Monday, January 24, 2000 Issue 512
First Published May 5, 1949 The Newspaper of the LSESU Executive Editor: Daniel Lewis E-mail; d.iewis@lse.ac.uk
Brand new phones, same old moans
Sib Hayer and Nishika Patel
Fears are escalating that Campus Link, the new telephone provider to LSE halls, are turning out to be as bad as their notorious predecessors Student Line.
Incompetent, disorganised, expensive: these are just some of the words to describe Student Line. It was very unpopular with the students and the company received many complaints. Those lucky enough to receive a reply were usually astounded by its complete lack of compassion. Voicemail did not function properly, bills were delivered late, double billing often occurred profusely, personal details were divulged to other parties and the list goes on. Thankfully, Student Line liquidated on 18th October 1999 and its assets were sold to Campus Link, which took over on 19th October 1999.
Hopes and expectations were high when Campus Link was introduced, believing it would
resolve the problems mentioned. It seems that for the first two months. Campus Link succeeded in satisfying its customers. But the 'honeymoon' period ended on 11th January 2000 when the telephone systems of Rosebery, Silver Walk and Butler's Wharf crashed - no external calls could be made. Was this a sign of the Millennium bug, or merely a return to the dark days of Student Line?
Students have complained of late bills, receiving other people's bills and being charged too much. Many LSE Students were angry about this when asked - one student was so 'vocal' about Campus Link's performance, he attracted a rather unhealthy attention on Houghton Street when questioned: "The phone system is
******* ******* **** II
complete
Anita Boyadjian, current resident of High Holborn, complains that Campus Link is not even Y2K compliant: "Instead of saying 2000 the voicemail thinks it's 1900!"
Sumit Saigal, outgoing president of High Holborn, said "I
NVOICE
CcJ'.VAf'lAS liny

"Hello?" "Hello Son! I'm so proud of you - you got an 'ology!"
am not even going to register with Campus Link as a protest." Saigal claims there is a much needed change in policy. Campus Link have announced that they are going to drop the previous £5
minimum charge rate. However, seeing as Student Line had already promised to do that (after much protest, especially from Jon Black and Becky Little), the lack of support for the new firm is
Pic; Mark Simpson
unsurprising.
On the 13th January Jo Swinson, President of Butler's Wharf went to Milton Keynes.....
Continued on page two
Trial of Houghton Street troublemaker is adjourned
Extreme politics turned nasty at Fresher's Fayre last year
Eve Parish
The trial of the man arrested outside the Freshers Fayre 1999 was due to start last week - but was later adjourned. Uzmar AM, not a student here, was appearing at Horseferry Road magistrates'court
last Monday for his part in the fracas at the beginning of last term, in which it is alleged a female police officer was assaulted.
On September 30th 1999, Ali had been part of an unauthorised stall in Houghton Street. He is alleged to have links with the
Pic: Archive
Islamic political organisation, Al-Muhajiroun, an extreme group who have claimed to be "The voice, the eyes and the ears of the Muslims", and actively work for the creation of an Islamic state. The stall, which displayed a sign bearing the word "Jihad", meaning holy war, and
anti-Semitic pamphlets caused complaints to be made to SU staff. Police were called, and in the attempt to remove the stall a scuffle broke out. Ali was then arrested and remanded on unconditional bail.
Monday's trial, set to last for the morning, was adjourned due to an application made by All's solicitor, Mr. Rudolf. He claimed that Mr. Ali could not be tried that day because their defence witness had not turned up. Furthermore, the existence of a video of the incident shot by the LSE, plus photographs featured in The Beaver had only been brought to his attention recently, and he asked for 14 days to get hold of them. Rudolf also revealed that a list of names and addresses from the Houghton Street stall had been lost, appearing neither in the police's inventory of objects from the scene, or when the papers from the stall were returned to Ali after his release. Since this list potentially contains important witnesses for All's defence, his solicitor again asked that he be
given time to recover it.
The prosecution argued that it was fair to proceed, since Mr. All's defence had had plenty of time since September 30th to get witnesses, photographs, video and papers. The witnesses for the prosecution numbered five police officers, and the LSE's house manager, Bernie Taffs, all of whom were present. Of the police witnesses, one female was the subject of the alleged assault.
The magistrate agreed that the defence had had "ample" time to get the video and photographs of the incident, and that they had enough evidence to hear the case, despite the mysterious disappearance of the list of witnesses. However, in granting the adjournment she gave the defence the time to get the video and photographs, because they may prove to be decisive evidence. The trial Is rescheduled to take place on the 6th March.
HALLS INTO THE FUTURE - P2
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News
TheBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000
2
INSIDE
FEATURES
Glenda Jackson's Girl Power; Lebanese New Year;
Terrorism rages on
SPORT
Can the firsts turn it around?
UNION
John Black on the Cubie report
CampusLink -on the blink?
MUSIC
Primal Instincts; Inhale -do they?
FILM
American Beauty
STYLE
Tola and Shailini glass Bart
THEATRE
LSESU Drama's The Representative
LITERARY
Pratchett on paperback
CLUBBING
Whats going up and down and round and round
Continued from page one
...to speak to Chief Executive, Gary O'Brien and Customer Services Manager, Andrea Faber to explain the inconvenience and anger this problem had produced. It seems that they were witnessing Student Line part 2.
Gary O'Brien and Andrea Faber said that external calls could not be made due to legal problems, not technical reasons. David Segal also says, "Campus Link were not themselves responsible for last weeks line failures - it was the provider". As a result the line was working by 15th January. Further, Campus Link said they were addressing the problems. "Three of the worst performing voicemail systems have been changed, so far without any problems", said Andrea Faber. She also said, "customer service and communication will be improved". Is there some light at the end of the tunnel or are these empty words?
Campus Link is compensating students for inconveniences created by the failure to provide services. There will be 20% discount for January's bills. Jo Swinson says this "is to be welcomed - that's something Student Line would never have done". However, Jo Swinson says "alternatives should certainly be looked at - Campus Link's prices, particularly for international calls.
............ .



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Oh Dear, I knew I shouldn't have
are horrific". As the London School of Economics we should realise that monopoly is bad and does not promote good customer service.
The message from many on Hall Committees is, students of the halls unite: 'Don't sign up!'. Saigal and others are also urging LSE not to sign a new contract with Campus Link. There are other options being considered instead:
spent so much on 0891 numbers.
students could have an AT&T line connected, and the exciting possibility of a deal with a mobile phone company to give each student a mobile (like nobody has one) is being mooted. Don't hold your breath though: it looks like this issue will not be resolved immediately.
Student telephone providers are notorious throughout the country, with problems reported at
Pic: IVIark Simpson
many universities. In an age of digital TV and global communications, this seems a farcical state of affairs.
For the moment, however, given Campus Link's tragic failure in their first few months, there is one question that remains to be asked: will Campus Link be any better than the Student Line fiasco?
Wired@Passfield.com
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Now you can check your e-mail even more! Joy!
ID
Work on the data point	:
t>, due to start on 17'" January • ^ aroiHid initiallv the work will be risers in the corridor areas and ibe basemen
Yoii will kept infonncd we shall endeavour to lei yiHi knov\ wbt., workmen will need to enter each Hat attU ultimately each room.
,;th thic crnnA news hriflgs adde^
Nishika Patel
The Internet has revolutionised the world, now LSE halls become part of this 'web fever'.
With the Internet connected already in High Holborn, Bankside, Carr Saunders and Great Dover Street halls, the campaign goes on to extend this technological innovation to all halls. The Student Union's campaign has been running for a year. Butler's Wharf
formulated a petition to send to the Inter-halls committee for consideration.
With support from the UGM, the Student Union has had great success. At the start of January the Secretary of LSE, Christine Challice said that finance for such a venture had been found. Subsequently, Carr Saunders gained Internet access last summer. Butler's Wharf and Rosebery will follow on 24th March
and Passfield this summer.
Head of IT Services, David Dalby expressed the huge achievement of the project, "I am extremely pleased that LSE will be one of the first Universities in the country to have all study bedrooms in its major Halls of Residence cabled for direct connection to the University network and Internet."
Students will reap numerous benefits; Jo Swinson, President of Butler's Wharf comments, "It's
Pic: Neha Unia
fantastic news - all students will benefit by less congested public computer rooms at LSE and in Halls. And students will save money on costly Internet charges as well as being able to access their H space and useful research tools from home". By next summer every student at halls will be able to access the Internet and partake in this worldwide phenomena.
-News
r/7eBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 3
Class sizes at LSE approach critical mass
Gareth Palmer
P
ositive news for all those students suffering in enormous classes. The working group of the Teaching Quality Assurance Committee has finished its report on the subject, and matters are proceeding well, according to ed and welfare sab Becky Little. She told the Beaver "It is a really difficult situation to deal with, but the School is genuinely trying to do something about it. The problem is that, given the constraints of resources and money, this will not be easy to solve."
The problem of overly large classes began to concern the School last year, with some classes way in excess of the maximum of 15 students. This was a particular problem for students on the larger economics and accounting courses. Accounting and Finance student Manik Saha said "I have had big classes over the years, and they really are not fun. With so many people involved, its hard to get any personal attention, which just means you have to waste time going to office hours, which teachers often donit turn up to."
Officially, there are now no classes with more than 15 students on the register, and the average class size has declined over the
I
You wouldn't find this at Oxford
last year, but the situation still needs attention. A number of plans have been put forward to try and improve matters, but many of these suggestions are controversial, both for students and academics.
Rejected outright have been plans to extend the school day, with classes being held both earlier in the morning or later at night. The likelihood of people turning up for an 8 o'clock class, either AM or PM, is seen as slim. Also down the pan go moves to introduce Saturday teaching, due to it being the Jewish Sabbath. The idea of a radical rethink of the whole structure of teaching, with more emphasis on seminars rather than the standard weekly lecture and
class pattern proved equally unpopular. Opposition to this came mainly from academics, who felt that any further reduction in contact time with students was unacceptable.
The main preoccupation of the School throughout has been to ensure that there is no decline in academic standards, and this presents a major problem. The obvious solution would be to increase the number of teachers working for the school, allowing more class groups to be run. The problem with this stems back to the perennial issue of money. Teachers only get paid £20 per class, and to recruit teachers of the same academic standard, the School is having to look further
The importance of what we stride on
Matthias W. Benzer
Students at LSE's Carr-Saunders Hall were fairly surprised when they found out that 'their' lively basement-bar - a snug 'British-style' pub - had changed its countenance over Christmas. The old carpet was replaced with new shiny wooden parquet making the formerly dark but romantic pub a lighter, more modern, but -according to some customers' opinion - a very controversial one. Furthermore the cosy sofas were taken away and so far it has been difficult to spot a corresponding substitute, where students can lourige on after a day of hard work.
fne Beaver spoke to Azzedine 'Dino' Fetnacci, Bursar of the W1-students' hall, who had taken the decision in agreement with the Warden and the Bar-Managers. According to him the old floor had to be replaced because it was too dirty. "Wood will not be as dirty and smelly as carpet, and day-to-day cleaning will be so much easier." Besides the fact that a new carpet floor would have been the same price and linoleum was out of the question because of its absolutely nasty look. Parquet has -
according to the Bursar - a longer lifetime, whereas a new carpet perhaps would have had to be changed after five years. Thus it can be seen as a long-term solution which is both, practical and economic.
When asked if he liked the floor, Alex Glascott, first-year student at 'Saunders' answered: "The bar has lost its atmosphere; it doesn't look like a traditional English pub anymore." Other students prefer new wooden parquet to the old carpet. Ian Nixon, second-year student and frequent visitor of the questioned institution mentioned that the floor was lovely but that it did not quite fit the surroundings. However, the actions taken showed - according to Nixon - "a willingness to progress" and were therefore legitimate. Students from both sides agreed on the fact that further innovations were necessary to complete what had beeri begun, which meant that first of all the tables and chairs from the canteen - that could only be accepted as a temporary solution - had to be replaced.
Mr. Fetnacci affirmed that there were plans to make the bar more
Pic: Neha Unia
afield. The cost of travel to London often far outweighs the pay teachers are getting, and this is a major deterrent. Yet, there is no more money available.
Ideas still in the pipeline include tighter controls on transfers between classes and making it harder to change courses late in the autumn term. However, even these are not seen as perfect, given the need to accommodate student choice.
Undoubtedly, this is a major issue and is being given serious thought by the School, a fact that is recognised by the Union. But, given the constraints of resources, it is not going to be easy to solve and this issue will continue to rumble on.
modern - step by step. The well missed benches that were taken out are still Carr-Saunders property and it will soon be decided whether they shall be refurbished or replaced. Says 'Dino'; "In the end it depends on the price because we've got a limited budget." Which leads us to the actual expenditure, almost £ 4.500, one of the reasons why further improvement is now no longer possible.
It was very difficult to get a significant number of opinions for this article, since only those students actually visiting the bar were asked. The first Saturday after Christmas there were no more than 12 people in the pub. Students who feel estranged from their social environment should think again and ask themselves if the ambience Is not strongly dependent on their own presence from time to time. The Bar-Managers, the social secretaries, let alone those people who work at Carr Saunders and develop ideas how to improve the social environment are doing a rather good job. Some students' extravagant tastes can surely not be met, but the beer tastes fantastic down there and the
Union Jack
people are extraordinarily friendly, so why do we not raise our glasses and focus on more important things than what we stride on?
I'll floor ya Pic: Mark Simpson
OK, I take It all back - the UGM is a force for justice and truth, and an example of democracy in action. This week it confirmed, after scenes reminiscent of the Battle of Agincourt, what Jack suspected all along, namely that people who live in Holborn or Butler's Wharf are rich, smelly greedy fuckers. La Swinson had the temerity to demand compensation because there is a building site next to Butlers. Surely it can't be making more noise than her. If the Council are working on the road outside your house, they don't give you fucking compensation. It's called living in society, in the real world. Fuck off to Goldman Sachs the lot of you.
Aside from the issue itself, the constitutional wrangling the close voting produced was enough to excite many hacks to the point of masturbation. Jon Black (Henry the Fifth) conducted himself with dignity, soundbites etc. Peter Bellini (Edmund the Bastard) cut an increasingly lonely and bitter figure, and had a suitably medieval haircut. Jo Swtnson (the Scots and thus, if you know yer history, technically the French) provided the love interest, whining etc. Oscar Kent (first murderer) and MC Blackwell (court jester) tightened the screws and after lots of alarums, exeunt chased by Fat Bob etc, the forces of light prevailed. Hurrah.
All the theatricals drew attention away from Jon Black's assault on insomnia,- i.e. the breeze-block that is the constitutional review. Jack couldn't be arsed to read all the stuff about drainage committees, so he now presents his own constitutional changes;
i)	Sabb reports will be based on a mixture of Just a Minute and Celebrity Death Match - if Alan repeats the words fair play or Jonathan hesitates when challenged on matters 0 and S, they will be forced to tag-team wrestle the great and the good. Vanessa Feltz is interested, as is Alan Titchmarch.
ii)	C and 8 to be replaced by a second-hand sofa, a squirrel and Michael Blackwell with and Abacus and a biro (tell me you'd notice).
ill) Delete Points 1.1. to 13,9 and replace with 'My name's Jon Black. I do everything, me. Yes, me. You will obey. You are feeling sleepy, sleepy. Repeat after me...l do not have the same hairdresser as Narius. I do not...'
iv)	Fat Bob and Dan Lewis to do the truffle shuffle if anyone speaks for more than two minutes.
v)	Everyone to have a whip-round to get Michael Blackwell a quid so he can use the Tube and not get out of breath walking from Euston to King's Cross.
Piece of piss, as Shakespeare would probably put it after a night in theTuns.
I
TfteBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 4
WORD UP
WITH IAN CURRY, NEWS EDITOR
Tent of Dreams or Dome Alone The Beaver looks at Blair's play pen
Nick Wogan Econ with Econ History
I think that it is a good idea that has gone wrong. It has been poorly executed. I can't see how what has been produced is worth £750m. Out of curiosity I would visit it, but I don't think I would make all the effort of a journey into London just to see it, if I lived outside. For Britain's sake I hope they will be able to turn it around.
Dan Lewis Economics
I think it was a hidious waste of money just to have a bunch of gormless tourists staring at a load of pointless crap. We could have built a subsidised EuroDisney, but at least I guess we have our politicians to act as the Mickey Mouse characters.
Mul<ul Devichand Law
Tony Blair and the Labour Government has got a lot to learn about big monuments. They should have built something pointless and stunning in the centre of London, an Eiffel Tower for the new Millennium. Instead they pussy footed around and made a big tent in Zone Two with a completely uninspiring children's science park inside. It is symbolic that Britain's golden age is finished.

So let me get this right, it's a big tent, and it costs £20 ...
The New Millenium Experience Company has hailed the opening of the Millenium Dome as a great success. Yet only days after their triumphal opening photographs of deserted attractions, and stories of dramatic and desperate ticketing u-turns emerged. The Beaver goes to the heart of the issue and asks whether the dome was a good idea, value for money and most importantly would you go? As a project it has gone beyond the normal scope of government buildings. Upon its success lies the reputation of the Labour Government that has championed it, the
huge companies that have sponsored it and perhaps most importantly the whole nation. As world eyes stare in almost disbelief at what could be a national monument or a British folly of epic proportions, we have to consider what impact its failure could have. A nation ridiculed abroad, a government pilloried at home and well over £750m down the tube. All in all, we had better believe the hype, and get on down to Greenwich. After all, we don't have to laugh with them, instead have a grand day out laughing afthem!
Neeiam V erjee
I think that it has been a waste of money, I mean what are they going to do with it after the year is out? I think the money used for the project would have been much better spent on more constructive projects. The money could have been directed for inner-city regeneration, which would have had an impact for generations, not just for one year. It seems to serve only the ego of the politicians.
Sarah Ell<s Social Policy
I think they should make it free, because its failing badly, and they have already spent so much money on it. To charge admission to then go on to recoup just a fraction the cost is just stupid. The fact that it is temporary means you cannot justify the expense on any level. At least if it was to have a purpose following the celebrations the money would have not been completely wasted.
an Curry History and Pontes
I think that the Dome was a chance to see Britain at its best. It could have seen the United Kingdom leading the world, a display of everything that is good in Britain today. However, it has somewhat failed to do this. Pilloried by the media, unsupported by the British people, the Dome has been turned into a failure.
I 1 think it is symptamatic of Britain today that something which we could have elevated to being a massive success we have instead done down to failure. It is almost as though the British peopledon't deserve anything to be proud of, anything to celebrate. They have become a nation of moaners, doom sayers and ingrates.
Jon Frewin SU Treasuer
If the SU had been able to spend £750m we would have had much more to show for it than a glorified Meccano set. Having said that I am sure it would be a great day out and I would have loved-it when I was a kid! I am sure that at some point this year I will make it. I would rather go on the London Eye. 1 reckon the Dome, at £16.50, is worth the price of an album of Y2K pop.
-News
I
TrteBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 5
LSE with Riz Khan
Ian Curry News Editor
The much trumpeted link up between the Cable News Network and the LSE was fully operational this week. Combinir\g state of the art technology, the lively discourse of LSE students and the global presence of one of the world's largest media networks. Broadcast
live on Q&A with Riz Khan on Tuesday and Friday, LSE's contribution will see it firmly established on the world scene.
CNN were reported as being delighted from the results of the broadcasts, and were asking for more contributions from LSE students. The contributions this week were made to world media mogul Ted Turner, well timed due

to the controversial merger between Time Warner and AOL. Ted Turner, as a leading player within the Time Warner empire, was well placed to comment on the events.
Friday's discussion centred on the role of medical technology and the future for medicine into the twenty first century.
Speaking on the successful launch of the LSE's latest media venture SU Treasurer Jon Frewin said "I am delighted that people have been taking up the amazing opportunity to take up a direct line to talk to some influential players on the world stage" He also added that any one interested in appearing on forthcoming CNN programmes could come and visit him in his office, E206 on Tuesday or Thursday 2pm.
Next week sees the LSE teaming up with CNN to pose questions to the Director General of the World Trade Organisation, Mike Moore.


LSE students can pose a question on CNN regardless of age, IQ and beauty...

And finally - Riz Khan
Picture: CNN
Picture : CNN
The bug that failed to bite
As the dust settles from our epic voyage into the new millennium questions have begun to emerge. Which city wasted the most money on fireworks? Which uninhabited Pacific Island first basked in the dawn's rays of a new century? But more importantly is the issue of who has wasted the most money in challenging the Millennium Bug.
The Bug became a favourite of doomsayers and apocalypse merchants. Society was due to collapse. Capitalist man would feel the wrath of its own creations. The world would be reduced to its Neolithic roots, and we would suffer the revenge of the
technogeek. Even though these extreme views were by and large laugfTed at, the scope for mischief was so great that the venerable BBC devoted a special set and presenter (Peter 'Swingometer' Snow) on its 26 hour broadcast a-go-go.
In the event Peter was left looking dejected, reporting that yet another advanced technical economy had managed to smash through into the new century. His malaise was repeated throughout the media, as the billions that had been spent were beginning to look 'misguided' in the least.
In the UK bugs of a very different nature raged across the
country, focusing on the Capital. This bug, although not electrical, had the equally devastating effect of necessitating British use of French hospitals. And the impact on the LSE? Students returning for the Lent term were confronted with ... rows upon rows of perfectly functioning PCs.
The technological impact had been largely limited to Campus Link, which interestingly reported that messages were from nineteen one hundred. Any other glitches or gremlins were more a result of usual technological incompetence at the LSE than the orchestrated malice of the Bug.
10

AS



Quick, they're taking over the world	Pic : Mark Simpson 'Oh God, not again!'
Pic: Mark Simpson




It's theory. It's practice. It's

¦¦	iwr^rV-
Consider an environment where your ideas and decisions help to shape the world. An exhilarating environment where intellectual curiosity creativity and achievement are recognised and rewarded.
Imagine a world-class business which offers challenging, absorbing roles that test your abilities and stretch your mind. An organisation where nationalities, cultures and languages mix freely-where entrepreneurial individuals follow a powerful team ethic to achieve their objectives.
Think about a culture where people understand and support your desire to be the best at what you do - where there's room for the unconventional as well as the proven approach.
Firmwide Summer Analyst Presentation
Date: Monday, 3i January 2000
Time: 6:30pm
Venue: Hong Kong Theatre
Representatives from all divisions will be available to discuss our summer internship programmes.
ioldman iachs

o
iEditorial
EdUorial
stupid Loan Company
This year, for some inexplicable reason, as I enter my third year, my student loan has shrunl<. My usually buoyant two and a half grand has been slashed by 40% to about £1,600. The logic in the mind of the'^chaps up north in the student loan offices is that since the student loan covers all year's expenditure, it can be reduced in the final year, expecting you to provide for yourself in the last summer.
This logic is of course complete bullshit. Students who need the loans - not just those who abuse the system and rush off to make a few hundred quid off the government in interest - worl< over their summers to payback as much of their other debts as they can, but this is never usually enough.
My costs this year aren't reduced simply because I'm a third year. Hall fees are still huge, beer is no cheaper and I've still got to eat, yet now I've got to survive on a grand less. What sense does that make?
Why make my last year even harder? What difference would it make to keep the loans at the same level throughout? They're going to get the money back in the end anyway. This is just another example of bureaucracy and absolute ineptitude on the half of the Student Loans Company.
Isn't it bad enough that they were unable to get people's money to them on time? What the hell is going on up there? I sure hope Becky Little gives them hell...
Holborn in Hot Water
The LSE has reached new heights of student whining. This week's UGM saw a crew from Hotel Holborn complaining about how they had to survive without hot water for a few days. I live in Holborn, and this matter needs redress. The water was out, in some parts of the Hall during peak times, which really meant that those scurrying off to the library couldn't have a shower at Sam every morning. However, if you could bear to have a lie-in till 10 or 11, then there was hot water aplenty.
Fact was that a few of Holborn's boilers decided to stop functioning, hence creating a bit of a strain on the last, emergency, boiler. But what would you suggest? Buy a fourth boiler at great expense on the very off chance that this happens again? You can't insure for everything. Sometime things just go wrong. Shit happens, get over it.
Next year some of the people whining will have to live out. See how you like waking up in a cold house and running out of hot water after the 2nd person has their shower. Do you reckon you'll get £70 from your landlord then? Answer on a postcard to : Is the Pope Jewish? Competition, The Beaver.
Daniel Lewis Executive Editor
LeOBS
The PutSE saga continues...
Dear Dan
1 am writing to clarify a couple of points following from last week's Beaver where you 'were upset we weren't pushing this further' and 'urged me to fight this licence refusal', '.after aft, what do they have to lose?' I would like to make it clear that in my opinion and that of the PuLSE committee, before we resigned ourselves to not broadcasting this academic year, we had done all that we could to try and secure a radio licence for February, and that further attempts could, in fact, have lost us any' opportunity of broadcast for some time.
In the case of LOR (Loughborough Campus Radio) and Oak FM, where Oak offered support to LCR to get a licence, their letter of endorsement stated that Oak had communicated with the Radio Authority previously and said that all parties were happy with this endorsement. Unfortunately for us, Choice FM felt it necessary (under pressure from the Radio Authority) to state several times that they could not influence the Authority in any way with licence applications. The Radio Authority mentioned this fact several times in their communications with us. It was not mentioned in The Beaver that 1 actually made an appeal to the Chief Executive of the Radio Authority, whose deputy responded explaining that our grounds for appeal were not satisfactory since Choice's broadcast postponement had only happened recently. They felt it would not be fair to several other groups
Investment Society
presents Bargain of the year
Saturdav Januarv 29th Hanover Grand Featuring DJs Jon Pleased Wimmin Ed Murray Admission £15/ Guest List £5, but only 75 available On Sale Houghton street Tuesday + Wednesday 10-2
who had enquired about the February licence and tseen turned away, if we had subsequently been awarded it.
We considered appealing further with letters of support from various other organisations. I spoke with John Bradford, Chair of the Radio Academy (the professional sister organisation of the Student Radio Association), who is well versed in such negotiations with the Authority. He suggested such an appeal could be very unwise, as he feels that there is 'some sympathy within the Authority, to set up a specific student licence which could bypass some or at! of these rules', and that to go in guns blazing could jeopardise any sympathy out there - he also offered to help with high level lobbying for the setting up of such a student licence. It was felt, therefore, that because we are in need of flexibility under current regulations to be granted an FM broadcast any time within a year of May, our best strategy would be to enter negotiations-with the Authority to secure PuLSE's future broadcasts.
1 sincerely hope to be able to report good news on
this and a restart of PuLSE's FM beat for the next
academic year. In the meantime, we continue to be
on air during the day in the Quad, and on the web at
www.pulsefm.co.uk.
Best wishes
Jon Frewin
PuLSE Station Manager VOLUNTARY MENTORS REQUIRED
A challenging opportunity to work positively with young, disadvantaged people from Black and Ethnic minority communities.
Mentors will receive full training, support and regular supervision sessions. Mentoring will be on a one-to-one basis between the mentor and the young person
We are seeking to recruit a number of mentors to work with young people from the Black and ethnic minority communities. These young people require support into society thus increasing their life chances. If you believe you have the enthusiasm, commitment and motivation to take on the challenge of mentoring these young people.
Please contact Angela Coley, ACC Research Services Tel. 0181 765 1055. Mobile: 09757 430 963
" a:
# Ir
night to remember" is how virtually all of us will remember the millennium festivities, no imatter where on the planet we witnessed the transition from old to new. Despite the slight oversight of event organisers in London who failed to realise that water and fire do not mix most parties went off with a large degree of success. Yet time moves on and having thought long and hard about which of the numerous aspects of the millennium we'd like to forget about first, we felt compelled to pay due attention to the "monstrous blamange" (to quote our future King) that has come to grace an unknown place somewhere near London.
In true British style this great nation,, so often a role model to other countries has once again proven a world leader in capturing the essence of the era. In addition to many of London's magnificent erections including Big Ben, Passfield Hall and the Crystal Palace signalling tower, our wonderful capital can now also boast the grandiose construction that is the 'Millennium Doom.' At an estimated (but entirely worthwhile) cost of £750 million and financed by a recent phenomenon introduced by the government known as 'student fees' the Doom has attracted its fair share of adverse publicity. However, at least it goes to show that the Blair administration has got its priorities right - sod the future of this country,.let's blast it all on a big party for me and the missus..,'
Yet in order to distinguish the truth from the fallacies, we conducted an interview with an LSE student who had the misfortune of visiting the 'Doom' in its opening week. He told us of his "amazing day"......
7.59am: Student arrives at Bank station "...to be sure to get there in plenty of time" 11.59am; Bemused student still standing on train waiting to leave Bank station (No apologies given by LU staff).
11.59am & 30 seconds: Student lapses in to
semi-consciousness. Thinks he is in the 'Underground Zone'. (Individuals visiting this zone can experience attractions including being crammed into a space half your own body size, soaring temperatures designed to push the limits of the human body and rancid odours that one couldn't imagine emanated from another human).
17.59pm: Student arrives at 'Doom', cold, starving and disillusioned but with ample time to see best zones. Places order at main attraction, 'McDonalds'.
18.00pm: Closing time. Student is asked politely to leave by 'Doom' officials. Doesn't receive food order.
3.17am: Student arrives home fully understanding what the term 'Millennium Experience' actually means.
So what future lies ahead for the largest covered space in the world, I hear ,you ask? Well after the government has recouped a tenth of the capital spent on the dome it is due to be sold. Therefore and in view of the fact that LSE hall fees are set to rise by at least double the rate of inflation (by whatever measure you choose to take) and considering there are huge numerical pressures on LSE residences there is only one solution! LSE should make use of the extortionate student fees (and the additional revenue generated from forcing students to buy costly course packs), and transform the 'Doom' into a multipurpose commune-type hall large enough to house all our students-with ease- in a free for all environment. Surely this would, in the long run prove far cheaper than the current system. Plus if each student were provided with his or her own personal rowing boat journey times and costs to and from LSE could be dramatically reduced, just like NHS waiting lists had the 'Doom' not been built in the first place. Nice one Tony..........
T/ieBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 7
TTieBeaver
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Collective
Amir Absood, Nanus Aga, Anton Sebi Ahmed, Shaista Ahmed, Mark Antony, Sherrina Anuwar, Shama Aslam, David Bakstien, Mark Baltovic, Anne Beads, Laura Beaufils, Christina Beharry, Jonathan Black, Hannah Bryce, Naomi Colvin, Liz Chong, Peter Clegg, Michael Collins, Jonathan Cooper, Amit Desai, Ritesh Doshi, Michael Epstein, Lee Fedemnan, Shailin Ghelani, Helen Gibson, Deborah Goldemberg, Laura Hales, Shabnum Hasan, Sib Hayer, Katherine Jacomb, Helen Jamieson, Dana Johnson, Kristen Karlstad, Tasha Kosviner, Philip Lam, Becky Little, Fredrik Ljone Hoist, Kenneth Lo, Dan Madden, Garbrielle Menezes, Linda Morris, Sinj Mukherjee, Ben Newton, Daniela Ott, Gareth Palmer, Mateo Paniker, Mark Pallis, Nee! Patel, Alison Ferine, Chelsea Phua, Claire Pryde, Mannan Raja, Zaf Rashid, Loretta Reehill, Silvia Santoro, Susannah Sava, Rob Sellers, Ed Sexton, Sunil Sodha, Tola Soleye, Graham Stevenson, Matthew Stoate, Chris Sutcliffe, Jamie Tehrarii, Damian Thong, Gulshan Verma, Julia Vowles, Julius Walker, Nick Wilkins, Matthew Wilkins, Christina Yap.
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TheBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000
8
International
NEW YEAR SURPRISE
FOR LEBANON
Tears of joy and tears of sorrow during Samer Srouji's new year in Lebanon
The New Year in Lebanon was hailed with much joy and festivities. In Beirut young and old headed for the Lebanon 2000 festival that took place on the Corniche, the capital's coastline. Boasting one of the world's most complex laser-lighting systems the festival featured a variety of shows and concerts. The Lebanese youth headed into the mountains as they like to do at New Year, celebrating in the chalets at the mountain resorfs like Faraya and descending into the square to dance around the huge bonfire, watch fireworks, and sing songs together declaring the New Year over this tiny nation. It was a wonderful time to be there and to participate in the festivities.
Lebanon is always full of surprises and action - sometimes a lot more than bargained for. The spirit of freedom, Arab hospitality and voices chanting and shouting in French, Arabic and English were present everywhere. And with the Muezzin's call to prayer from a nearby minaret, to a church every few blocks away, and the smells of spicy fresh Mediterranean food, of Turkish coffee and tobacco; the contradictions of Lebanon appeared to be holding together.
The events around New Year's were momentous. On the 31st of December some incidents occurred in the north of Lebanon, in a heavily mountainous area. A nun was brutally murdered and a Lebanese army unit was sent up to investigate. The people behind the attack were an unknown Islamist extremist faction and despite what people may think, such factions do not simply materialise out of nowhere in the Middle East. There is of course Hezbollah, a Shiite and Iranian-backed group, but their only concern is ending the Israeli military occupation of Southern Lebanon. This new group called Al-Takfir wal-Hijra is a Sunni Muslim fanatic group and the members are nationals of many different countries. Their number in the North of Lebanon was, according to the Lebanese press, between 100-300 armed persons.
They managed to occupy two
mountain towns and took a part of the Lebanese Army division hostage. Unexpectedly on January 3rd, we heard that 11 of those captured were brutally murdered, including one Commander, Milad Nadaf. Ten of those murdered were Christians and all young men in their twenties. This tells us something about the nature of this group, their prime objective being to degrade Lebanon to the situation it was in during the civil war that ended ten years ago. Fractionalization of the country's social and religious groups stirred suspicion and hatred between them. Eventually the army increased their efforts, to overcome the two village strongholds of the extremist faction.
At the same time, to provoke fear in the heart of the Lebanese, another extremist fired four rocket-propelled grenades at the Russian Embassy in Beirut, taking the violence into the heart of the capital. Opposite the Embassy a sniper was shooting into the streets. Lebanese national security units responded firmly bringing the sniper under heavy machine gun fire and eventually killing him. According to the Lebanese press it seems the man who fired the rockets was a Palestinian who was seriously displeased with the Russian offensive in Chechnya. Obviously, it was not his own ¦ initiative, and those familiar with Lebanon will know that there is always someone (a person, group or state) behind these provocations.
As for the group in the north, the Lebanese army managed to surround the two towns and captured a large number of the terrorists. The remainder scattered to the nearby forests. Then some may have pulled back into what the Lebanese press calls 'insecurity areas', in reality the Palestinian refugee camps.
What's going on?
After the incidents I was thinking of the possible causes for the recent outbreaks and I found

-n.



Reinforcements arrive in the mountains of North Lebanon
they do leave more questions unanswered. On January 2nd I went with some friends to watch James Brown at the Lebanon 2000 festival with his stunning array of dancers. As he sang songs like 'I feel good' the lights from the laser-systems danced above our heads in 3 dimensions while water pumps split the beams into glittering diamonds that clustered in the air. This provided a temporary escape from what we would hear on the news the next day. The Lebanese cannot bear the sounds of sniper fire since the civil war has left too many emotional scars. Fortunately, the response of the army's national security has been strong and united.
An Israeli Initiative?
In the Lebanese pr3ss, the Israelis have been suggested as a possible player behind these terrorist movements. Israel has a long record of interfering in Lebanon's internal affairs, especially during the civil war through the use of Mossad who have carried out ruthless operations in the heart of Beirut.
However at a time of negotiations with Syria, Israel needs a stable Lebanon and one that can perhaps keep Hezbollah under control as the Israelis intend to pull out soon from the area that they have been occupying for over 20 years.
An Islamic Initiative?
An attack on the Russian Embassy, the massacre of a nun, and the terrorist movements around the two mountain villages, Deniyye and Mar-Ellas, have to be seen as part of one major plot. From reading the press while I was in Lebanon I highly suspect that the fighters are an offshoot of the fanatic Islamist factions that fought
Picture - Archive
in Afghanistan against the Russians from 1979-1988. They were recruited from nations around the world through the combined physical and financial effort of the American CIA, Pakistan's intelligence service, and by certain notable Saudi Arabian families including the Saudi multimillionaire Ussama bin Laden. The students and fighters were often recruited through cultural centres in a variety of nations, for 6-weeks religious training in Pakistan and then were given the choice of serving the 'cause' militarily.
. ¦
Continued page 21
The Lebanese cannot bear the sounds of sniper fire since the civil war has left too many emotional scars"
''¦V
A.
aPolitics
TheBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 9
GLENDA AVOIDS THE BITCHIN' IN THE PLAYGROUND
In the first of a series of interviews leading up to the London Mayoral election on the 4th of May, Adie interviews prospective Labour candidate Glenda Jackson
If they had wanted Ken to be the candidate they could not have played it better." Glenda Jackson, ex-actress turned MP and now Labour Mayor of London 'wannabe', faces a problem. However serious and credible her platform and campaign, it is stained like a spilt can of lager the morning after by Ken Livingstone's continued vilification by the Labour Party HQ, Millbank. Over the past three months things have turned nasty. First there was the surprise shift from a 'one-member, one-vote' system for deciding the Labour party candidature, to an 'electoral college' to ensure that Frank Dobson, Tony's candidate of choice, got to the top of this list. Secondly the London Labour party membership lists 'found' their way to Dobson, but not to Livingstone or Jackson. Finally, and perhaps most unbelievably, a press release was sent out announcing that Jackson had agreed to endorse Dobson's campaign. Any knowledge of such a statement was immediately denied by the Jackson camp, and the source increasingly looked like it was forces within Millbank trying to force her hand into standing down from the race. Extreme, and incompetent. Machiavellian behavior indeed.
Even this however seems to pale in comparison with the way in which both the tabloids and the broadsheets, the Evening Standard in particular have become anti-Livingstone rant platforms. For example 'Why Ken must not be Mayor' by Tony Blair, 'Livingstone must not be London Mayor' by Gordon Brown (seeing a pattern here?), 'Why Mad, Baby-Eating, Commie Ken must be Drawn out into the Street and Shot' by Peter Mandelson (only joking). Given all the polls show that Ken is, for the moment, London's choice, the Labour triumvirate seems to have taken a huge gamble too many. The Spin-Meisters might have lost their way.
Glenda Jackson sensibly is in older, mature big sister mode with more important things to think about like boys and manifestos when I meet her on a cold, winter's January afternoon and she is being very diplomatic, if a little irate, about the entire Ken issue. "Is this an interview with me or an interview about Ken?...If you want
to go and interview Ken, go and interview Ken" She has a point.
Glenda is a person who clearly is in politics not for the food-fight, but because she is genuinely cares about the issues of government, and London government in particular. However the brief spell of the MP for Highgate and Hampstead as a junior minister for transport under John Prescott wasn't exactly glorious.
Some even suggested that entering the mayorial race on July 26 last year was to avoid	the
embarrasment of becoming a victim of a ministerial reshuffle.
But her detractors seem to be proven wrong by a passion in those eyes for the job.
Transport has stayed high on her agenda, and she has stuck by her guns for joint public and private ownership of that testing ground for cattle trucks that is the Underground...but the record of Railtrack on the national network? "That presupposes that Railtrack will be the only player in the game." Why look to the private sector anyway? "For the certainty that the money will be there year in, year out...and that the contracts will be delivered on time." Mmmm...l would want girls in the front and the back of the car with a considerable amount of champagne before I threw money into a bottomless pit, but it may well be that there are the international consortia out there that are able prepared to pitch in. In the meantime, Jackson has proposed the idea of 'travel corridors' whereby incentives are offered for people to travel at staggered times of the day. However while this may work for shift workers, she seems to accept that there is no short-term solution to the rush hour traffic on the Underground. Congestion charges too would be looked at, but their use would be more qualified than



Girl Power: Will Jackson stay on track for London?
proposed by Ken for example, who seems to be champing on the bit on this one. For those of you who live near the river, greater use will be made of river buses (an old idea but you've gotta' like it).
It was slightly disturbing how we moved so seamlessly from the issue of the homeless to that of student life in London. A key tenet of Jackson's manifesto is remove the need of any person having to sleep on the streets through the establishment of a Social Rescue Team and a Homeless Database, so that "...every rough sleeper would have one individual who would guide them through the system." While impossible to find fault with the intentions behind this, I still doubt that this would require no extra funding. Time may tell. On the housing shortage in London, institutions such as the health trusts would be encouraged to develop their unused land for accommodation. As for the student housing shortages, she is prepared to accept the fact, and to her credit given that here was an opportunity for a cheap shot, that there is no
short-term solution until there is an expansion of developments "...such as the Greenwich Village project." On the fees question, out rolled the mantra of "Education, Education, etc., etc."
It is hard not to like Glenda Jackson, despite the occasional lapses into Blair rhetoric on national issues such as education, health and EMU... and her favourite football team is Tranmere Rovers, but she doesn't know what colour they play in now, so you can't hold that against her. She has above all produced a reasonable and defensible manifesto while staying off the rampant ego trip that would seem to characterize some of the other candidates. Others have criticized her in print for not being able to take on the social role of the job, but hey Glenda, get their backs up and shake them up a bit. Her fate however hangs in the balance. Should Ken run as an independent she will have to fight Frank for the Labour nomination and my money would be with her to win. If Ken stays, I'll leave my rnoney in the
Picture - Daisy Caudron
bank...But maybe, if the planets and stars are in the right alignment and Aquarius is rising, Prescott might be proved right in claiming that she would be "a damn good mayor."...And Daisy says "Girl Power."
For more information before election day, 4th May, go to www.glendajackson.com
"Is this an interview with me or an interview about Ken?...lf you want to go and interview Ken, go and interview Ken"
TheBeaver
¦Politics 2" January 24th 2000 ^--
BRINGING HOME THE REVOLUTION
James Corbett tracks one grandmother's path to electoral reform and wonders whether
one women's dream will ever become a reality
To those who haven't heard of her, Doris Haddock sounds like a somewhat aged take on Forrest Gump - she is the old lady who "just woke up one day and decided to walk," (she's arthritic and her limbs wouldn't stand up for the run), in her case across the width of America. But Doris Haddock -Granny D to her followers - isn't any old would-be Jack Kerouc, willing to hit the road on an impulse, she is an old lady with a mission: to change the way that political candidates are funded. Ninety today (24 January) and a political activist all her life, Mrs Haddock had long been concerned about the way political candidates are funded and feared that too many politicians are in debt to big money Interests, whether it be the gun, gambling or tobacco industry. It was of some concern to her that George W Bush was being promoted as the best Republican candidate merely because he had raised $ 5 0 million :j|
campaign money before anyone else while other hopefuls, such as Elizabeth Dole who dropped out of the
Presidential race last year citing a lack of funds, were not getting their due chance.
"We don't know what George Bush stands for," she said. "Apparently he stands for being able to raise a lot of money. I don't want my grandchildren to have to vote for someone who has to sell his soul to get elected."
So she hit the road in an audacious one-woman protest last year using her 3,000-mile journey to spread the call for reforms in the area of political funding. Yet with just a month of her year long journey still to go it remains doubtful whether her key objectives will be fulfilled: the billionaire businessmen Steve Forbes and Donald Trump both
look set to join the presidential race while the much derided Bush still leads the polls. "I feel we are losing our democracy," she told the New York Times, "the corporations are taking over and deciding who gets elected."
Back on this side of the Atlantic, such political activism is largely vacant,
and where it exists _
regarded as the actions of an eccentric minority. Admittedly no such situation exists whereby only a candidate backed by big money can seriously challenge for high office, largely because our own parliamentary system precludes that occurrence (witness the failure of James Goldsmith' "Referendum Party" to fe win a single seat in the last ¦|k election), but the funding of parties is still shrouded in secrecy. At least in America the general public is allowed to know who paid what to whom, in Britain the situation exists whereby only those who have given more than £5,000 are named and even then the exact amount they have donated is not revealed. Thus we have to rely upon press leaks to discover that Bernie Ecclestone made a £1 million donation to the Labour Party and that Michael Ashcroft is keeping the Conservatives financially afloat thanks to a sizeable standing order paid monthly from his Belize bank account. The secrecy and lack of accountability which lies at the core of British political life is one of the main themes of Jonathon Freedland's book Bring Home the Revolution (Fourth Estate, £6.99). In this comparative study of American and British political cultures, Freedland lauds the American way to the extent that he recommends a near complete overhaul of the British political system. Freedland sees few positive elements within the existing order and the ten point manifesto he gives in his
conclusion- in which his proposals range from more democracy in the election of local and national politicians, a comprehensive freedom of % information


act and a Bill

0 f Rights to a written constitution and the abolition of the monarchy-lives up to the book's title. Freedland's ideas, if implemented, would have wider ranging and more comprehensive effects in our day to day lives than say Granny D's demands would in America, yet he receives scant recognition beyond the realms of a leftist elite.
When he spoke at the LSE
•before Christmas, Will Hutton bemoaned the fact that people weren't getting angry any more. He cited the watery Freedom of Information Act and the removal of the right to trial by jury as two key examples of the acceptance of unacceptable measures with barely a murmur of discontent. Other commentators criticise the Blairist revolution "that has never really happened," saying that the current government is merely continuing the previous Conservative government's policies rather than implementing any sort of radical project. To the contrary the Blair Project, the Third Way, the revolt of the New Left, call it what you will, is already underway; witness the abolition of hereditary peers, the recent Wakenham report and the devolution of power to Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. What few recognise though is that it is in essence a conservative revolution, a long-winded project whose final ends are probably going to be far removed from the ideals of those such as Freedland and Hutton.
Although rumour has it that Freedland is the bedtime reading
of the Prime Minister and his wife is oft rumoured to hold private views regarding the abolition of the monarchy, Blair is wily enough to realise that he has to play to the sensibilities of a conservative country, and to call for the complete overhaul of the existing order, to literally bring home the revolution, would be political suicide. Britain is changing, but as with the march of Granny D, there are still many long miles left to walk.
Yet with Just a month of her year long Journey still to go it remains doubtful whether her key objectives will be fulfilled
Granny.




Granny D - One (verty old) woman marching for reform
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LITERARY
BLACK AAAGIC WOAAAN
TOLA SOLEYE reviews l,TITUBIA by Mary Conde, a novel about being a black witch during the Salem Witch Hunt.
This is a fictional account of the life and times of Tituba, the West Indian slave who was only given a cursory mention by the historians documenting the ' Witches of Salem' saga. The novel attempts to examine 'the bigotries and hypocrisies of Puritan New England' by providing a voice for the neglected black witch. Maryse Conde recreates 17th century life and provides a penetrating insight into the societal Issues which remain prevalent
It's not amazins but it'll do for an afternoon of cultural or spiritual self-improvement
to this day. Anti-Semitism is alive and kicking and along with the witches, we see the persecution of Jews often painfully highlighted. Tituba's subjugation and abuse is graphically detailed but there is often a slightly unrealistic detachment from the experiences. This may be in part due to the somewhat stilted prose that often results from a less than Ideal or accurate translation from French to English.
The novel charts Tituba's journey from slavery in Barbados to persecution in Salem but fails to fully incorporate the history, as we know it. Tituba's perspective is realistically portrayed but the sense of 'completeness' is lacking which is a characteristic problem of prequels (see Wide Sargasso Sea that attempted to do the same for 'Jane Eyre'). That said, for a relatively
comprehensive account of life as a slave, African witchcraft and the African slave mentality, this book hits the spot. I was anxious to review the novel but finished it with a mild feeling of disappointment. It failed to deliver what It promised. The blurb described a novel capable of transcending boundaries but I feel that very few boundaries were crossed let alone transcended. It is however particularly relevant right now with ' The Crucible' being put on by The Drama Society. It's not amazing but it'll do for an afternoon of cultural or spiritual self-improvement and covers and area of history often left In unresearched or underpublicised.
I, TITUBA by Maryse Conde is available In paperback published by Faber & Faber RRP £7.99
POST MODERN PRAT
ALEX KRANZ reviews the latest Discworld novel to come to paperback. CARPE JUGULUM by Terry Pratchett.
NEPAL COMPETITION
RACHNA UPPAL travels to Nepal with Footprint Handbook on Nepal by Tom Woodhatch
Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels balance three narrative agendas that ought to be incompatible. They are first and fundamentally legitimate fantasy adventures, playing wide casts of characters and multiple plotlines against each In exciting conflicts that involve a lot of running around and casting of magical spells. But they are secondly a very bemused and Irreverent send-up of the fantasy genre, libertine enough in their jadedness as to mock the fantasy conventions that have gone before without
apparent concern that they might leave the genre worn out and its limits exposed. And they are thirdly a cheerful canvas for Pratchett's satirical musings on the contemporary foibles of the real world, which find their way into the Discworld as oblique reflections, such as the anti-Goth fixation of the vampire teenagers in Carpe Jugulum.
CARPE JUGULUM Is Pratchett's twenty-third Discworld novel, and the series' current bestselling paperback. The vampire family of the story Is conscientiously modern (preferring, for example, the modernist nomenclature of 'vampyres'), allowing Pratchett to have his fun with the conventions of both vampire mythology and contemporary Goth fashion In one family squabble: Count Magpyr, who has slowly weaned his family off their phobia of garlic and religious symbols, has gotten them up at dawn on an overcast day so as to get them used to sunlight ('We can acclimatize. And one day. . . the beach. . .') and insisted that they try a bottle of wine, rather than the usual breakfast of blood. Pratchett Inserts cute gibes about oUr real contemporary world, but he squeezes the real Interest and motivation of his characters out of
then bent conventions of the fantasy genre itself, such as finding a real, If thoroughly comical, pathos in the Count's wish to be like normal people, even if It means getting used to drinking sour, watery wine.
"Post-modern" is a tag thrown about pretty lightly. But in his Discworld novels, authentic fantasy stories that nonetheless parody fantasy-as well as absolutely anything else they can get their hands on-Pratchett may have earned It. Furthermore, the freedom of his imaginary world is irresistible: the Discworld Is not just huge and fantastically cosmopolitan in the variety of Its denizens-humans, witches, vampires, a sardonic Grim Reaper-it is similarly diverse in its attitude. So Pratchett can incorporate into his stories any animal or creature, any literary genre, any cultural reference. The referential humour remains a trademark, but it Is this exuberant freedom of concept, characterization, and style that really fuels the Discworld series through Its twenty-third installment and beyond.
CARPE JUGULUM by Terry Pratchett is out now in paperback, published by Corgi RRP £5.99
Being someone for whom presentation is everything, 1 must conclude that t was quite impressed when I saw the enticing cover of this particular handbook to Nepal. Apart from a breathtaking photograph: lush valleys set against a backdrop of soaring snow covered peaks; the inset provides a highly useful coUection of information such as Nepal dialling codes, a guide to hotel prices (even quoted in Euros!) and a list of exchange rates, so all in all from the outset, you're able to deduce that this is a very up-to-date, factually useful book. Now^ concerning, the content, well that was also impressive too, especially the extensive research that went into this book.
Information about the various regions and districts is professionally divided up into easily accessible sections and is annotated with easy to read maps which outline the main sights and on some maps routes of specific interest are laid down. For those of you whose cartographic jknowledge extends only to guessing that Nepal is sornewhere in the East, this particular attribute of the handbook should be highly welcomed. ; The handbook also goes one
step further and introduces travelling into India and even Tibet and of course all border-formalities are explained. So if you are indeed thinking of visiting Nepal, this guide comes highly recommended; my only concern is that there is too much crammed in, making it difficult to decide exactly where to go or what to do!!
NEPAL FOOTPRINT HANDBOOK by Tom Woodhatch is out now RRP £11.99
COMPETITION
Want to go to Nepal ; anytime sooo? Got the dosh but not the info? ^ have 5 copies of the handbook to give away.
Just name two ? countries bordering Nepal and leave your answer with your name
and number in the Literary pigeonhole in room C023 and we'll get back to you.
•J.

THE BEAUTIFUL SOUTH
RIYAN ITANI CHECKS OUT AMERICAN BEAUTY
American Beauty is the film that everyone is talking about, out in the US 'at the moment and released here on Friday it opened to a tumult of Oscar talk and critical acclaim. On the face of things one begins to wonder what all the fuss is about, after all a story about the Middle American mid-life crisis hardly has the pull of a major hollywood blockbuster. So should you actually bother to part with any of your hard-earned student loan to go and see this film? Well the short answer is
quite simply, yes. If you can be arsed with the long answer read on...
Here's the gist of Kevin Spacey's midlife crisis: he's told his boss where to stick his job, he's bought a incredible vintage sports car with his redundancy/blackmail cheque, his daughter's stunning cheerleader friend is cracking on to him and to top it all the kid next door is dealing top-knotch weed at knock-down rates - this movie is none-the-less a great deal more comic and moving than it sounds.
This is without doubt an excellent film and there really is something which will appeal to everyone. It can be enjoyed simply for its spot-on portrayal of a present day nuclear family played out in the fashion of a scathingly funny p r i m e -1 i m e sitcom. Whilst others will look beyond that and
'experience' American Beauty as itj explores the human mind and ponders the humdrum existence, that Lester (Spacey) forges ahead with every morning. Excellent performances are given by all. Spacey fails to dissapoint in another in a cannon of 'career bests'. He is comedically brilliant and his timing is nothing short of impeccible. Spacey is surrounded by dazzling turns from Annette Bening (who will make every man 1n the audience drool), Chris Cooper, Thora Birch and new kid on the block Wes Bentley.
American Beauty manages impressively to occupy that dodgy, dark but funny area of American film making that others have pitiously failed to fill. This movie balances out comedy (Spacey getting caught by his wife while beating one out) with socially rough topics such as homophobia and family break-ups. It gets a huge laugh from the familiar and a serious note of tragedy from harsh realities of middle-American social discord.
I AM THE RESURRECTION
MARK CAMPBELL SIZES UP STIGMATA
Stigmata stars Patricia Arquette as Frankie Paige the stigmatic in question, whose troubled case is dealt with by organic scientist turned sleuth priest Father Andrew Kiernan (Gabriel Byrne). Stigmatics are poor souls with such deep felt Christian beliefs that they inflict crucifixion injuries upon themselves. Throughout this film, Frankie is particularly irked, because despite her atheism, crucifixion injuries are inflicted upon her from an unknown spiritual source.
Director Rupert Wainwright relies on well hallowed techniques to maintain a chilling atmosphere from the outset- a bass undercurrent sound which Is so deep it
resonates your bowels and eerie whispering whenever Frankie is due to receive a spiritual decking. Prepare yourselves for loud bangs and plenty of bleeding as Frankie gets gradually crucified in various stages. Firstly she is the recipient of holes through the wrists in the bath and then there is the Ingenious use of handrails on the underground- ideal for a spectral lashing. Employees of Interflora beware; at one stage her bodily contortions are so severe, a flower stall is an unlikely victim.
For the first hour, the barrage of Injuries Frankie sustains (by the way, she's a screamer) has the effect of making one feel thoroughly uncomfortable, certainly a
Arquette enjoys a trip on the underground.
laudable directorial trait. I was hoping the explanation regarding Frankieis affliction would sustain the tension already present. Unfortunately, Wainwright cannot build upon this with the introduction of his central premise; that of a Catholic cover-up of an ancient gospel,
which Frankie as a culmination of her possession, earnestly scribes on every conceivable surface. It does not correlate why she must endure a crucifixion so she may write the words of a dead priestis translation. One can only hypothesise	that
Wainwright did not believe the audienceis attention would be maintained, if he did not resort to producing what is essentially a poltergeist movie.
This clashing of spiritual possession with church admin problems do not combine together to make one chillingly effective movie. As a result, the film descends into a run of the mill possession eni exorcism farce, with Gabriel Bryne doing the act in question and at the same time discovering obscure subplots; that at last he has found his faith and that Arquette gives him the
horn. Bless.
Stigmata may be worth viewing for those sadistic types whom enjoy the spectacle (get it?) of Patricia Arquette receiving the spiritual beating of her life. But if you desire a worthy and thought provoking reason to why half the film is based upon a crucifixion, 1 wouldn't bother.


STUDENT RADIO CHART
men
1) Oasis- Go It Let Out I) Death In Vegas- Aisha I) Aridreas Johnson- Glorious 4) Manics- The Masses Against The Classes
Si R.EJA.-The Great Beyond
6)	Eels- Mr. E's Beautiful Blues
7)	All Saints- Pure Shores i) Red Hot Chili Peppers-Otherside
§)[ ten- Steal My Sunshine
10) Super Furfy Anjnfials- Do Or
Die
tHE THE STUTTER ROUND THE COUNTRY
Despite the growing rumours that Matt Johnson was so ugly when born that they had to draw a Cricle round his mouth so that his mum wouldn't feed his arse he has managed to form a new incarnation of The The with which to tour the country. They wil be playing the Shepherd's Bush Empire on the 6th of April, and tickets are on sale now from the venue. Due to the huge heap of bills at the Johnson household, cost the'princely sum of £15.
LSE Live Music Society Bash
Chamber pots at the ready because the Live Music Society has forced its way back into the tSE stronghold to provide a stage for the cream of the uni's musical talent to air their si/arblfngs to the masses. The event is on Tuesday 25th January at 8pm in the Underground. Be there or wonder where the racket^s coming from.
CAMBER SOUNDS
Two new headliners have been added to the already packed bill for the All Tomorrow's Parties festival to be held at Camber Sands holiday park near Rye in East Sussex. Super Furry Animals and the not so youthful Sonic Youth squeeze comfortably on to the top of the line-up which also includes Stereolab, Tindersticks and Mogwai who reputedly hand-picked the artists they wanted to perform. So if you fancy reliving the situation comedy of the miiynhiom that was Hi-De-Hi pop along to book a chalet and pick yourself up a ticket for a wallet grabbing £90
SCREAAAAGER
Jonny France dodges the shrapnel as the sparks fly from 'down-the-pan' label Creation's latest release
Primal Scream - "Exterminator"
"I
'm gonna cry, cry myself
blind....." From sweet
country rock 1994 to an album that reeks of totalitarian menace, urban paranoia and heinous narcotics. Primal Scream 2000 have created an apocalyptic tour de force. If last altaum Vanishing Point' occasionally felt a little lightv^eight and fragmented, 'Exterminator' is dense, claustrophobic and very, very disturbing. It grabs today's dance Zeitgeist just as surely as 'Screamadelica' did in 1991, but finds it in a much less celebratory mood.

IMtMLJiCKM
CTItMNTIt

Whether Exterminator represents a damning epitaph to the end of the century, or a doomed harbinger of things to come, we would do well to exercise caution.	"Military-
industrial____ illusions of
democracy" inveighs first single 'Swastika Eyes', belying the anarchistic spirit and preoccupation with Vietnam which infuses this record. Such cynicism is directed not at past Communist/Fascist regimes but rather the 'model' ¦democracies of today, which, the hopes of millions having shattered across a war in Vietnam, continue to stagnate as society disintegrates around us. Most remarkably, the shock troops disseminating
this message are in fact five 30 something Brit-rock veterans. By rights they should be collecting their pensions from Creation Records, not leading the revolution.
'ou know how you always thought that dance music was cool, but lacked that certain human touch, that the int^ration of dance and rock had to mean more than a Fat Boy Slim remix? Well the Primals have delivered such an organic beast, working with a variety of producers from Kevin Shields to Adrian Sherwood on each individual track. Its like the Stooges meeting with David Holmes in the most forsaken ghetto in town, a bitches brew of punk ethos, industrial layering and Bobby Gillespie's plaintive wail. The first seven tracks are untouchable. 'Kill all hippies' sounds like Curtis Mayfield soundtracking the Escape from LA, before 'Accelerator' takes off over a ragged, furious punk riff, 'Rocks off on mescaline. "The civil disobedience, the civil disobedience" taunts next	track
'Exterminator', over a relentless, electro-funk groove. We then get 'Swastika eyes', not the flimsy 5 Chemical brothers remix, but the hard, metallic techno of the original.
Track number five 'Pills' is a startling addition to the Scream's cannon, opening with a fraught Gillespie rap that builds into a torrent of expletives, to the sound of looped, straining
synth strings. Its the sound of Toxteth, Moss Side, Brixton, DC South East, and every other condemned enclave you've had the misfortune to find yourself in.
'Blood money" is the escape, a revved up, jazzy Lao Schaffren's 'Bullet' for the severity of our times. Providing scant respite,
'Keep your dreams'
serves up a return to the post-coital reverie of 'Higher than the sun'.
Gillespie promises to go "deeper underground", and whether it's in a narcotic haze, to conjure up harder beats or escape from post-Fordism, one can't be sure. 'Exterminator's' pleasures are many, and we even get the Kevin Shield remix of "If they
microw
move kill 'em....', a bongoed beat which culminates in a wall of irascible white noise. 'Shoot Speed Kill Light' closes 'Exterminator' in fine, 'Death-in-Vegas'-esque style, Bernard Sumner thrashing away on guitar, piloting the mothership to new realms.
Easy pee-sy
Whether by chance or design (perhaps	in
competition with Asian	Dub
Foundation!), Primal Scream	have
created the most incendiary record since Public Enemy's 'Fear of the Black Planet', or a nineties equivalent of say, 'V/hat's Goin' On?', but set in much
harsher tones. Offensive but intensely listenable for over an hour, it single-handedly sweeps away reports of Brit-pop's demise. The 21st Century though? You wouldn't
want to live there.
?????
'Exterminator' is released % Creation on January 31st.
PRIAAALS HIT THE ROAD
Primal Scream will be taking their toons on tour in March. The shows promise to be an extravaganza of a night, with guest DJs including David Holmes and suuport bands as well. Don't know who, though. Anyway, as some of you may be thinking about being on hols somewhere else in sunny Britian, here are the full list of dates:
March:
8-	Rock City, Nottingham (£13.50, from 01159 588484)
9-	Octogan, Sheffield (£13.50, from 0114 222 8777)
10-	UEA, Norwich (£13.50, frorti 01603 505401)
12- Corn Exchange, Edinburgh (sold out)
14-	Ritz, Manchester (sold out)
15-	Hammersmith Palaisj iondor (sold out)
April
21- Brixton Academy (£16.50 from 0171 771 2000)
?????	Old Building
?????	Clement House
?????	St.Clements
?????	The old Library,
?????	The new Library
MUSIC
WIN HIDEOUS AMOUNTS OF FREE STUFF!
Lordy, Lordy, lord. The Beaver office is full to the brim of NME goodies in support of the Awards, Tour and Astoria shows coming at the end of January. Will someone please oblige us by taking them off j3ur hands?????
Cluttering up this underground hole are the foUowing prizes for one winner;
-1 Asian Dub Foundation CD -1 Death in VegasXD -1 NME Premier Tour Shirt -1 NME Tour Bag
And if that wasn't enough, four oh-so-lucky runners up will be adorned with these top prizes:
-1 NME Premier Tour T-Shirt -1 NME Tour Bag
Should you wish to do us this favour, answer this question or die:
Name one of the acts that played on last year's NME tour.
Email your answer to S.Ganatra@lse.ac.uk	or
C.R.Jurd@tse.ac.uk by January 30th. Winners will be picked at random. Editor's decision is probably wrong as always, but final nonetheless.
Playing the NME shows this year are Ash, Muse, Shack, Asian Dub Foundation, Feeder, A, The Beta Band, Coldptay, Embrace, Elastica, Campag Velocet, Regular Fries among a host of many others. Check out www.nme.com for more information. Note that this site will also be broadcasting all the gigs live. Technical problems permitting.
MOWLAM FOR, CLINTON AGAINST
Inhale
Feed
^Pir'om
getstle's $re»kers
I Xt h e start' this record makes a good Impression. The so-called track gives an introduction that will make Californian punk fans listen on with hope, as it gives off a small impression of Green Day dash Driven diluted with 5 parts melody. As the record rocks on, the mad caddies/ pennywise fans lose Interest, but suddenly those forgotten Seattle scene lovers wake up to the sweet scent of some grunge possibility with 'Listen to the Sound' and 'Alone'. 'Lucky', though, is not so against criticism as it lets everyone down, and 'On the Beach' probably was where the band was when the were writing the song, so we can excuse them for not being concentrated on producing fine (insert Southern American accent here) music. Can we? Listening to
the rest of the tracks makes me wanna say Yes, as these guys have really come up with some ear-catching tunes and riffs, if not an original style. This 1999 record is a good example of profoundly 90s rock, so even if Inhale haven't come up with the sound of the new mil!@#6 (you know, the m-word). Feed is definitely a record (36-minutes, halfway between an EP and a LP, let's call it HIP) worth listening to!
????? Elias Corossis
SWISS (ROCK &) ROLL
Sinner DC
Panoramic
Sinner DC are a Swiss trio formed in Geneva in 1995. This is their first album released in the UK, but previously in the German and French charts in 98. You wonder what the French and Germans would be like if they ate British beef because if they enjoy Sinner DC something fnust already be wrong with their heads. The band plays what could generously be labelled noisy-pop and it is absolutely awful. The recording is poor, the
music is dreadful, you plainly cannot hear the lyrics (and does it really matter?) and I couldn't even notice when a song was finished and another one had started. The information sheet which came with the album says 'don't be fooled by the elegantly throbbing atmospherics and pop craftsmanship of the album'... elegantly throbbing atmospherics? I'd find more elegant whoever wrote the text never actually listened to Sinner DC.
I looked very, very hard for something positive to say about
Panoramic and the only thing I could find was that the name of the first track is fairly witty: 'Gazm or Gasm'. There that's it, nothing else.
PS - As an aside, I searched Amazon.co.uk for Panoramic and they claimed the album was unavailable but would be released on 10 October 2011 so you could order now and It would be shipped as soon as they got it. I'm disappointed, as It is quite likely that I'll still be alive then. 10 October 2111, now there's a good release date for Sinner DC....
????? Ricardo Vale
with a blunt, rusty scissors. The rest of the song fares little better, and overall this is a dire, unoriginal release.
2/10 PD
Muse
Sunburn
If you've seen Muse's weird, plastic CDs, you know they are impossible to open. Passed around the Beaver Office, everyone failed in their attempt to get the damn thing out of Its cover. As close as 1 am to boycotting the frigging thing, having heard the song from the album. It does desrves copious amounts of praise Mmmmmmm...Muse...
8/10 SG
James
We're going to miss you Shite song by a shite band of wankers. Sounds like a load of sheep trapped in a barrel with a Welshman or three. Yes it really is that good and no, we won't miss James when they're gone...
1/ 10 AS
April
Bring you Love April use words like 'juggernaut', 'space-travel' and "smouldering' when describing their music. I prefer 'underachieving', 'monotonous' and 'shoegazing revival' but fair play to 'em. Given another chord and slightly less reverb they could be the new Chapterhouse.
5/10 DC
SINGLE
Matthew Jay
4 Songs
Impress your loved one with Food record's sensitive new signing, Matthew Jay, whose debut EP '4 Songs' is a fine statement of intent. 'Please don't send me away' is a perfectly formed slice of folksy Indie, like Crowded House flirting with the ghost of Nick Drake. From austere beginnings it builds into a sweet, falsetto driven chorus that will have you gazing wistfully out of the window when it comes on XFM. Liberate him from the AOR production, and he'll go far.
7/10 JF
Fiona Apple
Fast as you can :| don't think too many people in Britain pay too much attention to Fiona Microsoft; oops- Apple I meant (brainwashed kid of the 90s, please forgive me), but if you've got enough American friends you've probably noticed how big she is there. Well the point is that this single shows that Apple is worth her salt. 'Fast as you can' is as driving and refreshing as it sounds, with the right production and all , ideal as a wakerllp, track In the rporning. You know What i wanna say: buy it as ^..(Insert title then click OK)
EC
N-Ftuence
Sweet Substance Well by the looks of it someone's taken some time off pimpin' and decided to add to society's ills by releasing this little crock of shit. 48K records, that's the extremely welt known and loved production company, have 'banged out another wicked one' with this four track, mixes single. Do the sane music world a favour and avoid it like the local paedophile.
1/10 Ri
My Life Story
Walk/Don't Wali<
um sTomv
WALK/DON'T WALK

Underrated indie-popsters My Life Story have often entertained with their enchanting, string-laden numbers, and this release is no different. Downbeat verses give way to a breezy chorus that is reminiscent of Crowded House, and although It is fairly pedestrian at times, it will easily satisfy existing fans.
6/10 PD
Blaque Ivory
Bring It AU To Me You can hear the Casio-keyboard chees-iness of this record just by looking at the cover of this release; which admirably sets a new benchmark for run-of-the^mitl-ness. Only slightly less predictable than the result of a popularity contest between the Queen Mother and Genghis Khan its the same old RnB beat with a few pleasant voiced singing the word "baby" a lot.
2/10 CJ
Family Values
Diffrent Times This is house 70s-disco style, Vannessa Freeman providing the sassy vocals for the latest Kirk DeGiorgio offering. The funk guitar everpresent behind her voice raises this Cassius-style track above the quagmire of the mediocre. The addition on the 8-sides of the instrumental and Freeman a cappella goes to show that Diffrent Times Is greater than the sum of its parts.
7/10 CJ
Bloodhound Gang
The Bad Touch In anticipation of their forthcoming UK tour, LA'S smuttiest band release this single from recent album 'Hooray for Boobies'. With a sound simitar to Limp Bizkit, the track fails miserably in attempting to wind up the moral .majority, its chorus of 'You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do ott the discovery channel' about as amusing as having your testicles removed
CLUBBING
Charts w/c 17/01/00
Blackmarket records
25 D'Arblay Street, London W1V 3FH
Drum'n'Bass
1.	Ray Keith Something Out (UFO)
2.	EZ Rollers EZ Rollers (MSX)
3.	Futuretech Tunnel Vision (Tech)
4.	The Infantry EP The Infantry EP (Underfire)
5.	Dylan Corkscrew (Outbreak)
6.	Digital and Spirit Phantom Force (Phantom)
7.	Rugged Rugged (Rugged)
8.	Ed Rush and Optical Gasmask (Virus)
9.	Special K Slipstream (Vinyl Conflict)
10.	2 X Freestyle Shy FX/ Brockie Remix (TT)
House
1.	Sneaky Armada Illicit (X)
2.	Joey Negro Can't Get High Without U (Azuli)
3.	The Deviants Obvious (Large)
4.	Nightsource The Rise Above (Naked Music)
5.	Jon Cutler The Trip Meister (Remedie)
6.	Eternal Sun Afro Swyped (Wave)
7.	Spiller Mighty Miami EP
(Dreambeat)
8.	Bini and Martini Happiness (Azuli)
9.	Johnick 2000 All That Kissin (Henry Street)
10.	Joe T Vanelli Project Don't Bring Me Dov/n (Dreambeat)
Cool cuts
1.	Bini and Martini Happiness (Azuli)
2.	Barbara Tucker Stop Playin' With My Mind (Positiva/ Strict)
3.	Sunburst Band Radiant EP
(Z)
4.	Tedd Patterson Roots (Black Vinyl)
5.	Mutiny UK Secrets ' (Sunflower)
XSF Records
39 Berwick Street, Soho, London W1V 3RE
Trance/Techno chart
1.	Stage One Space Manoeuvres
(Hooj Choons)
2.	Rank 1 Airwave (Free For All)
3.	Pound a Harris Formentera (Rising High)
4.	Fergie vs. Bk Hoovers and Horns (Nukleuz)
5.	Ocean Wave Velvet (Rhythm Syndicate)
6.	DJ Tiesto presents Control Freaks Subspace Interference (XSF)
7.	Tom Stevens Emotions (Go For It)
8.	DJ Vincenzo Eternity (Black Hole)
9.	Highgate Pitchin (Incentive)
10.	Ricky Inkredible Energize
As we prepare to kick off a new feature next week giving the lowdown on how student friendly London clubs really are, we went round the LSE to ask the raving massive:
What are the best/worst clubs you have ever been to?
Amy Buxton 2nd year Social Policy
"The best club I've been to was The End on a night they were playing house and garage and r'n'b. It was cheap to get in, drinks were reasonably priced, there was a nice atmosphere with good vibes and loads of sexy men.
The worst club was Telepathy (jungle rave) at The Rex in Stratford." (nuff said-ed.)
Tamar Makary
General Course, International History
" The worst night out I've ever had was at the Hanover Grand on a Thursday night. We were absolutely robbed by the. entrance fee, they played loads of crap club mixes of r'n'b songs; it was really disappointing after all I'd heard coming from New York about how cool London's clubs are. It sucked."
Claire Currie 2nd year Social Policy
The worst club I went to was the Colliseum on a Saturday night. They played house and garage and it was my birthday so I was really up for it but everyone had such an attitude; there was a really negative vibe in there. Plus it was raining that night. I still have terrifying nightmares about it to this day."
John Sagan
2nd year Anthropology and Law
The best club I went to was The Funkin' Pussy held at The Africa Centre, a venue haunted by the spirit of Soul II Soul. The minute I walked in they played "When I Reminisce Over You" by Pete Rock and C L Smooth, which has this poignant horn hoop that goes "da da da da da dada dada". It hits me every time. They were just throwing down beats and rhymes all night. It was amazing."
12 hard black inches
Beanfield The Season remixes (12") The Season is the second single taken from The 'Field's critically acclaimed album "Human Patterns, is remixed here by Sheffield based Swag Productions. A nice little downbeat roller with deep b-lines as some wicked vocals courtesy of 21 year old Bajka, watch out for this one, folks.
Mutiny UK Secrets/ Blowing in the Wind (12")
This tune is already speeding up the house charts, with its splendid pounding house beats and funky vocal hook. The b-side, Blowin' Like The Wind is slightly darker but will still please the house massive no end. Mmmm, nice.
Krust Coded Language
Sounds familiar, eh? Looks like things aren't going too well for Coded Language as Krust finds himself In 'established d'n'b producer debut album hell'. This 1s the fingers crossed second time round re-release for Krust's debut effort (yeah, a new cover should do the trick), a eclectic mix of dark basslines, jazz and funk sounds and even a bit of classical
orchestration for good measure.
Vocalist Morgan makes an appearance on many of the tunes on Coded Language, and while it might be said that she doesn't exactly have the voice of an angel, her vocals work well on the stronger tunes on
the album such as Excuses, and, hey, she looks pretty. Arguably the best track on the album is the title track featuring the angry poetic vocals of Slam star Saul Williams, and the raving massive will already be familiar with the dancefloor smash Tribute. Yet despite the plethora of sounds which Krust has on offer, Coded Language is an album which leaves Krust's regular clientele largely disappointed. If it's Warhead you're after, then save yourself fifteen quid and leave it on the shelf.
Other new releases out this week...
House
VARIOUS mixed by JUDGE JULES; Clubber's Guide To 2000 incl. Mario Piu, Space Brothers, Dave Aude, Spoiled & Zigo, etc. (Ministry Of Sound)
Techno
VARIOUS: DJAX Records: The Power Of The Underground
(90 page book & unmixed CD album Incl. Terrace, Robert Armani, DJ Skull, etc.
Trance
VARIOUS: New Trance incl. edits of Tilt, Mea Culpa, Energy 52, Salt Tank,
etc. (Smart)
Breakbeat, Funk & Hip Hop
VARIOUS: Funk Spectrum 2
compiled by Kenny Dope & Keb Darge.
Downtempo/Leftfield
VARIOUS: Hi-Fideiity Lounge Volume 1 incl. Atjazz,
Thievery Corporation,
Extended Spirit.
London Underground
.please stand clear of the vomit-stained floors
Tuesday L.U.S.T
R'n'B flavas with Da Firin' Squad, Fitzroy Da Buzzboy, Soulforce, amongst other guests. @ WKD, 18 Kentish Town Road, Camden, NW1
9pm-2am, £3
Wednesday
Swerve
Fabio and guests lay down the law with the latest drum and bass toons @ The Velvet Rooms, 143 Charing Cross Road, WC2H
9pm-2.30, £6, £5 concs b4 11 The Loft
Paul 'Trouble' Anderson and Jeremy Newall play vocal house and disco.
@ Hqs, West Yard, Camden Lock Place, Camden Lock NW1 9pm-2, £5, concs £4
Thursday
Movement
Drum'n'bass with resident Bryan Gee and guests on rotation.
©Bar Rumba, 36 Shaftesbury Avenue, Soho W1V
9pm-3.30, £6, NUS £5, £3 b4 10.
Friday
Super Sexy
Conti, Kenny Palmer, Piero Peace and friends play the best in uplifting and progressive house.
This Friday 28th, @ The Glasshouse, The Mermaid Theatre, Puddle Dock, Blackfriars, EC4
IOpm-4,30, £8-£12 Independence
US house and disco in conjuction with Kiss FM and homeless charity Centrepoint. Hanover Grand, 6 Hanover St., W1 10pm-4am, £5 b4 11, more after
Saturday
Derrick Carter, Tom Middleton, Craig Richards, Terry Francis and more at the newly refurbished Fabric (what, already?) Fabric, 77a Charterhouse St., London EC1M 9pm-7am, £12
Sunday

Metalheadz
Goldie and the crew get their 12 inches out @ Dingwalls, Camden Lock £5 b4 9pm, £7 after
If would you like to review the latest underground tunes, check out London's top clubs, interview top DJs and producers plus loads more in Bart's wonderful clubbing pages, then get yourself down to C023 betow the Tuns on Mondays at 6p; and speak to Jo- don't miss out!

STYLE
SPEC-TACUUR: THE AAANY FACES OF LSE
Mark 'Judge iulesy' Campbell
HARPERS.
Kate 'gotta have them' Oliver
Armani



Maged
HIERO
magic specs' Latif
Jeannie 'la tres belle chic' Gu DOLLAND a AITCHISON
Tola Soleye expounds on a 12 year habit
Gone are the days when myopia banished one to a life of purgatory with Deirdre Barlow type specs and bottle thick lenses. As much as I hate to admit it, the likes of Chris Evans turned the spectacle-wearing world on its ear with the emergence of chunky black nerdy glasses. 'NHS chic' or 'geek chic' was born. This look coincided with the return to androgyny and anyone who's anyone was seen looking over the tops of their glasses in the way teachers of old have always done.
The Appleton sisters and Mel B/G/B ensured that glasses made the transition from cool to sexy. They disproved the maxim that 'Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
This also meant that no one had the excuse to have unsightly birdcages parked on their noses. Nice glasses can be found with the same effort as awful ones. Opticians have latched onto the cachet afforded them by
celebrities and virtually all shops, from the budget stores to the more expensive boutiques stock trendy, good looking frames giving no one an excuse to have awful ones.
In cataloguing the travails of spectacle wearers, the style writers decided to look closer to home. This resulted in our prowling Houghton street hunting for gorgeous people and equally gorgeous glasses. Cue madcap antics with Shailini and Neha being very 'Vogue' and directing photoshoots against tres artistic backdrops. This was an extremely unpleasant task (NOT!)
We had a lot of fun with this and will be continuing the series: hats, shoes and people, so stay well dressed and keep your eyes peeled for two girls with a camera
Styling: Shailini Ghelani
Photos: Neha Unia
Petrekis ' what a sweetie' Themis CUTLER a GROSS
Reema 'pash for fash' Hyder
ARMANI
Stephane 'what a babe'Rieppi
VERSUS by VERSACE
Rachna Uppal and Tola Soleye
The festive period has come to an official close and as always, has been heralded by the eagerly awaited January sales. This is the time when one begins to feel a sense of nostalgia and concoct in one's mind an idealistic image of targe, sparsely occupied stores complete with the best in customer service, a cheery greeting at the door and a personal shopper helping you every step of the way in your quest for the perfect skirt, suit or trousers alt at a 'bargain' sale price.
If you do manage to find such an oasis, please do let the style writers know. From personal experience, shopping in the January sales involves crowded, hot, smelly
shops with disappointing reductions that completely contradicts the huge red sales signs outside. Add to that endless queuing for changing rooms, never finding what you want in your size and feeling like an elephant for the rest of the day because all that's left is for munchkin-sized individuals who have no business in adult size shops anyway!
In particular, at places like French Connection which most students can't really afford during the year but currently, a superbly tailored pair of black trousers which would normaUy set you back £70 will now be snapped up for £40. In the current job- hunting climate, bargain hunters should check out shops like Mango and Zara, which stock gorgeous clothes for all occasions at reasonable prices. With a sale on, it's even better but the trouble
with this period is that what you see is what you get so everything is being snapped so hurry on down there!
Finally here are some tips for the ultimate in sale savvy:
DON'T BUY
Pashminas- no matter how cheap they are, they are so over, Marks and Spencer stocks them now. Need t say anymore?
Cowpn'nt pony skin- if you didn't buy it 3 months ago, there's really no point in doing so now. A look at the 99/00 shows will show you this quite clearly!
Anything you plan to slim your way into, tt never works; if you really think you're going to lose weight, it'll be so much more fun being able to fit into it at the time of purchase.
DO BUY
Stripy scarves a la Dr. Who are very now, also classic things that you'll always wear; jumpers, white t-shirts, jeans, shoes and trainers. It's also a really good time to check out shops that you normally can't afford. Bargains are often to be found nestling away. You just have to go in the right frame of mind and on a weekday morning for the least possible hassle. Have a look at mock-snake skin if you are determined to spot the next trend. If you can't be bothered to keep up with trends, try getting a timeless look-rock chick, boho chic or even scruffy student which never dates. Whatever you do, have a laugh and save loads of money!
Happy Shopping!

THEATRE
GUILTY BY SILENCE?
James Savage takes us through the intricate issues behind the dranfia society's
latest production of The Representatives.
How many divisions has the Pope"? Stalin once remarked. "A number of legions not always visible on parade" was Churchill's reply. Rolf Hochhuth's controversial - some would say notorious - play The Representative (1963), to be staged this week by the LSE drama society, levels the accusation that the wartime Pope failed to mobilise these legions in protest at the Nazi Holocaust of the Jews. Hochhuth's powerful and provocative piece continues to stir passionate debate, particularly in the light of the recent publication of secret wartime archives from the Vatican which has reopened old wounds that never quite healed.
Hochhuth's play relentlessly drives home the point that Pope Pius XN's policy of neutrality and his adherence to the Concordat with Nazi Germany which theoretically respected the Church's property and prerogatives led him to maintain a significant silence on the so-called "resettlements" of Jews in Nazi-occupied Europe at a time when he had been made fully aware of the true nature of these resettlements by reliable accounts from many sources, including Catholic nuncios in the occupied countries.
Had the Pope made an unequivocal statement on the unfolding Holocaust, the argument goes, his moral and spiritual authority would have vouched for the truth for what could otherwise easily be dismissed as enemy propaganda in occupied Europe. Adherence to "neutrality" and to a Concordat which had been routinely violated by the Nazis since the first ink had set on it in 1933 prevented



mm
Pius from fulfilling his moral duty to condemn and to encourage his bishops to tell their flocks about the truth of the Final Solution. For Hochhuth, neutrality and moral responsibility present stark choices, and the author leaves us in doubt which course of action he considers the more noble.
Hochhuth's critics argue that the "do something" school is highly naVve given the circumstances. In February 1942, Catholic leaders in Holland prepared a letter condemning the deportations and read it from the pulpit despite threats from the Nazis. As a result, the Gestapo swept through Catholic convents and rooted out Jews who had converted to Christianity - something they had not done before. Other similar incidents support the view that a public protest from the Pope
would have only intensified Nazi persecution. The charge that this is a convenient get-out clause ignores the important fact that, in the Roman Catholic hierarchy, the kind of pastoral leadership necessary to give the cue to anti-Nazi resistance rests with local bishops, not with the Pope. Those who did defy Nazi .orders and courted certain death put themselves through an ordeal which, it is argued, the Pope could not demand from Rome.
Had the Pope reversed this hierarchy by giving the lead (as the character of Riccardo in the play begs him to do), his secular power, which extended to a few hundred people in the Vatican, would not have put him in any practically viable position to confront the huge military and political machine of a totalitarian
state now occupying half of Europe. The notion that his spiritual power - what Churchill called his "Invisible legions" -could somehow have been spontaneously translated into political and military resistance by Catholics in the face of the Nazi state apparatus is held to be grossly naive by Hochhuth's critics. They furthermore point to his efforts to help undercover, to the fact that leaders of Jewish communities in Hungary, Italy, Romania, the US and Israel (including Golda Meir herself) thanked, the Vatican for its help after the war, and deplore that, as a result of Hochhuth's play, the fact that Pius did not explicitly condemn the Holocaust is all that seems to matter in the current debate.
The Representative owes
NO NOSE IS GOOD NOSE
Kripali Manek sniffs out the edge of the fringe
Looking for a truly original theatre experience? The Stampede Company presents an adaptation of Nikolai Gogol's story, The Nose' at the Etcetera Theatre Club. It portrays a man experiencing the horrors of a bad dream in which he finds himself with a missing nose. In his search for the lost sense organ we are taken through the corridors of dream and reality In a surreal series of events during which it is difficult to determine which Is pervading.
The Russian writer Initially Intended the title of his work to be 'Son' which is Russian for 'Dream'. But in the.final version this was . changed to read backwards as 'Nos' (Nose). To emphasise the title, the actors wear large rubber noses and along with few other props, they produce comic mayhem with both mime and original sound effects. Ticking clocks.
wiping windows and water droplets are among many sounds which are vlvdly reproduced.
What at first seems simply bizarre becomes quite amazing as the talents of the company of four shine through. The show provides excellent entertainment,
but note that while it is comical,
there are subtle undertones of sadness as we see the significance
of the runaway nose and the hero's struggle for his own identity.
The theatre in which the play Is presented is small and the audience is able to feel the closeness of the actors. It will be a very unique evening to remember.
January 11th - 30th Tickets £6.50, £4.50 conc.
The Etcetera Theatre Club
at The Oxford Arms 265 Camden High Street London NW1 Box Office 0171 482 4857
something to the Brechtian Lehrstueck or "didactic play" and, like Brecht, Hochhuth leaves the audience in no doubt as to which side of the argument his sympathies rest with. However, it would be wrong to dismiss the piece as mere propaganda, for the characters are far from one-dimensional and the author allows both sides to state their case with pathos and conviction, in a muscular, declamatory style which is sure to arouse and draw in the audience.
The Representative is on in the Quad on the 24th, 25th and 27th January in the Quad.
Tickets will be on sale at lunchtimes all week in Houghton street and on the door.
MIME YOUR LANGUAGE
|"^or all of you who consider I* mime to be some bloke with I a white face strug^ljfr^ t|! find his way out of a box, now is the time to sort out your misinformed minds.
The London Internationat Mime Festival is well underway with some real treats for you mime lovers out there.
Amazing masks and puppetry at the }CA, action packed physical antics in the Circus Space and your own personal viewing of Stan's Cafe (180 seconds long) at Canary Wharf, they'll be something for you all
Happening at a variety of venues around London untili January 30.	i
<jcE to www,mimefest.co.uk details
A
TheBeaver
^p0Q-|-yp02	Issue 512-January 24th 2003/
^¦—i
TERRORISTS OR FREEDOM i=IGHTERS?
Neelam Verjee faces the facts on terrorism
The hijacking of the Air India flight 844 last month was a primary example of what the Western media call 'the new terrorist scourge.' A group of armed men, commandeering an airline and holding up its passengers and crew in order to gain their own ends. The ultimatum: if the government of India fail to comply with the demands issued, then harm would befall the innocent and unfortunate civilians on the aircarft. One passenger was in fact killed. Stabbed, because he disobeyed an order not to look at the faces of his captives.
The Indian government made the decision to release, as demanded, a Pakistani, Muslim cleric and two militants (one who is an ex-LSE student) and allowed the hijackers and the former prisoners to cross the border into Pakistan unhindered. The government of Pakistan has consequently denied any involvement in the actions of the hijackers.
Terrorism is definable as the 'unlawful use of force or violence against persons or property to intimidate or coerce a government, the civilian population, or any
Terrorist members of the KLA in the training camp In the village of Tropoja in Albania
Picture - Archives
segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives'. It is the process of generating fear via acts of terror.
Fear is not the ends of the terrorists, but a means to attaining their ultimate goal and in the processes consumes all concerned with fear. Terrorists such as Mich Ramirez Sanchez, or, as he is better know, 'Carlos the Jackal', who in the 70's read Social Policy and Administration at the LSE, have carved out a mould for the modern-day desperado. Among the more infamous of his breed, he was arrested in Sudan in 1994 and sentenced to life imprisonment in France.
As Alex. P. Scmid deduced, 'terrorism is an abstract concept with no essence'. The fighting in the Kargil sector of Indian-controlled Kashmir between Indian troops and Pakistani 'infiltrators', see the infiltrators being called by some, 'freedom fighters'. This raises the pertinent question as to the difference between a terrorist and a freedom fighter.
There are three reasons why these infiltrators are not entitled to the heroic and grandiose title of 'freedom fighters'. Firstly, they are functioning in flagrant violation of international law, utilising aggression rather than working in defence of the legitimate political order. The clandestine crossing of the 'Line of Control' (LOC) cannot be regarded as an act of liberation to secure fundamental individual and collective human rights	in
'occupied' Kashmir. This isn't to say that the Indian troops in turn are untainted by human rights violations or other atrocities against the infiltrators; although they do have	the
advantage of operating in what is	legally



Richard Holbrook and a member of the KLA in the village ofJunik
recognized as Indian territory.
Secondly, freedom fighters theoretically use selective forms of violence within a framework of laws on armed conflict and only after all political and legal attempts on national and international levels have been exhausted. Conversely, terrorists are known for their indiscernible and unrestrained psychological and physical violence via extra-legal means, such as intimidation, coercion, repression and destruction.
Lastly, the mixed para-military nature of the infiltrator personnel consisting of Kashmiri militants, Afghan and British mercenaries as well as a loose network of international terrorists, means there exists a regional and global, formal and informal infrastructure of various Kashmiri 'home-grown' and foreign mercenaries. This quasi-organization contains within it different levels of collaboration, including financial support, training, the supply of narcotics and combat material, the forging of documents and the provision of safe houses.
Terrorism brings with it evils such as drug smuggling, which is used to finance, among other
projects, 'terrorist training camps', for example those in Northern Albania, Lebanon, Afghanistan and Sudan. Recent accusations levelled against the Albanians label them as the 'terrorists of the Balkans', and report mercenary operation in neighbouring Kosovo and Metohija and 'when the mercenaries left, there was no sign of either human or animal life left.' The report continues to suggest this may be in order to create ethnically pure territories.
'Unconventional terrorism' is a growing threat in an age of the existence of technology of mass destruction, increasing access to information and the centralization of infrastructure.
Nuclear, chemical and biological terrorism constitute this type of terrorism - the subway incident in Japan in 1995, whereby the Supreme Truth cult were responsible for pumping Sarin gas through the subway systems in Tokyo and Yokohama, killing several and injuring many, is an example of chemical terrorism. As opposed to nuclear terrorism, chemical compounds are more readily available and easily transported. They also have the
Picture - Archives
benefit of being colourless and odourless and so difficult to detect. The last type of unconventional terrorism is of a biological sort. Agents such as anthrax are manufactured without too much difficulty. Their effects are not felt immediately, but hours, or even' days later.
However, as Ronald Reagan once said, in relation to Nicaragua's contras, 'one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter' and as Alex Scmid concluded after searching deep and hard, 'the meaning of terrorism derives from the victim of target.'
"terrorism is an abstract concept with no essence."


Where Its at and where its always heen.
'¦ .. I..	- -------------------	. — I. .1.1 ¦ - IP
present
Tony Wright IIII.P
Aimorot boolffi on the Labour Pariv and socialism.
Widely acknowledged as a top constitutional expert.
Tuesday 25"' January 5pm A42
Building on the foundations of LSE In an exciting new stage of political sc academic progress
beaver \Bea"ver\, n. [OE. bever, AS. beofer, befer; also as an adj., brown, the animal being probably named from its colour. ]
1.	(Zo["o]L) An amphibious rodent, of the genus Castor. It is remarkable for its ingenuity in construction, valued for its fur, and for the material called castor, obtained from two small bags in the groin of the animal.
2.	The fur of the beaver.
3.	A hat, formerly made of the fur of the beaver, but now usually of silk.
4.	Beaver cloth, a heavy felted woolen cloth, used chiefly for making overcoats.
5.	vulg. Female genitalia
6.	The Newspaper of the London School of Economics Students' Union.
You know which is the most important. Us, not the Castor oil from the Beaver's nads. So if you want to get involved, to write news stories, sports reports or to get your hands on the vast piles of freebies we're currently sitting on (and write reviews, please), come down to C023 (just below the Tuns) and say hello.Be there or be building a dam or something.
HALF PRICE SUPPER!!
From now until the end of January in tlie Brunch Bowl
Treat a friend or just you! Take-away available
Discount applies to the iwiced dish. See 'Special Dishes of the Day' menus for special offer dishes.
The Brun6h Bowl Supper Service offers a choice of hot dishes, salads, snacks and beverages from Monday to Friday
betvi^en 4pm and 7pm.
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ilnternational
TfteBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 21
EAST MEETS
EAST
Gabrielle Menezes and Claire Pryde are sceptical about the change of power in Russia



So what, Yeltsin's resigned, but hasn't he been dead for the last four years anyway? How many times has he made a buffoon of himself in front of the whole international community-trying to conduct an orchestra, or singing along with Clinton-maybe this is where East and West meet in musical abilities. IVIaybe he'll consider a career in performing arts now.
Will anyone be sad to see Yeltsin go? The stock market celebrated with all time highs immediately after he resigned. The speech revealed some sides of Yeltsin's character which are endearing or, for those of us wicked enough, amusing. First the drama queen, it's no wonder that
Russia's insignia is the Bear- a performing bear- announcing " Today, on the last day of the outgoing century, I am retiring.." Talk about choosing your moment. But, for Russia, how much of a start is this new millennium? "Russia must enter the new millennium with new politicians, new faces, new intelligent strong and energetic people. As for those of us who have been in power for many years we must go."
Definitely the moribund Yeltsin has gone, but many of the old regime are still stagnating in Russian politics. As one Russian friend commented " We're just altenating between a bald headed guy and a haired guy-it's a pattern in Russian politics." On the
THE HANDOVER
Yelstin (left) steps down to make way for Putin (right)
surface it seems as though Putin has appointed and promoted an entirely "new" crew, in reality as many old Kremlin insiders have remained in place. Dismissing Yeltsin's daughter was a symbolic act, to convince the public of departure from nepotism and corruption but it remains to be seen how much change will occur once elections have taken place on March 26th.
Putin is banking on winning the elections based on the Russians' support for the war in Chechnya, but the support for the war is waning . However, is Russian politics so medieval that a war is necessary to unite the national conscience. Do you think "Wag the Dog" is his favourite film? For a country that is in economic difficulties, to wage an expensive war may not be the smartest thing, don't you think? But according to Russia, nearly 7 thousand Chechnyans have died and it won't be long jjntil they win the war. On the other hand, Chechnya claims that only 400 Chechnyans have died and Russia will never win the war. What does this say about freedom of information, never mind about misinforming the press! When Russians wake up to this whole illusion, what will Putin rest his support on then??.

By all accounts this will signal a real change for Russia. This will be the first democratic elections where the communists have not been in the majority, paving the way for a more centred policy making. This, of course, will have
repercussions on the relationship with the West, most notably America. Heralding the new Vladimir Vladimirich Putin and Bill relationship for the year 2000.
"Just alternating between a bald headed guy and a haired guy - it's a pattern in Russian politics"
NEW YEAR IN LEBANON
; Continued
Many did and were trained and armed by non-other than the US Army and the Special Forces as well as the military experts of many other nations in camps in Pakistan. The experts trained them in handling explosives, sabotage, and guerrilla warfare. For more about this massive recruiting effort of young Muslims from all over the world by the joint effort of America and Saudi Arabia see Unholy ^Wars. written by ABC News's John
Cooley, 1999.
The flame of fanaticisnn did not fade as after the Afghan war th^ese trained fighters returned to their home countries from the Philippines to Morocco and beyond. Many of them turned against their Western allies and benefactors who, had given the Soviets 'their Vietnam.' As in the prime case of Usama Bin Laden, the CIA's best friend and backer in their war effort against the Soviets - something we tend to forget as he is now labelled public enemy number one in the USA. What the Americans failed to rationalise is what would happen to ail these well-trained and armed fighters
after the war ended.
Conclusion?
How important the after-effects are, I will leave for the sober judgement of the experts. It is sufficient to mention the extremely brutal and on-going activities of the GIA (Groupe Armee Islamtque) in Algeria that we hear about almost weekly, the bombing of the World Trade Center a few years ago (Sheikh Abd el-Rahman was the one responsible for this, another one of Ameirica's best friends who rendered his services during the Afghan Wars. Why else was he given refuge in the US after the
war arid welcomed to the US? In fact, tike others, he turned against the Arriericans when the war ended and gave them a grand shock), and the recent efforts to de-stabilise Lebanon. While this may not be the sole source of where this fanaticism has come from it is definitely worth considering. In fact, many believe that we have not yet started feeling the full impact of the post-Afghan war.
Security Services after the confrontation in the mountains confirmed that one of the : extremists killed was a Syrian vyho Had received training in Afghanistan. All major Muslim
authorities in Lebanon strongly donouriefed theiactivities of the fundamentalists, including a statement from the 'Council of Muftis' the highest Sunni authority. The events left the Lebanese in tears of sorrow and all this amid the joy of the New Year. The struggles that Lebanon has had in the past were carried into the New Year and this shows that with all the efforts of coming to terms with the past and rebuilding a fractured country, Lebanon still has a long way to go. A long way to achieve a true national consensus and to have a leadership with puye motives.
I
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We are looking for interns for the following divisions: Investment Banking, Information Technology, Equity Research, Operations, Equity Financing Services and Investment Management Operations. We are interested in receiving applications from; students in either their, penultimate year or with two' years still remaining; sandwich course students for one year placements in Equity Research; Masters students available between June and September for Information Technology.
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lUnion
TheBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24fh 2000 23
GEN SEC'S COLUMN
I n memory of John Oevanand Cropper, an LSE student who-tragically died suddenly in March 1998, the Union offers an annual Award in recognition of outstanding contribution to the student community at LSE.
Kindly funded John and Angela Cropper, Dev's parents, the Award is worth £250 a month.
Dev was an extremely lively figure in the student community at LSE. We was a member of the Executive, campaigned against racism and even wrote for this very newspaper and indeed that is how I met him. Outside the School he was
QUIZ NITE
Every Tuesday
£50
be there, or be poor
NOTICEBOARD
Mature Students Forum Fridays Meet Beaver's Retreat 12.30-2 pm All Welcome
Third-year Social Policy undergraduate would like to interview students with physical disabilities for dissertation, which concerns the adequacy of financial assistance in Further Education. For more information contact
LM.Reehill @ lse.ac.uk.
an active member of the GMB trades union and he worked as a volunteer for the charity. Action Against Hunger. In recognition of his service to LSE Students' Union he was-awarded Honorary Student ' status, just a week before his death.
The Award is designed to recognise in others just the sort of activities seen in Dev. This year's Awardee is Brendan Cox, given the Award primarily in recognition of his charity work in Britain and the former Yugoslavia. Next year's Awardee will be selected later on this term.
But now is the time to act if you think you know somebody who may deserve the honour. The panel's criteria includes participation in cultural, education and society based activity, as welt as political or charitable actiyity which provides
benefit to others. The period considered is the student's first five terms at LSE. Any student may be nominated for the Award, but they must going into their final year of study next year. Look out for more details soon.
The Union is indebted not only to Oev, but also his family. The Award is a fitting tribute to the irreplaceable contribution Dev made to the LSE community.
The UGM, as it tends to do from time to time, suddenly erupted into unexpected excitement last week. Featuring the first ever 'division' of the floor in my four years here - basically, if after 2 recounts a vote is too close,- the supporters and opponents of a motion have to get up out of their
seats and stand on different sides of the room.
Even more curious though - all this was over a motion on compensation for students who live in Holborn in light of the absence of hot water for a week and in Sutlers in light of the absence of quiet following a new building project which starts at Sam six days a week and goes on until 10pm on some nights too.
Quite how this motion ended up falling is a bit of mystery. There was an amendment which confused things, there were several recounts which also confused things. But the real answer is probably that those people not living in these blighted halls felt that any cash payout this year may mean higher rents next year.
In a sense this is right if we take
compensation out of th§ same (Inter-halls) budget as the rents budget. However, it is totally wrong that students (this year or next year or whenever) should have to pay for other people's cock-ups. Is it s coincidence that all 3 Holborn boilers blew at once, or is there a long time maintenance issue here? Why didn't someone try and block such continuous noise next to Butlers Wharf - how are students supposed to study with constant construction?
No, if somebody other than students are to blame for tnese problems, somebody other than students should pay.
Joriathon Black

LSE
students union










1 i i sC! Iw. t ®

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iBeaversports
T/7eBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2006 2
UC SINK SWINGERS
NETBALL UCL 3rd LSE 2nd
Knowles tells all about the goals
It had been a while since the Swingers had graced the netballing scene since Saturday's pansy opposition tottered over from Tooting, decjarea'our courts too damp or something like that, and then went home taking the prize of a place in the next round of BUSA with them. Good luck in Cheltenham girls, is all I can say - it's not like you're going to be sitting on a coach for eleven hours just to get whupped or anything.
On the subject of coaches, why is it that UCL play so far out of London anyway? Their ground in Shenley is so far up north we had players with nosebleeds from the altitude. And so it was that a Swingers side, consisting of two hangovers, one sick bird and a few feeling the effects of one too many mince pies, sat on a coach for a for hours, just to get whupped. Still, at least It wasn't in Cheltenham. Wednesday's game did bring some cheer however as we can officially confirm that Ruth's hand Is now back to full fitness after a lengthy absence from action due to a broken flnger(nail) -1 know that I've cracked that gag before and it's no funnier now than It was then, but the game was dull and didn't
inspire comic genius.
To say that we got off to a slow start is like calling the river of fire "a bit of a let down". We were barely conscious for the first quarter, crescendo at a snail's pace half way through and tailed off back into obscurity towards the end. There w-as just no get up and go and even Knowlesey's volleys of cliche-ridden chat couldn't convince anyone to get up and go anywhere. We fell behind 10-4 In the first quarter and never recovered. The umpire was kind enough to point out that we won the third quarter and were evenly matched in the fourth but these words rang hollow from a woman who was so biased she could have reffed for Man United. I could say more about her, but that would be rude. No, sod it, the referee was a wanker, or a wankeress, or whatever you call the female equivalent (I'm sure Oscar's vocabulary could shed light on this matter - something to do with civil war according to Billy, but I
digress.....). Paula was elbowed
so hard in the back that her opponent's arm got stuck in Paula's shoulder blades but a penalty pass was about as likely as.....well, two women sucking on
Matt Snot's face for example.
The match ended with a respectable 32-23 scorellne and a special mention goes to 7up Sam -voted by UCL on the scorecard as our MVP (Most Valued Player to the uninitiated - I thought It must have something to do with Visible Panty Line, but there you go, you live and learn.) Monday night sees a trip to Surrey to face Royal Holloway - Monday night and It's in Surrey - now there's commitment for you, whilst we have the arduous trek to Lincoln's Inn on Wednesday. Spectators are welcome and Hannah Pearson promises to be back from Injury and going hell for leather - that should pack a few more down the sidelines.
To say that we got off to a slow start is like calling the river of fire "a bit of a let down".
mmsmws
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¦Beaversports
f/jeBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 26
REVOLUTION OF THE CONSTITUTION
Fat Bob unveils plans to take the Athletic Union storming into the 21st century...
Wilkommen back to the glamorous world of LSE Sport, I trust that you all had a productive few weeks on fitness training and healthy eating in anticipation of a committed and ""successful assault on the BUSA knock-out cups. Traditionally, its the sudden-death competitions in which the LSE excels, due to our limited resources and 'fighting quality' that, like Tyson, we get from living in the eternal slum that is the Tuns. In all seriousness kiddies, remember, if you go out early then all you've got to look forward to are a term of meaningless friendlles, so take it seriously and take on the big shots.
Just a couple of announcements. We in the Exec, are proposing a couple of alterations to the AU Constitution, and we need to make potential members of the AU aware of this. Firstly, In past years there have 'been a number of altercations and debates over who should get AU colours and half-colours at the end of the year. This has been because of the brief and ambiguous way in which they are currently described in the Constitution.. As a result, we have drafted a proposed amendment that clarifies the conditions under which colours can be awarded, and also makes the award of 'Club Colours' officially recognised by the AU.
Secondly, we want to re-define the roles of the elected members of the AU Exec. At the moment, there is too much responsibility placed on the shoulders of the President and Treasurer, and the




!r
roles of the Assistant positions do not provide those people with a guide or mandate over the jobs they should be doing. Therefore, the positions of Assistant President, Assistant Treasurer and Assistant Gen". Sec. will be replaced by Club Liaison Officer, AU Ents Officer, and AU
Communications Officer. Constitutional details of this change are going to be posted by Amar a.s.a.p. and in order to put it forward to the Constitutional and Steering Committee, we need to pass it with a simple majority at an informal AGM, with a quorum of at least 40 members. This will be
done on Wednesday 26th Jan, in the Tuns about 8:00pm. That means loads of us will be there and I can use Karaoke Man's microphone to run the meeting. Any questions or points are welcome.
Finally, we are looking at the possibility of having a swanky
'Colours Ball' at a venue near here during week 9. Invitations will primarily be to those who earn their colours, plus a few lucky guests. Watch this space for further news...
FIGHTING WORDS FROM THE FIRSTS
Continued from Back Page
For those unfamiliar with the rules of the game, (viz. Matt 'you're going off on a stretcher' Stoate) attacking someone's knee-caps in the large rectangle surrounding the three white sticks usually results in a penalty. After the man in black realised his gross cock-up, Sutton stepped up to take the spot kick. Unfortunately, the ginger marvel went for power over placement and clouted it high and wide. Groundsman Brian was enraged to ^ learn that his ball was currently orbiting the planet Jupiter and nobody had tried to get it back.
It doesn't take Einstein to work out this defeat has not helped the struggle for survival. In an exclusive interview with the Beaver, Skipper Wright acknowledged the fierce pressure in the premier division; "The fact that there's now an extra team in there
means a good side will go down this year." he noted. With six games to go, relegation rivals, UCL could be the last fixture of the season. In preparation for this, the rude boy has contacted some of his old school posse members: midfield maestro Nadar et al, have started training with the team on Monday nights. This epitomises the fighting spirit that separates LSE football from the rest of the mob. (hurrah!!)
Contrary to the forturies of the first's, the third team are sitting pretty at the top of their league. This makes for an intriguing scenario: if the first's go down and the fella's third team achieve promotion, the top three LSE Xl's would be in the same division. With no love lost between any of these sides, the stage is set for all out Armageddon. Ladies and gentlemen, take your seats for the main event....




in the words of Yazz - the only way is up


eBeaversports
TheBeaver
Issue 512 - January 24th 2000 27
STOATE'S SEVENTH HEAVEN AS SILKY SKILLS PREVAIL
FOOTBALL
QMWSrd
LSE4th
Epstein admits his impotence in front of goal
The fourth team revived their flagging promotion campaign with a thorough thrashing of third place outfit QMWank to set them up for a mouth-watering clash with top of the table Kings on Wednesday. The first half saw LSE five goals up to the good with superb, flowing, fluid football which has become their trademark throughout this season, on this occasion no doubt helped by the absence of that midfield clown Ronnie t^ac Paxton, who was taking time out from his WankTank™ to spend some quality time on the lovely beaches at Sunderland. The game also saw Wogan break his barren streak which has extended since he began hosting the Eurovision Song Content. The journeyman striker, all hustle and bustle as usual, drew first blood after five minutes with a hysterically excecuted shot on the
turn which decieved the keeper into diving the wrong way. His second, soon after, was a calm, assured clinical finish from a Tommy C cross. By this time, the LSE quartet in the midfield was in full flow. Forget Platini and his pals, the running of Rabu and Ross, the tackling and quiet Efficiency once again of the excellent Alfie and the passing ability and forward support of the t\/larlboro Man (i.e. goalhanging) must surely serve as an example of textbook teamwork to the up and coming younger generation of footballers. And it was the lad Epstein who spanked a penalty past the keeper after Tommy had been hauled down in the box to give the lads a commanding three goal advantage. The best was still to come from the little man. Collecting a pass from the creative
Lightning strikes twice:
Epstein is incarcerated ag^n as the Hoiborn reception door's bigger br(xt]|er exacts revenge
Stoate claims that he had a cold but the real reason for his pisspoor performance was his granny shagging activities
FOURTHS CRASH AND
BURN IN HEATHROW HORROR
FOOTBALL 1 IC3rd-7 LSE4tii
Stoatie slags his side off.
Elvis, he turned the centreback inside out before despatching a left footed drive into the bottom corner. Tommy C added a fifth before Epstein, missing his midfield sidekick Paxton, attemped to emulate Will as the Clown Prince of LSE football by missing two simple tap ins and generally playing like 'a big steaming pile of horsepiss''^". The second half saw a more relaxed approach. Orson Wells decided it was time to go walkabout and leave Stoate on his own to transform from Gobshite to Dogshite at the back. Stoate claims that he had a cold but the real reason for his pisspoor performance was his grannyshagging activities. I say no more. I'm sure Heather is a lovely woman, and that your girlfriend doesn't mind. Still, with the ever reliable Milko at the back, and with Karly again showing off his great footballing technique, the lads were never in serious danger of letting this one slip away. The Antti Christ was called on twice to make good stops, but the advantage was soon extended through another Tommy C goal and a Chris Irwin tap in, leaving the fourths back in the promotion hunt.
Matt Stoate reports
LSE entered this game knowing a win here would see them go second in the table, however were left ruing missed chances come the final whistle.
With Si Wells not seeming to understand the word commitment, the matador that answers to the name Wogan was given a week off fucking things up in attack to be moved to where he could potentially do less damage at centre-back (like that'll ever get printed, huh. Sports ed.?). And how wrong we were. The first IC through-ball of the game, and a loud "Wogan's ball" resonated around the pitch. A well cultivated stomach was thrust out, but by some miracle of science a hole seemed to appear in that famous Wogan gut, allowing an IC fon/vard in who gave Antti no chance in a one-on-one.
Try as they might, LSE failed to break down a resolute IC defence. Epstein, with a clear shot on goal, somehow managed to scoop the ball over the IC crossbar, which was looming large over him. "Sorry, lads that's how Niall Quinn does it" was the only excuse he could muster. LSE were crying out for some creative genius, they needed a delicious 40 yard cross-field ball to dissect a massed IC defence. There was only one man who could provide such a crafted pass, but false modesty prevents me from revealing the identity of this skilled football Adonis, for fear of having him poached by Manchester United. With IC stunned by the quality of the assist, Tommy C. was left with a simple tap-in.
However, in the second half it all went wrong. As usual a great chance fell to the feet of Ronald MacDonald, but with his Think Tank training, he started to think long and hard about all the different options of how he could put this white, round object into that net right in front of him. As Paxton reached the Committee stage of his thought process, the IC defence played the ball, ran up to the other end and scored. Even a late, desperate ploy of launching Wogan up front in a desperate attempt to galvanise an equaliser failed as IC time wasted the last 20 minutes away. In short (no joke, Mike Marlboro Man: who says smoking stunts your growth???), it was not to be, but all the blame for the defeat must be ascribed to 3rd team ringer Mr. Chris Calamity Barnes. Why, I hear you ask? Well, I'm at the end of the report now and haven't taken the piss yet. He expects it, see.
Beaver
WE WILL FIGHT
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FIGHTING WORDS FROM THE FIRSTS




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Troubled times have hit Houghton Street. Following the exodus of several key players including super Kev Sharpe, Gooders and..er... IGuiness last year, the first eleven have less points Ithan Norway in the 1980 Eurovision Song Contest. jClub captain Mandy, head of the cosa nostra that Is Ithe LSE football club, knew this season was going to jbe a battle: "Personally, I blame last season's players Ifor getting us into this mess. If they were truly Icommitted, they'd have failed last year for the sake of Ithe football team." proclaimed the guru of gob. Last [Saturday saw the lads clash with the bods from Jimperial College. Unfortunately, fuelled by sexual jfrustration, due to the lack of totty at IC, the loppositlon were 'well up for It'. Wright's army were Ion the receiving end of a beating of Geoff Boycott Iproportions. "I've not taken a spanking like that since Ivisiting 'Filthy Fiona's house of love' in downtown lAmsterdam" commented Don Mandraker after the 9-13 defeat. Captain 'Rude boy' Wright was forced to luse all sorts of gang warfare tactics to fire his team lup and do the business against art animals iGoldsmiths on Wednesday. 'Promoted' Pete Callis, Idefensive king pin for the. seconds, was drafted into Ithe side to stem the flow of goals. The team [displayed much promise throughout the game; Andy
Martin's non-stop running made the Duracell bunnyl look like Jimmy Saville. Fellow midfielder, Kylel 'Shaggy' Breegan was bombastic in domination ofl the air, the like of which has not been seen in the! skies over Berrylands since the Battle of Britain.I Angry Rob Allen and the irrepressible Mandy showed! more dedication than Roy Castle, the sort of stuffi needed for the oncoming relegation dogfight. Thel attack was lead by baby face Dean Taylor and! 'Strlngfellow' Sutton. Alas, lady luck displayed herl slag tendencies by flirting with the opposition! throughout the game. She played a large part in the| two goals the nonce's from New Cross managed to bang in. The ref was dodgier than a 23 pound note; this became obvious when he threw out the F.A.
handbook and decided to award a direct free-kick inside the area.
Continued P26







Alas, lady lucki displayed hen sluttish tendencies by\ flirting with the opposition throughout\ the game.



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