Th© B©3v©r
The Students' Union Newspaper of the London School of Economics
November 9th, 1992
Issue 365

Recession Bites at
L.S.E.
by Pernilla Malmfalt
The LSE
Student's Union has come to feel changes in the consumption of students. Whereas the school this year has had an increase in number of students which would point toward an increase in revenue in the Three Tuns, the Cafe and the Union Shop the sales figures have remained at last year's levels. This indicates that a growing number of students are actually spendinglessper head.
This seems to be the case above all for the Union shop, who has installed a third till to cope with the increased number of customers. The offer made by the Financial Times to subsidise the price from 60 pence to 12 pence for all universities around the UK has definitely attracted many more students to the shop, says Jean Lupton, Assistant Manageress of the shop.
She does, however, point towards trend of less spending.
"Although we are only one month into the term and things can still turn around, there seems to be a pattern of more students who are spending less money."
Asked whether she knew which products the students are cutting down on, she said it was too early to distinguish such a trend.
The exact sales figure for this term are not yet availablebutMiss Lupton insisted that sales have not gone down in the shop but remained stable, which in turn means a relative decline.
A similar picture is found in the Three Tuns. Jim Fagan, the manager, first pointed to the potential trend for students to be cutting down on expenditure. This, he said, does not seem to affect the Monday to Friday visits to the bar but more the evening "gigs" or special events which may have

1,01' ^ • t*


im t
an entry charge. He was generally disappointed of the low turnout at such events but recognised the financial burdens which may have hit some of the students this year, induced by the bad economic climate of today.
Mr Fagan pointed out how the un-encouraging job market has had an in direct effect on the sales of the Tuns Bar. In previous years anyone who graduated from the LSE with any kind of second class honours was guaranteed immediate em-
ployment. Todaythere are no such guarantees and more students seem to feel the pressure of having to perform to get a better degree. Hence, he said, they spend less time in the bar and more time in the library. Even among first year students this more serious approach can be noticed.
John Spurling, the Finance Secretary of the student union, was inclined to agree with Mr Fagan. He also stressed the changing pattern of new students at the LSE. He
pointed out that the high increase in post-graduate students will not do the Three Tuns Bar any favours as these students generally have heavier workloads and less time for their social life. He added that the increase in overseas students tends to mean a moving away from the traditional British studentlife characterised by social evenings in the student pub, as foreign students are often eager to explore other parts of London.
Generally the reaction
from the union is one of slight disappointment that the growing number of students does not equal growing sales. This must be attributed to the effect that the recession, an uncertain future and a competitive job market are havingon students today, both in terms of less spending-money and more time spent studying.
As sales have remained static the union does not appear to be headingfor a loss as yet.
By Tony Thirulinganathan
DSG campaign on Underfunding takes off
The last Union General Meeting saw the Democratic Socialist Group raising a motion on Overcrowding	and Underfunding. The DSG hopes to publicize this motion through the UGM and leaflets which are to be distributed among students of the School.
Peter Harris, the Welfare and Equal Opportunities Officer (WEOF) who also happens to be a member of the DSG "fully" supports this motion. He believes that the School should concentrate more on the students' needs and less on "cosmetic considerations". He thinks that
the School has sufficient funds to satisfy student needs. His argument is that the School can very well afford to payfor much better student facilities if it can pay for MFI decorations.
The DSG leaflet claims that the library, Brunch Bowl, lectures and even
classes are prominent examples of overcrowded areas in the School. According to the WEOF there's an acute shortage of text books for courses at the Masters level and computer terminals are often insufficient. An instance of the former was highlighted at a meeting
of the staff-student committee of the Economics Department last year.
The DSG claims its demands are realistic and thinks that the Committee of Vice-Chancellors and Principals (CVCP) "can domore".The WEOF is expected to urge the Director to initiate a na-
tion-wide campaign against the higher education policy of the government. Veteran member of the DSG, Bob Gross was not available for comment (even at the Three Tuns).
The General Secretary, FazileZahir feels that the DSG should work together with the School instead of maintaining an "enough is enough" stance in this issue. She is also skeptical regarding the successful implementation of this motion. Nevertheless she concedes that the successful implementation ofthis motion would benefit the student community at large.
Inside this issue	t Glenda Jackson	Ken Livingstone	L.S.E. Security	New Beaver	ClassiJ^eds
	visits LSE	& Keith Vaz	Alert	Competition	
	Page 2	Page 4	j Page 7	Page 11	Page 15
2 News
Union Jack
Glory Be! We at LSE are entered upon th6: silly season. The griping and sniping bemoaned by Jack passeth into dim memory. Elections have come and gone. Our feuds be ended, and we head for the great Tent Meeting that is our Unholy God-damned Mess (UGM). Feel the Power!
Taking to the pulpit, Pon tiff Faz barkened unto the; Dark Future of Voluntary Membership. Acolyte PHarri s sough11 odging removed from Lon don Town for our Palestinian scholar and his family over the holidays. Alter-acolyte Jonni, He of the Good Man-ners; th anked Chris Short, th e Officer Who Returneth, and the: sixteen mi.sguided .souls who felt that the Court ofThose Who Govern needed the Bollocks of the Dog. :
Questions from Heretics bear no further scrutiny, save Spirited interchanges of the ribald nature ber tween Those Who Sitteth on the Right andThose Who Sitteth Elsewhere.
Loi On to the Motions of Bu.siness of Priority. Dominique the Light, She of the Hair of the Colour of the WineofMogen-David, brought to passa Plagueon Intolerance. Jamsheda Ahmad,: She Who Seeks Divine Spiritual Guidance (DSG), called down a second: plague, lest the one from The Light have been not enough.: Jack,:'He of This Affected Style of Writing, pondersiwhatshe meantby'gay or lesbian men'in her invoc£iti6n to the assembled.
There might have ended the Motionsof Business of Priority, save for the intercession of Acolyte Pharris who taketh not nay for an answer. Yearning for Learning (Trans, for our lay members: 'Higher Edu-: cation Funding.') For We Have Been to the Mountof Steve and from its Peake we bring the Command^ ments to Pharaoh, He of the Worth of A.sh, to Let Our People Know! To the Peake called outavoicefrom the cheap seats: 'We just hate you, that's all.^
Those Who Sitteth to the Left: Further than: Most sought to bash upside the heads Those Who Sitteth to theLeflButNot So Far. Doth the Cult of DSG admit the: folly: of-not seizing:^ P^ in :the House of Connaught last year? Nay^ sayeth Gavin, our Fall from the Garden of the Hall ofthe County rcnderslife different now. Woe!
Further Woe! Suke, She of the Jawbone of an Ass, sought in vain to rewrite portions of Our Text, for Pharaoh ; remains hardened in his heart. Jack knowethiihoweveri that when Pharaoh came down from seeing Godin theLittleTown of Brighton (Jack knows others who saw Him there, but that was at the Club bf: Zap;: worry	for they too came: down),
Phar£toh were mightily off-pissed that the Stock of Learning could be sold short by the moneylenders in the Temple.
Further strife and blasphemy! AH Nikpay, He of th e Path of th e Man of th e - Bull . sought to pi ace th is onus with the Pontiff Zahir and not the Acolyte Pharris becausehfebenotdivine enough for the glory. PHarrisdecreed that all among the Disciples shall be deemed equal, and tMt his hands would become dirty sothatthose ofOurPontiffmightremain clean. With Ali: vanquished, we allowed that taking over the Pharaoh's Castlemight still be necessary and put Our Seal onto Our Business.
Th.......lesson ::concludeth with a preaching : to the
unholiest of the unholy> he that be known as Martin Stupid, Those who sitteth in the congregation felt a little aggrieved that Martin be not dragged to the al tar with nowt but a sack about his loins; : so it came to pass. It h as been said that the folio wers be a funny gathering, and Martin was no different.: Oh exceeds: ingly obnoxious and arrogant git!
Here Endeth the Lesson, ^
Selah.
Glenda Jackson at
LSE
Glenda Jackson, Labour MP for Highgate and Hampsteadheld atalk on "Whose Wealth, Whose Interest ?" at the LSE on the Monday of last week. The talk had been organised by the Chaplaincy in the lecture series called "Private Affairs: Public Morality".
Jackson began by describing her trip to Ethiopia in 1985, which shehad made for Oxfam in order to look at long-term projects ofthe charity. On different examples she described how on the micro-level little projects which only cost us a small amount of money could "transform life" in the Third World. She claimed that on the macro-level two-thirds of the world supported us in the Western countries.
On the issue of social justice she said that there was a deepening gap between "the haves and the have-nots in our society."
By Jaap Breugem
This she called an "appaling state eight years before the 21st century."
Referring to the British society she thought it "monstrous, immoral and obscene" that there was an implicit acceptance of the social problems. In particular she referred to th e probl em s of th e h ome-less, where in her view the society had moved to a position ofhow do we best manage the problem" instead ofsolvingit. All this, Jackson said, was caused by "the attitude of owing the first responsibility to oneself." From her perspective the greatest diminution of wealth was in terms of the loss of moral and social health and wealth of the country.
Concerning the Third World debts she said that the money owed by developing countries was "funny money", as most of it was accumulated interest. In order to help the developing countries, a
"real market price had to be paid" for their prod ucts. Imports from those countries should not just be restricted to raw mate rials. It was possible to have sustainable development in the developing countries, as long as one did "not loose patience". On the micro-level she pointed to several encour-aging small projects, which initially might seem "green and crazy" but which - in her eyes -were another case of a "small change here, a big change there."
Changes, however, could only come about if the general public pressed for those changes to be implemented. She added that it had been seen during the debate on pit closures that public opinion played a big role. Jackson emphasised that the public should equally insist on changes of this countries policy towards the Third world.
US-Students on Election night
By Mark Dantos
Last Tuesday night as millions around the globe watched the proceedings of the U.S. presidential election, pockets of LSE students convened to share the excitement with each other. Residence halls such as Passfield and Carr-Saunders found small groups huddled around BBC's coverage of the event which began close to midnight. Rumours of an "election party" at the Three Tuns proved false because John Bradburn, Societies and Entertainmants Officer of the Student Union had failed to organi se and prepare the party in time. Instead, students gathered in smaller numbers to watch on the TVs provided as part of the residence hall common room. When asked what the scene was like in Passfield, one resident responded that there were
only about "twenty people, mostly Americans, and generally pro-Clinton".
Carr-Saunders residence echoed this description when asked about their hall's election night. The lack of a designated convention area at a school social focal point like TheTuns contributed to the dispersal of viewers around London.
However, the Beaver College program headquarters at Palace Court just off Bayswater was host to over 70 American students over the course of the late evening and early morning. LSE students were well represented at this election party complete with champagne and streamers.
A pro-Clinton majority grew pleased as the election went on and Clinton sewed up the presidency.
With the commencement of coverage around midnight here most viewers only watched long enough to be assured of the results. For many this meant go ing to bed around 2 AM after Clinton had surpassed 200 electoral votes and was well on his way to steaming towards vie tory. LSE students politi cal sentiment seemed to reflect the national trend in the United States. Clinton supporters talked about the need to rebuild America's infrastructure over the next four years as the first priority. The economy, the educational system and the health care issues were included in this assessment. Bush supporters like LSE's John Utley expressed a different message, "Its goingtobejustlike Jimmy Carter. See how happy you are in four years. . .
\ I
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
News in
Brief
Delight controversy
Some controversy was created last week by a banner put up by Dominique Delight. The controversy related to a statement of "Only a dead fascist is a good fascist". Many students saw this as an incitement to violence. Delight confirmed this viewby sayingthatit was "completely justified to beat up fascists." She added that murderingfas-cists was justified and repeated that "only a dead fascist is a good fascist."
No interest in NUS
Lorna Fitzsimmons, General Secretary of NUS, came to visit LSE on Wednesday afternoon. Initially a lecture had been planned for three o'clock in the Old Theatre. Less than ten students came to the event. In a subsequent meeting Zahir pointed out that she planned to held a referendum on NUS next term and she indicated her willingness to help Fitzsimmons in her campaign. Zahir said that she was confident that a referendum was going to result in a vote in favour of NUS. Fitzsimmons agreed with Zahir that a campaign targeting LSE-Director Ashworth, LSE-alumni, lecturers, MP's and even Students' parents should be launched this week in order to influence the government not to put its proposals into practice
An Apology
"I would like to apologise to Alsion Slaven of the LSE Liberal Democrats whose name was omitted from te list of candidates for the Student Health Committee on the ballot paper. This was caused by an unfortunate clerical error. I would also like to thank the Liberal Democrats for accepting the mistake in good faith and for not insisting that the election should be re-held."
Chris Short (Returning Officer)
Associates STRATEGY CONSULTING
&
Are you looking to start your career in business?
^...How can I gain exposure to a variety of different industries? Where can I learn about some of the latest management tools? Who will give me the level of responsibility I am looking for? And what exactly is strategy consulting?...''
...If you have ever asked any of these questions while considering your career options, you may be interested in talking to us about opportunities in strategy consulting. Braxton Associates is a leading international management consulting firm, specialising in corporate and business unit strategy, with a client base of large multinational and blue chip companies. We are the strategy consulting division of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu International, one of the world's largest professional service firms.
We are seeking:
•	The very best graduates from any background, with:
•	Analytical/quantitative skills
•	European languages, especially German, French, Spanish, Italian,
Russian and Swedish
We can offer:
•	A fast growing company committed to employee development
•	Exposure to a wide range of business issues
•	A high level of responsibility and involvement
•	An international work environment
•	A highly competitive salary, bonus and benefits package
CAREERS PRESENTATION
Monday, 16 November 1992, 7:00 pm The New Connaught Rooms, Great Queen Street, London WC2
near Holborn Underground Station
For more information, please see your Careers Service for our brochure, or contact
Ingrid Firminger, Braxton Associates Ltd, 90 Long Acre, London WC2E 9RA,
--(Tel: 071-334-0088) Please apply by c.v. before 6 January 1993
DeloitteTouche Tohmatsu
International	Boston London Los Angeles Paris Munich Melbourne Tokyo
4 News/Womens
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
Labour MPs visit the
LSE.
Last Tuesday saw the visitofKeith VazMP and Ken Livingstone MP as part of the Student's Union week of anti-racism. While Vaz has made his name as a supporter of the BCCI collapse victims, Livingstone has become famous both during his time as leader of the Greater London Council and - in the view of some -as scourge of both Labour and Conservative parties alike.
Speaking first, Vaz started by reminding those present of the 1968 Enoch Powell speech in which he said that by 1992 black people would have the 'whip hand' in this country. He observed that not only was this evidently untrue but Britain still had a very long way to go before becoming a tolerant multicultural society. He criticized the Home Secretary Kenneth Clarke for introducing the Asylum Bill which he claimed would further curtail the rights of entry for asylum seekers, and restrict the right of appeal for those whose application had
been rejected. Vaz described the bill as a "political gimmick to satisfy the worst supporters of the Government."
Moving on from legislation, Vaz mentioned statutory bodies that had been instigated to combat racialism. Both the Commission for Racial Equality and the Equal Opportunities Commission were described by him as fine in theory but lacking the muscle or resources to operate effectively.
Perhaps the most im-portantsign of an increase in ethnic vociferousness had been the way that minorities are now prepared to stand up for themselves and demonstrate on such issues as the Salman Rushdie affair and the BCCI collapse.
Ken Livingstone broadened the debate by comparing Britain's progress on anti racism to that in the USA and Europe. He felt that we were behind the former who in the last 30 years had taken large strides forward on the issue. In political terms this
By
Phillip Gomm
was the result of pressure from the Democratic party who had attacked more conservative views. Livingstone was not so impressed with Europe who were lagging behind the UK and he cited the German Social Democratic party's indifference to the future of Turkish women immigrant workers in the Federal Republic and the rise of the National Front in France.
Continuing the European theme, Livingstone mentioned the'terrifying* wording of clause 103 in the Maastricht treaty which he saw as tantamount to embodying racism.
Summingup, he praised the work of the Anti-Fas-cist-Alliance and appealed to minorities to ensure thattheir voice was heard.
Peter Harris,the Chair of the meeting, was "pleased with the turn out, though disappointed that the questions that followed were less than spontaneous and seemed
to be more like pre planned left wing rhetoric."
I
I

Ken Livingstone: Pictxired speaking at The School last Tuesday
Good & the Bad
This section of the column will from now on, be dedicated to reviewing/ reproducing news stories that have a specific interest to women. Ifyou want to send a cutting in just leave it in the Women's Officers Pigeonhole in E65.
GOOD NEWS: A new CERVICAL CANCER TEST developed could raise detection rates by 95%. Hydrolised DNA Assay (HDA) instantly locates cancerous or precancerous cells with a dye. Leader of the study programme at University College's Galton Laboratory, Dr Andrew Sincock, saidthe HDA test process has been refined by computer enabling up to 100 tests to be carried out in the time it takes one Pap test to be studied under a microscope;
...& the BAD NEWS: Dozens of women have died because of the inaccuracies of the Department of Health approved smear tests. Death rates from the disease have stayed at 2,000 a year. This month survivors lobbied the Commons at the
launch of a £480,000 appeal to fund a clinical trial to prove the accuracy of the HDA process. The funding would ensure a large-scale four-centre study of 2,000 women, with the aim of reducing the amount of women dying after they have been given false negative tests.
ACTION: Con tact, Jean Pitt, founder of the five year-old charity Quest for a Cancer Test. {Source: Ev. Std. 29110192)
GOOD NEWS: The UK has a higher percentage of women working than any other European country (apart from Denmark) as was revealed by the 1992 edition of Women and Men in Britain . About 52% of women in the UK are economically active - that is, considered to be part of the working population, whether in or out of work. Not unsurprisingly, the UK tops the chart again with the result that 86% of part-timers in the workforce are women. In 1990, nearly 15 million women worked part-time in the European Community, 5 million of whom were in
Britain.
...& the BAD NEWS;
The results published by the Equal Opportunities Commission also demonstrate that the earnings gap between men and women in major EC countries is at its highest in Britain. In general, women in British industry received 69% of gross hourly male earnings, compared with 85% in Denmark. Furthermore, the tendency for part-time jobs to be lowly paid is an important factor in the persistent gap between men and women's earnings. Sadly, although Governmentneedstogive a lead to employers, it's own 'House' is not yet in order. The proportion of women representatives in the lower houses of European parliaments averaged 13%, the figure in the Commons was only 9% (despite a rise in the number of female MP's from 44 to 60 after the april election). Women and Men in Britain 1992; Equal Opportunities Commission; HMSO; £10.95. {source; Indpt. 20110192)
Secret of Joy
Fran Jacobson
Alice Walker's latest novel is an exposure of the nature and form of ritual clitoridectomy/exci-sion, euphemistically known as "bathing". Writing as sharply as the tsunga's knife ('tsunga' beingthe woman who performs the surgery). Walker forces the reader to experience the pain of the traditional female initiation ceremony. This act of genital mutilation, which is still practiced globally, is then further pushed to the boundaries of our consciousness in order to allow some comprehension of the symbol-
Llxxnm^ Events
10/11/92: (TUE) 1pm Women's Group. Video on the pornography issue. Discussion. Those interested in writing a short article on any issue, please ask for Sian Evans or leave a note C/o Women's Officer at the SU Reception E65.
ism of the act, which even now defines the position of women within African society.
This is the main theme of the book, which is the story of Tashi (a minor character from 'The Colour Purple'), her journey from Africa to America and her struggle for sanity. Walker also explores the connection between Africans and diasporic black people, the relevance of psychoanalysis for black people, the relationships between black and white women and AIDS in Africa.
Despite (or perhaps because of) the clarity of the writing, 'Possessing the
12/11/92: (THU) UGM 'CRISIS' MOTION on IRISH ABORTION ISSUE: The date of the referendum has been brought forwar by one week, it is therefore of the utmost importance to attend the UGM. If you would like to lend your support to the cause you can do so by donating money either at the Stu-dentUnion Cafe/reception or alternatively at the
Secret of Joy' is a difficult book to read. Relentlessly slicing the vagina, the style is uncompromising in its'intent to make the reader identify with Tashi's physical and emotional pain. However, Walker manages to infuse her writing with enough spirituality to enable us to survive and to begin to glimpse the secret of joy.
ACTION: Foundation for Women's Health (FORWARD)
The Africa Centre,38 King Street, Covent Garden, London WC2
Weekly: Chaplaincy Women's Group, 5.30pm K51,
UGM. There will be collections in theThreeTuns. 14/11/92: (SAT) 7.30 pm Andrea Dworkin talks on PORNOGRAPHY. Conway House, Red Lion Square, London WCl. (five mins from LSE past Holborn Tube Station). 28/11/92 (SAT) Intl. day to end violence against women.'women only', meet 1.30pm at Reformers Tree, Marble Arch, march to Trafalgar .
I

/
At STA Travel we're all seasoned travellers so we should know a thing or two about where you're headed. We can offer you the best deals on fares with the flexibiltiy to change your mind as you go - and we have special deals for students. We operate from over 100 offices worldwide. So call in soon.
Return from:—
Amsterdam	£75
Athens	£148
Bangkok	<£432
Boston	£192
F rankfurt	£65
Hong Kong	£495
Madrid	£105
New York	£192
Paris	£75
Rome	£136
Singapore	£518
Sydney	£706
London School of Economics East Building London WC2
I ATA
ABTA
99209
ULU TRAVEL
I
6 Photo Week
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
•woumowHiB
ANTI-
Imanil

vMmi
JfES
And a Sunday Morning at Brick Lane

r-i 1
?
Photos by Steve East

Just Another U.G.M.
By Thorsten Moos
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
The Terror
Cciitiiiues
In 1986, when the National Resistance Movement (NRM) took power in Uganda, the names Idi Amin and Milton Obote were relegated to the history books of a bloody past. Twenty years of civil war in Uganda had destroyed the economy, and left many with the scars and stories of gross human rights violations. Nevertheless, there was a sense of optimism in Uganda, at the United Nations, and at Amnesty International as the new president of Uganda, Yoweri Museveni, pledged that "The Uganda Government under the National Resistance Movement (NRM) begins first and foremost with the unwavering commitment to the respectofhuman rights.."
Six years later, over 40 soldiers have been executed at the hands ofthe government, and death by firing squad is not uncommon. Anti-government rebels routinely rape, abduct, murder and mutilate those who resist cooperation. Amnesty International reports that the rebel United Democratic Christian Army is respon sibl e for th e death s ofhundredsofciviliansin the north of Uganda, and for injuries such as hav-inghands, nose, ears, and lips hacked off.
TheNRMgovernment's "unwavering commitment to human rights" is centered aroun d using th e death penalty as a deterrent for serious crimes. Convictions for rape, murder, and treason lead automatically to a death sentence. In a country in which 63 people were last year detained for five months before before be-ingcharged with treason, the chances of a fair and prompt trial are small.
This Thursday Amnesty LSE will be writing letters in the Quad on behalf of Ugandan prisoners of conscience . Please take five minutes to write a letter. It won't change your life, but it could well change some one else's.
Louise Grogan
L.S.E.
7 Campus
Jerome Harris looks at the problem of security at L.S.E. • J A 1 4-	light of the incidents
wMch occurred last week
During the past week there has been a worry-ingincrease in the number of daytime incidents at L.S.E. involvingintruders and stafFand students. An illustration of this occurred at 2.50pm on Monday 2nd November when the Postgraduate and Mature Students Officer, Mr Reza Mahmoud encountered a drunken man attempting to enter the womens' toilets near A46 in the Old Building. Reza had to forcibly prevent the man from entering the toilets (which contained a
lone female overseas student) and when he questioned the man as to his identity theman firstpre-tended to be a student an d then asked for money -saying that he had not eaten for a week, Reza escorted him out of the building.
During the week the S.U. Manager, Gethin Price also (bravely andhe-roically,accordingtohim) removed two people from the East Building, one of these became violent and abusive and the porters were called to help eject
him. Jean Claude, the Manager of the Cafe also had occasion to expel a drunken man from the Cafe.
Possibly one ofthe most concerning incidents occurred on Thursday, it involved a female student who on coming out of the womens toilets in the St. Clements building was accosted by two drunk men who first demanded money, and when she refused, gave her verbal sexual harrassment. This incident happened at around 5pm and there was
no-one around to help and after escaping, this student informed the porters.
Daytime security has been in effect at L.S.E. in the past, during the summer the school employed two daytime security guards who patrolled the building to protect the staff and prevent the theft of computers and other equipment. Since Freshers week this security has stopped, and in spite of a recent escalation of the intruder problem the school authorities have refused to reinstate any
such measures. The administration	has commisioned an outside security firm to review school security, the report is due to be presented in two weeks' time, and although daytime security is not under consideration the administration claims it will make the school a "safe area". It must be stressed that these are only those cases which were reported, and the nature of this problem, though obviously severe, is difficult to quantify.
Emergency phone number (LSE internal phones)
666
Screech alarms
available for a £1 deposit from the SU reception
m
A cynic writes
October comes around once more and before much of the month has passed, a Freshers mind (allegedly -JH) turns to love (or is it sex? Delete as applicable), - though that's not to say its necessarily a new thought for most certainly not in this age of enlightenment and pre pubescent sophistication. No, the real attraction ofthis time of life for the Fresher is the lure of easy coupling, which though it may be a myth ,isonethatisrarely dispelled by the more ex-perienced(?) members of University life and perennially believed, or atleast hoped for, by the new comer.
Clutchingtheir plethora of event tickets (cheaper if you buy early and in
bulk) the Freshers gather wit their new found friends to plan their assault on college society. The comedy night may be funny (or otherwise!), but will it get us noticed (and not just by the comic who spies our zits breaking through the layers of makeup) or would a quiet drink in the refined atmosphere of the Three Tuns be preferable?? Well the drink may be quiet but that's about all thatis in the Trois Barrels each holding 210 gallons. In small groups are the first years clutchingtheir pints of cider and lager, wary of both each other (who will committhefirstfaux pas) and also the prowling groups ofbeen there, done that, 2nd and 3rd years (amazing how worldly
wise and m ature they suddenly become , NOT!); this could be Custer's last stand revisited; circling savages (no offence to Red Indians) picking off disorientated stragglers at will.
Besides the younger Freshers we must also consider the large contingent of mature students and postgrads. These (allegedly - JH) sad people cannot face the prospect of ever being over 25, let alone 30 something! They haplessly chase a youth now lost forever. Unsuccessfully they look for relationships with nubile yougsters, forlornly hoping that they have the Michael Winner touch. Alas, most are doomed to failure as their increased maturity (if only in age
and not actions) unsuccessfully competes with the wrinkles, receding hairlines and failing eyesight.
But hold on, is this picture of events totally true? Maybe not. Perhaps the Freshers aren't as vulnerable as first thought. Perhaps they don't all want immediate carnal knowledge of the same sex (or even the same sex). Perhaps some have come to the LSE to concentrate on their studies and not to offer their hearts to the 'raping' and pillaging hoards. Perhaps the reason the 2nd and 3rd years are forced to trawl the waters is because they never actually got IT (no not information technology) in the last year; but who will we get to ever
admit this.
Similarly aren't I being rather harsh on the older generation? Well maybe, but then they should be old enough to take it! Anyway who wants to be a spotty, shy teenager again (ME!). Good luck to one and all in the love/sex/romance stakes, and just remember that without the lows in life (continual rejections) you can't enjoy the highs (bollocks!).
Phil Gomm
If Alexi, who ujrote us the scathing letter aboutth e Beauer re -design, is so shit-hot at using a dtp then maybe toouJi like to Join (?(7/"prodijc-t i on t e a in i ns t sad ofwhinging about
our ivorf^
8 Opinions
The Beaver
Last week we saw two motions passed in the UGM on the same topic; discrimination. While one dealt with Anti-Racism Week the other dealt with discrimination as a whole, except it left one vital area out: religion.
It was ironic that both motions were passed on November 5th, a day when the protestants of England celebrate the persecution of Catholics. It seems strange to me that even the most radical and right on members of this Union turn a blind eye towards the events that occur every year. Most of them probably went to a Bonfire that evening. Let's not be two-faced in the future because Catholics like myself really do get offended at remarks such as "Here Neil, we need a Catholic to burn. You'll do!"
'On a more lighter note, Rag Week raised well over £600 last year and this was divided equally between the three charities. But don't relax just yet because next year's Rag Week is under preperation even as we speak! So, if you'd like to get involved then why not go along to the Rag Society meeting this Tuesday at 6pm, room A47. The Rag Mag also needs contributions, so if you know any good jokes then why not pop them into the Beaver Office, in room E197, or go along to the meeting on Tuesday. After all, we do an awful lot of good work for charity, don't we.
Executive Editor Managing Editor News Editor Campus Editor j Features Editor I Food & Drink Editor ; Arts Editors
Music Editor Sports Elditor ; Photographic Editors
Financial Director
Neil Andrews | Kevin Green i Hans Gutbrod I Jerome Harris i Paul Bou Habib i Steve Thomas; Navin Reddy i Geoff Robertson i Neil Andrews; Daniel Beharall Steve East i Thorsten Moos i T. James Brown ,
Staff; Selman Ahmad, Jamsheda Ahmad, Tom ' Aubury, Emma Bearcroft, George Binette, Nigel Boyce, Johnny Bradburn, Mark Dantos, Sarah Ebner, Sian Evans, John Fenton-Fischer, Tesher Fitzpatrick, Nick Fletcher, Sarah Jane Gibbs, Gavin Gilh am, Ph il li p Gomm, An drew Gra veson, Bob Gross, Madeline Gwyon, Justin Harper, Peter Harrad, Gerard Harris, Becky Harthup, Uncle Rob Hick, Eduardo Jauregui, Toby Johnson, Steve Kinkee, Martin Lewis, Chris Longridge, Stavros Makris, PernillaMalmfalt, Adrian May, Emmanuel Ohajah, Sarah Owen, David Price, Zaf Rashid, Steven Roy, Bella Sleeman, Ian Staples, Ron Voce, Ralph Wilde, Stuart Wilkes. Carolyn Wilson, Suke Wolton, Faz Zahir.
Printed by Eastway Offset,
3-13 Hepscott Road,
London E9
Poste Haste
Letters due to E197, by hand or internal mail, by 4pm Wednesday
NB The views expressed in this letter are my personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of the LSE Liberal Democrats or any other Liberal Democrat group.
Umbrella Sour
A Liberal Grapes?
State of Mind
Dear Beaver,
As a member of the Liberal Democrats, I would like to express my general agreement with AOB, issue 364. I was pleased to see that the elections were dominated by the "centre" parties; the Liberal Democrats and DSG, which gained the second greatest and greatest number of seats respectively. Even though the ability of the elected candidates to actually make any real impact is limited, taking part in the school democracy is important, ifonlyinthehope that it will lead to the students getting a real say in the running of the School at some time in the future.
But student politics is fairly impotent at the moment, so what is there beyond the narrow confines of Houghton Street into the world at large. Local, national and European elections effect us all, and the major parties are only too happy to have volunteers for their cause. Internally, certainly in the Liberal Democrats, policy is made by the party members so individuals have the opportunity to influence it if they wish. National pressure groups can also effect government policies, but many are, in reality, ineffective as they are just ignored.
Student politics is not without achievements (though normally only in matters directly related to students) but much of it is pointless and seems to be undertaken for personal prestige, to boost the ego of the participant or just for something to put on a CV.
To anyone who is interested in makingthe world a better place, whether at a local, national or international level, I urge you to look beyond student politics. No matter what your political beliefs are, you can probably make a difference if you make the effort.
To all those who persevere with student politics in the hope of doing some good, I wish you the best of luck, but I'm afraid I can't hold out much hope for you.
Iain Roberts.
Dear Beaver,
I was saddened by the crude inaccuracies in your article "Sweet Little Sixteen" in issue 364. As the agent for the Umbrellas group in these elections, I feel a number of points need to be clarified. The article stated the reformed Umbrella group was made up ofthose students who failed to get elected last time round". This is complete rubbish; of the 11 candidates we stood, to my knowledge only two of them lost in the elections in March. One of them is me, and the other Steve John and we both lost very narrowly. I wasn't even an Umbrella candidate th en. Most of our candidates for this election were people who were new to the LSE political scene and who in my opinion were often a damn sight better than most of the other candidates standing. I don't honestly believe that the election of such people as Paul Trivett (solely elected due to being top of the list), Ralph Wilde (1st year opportunist party) and John McCarthy (I waste Wednesday afternoon in the Library club) is going to help the student influence on the school committees.
The LSE is going through an important crossroads; we can either surrender to the director's vision of a graduate school for rich kids or we can oppose that. The DSG seems to vacillate wildly (well, if they do introduce tuition fees, we'll send a joint memorandum to the director condemning his actions or we might consider some extra studentshipsinstead),the Torys (sic -NA) seem to be wishy washy yes-men, and the left seems to be made up of people who do actually oppose these new m easures (th at's why th ey did so well), but seem to be reduced to shouting empty slogans (let's wait for th e re vol uti on, or a La -bour government). It can hardly be any wonder that most students are apa-thetic-look at the choices!
In the Umbrellas group we aimed to change that by bringing independently minded candidates under a joint set of policies that we all agreed on, such as reducing queues to the library, extending the Brunch Bowl seating
area and most of all opposing masters fees increases for EC and UK students. Naturally there were varying levels of commitments to these policies; to claim that a group of independents could be united as a political association is obviously untrue. Butthefun-damental point was to allow capable people to have a chance to have a say in the running of their own university, which surely is the whole point of democracy. I was particularly angered by the suggestion we were only do-ingitforourCV's. Itseems unfair to suggest that the Umbrella candidates were any more doing it for their CVs than those in the DSG (such as those wh 0 swan off to Israel during the campaign) and the Torys (sic -NA) (who are proud ofgettingit on their CVs).
I believe it is time that the students of LSE could take student politics seriously by having a group of candidates actually capable of doing something. Perhaps the Umbrellas group wasn't that group at this election, but it believes we deserve credit for trying to push student issues back into the political arena rather than outdated political bickering.
Timothy Lewis
Agent, Umbrellas Group
Tim, last week's article was a joke....
Thanks For The
Memory
Dear Beaver,
I should like to use your columns to thank all those that voted DSG in the recent elections. All DSG voters should know that they have elected candidates that will oppose the continual overcrowding and underfunding at the school wherever possible. The DSG asks the school to get over the setback of losing County Hall by announcing definite plans to expand the Houghton Street site, the Library and Student facilities.
All DSG committee members will be asking their respective committees to oppose underfunding and overcrowding, whether they sit on the Library Committee, Catering Services or Court of Governors. Hopefully by the time you read this you will have had the chance to sign a petition calling for united school opposition to the underfunding and overcrowding of LSE.
Yet again it is the DSG that is taking the initia-
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
tive. The DSGhas opposed Masters Fee increases of £5000 and proposals to make Union membership fee paying. Now the DSG is taking the lead on the most pressing issue facing the LSE. Those who share our concerns of improving conditions and enlarging student rights are welcome to attend our weekly meeting Monday A42 l-2pm. Tony Banks MP will be speaking 12-1 A42 Monday 9th November. Other guest speakers are planned.
Thanks for your support,
Gavin Blackburn,
DSG Chair.
P.S. If any members of LSE Liberal Democrats and Labour Club are interested in debating the motion "An Electoral Agreement between Liberal Democrats and Labour is the best way to defeat th e Conservatives". Please get in touch.
Here endth the lesson.....
Let's Have A Choice
Dear Beaver,
I would be grateful if you would lend me some print space to clear up an apparent misun derstand-ing. The CHOICE Society at LSE is one that is concerned with encouraging and motivating school kids from certain backgrounds and with certain attitudes to continue their education and training after their GCSE's.
1 wish to make this clear because I feel someone, possibly thinking we are a Pro-Choice Group, has been removing our posters advertising our meetings. For those who can remember signing up at Fresh ers' Week or anyon e else interested for that matter, we will now be meeting at 1pm every Tuesday in S75. Please come along - It's good fun and very worthwhile for you and the kids - really!
Thank You
Robin Jouglah
P.S. Did you know the letters in Virginia Bottomley's name can be re-arranged to spell 'I'm an Evil Tory Bigot!'? I know this has nothing to do with anything, but it's such a good anagram, I wanted to share it with you!!!
Can anyone else out there in studentland think of an amusing anagram of a politician's name? If so, send it to us at the usual address.....
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
Splitting Images
Apathy hits several states in the Union
Much has been said recently about the state of union meetings; the two most common complaints seem to be a) continual rantingfrom the hard left, and b) childishness from the balcony. Also prevalent is the view that student apathy at the LSE is a terrible thing. Having spoken tomany firstyears this year, and from my memoriesofbeingone, the reason for this seems to be the idea that the voice of the LSE doesn't really count as a significant political force, so "it doesn't really matter anyway." The usual response to this is"Well what about'68, or Winston Silcott?". Fair enough, on those, and a few other occasions, the LSE did make a difference; in most cases however, the effect of a letter from the Gen. Sec., or a petition from the students to a particular political leader or controversial publ i c fi gure i s surely very small. This is not to say the LSE should stop cam-
paigning for justice, in whateverformitmay take - in fact, th e more th e better - but th at peopl e sh oul d altertheir view of the purpose of the union. It is not just to raise the voice of some social science students in London, but, and I think this is in fact more important than the campaign topic-of-the-week, to politicise the student bodv in general, for many ofwhom the union is their first involvement with active politics. I, for one, and I know there are others, came to the LSE as undecided as regards politics, and through listening to those with strong, informed opinions (from both sides of the political fence) was able to make my mind up for the first time. Ifthiskindof education was to become a part of more students' (or indeed, anyone's) lives, we would in the long term, see a more politicised, clued-up voting body in the country. I say this because I am, as I am sure
many others are, aware of a frightening number of intelligent people who think the news is boring, and made up their minds at election time on the strength of opinions gleaned from 'Spitting Image'.
This is why the student union must allow those with opinions, no matter how strong, to speak. It is also, to return to my opening sentences, why the 'childishnessfrom thebal-cony' must also stay - it is one of the prime reasons many first years attend the UGM's. Therefore it serves the purpose of attracting more students, and although it is also accused of wasting time that could be spent discussing issues of importance, these issues are often, as I have said earlier, not really of vital importance when one considers the 'voice of the LSE'. Maybe, in years to come, the LSE will once again start to attract students who are already politically
sophisticated, and the balcony will die out. That's fine - it served its purpose. In the meantime, students will continue to come to h ear the gags from on high, and throw aeroplanes at those speaking, and at the same time form opinions on the issues being discussed by being confronted by an opinion that makes them think. The union today holds a fine balance between humour and matters of importance (admittedly with humour on the bigger side) and doesn't do too badly. I see things as only improving from now on, and I hope I'm still at the LSE when the student body is so strong a political force that its voice is loud once again. Until then, keep the union informative and entertaining.
BalshazzarThistlewhip
P.S. Bring back the Norseman song soon!
9 Opinions
Election Apology
I would like to apologise to Alison Slaven of the LSE Liberal Democrats for the omission of her name from the list of candidates on the ballot paper for the Student Health Commit' tee. This was due to an unfortunate clerical error, I would also like to thank the Liberal Democrats for accepting the mistake in good faith and for not insisting that the election : should be re-held.
Chris Short
Returning Officer.
mimk.

'Bigmouth
Strikes Again"
"In head to head fights we beat the Umbrellas, we beat the Liberal Democrats, we beat the Conservatives, we usually beat the Left but that was a confused result...."
A confused Peter Harris.
"Fuck off you twat!"
Martin Lewis' response on being asked whether he was obnoxious.
".....Don't you think I'm obnoxious?...."
Martin Lewis confronts a disbeliever.
"Spurting is a tight-fisted wanker"
Fellow Sabbatical, John Bradbum, on being asked about his feelings towards Spurling and his reluctence to buy a PA.
....."Crash and Burn!" _	, -
Mild-mannered Lib Dem, Dave Whetham
Apology
We wish to apologise to Lord Donoughue, a member of the LSE Court of Governors, over last week's front page article, "LSE Governor involved in Maxwell-fraud?", written by Steve Roy and Phillip Gomm.
The opening paragraph contained the line "..was paid £50000 in return for keeping silent....". However, during the typesettingprocess the word "allegedly" was accidently omitted. The line should have read "..was allegedly paid £50000 in return for keeping silent...".
We wish to apologise unreservedly for any distress caused to Lord Donoughue.
Announcement
Nominations for the position of Music Editpr: must be banded in to Neil Andrews by 5pm next Monday. Nominations must be propo^d by a full member of the Beaver Collective.
10 Art
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
What do Arts' Editors Get up
to at the _
Weekend
by Geoff Robertson
For those of you who recall last year's Beavering, you'll remember criticism being levelled at the music pages forbringingreviewof only one ilk - for not being open minded enough to experiment with different mixtures of music. However, we are going to destroy this myth here and now, because I'm going to review to 'events' I saw on last Friday and Saturday night - the "Best of British" DJ's night at the "Ministry of Sound" ( at the Elephant and Castle) and "Metallica" at Wembley Arena respectively. Now if that isn't an open-minded combination, then I don't know what is!
The "Ministry of Sound" is renowned as one of the hottest clubs in Britain, and certainly knocked the proverbial spots off anything like it that I'd ever seen before. It's a (strict) over 21's only club, situated fairly close to Elephant and Castle underground station, inside wh at I suspect to be a con -verted warehouse ofsome sort. The club has a no drugs policy ( which isn't surprising! ) but also has a no alcohol policy (which I was much more disappointed about!). I am told ( by dubious Mancunian sources i.e. the effervescent Jules ) that this is because alcohol is more conducive to falling over than to dancing the night away!
In 'recompense' for the lack of alcoholic beverages, and as well as a soft drinks bar, the club offers "Psychoactive Cocktails" - mostly fruit juice and stuff laced with 'natural' energy giving substances, which is usually Guarana ( excuse my spelling if that's wrong!). In the bar area there is also one part of the musical set up, as DJ's serve a slightly mellower beat than that in the main 'raving' area. Said area is a rather large dance floor with a huge "Ministry
of Sound" logo at one end, with a DJ's stage/ box/call-it-what-you-will.
It, like the bar is decorated with some of the strangest ( but very cool) paintings I've ever seen. They are painted with luminous paints, and depict mostly rollingSci-fi scenes of planets and arid/spooky landscapes.
The club also has it's own mini-cinema, where you can rest your weary leggies and exercise your eyes/ears on a different level. The night we went we could only identify Robocop and The Karate Kid from the selection of clips we walked in and out on. The club also has the huge advantage of serving fresh cream cakes, and apparently also sells frozen yoghurt. This was advertised in the thousands of leaflets lying around as "the taste of ecstasy", but one punter opined to your avid reported "yeah, but ecstasy tastes like shit" - what was he doing tasting shit, readers? What a naughty boy!
I suppose that I should mention who played the night we went - the DJ's were Chris Castle, Nic Loveur, Fat Tony, Phil Perry and either Sacha or Sasha (there was contention over this point). If these names mean 'owt t' thee then all well 'n good lad. Aye. Unfortunately, I didn't recognise any except Sas(c)ha, but I still knew that it was a bloody good time!
Well, after these delights, and catching the first tube home ( about 6.00 a.m.), I retired to bed to sleep until it was time to see Metallica. Having done that, I got up refreshed and ready to rock'n'roll ( as they say in the biz! ). Metallica last returned to these shores ( except for brief Monsters of Rock and Freddie Mercury Tribute stints) over four years ago, I missed them then, but was determined not to now. The only real obstacle to this ambition was the brilliant entrance policy at th e Arena. There were five doors to each section, but only two were open - brilliant
thinking! Apparently this was because to they only had turnstiles for two doors (presumably to save on staffing costs ). Anyway, once we'dbraved the queues outside we got into a sold out Wembley Arena. Tonight, contrary to normal practice, we were not to have a support band. Instead we were treated to a video of the band on tour, in action, recording, etc.,etc. Interspersed in this were comments from the band back stage. James Hetfield told the crowd that they had no support, to jeers, but then announced that this was so they could "kick our asses" for three hours instead. This was a promise they kept with interest!
Their actual set lasted about two hours and forty minutes (without breaks ), but no-one left shortchanged. One of the other special features of this concert was that for the first time, the band were bringing over their full American stage set, which consisted of moving drumkit, a "Snake-pit" INSIDE the stage, covered by gantrys which the band moved around and over. Couple this lot with the TV cameras used to get better close up's of the band and broadcasted on the huge screens around the place and you've got a pretty amazing show lined up.
Metallica needed most of their time onstage just to cover the basic amount of material they use - they have so many good songs and regular covers that the set list is just huge! But, to have a go anyway, I'll list most of the best ones ; opening with "Enter Sandman" and "Creeping Death", they followed with "Harvester of Sorrow", a medley from the "..And Justice For All" album, "The Unforgiven", "Fade to Black", "Sad But True", "Wherever I May Roam", "Whiplash", "Sanitarium ( Welcome Home)", "One", "Seek and Destroy", and so on.... the list is huge!
My personal favourites
of the night were "One", "Fade to Black" an d"Seek and Destroy" ( although the sing-song during this was pretty sad ) closely followed by another twenty or so songs. The most visually and orally impressive was "One", th e first of the second set of encores, introduced with the machine gun fire anc explosions ofWorld War I trench warfare, complete with on stage fireworkS; before the band emergec. through thich smoke play ingthe opening rifFs. This song has to be one of the most powerful ever writ ten (inspired by the film "Johnny got his Gun" of the book ofthe same name ). This is the sort of thing that some of the more vo cal ( usually very blind ) critics of 'heavy metal should be forced to note and made to understand Ok, the Spinal Tap jokes are very funny, and gooc to sell papers, but to imply all these bands follow this lifestyle isjusta little TOO stupid, don't you think? Mind you, all of this is not helped at all by the likes of the G'n'R pub licity wagon for getting your name in the papers as often as possible Metallica took the stage ( literally!) without any of the so-called rock trap pings - dressed in black jeans and plain t-shirts, andwithoutany outstan d ing jewellry. They came to kick our asses as they said, and they did so without any bollocks, except for the rather annoying guitar solo spots for Kirk and Jason (lead and bass respectively ). However, stereotypes are difficult to break, and ea.sy victims for criticism when you don't have much news is no doubt a god-send. Anyway, any press which can glorify The Shamen has got to be suspect! Well, that's enough ranting( for now! ). Metallica were superb, and, by rounding the evening off with a nice Chicken Vindaloo and several pints of lager, plus Keema Nan's of course, you can't really go wrong! Enough said.
Post
Mortem at the Kings Head
Mark Dantos disects Noel Coward
This show opens to the sound of gunfire in the distance. The audience is immediately thrust into the horror and tragedy of World War I trench life, complete with dying soldiers. But to sustain this amount of emotional audience attachment is not an easy task. "Post Mortem" by Noel Coward falls just short, but in doing so, he succeeds in involving the viewers on a more intellectual level. Although the presenta-tionsofthemoralandethi-cal issues found in "Post Mortem" is quite straight forward and often over exaggerated, one has trouble ignoring them.
John Covan ( played by Harry Burton) is shot and killed on the battlefield as the play begins. The year is 1917. The remainder of the ninety minute showfinds John, thirteen years later, returning briefly as a ghost to pay one last visit to the mortals who influenced his life. He starts with his mother and then encounters hisformer fiancee, his army buddies and his father. Each meeting adds to the growing disillusion-
ment of this once ideological young man. John finds the human nature of 1930 to be as twisted as it was in 1917.
Steven Pacey plays my favourite role as Percy Lomas, the realist cynic who, after attempting to make a difference, has given up. His book about th e truthsofwar has been condemned by all the familiar targets of liberal literature, namely the press, the church, and the old. The final exchange between the ideology of John and the realism of Percy encapsulates the power of the play ( however predictable it may be ).
In "Post Mortem", Coward deals with some important issues, including the nature of war and the follies of the church and the state. In an undisguised manner, he presents his views on the subjects and leaves little work for the imagination. One will leave the Kings Head theatre in Islington thoroughly entertained and contemplative, but too emotionally stable, at least for my taste.
"Post Mortem" will, we are told, "shortly" be moving to the West End, so if you're thinking of going, check where it's playing!
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
Chunky Time
Competition
11 Food & Drink
Beer Of The Week
All that has brought on	cent proof and has a won-	space. A couple of bottles
a great thirst and now its	derful fruity taste. At	of this and you will be
time for the beer of the	£2.00 a bottle you can't	anybody's. It is a perfect
week (not weak at all),	say its cheap but it comes	accompaniment to any-
This comes from	in a champagne sized	thing edible (!) including
Sainsbury's and is their	(750ml) bottle and can fill	anotherbottleofthe stuff.
Belgian Ale. It's six per	three tumblers worth of	Enjoy.
imWSCalfaid
1UNS ^ * cttnpteee p«<
An
csnp*f S«f we room
M7£ *ft<i &«£>«	cys
ttZMENH. men tM 6v*afxm,. otrnh.
<»»,	<rf «<«t»ib4c anpft,
Wm 6€C perTi*n«« cokwraM riai%y:'^rc^7^,Oii4.0-.A!ht7. . ' O.lMownyijWa
to Pinifrtt
•":»»o5T.	u<». .imm.
*«neio«« tKe can «n4 myfced wteh tfjic and
PuUk of	tt> Master foods,
EPOST. 7 '8 HvcMt Strw. Ovt>««r» 2. vbrtuHf
e4IOg
0(M»dwHKMt»eitns'v
erf WAITHAM
13
tMonwror. on f»ed»P(| or art CftrtSuH swuoft or wm* ».
THAM	C«nM*. PO 8«« 77,
^POST,	T8R
<^e»Feri»e6 (fit
^^TIONAI
Would you like six of the best in this giveaway competition?
I bet I know one smell students who live away from home are missing. The morning ritual of opening a tin of pet food and letting that wonderful aroma pervade the kitchen and your sensory organs. Not for you the shakingof coffee beans in your hand asyou struggle with the cappuccino machine. That's reserved for the adverts. No, in the morning you are immediately concerned with trying to get rid of that pesky pet that appears unfocussed to your bloodshot morning eyes which is wrapped around your feet and won't stop bleating until its little furry gob is full of Katomeat.
This neatly brings me on to a second point. Now that your grant is wearing down a bit what with food, the bar and those wonderful shows pre-
sented by the student entertainments officer you are starting to worry about fading away. You wander around supermarkets looking at all th e food and wish you were back with mummy and her full cheque account secretly dropping those favourite tins into the trolley while she is examining some-thingmarked NEW! What can you afford these days to eat as you attempt to save some money for Christmas presents. Well now, thanks to this page we are proud to announce The Beaver Pet Food Eating Competition. This competition and the results will enable you to select and enjoy the cheapest possible food in the supermarket. Dismiss the expensive Chicken Tikka, turn your nose up at New Zealand mussels in half shell, we are talk-
ing cheap, filling wholesome food. You will soon bewanderingaroundwith a Chunky Six Pak, and ,thanks to us, will be able to turn it into a glorious meal for two. A delicate lovers meal for those intimate moments. Candles lit, microwave a'buzzing and the feral population outside your room going WILD! But you will know that you have chosen the best thanks to the Beaver.
So next Thursday at 11 a.m. in the Beaver offices, room E197, we will be having a pet food tasting competition. Also on hand will be a Marks and Sparks Cumberland meat pie. Will you be able to tell the differerence? Free drinks (naturally low in alcohol. NOT!) will be available to wash down that puurfect meal. See you there.
Anybody's frui little Belgian
Food Page Puzzle Of The Week
r'
n
Thursday 11am
Food Tasting Gompetition Beaver Office E197
Hi Foodies. Today I want you to examine the two words printed (right) and turn the top one into the bottom one by changing one letter only. It might be a bit of a puzzler to those DSG challenged out there but give it a go.
Answers
(only on fax) to the General Secretary.
/A



12 Music
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
The Magnificent Sevens
The Lion Roars gets a few inches off his chest
Single Of The Week (1)
Wedding Present: The Queen Of Outer Space (RCA)
Fun, fun, fun 'til Daddy takes the:charts away^ Eleven singles:,; eleven hits. To be honest, this isn't the best ofthe bunch but it is the Wedding Present. Not as good as ^Qal i fo rn i a', 1 a fek s;; th e passion of :'Come Play With Me', doesn't: possess the memories of old like-'Sticky' but it still kicks the shite out of everything else here so therefore it shall be sih-gl.> of the week. ISfiCe cover, too, carrying: on th e traditi on of usin g football stars to promote
"Ha, ha. It's all a big con really". The Wedding Present tell the truth
their records: They've used George Best in the: past and Ray Kennedyi i this; time me thinks it's: Alan 'Sniffer' Clarke but jiifyou disagree then tough because Leeds Utd aren't
very good anyway.
All we have to do now is; wait for Number 12 and our collections shall be complete.
Who says all the songs sound the same? •
The Farm: Don't You Want Me (End Product)
Unlike the Fred EP, this lacks style and authenticity, but what do you expect from the Farm? Another cut from NME's 'Ruby Trax' compilation, it may all be going to ch ar-ity but that's no excuse. To prove they're desperate, they've even included a re-mix of'Groovy Train' in order to try and shift a few more units.
KMFDM: Suck (Big Life)
According to one source, KMFDM stands for Kill Mother Fuckers Depeche Mode. A rather ironic name for a band who appear to be sampling every Depeche Mode track since 'People Are People'. The fact they admit to their music being sampled is a tell tale sign that'GetThe Balance Right' will be their next single followed by a radical remix of 'Never Let Me Down'. Irony can be poetry, on occasions. I've a feeling that KMFDM are Vince Clarke and Andy Bell trying to get their own back. After all, you wouldn't see Dave Gahan or Alan Wilder prancing about on stage singing'SOS', would you? Maybe you would.
Miss World: The First Female Serial Killer (Anxious)
Fresh from Dave Stewart's label, the sleeve has a very deceptive cover
inclining towards a band from the Sarah Records Label. "The First Female Serial Killer' is a brilliant title for a record but it overshadows the song which is not bad actually.
The Pale: ShutUp Venus (A&M)
Musically, this sounds like a Madness album filler, circa 'The Rise And Fair, with the bald bloke from Midnight Oil singing. A bad combination if there ever was such a thing, 'Shut Up Venus' is nothing special.
Airstream: Crush (One Little Indian)
Dodgy CD ahoy! Having gone to strenuous efforts to get this CD to play properly, I was disappointed tofindthatit was very dull indeed. A lazy summer song that plods through the open fields, across the running brook filled with cool, crisp water, with the sky blue without a cloud, only to find that Milton Keynes is on the other side of the fence.
J: Born On The Wrong Side Of Town (A&M)
J, for it is he, played everything on this record, provinghis superman status. A fusion of rap/funk/ metal, 'Born On The Wrong Side Of Town' is an excellent record that's likely to get very little airplay because of the nature and the content of
the song. Shame, really.
Mother Earth: Hope You're Feeling Better (Acid Jazz)
Funkateer Attack for the second week running! This would probably have been single of the week if it wasn't for the Fred EP andthe Weddeos. Despite beingan Indiekid, I rather liked it, therefore I'm going to keep it. I bet that surprised a lot of you out there in Funk land. Runner-up Single ofthe Week, me thinks.
Drop Nineteens: Your Aquarium (Hut)
Fresh faced from Boston (Hi Bob), the Drop Nineteens hit fame, but not fortune, amongst the ranks of the music press after they released 'Winona' and the subsequent album, 'Delaware'. Shoe-gazing across the pond, 'Your Aquarium' would be an okay record but the squeaking guitar strings really get on your fucking nerves. 'Hope You're Feeling Better' is a far better record. This simply isn't funky enough, mate.
Inxs: Taste it (Mercury)
Lifted from the Number One album, 'Welcome To Wherever You Are', 'Taste It' isn't as good as their previous efforts. It lacks the grace and style of 'Baby Don't Cry' and the Iggy Pop style vocals
heard on 'Heaven Sent'. Still, it's bound to climb high in the charts, if nothing else. A chart filler that'll probably end up on Now 48 or whatever number they're up to.
Extreme: Stop The World (A & M)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...erm, no.
Motorhead: Hellraiser (Epic)
Not to be confused with Nick	Lambert's
birthd....erm, Hellfire, 'Hellraiser' was co-writ-ten by Ozzy Osbourne and features in the new 'Hellraiser 3' film. As you'd expect from Lemmy and Co., 'Hellraiser' is very loud and very proud and extremely noisy. Quite nice, really.
The Pooh Sticks: The World Is Turning (RCA)
The Pooh Sticks have signed for a major label shocker! Hugh and his Welsh buddies follow up their ironically titled limited edition 'Million Seller' with another fop pop extravaganza. They'll be singingin the hillsides for years to come.
Erasure: Who Needs Love (Like That) (Mute)
Clarke and Bell remix and re-release a single
that wasn't much cop the first time around. Cashing in on their ABBA-esque rip-off. Erasure have no principles left. A stadium band with little soul, but then why should they brake the mould. Casio-tones, ahoy.
Manic Street Preachers: Little Baby Nothing (Columbia)
Traci Lords has starred in a lot of (dubious) films. The ManicStreetPreach-ers are not everyone's cup of tea. 'Little Baby Nothing' begins with a sample taken from the film 'Cat On A Hot Tin Roof and will not be everyone's cup of tea. 'Motorcycle Emptiness' it is not. 'Don't You Want Me' it is. Probably.
Dinosaur Jr: Get Me (Blanco Y Negro)
Many were disappointed by 'Green Mind' and this, their first release for over a year, is a return to form, ie it sounds like 'Freak Scene'. For some reason, no one at Passfield this year seems to like 'Freak Scene', a sad fact indeed, which must hint to a number of things: 1) They have a sad taste in music or 2) They're too busy trying to rig their hall elections. Anyway, I digress. 'Get Me' has all the hallmarks one expects from Dinosaur Jr: the rough voice, the ear shattering guitars and a ragged assembly. Corey likes
it, therefore it must be good. Runner-up Single of the Week number two. And not a hint of Blur or the Mary Chain. Hurrah!
The Nightblooms: Starcatcher (Fire)
Dutch shoe-gazers who supported the Wedding Present at the Astoria a couple of months ago release a single which sounds no better on vinyl than it did live. Surely that must tell you one of two things. Either the Nightblooms have a bad sound engineer and/or producer or quite simply they are shite. Very Dull indeed.
East 17: Gold (London)
East 17 are the best argument I've ever heard for bringing back conscription to the armed forces.
EMF: It's You (Parlophone)
You get the impression that EMF just aren't interested anymore. Their recent album was very good indeed but they've seem to have lost all desire to actually continue making records. Darker than 'Unbelievable', Smash Hits and Top of the Pops have a lot to answer for.
Single Of The Week (2)
Various; The Fred EP (Heavenly)
Right Said Fred have been around for justover a year now and have released four singles and on e album; Hardly an impressive career, but ; whereas other artists wait years for a tribute, th e Freds arebeinghon-oured this month by indie label Heavenly. Eric Clapton is bound to complain to someone.
'Deeply Dippy', Right Said Fred's first Number One, gets a run through from C & W hopefuls, the Rockingbirds. The RocVi n^ir ds are n ot my favourite band in the
Richard get an /Up' from HeavenVs ;
collection of misfits ;
world, to say the least, but th is is quite passable ; i considering.TmTooSexy' has been transformed from a novelty disco hit to an Indie Dance;classic by : St Etienne witJi a real acid trip monstrosity, Shim-meringandglisteninglike: every other St Etienne record, 'I'm Too Sexy* is ^ven a well needed shot in the arm, but the real gem on this EP is Flow-
ered Up'scockernee knees up through 'Don't Talk Just Kiss'. A classic song by; a n ot- so^classi c; band, Mind you, it does sound like the rest of Flowered Up's discoraphy, ie bad singing, drum beats ga lore and a thrashing guitar. And it's all for charity too. Perfect.
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
13 Music
Ready To Attack Acid Jazz
The Khan hits again
"Totally Wired" are these guys. Fresh, funky andtouchingthe smooth accords that made our older bros and sisters shmoove. MOTHER EARTH, THE GRAND ORALDISCEMINATOR (forget oral sex) and VIBRAPHONICarejust some of the musicians vibingon ACID JAZZ. Do you "Believe in me", riding together on a "Sunship" while thinking that "A Change had better come" ? If the answer is yes, then don't let the "Machine Stop", 'cause it's grooving, tantalizing, hitting your flourishing soul and vanishingbody.
Let me tell you how it all begun: 5 years ago Edward Filler founded his own label labelled "ACID JAZZ" (not to be mistaken with Aciiid). Dedicated to music. Pure groovy, funky, jazzy music. Nothing more, nothing less, the Jazz Thing was blessed. Compilation volumes (the one I'm listening to is number 7) hit the number 9 these days, reaching a total sales volume of over 250.000. Proud to be independent, Piller hit the right road by contracting THE BRAND NEW HEAVIES (top act work-
ingatthemomenton their new LP in New York). The outstanding brand new & "Heavy Rhyme Experience" (last stroke)joins the almighty forces of nature: "they share with rappers a healthy respect for complex rhythms that aren't afraid to get nasty with the funk". Featured are rap giants like MAIN SOURCE, GANG STARR (check outDJ PREMIER'S &THEGURU's LP"Daily Operation"), GRAND PUBA (hitting your bass with "Reel to Reel"), MASTER ACE , BLACK SHEEP, KOOL G. RAP (rap's strongest in my view).
'The Masterplan" goes on with such bands like DIANA BROWN & BARRIE K. SHARPE. who promote intercultural interaction on their sleeve: "Racism is superstition / Caused by Oppression / Brought on by mass confusion / But who really cares". Sponsored by Levi's (first time I saw a company sponsoring Groundbeat) ... Do you JAMIROQUAI?Me?Yes ! But politicians won'tcope with it: "Greedy men been killing all the life there ever was, so you'd better play it Natures way, or she will Take it all away".
Mr James Taylor, without his quartet
JAMIROQUAI on their single "When You Gonna learn ?". "Nothing" have learntthe SANDALS with their own thing.
DOG DOG GF THE WEEK:
Forget Government, Industrial Relations and Law, it's time for intermuscular orgasm. Try to remember the good old '60s and '70s (although your wet pants may have been more of a concern). Embrace the sound, the feeling and the vibration ofthose great singers. And now stand up and groove
on:"I see my babe/Danc-ingoutthere/With someone else / He's dancing out there".
NEXT WEEK:
Sparing rhymes on the Battle ofthe Rappers presented by ONYX featur-ingROXANNE SHANTE (new album "The Bitch is Back"), LORDS OF THE UNDERGROUND (hitting with "Psycho") and WRECKS'N'EFFECT. C YA !!
Orbiting
Above
The
Shamen
The Orb pull an all-nighter
When the Orb finally motivated themselves onto the stage, and you found that what you thought was the smoke machine was in fact just Thrash, then the sentence was left uncompleted. The intro-tape of ex-President Bush addressing a shuttle crew fades, the mosh-pit fills up, the audience goes wild - GOAL!!! The band roar into their first ambient number, 'Spanish Castles In Space'. Imagine the Floyds' 'Careful With That Axe Eugene' with the bass line played by Lemmy. For ten minutes the audience waits until they can dance.
Then the Orb play their 'Silver Machine' - 'Little Fluffy Clouds' and the audience start to move about a bit. Then they do thatone with thebassline and the drums and the planes and stuff, you know the one. Then the one with the drums, the
bassline, the waves and the earwigs. That one. And so on for nearly two hours. Totally cool trance-dancing. Basically this was a bloody cool concert (concept?). Whether it was worth making it an all-nighter is in doubt. Although Steve Hillage was there,System 7 didn'tplay nor did anyone else, in fact the rest of the night was just DJ's. Mind you, the light show was good for those who had their eyes open.
One question. Why was thebaldingguy in thefad-ing Roxy Music t-shirt muttering to himself and complaining about these young upstarts?
Having 'Singing In The Rain' as an outro-tape was cool. And they pissed all over the Shamen.
Gad (with a little help from Ash).
Power To The Dictionary
The Rebel MC's still a Londoner
Rebel MC: Armchair Anarchist.
Rebel MC: Word Sound Power
People who don't know about these things probably remember Rebel MC for the cheesy but fun poppy ragga-rap song 'StreetTuff, which is definitely not the way to know about this artist nor is it the way he is today. His music today is a quality blend of ragga/rap/soul/ techno, definitely in the politically and humanly aware vein, this, like his previous album 'Black Meaning Good" (which musically it is very similar too) is very much a lot more rootsy and ragga and well worth a listen.
It is rare that pop and politics are mixed in a way that works, the results often being either musically dire or merely em-
barrassingly trite. Rap, however, can be considered to be the perfect medium for putting over a message in a musical context. Rebel MC puts his message forward uncompromisingly and there is no beating around the bush, although there is a good bit of government beating on tracks such as 'Government Fail'. This track begins with a sampled news announcement declaring Winston Silcott being cleared and goes on to put the case that ultimately it is the government who wasted this man and others' lives. People should remember this as it is not the police who make the laws, they are somebody higher up's Doot boys and girls.
The album is not all leavy ragga as might be
expected, although there are definite techno ragga influences but on tracks such as 'Let Jah Light Shine'it veers much more towards a soul/garage influence, the different musical styles being excellently linked, which brings me onto the reli-giousaspect ofthe album. Generally I think institutionalised religion sucks but here Rastafaari is put forward in an excellent almost existential way, sort of live the life you want to live without fucking others over and don't take no shit kind of angle. You can't say fairer than that.
Well, in conclusion, although it does not necessarily break that much new ground, it is still a very good politicised album. Definitely warrants
a listen over pseudo-new age pretend political nonsense such as Spiral Tribe and several thousand times more worthy than 'plagiaristic talent-vacuum for those who were too young to listen to The Smiths, who have outgrown their Bros posters and are now too scared to listen to anything new' also known as Suede.
Go on, do your brain a favour.
Steve Kinkee.
'Word Sound Power' is released through Big Life Records next week.
14 Features
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
^ I	GXtI 11 TYY	II® A The government is giving
J3xJ.±« the green light to attacks
T Tr^TTXir^T? ^r\ TTTT T refugees, argues
-"A VyJCjX^ J2i X J-m.X Mil iEmmanuel Ohajah
The issue of asylum and refugees seems to be in the neve's constantly. Images of German neo-Nazis fire-bombing Romanian refugee hostels are becoming familiar. In France hostility towards immigrants is a fact of life. Violence against Africans in Italian cities is increasing. Such attacks are being replicated all over Europe.
Reading the national papers, you could be forgiven for thinking that Britain is a safe haven for immigrants and refugees. Most racist attacks and murders are presented as an abberation from normal British behaviour. Yet a close look at the local press reveals attacks taking place all over Britain, often matching those occurring in France or Germany in their ferocity.
Over the past six months therehasbeen an increase in racist murders and attacks on blacks and immigrants in Britain. From Scotland down to London, there seems to be no place which hasn't been the scene of a horror story. Take the death of Ashiq Hussain, a young Birmingham taxi driver who died after being attacked by three white passengers on 1 September. Or the murder of Rohit Duggal, a 16 year old school boy from South London, stabbed after leaving a birthday party in July.
Perhaps the most notorious case was the death of Ruhullah Arsmesh, a 24 year old Afghan refugee living in Thornton Heath, South London. On the night of SlJuly 1992, Ruhullah was attacked by a gang of 15 youths. He was beaten with iron bars so severely that he died two days later. Not surprisingly, the incident made the front pages of the London press. Even the local police expressed sympathy. Superintendent John Jones, the officer in charge of the investigation, condemned the ;! tack: 'This appears to h:, e been a racist attack ith no provocation. Thi^ i a crime that the polii ervice and all right thii. ig members of the pub: will abhor and con-dem: '
Thi implicit apportioning oi blame by Superintendent Jones is interesting. It suggests that there exists in Britain a group
of people who go around assaultingand murdering refugees and blacks, and it is the task of the government and the police to mop up the mess.
This is in fact the opposite of reality. British racism begins in the stately surroundings of government offices and the editorial boards of the press. All the fire bombings, murders and assaults which occur would not happen if freelance racists did not receive their sanction from the respectable members of society who draw up legislation such as the Asylum Bill
distinction criminalises all refugees by suggest-ingthat many immigrants should notbe in Britain in the first place. How can anyone make a meaningful distinction? To ordinary people the message is clear; be suspicious of all foreigners.
Former home secretary Kenneth Baker was responsible for drawing up the Asylum Bill. During the April 1992 election campaign he argued that the growth of racist violence in Germany was due to a flood of refugees and immigrants, and that to maintain good race rela-
Standard loved the story about illegal immigrants jumping out of the back of a lorry and running down the M4. There have been countless tales about organised teams of Romanian beggars getting cash out of tube travellers. Other sensationalist press exposes have revealed that itcosts#400million ayear to process refugees. The London Boroughs Association announced on the very day of the Asylum Bill's second reading that asylum seekers cost London's poll tax payers #30 million a year. So now refugees are being blamed for

w
which is now receiving its second reading. The Asylum Bill's proposals include the 'fast track processing of claims' (faster deportati on s), com -pulsory finger printing of all a.sylum seekers, the abolition of independent legal aid and #2000 fines for airlines which carry passengers with invalid documents.
The history of the Asylum Billindicatesthatthe government is responsible for the climate of racist violence which characterises Britain today.
The government argued lastyear that the Asylum Bill is necessary because the number of people seeking asylum has increased to about 50 000 a year. Most of these, the Tories claim, are bogus because they are merely seeking a better life and are not suffering from political persecution. The distinction being made is between economic migrants and political refugees. Such a
tions tough immigration controls are necessary. This perverse logic suggests that immigration, rather than government policy, causes racism.
Kenneth Clarke, Baker's successor, wants to ease immigration procedures for EC nationals and visitors from the USA and Japan,but tighten restrictions for those travelling from the third world. The only conclusion to be drawn is that vigilance is needed to protect Britain from third world immigrants. Every time the home secretary makes a statement aboutimmigra-tion he condemns someone to another racist attack.
The police and media play their role in creating an anti-immigrantatmos-phere by conducting high profile dawn raids to hunt down 'illegal immigrants' and printing lurid stories about scams by immigrants trying to get into Britain. The Evening
the poll tax!
All these stories add up to the image of refugees being a burden on British people, a drain on resources and a problem which needs to be dealt with. The Asylum Bill threatens to enshrine further the social inferiority of immigrants in Britain. The treatment meted out to those seeking asylum by the government and the media ensures that refugees are held in contempt by many and seen as legitimate targets for violence.
This has been the case for manyyears. Whenever governments have introduced new anti immigration legislation, racist attacks h ave increased. Thi s was the case with Nationality Act 1981, the imposition of visas for people travelling from Bangladesh and India (1987) and the 1988 Carriers Act. Of the 64 racist murders which took place between 1970 and 1986, 50 oc-
curred during the five years 1976, 1978, 1979, 1980 and 1981 - all years when anti-immigration scares were at fever pitch.
Today once more mainstream political leaders are voicing anti-refugee statements. Last year, John Major suggested a fairly draconian approach to immigration: 'We cannot open our doors to all comers just because London, Rome and Paris may seem preferable to Bombay and Algiers....We have need of a perimeter fence around Europe.'The perimeterfence is already in place: immigration to Britain over the past 10 years has amounted to 0.1 of the population. Yet still a ferocious debate rages about Britain being swamped by immigrants. It seems fairly clear that the renewed focus on race, refugees, the third world and immigration has little to do with numbers and everything to do with creating a climate of reaction and
anti- foreign chauvinism.
And it is hardly surprising that ordinary people draw the conclusion that blacks and immigrants are fair game when that is so obviously the view of officialdom.
To continue along these lines of scapegoatingrefu-gees for the social ills of Britains in the 1990s means that the problems confronting ordinary people are never going to be addressed. In addition to this,theincreasingclamp-down on the rights of immigrants sends a message to m any peopl e th at bl acks and refugees are responsible for the problems of unemployment, bad housing and social disintegration. All the crocodile tears shedby themediaandthe government over the brutal murder of Ruhullah Arsmesh are little more than an attempt to distance the establishment from the consequences of their racist polices.
But officialdom should
not be allowed off the hook. Often racist attacks on refugees and immigrants are blamed on the far right. But whether in Germany, France or Britain, such attacks are the practical consequences of the official propaganda campaigns which run in tandem with anti immigration legislation. By targeting 'bogus' refugees, the authorities have created the conditions for a modern day racial pogrom.
If racism is to be tackled successfully, opposition to thescapegoatingofimmi-grants needs to be unswerving. Unfortunately, their seems to be a tendency to make concessions to the argument that immigrants are the problem. In Germany, the Social Democratshave conceded that there are too many refugees and that is why racist attacks are on the increase. The Social Democrats now agree that a change in Germany's 'liberal' asylum laws is required. Here in Britain the Labour Party's commitment to deal with 'bogus' refugees, as stated in its election manifesto, signals the opposition's surrender in thefightagainst racism.
T J •
It is important to reject 'any attempt to blame immigrants for Britain's problems. Logically it makes no sense: the decline of Britain is entirely the fault of those who organise society. They are the ones who have decided that unemployment is 'a price worth paying' (Norman Lamont). Instead of appeasing the racists by conceding that immigration is a problem that needs to be curbed, anti-racists should go the offensive against the powers that be who are really responsible for all our problems.
The Beaver staff would like to wish Paul Bou Habib (the Features editor) a speedy recovery from his flu which has kept him away from us for so long.
15 Cl2[ssifi6ds
The Beaver Classifieds..
If you wish to promote a service, publicise an event (yes Johnny B,, that includes you), or just tell the world how happy you are, then The Beaver Classifieds would be only too happy to hear from you.
Please contact James in the Beaver office by Wednesday noon in the week before publication.
Clasifieds, I'he Beaver, LSESU,
EI97
East Building, Houghton Street.
The Beaver, 9th November 1992
Private Tuition in French and German
...Just call Paul on (071) 486 8185
ACCOMODATION AVAILABLE.
One single room in a seven-person townhouse. Forty-five minutes from LSE.
Call Kate on 071 -252-0115
EXAM PAPERS
..are now available from the Students
Union print room, E204.
Ask the duty supervisor for the Listings booklet which will provide the paper number. The exam papers can then be photocopied in the print room at a cost of 4 pence each.
Q.
O
M
E
0 t 0 o
K m (0	N
O O	Ul OWN
H Ul U	00
J
	
	
	a
	o
	£
	(/>
	c
	0
	c
	3
	
	c
	0>
	•a
	3
	**
	<n
	
	
The Beaver, ^th November 1992
Houghton Sausage
Street Seconds
Harry I Drink
Tractors
[r
! A syou read last week exclusively in HSH, Harry i x~jL lias resigned his position in order to spend jmoreVtiitie in the library, the Tuns, and with his: ifamily; (Harry Jnrs scattered far and wide in the world's main footballing capitals). Amazingly my I name is also Harry so the name of the column will I remain unchanged.
I For my first foray into the world of public pub talk l l had hoped to continue Harry's great tradition of I berating the various soap-dodging minorities (ma-:: jorities? -ed)3ut please npter Dun^reerMan will no j longer feature as it has been determiried; that he is :'ah-all-right-bloke' so no more bitterness/fame for I himlMuch was made last week on the subject of what I ahard act ex-Harry would be to follow; intimidated as il was by this tone I was determined to ensure that I standards would be maintained. To this end I had [planned to write this in the optimum environment I conducive to inspired writing, my day should have I gone as follows; a tough but victorious" game of foot-i ball, a tasty free meal courtesy of our admiringho.sts, I good spirits homeward bound, a few: pints watching: I RangersXLeeds trounce: LeedsXRangers, a hot bath : and then I'd finally sit back in bed and watch my i creativity flow effortlessly to produce a Harry of jincomparable wit, poetic alliteratiQri:and breatht^--i ingly perceptive observations on 'daily: life: in 'the ; street'. We are all familiar with what happens to the jbest laid plans so 1 will now present the decidedly I grim reality.
I Th& climax of a painfully boring journey to Hove: ; was to pull up in what appeared to be a retireinent home complexin afield,but was in fact the University; of Sussex. The prospect of our 112 man army being put into a single changing room somewhat dampened:: our warn or-like spirits, wh ich were th en totally soaked as notone ofour teams could scrape a point on pitches; which could have been used for the emotional trench scene in a fifties war mo vie. The'free meal: turned out: to be £1.20 off (three sausages were £1.10) in a kip which made the Brunch Bowl seem a model of civili^: sation and a centre of catering excellence in cpmparir; son. A dubious incident then occurred:in:;\vhich::the: Rugby 2nd's claim to have had half of their kit stolen by the opposition: as we know Rugby players aren't normally keen on confrontation but after much delibr eration they strutted off to 'investigate'; sadly, mid-deliberation, the coach driver decided toleave and we; can only wonder as to whether the Hovessix chose to walk seventeen miles to Brighton or braye the deso^ lation of the P.W. Botha Bar, Sussex campus's only one.
LSE 2'nd XI.........0
Sussex 2'nd XI..3
Football is as football does, and this one was a modern tragedy in three acts. The first act was Sussex dribbling in a goal only good enough to grace an Argos catalogue. LSE took control but failed to score, a problem which extends to mostofthe lads after the game. After 88 minutes of pressure by LSE, Sussex scored twice. Quite frankly someone had to and it wasn'tgoing to be us. Keane assaulted theref and the pansy with the pony-tail. Fry called the man in black a blind bastard, and after the third goal went in Staples questioned his parentage
in no uncertain manner. The second act was complete. The third act involved the coach home getting stuck in second gear, getting a train home from Croydon and Leeds losing to the best team in Britain; Andrew was right as usual (I agree-ex ed). That put an end to one of the blandest days in LSE football as the seconds' learningcurve looksmore like the downslope of a very large roller coaster. So be it, indeed it may be, but that is certainly that. Paul Bradford also plays football.
Ian Staples.
16 Sport
Rugger
Lads
Drink
Puke
Sussex 1st XV 17 LSE 1st XV 24
On Wednesday thefirsts maintained their hopes of remaining in the UAU with a last gasp win over Sussex. It took until the second half to establish our dominance on the game by which time we were trailing 12-7, our try coming from a mazy run by Tim White. Just when we thought we could take the game by the scruff of the neck Sussex scored an opportunist try making it 17-7.
At this stage our character and resilience began to show through, unlike last week against City. The forwards began to tighten up their game and thebacksput together
some fine handing moves and as a result of constant LSE pressure Matt McNeill scored an unconverted try. Moving into the last ten minutes the side began to produce some awesome rugby, with forwards and backs interlinking to bring us back into the Sussex 22. Andy Lloyd scored a pushover try to level the scores and with Sussex fading Ben Wales ran 60 metres in the last movement of the game and Iwan converted to make the final score 17-24 to LSE. (Sorry, but the next paragraph is in the bin -ed).
Matt Claxton.

Another demolition job
The drivers kindness was rewarded as the coach ¦ broke down in a lay-by in Purley but this was not. strictly a consolation since we were stranded in a ^ place consisting of a hotel, a petrol station, no people andbusesto popular destinations like Enders Green, The optimists headed into the sunset to find a train, leaving seven super-optimists to wait for a replacement coach, the astute reader now realising I hope ] that I was in this second group and that this column is in deed a letter from Purley. At least we had football i
commentary on the coach radio sOTneone;ipiped::Upy
clearly unaware that Leicester vs. Charlton was no- j one's idea of the big match that night.
Redux Continues Apace?!?
U.C.L, First XI1 L.S.E. First XI 3
The LSE First's redux continues apace: the raison d'etre being a combination of wise old heads,youthful arrogance and the silky smooth substitution (not skills? -ed) of the team's own Ruud Gullit. Having in recent weeks fired a number of the proverbial blanks. Captain Clasper's taskforce spent Saturday creaming over an impo-tentUCL. Arapturousfull house (Brian, Brian's lawnmower and Brian's lawnmower's spare grass box -ed) were treated to thirty minutes of flawless
teamwork before 'Orca' Butler stamped his seal of approval on a corner from fellow Essex man 'Tea Leaf Grant, cleverly finishing with a deft flick of the elbow.
Come halftime, Clasper deemed the lead unassailable and left the pitch altogether, returning to the fray only after a couple ofB&H and a walk with his whippet. By then LSE had the game by the bollocks and it wasn't long before the lead was extended- the rapacious 'Aberdeen' Angus finishing a move which contained all
the hallmarks of a team destined for silverware. The defence, unified under the Bismarckean tutelage of Stifan, fiuently spread the play wide to the mercurial Dilly who, avoiding a low flying fullback, gave the Scottish forward ample time to find the onion bag. At this stage a fine half volley pulled one back for the home side and briefly instigated an all out siege of Justin's fortress. Fortunately the tenacious Jimmy 'The Palm' Tree pissed on their fire with a sweaty lob to restore the
two goal cushion and secure LSE Ist's first points of the season.
All in all an encouraging result made possible primarily through the efforts ofRob, Stifan, Nick and Copenhagen in defence. Perhaps a subdued UCL captain put it best when he conceded afterwards that penetrating the LSE last third was like trying to shove a suppository up a cat's arse-not an analogy that immediately springs to my mind but then I'm not a sad fat bastard.
Dilly
t«r