rm N SI Beaver 5th October, 1992 The Students' Union Newspar of the London School of Economics Issue 361 BRITISH UBRARY OF POLITICAL S ECONOMIC SQEHCE County Hall Dream Over 5 \ 4 ^ i iS8!S -f ,¦¦ r-xSA........ ^ ^ x»«^ * « > ^ ^ ^ / V/ c msmmmmmmm >:\^3S\S\"«JA'X«K :^;:;:^sv.'>v *i4it MU mi SSSW5W svSSxsv^:^ Photo: Barry Pourgadini County Hall reporting by Adrian May John Ashworth's dream of moving the London School of Economics to County Hall, former home of the GLC, has been shattered. In a very downbeat meeting in the Old Theatre on Monday 28 September, the LSE Director told staff and students that they could 'forget' any plans to move the school to the building. The decision, made by environment secretary Michael Howard on the afternoon of 25 Septembermarkstheend of a long and eventful battle by the school to prove that they had the best proposals for the use of the mammoth site, first opened as the home of London government in 1922. The campaign was described by many as one of the best lobbying efforts seen in Westminster in years, and produced a number of significant victories along the way. These included a commitment by the Labour Party to allow the School to share the building with their proposed London metropolitan authority had they won the elecdon, and convincing a very reluctant Lambeth Council to give LSE planning permission. Despite this, as the Director pointed out on Monday, 'it was not enough to win the trophy.' The Schools efforts reached fever pitch in July of this year when the submitted a £65 million bid for the site, whilst highlighting heavily the many benefits for the nation and the South Bank that the School had claimed their ownership of the site would produce. In many respects it was the school's insistence on centering their bid on these arguments, and not the financial aspects that the government had always insisted would be the decider, that led in part to the bid's failure. But without doubt the nail in the coffin was the report by accountants Touche Ross on the realism of the schools financial predictions. Arguing that the Houghton Street site was going to be worth £ 1 OOm in 1995, and assuming that student numbers would continue to increase dramatically, LSE had constructed a fiscally ambitious proposal to pay not only the £65m purchase costs, but also an estimated £5()m in refurbishment costs. Touche Ross quesdoned the ability of the LSE to attract students at the rate predicted, but also claimed that Houghton St was worth between only £l()m and £38m. Ashworth did not attempt to hide his bitterness at the way the final decision was reached. Having received the Touche Ross report, the University Funding Council informed Micheal Howard that they would not be prepared to underwrite the LSE shortfall, which they estimated could be as much as £40m over four years. Having made his decision Howard announced it to the commons at 14.29, a minute before the house rose for the weekend, effectiveley removing any risk of immediate condemnation. Ashworth was notified by letter at 15(X)hrs. He was clearly annoyed that the school had not been given the opportunity to comment on the Touche Ross report before its INSIDE SU Election Sian Evans Eastwood Meets The Music Section The Women's Scandal Investigates Thomas IS Column THIS Exposed the World Of in the Bjom Again returns on Banking Arts on on WEEK Page 2. on Page Four Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 2 NEWS The Beaver, 5 October 1992 County Hall Analysis The Options With the preference for a single site, LSE can either stay in Houghton Street and expand by attrition, or move elsewhere. The latter is perhaps the less likely, and would certainly attract opposition, but a move to Canary Wharf has always been suggested as a possibility. Within Aldwych, the LSE is opening this year its St Phillips Hospital extension, providing new teaching space. The Royalty Theatre has already been offered to the school by owners Stoll Moss Theatres, although proper consideration could not be given whilst the County Hall bid was underway. Purchasing the theatre now seems inevitable. The next big opportunity for the school will come next year when the Office of Population Censuses and Surveys moves out of St Catherines House, which adjoins the Old Build- ing. John Ashworth has clearly got his eyes on Columbia House, so that he can create a glass enclosed atrium over Houghton Street, whilst the biggest opportunity, although unlikely due to cost, is Bush House, which the BBC World Service want to vacate when they have funding to do so. The Campaign - a wasted effort? The LS E has been pursuing County Hall since midsummer 1991 with relentless persistence, unbowed at the many setbacks experienced along the way. The school insists though that the costs have not been heavy financially, and have in fact provided outstanding free and positive coverage of the insdtudon and its activities. The media campaign, which has been widely admired externally, was managed by Iain Crawford, the school press officer, who was assisted by a professional lobbyist in his dealings with politicians. An additional bonus is that the battle has identified for the school many allies in both parliament and elsewhere who were prepared to back the school and promote its case. The greatest criticism of the campaign is that it continued too long, and so put off the urgent decisions needed to be taken about other physical expansion options. But it is here that the From Page 1, continued submission, explaining that things may have turned out differently had this been possible. The top priority for the school will now be to consider other options for physical expansion. Many were discussed at the Monday meeting (see above) with Ashworth stressing that only those that ensured the LSE continuing on a single site would be entertained. The school will be helped by an offer of future support from the University Funding Council, who in the past denied assistance with the St Phillips Hospital and most recentiy with County Hall. With human resources now freed from the County Hall distraction, greater effort will be put into pressi ng ahead with other parts of the Director's Vision, John Ashworth's plans for the LSE in 2020. The Centenary fundraising programme will now be stepped up, following ¦ the appointment of Howard Rheingold from Lincoln College in Oxford as Director of the programme. In an ironic display of support for the Director, successive academics stood up at the Monday meeting encouraging the school to at least keep the County Hall option open. Ashworth said however that this was the What could have been.... A move to County Hall would have dramatically changed the destiny of the LSE. The L 3 million square feet of the County Hall site would have been an unprecedented expansion for not only the school, but its Library also. So vast would the new building have been that the school planned to create a Social Science Park in one of the buildings behind, full of companies ready to use or enhance LSEs excellence in this area. The LSE plan was designed to benefit more than the University, with a full time Community Work team to ensure that the local economy and local residents benefitted too. But the financial costs may have been prohibitive, with many concerned that too many students would need to be taken on to pay for the move. Umbrellagate Allegations increase over election dirty tricks school has been perhaps most clever - whilst saying outwardly that County Hall was the only expansion option, it has quietiy invested in the existing site, with perhaps the greatest expansion in the school in recent years with the St Phillips purchase, and dramatic improvements to the Old building, so that in fact no ground has been lost here. most the school could do, and only if they were invited to do so -lobbying on was not on the agenda. Whether such an invitation would be forthcoming cannot be fully ruled out, as the Financial Times on Saturday 26 September carried a report suggesting that the Shirayama Corporation, the successful bidders, were now having to reconsider their proposals. They too will have to go through what will be a very unsympathetic Lambeth planning council, although this could be circumvented by intervention from the Environment Minister Rumours began circulating after last March's sabbatical elections that alleged there had been some sort of election fraud. This came on top of a campaign which was highly criticized by many as being personal, bitchy and lacking in ideas and is already likely to lead to a tightening up of the election rules. James Brown, elected as an Umbrella onto the Executive, stated to a member of the Beaver staff last week that, "if Simon Reid ( the Returning Officer ) knew what we had done, we would have all been disqualified !" Reid on hearing this, invited Brown to demonstrate the integrity to which he rightiy aspires and that he should "resign immediately" if he sincerely believes that this is the case. Furthermore Brown should "come clean" on exacUy what his, or the Umbrel-las misdemeanours were, in order that the Union "could take steps in the future to prevent similar occurrences happening again." The suspicions of an alleged fraud came to ahead on the Saturday after the election. Reid had declared on Thursday the number of votes cast was 1284, calculated by the number of ballots, and the votes, when counted, were tallying with this figure. But Reid told Michiel van Hulten, last years General Secretary, that he felt there was something wrong with the election and he may have no choice but to scrap the whole election and rerun it! This decision was not taken lightiy by Reid. He had consulted with Peter Mackey, the previous Returning Officer, and used his own findings of the October election. So after 3 days of trying to convince himself otherwise, Reid was beginning to think that something indeed was wrong. From previous experience, many ballot papers are not returned. This is because, many people who collect a ballot paper, do not understand the system of the Single Transferrable Vote. Others see the thick ballot paper, some 20 plus sheets, and give up discarding them in the Brunch Bowl or in the bins. This was also the first two day election, and many people that picked up their ballot^ on Tuesday, for what ever reason, decided not to return their ballots, although some tried to return them late. These reasons tie in with other LSESU elections when between 50-60 ballot papers, although given out, are never returned. So with the votes cast virtually matching the official count Reid was almost sure something was amiss. He went back over his methodical planning and tried to figure out where and how any tampering may have occurred. Officially there were 1800 ballot papers, boxed, sealed, signed and locked in a Sabbaticals Office. Reid personally numbered each Ballot paper and this gave a total of 1780, twenty fewer than printed, but this was explained as a fault of the collating machine. The remaining ¦ single sheets were destroyed. The only possible answer for the 50-60 ballots was duplicated copies or forgeries. However Reid thought this highly unlikely as he had his own security mark on the ballots. But he did not check every single ballot paper, so if there were any forgeries, they could have slipped through. Reid proceeded to count all the names on the electoral roll who voted which gave him a figure of 1,364 which would then account for the 50 - 60 ballot papers that would be expected to be non- returned. Reid now declared this figure as the official figure. He explained that the original figure had been found from the number of numbered ballots given out, and that he believed the auto-matic number stamp must have stuck during the process of numbering. Although Reid is sure in his mind that everything was above board, the rumours of the alleged election rigging rumble on. Reid said "the (voting) system was not fool proof, citing the use of LSE library cards as a major worry as it allowed the possibility of being given to two ballot papers. Asked now on the initial quote. Brown refused to comment. But as a member of the Executive, Finance and Services Committee and the Finance Editor of The Beaver, there is room for a conflict of interests. Brown may seriously have to consider his position as will the rest of the Umbrellas who, until this is allegation is settled, are clearly compromised. No party, group or individual should be able to subvert the democratic process. News Oclobcr 5 1992 It Shouldn't Happen to an ENTS Officer Theft from the Tuns and backstage difficulties marr the Fresher's Huge Intro Party by Beaver Staff Police were called to the LSE on Saturday to investigate an alleged theft of a cassette recorder. Three young men were taken into custody at Bow street Police station. It is believed that at least two were from the LSE, the other was from Imperial College. Eye witnesses stated that there was another man, but although Top Guard Security was able to pick out and apprehend three of the four, it is believed the fourth one left after concealing himself in the crowd in the Quad. The incident, which occurred during the set of Sarah, Sarah, had been brought to the attention of the LSESU Stewards by a group of second year LSE students who claimed they had seen someone walk off with a cassette deck that had been left in the Three Tuns following Friday's quiz. With all entrances covered by security guards, it was clear that the culprits had not yet left the building. However, Peter Francis, the Night Supervisor, informed security that an alarm had gone off in the porters lodge for one of the fire exits to the Three Tuns. He had rung Jim Fagin, the Bar manager, who checked the door and found it closed. Furthermore, Mr Francis stated that the video cameras on the side of St Clements building had spotted movement behind the beer barrels outside of the said exit. He originally thought this to be Fagin, but further investigation by Security and Stewards proved inconclusive. At this point Top Guard Security had apprehended a suspect, who had been identified by witnesses, and Ron Voce, one of five LSE students stewarding at the time, had recovered the tape deck from behind the beer barrels. A further two youths were apprehended inside the Three Tuns Club while the third managed to avoid capture. At the time of going to press, the Beaver has little information about what action the Police are going to take. However, if there are LSE students involved in this alleged theft, then they must expect serious action to be taken, not only by the Student Union, who may expel them, but by the LSE itself who may also expel them, after the correct disciplinary procedures have been gone through. The incident itself followed a number of catastrophes which occurred throughout the evening. The event only just managed to start thanks to a mix up with the PA hire company, who had no recollection of a booking. A suitable PA was only located after several phone calls by Ents Sabbatical Johnny Bradburn and Fiona MacDonald and by the dme it arrived, 7pm, all three bands were on the verge of pulling out. When the first band did go on, much later than publicized, their set was interrupted by a fuse being blown off-stage. The third band, the Bedbugs, only managed four songs before their set was cut short by Peter Francis who imposed the School's curfew of 12am. Furthermore, it was discovered during the course of the evening that the tickets for next week's concert had the same date, 3rd October, as the tickets for Saturday'sconcert,-lead-ing to many students turning up with the wrong tickets. Johnny Bradburn has asked us to reassure students that tickets for next week's show are valid. After such an eventful start to his Ents career, Bradburn is looking forwards to next week's Vast Intro Party with expectation where he hopes everything will go according to plan. Tequila 24th October Tickets: £3 Members £4.50 Non-members theT, „ - tequila/gQ(.jg^y 4 OPINIONS AND FEATURES The Beaver, 5 October, 1992 The Beaver So we didn' t get County Hall, then. Who wants to live south of the river anyway? Besides, there' s always Canary Wharf. Whether or not we do eventually move, some things will never change. It's a tradition within the Students Union that Sabbaticals never get along with each other and you can rest assured that this year will be no different. Conflicts between them have already arisen, with the main protagonists being Pete Harris and Faz Zahir. Only last week tempers flared over the issue of Faz's 'Rough Guide to the UGM' when Harris was offended by an article concerning the recent political history of the Student's Union. According to Pete, the article attacked the DSG and he duly pointed out that no political group within the LSE can be slagged off in an official LSESU publication, ie You can't use Union funds to put down your opposition (he obviously hasn't read this year's official Student Handbook, edited by fellow DSG crony, Peter Har-rad). Although he readily admits that his reaction to the piece was over-the-top, Harris achieved what he set out to do: the contents of the said document were disclaimed by the Exec., several pieces were taken out and last, but by no means least, he managed to wind Faz up and piss her off. Such actions augur well for future harmonious relations, don't you think? Besides, Faz only collated the material for the guide, leaving the hard part of actually writing about the Union to four other students. Harris must of known this because he shares an office with her and knows she spends most of her time on the phone to her various Turkish friends and relatives sorting out their love lives. In the meantime, Mr Ebeneezer Scrooge himself, John Spurling, has hit upon the idea of making a profit during his term in office and refuses to buy Johnny Bradbum a PA, despite recognising the long-term profit, leaving the two drinking partners at loggerheads whenever they discuss the subject. Whoever suggested that the Sabbaticals should share offices should be shot. Harmonious or not, it's fairly obvious that his year is going to be very volatile indeed. Executive Editor Managing Editor News Editors Campus Editor Features Editor Arts Editors Music Editor Sports Editors Photographic Editor Financial Director Neil Andrews Nigel Boyce Emma Bearcoft Hans Gutbrod Jerome Harris Paul Bou Habib Navin Reddy Goeff Robertson Neil Andrews Andrew Graveson Ian Staples Steve East T. James Brown StaffSelma Ahmad, George Binette, John Fen-ton- Fischer, Nick Fletcher, Gavin Gilham, Peter Harrad, Justin Harper, Becky Hartnup, Uncle Rob Hick, Eduardo Jauregui, Toby Johnson, Martin Lewis, Chris Longridge, Stavros Makris, Pemilla Malmfalt, Adrian May, Thorston Moos, Sarah Owen, David Price, Zaf Rashid, Steve Thomas, Ron Voce, Stuart Wilkes, Faz Zahir. Printed by Eastway Offset, 3-13 Hepscott Road, London E9 Getting The Most Out Of Your Bank Sian Evans takes a look at the 1992-93 student banking packages and puts the results of a new debt survey in context. With the current student grant frozen at its 1990 level it is obvious that the present government has not awarded student funding priority status. The student grant now has to stretch more than Lycra could ever contemplate. To highlight the british students plight, the latest edition of Europe in Figures points out that retail pricesfrom 1985 to 1991 rose by 41% in the UK, and by comparison, European prices rose by only 28% in the same period. Even though many students expenses are now almost entirely funded by parental contribution the inescapable fact is that many parents have been scuppered by high interest rates, ones which have remained among the highest in Europe until of late. Couple the situation of a reduced parental contribution with the fact that british students face the third highest costs for accommodation, heating and lighting in Europe and the image of the care free, beer drinking, winsome student, goes straight out the window. The student debt situation in Britain prompted Barclays Bank in conjunction with NUS Services Ltd, to undertake a nationwide survey to establish attitudes and patterns to borrowing and money management. The results may seem pretty innocuous to anyone who's been a student for any length of time, but the rudimentary responses may be all that the banking fraternity can handle. There were however some surprises to be found in the survey. For example, some 25% of the respondents said they were actively planning to change their banks when they graduate. Such behaviour has been relatively unheard of in a field that for the past 20 years has been characterised by inertia. The banks are undoubtedly getting a clear warning, a certain number of students admitted they were willing to consider changing banks in only the second year of study. Perhaps this survey is just the catalyst for those bankers to completely rethink their attitudes to students and finally cast off the long held belief that they are just 'complacent fat cats' offering only meagre concessions. Student Package Extended There has, in fact, been one very major change of heart. Seemingly, the aggressive attitudes displayed by students and the ensuing trend towards revengeful behaviour towards bankers inflexibility have paid off to a certain extent. This years student banking packages have, of course, the usual cash incentives, but the big breakthrough is that the top five banks have decided to allow students to continue to reap the benefits of their respective 'special services' throughout the duration of their course of study. Reason dictates that once there has been the recognition that financial hardships do not suddenly stop at the end of the first year, it is only a short step to the realisation that money problem s do not di sappear the day after graduation. The LLoyd and Natwest banks have seen the light and now offer a 'graduation service' , whereby the terms of the student account are extended to the end of the year of graduation. Hopefully , this sensible offer will filter through to the other bankers to ensure that it becomes normal postgraduate banking practice by next year. A Debt to Expect Welcome to the world of budget deficit. Students leaving college this year (91-92) will owe, on average, £1,765 according to Barclays research, and 31% of that debt will have been incurred by the government backed Student Loan (shark) Scheme. Bank overdrafts will account for 25% on average and 21 % of the total is reported to be the result of borrowing from families (on top of the 'parental contribution' to the grant). What is clear from the survey is that students do not blame themselves for their money problems. Many felt bitter at the amount of time and effort they put into penny-pinching still to find an horrendous mountain of debt waiting for them at graduation. The 40% who expressed anger at being forced into debt did not, in fact, directly attribute it towards the banks. Many respondents expressed the view that "the government should fund our education, not the banks". What students, both freshers and finalists alike, should learn from this study, are that positive attitudes towards debt are essential. It was revealed that for freshers, the first few weeks of managing their of own money was enough to send some of them packing. The most disheartening revelation was that a certain number of students, having made it into their final year, felt compelled to exit the course to find work, for fear that they would either be unable to complete the course due to lack of funds or if they did borrow, would be unable to repay the debt once graduated. Advice The latter scenario, however rare, is possibly one of the worst consequences of the debt trap. The situation is further compounded by the reality that many graduates amend their career plans and defer further study or even abandoned it in order to avoid being credit blacklisted . This does little to encourage those, such as law students, who would like to study for the bar. There are a vast array of awards, bursaries and grants available - being so pessimistic that "there's no point" in applying for any because you don't think you'd qualify is such a pathetic reason you seriously need extra tuition in the department of common sense. Four out of five of the top Banks have reacted to the need for students to get solid advice before taking 'life decisions' by enhancing their student financial counselling services. The Midland, Natwest and Barclays have taken on extra student service officers to counsel you throughout your course of study and the thoughtful Abbey National will help to teach you (ever so usefully) to drive, but only if you're between 16-20. So far it is only Lloyds who have really taclded the problem of 'post graduate banking head on'; they have established a 'Classic Account' and a preferential personal loan facility for the graduate, plus a rather mysterious free 'personal financial review' making it sound a bit like a free accountants audit. Forme, they still achieve 10/10 for their foresight. SPEAK OUT Youcan'texpecttowin a raffle unless you by a ticket, you therefore can't expect anyone to help you unless you actually inform someone that there IS a problem. People and institutions will often bend over backwards to help someone who is clearly being responsible by dealing with a problem head on. It is not unknown for British Telecom to delay payment of a bill for a month and then put you on a budget scheme you had some hope of repaying. Students with their own homes can also win sympathy by informing 5 OPINIONS AND FEATURES The Beaver, 5 October 1992 their mortgages companies of the impending gloom. Water, Gas, Electricity and Poll Tax representatives would honestly rather you paid a little bit at a time than cut you off from services. The same applies to the bankers, they just get upset when you ignore the problem. The Barclays survey highlighted that students were extremely angry about the numbers of letter sent out by Banks (at a cost of £10-£20 per letter) informing them about their level of debt and requesting action. One phone call may have been all that was needed. You must, however, remember to make a note of the time, date and take the name of the person dealing with your call, if an amicable agreement is reached with them, ask for confirmation in writing. If you then receive a nasty letter in the post and are charged £20 for the privilege, you are well within your rights to photocopy all previous correspondence, write a letter telling them how inept they are and then INVOICE THEM for £20 (for all the time and effort, copies and postage etc). They have been known to pay up! Get Real According to the survey a high percentage of students suffered from 'final year blues', and many reported feelings of denial, defeat andfrus-tration at this stage. Not particularly astonishing. granted, but such emotions are destructive. At least a certain degree (ho ho) of resignation to your fate will help you to concentrate on your studies and deal with budgeting on a practical level. Ignoring reminders and continuing to spend a your 'normal level' is veritable suicide. You will be able to pay off those debts, once you have completed your degree, and contrary to popular opinion, no-one 2) commission free sales and purchases on foreign currency and Thomas Cook travellers' cheques. 3) access to special insurance package and legal advice helpline 4) Access and Visa credit cards are available, if eligible, with combined £250 limit and no fee. 5) free financial counselling Natwest: Free banking within lst-3rd yrs agreed credit limit? Interest on current account Midland yes 6% gross Lloyds yes 5% gross Natwest yes 4.625% gross Barclays . yes 4% gross Abbey National no 2.58% gross can repossess your education. can repossess your education. Those Freshers free-bies in Full LLoyds: 1)Free 'Youngpersons Railcard' (worth £16) 2) Free Eurocheque card (worth £9) 3) commission free currency and travellers cheques 4) access to special insurance package (available all years) 5) Lloyds Visa Payment card with £100 cheque guarantee limit 6) Preferential account and loan arrangements for graduates. Midland: 1) £15 cash gift 1) £25 cash gift 2) on top of interest free overdraft, can, from the second year, apply for a £400 interest free loan 3) Student Plus terms extended to the end of calendar year of graduation. Barclavs: 1) £10 Our Price voucher 2) an enhance Student Business Officer service Abbev National: 1) if between ages of 16-20 can have free BSM driving lesson and then get 25% off your next five lessons. 2) if already a driver, then you get free BP petrol vouchers. For those who feel they are likely to exceed their interest free overdraft should study the following rate table. Beware that some banks will charge interest on the whole amount eg. even if you have a £4()0 interest free overdraft and you exceed your limit by £50 you will be charged interest on the whole amount (£450). Ethical Banking It would be somewhat libetious of me to mention that certain banks have been (and perhaps still are) associated with investing in politically incorrect markets such as, tobacco companies, drugs running, money laundering, and heaven forbid, companies that test on animals. Those among you that would rather not run the risk of lining the pockets of the wicked should look to the Co-operative Banks' ethical banking campaign. They will never knowingly invest in any of the aforementioned fields. A report published in The Independent last month indicated that this policy has helped to attract new customers and has consequently increased its retail deposits against the national trend. For more information call 0345 414 414, but be warned, there are NO STUDENT PACKAGES, instead they will be honouring you by 'treating you like an adult' instead of a poverty stricken undergraduate who only has a holiday job to survive on. ACTION 1. Tell your student banking advisers of your difficulties 2. Tell your tutor, they will back you up and help you apply for college funds and advise on alternative ways of continuing to study eg. flexitime. 3. See your student welfare officer, they will advise you to apply for Access and Hardship funds. 4. Go to your local interest free overdraft overdraft interest rale LLoyds £400 15.3% apr Abbey National none 14.5% apr Natwest £400 12% fixed Midland £400 % above base (9%) Barclays £300 1% above interest free overdraft overdraft interest rale citizens advice bureau. They will have details on how to claim benefits etc. 5. Try educational charities and trusts. They often allocate small sums to students suffering hardships. Libraries and citizens advice bureaus will have more details. 6. Even if you don't need the whole amount, a Student loan is better than nought. You can always put what you don't need in a high interest deposit account. Handy Hints 1. Don't buy anything from HP catalogues, they're at least 20% more expensive 2. Open a high interest deposit account, transfer all the grant money from your bank into it (making sure you have signed the declaration that you are entitled to tax-free saving) and then only transfer how much you actually need to spend each month into the account. 3. Cheap washing up liquidisafalse economy. 4. Find out what time your local superstore/ hypermarket does its reductions on perishable foods and buy everything you need for the week. 5. Don't buy prepacked tomatoes, plums etc. they'll most likely go off before you get rouna to eatmg them. Buy a few ripe and the rest under-ripe. Mayday, Mayday ! Ron Voce presents a despatch riders guide to student survival in London Strange as it seems a despatch rider is one of the best people to tell you freshers, or inductees, how to survive in London, mainly because they have to do it every day. I did it at Easter and as a summer job last year, and depending on how you look at it, fortunately or unfortunately, I survived. But I did have an accident, writing off my motorcycle. Mad as you may think I am, I returned to work in a Company van with only bruised legs and a bruised ego, mainly because I enjoyed the job. It is surprisingly good for stimulating the brain cells as you have to be able to think quickly about where you are going next. It is certainly not everyones idea of vacation work, butitcertainly helps you to find your way around the City, the West End, and the 'burbs, finding places you never knew about. The best part about the job was is if you were givent a job to Manchester or York and then you could use your Student Railcard. These jobs were great because you could relax and let the train take the strain. Anyway, I digress. To most newcomers to London, the real problem, as in any big city is traffic. As I already mentioned I was involved in a serious accident, but that was be- cause of some other person not playing fair. Accidents happen, because usually someone is not paying attention. This is because many people think London is just a great place for tourists, all those lovely places to see and photograph and all those lovely quaint people going about their daily business. As you are a visitor to London you may marvel at the varied attractions that the majority of people, bus drivers, cabbies, despatch riders, cyclists and Londoners, t^e for granted. So beware when you step out into the road to take that wonderful shot of Buckingham Palace as you are likely to get honked at, or worse, hit. This is because these people have a job to do and woe betide anyone that is in their way. This means you ! The first time you get honked at for stepping on a pelican crossing when the lights are flashing or try ing to cross a road when there is a zebra crossing a few shorts steps up the road, don't get angry at these daredevils, they are only doing their job and nine times out of ten it is you, the pedestrian, that is in the wrong. Yet there are some real nutters who just don't care. If you try and cross the street through stationary traffic do not be surprised if you come face to face with a bike. Or even if you jump off one of the famous London buses these bikes turn up everywhere and usually where and when you would least suspect them! So be very careful when you are in London, because these despatch riders do not want to hit you, it may only seem like it, but to earn any money at all, they have to weave through traffic and sometimes this seems to the casual observer as dan gerou s. B ut to one who has done the job it is not. Finally it is worth remembering, that these people generally know their way around London as well as cabbies and the "great" British Bobbie. So all though they look a bit rough, they will generally give you directions if you ask. Despatch riders have a pretty bad P.R. profile, but really underneath all that leather they are just normal human beings, honest! For in stance it may surprise you to know but in the firm I worked for, 5 riders had degrees. So maybe I've already found my career after 1 graduate next year! So take a leaf out of their book. Stay aware, concentrate and know where you are going. London is great fun, providing you can sur vive the traffic. Remem ber all you need to survive in London is a little common sense and most importantly an A-Z ! 6 ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT The Beaver, 5 October, 1992 Hanging Out With Captain Caveman Bill and Ted meet the missing link in 'California Man' Ever since the success of 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure', Hollywood has churned out a number of bland 'dude' movies hoping to cash in on the latest marketable genre of teenage movies. With such a biirrage of crap, Hollywood Pictures' latest film, 'California Man', could easily have been washed up alongside all the other dreary remakes {of the classic teen mov-lies. Luckily for them. I 'California Man' has one jvital ingredient which I should separate it from jthe rest: the originality |of Shawn Schepps' i screenplay. Adapting the old storyline of a fish-out-of-iwater type scenario, {'California Man' is ba-Isically about two high jschool losers, Dave i Morgan, played by Sean Astin, and Stoney iBrown, MTV's very I own Pauly Shore, who I unearth a frozen cave-|man will digging a 'swimming pool in Dave's back garden. Dave seizes this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity in an attempt to boost his credibility at school and win the heart 'Totally bogus, dude!" Link the Caveman thaws out with a few buddies of the prom queen, Robyn (Megan Ward). But he soon learns that credibility has a price as Robyn's boyfriend proceeds to humiliate Dave at every conceivable opportunity. To be fair, the film starts very slowly but this is soon rectified once the caveman Link (Brendan Eraser) thaws out and discovers the Twentieth Century. Eraser, a virtually unknown Canadian actor, is hilarious as the caveman and pulls of one of the funniest roles I've seen for ages in a Teen film. Pauly Shore camps up his role as the hippy with no pretensions who takes Link under his wing while Sean Astin delivers a performance very apt to his role. Like so many other teen films, 'California Man' comes complete with a 'hip' soundtrack but unlike many teen films there's no slushy bit at the end, only car-toon-like violence. Maybe Hollywood's changed its views on home being were the heart is? It certainly makes the film more true to life. To say 'California Man' is a classic film is pure nonsense, butif you want ninety minutes of unadulterated fun then go along to your local flee-pit and see it. Neil Andrews Unforgetable Steve Thomas attempts to review Clint's new Western 'Unforgiven' Usually my film reviews are so short that other people try to extend them but in doing so destroy the poetry of my musings. Anyway, for my first review of the new academic year I decided to look at "Unforgiven" the new Clint Eastwood western. But there again why bother as I am sure readers that you must have read or heard comments on this film already so I need not bore the buttons off your 501's going over it again as I am just a pleb in front of a Mac and not a well paid pleb in front ofaMacin Wapping. So instead I've decided to list, in my jaundiced eyes, five great Westerns. Ifyou wish you can write in and add your comments. If not please accept this as a piece of column filling. So here we go in no particular order. "Heavens Gate." The film that sank a studio. Get it on a grainy video or catch it at a special showing. Make sure you see the 4 hour version! "The Wild Bunch." A great western from Peck-enpah. Don't see it on TV as it is usually cut to bits. Get it on Laserdisc in wide screen. "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly:" A truly operatic western with Clint chompin' his cigar through the American Civil War. "Once upon a time in the West" Sergio Leone's Clintless western with Henry Fonda playing the bad boy. Wonderful soundtrack over shots of Monument Valley. "Star Trek VI" A great space western. See this film. "I canna change the laws of reviewing Jim." Wanted: Person to review all future cinema releases. Apply to the Editor, RoomE197. A Rough Guide To The Arts in London Since this is the first issue of the glorious Beaver this year, and since as I've been living 250 miles (or so) away from London for the last three weeks or so, I haven't had the opportunity yet to get around and review some of the lastest offerings in London. But instead of leaving a huge blank space on the arts pages , I thought it'd be better if I pointed out some of the places available for tickets and bookings that I've found in the last year or so. The U.L.U. ticket shop , in the U.L.U. building on Malet street is excellent for all sorts of bookings , especially for gigs/ concerts. They charge only very small bookings fees , mainly because U.L.U. isn't out to make a huge profit off those who go to the buildings as we're all supposed to be students. U.L.U has a couple of drawbacks in that its lists of gigs isn't that comprehensive, and I'm not sure how good they are for booking shows or plays. If U.L.U. can't supply the tickets you need, then the Astoria booking office (in their lobb ) at Centre Point (Oxford Street) is usually quite good. They will add on slightly more than U.L.U, but not too much more. The Astoria seems to cover all major gigs in town, as does The Marquee (a bit further down the road on Charing Cross road), again, their booking fees aren't too bad. If you like wandering down dodgy back-streets in Soho (and who are we to argue if you do), then Berwick street, off Oxford street, has some good record stores, of which- Select-a-Disc is probably-the best for gigs tickets. If you are keen to go to some shows, but the prices are a problem, then you might like to try Leicester Square, where there's a little caravanlike stnicture which sells student standby tickets which are much cheaper than normal tickets. The only disadvantages are that you have to go down on the day you see your show, and you pretty much have to take what you can get, especially on a weekend night, which are generally the busiest nights . Having said that, it is possible to get a cheap nights, entertainment, but it is also possible to get a slap in the face with a wet fish There are a lot of Booking Offices on Charing Cross road, many of which are very expensive , especially the one very close to Leicester Square tube station. There is a good one in part of the same building as Great Portland Street tube station which is one of the more obscure ones I visited last year in the quest for those ever elusive tickets (particularly for The Red Hot Chili's Peppers), if you need a good gig guide, NME and Melody Maker are pretty good , especially for the particular week , and Time Out is brilliant for Exhibitions/Clubs/ Gigs, etc, etc. If the cinema is more your thing, then there are many places you can go. Most you'll see around are quite expensive (Leicester Square about £7-£l 1 ,Tottenham Court Road £6/£7) so it's worthwhile going a little further out. Baker Street cinema and Camden Parkway are both £5 for evening performances and £3.50 for daytime. Hampstead cinema has an offer on currently that allows you to buy two tickets for the price of one with a Young Persons Railcard (although I'tn not sure what British Fail has to do with cinema going). Some of the central cinemas do have an offer for £3.50 on certain pre-Five O' clock showings, Time-Out is probably the best magazine to tell you where those are, but and newspaper should have them. Finally, the Prince Charles cinema, in a side street off Leicester Square (near to Haagen Dazs) shows slightly older/cult films for £2 a time - recent screenings have included Alien and Aliens in a double bill (wonder what that was to cash in on ?), and every Saturday there is a late night screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, at which the punters like to dress as their favourite characters. I haven't been myself, but I've been told it's a great laugh ! Well, that's about it, but don't forget to watch out for video screenigs here at LSE and at U.L.U. ! Happy watching! Geoff Robertson Gene Hackman breaks the news to Frances Fisher that Steve Thomas is commg to town. first Beaver collective meeting and intro bash is on Monday 5 October in the Under^ound. Anyone interested in working on the Beaver next year, please attend. All welcome,old ^d new. If in doubt contact Neil Andrews. Beaver Editor in El97 or on Ext. 2870. 7 MUSIC Pleasure Devine The Lion Roars reviews this week's Singles The Sundays - 'Goodbye' (Parlophone) With a comeback single entitled 'Goodbye' at least The Sundays haven't lost their sense of Humour. Despite the fact that Harriet Wheeler's words are indistinguishable from each other you can rest assured that a number of anorak-wearing Indie saddoes will be having orgasms over this piece ofvinyl. You'd think that after a gap of three years that The Sundays would be able to produce something half decent but, as it is, this record is a lacklustre affair. I 'Can't Be Sure', though. Ha, ha, ha, ha...ahem. The lame version of the Rolling Stones' 'Wild Horses' should be put down. Cranium H. F. - 'Nation Of Pinheads' EP (Hydrogen Dukebox) "The front gargoyle. Cranium, determined to find the missing link, found something resembling a bunch of dying oysters..." Vibes. It's very unlikely that you'll take this record off your turntable, providing, of course, you have a tumable, because of its addictive qualities. Mr Myth proceeds to strum his wailing guitar while messrs Biscuit Bunnies guest on keyboards to a dance beat and other distorted noises. The reserved "alien", Mr Fisheye, sings. With a megaphone. A truly awesome dance record. The Transcendental Love Machine - 'Silver Atomic' EP (Hydrogen Dukebox) Dr Who on Es. Another awesome dance record, mate. 25th of May - 'Its All Right' (Arista) 'Lenin & McCarthy' has been one of this year's criminally overlooked albums. Their previous singles, 'Go Wild' & 'What's Going' were minor classics but having been compared to PWEI, Jesus Jones & EMF its about time 25th of May were j udged upon their own merits. "Its All Right" is probably the best record of this week's bunch and therefore deserves SOTW. Stare - 'Mood' (Fuse-box Records/Big Life) Stare have really lost the plot. 'Stare' and 'Work' were two reasonably good records but, alas, the third is just a pile of horse shit. The Orb -' Assassin' (Wau! Mr Modo/Big Life) Following on from their 'Blue Room' top ten smash and the subsequent 'U. F. Orb', 'Assassin' was produced by DJ LEwis and was "Boldly mixed in Tokyo". To list the various mixes, all of which are released this Monday, would be a time consuming, chart-rigging experience. Needless to say there's plenty of them The Soup Dragons in SOTW shocker I'he Orb prove that drugs hvae no real side effects. and r ve got mine on blue vinyl, missus, which is neither here nor there. Vibes. And plenty of them. E-Zee Posse (featuring Dr. Mouthquake) -Love On Love (More Protein) The thing I hate about this job is wading through the various mixes of all the dance/ rave records. Without a hint of an indie-guitar riff in sight to break the monotony of drum beats, I'm left to review the various mixes. 'Love On Love is harmless enough and will undoubtedly reach the top twenty, but I wish TOTP would play the Wedding Present a bit more. Of the five (count 'em) mixes, I recommend the Mouth-quake Master Mix, purely because it was the only one I listened to. The Grid - 'Heartbeat' (Virgin) Of the three mixes contained here, the 'Back ToTheFuture'mix sums up The Grid. A dance back-beat and a useless rap complimented by a Soft Cell-styled keyboard riff. For that, at least, it deserves some merit. What would have happened if Soft Cell stayed together? 'Something's Got A Hold Of My Heart' (Dub Radio Edit Re-Mix) featuring MC Pitney? Marc Almond rapping with Che Guevara to a disco-beat? Interesting. Appealing to the masses? Maybe. Soup Dragons -'Pleasure' (Big Life/ Raw TV) In their time, the Soup Dragons have made some classic records: the C86 classic 'Hang Ten', the divine 'Can't Take No More', the thrashy 'Crotch Deep Trash' and the eloquent 'Mother Universe'. However, the freak hitsingle'I'mFree' has hung around their neck like the proverbial albatross. A shame, really, because the Soup-pies are a very fine band indeed. They know how to string a pop song together and in Sean Dickson they possess a man who can write meaningless lyrics. 'Pleasure', for those who don't possess a copy of their third and latest album 'Hotwired', is an adrenalin rush par excellence which deserves to be Single of the Week. Therefore it shall. Gary Glitter - 'And The Leader Rocks On' (EMI) A mega mix of dear old Gazza's greatest hits featuring the Grandad of Glam's greatest stom-pers. Sounds pretty desperate to me, matey. Perhaps he's trying to fund his xmas tour? Who knows? After advertising Heinz soup, anything is possible with this man. Classic songs they may be, but put together as a mega mix reduces them to a glam version of Jive Bunny & the Master Mixers. The Beaver, 5 October 1992 Abba-esque! Bjom Again rip off the Swedish disco merchants "The History book on the shelf is always repeati ng it self-elf-elf-elf, there they were on TV Hell Abba, in all their 1974 Eurovision glory. But hadn't I seen them just recently at the Marquee, reformed and as good as ever, not looking even a day older. Abba were old hat even when I saw them on their last world tour at Wembley and over the last decade it was becoming moderatly embarrassing that I continued to espouse that Abba were one of my favourite live bands and that "the production on Eagle off Abba the Album was absolutly awesome!" Then just when you think its too late, the revival comes along fronted by Aussie rockers BJORN AGAIN, Erasures number one Abba-esque E.P., and even U2 played ABBA as some of their encores during the Zoo tour Rumours abound that ABBA are going to reform, but is their a need, lets see! Cut to the Marquee, the lights dim and Mike Oldfields version of "Arrival" heralds the second coming. Up go the lights revealing rather than the monstrous 15 piece backing bandof the yesteryear to reveal a tight rocking four piece band stomping through Waterloo at such vibrant pace you think its Prince Blucher arriving once again to save Wellingtons boots! Like all Elvis Presley clones, whomimichisLas Vegas period, BJORN AGAIN mimic the Eurovision period and as such the audience in their modern clothes look the more out of date. Hit after hit comes bounding out, "Gimme Gimme Gimme( a man after Midnight)", the classy disco hit, S.O.S. had bottle rather than wimpy synthersizers, Fernando became their Zippo song as we all sat around the campfire that was the stage at the Marquee, "Mamma Mia" becomes a classic, notjust the record that knocked Bohemian Rhapsody of the number one slot in January 1976. Ah 1976 Your mind wanders back, to 1976when flares were flares, Reading was a rock festival, summers were hot and stand pipes were everywhere. Yes "I have a dream, a song to sing." To many,BJORN AGAIN may seem to be a joke. But to those who think that, the jokes on them. ABBA are probably thankful, as are CBS, as it means it is time to shift the back catalogue and four ABBA to recoup some money they lost during the ABBA financial crisis of the early eighties. Reform, there is no nead, the king is dead, long live the Dancing Queen. For a good night out and, if your old enough a bit of nostalgia, BJORN AGAIN piss all over ABBA and thats official! P.S. BJORN AGAIN are at ULU this week. GO! _Ron Voce_ CALLING ALL UNCLES AND AUNTIES cfe NEPHEWS AND NEICES INTRO MEETING MONDAY 5 OCTOBER THE THREE TUNS CLUB 3pm - 6.30pm For drinks and a buffet 8 THE BACK PAGE The Beaver, 5 October 1992 The Women's Column Welcome to the reincarnated and soon to be reconstituted Women's Column. This is the first time for three years that The Beaver is including a Women's Column as a weekly feature. The Women's Column is about many things. It is a space for women's views and news, upcoming events both within college and outside it, in London. It is a place where a woman's opinion counts, an opportunity to reach a captive audience, to rant and rave or simply state your case. So whether you want to publicise a campaign you're involved in or want to relay an experience CONTRIBUTE by contacting -The Editor Room El97 Tel: ext. 2870 The Women's Room is a common room for women students situated on the top floor of The Cafe (R(X)m E91). The Women's Room is what you want it to be - somewhere to meet up with friends, eat your lunch or read quietly. Additionally you make use of the resources at hand -information is available on a wide range of issues. The Women's Room is about women, from throughout the college, getting together to discuss and campaign on women's issues. If you are interested in becoming involved then come along to any meeting - Every Tuesday 1 - 2p.m. The Women's Room Self-defence classes Upcoming Events Monday 5th October: start. If you want to join a class or are interested in assertiveness training then contact the Women' s Officer. Tuesday 6th October: At 1p.m. the Women's Group shall have two guest speakers. Julie Donovan is the main campaign co-ordinatorfor CADV (Campaign Against Domestic Violence) and she will talk on the very real problems that women suffer within violent relationships and also within the Legal System. Jeni Bailey is a member of the NUS Women's Committee. She will talk on the various NUS campaigns that are running this year, in particular "Anti-Racism" and "Child Support Act". Saturday 10th October: National Demonstration 'Stop the Violence' gathering at Temple Gardens, the Embankment at midday. Then rally at Trafalgar Square 2p.m. The Women's Group shall be supporting this, the first ever CADV national demonstration, congregating by the entrance to Temple Gardens at midday. Tuesday 13th October: Women's Buffet lunch in the Women's Room at 1 p.m. A chance to meet other women students and enjoy more of The Cafe's food! Tickets available sooner rather than later from the Women's Officer. The Women's Officer this year is Tesher Fitz-patrick. She has a responsibility to represent women students, their concerns and collective interests in Students' Union campaigns and in its daily operations. If you need to contact the Women's Officer or would like some questions answered then leave a note in her pigeon hole at SU Recepdon (Room E65) or leave a message in the Women's Room. The Women's Handbook is coming to you in the first week of term. You can pick up a copy in the Women's Room. It contains useful information on health and welfare issues and offers guidance about specific women's organisadons in London. Within the Women's Handbook there is a "Feed Back Form"- if you fill this out remember to post it in the box outside SU Reception. Who's Who in the UGM 1992 - 93 An irreverent look at the personalties of the UGM The Front Bench Faz Zahir - Unable to hold down a steady relationship. Oh no, what a personal disaster. Your General Secretary, but is she a team player ? Jon Spurling - The man with an awful lot of dosh, who doesn't want to spend it. Finance and Services Officer, and the man with a mortgage. Johnny Bradburn - He's here to entertain you. Usually when he's pissed. Could be one of the best Ents year yet.... well maybe! Peter Harris - Welfare and Equal Opps. Sabbatical. Hmmm, sounds interesting. A natty line in woolly jumpers. Great Rapport with the students or is it punters. The last DSG Sabbarical ? Reza Mahmoud - Caught up in the Umbrella's quest for supreme power last year, poor Mahmoud ac-cidently found himself elected to a position which he knew little about. Post Grad and Mature Students Officer. Sara Collins - Similar to above. Without leaders, the Umbrellas will be a one year wonder! Overseas Student Officer from the West Indies. Tesher Fitzpatrick - Changes the colour of her hair at least once a term. Woman's Officer who'll do well. Dominique De-Lite Left Society campaigner. Little dress sense. Exec member, also works in SU print room. Likes false flowers. Dave Jones - Do not mention beagles whilst he is around. Working Class Hero. Exec member, works in the Tuns. Phoebe Ashworth - Exec.Member and Tory Rose. No relation to the Director Martin Lewis - Ego. Quinn Morgan - Um- brella leader? A re-united Statesman. Exec and devious. Or at least he thinks he is. James Brown - Ooh, I feel good. Beaver and Exec, member. Closet Tory. Or is it Umbrella? Last Year's Hero's Toby Johnson - Ex- Senior Treasurer Sab-badcal. Remains to be seen whether he'll continue toproduce the goods he showed last season. Ron Voce - Person most likely to.............? Well, we'll see. Independent and dangerous! Suke Wolton Hairstyle of the Year 1992. Revolutionary Communist with a fixation about imperialist aggression. Major star. Mubin Haq - A bom leader. Newspaper boy (Socialist Worker) of 1992. A favorite in the UGM for the left bashers Steve Kinkee (nee Prince) - Left Society man and visually spectacular. Simon Reid - Likely Chair of the UGM. Sar-casdc wit. Looks like a school teacher or the lead singer of the Farm. Take your pick. Steve Thomas - An enigma. Well past his best years, he just sits in the balcony and lets the whole process rotate around him. Hon. President of the Balcony Boys. Tom Aubrey - Forever poor. Hairstyle of the Year 1991. A younger version of Steve Thomas. Antonia Mochan - Very quiet DSG candidate for General Secretary last year. Absent for the first term in an attempt to lower her previously high profile. Neil Andrews - Personal motto: "Never, ever, bloody anything at all ever". Millwall supporter and avid Wedding Present fan. Editor of the Beaver and shark lover. Dan Godfrey - Left Society sabbatical candidate. He almost won. Drives a motorbike. Late arrival last year, but made an impact. A rising star! David Mason - Shooting star. Burned brightly during the first term but faded through 1992. James Houghton- Rising star of the Tory party. Ian Prince's replacement? Adrian May - Beaver hack and Umbrella man. In the secular world of the LSE he is one of our links to God. No David Icke visions just yet! Louise Ashon - Made history during the sabbatical elections. Became the first SWSS candidate to reach 3 figures. Chris Short- Dave Gedge look-a-like. Jimi Hendrix fan. This year's Returning Officer who be on the lookout for electoral dirty tricks. Old Hacks George Binette - Experienced campaigner for the left; tendency to get over excited. Worth-wile getting to know ! Bernardo Duggan - You wouldn't believe us anyway! Bob Gross - An LSE institution. Rumour has it that a witch placed a curse on him during his first term in Houghton Street which prevents him from finishing his PhD. Influential DSG and S.U. member. Steve Peake -Irritating cynic. Blessed with the ability to get up everyone's nose. Crap DJ. Fire's blanks when the guns keep blazing, apparently. Mike McGrath - Postgrad. DSG member. Lousy knowledge of Football, he supports Arsenal. Leandro Moura - Hairstyle of the Year 1990. Plans to come back with a vengence to sit his Masters. But with no Labour Club, where will his influential political allegience go? Back Benchers Andy Baly - Cult hero. Founder of the Andy Baly Appreciation Society. All-round nice guy. Wimbledon's only supporter. Dave Rich - Electorial agent for Faz Zahir. Very laid back. A nice bloke, unless Man Utd lose. Which is quite often, really. Nick Lambert - Self-styled sexgod. Chairman of Tequila. Shark. Louise Grogan - Canadian. Plays the Cello. Works for Amnesty. DSG hackess Woody Bild -SWSS forerunner of Mubin Haq, who seemed to loose heart last year. Gethin Roberts - General Manager of the Union, and a nice guy. The School Spy - Doesn't need a lot of explaining this one, really. Sits at the back to make sure we don't revolt. As if! Union Jack- Columnist in the Beaver who is here to protect and serve the Union, Identity remains a secret but you can rest assured that it's not Ron Voce. Disclaimer This is a joke. I repeat, this is a joke. It's not supposed to be taken seriously, matey. It's a well known fact that once you'Ve been elected to the Exec, you lose all your sense of humour. This article was orignally intended to be published in Faz's 'Quick Guide To The UGM' but because the Exec, are a bunch of picky bastards with no sense of humour it was handed over to us. If any of the Exec, wish to dispute this article then feel free to do so, after-all, it's not like you've got anything better to do. I mean, you weren't elected to run the Student Union were you? Of course not!