No. 165 November 29th, 1977
FOR SALE
B£AVER NEVVSPf^
Five places on the Court of Governors. Perks include free drinks and a free car-parking space.
Four places on the General Purposes Committee. Not many perks for this.
Two places on the Library Committee. Join this and you can forget about library fines.
Two places on the Building Committee. Free half-bricks.
Two places on the Student Union Executive—no perks at all for this, and they don't deserve any.
VOTE TODAY!
THE BALLOT BOX WILL BE IN THE MAIN BUILDING AT THE ENTRANCE TO THE OLD THEATRE. IT CLOSES AT 6.00.
FEVER!!
LATEST OPINION POLL GIVES MOLE ATILLA 10% LEAD
Barclays Bank advertisement . . .
AN interesting visit planned for February 1st has come to the notice of the Beaver Office — namely that of Barclays Bank representatives as part of a general Graduate Recruiting programme by all of the banks organised by the Careers Advisory . Service.
Apparently it is the standard practice for banks to get in contact with the careers office to arrange a visit, in other words a formal invitation as such had not been sent to Barclays. However, the official in the Careers Office who was approached, stressed that they do not discriminate in any way between the major banks. Should this bank, so heavily involved in apartheid, be allowed in the LSE?
(Incidentally, how many people are aware that Barclays donated £6,000 towards the cost of acquiring Strand House. Perhaps the Union should ask the School to return the money?).
A RiPPLE, even a wave, of horror and indignation has disturbed the ranks of the careerist candidates whose chances of success have received a severe blow due to the decision of M. Atil!a to stand as a candidate to the Court of Governors.
It would seem that M. Atiila (we have had suggested to us that tlJir initial may stand for Mole) is deaf, dumb and blind, but these handicaps, it is claimed, would not be detrimental to his activity on the committee.
The manifesto produced by his
supporters, mainly frequenters of Anarchist Group meetings, suggests these disabilities are irrelevant. It points out that students on School committees are helpless, regardless of whether or not they are able to speak,
hear or see.
Why the horror and indignation ? The answer seems to lie in the fact that M. Atiila is a stuffed toy. However, although he has no L.S.E. admissions card (he is apparently on fees strike) he is the proud possessor of an NUS card.
The Returning Officer has expressed his opinion on the matter : ''I don't see why the mass of students should have their right of democratic choice restricted ; I have accepted M. Atilla's application to stain!"foi Court of Governors."
M. Atilla has received messages of support from students of all political opinions. Various members of Consoc., Broad Left, IS Soc., SAA, etc., etc., have agreed that his presence on the
Court of Governors would greatly enhance the potential of this committee. As Bruce Fell (an ex-Student Governor) commented : "I think he will be a worthy successor to my pioneering efforts on the Court."
CHRIS LEAF
Fire, burn and Merlyn's trouble
The Case for the Firemen THE firemens' strike is now well into its second week and nothing has happened—no-one has been killed and the firemen haven't been paid.
The union are claiming "an annual salary equal to the average weekly pay of adult males plus 10 per cent to take into account of skills identified in the national Joint Council agreed composite job descriptions and also to recognise the physical hazards and dangers faced by firemen in carrying out their duties"—Fire Brigades Union. At present the take-home pay for a qualified fireman with a wife and children is £48.29 for a 48-hour week.
Irrespective of political ideals one cannot deny that they are being underpaid for a vital communty service. The firemen I spoke to generally felt that the Government were taking advantage of them at the risk of the general public. They felt that the "responsible'' Ministers were waiting for a major disaster, either troops killed or, even more likely, some unfortunate geriatric avoiding euthanasia lightly roasted in her own bed. The Government would then (depending on public opinion) either suddenly discover that the firemen were a "special'' case after all or, if the public allows it, start a concerted attack on the firemen.
It is imperative therefore that everyone demonstrates their support for the firemen (at least by signing the petitions outside every fire station) simply to show the Government that the use of bully tactics are not acceptable to the British public, and help prevent the catastrophe which so far has been avoided.
LINDA food in the Three Tuns Bar.	GUY ELLIOT
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STOP PRESS
AN attempt to remove M. Atilla from the Ballot Form for the Court of Governors did not materialise at last Friday's Union Meeting. Therefore he, rather it, will still be standing.
? ? ?
At the same Union Meeting a Motion of Censure was passed on Margot James and Nick White and they were therefore removed from the Executive.
? ? ?
THE UNEXPURGATED SEX PISTOLS MOVIE will be shown in the
Old Theatre on Friday, 2nd December at 2.30. ADMISSION 20p.
? ? ?
From next term you will be able to exchange Hall Meal Tickets for food in the Three Tuns Bar.
Governor M. Atilla
Social Sec. at last
ON November 11th at a rowdy Union meeting a motion was finally passed making the post of Social Secretary sabbatical. It had been on the agenda for a number of weeks but due to prevarications, power cuts and quorum calls it had not reached the discussion stage.
In an impassioned speech, Max Poore cited the number of academic casualties caused by taking on the responsibility of the job and how due to this no-one was willing to take the risk any longer. Hence he foresaw that Ents would fold in a very short time.
The basis of Simon Lubin's opposing speech was that the money could be better spent on the Union's campaigning activities and that the fact that there
was a. shortage of auxiliary helpers for the social secretary was indicative of feelings that Ents was largely superfluous.
The voting at the meeting did not seem to bear this out as the motion was overwhelmingly carried.
The question-now is, having made the post sabbatical, will it be viewed in any way as a political one ? It is undoubtedly a very specialist job for which it takes many months to build up sufficient competency but the very fact that it will be a full-time, paid position, elected at the same time as the General Secretary and Senior Treasurer might make the organised political groups see it as worth competing for. And if this happenfe and someone is elected on a political slate with insufficient know-how, then Ents could collapse entirely.
BEAVER rules OK!
WE hate to say it but . . .
WE TOLD YOU SO !!!!
''Staff Crisis," remember the headline ?—it certainly provoked some members of the Union. Battle commenced in the Beaver Collective Meeting where a motion of censure was moved on the two editors. This was defeated and instead a motion of no confidence was passed in the Publications Officer Roger Galloway, now (sob, sob !) our ex-Publications Officer.
Next at the Executive meeting a move that the Executive should propose a motion of no confidence in the Editors was defeated. This was one of the causes which led to the subsequent resignation of Dave Fig. This was unfortunate as he was probably the hardest working member of the Executive.
The International Socialists had put forward a Union Motion of no confi-
dence in the Editors but after Roger Galloway was kicked off the Exec they seemed to lose all heart and the matter was dropped.
Was this the end of the matter ? No. our claims as regards the incompetency of the Executive were completely vindicated when it was discovered that the increases as decided by the Executive were completely unworkable. At the moment the question of the increases is being renegotiated.
We would also like to bring to the attention of students the paltry amounts which casual members in the shop and bar receive. Another little statistic which needs airing is that the administrative staff plus the sabbaticals take (cost to the Union not income) over 60 per cent of the Union Budget.
Staff pay is still an unsettled question, but I think we can rely on the Executive to keep it so.
PAGE 2
ENTERTAINMENTS
AFTER several years and many hours' involvement with Ents, I was extremely relieved when justice was finally done at a recent Union meeting and the long overdue post of sabbatical social secretary was seen to be a necessity by 90 per cent of voters. A great debt is owed to Max Poore for his tireless efforts which finally allowed the LSE Union to see the light. Similarly. many thanks to the entire Ents committee for doing all that is necessary to present the current diverse programme of Entertainment in the LSE.
Beaver's amended publication date meant that concerts by THIS HEAT and SAD CAFE had to be omitted from, Entsnews. However, the remainder of the term is :
THE PLEASERS : Wed., 30th Nov., 8 pm, plus Disco. 3 Tuns. Free.
SPUD : Fri., 2nd Dec., 1 pm. Old Theatre. Free.
GLOBE UNITY ORCHESTRA: Wed., 7fh Dec., 7.30 pm, Old Theatre. £1.50.
LUMIERE & SON : Thurs., 8th Dec., .1 pm, 3 Tuns. Free.
Fri., 9th Dec., 8 pm, 3 Tuns
COUSIN JOE Theatre. Free.
Fri., 9th Dec., 2 pm, Old
WINDOWS :
Free.
ENTS CHRISTMAS PARTY : Sat., 10th Dec. Old Building. £1.00.
For these and other discos, bar entertainment,-etc., drop by S118 any lunchtime or attend the weekly gathering of the Entertainment Committee on Thursdays at 1 pm. The Ents Disco has one or two free nights this term when it can be hired for just £10 inclusive of DJ, records and lights.
THE PLEASERS: Wed., 30th Nov., 8 pm. Free.. Remember pop music ? It is supposed to be pure fun which is the feeling you should get in the 3 Tuns when The Pleasers and the Ents. Disoo aim to provide a memorable full-scale bop. Ents are giving you a free chance to see one of the hottest new bands in the country before they play on Top of the Pops ! The Pleasers are purveyors of Merseybeat in classic early Beatles style, although they prefer to describe their act as 'Thamesbeat'. On the evidence of their new EP on Arista, plus reports of recent /live gigs, then the 3 Tuns will see a classic- hot ¦ *n' sweaty night's entertainment. The Pleasers add new wave reality to old faves like 'Twist and Shout' so join in the 3 Tuns fun on Wednesday night. Admission is FREE, so spread the word.
Lumicre and Son
Theatre and Spud
SPUD : Friday, 2nd December, 1 pm, Old Theatre.
A FREE lunchtime concert. Ents are offering to take you out to lunch for free in the Old Theatre next Friday when one of Ireland's leading folk/rock bands, SPUD, are on the menu. After much critical acclaim in their own country and a number one chart single, Spud toured Britain as: special guests to Richard and Linda Thompson and later appeared at the Cambridge Folk Festival.
They have just released a fine album on Sonet and their LSE appearance marks the start of an extensive British tour. The five-man line-up boasts a diverse selection of both rock and traditional instruments, including Celtic harp, mandolin, fiddle, viola, pedal steel guitar and whistles. On certain numbers, SPUD display an amazing similarity to Horslips and Clover—no mean compliment. So why not partake of a coupla Guinness in the 3 Tuns on Friday, 2nd December, and then head along to the Old Theatre for a lunch-time of Irish folk-rock. As with Cousin Joe's lunch-time concert one week later. Ents have chosen acts designed to entertain students, staff and porters alike.
LUMSERE & SON present "TIP TOP CONDITION"; Thursday,
8th Dec, 3 Tuns, 1 pm.
Thursday, 8th Dec. in the 3 Tuns will see a free lunch-timfe theatrical event, Lumiere and Son are a theatre company formed in 1974 who have presented their works to considerable acclaim throughout Europe. They have performed in, a diverse array of situations ranging from the most formal of theatres to the most public of places (shopping centres, rugby clubs and a burial chamber !).
Without wishing to give too much away, Tip-Top Condition is basically a portrayal of the contrasts between aliens and our own culture. The play was first performed in 1974 at the Science Fiction Festival in Rotterdam.
Lumiere and Son have opted for the intimacy of the 3 Tuns as a venue since their act thrives on good audience feedback. In best theatrical tradition Tip-Top Condition succeeds in both entertaining the audience and leaving them with something to really, think about. Admission is free so see for yourselves on Thursday, 8th December, at l.Ofcpim.
COUSIN JOE: Fri 9th Deo, Old
Theatre, 2.00 pm
A REAL Ents scoop — Cousin Joe the legendary blues pianist from New Orleans will make one of only three London appearances in the LSE Old Theatre. What is more, admission is free and. the whole event.is set for lunchtime f2.00 pm) on "the last Friday of term. At almost 70 years of age Cousin Joe has spent the last 56 years entertaining audiences the world over with his unique personality aria music. He's played with a host of blues and jazz legends including Billie Holiday, Lightnin' Hopkins and Muddy Waters. His latest single could realise his ambition of becoming a pop star on his 70th birthday. Audience reaction when he played at the Cambridge Folk Festival and in London with Boz Scagga and Bonnie Raitt was ecstatic. The press have described him as "the music world's answer to Muhammed Ali" with "as much showmanship as Elton John at his most extravagant". Friday 9th Dec will see a truly remarkable performer on the stage. His name is Cousin Joe and he's from New Orleans. USA. Admission is free.
SATURDAY, DEC. 10th
The last major concert of the term was, until 4.00 pm last Wednesday to have been an Antipodean Christmas Party with Split Enz. The band's agency have chosen to break their side of. the contract leaving me two weeks to plan an alternative night's entertainment. Watch for posters in the Union shop when the final bill is announced. but rest assured it will be a classic end-of-term Christmas bop. Expect reggae, comedy, new wave, discos, films ,real ale, and ice cream to be included in the night's entertainment. Pssst! There is a rumour that the LSE new wave legends—the D.V.'s—might just be within Ents' financial grasp for Dec 10th.
STOP PRESS : Mon 5th Dec, 3 Tuns Bar, Free ,8.30 pm. Theatre of Cruelty — Moron-do Bondage ?

Jim Capaldi in the Old Theatre.
REVIEWS
IN retrospect the late Paul Kossof fully merits his rating as one of the world's truly great guitarists-. This double album traces his erratic career with Free and Back St. Crawler along with several previously unreleased ¦ studio classics with John Martyn and members of Traffic. Although it's clearly a carefully researched and packaged double album I would' personally have preferred just two sides of Kossoff's earthy and emotive blues guitar. The tracks, which date from the end of his short and tragic career, lack the convincing feel to his work with Free, at their best.
DARTS" (Magnet)
A great reminder of the Darts' magnificent performance at the Freshers' Ball though not in the same class as the private Ents. bootleg of the aforementioned event! Most of the tracks on this, their debut' album, are featured in the band's live act. After destroying most of the wimpy opposition on Top of the Pops, the Darts have just announced a special Christmas show at the Rainbow Theatre on December 21st.
Albums which merit attention in the pre-Christmas onslaught include: NEIL YOUNG: "DECADE" (W.E.A.) Triple album of the year!
JOHN MARTYN "ONE WORLD" (Island)
GRAHAM PARKER "STICK TO ME" (Phonogram)
TALKING HEADS "77" (Sire)
BURNING SPEAR "LIVE U.K. TOUR" (Island)
THE ALBERTOS "ITALIANS FROM OUTER SPACE" (Transatlantic)
ANDY G0RNWEW.
TISSTOLS: no fun!'
SO we are finally confronted with the reality of a Sex Pistols 33i rpm long player. The deified frontmen of the most' ostentatious splash in modern music since Des O'Connor have finally committed themselves to posterity. It's unfortunate however that they failed to really communicate by packaging their pride in dried pressed puke rather than gaudy yellow cardboard, because musically this is no revelation. Still, their brazen reputation was formed by sensationally consistent music biz and press hype, enthusiastically grasped by the Daily Drivel, and not by vinyl product or conveniently banned live performance. I did in fact attend one of their "legendary" early gigs (and was bored).
I don't know whether the instru-mentals are courtesy of the Pistois or session men; it's not that relevant. Highly competent, solid, well produced pogo fodder, it's little more than a well oiled vehicle for the refreshingly clear but insubstantial vocals of the man who added 1 anarchy to the vocabulary of the mindless and sheep (short crop variety with razors). He ploughs, through the Pistols greatest hits and seven other punk anthems, a little less catchy so not likely to be released . as singles. Submission is a particularly tired little ditty.-
Despite its potential usefulness as a basis for- a potted philosophy
of punk it's just not that impressive. It's not stored in my concept of life on earth and its certainly not likely to promote an overdue visit to the barbers. Not that I want to offend the lads. They were the instigators of the tidal wave that has revived UK music, spewing out such brilliant debris as the insincere genius of the Stranglers and the erratic dynamism of the Jam and many more. But McLarens monster has developed out of hand. Masses of people will buy this album (which will please Virgin who have long been searching for a replacement for Mike Oldfield. But if you seriously want to preserve your heroes'. ¦ rely on your imagination: it's probably infinitely more pungent- than' this album.
It's a pity that more of the genuine innovators of the last decade have not received more attention, rather than the media's frantic appetite for "blatantly marketed sensationalism; for example the enigmatic Peter Hamill of Van der Graaf (J. Rotten likes him!» 1 And was it Peter Gabriel who in 1974 sang "people will be shorter in height as they can get twice as many in the same building site". Anybody remember the Nice's ¦ "America" or Syd's Floyd—Point me at the Sky—boring old farts?
MIKE STUBBii
(Non careerist ex-social sec.) •
Your right to ask for more
UESPITE much of the confusion and increased compiexity surrounding students' fmtitfement to supplementary benefit over the short vacations of Christmas and Easter, students still do have the right to claim.
The fact of the matter is that your grant now contains a sum for maintenance over these weeks of the short vacations. It is not mere coincidence that this sum of £13.05 . per week is exactly equivalent to what the BHSS would give a single person over 18 , years old to maintain himself; It is considered to be income (whether y6u've actually kept it aside in budgeting carefully or not) and deducted from the normal BHSS maintenance award, which means you'd get nothing from the DHSS for maintenance.
¦ So what are you able to ask for? Basically, students who will remain living in their London rented accommodation over these weeks of the short holidays will be able to claim an allowance for rent. This would be equivalent to your rent if it is not considered "unreasonable"—which up to now few have , toeen.
.If you are living with your parents, how-, ever, you will not be given this full rent , allowance. You may, however, apply for a discretionary "Exceptional Circumstances Addition" which amounts to up to £2 per week as a room retainer fee. >'ou may have to bring a letter from a landlord to support your case, and it's worth a try to see if you'd get it for a university-
owned self-catering flat although you can't get it for the Halls of Residence.
People without any grant should be able to claim for both the maintenance allowance as well as a rent commitment. Postgraduate students witfi grants for 52 weeks of the year will not be able to claim anything. There are some pretty complicated formulae for calculating rent allowances if you share a flat, live communally or co-habit. Please consult the detailed leaflet available from the Students' Union Welfare OfBce for a step-by-step guide to the procedure. And
remember—it is your right, daunting' as the experience might just prove to be.
A word of caution to overseas students might be advisable at this point, since their legal rights to work might make claiming supplementary benefit seem like a monopoly game of pass "GO" and collect whatever, in comparison. If you are an overseas student, you are expected to not need to work, but to be financially solvent.
However, if you have a work permit, then you too can register as available for employ-V ment and, if none is forthcoming, claim accordingly. Remember, though, that you should not need to work from the Home Office point of view. For those who "want to work" for the fun and experience of it all—you should apply for a work permit which means (1) find the job first of all; .(2) get the employer to complete a form OW1 which says that no British person can do the job as well; (3) collect a letter from . the School that work would not interfere with your studies and send it all, with passport, etc, to your local employment exchange.
The complicated details of this are also available on a leaflet from the Students' Union Welfare Office.
Last but npt least—what about that miserable idea of spending Christmas alone? If . you have a home to go to, have you asked that overseas student in your . class what he or she is doing? Remember, they will not invite themselves, but it can't be too much fun, cart it? There will be no attempt at. "computer-dating" to match people, so get up some nerve and offer that warm hospitality. Don't be shy. Even if you don't like your home—someone else might!
Not good enough, Sharon Whitelaw's
Irt the last issue of Beaver, Academic Affairs Persons Sharon Ser drew attention to the .^oWerns faced by students who are not consulted prior to changes being made in the content of their course.
This problem is especially serious for first-year students, who often arrive to find that the course they have chosen is different from their expectations.
Yet the only remedy Sharon Ser offers to these problems is to work through the staff-student committees, despite the inadequacies . cf this system.
She seems surprisingly misinformed in stating that "there is one for every department". After six weeks of term, the departments of Anthropology, International History, Language Studies, Law. Economic . History, and Sociology have not yet established staff-student committees, and in the .latter two cases there seems to be no desire to establish one at all.
Also, there is the danger that any de-, partment has the power to ignore any stu-dents' suggestions not to their liking, since ultimate control lies solely in their hands.
Thus, Sharon Ser is avoiding her responsibilities, which surely entail attempting to .implement feasible reforms for the benefit of students. It was the realisation by many . first-year students of the need for such reforms that resulted in the formation of the First Year Society.
The principle aim of this society in the
academic field is to bring togther student representatives from all • departments, at meetings where individual students with grievances can easily contact them, and to make information concerning departmental decisions and staff-student committees available to all students.
A more ambitious project would be to establish a "Student Prospectus" publication, to supplement the official L.S.E. publication for potential applicants.
Such a publication would provide information on courses from students actually experiencing them who understand better than the staff how to eradicate the confusion and uncertainty of applicants, thereby preventing grievances later.
It can also serve as a deterrent whenever issues arise in which the opinions of staff and students conflict, since it would give students some- influence over the future popularity of the course.
Doubtless the vast majority of students have no serious grievance about their course, but there are still a few who do.
But improvements will not come unless the First Year Society is participated in and supported and, more important, unless the Academic Affairs Person takes a genuine interest in the well-being of those she is responsible for.
BRIAN VANDERMNDE
(First Year Society Committee)
So now we know !!
SO now we know the true intentions of the Arab world towards Israel. This has been most clearly illustrated by the reaction to the initiative of President Sadat in visiting Israel.
The P.L.O. executive committee, who represent the full spectrum of Palestinian opinion, have declared that they "will not forgive any Arab ruler" for an initiative which amounts to "apostasy against the dearest goals of our people". The goals of the Palestinians are clearly not peace, but , the destruction of the state of Israel.
.Yassar Arafat himself feels "deep sad-, ness that anyone should think of. going and shaking hands with the treacherous Zionist
enemy". His attitude is shared by Syria, Libya and Iraq.
It is important to realise that this has come at a time when attempts are being made to reconvene the Geneva Conference. Israel has been ' accused of intransigence oyer the question of negotiating with the P.L.O. at Geneva. However, the latter's attitude over the last few days has given the best possible justification to Israel's refusal to negotiate.
The P.L.O. refuse to recognise Israeli sovereignty. Their aim is to destroy Israel. Why should Israel negotiate with such a ,body?
, DEBORAH B. COHEN,
Chairperson of the Jewish Society.
waffle
SPEAKING at a poorly-attended meeting, comprising many Press reporters, some LSE Federation of Conservative Students and a few "outsiders", Willie Whitelaw launched the FCS anti-racist campaign at LSE on November 17th.
It was an occasion of mutual congratula--tions, with Whitelaw speaking foV the shadow Cabinet and David Wilks for the FCS.
Crammed with platitudes, such as:—
"We have a responsibility to help those in our society, who face special disadvantages," Whitelaw's speech, in effect, did not pledge the Conservative Party to any new policy ¦ with regard to ethnic minorities, as the audience had been led to believe.
Especial importance was attached to. the need to fight racist groups through argument rather than direct confrontation, and the importance of the role of students was stressed throughout.
Asked why the launching of an anti-racist campaign had been left for so long, White-law denied that the Tory Party had a history of inactivity, and totally rejected the suggestion that the campaign had been started as a vote-catching ploy in view of a forthcoming General Election.
"Insensitive" questions from the Press concerning the Immigration Laws and the opinions of the Monday Club were brushed aside by Whitelaw, who obviously considered them irrelevant to the task in hand.
The whole meeting was a skilful exercise in Press relations and no doubt LSE's Tories were well pleased with the results.
CAROL SAUNDERS
GUY FAWKES
Observant students may have noticed on recent television reports the firemen shouting such slogans as: "Come back, Guy Fawkes, all is forgiven!" These sentiments seem to reflect growing public opinion in favour of this anti-bureaucratic hero of the people. Long live the Guy Fawkes Solidarity Committee. Victory to the firemen.
S*
L
THEY say no news is good news, so perhaps students have had a good time recently. But here are the interesting events unearthed from the pages of the few papers we've received recently.
GRIP from the UMIST Students' Union magazine reveals, in a very good news page, that the number of overseas students being calculated'for in two years' time, is 68,000, a cut of over 18 per cent from this year's level of 88,000. This occurs at the same time as an increase in the overall number of university places of 12 per . cent. from the current level of 270,000.
RIPPLE from Leicester University carries a front-page story on the lack of confidence inspired by George Gladstone, full-time Secretary-General of the Leicester Area-Committee for NUS.
McGAREL, Poly of Centrkl London, has Union problems, with the Union's Constitution and Standing Orders being the basis of the arguments.
FUSE, Poly of North London, carries an article about the conflicts still continuing in the Poly after last year's troubles. Andy Strouthous called, a Press conference to release to the national Press documents claimed to be from the files of the Director, Mr Terence Miller, relating to the dismissal of Wyecliffe Jenkins, head of the Business Studies Department.
Well so much for the news—now the important stuff.
McGAREL contained these gems: "A French spitting contest resulted in tragedy when one of the contestants broke both his legs, both his wrists and fractured his skull. Spitting from the second storey, he had a running start to the window and was unable to stop at the balcony."
"A nine-yolked egg, weighing about one pound, and measuring 5i inches by 2.7, has been laid by a hen in Osh, a city in the Estonian Republic. Bloody Commies beat us at everything these days!"
''A bog seat has been invented which washes and dries the crucial parts of the anatomy and renders toilet-paper superfluous. Could this be scientific delirium gone mad?"
RIPPLE has had to increase its price to 5p. Doesn't it make you feel glad that you are at LSE where the standard of living is so much cheaper? No, I suppose not when all you can think of to do is to read crap like this.
McGAREL'S "Quote of the Week": "My trouble is I analyse life instead of living it"—Hugh Prather.
Talking of Christmas (well, you might have been), McGAREL (yes, again! They actually send us copies of their paper regularly, whereas nobody else bothers) tells us j the Americans have launched the ideal gift j for the person with no friends—a compu- j terised backgammon set.
Finally (thank God) from an old issue of '
Mc--"Did you know that making- love I
uses up fewer calories than throwing a j frisbee?" What can one say?
RICHARD KITCHEN j

PAGE 4
HACKS TO
WAI
ATILLA, Mole
Standing for: Court of Governors. Standing as: a Mole.
Mole's qualifications are, according to him, being "deaf, dumb and blind—a positive advantage for the representatives on the Court of Governors." That's a cruel remark which happens to be true. He also boasts of having no previous experience in bureaucratic institutions. So for Mole Power and a better all-round performance .. .
BAYOUM1, Omar
Standing for: Court of Governors. Socialist Students Alliance.
Much is known about Omar Bayoumi by his acquaintances, and by himself. Holds very radical views so if you want some action injected into Court of Governors' meetings this may (or. as the case may be, may not) be the candidate for you.
BLACKBURN, Mark
Standing for: Building Committee. Liberal Society.
Mark's qualification'is that he is the treasurer of the First Year Society. As he is a first-year student he "cares about what the Strand House move means to us." Bloody swot.
CHAPMAN, Anton
Standing for: Court of Governors. - Independent.
Anton was editor of Beaver last year, and still works for us. In fact he's a brilliant fellow generally (nothing to do with his fingers being round my throat). If you think it's a qualification,. he "regularly attends Union and Exec, meetings (when quorate)". He is also the Government Dept. Staff-Stu-dent committee secretary. A hack ? Never !
CROCKFORD, Peter
Standing for: Court of Governors. S.U. Executive. Broad Left.
Peter has been "active in Students' Union for the past two. years," - though active at what he does not say. He was a student representative last year and this year is on the Staff/ Student Undergraduate studies committee. He believes in
"greater democracy in education and involvement with trade unions" which sounds like fun; and if elected will be "mandatable and accountable to the Students Union," which is jolly decent of him.
DAINETTE, Luc
Standing for: Court of Governors. Post-graduate.
Luc has a whole string of qualifications, including being the monitor of the yoga society. If you're a Common Market fan, Luc's the person for you, being treasurer of LSE's Young European Federalists as well as a former chairperson of faculty students' union in Brussels—i.e., a first-class bureaucrat. "Will defend students' interests"
Super;
. DIXON, David
Standing for: Court of Governors. Labour Club/Broad Left.
David is the "Treasurer of the Labour Club and a regular at-tender of union meetings," or so he says. But he hasn't answered the vital question which concerns us all : does he prefer chocolate-covered digestive biscuits to plain ones ? And will he press for the former at the Governors' meetings if elected ?
ELLIOTT, Guy
Standing for: General Purposes Committee, independent.
¦ ¦:
Guy is a member of the Beaver collective, but otherwise he's perfectly normal. He is vice-chairman of the Jewish society and a first-year student. He claims not to be a political hack.
A poem for Labour MP Jack Ashley with respect for all his work on behalf of the whooping-cough vaccine, brain-damaged children . . .
HEADLINES AND SMALL PARAGRAPHS
The people jump through hoops of joy Now Mark and Anne have had a boy,
For headlines in the Press protract The "news" to so inflate the fact.
The Press would make us more aware Of crippled children needing care If those who have a damaged brain Were now the fifth-in-line to reign.
Though mass-conditioned people bless Our sickly sentimental Press,
Jack Ashley is the country's choice Of conscience with an honest voice.
© N. Racine-Jaques, 1977
Is a bit of a loony, but nice enough when you get to know him.
EZEKIEL, Margaret
Standing for: Building Committee. Broad Left.
Margaret is "interested in Passfield Hall being a self-cater-ing unit," which seems sensible enough. She claims to have "improved the fire regulations in light of the recent scandal at Passfield Hall," but then everyone has claimed the credit for that.
FORRESTER, Kay
Standing for: General Purposes Committee and Students' Union Executive. Conservative.
Kay is a member of: The GPC : the Grants Action Committee ; and the NUS delegation to this year's conference. Wants the Executive to "campaign around issues whrch affect Students." Typical of these Tories: they always prefer to go "around" an issue than to the heart of it.
GALLOWAY, Roger Standing for: Students' Union Executive. International Social-ist/SWP.
»
Roger has not put anything under "Qualifications" on his nomination form. What a modest fellow. Wants to overthrow Monopoly-Capitalist society, etc. Has laughed at my articles which shows he can't be all bad.
GOODCHILD, Andrew
Standing for: Court of Governors, Students' Union Executive and general Purposes Committee. Liberal.
Andrew is Chairman of the Liberal Society and of the Hackney South Young Liberals. He believes that "students and universities must make a united stand against attacks from right and left." Definitely, old chap-but what about attacks from the Centre ?
GOOLD, Bob
Standing for: Library Committee. Liberal.
There seems to be a distinct inverse correlation between the number of candidates a party puts up and the number of votes
On Tuesday, 29th November (today, assuming Beaver has actually come out on time and that you are reading it on time—if not, hard luck !) elections of earthquaking importance will be taking place. The repercussive effects of these elections cannot be estimated, but no-one doubts that after them neither LSE nor indeed Great Britain herself (himself ?) will ever be the same again.
Reliable sources (R. Galloway) have led me to believe that the elections will be to : the Court of Governors (that body of wise old geriatrics); the General Purposes Committee (whose purposes are, or so I am told, general); the Library Committee (of which the less said the better); the Building Committee (which is apparently nothing whatever to do with building); and the Student Union Executive (which does very little, but makes self-important noises from time to time).
Som sham ; ar true. Bu COUNT! Treasurer So, j correspon comments candidate backgroui Liberal ca really are whether a murderers
it gets. Anyway, for those who are interested; Bob is "interested in reading," though reading what he does not specify. But if he could pull off a typical Liberal stunt like getting the Library to take Playboy, he might even get a vote or two.
HOPKIN-WHYTE, Terry
Standing for: Building Committee and Library Committee. Conservative.
Terry has put "Bloody nosey" under the Qualifications column on his nomination form. An odd sort of qualification you might think, but if you're a Conservative and have a double-barrelled name what more do you need to get the right-wing vote ?
INGRAM, Julian
Standing for: Court of Governors. Independent.
Julian, in case you hadn't realised, is our Senior Treasurer which surely disqualifies him from being allowed to bankrupt anything else. His political views are "independent" — of what ?
JAMES, Margot Standing for: Court of Governors. Conservative.
KETTLEBOROUGH, Helena
Standing for: Students' Union Executive. Women's group.
Helena has obviously had a lot of experience in feminist groups; the details would almost fill "the middle pages of Beaver. If you're a strong feminist this is your lady — sorry, person. At least she smiles in her photo which is more than can be said for most of the dour-faced hacks who are standing.
KITCHEN, Richard
Standing for: Court of Governors. Independent.
Margot is on the union execu-' tive (welfare); was Consoc chairman last year ; is a member of Amnesty International; and is active in the women's group. I won't say anything nasty for fear of getting my. teeth kicked in.
Why Vote for Richard ? Well, why not ? He works for Beaver and, oh yes, he helps with Beaver (haven't I heard that somewhere before?). Nice fel-' low, will go far. If you can't stand the Kitchen, get out of the heat . . .?
LLEWELLYN, Malcolm
Standing for: Court of Governors. First Year.
I know absolutely nothing about Malcolm, so perhaps you'd better go and ask him yourself. Hope he's no relation to Roddy
McCOLL, John
Standing for: General Purposes. Labour Club.
On the other hand, I know absolutely everything about John, but some things are best kept private. John was a member of the GPC last year : is the
Executive for Societie the Nation; National ( bour Stude he's got exf he's a hack
NCEB Standing poses Comr Labour Clu
Christoph student re levels of structure of doubtless a time initio meaningful, ended dialo roots in thi the hope t reach the Ii| at both end ' shows his h place—but \ them, outsid of the Rigb
PA
Standing poses Comm Union Execi dents' Alliati
. Chris is i me. I'm si when you ge don't forget him you are publicly pie our wonderl cratic societ. you can sa; water and foods, to me don't think fluence you way . . ,
/ALL: its election time
ng Beaver ading it on ng import-ts of these
that after 'himself ?)
to believe nors (that Committee he Library e Building to do with i does very o time).
Some cynics claim that these elections are a pointless sham ; are fraudulent; will change nothing. This may well be true. But don't let that put you off. YOUR VOTE CAN COUNT! (which is more than can be said for our Senior' Treasurer).
So, just for you—and I mean YOU—Beaver's political correspondent (with special responsibility for irresponsible commentary) is giving a rundown on all—yes, ALL—the candidates, with vital, intimate details of their careers and backgrounds. Hero you can discover how many dogs the Liberal candidates have shot; whether Broad Left candidates really are afficionados for doing it under the blankets ; and whether all Tories like spending the night with ex-Nazi mass-murderers.
JAMES GAUSSEN.
-J, Helena lents' Union 3 group.
ard? Well, ; for Beaver relps with heard that . Nice fel-f you can't get out of
Aalcolm
t of Gover-
ly nothing rhaps you'd m yourself, n to Roddy
ohn
neral Pur-
id, I know ng about gs are best /as a mem-year ; is the
usly had a in feminist would a!-e pages of strong fem-iy — sorry, e smiles in more than lost of the o are stand-
chard
rt of Gover-
Executive Committee member for Societies : and a member of the National Committee of the National Organisation of Labour Students. If you like him, he's got experience ; if you don't he's a hack.
NC^SEL. Christoph Standing for: General Purposes Committee. Broad Left/ Labour Club.
m
Christoph wants to "extend student representation at all levels of the decision-making structure of the School''—and is doubtless at this moment in time initiating an. ongoing, meaningful, relevant and open-ended dialogue with the grass roots in this day and age with the hope that soon we will reach the light round the corner at both ends of the tunnel. He ' shows his heart is in the right place—but who isn't opposed to them, outside the lunatic fringe of the Right ?
PAUL, Chris
Standing for: General Purposes Committee. Students' Union Executive. Socialist Students' Alliance.
, Chris is another enigma to me. I'm sure he's jolly nice, when you get to know him. Rut don't forget that if you vote for him you are voting for someone publicly pledged to overthrow our wonderful, civilised, democratic society. So if he gets in you can say goodbye to hot water and Birds' Eye frozen foods, to mention but two. But don't think I'm trying to influence your decision either way . . .
PRENDEVILLE, William
Standing for: Library Committee. Labour Club.
William is "active in union activities, demonstrations, pick-, ets." Another Red troublemaker, eh ? He believes "Library services have faced unacceptable restrictions due to public spending cuts." He will demand "a more relevant service for students." If he means doing something about the 90 per cent of books being in what are euphemistically called "reserve stacks" he deserves the support of us all.
RAPHAEL, Harris
Standing for: Court of Governors. Independent.
Harris is active in L S E union ; is ex-chairman of the Jewish Society and an NUS delegate. What else can be said about Harris ? Very little that is printable.
RAYMENT, Stewart G.
Standing for: Library Committee. Liberal.
Stewart has been employed in public and academic libraries for three years ; he is a member of the Library Association and the Association of Librarians for Social Change and the changing world of libertarian librari-anship. Is that all ? No : he is also a member of the Board of Studies to the School of Li'brar-ianship plus tons more. All in all he seems to know a bit about libraries. Has he ever had time to go into LSE's library though ?
RICHARDSON, Will
Standing for; Students' Union Executive. International Socialist/SWP.
under Qualifications on his nomination form, but I bet he's done plenty as inactive Trots are about as rare as Labour-voting businessmen. He was proposed by Roger Galloway—how's that for a bit of useless information.
ROBINSON, Steve
Standing for: Students' Union Executive. Liberal.
Steve sounds quite promising at first sight : "Independent loony and general malcontent with radical frame of mind." But, oh dear, he is chairperson of his local Young Liberals: Executive Local Liberal Action Centre ; Research officer Liberal Information office. In other words, another bureaucratic party hack.
ROFF, Tim
Standing for: General Purposes Committee. Socialist Students' Alliance Independent.
Tim has given no details, which is a bit inconsiderate of him. Does he exist ?
SHACKLETON, Richard
Standing for: General Purposes Committee. Conservative.
Richard is a member of the Tory Reform Group—another of these damn lefties, and in the Tory party, too. Is nothing sacred ? He is also secretary to the Finance Committee and Junior Treasurer (Trading Enterprises). Not bad going for a first-year—he's well on the road to hackdom.
SMITH, Paul
Stand'ng for: General Purposes Committee. Liberal.
Will has not listed anything
Paul's writing is rather, poor, but l ean decipher familiar Liberal cliches about the "best deal for students," "political dogma" and so on. He is on the Union's Finance Committee and the Economics Department Staff-student Committee. He claims to have a "flexible" (sic) approach. After all, principles can't be too rigid, can they ?
SPICKER, P. S.
Standing for: Library Committee. Post-graduate.
P.S.'s qualification is that he is "a representative of the Graduate Committee." Such an enthralling piece of information !
But I thought the Graduate Committee was an open one anyway ! (If I'm wrong, Peacock told me that).
VAN DYKE, Ruth Standing for: General Purposes Committee. Post-graduate.
Ruth is a member of the women's group ; an overseas student and has done many things in her time when an undergraduate, including being a student governor and a chairperson of the College Association of Cleveland. Well done !
VAN HOOF, Liiiame Standing for: Building Committee. Post-graduate.
Liiiame is a member of the faculty council of Antwerp University ; a member of AIESEC ; a member of UMA Association ; a Grimshaw. Club member and an overseas student. I've run out of witticisms.
WHITE, Nick Standing for : Gourt of Governors. Conservative.
Well, Nick has helped bring forth some more humorous sallies. Did you know, for instance, that over the past year he has
"been active in the Union, Con-Soc and F.C.S."? Neither did I. He is a member of the Union Executive (AU) and Vice-Chair-man of LSE Conservatives. "So what ?" I hear you say. Don't be so rude. Remember where you are. Members of the Monday Club demand respect — or they'll send the boys in blue round.
WILDRIDGE, G. R.
Standing for: Court of Governors. Labour Club.
G.R. claims to be an "interested LSE student" which to me sounds like a contradiction in terms. That's all I know about him. The question that must be asked is whether he is an interesting LSE student ? If he is really interested the answer must surely be no.
WOODCOCK, Ian
Standing for : Building Committee. Liberal.
No details given except that he's a first-year BSc Economics. Probably the same .as all the
other Liberals.
? ? ? ? ?
Well, that's all, folks. If you've actually taken the time to read alb this it will probably be too late to vote, but it's the thought that counts.
Snecial mention must be made to MARTIN PEACOCK, Returning Officer and genius ("legs like a gazelle, thighs like tugboats") and BRUCE FELL, his deputy (ex-Governor and general upper-class twit, but a ff-oat chan in spite of it all). Without them, none of this would be possible.
JAMES GAUSSEN
CHEAP LEVIS, WRANGLERS, SKIRTS & SHIRTS Florries extension
1st Floor, St. Clements Building EVERY THURSDAY CAMPUS CLOTHES
PAGE 6
UNION MEETINGS
ALL YOU NEVER WANTED TO KNOW BECAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID TO ASK
TORY TWADDLE
Sorry, Kay, but it was the only one that came to mind.
1 KNOW I am not alone in voicing my disgust at the petty-politicing debacle which purports to be the sovereign policy-making body of the students union. Those of you who haven't yet taken part in this great glorious and correct institution may be discouraged from doing so by my remarks. I hope that this isn't the case.
The prevalent attitude at recent union meetings is that, they are merely a joke, a debating society for opposing politicians, a place to be entertained on Friday afternoons. These are just the symptoms of the disease, it is a disease which is spreading throughout the union and which results in inaction in areas where students should make their voices heard, such as education cuts, grants, fees and graduate unemployment.
Union meetings are important. They provide the only opportunity for the majority of students to voice their disquiet with the education they are receiving and to achieve positive change where it is required. The Executive don't take their task seriously, they have continuously failed to highlight student problems. Consequently, the union meetings don't take these issues seriously, while students continue to face hardship, such as : having to commute long-distances every day into the L.S.E., not being able to obtain the books they require from the Library. More seriously, being' unable to continue their studies because they can't afford the fees or they have nowhere to leave their child-Ten during the day. The Tories have fought hard in these campaigns.
This attitude has led to a feeling of total helplessness and alienation from the union by. the majority of students.
Thus student issues are ignored at union meetings, instead the union attempts to forward the revolutionary struggle against capitalism.,To influence external events is not the role of the students' union or even NUS. on this front we must face reality ana realise we can achieve nothing.
We should concentrate our limited resources on the issues where we can have influence, where we can take the School, ILEA, and the DES to task and win. The danger is that the disease of apathy and ridicule has spread and we are failing to take up the issues which we can win.
Perhaps you think our education system is perfect, that students have a high standard of living and there is no need for a students' union. If this is your view I think you are underating the potential value of an active students' union. However, don't forget it costs £70 of public money to stage each union meeting, while old age pensioners live on the breadline, many adults remain illiterate, and classes: in schools are overcrowded, students use public- money to amuse themselves
The solution to the problem lies in your hands. Make the union meet your needs by attending union meetings, 3 pm Fridays in the Old Theatre. Demand action on the issues which affect you.
KAY FORRESTER
KITCHEN THINK
It was either that or More Tory Twaddle
WELL, the term's five weeks old now, but we still haven't had a union meeting which could be described as anything but chaotic. Many peopfe, especially new students, still don't understand what is going on most of the time, and it's quite usual for experienced union hacks to be unsure what they are voting for, while important decisions are being made.
On two occasions people have still been duplicating Agendas while the U.G.M. has been taking place. Last Friday, 28th October, we had to go through almost an entire meeting without any agendas, except the Chairperson's, and even his wasn't complete, due to the mysterious disappearance of part of an important motion on the union's policy of support for terrorism.
There have been constant complaints about insufficient publicity bemg given to U.G.M.' (the posters are required by the constitution). Last.night I saw two posters side bv side. Surely Daud Khan realises- that more people will see the Dosters if they are displayed all around the school. Or, is that too obvious ?
The Union is suffering in other respects. due to Khan's incompetence. It is well known that we lost our ISiUS motions in the first week of term, but it is generally not realised why. When the motions were delivered to Endsleigh Street it was found that the sheets had been mixed up and carts of two motions ¦were missing, thereby making the motions incomprehensible and therefore they had to be refused. They were not rejected because non-relevant bits of information were on the sheets when they
were handed in, as Khan said at a UGM when he was asked about it.
Another example of Khan's inefficiency has been shown by his failure to inform the UGM of the vacancy on Panel. B of the University of London, which deals with disciplinary proceedings. This oversight, or lack of understanding means that LSE has no student to represent students victimised by colleges of the university, in a situation where students have real power since academics on the panel often fail to attend meetings, thereby giving students a potential majority. A motion of no confidence concerning this issue is on the union agenda and will hopefully be discussed in the near future.
Most serious of all is a matter which has just been brought to my attention. Namely that last Thursday Khan was seen giving out lists containing the names of people who are aoplving to the hardship fund, to members of OSAC. This list is supposed to be confidential and it is disgusting that this should be done deliberately by somebody who is fighting to help these very students.
Khan has betrayed these students and the students who elected him to the post of General Secretary last year and he should resign immediate]v.
RICHARD KITCHEN
Spot the Publicity-conscious Trot
THE GENERAL SECRETARY
THE Union meeting is the sovereign body of this Union, tt is supposed to make Union policy and also allocate the money it receives accordingly. At the present time students are under attack (fees, grants, racism, etc.) and the Union should take up these issues as top priority. Union meetings should be debating and deciding how exactly students should be going about fighting on these issues. Instead, what we are doing is preventing serious discussion because of petty political bickering. This is definitely AGAINST the students' interest. Also, if people carry on behaving f*ke this at Union meetings the majority of students will just stop coming and we will end up in a situation in the second term when we will have inquorate meetings.
I would like to remind people that the Union meetings-are a forum for serious debate, discussion and to make policy.
DAUD KHAN (Genera! Secretary).
CHAIRPERSON REPLIES

and Editor, and Returning Officer, and
SO you scream farce at Union Meetings, consider them only good for a laugh and wouldn't come along to them if working in tJie library all day wasn't so boring.
You're wrong though, the Union Meeting
is important. To put it in financial terms, as the sovereign body of the Union, it has control of over £250,000 per annum. As an instrument of control it is far more libertarian and direct than any puerile suggestions of Union Councils, etc.
It should be a forum for debate amongst the student population here, a means for determining common action and the way for deciding on the distribution of our money.	,
Unfortunately there 'are disgusting anomalies in the present system, mainly the result of what can be called constitutionalism. Too much emphasis is being placed upon jargon and "correct" procedure, adhering to a constitution which no-one can find.
The Constitution Committee should be abolished, it destroys the sovereignty of the Union Meeting. In doing its job it hampers the running of the Meeting.
Anotner area which should be destroyed is Policy. Policy is regarded as the magic code Of the Union, as if a decision means anything if it has been carried by a majority of only one or two. Union should debate areas of concern and decide on action, but Policy, as the arena for the empty pyhrric. victories of the political factions. should not be allowed to alienate the mass of students.
Another body which does no good is the Executive. Initiative and action should come from the Union and all the Executive does is destroy that inspiration and at the same time provide an area of tension in the Union waich is unnecessary.
On the political factions generally it is claimed that we are seeing the resurgence
of the Right. What we are .in. fact seeing is the failure of the Left. This is not the result of failing to concern, ourselves with purely i student concerns ' (as advocated by the Tories). It is the product, of their dogmatism, their ideological straitjaekets (which masquerade as principles) and their elitist and "discipline orientated' policies (how many secret committees has OSAC got?). The student body cannot identify with an Authoritarian Left,
As Chairperson I don't want to put forward a magical- cure-all formula. It's just that I feel that the Union Meeting could become more lively—a genuine forum for the student body. We would do better to sweep aside these encumbrances, or at least ignore them (though I doubt if they'll,go away).
Come along to the Union Meeting, it can be entertaining and at the same time the real centre of power in the Union.
PEACOCK
ALL POWER TO THE UNION MEETING!!!
I never wantfu to be Chairperson anywav.
/
BALLET
PRECONCEPTIONS about ballet are even more prevalent than ones about opera; there are still many among us who think that ballet is reserved for schoolgirls and people with a predilection for men in tights.
If this is your attitude, the ballet guaranteed to change it is "La Fille tnal .Gardee" (which will be on at Covent Garden from January). The :nusic is a compilation of popular classical tunes (including the fame is clog dance). The choreography is stunning and the story is a perfect mixture of romance and comedy.
For those who want to jump in at the deep end, "Swan Lake" and "The Sleeping Beauty" are obvious choices. Both are rather more long-wind 5Q and formal (especially the first acts), but are ultimately very rewarding, and well worth the beer you sacrifice by going. Which brings me an to prices. For just over three pints (£1) you can get a seat- in the upper-slips at Covent Garden. This is particularly suitable for those who have little or no desire to see the stage. A safer bet for first-timers is a ;ack amphitheatre seat for £1.50.
The other full-length ballet being performed at Covent Garden this winter is "The Taming of the Shrew". This is a comic ballet which certainly provides a good evening's entertainment, but it is ultimately less saysfying than others.
The Festival Ballet's production of "The Nutcracker Suite" (at the Festival Hall from December 26th) is probably more successful than the Royal Ballet's version, but the standard of dancing is rather lower.
As far as shorter ballets are concerned, some, such as "The Concert", "Elite Syncopations", and "Enigma Variations", can be recommended unreservedly. Some of the plotless ones require more concentration than many full-length ballets, however.
JAMES JOHNSON
OPERA
XT ,vas going to be painful. An air of fear and suspicion pervaded as the gallant editors entered into the unknown. Thus commenced a night at the opera.
It all began when the editors of claimed not only that there was noIT^cxisietrt interest in -opera -at LSE. but also that such interest was unlikely, opera being unnatural. absurd, boring, elitist. "X can't stand that noise" declared Carol ih intellectual mood. I wrote to Helen Salomon of English National, Opera, communicating this woeful situation and was promptly and most generously offered tickets for the editors Nto find out what opera was really like. Neither had . seen one before.
And so we arrived. The curtain rose and the martyrs bravely steeled themselves for the torture to come. The torture came in the form of The Tales of Hoffman, and so noble our editors were, that they expressed their pain by laughing at the humour along with the rest of the audience, and even loudly applauding their inquisitors at the end. Perhaps Carol is masochistic, for afterwards she announced that
she had enjoyed the show. Mai-tin demonstrated his. approval less openly, 'but clearly gentle ointments and sweet herbs not salt had dressed the wounds of his ignorance. Perhaps by seeing something as yet unexperienced, misconceptions can,be corrected and a source of joy and entertainment opened.
WHO WANTS CULTURE?
Further evidence that Opera and Ballet are far from outlawed by Students comes from my recent experiment at Rosebery Hall. I put up a notice announcing that I was selling student tickets for the London Contemporary Dance Theatre at Sadler's Wells and within three days had sold 33. There is interest in most opera, ballet drama and classical-music at LSE. if only the editors of Beaver and the spenders of the entertainments budget would realise it. LSE has been labelled a cultural desert, but not, I feel for lack of people to exploit "The Arts", but the lack of motivation for doing so and a feeling that an appreciation of the "unreal" is incompatible with an existence at LSE.
JONATHAN RICHMOND
LSE drama soc
"MUZEEKA" by John Guare, and "LITTLE FEARS" by Emanuel Peluso, on Wednesday, 30th November and Thursday, 1st December, at 8 pm in the OLD THEATRE.
Nick Broadhurst has chosen two off-Broadway plays for production this term for several reasons. Written originally for the Fringe Theatre which sprang up in New York's Greenwich Village in the mid-'fifties. they are short, simple and require a small cast, are designed for the smaller stage and do not depend on elaborate props to hold them together Visually, More importantly, they are the writer's reactions against the artifice and corruption of daily life in the America of a decade ago, which still seems true of today. The tacit conspiracy between- government. business, media and education, the preoccupation with violence and conformity, displayed and despaired of in America are no longer unknown quantities in this country.
The sugar-pill rationalisation that claims that democracy, justice, love and equality exist in a society dominated by totalitarianism, rank inequality, artifice and corruption will invariably be rejected by some: the sense of quiet despair in a situtation where the individual feels both alienated and regimented manifests itself in John Guare's "hero" as violence, internal and actual, the only human response left.
Emanuel Peluso exposes the undercurrents of naturalistic conversation and the interiors of conventional situations bluntly, showing modern behaviour to be as mannered and artificial as in a Restoration-comedy, despite its seeming blunt gregariousness. Peluso unmasks the deception Of a language which is an elaborate code of wisecrack aril innuendo.
4
THEATRE
OF all the new plays perhaps only two have anything to recommend them.
At the Lyttelton Theatre Feydeau's "The Lady from Maxim's" is a sheer delight to watch. Feydeau's farce has been tastefully anglicised ¦ without straying too much from the original.
"Rosmersholm" is a very different play.	Ibsen's play is about a ;
woman's love for a man which is such as to	totally dominate her life. :
It is a serious (and some would say morbid)	play. However, for those ; who make the effort, it is a treat.
Undoubtedly the worst show to open was "Shut Your Eyes and Think : of England". The plot was vaguely topical. The Arabs were hoping to \ take over the City, turning St Paul's into a mosque and the Barbican ! into a bazaar with the inevitable mix-up involving people's girlfriends. : wives and what-have-you. and a tasteless hand-on-hip, cross-footed por- : trayal of a homosexual from Mr Sinden.	;
When I went to the theatre to see "The Apple Cart" I must confess : that I went- in with two prejudices: I dislike Shaw and don't number \ myself amongst Keith Michell's fans. In abeut two hours both prejudices 1 were significantly softened. The play is not a great- one, but has enough ; about it to make a thought-provoking and at times highly amusing ; evening. The play is about a confrontation between a Labour Cabinet ; and a king over the constitutional rights of the latter.
About the worst thing that could happen to you is going to see j "Laburnum Grove", an old J. B. Priestley comedy about suburban life. ; Although Arthur Lowe excels at playing Mr Suburban Middle Class, the j play lacks a lot of pace and really there is not much to recommend it.
The Royal Shakespeare Company has had a marvellous year so it ; was perhaps inevitable that eventually their luck would break- "The 1 Days of the Commune" is a documentary style play about the Paris : Commune of 1371 by Brecht. Sadly it didn't really work. The play i itself is not a good one, and the translation did nothing to help it.	j
PAUL W!LCE i
Other things on
LATIN AMERICA SOCIETY FORMED
IN previous years there has been a thriving Latin American Society at the LSE. The Society lapsed somewhat last year but this year it is hoped that it will be restored to its former glory.
The Society aims to act as a point of contact between Latin American students and other students interested in "Latin America. Social events and political and cultural activities will form an integral part of the Society's programme.
The society has already organised a discussion about the visit of the former President of Mexico, Eche-verria, to the LSE. A Social evening will be held on Dec 9 in the Brunch Bowl with Latin American music and lots of drink and (hopefully') food. The Society also plans to show a Latin American film before the end of term.
AU are welcome to join Contact the Society at meetings or through the Societies pigeonholes
LSE L.A. SOC.
"Say no io Mikes"—SERA bert-e-fit disco on Thursday, December 1st, St Clements Building, at 7.30 pm.
FILM SOCIETY
WE have unfortunately had to : change the dates, of some of the ; films due to be shown in Decern- i
ber:
"Picnic at Hanging Rock" will : be shown early next term, "Carrie" = will be shown at lunchtime on Wed ; 7th, and there will be a double bill ; on Thurs 8th, consisting of "Bed- ; nobs and Broomsticks" and "God- j father II". This will begin at 5 pm I in the Old Theatre.	[
The Film Society party will be I held on Monday 5th December. =
Watch the Film Soc noticeboard ; and today's events board for fur- i ther details.	\
'THE HARDMAN" — TOM McGRATH
This play, mentioned in a recentj Beaver article (Men behind Bars, : by Ed Walker), is being performed i at the Institute of Contemporary = Arts from 28 November to 17 De-1 cember. It is strongly recom- \ mended to all.	\
"The most stunning play seen ¦ in Scotland this year . . . lively, ; fast-moving often funny, with much ; stylised yet horrifying violence . . . i the questions it asks about the \ ethics of punishment can only be j ignored by the complacent." — The i Scotsman,	i
ALL
GA US SEN GAITERS
FILTH COLUMN
IS it really true that this column is now an official, integral part of Beaver? Many political hacks at LSE believe it is, and have started a hate campaign against it.
Part of this vicious anti working-class tirade is a nujnber of monstrous and unfounded allegations about this column. Foremost is the assertion that this column is an expansionist, imperialist one which will stop at nothing to achieve Beaver domination. If it is not forcibly restrained, they say. it will begin by annexing the Classified Adverts. From there, infiltration of the Athletic page would not be long in coming: and once that was captured, the Entertainments page would be in mortal danger of becoming full of classy stuff rather than its present hack—and cliche-ridden state. And once these traditional strongholds were captured, it is claimed, this column would be ready to prepare for the Final Assault on every other section of Beaver.
I have neither the time nor the space to answer all these absurd accusations. Suffice to say that this column is an essentially peace-loving and domesticated one, which does not- entertain any imperial ambitions. True, if it were attacked by unscrupulous people who wished to • take advantage of its essentia! good nature, it would defend itself. If for example, any political group tried to utilise for its own ends •this independent and non-politica; right-wing column, it would fight back with all the verbiage at its disposal. And if some greedy editors tried to cut it down for whatever reason it ,
(The rest of this article has been cut—Eds.)
; LECTURERS' LASH-OUT j BID
j AFTER the demonstration by 7-,008. : university lecturers in protest over i their terribly low pay (only five : times a student's grant), a huge j wave of- sympathy for their cause j has swept the country.
I "Disgraceful' was the comment ; of one typical man in the street I iK. Klappholz. no relation). "Uni-j versity lecturers are the salt of the ' : earth, and look what they get for I it. I may have to sell one of my : houses to make ends meet."
Another "average man", who coincidentally happens to be a lecturer, told me how his jo'b was little better than sweated labour "Let's face it, we get precious little thanks for our job, and with less-; than half the year free, we have little time to recover from our1 exertions during the term".
Other people told me of the appalling "risk factor" in lecturers' work. This refers to the danger posed by, howling mobs of students who make ridiculous and outrageous complaints about lectures being twenty years out of date, boring, unintelligible and frequently all three.
Sympathy for lecturers is now s® overwhelming that it is believed that firemen, miners, dockers, nurses, teachers etc may forego their pay increases to give to what one lecturer has modestly described as "the most- deserving cause, in the country".
JAMES GAUSSF
PAGE 8
ATHLETIC UNION
RUGBY
UAU 2nd XV vs SUSSEX 2nd XV — at Brighton
THE LSE 2nds opened the UAU campaign this season with a very unlucky 4—0 defeat in difficult conditions. A delayed start, caused by the disappearance of the coach with all our kit on board, allowed the boys to psych up for the game. But even a second half of forward •dominance and a spirited team performance could not eradicate a 4—0 half-time deficit. However, if the side continues to work and improve as it has done over the last couple of weeks, then a soupcon of luck could see some good results in the near future.
k.
Rallying was the order of the day once again in the Sussex bars. An earlier power cut did nothing to prevent the boys from both teams, with sbme moral support from soccer, hockey, badminton and table-tennis, launching themselves on a riotous evening of singing and imbibing. Ramrod and Volume would have been impressed by the bars' excellent Harvey's and Director's. However, they would not have enjoyed the vicious attacks launched on us by the women of hte Sussex University feminist group. Arriving on the scene at 7.45 they immediately tried to disrupt proceedings with a hail of beer, abuse, ashtrays, glasses and bottles. It was a good ninety minutes before some semblance of order was restored by the curtailment of singing and' some quiet discussion between Sussex' and LSE RPC's and the feminists. Drinking-was prematurely curtailed, however, at 10.15 by another power cut, but the singing of those "sexist" rugby songs was enthusiastically recommended on the late coach home.
On the whole it was a day full of incident and enjoyment and our thanks go to Sussex Sports Fed and its camp followers, the catering, bar and ground staffs and World Wide Coaches. Special thanks too. to Miss (should it be Ms?) Westrop, who was speechless afterwards.
fiMibs for an £mas fcraw
AND so we once again approach the time of Christmas festivities when you don't need any excuse at all to drink—well, who ever does? But for those of you who want to do something a bit special here are a few pubs to try for Christmas.
The Charles Dickens in St Catherine's Dock is as suitable to the festive season as the author of the same name was fond of it. An excellent little alehouse in traditional English, style with wooden floors, benches and tables, the Dickens serves Arkells but beware the prices, especially for the food. They serve very good wine there for those of you who want to dilute your meths with something a little smoother than normal!
Ball's wine bar on the Strand has superb Christmas fare especially their cold cuts and this is one wine bar in London which isn't amazingly expensive. The downstairs restaurant has a bit more class about it and usually serves hot turkey from December 1st onwards.
Another fine inn for sampling the Christmas spirit is the Samuel pepys near to Puddle Dock. This is another place of low beams, low lights and low habits! Draught I.P.A. is not a highlight here since the bar staff are all remarkably competent at mixing cocktails and they have a superb range of fortified wines and spirits. I recommend the upstairs bar but steer clear of the restaurant.
Of course, any Youngs pub is well worth a visit at this time of year with the Winter Warmer flowing freely for those of you with very strong heads. I especially recommend the Anglesey Arms (h.b. the presence of Power's Gold Label Irish Whiskey) in Covent Garden, the Spread Eagle on Parkway or the Spread Eagle in Wandsworth.
But whatever and wherever you decide to drink, have a good Christmas and I sincerely hope that you drink your way right through to the New Year.
Keep supping,
ARTHUR
I'ntas presents
IT is customary at this time of year for the Athletic Union to give presents to such people as the ground staff. On the back of the President's Christmas Message we found an A.U. Christmas shopping list and thought it made interesting reading.
Chris Langley — 12 dozen pint tankards
Daud Khan — Linguaphone kit
Steve Lumby — Two free library tickets
Roger Galloway — A new nose so he can pick it
Nick White — Honorary membership of the KKK
Ian Morgan — Kentucky spare-ribs
Dave Little — A Chinese take-away
Alison Westrop — A Christmas goose
Paul Knowles — A load of old twaddle
A1 Newton — Black Beauty
Christine Timms — A blue Moon
Whacker Whitfield — A key to wind his service up
Bob Joshua — a new pair of ch .. underpants
Paul Delaney — Grecian 2000
Jill Arnold — the 1st XV
Pat Moon — subscription to the Timms [no typing error, Ed J Ronnie Paterson —a Scrabble with no consonants Will Evans — a handful of wild heather
Ipresibent's flfccssaoe
LOYAL MEMBERS,—At this time of year, when my committee and I are sitting in the Presidential suite, mulling over matters.of state, we often ask ourselves who is getting the next round of teas in. This term has had both ups and downs. In the U,A.U. for example we maintained our 100% record of failing to qualify in the major sports. However, all is not bleak and I see bright spots on the horizon (drunk again, Ed.). Membership is booming and enthusiasm is rife ... ask Ted if you don't believe me. A number of new clubs have been formed; the parachute club has got off the ground, and the ski club for once has not gone down hill too quickly. Many people have become tied up in the yoga club whilst the future of the gliding club is still in the air. The golf club is in full swing whilst the hockey is sticking to its task; though the mixed team needs a little more up front, they look good at the back.-
Looking ahead to the next two terms, there is a good chance of L.S.E. teams travelling far and wide (Wormwood Scrubs! Ed.). For the Rugby it is the continent of Europe, and for the cricket sunny Kent (again). However, the Celtic Cultural Society remains the major stalwart of L.S.E. abroad. The planned tour of the Emerald Isle is in full swing with yours truly at the wheel. It is on tours such as these sprees that the L.S.E. spreads goodwill and bonhomie abroad whilst adding to its valuable collection of overseas art works especially road signs.
And so, as you journey home for Christmas, like the C.C.S., I hope that, you too will spread the message of good Will;
Happy Christmas,
II Presidente.
Necrophilia ?
IT gives us great pleasure to announce the formation of a new society within the structure of the Athletic Union, the "Lady of the Lamp" Club. The need for this club has arisen because of the unusually high injury rate amongst LSE Sportspersons this season. We are looking for sympathetic young men and women prepared to dedicate some of their spare time to ministering to the needs of our wounded heroes. You get your very own patient, to look after during the course of his or her convalescence. Applications should be made to the AU as soon as possible. Please help your representatives.
Those interested should contact P. Knowles, who is auditioning all this month. No experience necessary, though a sympathetic nature and no current attachment to a member of the opposite sex are both useful assets.
YOUR AU NEEDS BUDDING YOUNG FLORENCES NOW.
SPORTS PERSONS' DRINKING GUIDE'
SADLY, since the last column there has been a most -unfortun-ate development. Following contact with several bottles of White Shield Arthur contracted a severe dose of ebriety which resulted in his incarceration. As a result this week's column is based solely on my own experience.
An area of great interest to the sporting types is Richmond. Three rugby clubs are at hand, while the presence of several excellent curry houses are an added attraction for the dedicated among you.
Perhaps the most famous pub in Richmond is the Orange Tree. The • beer. Youngs' lives up to the Place's fine reputation, but if you prefer an evening in a less "pseud-ish" atmosphere, try the Sun (Fullers) just around the corner. The ESB is fine, and should be drunk with care. An added attraction at this pub is the large number of local sports personalities who frequent it. Well w:orth a visit after the game-^stay late for a sing song.
Moving from the Old Deer Park area, we find below Richmond Hill, the Tudor Close. This well proportioned pub is definitely one for the summer months. Located next to the river, it is an ideal venue for long, hot Sunday afternoon sessions on the Felin foel.
Leaving Richmond we now arrive in Twickenham. I have many happy memories of this area but
SKI CLUB
THE Ski Club is offering a varir ety of activities this year for both the novice and the experienced skier.
Several members of the Club did well in the U.L.U. Ski Team trials and we are hoping to hold further trials soon for those who missed the last ones.
We are planning a weekend trip in early February which will involve two days' ski-ing at one of Scotland's top resorts. Accommodation, travel, ski rental, ski passes and food will be arranged through the Weekend Ski Club or through the Y.H.A. and by using various student reductions.
We are periodically showing Ski Films at General Meetings and we are arranging an entertainments evening at which we. shall show two films, have a lecture on the technical make-up, waxing and repair of skis by Chris Esson, the manager of'Alpine Sports, and will be raffling a complete pair of skis too.
On alternating Wednesday evenings there is free instruction available for beginners at Alexandra Palace Ski Slope, and practice for the more experienced skier at Sandown Park.
For those who are interested in getting fit expressly for skiing, there is an exercise period to inform you about the sort of exercises you should be doing.
For further information on current activities see the notice board in the Concourse area of the St Clements Building.
STEVE WHANT (Chairman).
not all of them to do with H.Q. For just below the station is a marvellous pub, the Cabbage Patch. Noted for its horrible Guinness and incorporeal keg, this is a place for meeting rather than drinking. Nevertheless a good time can oe had here, especially before the game.
¦ Back in the metropolis proper, one area which no-one should miss, is Wandsworth. The number of excellent pubs situated about the Ram's brewery is countless—after ten pints. A few which stand out above the rest are the Brewery Tap and the Spread Eagle. The latter is noted for its large bar which is ideal for playing such fun games, as bar-diving, buzz and Biggies. The landlord does not mind a good sing song, while some of the locals are great characters. All in all this is probably the best area for pubs in London.
Finally, for those of you who prefer an evening in more luxurious surroundings I recommend Wards Irish Bar in Piccadilly Circus. As expected the Guinness is excellent. Good wholesome bar snacks and plenty of atmosphere. One warning though—the stairs are very steep and have been known to move on leaving.
A few weeks ago we criticised certain halls of residence. We admit a certain bias in the picture we painted of these establishments. Working under difficult conditions the staff provide cheap beer and are making the best use of the'ir limited resources. We wish them luck with their efforts to make student life more bearable and thank them for showing an interest "in this column.
Victor Voiume and
Arthur Ramrod
STREET HOCKEY
THIS is a variation on ice-hockey, played on a hard surface, a road or tennis courts. It is a common past-time of children and teenagers wherever ice hockey is played.
The rules of the game are essentially those of Ice-Hockey, but as street hockey is usually played casually, there is usually no referee, it being left to the players to regulate play by "fair play".
This is fairly common in Canadian Universities, where they have fully organised floor hockey competitions.
There are six players involved in each team at any one time—a goalkeeper, two defenders, and three forwards. A team may have as many as two line changes, excluding the goalies upon the bench.
If you are interested in joining an LSE street hockey club, please sign the notice in the concourse area of the St Clements Building and keep an eye on it for notice of a meeting in the future.
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