could possibly escape with 50 hours community service. Kerr did however express the consolation that the deceased were in fact students and looked in a hurry to nip off for a much needed pint in the local pub. As medics attempted to resuscitate the opposition players, Lo admitted that this was a very sad day indeed for Britain, LSE and the badminton team. Meanwhile the rest of the team left the scene of the crime, as they have done many times in the past, to find a brothel or a strip club perhaps. 'Everything changed' when Epstein got the ball and 'it only took a minute" for the Robbie Williams obsessed fresher to show that the forward line of Freeman and him were "back for good'. A blistering smash from Rees followed and as the keeper misjudged the topspin the tennis ace had applied to the ball. Mulligan couldn't miss. He slid it home Into the gaping hole, from the tightest of positions. The floodgates were well and truly opened and the inspirational Freeman, picking up the ball on the edge of the box, rifled a 20-yarder into what many believed was the top comer. Freeman had different ideas though and with time running out and with pin point accuracy, fired in a curling left foot shot that was truly top comer material. This meant it was another explosive 90 minute display by Freeman, with another tremendous climax from the goal-a-game forward. Camp's post-mortem of the game consisted of encouraging the lads to 'get behind me', in his pursuit for individual glory. The team, however had other ideas and we turned our attentions to the games ahead instead. Islington Passfield Hall 6 -1 Roseberry Hall Tino' A grey Sunday afternoon in Regent's Park was the setting for the second installment of Passfield's on going football saga. Following a well-earned 2-2 draw against Carr-Saunders, Passfield took to the field with rumours of 'Roseberry are bloody good' ringing in their ears. After fighting a bunch of girls in kits for the pitch, even though they had booked it, the match got under way. With both sides playing the sort of flowing football that one would expect from players that didn't have a hope in hell of getting into the proper LSE football teams, the game truly was a joy to watch Roseberry had several chances to take the lead in the early stages, all manfully beaten away by the unfortunately named 'Darren' in goal. His several moments of quality were characterised by shouting 'leave it, keepers!', then changing his mind silently and generously allowing the forward to overtake the defender clear onto goal (Sounds like the second team keeper to me mate - Sports Ed). The breakthrough finally came when 'Shiv' was put through on goal and cleverly played a weak shot off the defender's boot to wrong-foot the keeper. Roseberry fought on but suffered a further setback when a cunning free-kick from Luc saw captain Sargon intuitively anticipate a mistake by the sweeper and run on to chip the keeper. The second half started (As it usually does- Sports Ed), and super-sub Owain -'I'm a Welshman and I interfere with sheep'- came on to execute a stunning dipping volley into an empty net. His unusual celebration included cries of 'Where's the sheep? Come on flossy' amid strains of 'Bread of Heaven'. All this while the assorted Passfield defenders (with crap nicknames) of 'Ginga' Mick, 'Cheesy' Ken, 'Wild Man' Will and 'Ivan the Terrible' were marshalling the defence with shouts of 'Come on hardman'. However, it was unclear whether this had anything to do with football or if it was to do with fondling the opposing forwards. A brief respite came when Tassa was displaying her combined interest in football and boyfriend Jamie by having her back to the game when a player ran into her, sending her tlying and prompting Jess to display sympathy by commenting; 'He shagged her up the arse'. At this stage Roseberry pulled a goal back from a clever set piece, but Owain-'The Taff- pounced again by watching a slippery ball slide between the keepers legs (Ooh-Er Mabinty), roll along the line and be missed by a defender, at which point the leek guzzling Owain poked it in from two inches out, like on his more successful Friday nights (when back home in Wales, roaming the fields more than likely). Late into the game, Roseberry were reduced to ten men through injury, though they didn't want one of Passfields subs to join them. They were heard to suggest though that either of the home fans, Jess or Mabinty could as they were 'Well scary!'. After this hilarious episode, all that was left to come in this amazing match (Don't you wish you were there?), was a second goal by Shiv and an intricate passing move that was well finished by Jack. Does your Hall want to play Passfield?-Phone Ben Goodyear on 0171-387-7743. Happy Campers Filthy Freeman bags hat-trick as Camp takes over captaincy LSE 3rd XI 4 - 0 Strand Poly 3rd XI highlight of the first-half was when Camp won the toss at the start of the game and in his inexperience, asked the referee 'does that mean we have to go skins?' The stern look the referee gave Camp with his inability to grasp the rules of the pre-match toss-up wiped the smile off his face, although we could all tell that he was strangely turned on. Camp's team talk consisted ofj asking the inspirational Freeman 'what do you reckon?'. Inspirational Freeman was quick to note that John 'Tennis Boy' Rees' amazing abilities were being squandered on the tramlines. A substitution was made and Rees was employed on the right hand side of the court. After ten minutes pressure by Freeman, the thirds won a comer. The first two served by Rees were double faults as Mulligan's headers were easily saved. The third comer was a different story as Rees served an ace with his 'Wilson' approved racket, still dripping from its previous night's five-setter at the legendary Bankside courts. Freeman rose at the near post with a spring in his step after the weight of captaincy had been lifted from his shoulders. His header blasted into the net and then there was a ten minute delay as nobody dared t o u c h t h e steaming pusball, doused in the nuclear waste that doubles as iFreemans gel. The long awaited deadlock was broken and Freeman knew that now he had broken through the initial barrier, his performance could only be compared to his foreplay: The best was still to cum. After our 'officially blind'- true!-goalkeeper pulled off a good save to keep us in the game it was left to Michael 'Take That' Epstein to 'Relight the fire'. THE BEAVER DECEMBER 2 - Issue 473 SPORT 15 Rugby 2nd XV keep 100% record intact LSE rugger boys get trounced again LSE 2nd XV 5 -15 Sussex University Captain Jez and mate After a week off, we decided it was time to end our unbelievable record, and so it was off to Guildford seeking the virginal victory. With an unprecedented turn out ( A FULL TEAM) the LSE Golden Boys were in high spirits as we marched onward and hopefully upward towards our battle field on the hill. We headed to the changing rooms in search of divine inspiration. As a result, not only did our captain have his first ever game plan, but the ensuing performance of the team was godly. With the first kick off came a determination and aggression that is unheard off in the 2nd XV. A new addition in the form of 'Ginger' Leroy, coupled with the return of Winston ' I wish I was Zin Zan Brooke' Eavis enhanced the already fantastic forwards. Even Russell 'I wish I had a belt' managed to keep the contents of his stomach down, and have a sober game. As the first half drew on, the forwards and backs combined perfectly to give the complacent Surrey Slappers a good fisting, with Zar 'If you play me at prop I'll sulk and tell my Mummy' scoring. The Slappers, shocked into submission, saw that our previous record was in fact a fallacy and so picked up their game. The rest of the half saw them camped on our line, but failing to penetrate the defences that our golden wall offered.. Steve Seget guided the scrum superbly, and the other new face, Andy Cho consistently kicked us out of trouble, showing Surrey some lovely leg-work . Thus, as half time arrived we were five nil up, and that elusive victory was within our grasp, all be it without the injured septic tank Chris Boyd. As we kicked to them to start the second half they were spread wide. They began with a passion and forwardness that only One for the rugby lads Guildford could provide, and on getting a penalty found the leaks in the golden showers, capitalising immediately and equalising. Keeping our heads high, we went straight back at them, with Tony Leung giving them the run around and playing hard to get, with a blinding move down the left wing and across the pitch. This spurred the team on and we looked as though we could score at any moment. However, our efforts were almost too great and injuries resulted as the Slags got dirty. Firstly, the centre Nick 'I can play this week' Germaine got winded and "was scared" as he thought that he had stopped breathing. Next came Andy Cho's leg, followed by Sean going down, but true to LSE sprit they all played on. However, loss of concentration lead to us conceding another try. This provided the impetus for the Golden Boys' aggression to rise to a new level. This was epitomised by Captain J's run from our 22 into their 22, not only side stepping blades of grass but also leaving half their players in his slip stream. The Sluts, unimpressed with lez's statistics managed to squeeze back through our defence and score their last try. With four minutes to go the Golden Ringed Warriors did not give up and gave it their all. This was in vain, the final whistle blew and Photo. Nina score settled at 15-5. Having almost realised our potential we left the 'whore house on the hill', returning to London with all the team knowing that together we will win soon. The sweet smell of success is in the air. However, one question remains, where was Tim Rossington to witness this creation of a truly golden side. Player Profile introducing Captain Jez, 2nd XI rugby leader and man about the Tuns. We 1 regularly see him drop his pants on a Wednesday night during one of the rugby teams bizarre rituals, but today we are more interested in the content of his head rather than the content of his pants. Read on to find out more......................................................... Name; Jeremy Gewendahl Nickname; Captain Jez age; 20 Date of Birth; 16. 01. 77 Weight; 8.5 stone Height; diddy Dept; Geography Favourite drink; JD and coke Favourite food; Sushi (That's raw fish you dumb twat) Favourite film; Toy Story Last CD bought; "Don't leave" by Faithless Sporting Hero; Frankie Dettori Three things you would take on a desert island with you; Harvey Nichols, Tickle-me-cookie monster, , Black and Decker Multi-Drill and Power Bench (solar powered) Last book you read; Marabou Stork Nightmares Most like to be stuck in a lift with; Melanie Sykes (If Kate Griffiths isn't handy) Least like to be stuck in a lift with; A llama - they spit Favourite Nightclub; Volts Y-fronts or boxers; I don't care (as long as he gives good head) Favourite chat up line; 'If your left leg is Christmas and your right leg is easter, can I" visit you between the holidays?' Next Week- LSE footballing legend and general 'crazy cat', Nader 'The Monk' Fatemi. We gasp as he recounts wild tales of his time at the LSE. We shudder as he tells us his weekly alcohol consumption and we look on in envy as he then leaves us to go to one of his infamous library parties that we always here about. Strand Poly dicked all over by 4th's 4th's Mustaffa win, James Mustaffa goal, we mustaffa better headline than this somewhere. LSE 4th's 5 - 3 Kings 3rds 'Canny' Pete Clegg Without our star player, Rabu Muhabutu, LSE 4th's expected a tough game against King's 3rd's on Saturday. However, pretty boy James Mustaffa returned to the team after a 2 week stint modelling in Paris, and it was largely down to him that we won this game with ease. From the kick off LSE were on top and it was no surprise when we scored the opening goal. Dave McGuinnes, having just returned from his lead role in the popular Christmas pantomime 'Gingerlocks and the 3(3) beers', played a great through ball which resulted in a shot by Clegg being handled on the line. Captain marvel 'canny' Clegg scored from the spot slotting home with ease, to make it 1-0 to the LSE. However King's equalised before half time to make it 1-1, with the rest of the team wondering just where the defence was. Well, Mark was visiting his girlfriend, Kenny was unsurprisingly injured, Kwan was again unsuccessfully claiming offside and Gideon was getting kicked to shit outside McDonald's. A rousing, motivating team talk was needed at half time by the captain, so Clegg decided to have a beer and a couple of snouts. Five minutes into the second half two substitutions were made. Clegg had to go off because he's unfit, and 'stunners' Newton had to go off because he's shit. These substitutions had an instant effect, as LSE now had eleven fit men on the pitch, and pretty boy James decided he Mustaffa goal. And what a goal it was, with Mustaffa rifling home from 25 yards into the roof of the net. James later claimed that his goal was 'better than sex', although Becky may not be too pleased when she hears this. Despite going behind. King's soon equalised. Kwan decided he'd try and emulate Mustaffa's wonder strike, and succeeded by scoring a 35 yard screamer. Unfortunately it was into our own goal leaving Leigh Porter helpless as the ball flew into the top corner. However, with Will 'wildman' Paxton and Ralph 'blunder' Banks dominating the middle of the park LSE soon went ahead. The goal was scored again by Mustaffa and created by McGuinnes, whose own game had improved dramatically when his I o V e r b o y Andy Goodman appeared on the sidelines. Goodman knows how to get maximum performance from Guiness and the mention of extra anal penetration did the trick again. Pretty boy James then decided he Mustaffa hat-trick and duly obliged with a one yard tap in. Everyone in the team was delighted with the goal, the exception being Stu 'I'm getting really pissed off with being called a paedophile' Martin, who .shook his head in disbelief when realising he'd again failed to score (with an over 16 year old). There was still time for King's to pull a goal back, before Banks capped a great second half performance by scoring LSE's 5th goal. A good result whichbodes well for the season, as long as Gideon stops getting into needless fights, Mark persuades his girlfriend to-i loosen her grip on him. Pretty boy drops his modelling to concentrate on football, and McGuiness drops his filthy eating and drinking habits, shedding some much needed weight in the process. Apology We apologise for an article printed in a previous edition of this paper, concerning a rugby match involving the LSE, which has caused offence to certain persons due to its suggested homophobic content. We in future will endeavour to ensure that all articles on these pages are vetted thoroughly for any deflamatory remarks and comments that cause offence to various sections of the LSE community. I m f- ¦ w ¦"[*» » ' . *•* t . , ^ '/ 'J -Nv-rf'* ?¦ < T ¦4^' VV"/ jgaii «>: - r< ask rself IS there any reason why I should not have a great life? 0 'iTy^z Monitor Company is a strategy consulting firm with o global network of offices, employing over 750 professionals world-wide in over 30 countries. It is our challenge to excel in the way we choose and develop our people. For us, extending on invitation to join is an expression of our confidence in your ability to develop into a world-class professional, able to provide leodership on issues and in areas well beyond the conventional. 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