GOVERNOR ASSASSINATED! M. Atilla disappears after Court of Governors' Meeting — Foul Play feared ! PROLETARIAN emissary believed callously assassinated by capitalist running-dog lackeys of Hick-spittle imperialist clique. M. Atilla, a founder party member of the Moletarian movement, was elected by the masses in a crushing indictment of the Quisling activities of the 'Gang of Four' and their puerile hireling Julian Ingram. Our Moletarian hero was last seen entering the den of anti-Socialist conspiracy, alias the Court of Governors. With one accord the assembled creative inteliigentsia and herdsmen from all around the world, but mainly a bored student from Clapham, burst into spontaneous slogans : "Free the Proles ! Up the Moles ! Save our Souls!" But," fraternal comrades, a fatal blow was struck our Revolutionary hope : M. Atilla did not return. Consternation struck the assembled student, spontaneous mass action was carried on—he went home, shouting "Practise Mole-ism, not Revisionism, Uphold Moletarian Internationalism." We are not afraid to point the finger. The -ile fr;rell<:=*. -T'-Oinv__ ,_______ Ingram were humiliated by their status as sub-stuffed Moles. The responsibility for our hero's Brand new superplan! YES, those wonder-boys, our sabbaticals, have come up with yet another astounding plan for increasing bureaucracy and giving them less work. It's called bi-weekly Union Meetings. According to them, the UGMs from last term have not been getting through their agenda, and it is true that the Chairperson doesn't know what A.O.B. means. It remains to be seen what halving the number of Union meetings will do to solve this problem. Another of the problems which they see is the failure to distribute agendas on time. This I think is their responsibility and it is their failure which is harming the Union Meeting. Between them they have devised a plan which involves an Executive Steering committee which seems to control motions and composite them. Motions and Amendments have to be handed in weeks beforehand. The result can only be an increase in the manoeuvring of political groups at the expense of the Union floor. Debates in future will be fought out on the Executive. Throw out this attack on Union Autonomy ! Student Governor M. Atilla stabbed in the back Crockery One of the originators of the plan replies: Union meetings, once every two weeks ? STUDENTS who attended UGMs last term cannot have avoided thinking that they were poorly organised, badly run and partly irrelevant which led to it being poorly attended. Some issues have been discussed several times, leaving no time for other issues. This means that sometimes there is no SU policy decided for meetings with the school. Also much of the Union's policy is now out of date. It would be near impossible, and certainly take too long to correct this situation with the present organisation of the UGM. On the basis that one cannot make a rational decision in Union meetings if you, the members, haven't been given the relevant information (preferably written) with sufficient time to consider it, then people will be unable to make' a sensible decision or will not attend. Thus the "New Union General Meeting." NB : This does not in any way change Emergency Union Meetings. After all motions and questions to officers have been submitted on the first Thursday the Executive on the first Friday would decide the order of the motions according to the priorities already contained in the Constitution, and answer the questions. (The prioritising of motions for debate is essential if we are to get out of the present logjam business). This would be published on Monday and amendments would be submitted by Wednesday. The amendments and all reports including the Executive report with any relevant information would be published on the second Thursday. This revised system would have to be based on a fortnightly UGM. PETE CROCKFORD disappearance lies with the Student Governors "The Gang of Four-and-a-half" are a bunch of political swindlers donning the cloak of Mole-ism—Leninism. It is imperative to comprehend Mole Atilla's Thought accurately and in its entirety, strip the gang of their "leftist" guises and lay bare the ultra-right essence of their counterrevolutionary, revisionist line. The Anarchist movement have not given up hope for their comrade and are, at this very moment, considering the possibility of buying another mole from Littlewoods. Moles of all countries and all Downtrodden Animals UNITE! PEACOCK with assistance from the Soutfi London Workers' Bulletin. New students' conference THE reception -af new students in 1978 is untie? discussion by the School and the Students Union at the moment. At a meeting on the 12th of January, Dav:d Southwell of the first year society, spoke cf "the awful problem of loneliness and estrangement that was a feature of the first week of term." Mr Grun, the Dean of Undergraduate Studies felt that most people were quite happy with last year's arrangements but agreed that there were many 'snags' that needed to be eradicated. He stressed that the non-residential reception of last year was only an experiment and that it should be tried once more this year to give it a fair trial. He emphasised that one of the School's problems was that of finance. Changes that have been provisionally agreed upon include a better system of student hosting whereby students would be grouped according to subject and have a far more structured first two days at the School. David Southwell, who is "a first year student," suggested that each group should have a room as an informal base from which to work with information posted as a general guide. Mr Grun agreed that this was the ideal and suggested that arrangements would have to be made with the Timetables office. Finally, it was suggested that it would be nice if the Director were more in evidence during the first week—perhaps even visiting individual groups. Mr Grun did not really feel that this was the function of the reception, however. A further meeting has been arranged for February. Carol Saunders. STUDENTS' UNION HARDSHIP FUND ! THE Student Union runs a hardship fund i which consists of about £6,000. This furatf is allocated on the basis of comparative hardship. All self-financing students may apply to this fund. Application forms are available from the Union offices and the closing date for applications is 23rd of January. If you are a self-financing student and are in financial trouble, do apply to the fund. C NEWSPAPER OF THE LSE 17th JANUARY, 1978 ISSUE NO. 166 PAGE 2 & ENTERTAINMENTS GIGS BLAST FURNACE AND THE HEAT WAVES LIVE! 3 TUNS! FRIDAY 27th •JAN ! FREE THE Caped Crusader rates Blast Furnace as one of the finest guitarists he's ever seen. You may think that this is just another new wave band playing loud and fast and sending everybody running for cover but you're wrong. Blast, whose real identity remains a secret, is heavily influenced by Chicago based blues and the 3 Tuns provides an ideal venue for his hot and sweaty music. Those of you who saw him at SGAS last term and as support to the Boomtown Rats at the Rainbow Theatre will already be convinced of the Vitality and energy of his music, which combined with the subtlety and feeling of da blooze make any appearance by Blast an evening not to forget. PEOPLE 3 TUNS 8 PM FRIDAY, 20th JAN FREE FOLLOWING, their success in the 3 Tuns last term, LSE Ents is pleased to welcome back this nine-piece funk band. This is a band you just can't sit still to, and coupled with the soul funk, disco that will be running all night you don't want to miss it. If you're feeling fat and flabby after Christmas and New Year excesses then it's an ideal way to lose weight by grooving the night away. As usual admission is the ridiculously low price of nothing as it is for all events in the 3 Tuns. So come along. Max How to run a Disco AFTER the sad retirement of Colin (Eunty ghengis) Anderson from th? post of disco manager for the LSE, Sieve (Mr Noisy) Bradbury has stepped into his still warm ar.d extremely smelly cowboy boots. Fcr iaai.ofit of those-who would like to book the disco (complete With lights, records, one DJ and a trusty follower to hump the gear) we have decided to print a list of points necessary for running a society party or a private piss-up. The new disco (the one with the lights) now costs £15 to hire including a £5 non-returnable deposit, and the slightly less new orange disco (the one without the lights) costs the meagre sum of £10 to hire also including a £5 non-returnable deposit. Anyway, here is the aforementioned list of things to do for a good hop:— (1) Contact Steve Bradbury through the Ents Committee (Room sna>. (2) Check that the disco is free for the required night. If 'it- isn't arrange an alternative date. (.3) Book the room or Concourse Area as required. (4) Pay the £o deposit required to confirm the booking (make cheques payable to LSE Entertainments Committee). (5) Give Ted in the Three Tuns Bar AT LEAST a week's notice for alcohol/soft drink orders.---------- --------- ---------- (6) If you want to get reasonable numbers to your bop—advertise with posters etc. (7) If you hire the Squire please give the further £10 to the DJ on the night, or £5 if you hire the Orange disco. We also charge transport fees for Hall of Resident discos. (8) Free beer for the DJ is always appreciated on the night. (9) Dance like a loony, drink like a fish and above all enjoy yourself! Forthcoming discos include:— January: Friday 27th — Three Tuns FREE concert with the Blast Furnace and Heat Wave with disco. February: Friday 10th — Carr Saunders disco and don't forget EVERY Friday there is a free disco in the Three Tuns Bar. Mr Noisy 5? Ul£ Mi... AtiOTtiZt TZtt*...... You R>H fyofc ZMrftKlATioriS, Mi> fiPftV (fruesziF To jyt TfiSf. rf'Vfissftig ...... T&Jt-S Tf/g. LSCrofSeS, file ClJteiS; m £$sflvs. Af.'P Of SOCIAL UPS.. I TU'tlt MV UFS'Z BY Too POST... GUIDE TO VENUES IF you missed Sennet's guide to venues at the beginning of the year, here's a brief refresher:— Nashville (North End Rd, W14) Probably the best venue in London—small enough for a really great atmosphere (the sort you can cut with a knife) yet big enough. Drinks are moderately price: entrance, is generally 75p/£l and the bandes are consistently excellent. A good place to meet people. Hope and Anchor (Upper St, Islington N1) Another good venue. Often very crowded, especially at weekends. Cellar has excellent acoustics but it can be very cold, especially if the hand aren't too hot. Red Cow (Hammersmith Rd, W6) Another pub. It has an excellent friendly pub atmosphere. The Jam used to play here for free. Many of the other pubs which have live music are a good distance from LSE, for example The Pegasus and The Rochester Castle are in Stoke Newington, but they're worth a visit. Also worth a visit are:— The Golden Lion (Fulham) The Torrington (Finchley) The Kensington (W14) Haif Moon (Putney) The Greyhound (Fulham Palace Road) The Windsor Castle (Harrow Rd) The Brecknock (Caledonian Rd, N1) The Marquee (90 Wardour St) Generally agreed to be something of a hole.. However, they do have some good bands, the prices are not too extortionate and students do get in cheap. 100 Club (100 Oxford St) Run by the genial "Godfather" of punk, Ron Watt. Whole gamut of music—trad jazz, blues, reggae, punk. Drinks quite cheap and the. CEiSese food is excellent. Students get in at members' rates. Music Machine (opp Mornington Cresc. station) Strange venue; the stage is about ten feet above the floor—zero atmosphere. Mid-price. Mostly old wave bands. Dingwalls (Camden Lock) is pricey and the service in all departments is slow. Half-price drinks before 10.30 and some gotfl groups though you might have to pay twice the price for seeing them at Dingwalls rather than elsewhere. Rock Garden (corner King & St James St WC2) Admission prices reasonable but drinks are expensive. Food reasonable. Classy, so I'm told, but not sophisticated. Roxy (Nea! St, WC2) Beyond the pale, even for provincial poseurs. It's closing in February, so if you want to tell your grandchildren you were there, go now. Retains little ®C its former je ne sais quoi. Vortex (Wardour St, W1) Took over from The Roxy as the punk place, t-» be seen in. My informant tells me that it's got three bars and that the drinks aren't too expensive. Lyceum (Strand, WC2) An excellent venue. Pity it isn't used more by major acts. Not too expensive and a choice whether you sit or stand. Either way you'll be able to SSS the band. Roundhouse (Ghalk Farm Rd, N1) Smallest of the large venues, and one of the better places to spend a Sunday evening. Wide variety Of groups. Getting to the bar can be a nightmare. Rainbow (Seven Sisters Rd, N4) The best of London's two major venues, though that isn't saying much. Don't sit upstairs if you ca.a avoid it and watch out for the bouncers if you consider yourself too young to die. Hammersmith Odeon Not as good as the Rainbow—atmosphere soma-what sterile—the view from the back of the balcony is indescribable. Still, a "gbod gig'is a good gig evew at Hammersmith. The venues above are those that suggested them -selves as the most obvious to write about. Some time (hopefully soon) we will be reviewing some more esoteric venues—for example, folk, jazz and others. JANE "HOLY Gringos, Batman, the Ents Committee is decimated," said Robin as he climbed out of the Batmobile on his triumphal return to commence a new term at LSE. "Steady Robin." said Batman clutching at his Utility belt, "what we need are some new super (20% more active ingredients) Ents persons." "But Batman," said Gobbin in his tattered T shirt all ripped n' torn and held together with safety pins—"what about these wrecks of humanity?" He motioned towards half a dozen or so washed out, exhausted people in the corner. "Don't worry, Bobbin." said Batman pausing only to flob on a passing freak, "these are the men who have sacrificed their degrees to work in Ents. People like the Great One, Andy Cornwell (Sir to his friends) who has slaved for two years in the thick of it and now has to cram a three year degree into two terms, the new people will take their places." Biggies, who was snorting a line in the cupboard, emerged into the daylight, carefully adjusting his Graham Parker type shades, summed it all up. "Wot a fuckin' waste of time." Sorry about all this trivia folks but seriously speaking the Ents Committee has lost some great hardworking people like Andy. Dave, Peter and Jon and all those "too numerous to mention." Our new spcial sec is Max who tries hard and OK he may have tried to book Elvis Presley this week but he'll learn. Come along and give him a hand and all in S118 (Ents Room). Anything from deejays to gear humpers are requested, you don't get much in the way of material benefits hut the people are great and it's good for a laugh. Let's leave the last words to Batman:— "Hi Ho silver and away" (oops! wrong character). Max THE BAROQUE BEATLES BOOK, Joshua Rifkin, Nonesuch Records. PERHAPS this record, issued some years ago but only recently discovered by me in the bowels of Holborn record library, is of a slightly intellectual interest, for it does help to have an understanding of Baroque music forms as well as a knowledge of the tunes of the Beatles. The melodies of the Beatles are clearly in a Classical tradition and Joshua Rifkin cleverly sets them in a Baroque style, though the Liverpool influence is ever present. Perhaps my favourite track is the aria "When I was Younger Help!" sung by Harold Brieres, in which the orchestral colours of Handel are subtly reflected, using the devices of expression the original master initiated so effectively. This is a humorous and cleverly executed work and well worth a listen. I shall try to get the BBC to play some of it on their Sunday morning record request programme, so look out for it in your Radio Times! JONATHAN RICHMOND. REGGAE REGGAE is an attitude rather than a .specific musical form. It is characterised by an infectious beat-distinctively slow and heavy, dubious harmonies, and attractively naive lyrics. It comprises a mixture of protest and love songs played by working-class Jamaicans from the slums of Trenchtoton (theoretically). However, most reggae lyrics comprise obscure slang, and are sung in such heavy Jamaican accent, that they are practically incomprehensible' anyway. I went beserk in the Virgin-Warehouse with my Barclaycai'S last week: "Protest" by Bunny. Wailer (Island) was disappointing It's an attempted fusion of reggae and hard rock, and ends up as a limp mixture containing the worst elements of both. The other two ex-members of the original Wailers are also heading away from their roots. Bob Marley's "Exodus" (Island) lacks the controlled energy and uncluttered sound of "Nattay Dread". "Equal Rights" by Peter Tosh (Virgin) includes reggae's most over-covered track, "Get uf) stand up", and is pretty good. My favourite records of-the bunch are "Chant down Babylon Kingdom ' (ITAL) and "Deliver me from my enemies" (Import) by Yabby You alias Yabba Youth alias Vivian Jackson, and "King Tubbys meets rockers uptown" (Import). I'm not looking forward to my next Bafclaycard statement. Andrew Campbell ACTION COMMITTEE THE FIGHT AGAINST FASCISM AND RACISM GOES ON ACAR (Anti-Racist, Anti-Fascist Committee) has been in existence for a term. It was eriginally meant "to aid outside groups in their fight against racism, and to expose and root out racism here in LSE" and. to "awaken students and staff to the urgency ef this problem" (racism and fascism). Little of this has been achieved yet! Why is this? Perhaps LSE students are not fully sensitised to the importance of participating actively in anti-racist, anti-fascist committees. Perhaps ACAR has not done enough publicity or/and has not organised events that would draw people's attention and awaken their interest. Or, even more so, the reason might be that people in .general regard fascism (when and if they ij£ think about it) as some political evil .personified in "nasty" National Front CN.F.) and without much relevance to us LSE students. A number of articles have already been wiiitten in Beaver about Racism and Fascism and I largely agree with some of them. Still, I would like to emphasise a few PQiijts: Extreme right-wing parties expounding racist and fascist filth always exist. But they only become mass parties when the material conditions are there. These conditions (crisis of monopoly capitalism, rise cf working class militancy, general contusion and dissatisfaction amongst petty bourgeoisie, unemployed workers and reactionary members of the ruling class) are "utilised" by the State. The State (in all its forms) gives racism a respectable face, in the shape of immigration laws for instance. Or it promotes fascism (not necessarily deliberately): —by restricting the strength of working class organisations and neutralising them to the extent of making them powerless—not quite yet—(ie Grun-wick's sad defeat on the recognition of basic Union rights, ok, most of these workers are'Asian and women); —by attacking the few legal rights women have won (ie attacks on abortion rights); —by scapegoating gay people (ie sacking of lesbian MP Maureen Colquhoun); —by encouraging police harassment of blacks (ie Notting Hill Carnival, The Islington 18 and no end) and increasing police intervention against Trade Unionists and students (breaking up of student occupations by masses of police, Special Patrol, open provocation and brutal attacks of Grunwick pickets were done under the approval of his Highness Home Secretary Merlin Rees); —by introducing reactionary legislation (ie Prevention of Terrorism Act—how- about State terrorism Trespass Law). and Criminal (?!) The most worrying part of all this is that the State is playing on people's prejudices and imperialist left-over attitudes and ideas. The N.F. does the same, only in a much more obvious way. It exploits the anxiety and fears caused by unemployment, homelessness and powerlessness and directs all this, potentially revolutionary dissatisfaction, against easily identified scapegoats: blacks, socialists, gays, women. This is a very important point, not to be forgotten: Fascism is not only anti-working class, it is also: anti-socialist anti-women anti-gay anti everything that stands in its way of total power. 1 The role of the media, judiciary, academic institutions in promoting racism is far more subtle and because of that more effective. RASCISM AND FASCISM MUST BE FOUGHT! Ideologically, politically, physically. What are you doing about it? As an ACAR member has said: "To stay silent is to take sides." (Next ACAR meeting is Tuesday 17th at 1.00 pm. There will be a speaker from the Brixton Black Collective. For later events watch out for posters. I Bank robbery exPLOsion RECENTLY I received my quarterly statement from Williams and Glyn's Bank and was surprised to find that bank charges of £2.55 had. been levied. I phoned up for "an explanation ana "was told Wat as a student, I should not have been charged anything, and the .error would be corrected. I was informed that when the Bank Introduced charges for some customers earlier in 1977, they Should have programmed the computer to avoid charging students who kept their accounts in credit, but a number of these had slipped through. "We can only find these if they spot the mistake and report it." As an excuse, I was told that the bank had "a large number of accounts". What concerns me is that it is quite conceivable that some students are less diligent in checking their statements than me, and could well have missed the erroneous "charges" entry. If you banlT~TrtTr~ v/muiii.s anu-airW* and have been in the black, have a look through recent statements, and report any mistaken charges immediately. It is interesting that banks give themselves the right to remove sums from your account without authority, whereas everyone else requires it (eg. in the form of a cheque). I still think that Williams and Glyn's is by far the best bank-anyone can make small mistakes-service is first-rate and personal, and everyone is most helpful there, contrary to some of the stories I have heard about The Big Four. Help the aged 2JELP THE AGED is one of the largest charities in this country. Its concerns range from day centres and hospital projects for our own old people to blankets and financial support for refugees and destitutes overseas. During the summer of this year a pilot scheme was launched using student workers to go from house to house collecting good used clothing apd bedding. About 30 to 40 per cent of these goods were sold in the charity's own gift shops for cash; the worst items were sold as rags while the remainder, especially blankets, were stored in warehouses for future use in disasters (such as the Turkey earthquake). Finally, some clothing was sent directly overseas for immediate use. This pilot scheme was a success in terms of costs and the amount of clothing raised. Help the Aged now propose to enlarge this appeal to, cover most of the outer London suburban areas during the Easter and summer university vacations of 1978. It is hoped to offer holiday jobs to. 75-95 students and it is important, if you are interested, to get in ! touch with Help the Aged immediately to be sure of a place. All of the | staff on the pilot scheme found the work very enjoyable. Most of the positions on offer are part-time (about 5i hours a day, Monday-Friday, with evening work in the summer). Pay is allied to the amount of clothing collected and it is expected that most part-timers would earn £30 per week (basic wage plus bonus). One team on the pilot scheme reached £37. There are also full-time jobs available as team supervisors for people over 25 with a clean driving licence, and appeal Organisers who will co-ordinate the work. Naturally, pay for the full-time posts will be higher. Experience of administration and organising people is very necessarily for these full time jobs. If you are interested, you should write to Help the Aged, Student Appeal, 32 Dower Street, London, W1A 2AP. r-orr-ne* i|uiii -uHdsretnni# why the dissolving of the state of Israel should not mean peace in the Middle East. Since when are there wars in the Middle East? Why do Moslems, Jews and Christians not live in peace in Palestine/Israel as they did, let us say, in 1877 ? There is no peace in Palestine/ Israel since Zionists came to this part from many different countries to build up a state exclusively for Jews. What does the PLO want? The PLO wants to build up a secular, democratic state in which Moslems, Jews and Christians (without discrimination) enjoy the same rights and duties. The PLO wants, to give a trivial example, that everybody can eat his meals according to his religious laws, and not, as it is at the moment at the Tel Aviv University, that everybody eating at that Students' Restaurant has to eat according to Jewish religious laws—meaning that he/she has to eat kosher. The PLO wants, to give a more important example, that it is a question of politics and votes that the President of the state of Israel could be a Palestinian, and the Zionist ideology excludes this. Even today Palestinians with an Israel passport cannot join Menahem Begin's party Likud, not to speak about the Palestinians in the occupied territories, who are not allowed to found a culture club, let alone parties. I do not know why Zionists are against the idea of living together in a secular, democratic state. Because this living together was once possible, as for example the last century shows, but of course at that time one respected each other and did not claim the land just for one political, religious group. The core of the Middle East problem is not the refugee problem of the Palestinians, as Zionists like to put it, and it is not a problem about borders, it is the problem of a state for the Palestinians. Whoever does not "know" this, cannot solve the Middle East problem. Wolfgang, Deckers, International Relations Department Find out more about ARTHUR ANDERSEN on WEDNESDAY, 25th JANUARY at 6.30 pm at THE WALDORF HOTEL, ALDWYCH where you will have the opportunity to talk to Partners, Managers and Staff about the opportunities with the firm. Refreshments will be provided. Application forms can be obtained from the Careers Office, who will be scheduling interview times for THURSDAY, 26th JANUARY. DEBORAH B. COHEN, Chairperson of the Jewish Society, writes in her article, "So now we know", that the PLO's reaction to President Sadat's visit to Israel has shown that "the goals of the Palestinians are clearly not peace but the destruction of the state of Israel" (Beaver. No 165, November 29th 1977, p.3) GIVING a cursory glance over the pride of student journalism, I was struck by the sameness of student papers . . . shock horror ... I have tried to pick out the more interesting titbits ! * GRIP (Manchester Univ.) Contained an amusing article with David Steele, in which on the question of PR for elections to the European Parliament he is quoted as saying "I think there is a good chance we will get the bill through ..." Tee Hee. * KLAP (South Bank Poly) Yet another amusing interview—this time with a Christian—who says being an NF member is not compatible with being a Christian. Phew ... I occasionally get worried about them thar Bishops and Priests, but apparently God has definitely come down on our side, so we persecutees can rest in peace now that God is officially in on a non-sectarian basis. * McGAREL (Poly of Centra! Londoti) McGarel is full of headings like "Ex-President vomits back" and d '"quick •MfGrovei to Radio One (as if' any self-respecting student listens to anything other than Capital Radio 194). Yeah, we sympathise. If your copy is ONE-HALF as boring as ours, it DESERVES rotten headings. The record reviews in McGarel are so numerous that I suspect them to be on the take from the record companies. Unlike our own dear Ents who only received a couple of hundred FREE records last year . . . McGarel reports that a new "Love and Admiration of the Royal Family Society has been formed at Sussex University. Among its activities — a Jubilee tea party (with Victoria Sandwiches and Battenburg Cakes) and a picket of Buck House because Mark and Pete have no titles ! * MAGUS (King's College) Contained a profile of Ernie Warrell who is the college Organist—well it's their paper—actually it is reminiscent of School Magazines, nice, neat, and (e.g. Chaplain's Chat and so on) well presented and BORING !!! No interesting long-winded repetitious political articles dictated from Party Headquarters full of 'facts' and 'news' ... oh, they don't know what they're missing. * NEPAM (NELP) Interesting to see that at NELP there are pass laws. Students and staff have to show their passes to guards on the gate. Nearby at Waltham Forest College no 'political' posters are allowed and no 'political' newspapers can be sold. Makes a change from LSE. Horrific happenings include the abduction of the Union secretary by a new terrorist grouping calling itself "The Anarchist Party of Britain (Groucho-Marxist)". Their communique entitled "Noddy in Nelpland" was printed in NEPAM. Could this be a new breed of desperados ? Look out, Cheryl! We've got to do another 11 words — that's it now. GUY ELL80TT PAGE N.U.S. CON. 1977 SO here we are in Blackpool. The weather is grim and the local residents hostile. Our delegatioti is a motley collection of seven individuals who cannot be relied upon to agree on anything. Just to make things worse the precious LSE policy box has proved to be two years out of date. A fun time is about to be had by all! SUE SLIPMAN Conference swings into gear with a speech from •Communist' Sue Slipman (President) that leaves the left wing foaming at the mouth, aiia gaining her a standing ovation from the Tories. "We can only achieve unity on the right basis," she states (too right, Sue1) and "taxpayers have a right to know how the Union spends its money." An admirable sentiment, but haven't I heard it before somewhere? . . . Someone else seems to agree with me—and it takes five minutes to wrest the megaphone from him. EMMANUEL HAND The meeting is stopped in its tracks as we hear the serious news that a delegate from Northern Ireland, Emmanuel Hand has been arrested at the airport and is being held under the Prevention of Terrorism Act as a suspected member of the IRA. Conference registers its disgust and demands his immediate release. The Executive and Conference strongly disapprove of the call for a picket that the International Socialists initiate, and the resulting picket is disappointing. Emmanual is released the next day. SHIRLEY WILLIAMS Our first guest speaker is Shirley Williams. As she arrives on to the platform there is a spontaneous rising all over the hall of people holding posters bearing the words "Williams closed our college and "4.000 unemployed teachers say go home Shirley, stop the Cuts. Undaunted, Ms Williams begins her previously written speech with thanks for such a warm reception. She cannot continue. At last she is forced to reply to the posters. She has she states, made provision for another 11.000 teachers and closure of colleges is due to the declining population. Fees will not be raised except to take inflation into account, she says, and this will be between 9 and 10 per cent. I, for one, am not convinced. Turning to Students' Unions, she tells us that we must remember the taxpayers who subsidise us (I've definitely heard this before), but asserts that her prime aim is not to make cuts, nor to end UOtaP-.-y autonomy. On the question of Jewish Societies she is adamant that support must not be removed from them and that Unions should not deny a platfoun to racists. There follows a standing ovation with Julian, Kay and Harris in the forefront (naughty. I thought we had Union policy on this!). Our own Roger Galloway brings the house down when he asks how "Ms Williams justifies taking money from ordinary men and women to line the coffers of fat capitalist pigs". As the majority of our delegation sinks down into its seats in embarrassment. Ms Williams replies that cuts "have to be made". MOTIONS (1) Subscriptions—the Broad Left Exec failed to get its motion passed, on subscriptions, which sought to make FEs pay a larger percentage of their income than large colleges in subscription to NUS. (2) Tuition Fees.—The level of disagreement was such that all motions and amendments were rejected. "We are in a no-policy.situation (Sue Slipman). (3) Racism. NUS has rejected "No platform for racists and fascists in favour of "argument". (4) Priorities—NUS has adopted a system of prioritisation in its finances which includes shelving the following areas of its work, civil liberties, "freezing" of vacant posts in the NUS staff, Ents, a review of minority conferences (e.g. women's), and some areas of welfare. platform NO MC/srs Ww (5) Suspension of Unions.—NUS Conferences now have the power to suspend Unions which discriminate against student groups on the grounds of "Religion, Race, or Creed", in response to the decision of some students' unions to ban Jewish Societies, attempts to give this power to the NUS Exec were defeated. (6) Women.—The struggle of women has been accepted as being one against the class nature of society rather than merely men against women. (7) Grants and Cuts.—Reformist policies were adopted in favour of radical change, the eventual aim being to abolish means-tested grants. (8) Ultra vires payments.—Policies of fighting attempts to restrict the outside payments of Students Unions have been rejected in favour of accepting accountability to government (which means no support for those Unions which continue to affiliate to bodies such as NAC, CACTL etc). (9) West Germany.—NUS now has policy expressing its disgust at the oppression in FRG especially that which is currently being levelled at German Students' Union. (10) Firemen's Strike.—NUS is supporting the TUC as opposed to the rank-and-file workers. (11) Middle East—Policy recognises the rights of both Palestinian Arabs and Jews to the same land and recognises the PLO. Rejects the move by Sadat as it will produce no lasting solution, and believes that the Palestinians should be allowed to establish an independent state in the West Bank and Gaza. OUR DELEGATION Well, as I said before, our delegation was bound to have deep divisions. On almost every motion the split left two factions, the right, Kay Forrester (FCS), Julian Ingram (Liberal), Harris Raphael (who despite standing as an independent wore FCS stickers throughout), Jean Kennedy (Broad Left and a slavish supporter of the NUS executive); and the left. Roger Galloway (SWP/IS), .Dave Fig (SAA) and myself,. Carol Saunders (Anarchist). PICKETS CfkhPMQf ih&e-s' ' J'"a ' iA/NSr So what happens? On the question of "No platform for racists and fascists", the left are in favour of continuing this policy and the right has to vote this way reluctantly as we have union policy on the subject. Heated defence of small colleges over lunch fails to sway the Right which votes for making FE's pay a larger percentage of their income in Subscriptions. Union Policy on Tuition fees holds supreme, but we have to abstain on the main motion because it calls for "direct action" as the only solution. Our delegation votes for prioritisation of the NUS budget, but with Dave abstaining as he is against all forms of cuts, me abstaining because I never could understand economics, and Roger indignantly telling everyone that the way the delegation is voting spells the end of NUS ("make sure you get that down Carol"). On the question of suspension of Unions for discrimination against groups of students we are split but all agree that the Executive should not have the power of suspension. A massive row develops over the question of women. Kay and Jean both seem to think that Women's Conferences cannot function without men (even though, or perhaps because, the male who refused to leave the last Women's Conference was an avowed sexist who once wrote an article in his college paper about why rape was a good thing), and of course Julian and Harris are men anyway. Nevertheless Dave, Roger and J are outvoted as usual. There is little argument over West Germany, and we are bound by Union policy over the Middle East (discontented mutters from Roger), the Firemen's strike, and Grants and Cuts. Now comes the real fun! Turning to Ultra Vires payments the argument is so fierce that I am expecting a punch-up. Julian interprets union policy to mean that we are against making ultra vires payments. Dave. Roger and I believe this is ridiculous as we are already making such payments because we are affiliated to so many outside bodies. Although we have agreed that We will stick by delegation decisions except where Union policy is clear, Roger, who of the three of us is the only one with the right to vote refuses to accept that the delegation has correctly interpreted union policy. On the first vote he deliberately votes against the delegation. When the .vote is counted in our favour by five votes, Roger gets up and dashes across the hall, with Julian in hot pursuit. What follows is like a scene from the Keystone Cops. We, (and all the delegations around us) watch as the two of them dash DRAWINGS 3T DAVE FIG. around the hall and then disappear into the Gents . . . are either or both of them going to come out of this alive? In the resulting chaos, no-one notices that I am voting with Roger with a card borrowed from another delegation—AH .to llf)- avail, a recount., later reverses the- decision anyway. NEMOJUE c • Kay wearing so many stickers as to be indistinguishable from a Christmas tree • Harris telling us very seriously how in terms of getting to heaven it is more important to be Jewish than to believe in God. • Roger refusing to accept that a red shirt does not go with a green jumper on the grounds that he looks "sexy". • Andy Strouthous donning a pair of glasses neatly covered with FCS stickers when a Tory motion is passed- • Badges with pictures of Sue Slipman on them bearing the words, "I'm a Tory too'. • LSE's question on paragraph 468 of the Executive report which turns out to have nothing to do with the section mentioned (altogether now, PAR-A-GRAPH 4-6-8, WHO-DO-WE-APP-RE-CI-ATE!) • Julian disappearing during the debate on Women. • Roger going to play pinball during the Finance Report. • The pantomime horse who stands for the finance committee as a member of the "Epicurean Mystical Hedonists" (spot the anarchist!) • Sue Slipman worming her way out of answering why she broke the picket line of striking NUS staff and attacked a picket. • The Broad Left poster which included a picture of LSE's Occupation—with three SWP members, one Broad Left and two don't-knows— < just before the Broad Left withdrew its support, of course). • The lack of response when it is discovered that the NF is distributing leaflets around the hall. • The use of the word "right" (which always seemed to have double connotations . . . ) • Margot James (with the FCS observers) approaching Kay during a session closed to all outsiders, asking to borrow her card to allow a Tory spokesman to illicitly enter the hall. • The donation of a golden ice-pick to the Executive by Leeds to "deal with unruly Trots" ("scandalous", Roger). • The symbolic rise of posters asking "What about overseas students?" as the delegates left the hall for the last time. "Scabs" (Dave), "Disgusting" (Roger), "Farcically funny (me). "A very good conference" (Kay, Jean. Julian, and Harris). CAROL SAUNDERS YOUR PICTURE HERE! (AND EVERYWHERE ELSE) be kidding! ME? A ORE REVOLUTIONARY LEADER! must JUST IMAGINE BEING A RESPECTED AND BELOVED FATHERLY LEADER UNDER WHOSE GUIDANCE THE RE-VOLUNTIOKARY MASSES WILL FORGE AHEAD DAILY WITH THE FIERY ZEAL OF A "SPEED-UP" CAMPAIGN ! OVER the past few years, Beaver Party Builders' Associates has aided countless individuals and groups to form vanguard parties tailored to their needs. These people are now leading creative, happy lives fighting one another. What we've done for others we can do for you. Just spend a few minutes filling in the questionaire. Your answers will enable us, with strict confidentiality, to work out a Party programme that is just right FOR YOU and your friends. Our fee for this service is so minimal that you would laugh at us if we were to print it in th is ad. Just send the most ridiculously small amount you can think of and we'll send your change with your new platform. We advise using a pencil when filling in the questionaire, as they are by no means easy questions, and your Party will not be able to alter the positions taken here without seriously damaging your credibility among the workers. (1) THE RUSSIAN REVOLUTION (c) A super-exploited sector of the TURNED AWAY FROM working class SOCIALISM IN : (d) Petty bourgeois (a) 1917 (e) A colony (b) 1 °°7 ^ Please send me more informa- tion about this controversial (c) 19bo group (d) 1957 (e) It hasn't yet but my Party will (3) THE MAIN DANGER FACfNG be the first to denounce it when THE WORKERS' VANGUARD it does IN THE PRESENT EPOCH IS (f) Other (please specify). Right opportunism (b) Left sectarianism (2) BLACK PEOPLE ARE (c) Right opportunism masquerading as left sectarianism (a) A nation (j) p^y parents (b) A nation of a new type (e) Other (please specify) You (4) RATHER THAN FOCUSING ONLY ON NARROW ECONOMIC ISSUES, MY PARTY WILL ALSO OFFER A CULTURAL CRITIQUE OF LIFE IN ADVANCED CAPITALIST CIVILISATION. THE FOLLOWING ARE SYMPTOMS OF CAPITALIST DECADENCE : (a) Homosexuality (b) Trotskyism (c) Pornographic Movies (d) Recent price increases in pornographifc movies (e) Reading Beaver (5) I WOULD LIKE TO INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING IN THE TITLE OF MY PARTY : (a) Labour (b) Workers (c) Revolutionary (d) Socialist (e) Communist (f) Vanguard (g) Progressive (h) October (November/July) (i) Progressive (j) United (k) International (I)" M ... (m)L OUR THANKS TO THE CIENFUEGOS PRESS REVIEW (f) Other (please specify). m PAGE 6 CHILE ©N January 4th Chileans went to vote in the plebiscite called fey the country's dictator, General Augusto Pinochet. The vote was ostensibly called in anger at repeated UN resolutions condemning the overt repression and violation of human rights in Chile. Chileans were required to answer yes or no to the following statement: "Facing the international aggression launched against our country's government. I grant my support to President Pinochet in his defence of the dignity of Chile and t reaffirm the legitimacy of the Government •f the Republic to sovereignly lead the process of institutional-isation which the country is undergoing". In announcing the referendum Pinochet precipitated the first major public split in the four man military junta that has ruled Chile since 1973. Both the Air Force commander and the Navy Commander, as junta members, wrote te Pinochet stressing their opposition te the plebiscite! Doubtless because of these disagreements the referendum decree was signed only by Pinochet himself. Chile's vestigial "constitutional watchdog"' the Comptroller General, a man who was forever questioning the legality ©1" Allende's laws, declared the decree illegal because it lacked the signatures of the ©ther junta members. Having thus affronted Pinochet the Comptroller was promptly replaced by a man more amenable to the General's wishes, who declared the decree legal. Although the referendum allowed the outlawed opposition only two weeks in which to organise itself, this period probably saw more political ferment than any time since 1973. The plebiscite was denounced by the socialist parties, the Christian Democrats and the Catholic church. In Santiago students and workers marched through the streets shouting anti junta slogans, and three were wounded and eight arrested in clashes with police. Previously ten people were arrested for attempting to pass out opposition leaflets. On the day of the poll itself a bomb exploded outside the offices of IBM in downtown Santiago. The "results" claimed by Pinochet were predictable : §8% turnout, 75% "Yes" votes, 20% "No" votes and 5% "spoilt or blank". Given the circumstances of the poll the results are meaningless; the opposition was forbidden to campaign ; there were no electoral rolls (the Junta destroyed these in 1673) ; the country was saturated with "Patriotic" propaganda and the statement and form of the ballot were designed to make a No vote appear unpatriotic (the ballot paper had a Chilean flag by the "Yes" space and a grey square by the "No"). There was no supervision of the count. In a letter to Pinochet, recently published, Admiral Merino (the Navy commander) wrote of "the instruction given to the ballot counters that blank , or damaged votes be counted as favourable votes'. The voting wag compulsory and was by identity cards, which were marked upon voting, thus making it easy to identify abstainers in future. It is likely therefore, that many Chileans turned up to vote and showed their disgust Orphans' party THE Orphans Christmas Party field at the end of last term was a great success for the children, orphanage staff and those who helped. There were only fifteen children which was less than we expected. But because of the excellent collection and the discount arranged with the toyshop, it did mean that Santa Claus was able to give far better presents than would otherwise- have been the case. Thanks to all who gave money and our especial gratitude to those who helped with the collection and at the party. We have received a letter of thanks from the principal of the Nursery Training College and the breakdown of costs is available from Tom's office to anyone interested. NORMA BELL DON WESOLOWSKI GRAHAM WILDRIDGE with the junta by handing in blank or damaged ballots which were then counted as "Yes" votes, with 5% being declared as null. Whatever the meaning of the results they have not increased the Junta's standing internationally. The US State Department, which through its "Human Rights" verbiage probably played a part in convincing Pinochet that the plebiscite was advisable, has condemned the vote as rigged, thus depriving him of the approval of his most valuable allies. Yet Pinochet, seemingly satisfied with his dainty stab at democratic pretence, chose the occasion to announce that there would be no more voting in Chile for another 10 years. The Chilean people cannot " wait 10 years for another chink in the armour of the Junta's despotic rule to appear. On the day of the poll the biannual review of Human Rights of the International Commission of Jurists stated that repression was continuing in Chile. Confident of his authority and personally strengthened by his exercise in self agrandisement, Pinochet will no doubt embark on a fresh wave of repression, eliminating pockets of resistance that the plebiscite may have brought to light. There is no doubt, however, that the plebiscite represents an important juncture in the struggle for the restoration of democracy in Chile. MICHAEL LEVITSKY FIRE! IT is indeed a sad day for the people of this island when they are forced to witness the spectacfe of a strike by the firemen. Not only do they see loyal and dedicated servants of the people seduced to the humiliation of withdrawing their labour, eroding the prestige and pride of being a professional fireman, but the spectacle of the armed forces of the Crown performing the strikers' task with worse equipment, poorer conditions, less pay, and, save mutiny, no choice. Should a government allowing this situation endure ? Surely not. Yet there is no hope for the working man when ranged against that coalition of elites that was initially formed to protect him, namely the Labour Party and the T.U.C. Nevertheless, it is a self-evident truth that the proletariat will triumph and I am pleased to announce that I am able to reveal exclusively from a source emanating from Cottons Gardens that the entire nation has been beguiled by the Government - T.U.C. Complex. Of course, to those in the Wafien S.S. (L.S.E. Division) manipulation of the press is nothing new yet my source says that many people are unaware that they are daily lied to. The Government Shave sunk to greater depths to conceal the truth from the public. Cottons Gardens says that there have been fires raging through our major cities which have wrought untold havoc. These have been skilfully concealed by the use of holographs. ''Holographs were discovered in 1948 but have been generally known about since the S.W.P. broke the story on "Tomorrow's World'') to project images of what in reality has been destroyed. Saint Paul's is merely a creation of laser beams. (Notice it is now closed to the public !). Speculation is rife that the slow progress in resolving the firemen's strike is because the Home Secretary is merely a holograph. As the conspiracy mounts one is reduced to saying that it could reach Watergate proportions. Indeed can we be sure that anything is solid, dependable, reliable any more with so many false images in our midst. BRUCE FELL. I immm i» Gahba, Gabba HEY! SO thete was I imbibing this revo't ng liquid slime the thargs at Florrles laughingly describe as tea when Guy Fawkes or whatever Irs name is, wakes me from my musing slumbers and tells me It's time to wr'te an article for Beaver again. Better make it funny," he qu:ps and departs w;th a snide leer on his po_e ridden physiognomy. (I don't really mean that, I just feel vaguely insulting at this moment of time). Did you have an intensely dull Christmas ? Well children, I did. I'm fed up with this turgid, facially hirsute man who dresses up in puce gear and gives me enough gallons of aftershave to fill three Welsh reservoirs. I have a good mind—my Tutor would describe that as a moot point—to petition nice Mr Callaghan to appoint Denis Howell as Minister for aftershave. No. this has definitely been the worst Christmas since records began. Well then, here goes. I have, to produce a certain number of words in a certain cogently structured manner on the mildly interesting but hardly sexually stimulating subject of the history of Trade Unionism in Great (laugh, laugh) Britain and America from 1850 to 1919. (By the way it is an amusing wheeze to ask passing gringoes what they think of our two dollar pound). I have to perforin said act in three days. It is known as "work", and although my Harley Street consultant advises me that I am allergic to this phenomenon, my class teacher still expects me to give it in on time. But what's the point of sicking up what Henry Pelling has written in his "racy and mughty" — Coventry Evening Telegraph — and "stunningly rude — Daily Telegraph — boo'; ' Surely if I presented my class teacher with H. Pelling's worthy tome, bought at the price of two and a half pints, he will learn far more about this fascinating subject than by reading an inept and largely illiterate paraphrase by yours truly. What I do find somewhat odd is that the dear man wants to discover my views on the subject at all. He has a doctorate, from a provincial University I fear, but a doctorate nevertheless : does he really want a second opinion from a spotty little schoolboy? Perhaps he can't afford the 80p for Pelling's racy yarn. Ah ha ' I hadn't thought of that. Poor thing, I shall write to the Queen at once and tell her to give our impecunious University teachers their much needed pay rise. In the meantime. I suggest that they should mug Arabs. JOHN SWEENEY LSE immen LSE Women are on the go again! We are organising a "Women at Work" Week on February 13th to February 17th. We give you here our first rough plan : Monday, 13th : 1.00 General discussion about women at work. 8.00 Clapperclawr. They act and play music and they are very, very funny ! Tuesday, 14th : 1.00 Woman MP speaker, most probably Maureen Colquhoun (a Lesbian Labour MP sacked recently. We wonder why). 7.00 "Black Emmanuel" is shown in the Old Theatre ! What shall we do about it ? Wednesday, 15th : 1.00 "Union Maids" Comedy. 2.00: Workshop on women and unionisation. Thursday, 16th: 1.00 Strippers and / or prostitutes talking about their work, lives. Friday, 17th : 1.00 Women at home ? Unpaid slave labour ? Housewives speaking about their (unpaid) work and lives ? 3.00 Disco ? This is only a very rough guide. We hope to get a full programme out soon. Look out for posters and details, also Beaver's next issue. OPERA PROSPER Merimee was fascinated by strong-willed, powerful and barberous women. Colomba, for example, is the central character in his Corsican story of the same title, but Carmen has become most famous, transformed into an opera by the music of Bizet and the libretto of Meilhac and Halevy. In the process, changes occurred. In the opera, Carmen is not married, and Don Jose is a much more sympathetic and mellow character than Merimee's brutal criminal. Carmen's role is one of a catalyst. A catalyst is something which brings about a reaction yet itself remains unchanged. Though she ends up dead at the hands of the lover she seduced, then rejected, having been the controlling force all the way through, the agent causing the drama to proceed, in one vital respect, at her death, she remains the same : free. Her will to be free is declared several times during the opera, most famously in the "Habenera," when she sings L'amour est comme enfant de Balrieme, qui n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi and at the end where she gives Jose the choice of letting her go or killing her : free she has lived, and free she shall die. The music is some of the most powerful and emotive ever written, Nietzche wrote in 1888 : "I think this music is quite perfect. It flows easily and smoothly. It is charming and unforced ; it is at once both diabolical and refined—but not with a refinement associated with any specific individual or race. It is rich. It is precise." The music tells the story as much as the characters : sinister notes are never far away foretelling the ending in death. Carmen does work out well in English and the English National Opera production at the London Coliseum is a good one. It is to be revived on January 25th with Katherine Pring in the title role, David Lloyd Jones conducting. JONATHAN RICHMOND. CLASSIFIED ADS + Meeting of the Statistics Department Staff-Student Committee on Tuesday 24 January at 1 pmjn Room S221. * CiNE SOC Are you interested in creative, collective film-making ? Oh well, I mean do you feel like giving it a try ? Sounds all right ? Then come along on Thursday 19th at 1 pm in the TV room and we will see what happens (or does not happen). With Cine love, A cine fan. HADIO ROT WHAT {Jo you think of the output of Radio 1 ? All right, 1 can guess the Answer, which is probably couched in language not suitable for a family newspaper like Beaver. And what do you think of the daytime output of ®apita! Radio ? Apart from notable exceptions like Kenny Everett it seems to this writer that the answer will be rather similar, if in more polite and restrained language. For, let's face it, the majority of todays "singles" are dull, tuneless, unimaginative, and increasingly difficult to tell from pach other. But "albums" are a different matter. The only trouble is that very few album tracks are played on da5'time radio in Britain. Why ? Because, Radio 1 and to a lesser extent "official" commercial radio tells us they are not "popular" (as doubtless they are not for the under-lOs) though precious little evidence is produced to support this. Yet that wicked "unlawful" station, Radio Caroline on 319 metres. niillllilliilllllliliilliiiiiiiiililiiiliiiiiiiiillilllliiiiiiiiiimj §THINGS bode ill for the Stu-i |dents' Union finances next! |year. Hot favourite for the! |post of Senior Treasurer, onel eeJohn McCoW, i.a» apparently!-^sent his grant cheque BACK= I to his Local Authority—= ^something to do with his not| iknowing the difference be-! | tween a 'drawer' and a| 'payee', I'm told. ^lllllllllllllllHIIHIIIIIIIIlliinimiHIIHilllllllllHIIIIIIIIIK BLAST FROM THE PAST THIS advert was first printed in the BEAVER in 1974, when it caused quite a stir. One Richard Ingram, a student and ex-President of Consoc, found it so "utterly beneath contempt" that he referred it to the Director of Public Prosecutions. There was a nasty article in the Torygrajih and MPs were said to be furious . . . Those were the days . . . which plays album tracks only, has the biggest evening audi-ehce in Europe—and if it could operate during the daytime too would doubtless (as it did until about a year ago) have a very large share of the daytime audience. The Government will shortly be publishing a White Paper on broadcasting. Of one thing we can be sure : it will not give radio the kind of freedom that it has in America where each city has several stations broadcasting a huge variety of music. Oh no : the British public must not get the music it wants to listen to; the good old Beeb and the vast monopolies that the IBA cares to give its blessing to, will decide for us, on our behalf. • So a tiny handful of people decides what the majority hears ? But I suppose that in good old "democratic" Britain that's all we can expect. JAMES GAUSSEM. The long term benefits of a Short Service Commission. ¦ - , .. v« ' ¦ — 4&S&& Sn fch« long l»*«> « Mint** »yt, m>r« all tload. *• an Officii'i you *111 how* to chmnco of btcdwing •do** ft Provided you'ro not too &akgtnotiva (and you don't to b* iMglnaUvfl to toocooo on tyfefey Of rtc«r"» look »t X*tk Phillip*) fchlt oboultfn't oorry yoo oil. Tho Cfll hot o •pooiol •cfrofto Tor «*iployJ.n9 officoeo# tor# tht unlikoly oVont of o ooup 4'otot* you could fiwt youtoolf running oholo But don't wyfi ri*»t ©ff, you em fclafto ony *lot*fc*» imi «ft oil »oko «iot*fc#oc aooM at fcho biotory of u«fc Tuunr tMH Sort Ortd StcMKNilV* thosr* afiV5 nosoy 0(19*45; trying ta c»u»» / •W fH«», «o*il p»y you a laft af mm*?, y Wil% bottor than living toft* SS* * (»l ttat'i Atk* p»opi» «n SSJJ1 S» if yoii'n unlit ts, Mtfc fc» •»» tin weld (flottmtf), Join tfei * short S»rviei CoaalMitrttf orricM. AMr»» y«u* i»U« t» Mjw J,R, Ptfttotwt, ht*y OfTUn Emtsy, £.Me tomtom* Bufctit? f Swsttajp, UX m. THE NIGHTMARE OF NOISE How loud the television show On ail the other floors below. How loud the earthquake all around Of heavy traffic on the ground. How loud the ice-cream jingles chime For such a long, discordant time. How motor-cycles boost the pride Of noisy little men wtro ride. How loud the thunder in the sky Of ceaseless aircraft passing by. How therapeutic silence seems Permitting thought, and sleep, and dreams. © N. Racine-Jaques, 1977 PAGE 7 GAUSSEN GAITERS NUS GRISIS DRAMA BID ONE of Britain's most loved and cherished "ancient monuments'', the National Union of Students, is facing what its President, Ms Sue Sliperson has cogently described as a "potential structured dimensional ongoing negative cash-flow syndrome situation" (or, in English, bankruptcy), and is appealing to "all of those who care for our national heritage" to help. Speaking to a hastily-summoned Press Conference a visibly emotional Ms Sliperson said that NUS was an integral part of the British Way of Life, like Flora margarine, and that its collapse "would be a disaster that would make Dunkirk look like a storm in a teacup at a vicarage tea-party". In a thinly-veiled but un-mistakeable reference to the campaign to get LSE out of NUS. Sliperson lashed out at "irresponsible, subversive agitators, anarchists, shady right-wingers and Reds" who she alleged were "bent on destroying and undermining my chances of becoming a Labour MP—er, I mean, sorry, . . . destroying the very fabric of NUS as we know it" etc etc. "It may be true that NUS is not perfect" Sliperson:went on passionately — "though it is nearer to perfection than anything else on God's earth. True, NUS no longer provides any travel services, its "discount scheme" is a rip-off and its so-called insurance policy is licenced banditry. But"—and hera-her sincerity shone like the beads of sweat on her face— "NUS has long since abandoned the misguided and bourgeois policy of providing decent services for its members. For it has a spiritual value which is hard to explain in words." "Just imagine student life without NUS. You could say goodbye to those jolly £100,094 jamborees humorously termed as 'Conferences'; there would be no more exciting 'NUS Bans Anti-Fascists Shock' headlines ; and no more enthralling elections of unscrupulous nonentities to bureaucratic posts of a facile, useless and irredeemably tedious nature. "Can you imagine how dull, grey and lifeless a student's life would become ? What replacement could there be for the' social life that NUS provides ?" As this point Sliperson was sa choked by her own eloquency that she had to be carried bodily from the platform, as the masses in the audience solemnly howled their approval. Here are the answers to this Christmas Quiz. The questions will appear in the next issue. (1) Roger Galloway. Nine inches. (2) David Lowry, All the others ars well-known. (3) Ralf Dahrendorf. None, of the others would be able t« get away with it. (4) It was an anagram: Julian Ingram and Martin Peacock. (5) (C) because all the others ara ultra vires. (6) This was a teaser! Bet you all thought it was Kurt Klappholz, but you made the mistake of thinking because he fell ini» category (iv) he would automatically need a brain-operation. In fact it was Kedourit. JAMES GAUSSEN PAGE 8 ATHLETIC UNION His Masters Voice Or the everyday story of AU Folk AS we enter 1978, there is a general feeling in E65 that the Athletic Union is healthier than ever, and certainly that it is more healthy than the new growth on your President's top lip! "Growth" seems to have been a popular occupation during the vacation and several familiar figures have -filled out more than somewhat, though far be it from me to name them! On a more serious note, I should like to mention one of the people in the background of the AU, Mike Brecknell. Mike is the senior treasurer and a former student of the LSE from 19-something-or-other! By the time this goes to print, the committee will have presented him with a pewter tankard on your behalf, and on behalf of all the members of the AU over the last 21 years, to thank Mike for his services throughout that period. It is people like Mike, who very few of you ever even hear about let alone meet, who have built up the Athletic Union and help make the job of your present committee that little bit easier. I should also like to give special mention to the 2nd Squash V who in their first year of entering the competition have fought their way through to a UAU quarter final battle with Bristol. On the way they beat Surrey, Sussex and City universities. Good luck to them in this game. The Basketball team, as expected, won through in the regional playoffs at Guildford last term and we wish them luck in the finals at Essex next month. Finally, I wish to apologise to all those of you who didn't get your Christmas present from the President. The day before he was due to go out on the Presidential shopping spree he sprained his ankle and, as a result, spent Christmas well and truly plastered, which will surprise none of you who know him! However. I am glad to report that he has now fully recovered and hopes to be able to make it up to you all for St Valentine's Day. "THE DON" 'SPORTS PERSON'S DRINKING GUIDE' WELCOME back after the vacation festivities! This week I am writing to you by myself since Victor—who is in no way related to a giraffe—is indisposed after a series of unpleasant mishaps involving large amounts of "Brains SP", several Natraj curries and the final exhaustion of his iron constitution! So it has fallen to me to write an emergency column whieh, I am afraid, will be a bit of an assortment. But still, here goes. Firstly I should like to give special mention to a pub I only discovered recently. This is the "Churchill" on Kensington Church Street just round the corner from Notting Hill Gate tube. This is an excellent little Fullers house with a fine range of wines for the ladies who prefer not to drink "ESB"—or even for the chaps amongst you. This establishment is well worth a visit, especially for those of you with a keen interest-in American presidents (NB this is not a deliberate error; go yourself to unravel the reference). Whilst on the subject of Kensington borough I must also mention the excellent Britannia on Earl's Court Road (Kensington High Street tube), a fine little "Young's" pub with a very cosmopolitan clientele and also well worth a slight diversion. Talking of "Young and Co'', one omission to our list of worthy alehouses has been the Windmill on Clapham Common. This really is an excellent pub conveniently situated above the Northern line. But it is very, very bus, being most definitely a place to be seen. By way of a change this week, I should also like to draw your attention to the innumerable and all too baffling publications on beer and pubs. "Beer and Skittles" (Fontana 85p) is written by Richard Boston, who almost certainly has rightful claims as the father of the beer column. I would firmly recommend this publication as one of the most interesting comprehensive and informative books of its ilk. And no—I am not on to a percentage of the royalties. lOh really.—Ed.l Lastly, I would like to mention an establishment a little closer to the home front—the Brahms and Liszt (culture, culture-opera critic) in Covent Garden (handy for the opera house). I suggest you visit this wine lodge before it becomes just too, too trendy and expensive (can't be as expensive as the Crush Bar) and would also advise you to partake of a meal there. Their range of wine is truly excellent and well priced for the student pocket and if you get tired of wine it is only a two-minute stagger to the Marquis of Anglesey." May the draught be with you. ARTHUR RAMROD Woperson's sport round-up AS in the A.U. generally, women's membership was higher than in previous years—an encouraging sign. Various new clubs have been formed with women taking part, such as the yoga club, and we also have a new club for women's foot ball, meeting on Mondays from 1-2 in the gym. These girls will be representing U.L. in the WIVAB 5-a-side tournament later this term The netball club has again been showing good form with five wins and two defeats in the inter-collegiate league—let's see if they can repeat last year's result by finishing top of the league. Unfortunately they were runners-up in the college knock-out and so were unable to represent U.L. in the WIVAB tournament. Although we could only' raise about nine women to play hockey, some girls have been playing in the mixed h'ockey team which has so far played only two matches drawing one and losing the other —but it's all good fun! Hopefully, we will be putting a team forward to represent U.L. in the indoor-hockey WIVAB tournament. If anyone is interested in playing, please contact Jill Arnold via the A.U. The table tennis won the colleges knock-out, but were unable to get the team together again in order to compete in the WIVAB tournament. Any girl interested in playing table-tennis? — they meet on Wednesday afternoons in the gym. The women's badminton team has not been too successful in the inter-collegiate league so far, but they were runners-up in the colleges knock-out and consequently the first couple was selected to play for U.L. in the WIVAB tournament. A women's squash club has been formed, meeting Wednesdays at 2 pm. So far there have been no college matches. Some women run in the men's races (and don't come last). Three LSE runners are active members of the U.L. team which came second in the Casterley Park relay between all British colleges, universities and polytechnics. Hopefully, we will have an active tennis team this year—anyone interested should meet in the Concourse area on Wednesday, 18th January at 1 pm, or contact Leslie Bechtel via the A.U. as summer fixtures have now been arranged. Generally, women's sport seems to be looking up with many women being members of non-competitive clubs, such as karate and horse-riding. Let's hope this will continue this term and in future years. ? Any captains who have outstanding individuals in their clubs can nominate them for the trials for the WIVAB representative team. Hockey hackery WANTED : HOCKEY UMPIRES (Alive!) WOULD any umpires or would-be umpires please contact Andy Tebb, through the Hockey pigeon-hole outside the Athletic Union Office (E65) as soon as possible. Tuition can be provided, and there are fees for games by mutual arrangement. Spend Wednesday afternoons in exotic parklands, get some exercise and feel a sense of real power. ? ? if On the playing side itself the 1st XI has suffered its first defeats, against Surrey and Kent, but the relentless march to the league title continues with two further wins against Chelsea and St Mary's (by default). The 2nd XI, trying hard to live up to the- reputation of the lsts, have suffered from an unsettled side/lack of games and we are bravely suffering a few more defeats. It is the Mixed XI where greatest progress -has been made, with a draw against School of Pharmacy. This very friendly game was played in the wilds of Turkey Street, after an adventure on the railway, and few that day will forget the indelible mark left on the fingers from standing on Lower Edmonton Station. In the end, the game started at 3.30 pm (only an hour late) and being excellently umpired (while playing) the first "half" lasted 30 minutes and the second, 15 minutes, due to worsening light. However the day was eventually enjoyed by all and special thank you must be made to "Stan" Walters for making his debut at very short notice. ANDY TEBB (Hon. Sec.) SQUASH & TENNIS THE LSE 1st team has performed very well in the London University Squash League, and at the half way stage is in 2nd place in Division 1. The second team has however struggled in Division III. The UA championships were something of a disaster for the UAU 1st team but this was more than made up for by the excellent performances of the UAU II team. This team was the only LSE team in any sport to get through the qualifying groups. Just before Christmas they turned in an excellent performance to beat City University II 4-1. The team now travel to Bristol to play the quarter finals. This performance is even more remarkable because this is the first time that we have entered a UAU 2nd team. On a disappointing note, the Squash ladder has been a bit of a disaster, and so there will be a meeting on THURSDAY, 19th JANUARY at 1 pm in the TV ROOM for everyone of all standards interested in the Ladder. The Tennis Club has succeeded in securing four clay courts at a sports ground adjoining ours at New Maiden. Everyone interested in playing for either the Men's or Women's teams should meet in the Concourse Area at 1 on Wednesday 18th. IAN DRANE LOST AND FOUND COLUMN WANTED A GLIDING CLUB • The answer to this problem is to speak to a character called Russell Grey, a 20th century version of the "chambre in-trouvable", or in that Orson Wellesian phrase "come out, come out wherever you are". All those interested pester the A.U. and come to find me for mass action. Guy Elliott SHETLANDS NEW YEAR SALE Florries Extension 1st Floor, St Clements Building TUESDAY, f7th JANUARY ..........j Printed by Ripley Printers Ltd., Ripley, Derby, Published by London School of Economics and Political Science, Students' Union, St. Clement's Buildings, Claremarket, London, WC2A 2AE.