Xhe Beaver 12th October, 1992 The Students' Union Newspaper of the London School of Economics Issue 362 /L^anir Lies To UGM By Mark Dantos and Harjeev Kandhari The Student Union's General Secretary has been "caught lying to the UGM", according to some members of the Union. At the last UGM on Thursday Fazile Zahir was accused of sending a Fax with her holiday photos to Cyprus at the cost of the Student U nion. The allegations which had been submitted in a question to the General Secretary by Bernardo Duggan, member of the Conservatives at the LSE, were denied by Zahir. She said that as it had not actually been sent she saw no reason to pay for it at all. Later enquiries revealed that one page of the Fax, dated 3:25 on the 21st of July and adressed to someone called Catdt Akin, was sent. When confronted by the actual truth, Zahir said that "surely, if I sendmy worknumbertomy family, I, as a sabbadcal, am endtled to do it." This statement was given after Zahir had been warned not to fall prey to her usual habit of making the sort of rash statement which have caused her difficulties in the past. In that context she admitted that some of her statements tended to get her into difficulties. "But", she added, "I don't want to watch my mouth for political reasons." Apology The Beaver Collective wishes to apologise for any offence which may have been caused by page three of its spoof issue of 18 May. The Beaver accepts that although intended to satirise the Page Three institudon of tabloid newspapers, a number of students found the page to be sexist and degrading to women. The Beaver accepts that it is bound to abide by the Students' Union Constitution and it wishes to reaffirm its commitment to doing so in the future. ormer Executive Editor Madeline Gwyon vi'ith the offending article. Photo: Steve East Stricter Funding Regulations 4 1# Poverty increases as Government cuts funding by Khalid Majid In a surprising move the Students' Union has turned down the school's plans to make them responsible for allocadng part of the government's access funds. Peter Harris , the SU welfare officer, called Access funds themselves "the government's pathetic attempt to make up for the withdrawal of housing and unemployment benefit and income support." This year the government allocated £ 151,380 to the LSE, an increase of only £1500 and less than one percent on last year's figure. In real terms - due to both infladon and rising student numbers -there is a decrease in funding. In response to the actual decrease in funding the LSE has introduced strict new guidelines in order to tighten up the eligibility of students capable of receiving funds. Students who do not receive an LEA award because the L.E. A has refused an application for a discretionary award and students with child care commitments or with re-sponsibihties for caring for sick or elderly depen- dants are sdll eligible. Students with disabili-des will also be considered. In addition some funds are supposed to be earmarked for students with difficulties arising out of unemployment during the summer vacation 1992. However, such students should keep their bank statements from over the summer as proof of financial hardship. Finally, the funds are also intended to enable eligible students - who through financial constraints would not otherwise have been able to attend the L.S.E - to take up their place in October 1992. Harris has pointed out that the funding for this purpose "in practice was grossly inadequate." Miss Fazile Zahir, S.U General Secretary claimed the main point of contention with the L.S.E was that "the school was trying to offload some of its work on to us." She also viewed it as "a P.R exercise, to depict the school and S .U in harmony." At the same time she insisted that the Scholarship Office was "very helpful and doing its best up to the point of bending rules" in order to help the students in need. Mr Harris viewed some of the school's proposal as unworkable for several reasons. Most importantly, he asserts that the access funds assigned to the S.U would have to be allocated to their own existing criteria. According to the sabbaticals the school remains vehemently opposed to this. In contrast to the school's criteria, the S.U's own hardship fund which held £30,814 in the academic year 1992-3 is available to not only home and EC students but to international students as well, as long as they can prove their need. At the same time the school is considering increasing home master's fees from £1,700 to £6,700 on account of the school's current financial crisis. Harris, while in op-posotion to any increases, believes this could only be sustained if 50% of any increase were to be allocated to an enlarged version of the school's own student supportfund, specifically to assist students in need. The S.U would also have to have "more input in drawing up the criteria." Most worryingly of all, he contends "the school has been making noises to ditch the studentships altogether." Zahir added that the school's proposals would result "in only between one in two or three currently eligible students being able to receive access funds." The two sabbaticals have declared that they would not take these "sweeping changes unchallenged." According to Harris the DSG plans a campaign on the issue. The DSG is also planning to demand that the L.S.E commits itself to quotas of students according to fee-type , so as to rule out the possibility of "creeping privatisation." Zahir said that she had written an article in the LSE-Club-Bulle-tin in order to obtain funds and was considering several other plans. At the time of writing Miss Hannah Cocking, the school's Scholarships Officer was not available for comment. 2 News Union Jack Nothing really went right last Thursday. We started late. The order paper was in the wrong order and contained only one Business Motion. There were no microphones for the Chair. Business as usual, as the same old people saw and/or threw the same old things. Geriatric DSG hack Bob Gross opened the meeting to elect a Chair and Vice-Chair. Tory Simon Reid won the Chair by about 2-1 over DSG's newly assertive Ludwig Kanzler, who then narrowly denied the Vice-job to Balcony Boy and wannabe sabbatical Ron Voce. Why the suit and tie, Bob? Simon, back in the Chair he occupied so ably and sarcastically part of last year, immediately showed his rust. After ratifying ancient minutes from the last UGM (12 March!), we stumbled over Union Council minutes (8 May). SWSSoLarry andcom-rades objected to the part about full cost Masters' fees. Old Bob, noting that we were ratifying only the minutes and not the substance from that meeting, noted that was the subject of Business Motion 1, so we can all oppose this heinous plot against student welfare. The vote was 52-51 for ratification after the Chair's casting vote. Much ado over sweet F.A. Officers' Reports were the usual mixed bag. General Secretary Faz welcomed us back with the minutiae of her summer activities, including travels to our halls of residence and Heathrow Airport. Finance-dude John Spurling ('Get us a PA you tight bastard' from a heckler) announced two meetings. Nothing about finance. Caring Peter Harris invited us to jump out of a plane (for charity). And Party-mogul Jon Bradburn looked forward to seeing Faz' mascot. The meeting's best substance came after hardworking Women' s Officer Tesher Fitzpatrick won outside speaking rights for a visitor from Campaign against Domestic Violence. Our guest presented some scary facts: most assaults against women are committed not on the streets but at home. And a big reason why the police do so little is that 60% of male coppers batter their own partners. I hope for good coverage for the Campaign' s demo on 10 October. After Dominique De-Lite's request for support for Anti-Racism Week, we were off to those dreaded Questions to Officers. Bernardo wanted to know whether Faz had paid the Union for faxing her holiday pics home. Faz' faxes facts are that they never got there and why should she pay. Why indeed? Lefty wag and wit Andy Baly completely stumped The Spurl, a philosopher, with a question on physical determinism. Baly then inquired whether any of this year's sabbaticals planned to lead actively. Cue Peter Harris. The spring in his step and gleam in his eyes must have sent a few pulses racing. But indeed we will lead, starting with, yes. Business Motion 1. His less spicy speech in favour was still effective. But it was not to be. Woody Bild opposed the motion because it did not address the cuts in Higher Education. I sympathise with him for being in a seminar group with 45 people, but I sympathise more with the 45 people who are in there with him. Stop wasting our time. Woody. If you agree with what's in a motion but want it to say more, don't oppose it; amend it. Anyway, the big hand was on the eleven. We still had someone's amendment to discuss, and rude people were coming and going, when Simon laid the motion on the table and closed the meeting. The stage is set, the cast is primed, and the audience are confused. See you next week. The Beaver, 12th October 1992 LSE Revamped By PernillaMalmfalt and Andrew Holmes The summer vacation saw some dramatic changes to the refurbishment of the LSE buildings. Continuing students returned to a modernised Old Building, as well as a new student reception, and an additional building. The Cafe has also been revamped. As part of a five year plan to improve the standard of the School, the Building Committee decided to refurbish the Old Building manifested by a completely new decor throughout the corridors and staircases. There is unanimity in the view that the building has changed for the better, though rumours persist that some lecturers still have difficulties finding their offices. Mr Michael Arthur, LSE's Site and Development Officer, said that the changes were "necessary to create a more pleasant environment for students and staff alike". Since loosing County Hall, LSE will continue to make improvements to the Houghton Street sites on a yearly basis. When asked whether the School had any plans to improve the space and efficiency of the overcrowded catering facilities, Mr Arthur was sympathetic but not very optimistic. The only possibility to expand the Brunch Bowl is by removing the offices around it to get more dining space., he said. This would leave the School with the problem of relocating the offices which could only be solved if and when further buildings are purchased. The St Phillips building on Sheffield Street, which was once a hospital, was purchased by LSE last year and has been called "a bright and airy addition to the school". In the South Block it accomodates the new Student Health Service which last year was situated on the eighth floor of Connaught House. A continuing student commented that it was "looking healthier than before" even though the style of the decor is the same as in the Old Building. Also located to the South Block are 20 offices for researchers working on issues related to Europe. The North Block con- sists mainly of 22 new teaching rooms (marked X on the students class lists) and a remaining 10% of the building has been allocated to commercial lettings; some of the tenants are from the Hansa Society and the European Institute. The Students' Union has also received its fair share of refurbishment and re-organisation during the summer. There is now a Students' Union Reception on the ground floor of the East Building which deals with inquiries, room bookings, issuing of NUS, ULU and ISIC cards as well as any other administration. The Welfare and Accommodation Offices, often called the S abbaticalsDeny Holiday Allegations By Stephen Roy and Adrian May The embattled Union General Secretary, Faz Zahir, is facing renewed criticism this week after allegations that she took a three week holiday just weeks after assuming office. This latest row comes at the end of a week when questions have been asked about how some of the Union sabbaticals spent their time over the summer break, and whether they were putting in a reasonable amount of time to their jobs. The Beaver has put these allegations to both the Union General Secretary and the Welfare and Equal Opportunities Officer, Peter Harris. Both strongly denied that they were not devoting enough time to their positions. Harris called Zahir's decision to take such a long holiday after such a short time in office "naive". He was careful to point out that his own holiday, lasting one week, was taken before his sabbatical started on August 1st. Stressing his determination to focus on student issues rather than personality, Harris spoke of his regret surrounding the present allegations. "We should be concentrating on the real issues, such as voluntary union membership, the state of the Halls and the debate over Masters fees", he said. Similar opinions are voiced by many students, who regret that the General Secretary at this stage has not yet managed to gain any sort of positive profile. It is feared that Student Union policy might get bogged down completely if "open warfare between more established groups within the Student Union and the General Secretary breaks out." Both Harris and 2^hir have been active over the summer break in preparing events for new student and for the wider community. Much of Zahir's time has been taken up with personal projects, such as the Aunties and Uncles scheme, which by many was acknowledged to be a success, although the sheer logistics of the event caused a few problems. Harris has been involved in many of his "filing cabinet jobs", including arranging various awareness weeks on topics like HIV, Racism and Gay rights. He also disclosed that he had a few personal projects in the pipeline, but could not reveal them at this stage. The two remaining Union sabbaticals, John Bradburn and Jon Spurling were not available for interview at the time of going to press. mainstream administration of the Union, are still located on the second floor of the East Building. The vegetarian Cafe has brightened up in colour as well as efficiency. Staff in the Cafe pointed out that teas and coffees can also be purchased on the top floor at the Hackers Bar too avoid queues. The walls have been redecorated with photographs taken by blabla at sososo. In general changes have been met with a positive response, and new students, expecting a derelict site after reading reports in the National Press may have been disappointed. Spate of Thefls By Beaver Staff Over the summer £40,000 worth of computer equipment was stolen, including a lazer printer from E207. As a result extra security men have been employed at LSE. The School believe that the theft was carried out by someone who was familiar with the premises. In addition the Underground was broken into, and according to General Secretary, Faz Zahir, a turn table was stolen. It is reported that the School porters "saw nothing". Win a trip to Vietnam and your travel writing career could go places. iliiii iii •" 111'" uii Do you want to break into journalism? If you're 25 or under, you'll have a great chance on Saturday October 10 when we announce the details of The Daily Telegraph/Cathay Pacific Airways 'Young Travel Writer Of The Year' competition. All you have to do is submit a 500 word article on a travel theme - real or imaginary. We'll be sending the six fmalists on a press visit to Vietnam. And as they'll have scheduled Cathay Pacific tickets, they'll be able to stay on for a holiday. Then all six will write a further piece, and the winner will be commissioned to write at least three or four pieces by our Travel Editor at our offices in Canary Wharf. Last year's winner ended up in Namibia, the Himalayas and Alaska. So if you win, your career will really be on the map. For further details and an entry form, see The Daily Telegraph on October 10, or write to The Daily Telegraph Young Travel Writer Of The Year Award, PO BOX 2243. London E14 9ZY. CATHAY PACIFIC 4 Sounding Off The Beaver, 12th October 1992 The State of the Union. The start of the academic year heralds the resumption of Union Politics. In an opinion piece, Steve Peake tells the story so far. He also discusses the future role of the General Secretary in the light of some recent controversies. It is perhaps understandable that the bitterness of defeat leads, almost without exception, those who lose S.U. elections to immediately begin speculation about how long it would take for the victor to be ousted from office the following year. This is especially the case when someone not normally recognised as being part of the Union political "establishment" runs and wins on a campaign for change, pointing to the cliquey and closed nature of the Union, dominated by the Hacks and out of touch with the"normal student." This was the case in 1989 when Tom Bulman surprised everyone by soundly beating two established figures of the Left. Arguing that his lack of a firm foundation of support would leave him isolated and vulnerable, those rejected by the predominately anti-establishment electorate assured themselves that Tom would be lucky to last a term in office. Whilst the domination of the UGMs by the most enthusiastic participants in Union politics ensured that the UGM would be a less than sympathetic audience for Toms "apolitical" and "anti-establishment" ideas, the plans, or more accurately aspirations, to have him ousted came to nothing. His year in office was, if hardly spectacularly successful, more characterised by low-profile management than upfront political leadership. The history of the Union since then has reflected the change in the composition of the student bcxly, with the increasingly prosperous (or in the language of theirpedecessors "bourgeois") and hence "moderate" students rejecting the traditional ideological approach to wider political issues, in favour of a more "pragmatic" approach to what have perhaps narrowly been defined as "student issues." The personification of this "realist" approach was the previous General Secretary, Michiel van Hulten of the Democratic Socialist Group, who adopted a policy of rapprochement with the school and continued the style of low-profile management, all under the motto of "Boring but Competent." As a result student apathy has become a serious problem, a consequence perhaps not only of van Hulten'slow-key approach, but of the increasing predominance of overseas students paying fees of £6()()() a year and who are therefore less likely to care so much about Student Loans or the Poll Tax than their debt-burdened British counterparts. Unsurpri.singly this has led to a backlash from The Left, culminating in theformation of the Left Society who based their election campaign on a return to the mythical Golden Age of confrontation and inflexible ideology. However, dissatisfied with van Hulten's neglect of public relations and the failure of the DSG to build on their successes, last year's students opted for a continuation of the trend away from "issue based" politics towards an approach founded more on considerations of methcxl and style rather than policy. Hence the election of candidates running on predominately "apolitical" tickets, promising to "open up the Union" by encouraging greater participation through greater communication with the student body as a whole, rather than the tiny minority who turn up to the meetings of the "Sovereign Body" - the Union General Meeting. Criticism of this approach, championed by Faz Zahir and the inanely named Umbrellas Group, stemmed from the belief that the best way to fight apathy was to come up with interesting ideas and policies about which debate could be stimulated and hence the vibrancy of the L.S.E.S.U. restored. Added to this was the belief that rich or poor, British, EC or otherwise, we as students do not live in a political, economic or cultural vacuum. From that point of view, events outside the walls of our ivory tower do merit discussion and action because eventually we too will be living "in the real world".' More importantly, as students we have an opportunity to embrace ideas that challenge the economic and political status quo, witness events in Berkeley, Paris, Berlin, Leipzig, Prague, Budapest, Bucharest, Beijing... Considerable concern was expressed that to adopt a more high-profile communicative role without any ideas of substance whatsoever would be to bring about a condition of "institutionalised apathy", whereby the absence of any leadership on policy issues would condemn the Union to another year of bland, uninspiring and hence inevitably poorly attended UGMs. A potential source of controversy focuses on the fxjsition of Zahir who ran a campaign which -as she herself admitted -was called controversial. She is deeply unpopular with most of the active members of the Union that and true to form, speculation is rife about exactly how strong her incumbency will last. So successful has she been in alienating almost everyone except her small clique of supporters, that she will need to draw on all the resources of strength of character that she undoubtedly possesses, if she is to survive. Her use, some would say shameless exploitation, of a homeless person to provide publicity; her handing out of balloons and lollipops; her reliance on her physical appearance, whereby her leaflets had nothing more than a picture of her posing invitingly in Lincolns Inn Fields - has led some, among them the previous General Secretary, to describe her campaign as "extremely objectionable", "opportunistic, deceitful" and "the most childish in recent times." At a time of increasing incidence of date rape and sexist behaviour, Zahir's apparent willingness to adopt such base means brings into question her commitment to "Women's Issues" which have traditionally received strong support from the Union. Perhaps Tesher Fitzpatrick, SU Women's Officer, until now silent on the issue, should have something to say on this matter. Zahir has responded to the criticism by arguing that her "campaign was the cleanest "and dismisses accusations as the product of "misunderstandings." It is unlikely, however, that this will be enough to stem the tide of antipathy and hostility that her campaign has provoked, and it is widely held that both the S.U. executive and her fellow sabbaticals will be far from supportive should the going get tough. It is, however, unlikely that moves towards censure and eventual no-confidence motions will receive the requisite support if they are based on grievances of a more personal nature, left over from an democratic election that, let's face it, she won. On the surface, her commitment to pragmatism, maturity, and accountability, would seem to strike a chord with the student body tired of a U nion run by "Hacks" seemingly out of touch with student interests and needs. A brief look beneath the veneer of openness and honesty, as reacdon to her campaign would initially suggest, tells a different story. Zahir has repeatedly expressed solidarity with those suffering from the harsh effects of government education policy, arguing that "it is outrageous that many finish their courses over £2000 in debt." Indeed it is, but as theproudowner of a particularly expensive looking car, and the beneficiary of not-inconsiderable financial support from her family, one wonders exactly how in touch she is likely to be with the difficulties of living in London on £80 a week. If she is so concerned about "larger grants, more welfare" then how can shejusdfy first of all even applying last year for Access Funds (government money administered by the school to assist poorer students), and most offensively, immediately blowing it all at Miss Selfridge (as reliable sources inform us ). Notwithstanding her vacuous campaign, Zahir has responded to accusadons that she has no policies by saying "we shall see." So far, several matters have surfaced which shed light on the probable state of things to come. Seeking to increase awareness of the Union, particularly the General Meeting, Zahir has commissioned an article on the history of the UGM, accompanied by acommentary on notable "UGM Personalities." Paid for by the Union, costing an estimated £600, both pieces contained attacks and insults against her adversaries. Under pressure from the executive, many of the most opinionated aspects were withdrawn. It remains to be seen as to how the use of Union funds for what remains essentially an opinion piece will be justified, and it is probable, in light of the exec.'s decision, that Zahir may be held polidcally liable for the publication. Concern has also been expressed concerning future relations between Zahir and the Beaver, traditionally editorially independent and one of the checks on the activities of the elected officials of the Union. During discussions on the fate of the "History of the UGM" during which it wasdecided that some of the more personal and contentious aspects were to be published in the Beaver, rather than as an official Union publication, Zahir was heard to say that publication had been assured by Ron Voce, a close personal friend and running mate in the elections, who was said to have the "power because he's my friend." Members of the Beaver collective and editorial staff are worried that the clo.se ties between Neil Andrews - Executive Editor, Voce and Zahir will compromise the editorial independence of the Union Newspaper. Furthermore, members of the exec, are worried that the Zahir's apparent approach to polidcs is likely to exacerbate the cliqueiness of the Union, rather than reduce it, as she as promised. On the Whole, recent events would seem to illustrate a marked lack of maturity, pragmatism, or in light of her failure to consult any of her Union colleagues, commitment to accountability on her behalf. It does not seem that so far Zahir has made an auspicious start, with a greater emphasis on wasdng Union money than on providing students with the services they need. ^hir is vulnerable too, on her overt support for the Turkish government in northern Cyprus and Turkish Kurdistan. The sizeable Greek Cypriot community at the LSE is unlikely to welcome her support for the illegal occupadon by Turkish troops of the northern part of their country, and supporters of human rights will hardly embrace her apologies for the treatment of dissident KurdsorTurks. All in all, it seems that Zahir is in for a tough dme, in that some of the most experienced figures within the Union, as well as a seemingly revitalised DSG, seem intent on making life as uncomfortable for her as possible. It would be perhaps a poetic irony if the student apathy she seeks to combat were to be diffused by a common commitment on behalf of a deceived and cheated electorate to get rid of her. 5 AOB THE WOMEN'S COLUMN Welcome to the reincarnated and soon to be reconstituted Women's Column. This is the first time for three years that The Beaver is including a Women's Column as a weekly feature. The Women's Column is about many things. It is a space for women's views and news, upcoming events both within college and outside it, in London. It is a place where a woman's opinion counts, an opportunity to reach a captive audience, to rant and rave or simply state your case. So whether you want to publicise a campaign you're involved in or want to relay an experience CONTRIBUTE by contacting -The Editor Room El97 Tel: ext. 2870 The Women's Room is a common room for women students situated on the top floor of The Cafe (Room E91). The Women's Room is what you want it to be - somewhere to meet up with friends, eat your lunch or read quietly. Additionally you make use of the resources at hand -information is available on a wide range of issues. The Women's Group is about women, from throughout the college, getting together to discuss and campaign on women's issues. If you are interested in becoming involved then come along to any meeting - Every Tuesday 1 - 2p.m. The Women's Room Upcoming Events Tuesday 13th October: At 1pm a commemorative event will be held to celebrate the founding of the Gay Liberation Front at the LSE, twenty two years ago. The Women's Group meeting has been abandoned because the Pink Plaque occasion is to good to miss! Wednesday 14 October: Women' s Buffet lunch in the Women's Room at 1p.m. A chance to meet other women students and enjoy more of The Cafe's food! Tickets available sooner rather than later from the Women's Officer. 2-4pm. Assertiveness training classes begin. They are held in rooms S75 and run for 8 weeks. Even if you haven't signed up, but are interested,come along and see for yourself if this course is for you. Please remember to take a pen and some paper with you. Friday 16th October: The Parents Society is holding its first meeting of the year in the womens room. This is a n open meeting, so that means that students who are fathers are welcome to come along as well. If you are a student and a parent, then please come along and help raise awareness on childcare issues. The Women's Officer this year is Tesher Fitz-patrick. She has a responsibility to represent women students, their concerns and collective interests in Students' Union campaigns and in its daily operations. If you need to contact the Women's Officer or would like some questions answered then leave a note in her pigeon hole at SU Reception (Room E65) or leave a message in the Women's Room. The Women's Handbook is coming to you in the first week of term. You can pick up a copy in the Women's Room. It contains useful information on health and welfare issues and offers guidance about specific women's organisations in London. Within the Women's Handbook there is a "Feed Back Form"- if you till this out remember to post it in the box outside SU Reception. The Beaver, 12th October 1992 ANY OTHER BUSINESS! The Re-Unveiling of the Pink Plaque As part of the LS-ESU's committment to Lesbian andGay rights, the Pink Plaque will be re-unveiled on Tuesday 13th October at 1pm. The LSE has a proud history in the Lesbian and Gay movement dating back to the first meeting of the Gay Liberation Front in 1970. Even so, the school's Court of Governors did not welcome the idea of the Pink Plaque, but this initial resistance was overcome. Several prominant speakers will be attending, including Angela Mason, the new Director of S tonewall, Aubrey Walters, a founding member of the GLF and a representative of the Shakti Group for South Asian Lesbians andGay Men. The re-unveiling takes place after its theft last year and it is hoped the new security arrangements will be adequate. The Union has shown determination in its efforts to preserve and publicise the Plaque and will continue to do so. The Return of the Labour Club This column was designed to publicise student politics at the LSE. The original intention was to go into Executive meetings and any other 'open' meetings and publicise anything interesting that came up. So far this year there has been little of interest.Unless you count yours truly being accused of being a 'close personal friend' of the General Secretary, which these days is almost tantamount to front page headlines in the tabloid press. You will begin to realise the tedium of these meetings, when I tell you that the Executive voted on whether to vote by secret ballot,. whether meetings that don't say they are open may be 'open' or 'closed', that the Chair should rotate, the Chair person, not the thing you sit on, and that there should be some sort of rota, so that everyone had the chance to speak!. There have been some interesting topics though. Such as regarding the 'Quick Guide to the UGM' where an interesting disclaimer was agreed on because the Executive did not like the articles that had been written LSE Accomodation came in for a battering. Butlers Wharf for charging people during the holidays, whether you stay or not. Students at Passfield had paid £ 10 to much and even though hall charges have risen, it is almost innevitable that Maple and Fitzroy street Flats will soon no longer be available. The attendence so far from your elected representatives has been pretty good, once the holiday season was over. But todays meeting was poorly attented and was in-quorate. There were three -apologies, but for the rest of you, we wonder, where were you? So the first column comes to an end and now I await week two. If anyone has anything political to announce this is the place for it. I will be going along to more than a few meetings and although they may be boring, maybe I can jazz them up a bit! Ron Voce After several UGM motions last year bemoaning the death of the Labour Club at LSE, it seems its death has been greatly exager-ated. With the General Election defeat behind them and the election of a new leader, maybe the LSE Labour Club can stage a comeback as the.new look Labour party is also trying to do. With the Left already a crowded area at the LSE, with SWSS, Left Society et al, it may be hard to regain ground they lost last year. If you think they can and are interested in politics and want to nail your colours to a particular political mast then go along to theirinaugral meeting. It is in CI20, the Boardroom on Wednesday 14th October at 1 .(X) pm, when elections will be held. As always, all are welcome. ORDER, ORDER! A Freshers eye view on the U.G.M. Is it the job of the fresher to take the initiative and become acquainted with his or her new environment , oris it the responsibility of those already familiarwiththe system to educate and instruct those same poor lost souls? I would suggest that in the case of the UGM it is the latter. Having been unable to attend the staged debate last Thursday on the relative merits of two football (?) teams (because I, like most other first years, was lost in that labyrinth that is the LSE, vainly searching for the registry), I came away from this Thursdays meeting feeling rather less than enlightened. I also confess that I didn't get round to reading page 11 of the SU handbook or picking up my copy of the LSESU constitution from E205, but then I suspect neither did many other people. So maybe this sense of mystification is all my own doing but I doubt it. Once the meeting had started a Chair and Deputy were elected (who?). At this point some time should have been set aside so that the procedures used to run and manage the UGM could have been oudined to relieve the incredulity of the Freshers (and it should be added, several of the regular participants!). Rapidly we moved onto the first point of business, but then almost as quickly we reached our first hurdle; accepting the minutes from the previous meeting. After 20 minutes of stimulating debate and intellectual argument over the accuracy of the said minutes, first years began to come off of the sidelines and started to vote for ratification, even though they obviously didn't attend the last meeting; anything to get things moving!! Further business was thwarted by time constraints and the subsequent arrival of attenders for the next lecture. On Thursday showing I would definitely recommend the UGM as a cheap alternative to comedy night, though from an educational point of view 1 only improved my knowledge of paper aeronautics; the relati ve performances of *ne SWSS Spitfire, he Conservative Concord and the Middle of the road Messerschmidt. You can call me naive, call me straight laced, call me sad and deluded, but don't call me to become the UGM PR man!! See you next Thursday. Philip Gomm. 6 Opinions The Beaver Everyone at LSE has an opinion. None more so than LSESU hacks. Steve Peake is the most opinionated person of them all. His article on page fourof this week's Beaver is an example of his work. Notice the lack of research, laugh at the way he's failed to include a few facts and marvel at the size of his ego. Steve Peake courts controversy wherever he goes, most of it of his own making. Those of you who are old enough to remember the last lot of SU sabbatical elections may recall his pamphlet which basically slagged off everyone he didn't like. What's more, he never even put his name to the article, preferring to let the "Guns keep blazing". For a man who has so much to say and criticize, its not surprising to learn that this self-publicist has failed to do anything note worthy for the Union except to bore them stupid at hall discos with his strange choice of music. Why then did I choose to print his article? He claims that he wanted to stimulate debate within the Union. A fair argument, even if his piece is factually incorrect and over-the-top, because even Steve Peake has the right to free speech and you can't edit someone's work simply because you don't agree with them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If you don't agree with him then you can use your right to reply by writing a letter to me, the editor, in room El97, oudining your grievances with the article. After all, someone has to keep the gun's blazing. Executive Editor Managing Editor News Editors Campus Editor Features Editor Arts Editors Music Editor Sports Editors Photographic Editor Financial Director Neil Andrews Nigel Boyce Emma Bearcoft Hans Gutbrod Jerome Harris Paul Bou Habib Navin Reddy Goeff Robertson Neil Andrews Andrew Graveson Ian Staples Steve East T. James Brown StaffiSelman Ahmad, Tom Aubury, George Binette, Johnny Bradburn, Sarah Ebner, Sian Evans, Jon Fenton- Fischer, Tesher Fitzpatrick, Nick Fletcher, Gavin Gilham, Madeline Gwyon, Justin Harper, PeterHarrad, Becky Hartnup, Uncle R Db Hick, Eduardo Jauregui, Toby Johnson, Martin Lewis, Chris Lx)ngridge, Stavros Makris, Pemilla Malmfalt, Adrian May, Thorsten Moos, Sarah Owen, David Price, Zaf Rashid, Steve Thomas, Ron Voce, Stuart Wilkes, Faz Zahir. Printed by Eastway Offset, 3-13 Hepscott Road, Lx>ndon E9 The Beaver, 12th October, 1992 Harris Goes On The Warpath Dear Beaver, The "Quick Guide to the UGM" contained a one-sided relentless diatribe, whereas SU publications (e.g. The Handbook, The Alternative Circular) traditionally contain a short piece, mocking every political society. Consequently, I am left questioning the motivation behind last weeks editorial which failed' to acknowledge this distinction. More recently, I have been disturbed by the f(X)lish tactics of the hard left who succeeded only in turning this weeks general meeting into something of a farce. Rather than add to a constructive debate on the School's proposals to charge future masters' students £6770 in fees, they embarked on a blatant filibuster which leaves the students' union without policy on this damaging proposal. I hope that by next week they will have grown up and realised that the government is not going to fall because of their ranting, that the revolution is not imminent, and that their toytown radicalism will achieve nothing in our negotiations with the LSE. I urge all students to attend next weeks UGM in the Old Theatre on Thursday at 1 p.m. Otherwise a perverse coalition of bad government policy and Socialist Worker incompetence could see them having to find an extra £5000 to buy their LSE masters. Peter Harris, D S G The Alternative Circular and the Handbook may both traditionally contain an article mocking every political society but who says its jusdfied. They both have the same desired effect and could discourage first years from potendally joining such organisations. The "Quick Guide To The UGM", on the other hand, was designed to highlight LSESU's colourful history and contained information relevant to the article. I consider my opinion on the matter fully justified. Being one of the four authors who contributed to the piece, I stand by my words as a fair view of the events that occurred last year and I believe that any criticism of the DSG concerning their term in office to be fully justified. As for your appeal to students to attend the forthcoming UGM, I agree with you entirely, which is probably the first time that's happened. Executive Disclaimer "The Quick Guide to the UGM" issued by the Students' Union was commissioned and edited by the General Secretary. The views expressed are those of the individual authors, and are not based on union policy. The Executive of the Students' Union disclaims any responsibility for the contents of the Guide which was produced in its absence. Post Haste Letters due to E197, by hand or internal mail, by 4pm Wednesday Beaver Collective Meeting Monday 12th October 6pm Top floor of the Cafe Please attend if you are interested in writing for the newspaper this term 7 Opinions The Beaver, 12th October 1992 Death Of The NUS Jamsheda Ahmad comments upon the recent proposals announced by the government The Secretary of State John Patten announced last week at the Conservatives' annual Brighton conference that he would end public funding of the National Union of Students. To a standing ovation, he said that "the NUS closed shop must go soon, and go it will" putting paid to weeks of speculation on whether or not the government would finally go through with the policy of enforcing voluntary mem bership of the NUS or not. In actual fact the structure of the NUS is not one in which all students are compelled to join on an individual basis. When a student registers at a university or institute of further education he or she automatically becomes a mem ber of the local student union. This student union then makes the decision to affiliate to the NUS on the basis of a vote taken among its members. At present student unions which have voted to disaffiliate from the NUS arerlmperial College in London, Edinburgh University and St Andrews University. The structure of the NUS is therefore based on collective membership as a federation as opposed to compulsory individual membership. However for a long time now the NUS which has purported to be the voice of students nationally has shown itself to be not democratic enough , unworkable and quite simply a waste of time. The main decisionmaking forum of NUS, its winter (now abolished) and spring conferences have been hijacked by various factions with the result that any decisions which are m ade are on the whole irrelevant to the majority of students NUS is meant to represent and only serve the political purposes of small but vocal factions. As with any organisation that has been allowed to stagnate without any honest attempts to reform the NUS now finds itself with the noose around its neck and with very litde time to come up with a convincing defence or alternative reformed structure. The welfare and services role of the NUS has been played down by the government and the campaigning side of the NUS which incidentally only takes up 0.5% of their funds has been served up as the main reason why NUS is a waste of public funds. NUS and its President now find themselves with very little time to make a serious overhaul of the current corrupt organisadon of the NUS and do not have an adequate defence to offer the government and the general public of the intrinsic value of a national student representative body riddled with corruption and time wasting bureaucracy. NUS has basically allowed the government to launch a pre-emptive strike. The welfare and cheap services that the NUS provides are consequently in danger. Are the NUS going to stubbornly delude themselves that they will be able to convince a tory government of the desirability of a national publicly-funded body that opposes its policies at every turn? Proposals for reform are nothing new: last year's General-Secretary of the LSE Michiel Van Hulten, drew up a package of proposals that would divorce the services role from the political campaigning role. The latter would be replaced by student associate societies eg. a nadonal Labour student society, a national Liberal Democrat student society etc and membership of these would be voluntary and could campaign on political issues as much as they liked. NUS provides cheap welfare and services. It is a powerful trading consortium devoted to the needs of students of whatever political affiliation. The imminent death of the NUS as we know it could result in the privatisation of these services with the consequent risk of higher un-subsidised prices in student union faciHties: more costs for already hard-up students to pay out of their own pockets. Student unions up and down the country must surely realise that swift reform of the NUS is imperative. But we do not have much time and perhaps the only strategy we do have is to pre-empt the government by disbanding NUS altogether and presenting a truly democratic structure which retains only the buying power of a federation of student unions for cheap and efficient services while shedding any factionalisation and corruption now inextricably associated with the NUS. Desperate times warrant desperate measures. The government has announced the death of the NUS, it is now too late for student unions to realise that NUS was terminally ill anyway. An NUS "Phoenix" is perhaps out of the question. Reform has been on the cards for so many years and nothing was done about it. Unless by taking a radical look at what we want from a national student union can we hope to stop the government from crushing the voice of students in this country once and for all. ft students HAVEi A WHOIE lot more H QBE S IN THE WALL % \ -x ^ V ¦WO' Not onK' do NaiW'est have more branches on or \'ery near campus than any other bank, but your NatWest Sen icecarcl will allow you to draw money from Midland and TSB cash dispensers too. And with Student vSei"vice Officers at even' campus branch who really understand what . ^ ' student life is about, its not hard to understand wliy more students bank with us than with anybody else. just you make sure you choose the course and college that's right for you. Because you can be pretty certain NatWest will be around. Student ,\'l;tnag<.T: 'IVcn'oi' liillicr, 6S Akl\\\c h liniiuh. I'd: 0^1 2 i2 (ii9 i. National Westminster Bank We're here to make life easier \.itn in.il \\ i'sltnin>U'i I'.mk I'K IU*uisu-u>! ( >llu r i! 1 < >i hi nn \. l.i »iu l» m: I-( JP J UT 8 Campus The Heart of the Matter ... in the company of Bu Bu Cigar and The Fourth Man People need a hug once in a while. Sometimes, when you' ve left your bag in the library, put your banana in your tea or dropped a dunked, dark chocolate digestive off Canary Wharf; you glimpse the future as grated cheese trodden into the coconut-mat flooring of a Hampstead intellectual's kitchen. It's visible! You can fee! it slithering between your toes as a banana feels its picker's fingers. But. After the banana picker's fingers have loosened their grip on your heart, and you can m ug again, turn around. Children! The Heart of the Matter is not to put your banana in other peoples' tea, because it leads to spilled cheese. I Future guest writers required for The Heart of the Matter, surrealism not a prerequisite, come to the collective meeting -Mondays 6pm, top floor of the Cafe. Fame And how to get it at LSE quick! Are you a fresher who wants to be known around LSE? (but not to be hated for precocious-ness like Martin Lewis) Or are you a second or third year who feels that they've been left out of the action? YOU can gain instant notoriety by getting your photo on the Campus page, the home of the Whopper, Busy Beaver, and the most read page in the newspaper. To achieve this, just send a passport-sized photograph of yourself and your bid for fame (cheques only, to be made payable to J. Harris) in a sealed envelope along with your name and a short description of your most frightening moment (less than 50 words please) to: The Campus Editor, The Beaver, El97. The Beaver, 12th October 1992 Busy Beaver's Back Frisky Financier Frolics in Bearall's Boudoir (and more gossip) Well, welcome back to LSE and more im-ponantly to the Busy Beaver, the most sordid dirt-digging and most truthful part of The Beaver. Launching swiftly into the juiciest parts of the pre-term antics. Busy Beaver wishes to point out a number of ludicrous happenings amongst the sabbaticals. The first of these individuals (who as always will remain nameless), is the one of the three men who hasn't got red hair, he has a finger on the financial pulse and his name sounds a bit like Job Spurting; now Spurting was allegedly rumoured to have maybe had an intimate liason with a certain news-editor of The Beaver. Apparently Spurting and Bearall had a few too many iced-teas one evening and ended up in Bearall's Boudoir near Baker Street, details of what happened are still somewhat sketchy but sources suggest that they were doing a little more than discussing her Beaver spot. Moving swiftly along, the next sab to be mercilessly exposed is Ex-President Brownie of former AU fame who is now masquerading as a sabbatical, and this entenaining chap is rumoured to have played away from home himself on a couple of occasions over the summer. His first yellow card was in the interests (he claims) of inter-collegiate relations whenhe was spotted briefly in the process of disappearing from a' nightclub accompanied by a fellow sab from Strand Poly (Kings College - Ed.). Old Brownie seems to have taken this inter-collegiate business to heart, as he proved when he earned his red card and subsequent three-match ban when he was spotted communicating with another of the London college sabbaticals via the medium of tongues upon tonsils. Once he found out that Busy Beaver was on his trail. Brownie made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want the name of the sabbatical involved or her college, mentioned and only the threat of broken legs and an allusion to electrotherapy without a voltage regulator could persuade Busy Beaver to agree to this. However, watch this space for details of further developments, especially if he disappears over to the UCL bar for any reason - OOPS! Now onto our erstwhile leader, she that must be obeyed, with a nice line in lipstick; we'll referto her as 'Fat Zero'. Rumours about her having a number of flings over the vacation period began after she was seen disappearing with various men for 'evening meals', what these actually amount to only she knows, but Busy Beaver wonders what was on the menu for afters. Following in a similar vein, it looks like S.U./A.U. relations may improve this year, not only due to Brownie's calculated infiltration of the SU but also because of a budding romantic interest which Fat Zero has in a certain prominent hockey-playing member of the AU. 'President Laidher' is remaining tight-lipped upon the subject of whether he has scored, or hopes to score this season, but B.B. is continuing to dig up the dirt on this one. The final paid waster (sorry, sabbatical) to fall under my intense scrutiny is the 'Luton Jumper', whose achievements over the summer have come to our attention and we feel it necessary to conduct a quick straw poll. If you were to see an unattended bag on the train, would you: a) Ignore it and hope someone else does something b) Pull the communication cord, stop the train, and order everyone off it. Well, young Jumper saw it as his civic duty to protect the public and heroically save the lives of oh, forty or so passengers by doing the latter. 'And what was in this bag?' we hear you cry, 'Wasitapoundof sem tex attatched to a cheap Japa-nese wristwatch and surrounded by nails and broken glass? Was it a small thermonuclear device? Or was it a shipment of cocaine just arrived from Colombia?' -No, it was a football kit left by a passenger while they went to another part of the train to chat with a friend. Oh well, better luck next time! Pressing swiftly on, as Clare Raynor would say. Rumours bound around the palatial Beaver offices like Skippy on drugs that 'the Karate Kid' is no longer speaking to Job Spurting as a result of the aforementioned Bearall-gate affair, Busy Beaver suggests that Mr Spurting watches out or there could be tears before bedtime. More late news just come in about Brownie's pre-season capers, allegedly he was detained at Her Majesty's pleasure on two seperate occasions, both for being a little too tipsy. He claims it was nothing to do with him, 'it was somebody else officer, honest' -yes, well we believe you Brownie, honestly we do. Busy Beaver will be back next week with more gossip that you should know about, and until then watch out, my spies are everywhere! Gossip writers required for new column starting next week General Course and all the halls especially welcome, has anyone you know done something that people ought to know about? Competition Time Win a Magnum of Champagne The Beaver is looking for someone to design a Beaver/S.U. Christmas card, please send your illustrations and photos (with captions) to: Campus Editor, Beaver Office, E197 by the 26th October. The design which the judges decide is the best wins the champagne and cards will be on sale in time for 'Christmas, watch this space for details of the winning card design and where to get yours. 9 Food & Drink Jumping On A Meal ticket Some Beaver Staff dine out at the 'Sliaraz Hotel', Brick Lane For the first article on the new Food page of the Beaver, a few of us here at your friendly Union newspaper have chosen to review a restaurant that is well known East of the Aldwych as a purveyor of quality South-East Asian cuisine, by whom I have no idea because quality isn't exactly the word that my fellow or I tasters would use to describe what they were serving that night. To many, Indian restaurants are inhabited by drunken Rugby players, in our case it was drunken Beaver hacks. Havingdecidedthatwe would in fact go for something to eat after working on the Beaver late one Thursday, an Indian was suggested, but the Editor of this paper was not sure. But it was on the way home, so he relented. Brick Lane is a lovely place stretching from Aldgate to Shoreditch and it contains a variety of culinary delights.The Sharazitselfisawellkept place with friendly serv- ice, but it does not come cheap. Poppadoms and the twirly thing are a great invention, but give the starters a miss, unless you want to leave most of the main meal or you are really hungry.The choice of main meals is immense and if variety is the spice of life then this place is really hot. The food is fine if not a little spicy, but then I have a sensitive stomach, but not as sensitive as the Editors. The twirly things are a great invention, but give the starters a miss, unless you want to leave most of the main meal or you are really hungary. Having a certain Arts Editor with us meant that the evening was full of banter like "there's no such thing as a vindaloo" but the real success of the evening was talking to two surveyors about the delights of living in London and having a decent education. If you're in the area, give it a try, if not, you're probably better off finding a local restaurant. Welcome to the Beaver Food Section A new innovation for the Beaver this year is the introduction of a Food & Drink section. At the moment we are still smoothing over the creases but we hope it'll be up and running before the end of the month. The section will comprise of a number of features that include reviewing restaurants (free of charge!), comparing supermarkets, providing recipes, Auntie Ro's Cookbook and a run down on the best wines and beers available on the market. But we need an editor. Someone who is willing to take on board this baby and cultivate it into a viable commodity. If you are interested in running for the position then come along to Room El97. there is a catch, however. You must be a member of the Beaver collective. To become a member of the collective you'll need to have written three articles, taken three photgraphs or undertaken three production sessions. Easy, eh? rpi 4_ f-| Ihe Beaver Food Guide ><•/ This Week's Recommended Restaurants: Bethnals, Bethnal Green Road E2 The pizzas are recommended as are all the pasta dishes. Quite cheap: The largest pizza costs around £5 and there's a 20% discount for all NUS students Polios, Nea! Street W1 Popular with a number of LSE students, this Italian restaurant is renowned for being a fire-trap but don't let that put you off. The meals are nice and relatively cheap The Beaver, 12th October 1992 Auntie Flo's Cookbook She cooks you food just like your mother used i to make I Beans on toast To make beans on toast, just follow Auntie ! Flo's simple recipe. 1) Take one medium sized tin of beans and pour into a saucepan. 2) Place saucepan on cooker and heat gently. 3) While the beans are cooking, lake two slices of bread. The slices can be either white or brown, but 1 prefer white. 4) Place the slices in either a toaster or on a grill a brown to desired level. 5) Once the toast is sufficiently brown, remove from the toaster and spread with either butter or margarine. Do not use jam. 6) Place toast on plate. 7) By now the beans will have begun to boil. Stir the beans gently to ensure that none get stuck onto the sides of the pan. 8) Remove the pan from the cooker. 9) Slowly pour the beans over the toast in a desired manner. 10) Pick up your plate and return to your room. 11) Once you have turned on the television you may begin to eat. 12) Make sure you are using a knife and fork. Dippy-in-Egg Dippy-in-Egg is basically egg and soldiers but that name is not politically sound. Never mind, my dearies. Dippy-in-egg is my favourite meal to cook and is quite simple to learn. 1) Take an average saucepan and fill it up with a sufficient amount of water. Remember that the water must cover the eggs. 2) Slowly boil the water on your cooker. 3) While this happens, take two slices of bread and toast to a desired level. 4) The water should begin to boil now, so take two eggs and gently place them into the pan. For runny eggs, make sure you boil them for no longer than three-and-a-half minutes. 5) Remove the toast from the toaster and butter them with a spread of your choice. 6) Take a sharp knife and carefully cut the toast into thin spreads with a width of no more than three centimetres. 7) Once three minutes has elapsed, remove the eggs carefully from the saucepan. 8) Place the eggs in an egg cup and serve with the soldiers. These recipes involve boiling water and sharp knives so always be careful. If at all possible, make sure an adult is in the kitchen to supervise you because we don't want you cutting your 10 Feature The Beaver, 12 th October 1992 BOSNIA: The Invention of a Holocaust? Suke Wolton accuses western society of relativising the greatest crime against humanity. Ethnic cleansing, cattle trains, concentration camps, shaved heads, rib-cages, torture, atrocities, genocide.... There hasn't been anything like it since...well, since the Gulf War in fact. That was the last time Western journalists and politicians discovered a new Hitler - Saddam Hussein - and evils the like of which the world had not seen for half a century - such as the Kuwaiti babies snatched from incubators by Iraqi soldiers and left to die on a hospital floor. Cynical? The Kuwaiti babies story turned out to be an invention by the Washington PR firm. Hill & Knowlton employed by the Kuwaiti government, and fed its' facts by the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador in America who also happened to be a member of the ruling al-Sa-bah family. Today the suffering of ordinary Serbs, Croats and Muslims caught up in the war in Yugoslavia is being cynically manipulated by Western journalists and politicians waging a propaganda war. Since the end of July all reporting on the Yugoslav war has been suffused with images of the Holocaust. You could not turn on your television set in August without being assailed by pictures of barbed wire compounds. The entire vo- cabulary in which the conflict is now discussed evokes parallels with the wartime treatment of the Jews by the Nazis. Both right and left have joined the the Serb-bashing. It has been impossible to distinguish between Sun double act Ken Livingstone and Richard Littlejohn, despite the fact that they are supposed to represent opposite ends of the political spectrum. inventing a holocaust in Bosnia, they are calling into question the whole meaning of the original Holocaust" This demonisation of the Serbs has told the world that the Serbs are even more savage than everybody had thought they were. They now stand accused of carrying out the biggest crime against humanity since the Second World war. They have been depicted as even more bestial than Hitler's SS death squads. The consensus that they are trying to achieve is that the Western powers have the right to determine the future of the Balkans. If there really were terrible atrocities taking place in Bosnia, I doubt that we would be reading about them everyday in the newspapers. When there really was a Holocaust taking place in Europe, we heard nothing about it. When the Nazis started exterminating the Jews, the Allies knew what was happening but they chose to keep quiet. They didn_t say a word. They covered it up. Despite repeated requests from 1941 onwards, the British government refused to order the bombing of the railway lines leading to Auschwitz. In fact, the only thing they did do was turn away Jewish refugees fleeing from pogroms. Why should we believe a word of what is being said by press and politicians about what is happening in Bosnia? They are not usually in the habit of telling the truth about what happens at home, never mind in foreign lands. Take the phrase on everybody's lips: ethnic cleansing. Where did it come from? Who started using this expression first? I doubt it was the Serbian forces who are fighting in Bosnia. It is more likely to have originated in the Croatian ministry of information in Zagreb or even in the offices of a W estem com -munications firm. The term ethnic cleansing turns the exodus of people from Bosnia into a policy objective rather than a consequence of war. There can be no doubt that Muslims and Croats are being persecuted and forced to leave their homes by Serbian forces, just as Serbs are being persecuted and forced to leave their homes by Croatian and Muslim forces. There is much hypocrisy involved in the Western condemnations of ethnic cleansing in Bosnia. If the Western powers dislike ethnic conflict so much, they should not have sponsored the disintegration of Yugoslavia along ethnic lines. It was their backing for Croatia which legitimised nationalism in that republic and ignited ethnic conflict throughout Yugoslavia. People are killing and being killed on all sides in this war, as in all war. If atrocities are being committed, they are being committed by Serbs, Croats and Muslims. So why is it that Western propaganda has focused on the crimes of the Serbs? Those who have invented a Holocaust in Bosnia have done so because it suits their purposes to depict the Serbs as genocidal maniacs. But from the point of view of the European powers, there is another advantage to be gained from accusing the Serbs of genocide. By inventing a Holocaust in Bosnia, they are calling into question the whole meaning of the original Holocaust. If a Holocaust can happen in Bosnia just like that, then it follows that the original Holocaust was nothing special. If the suffering of the Muslims in the Yugoslav civil war today amounts to a Holocaust, then it follows that the liquidation of European Jewry in the Second World War was not unique. In other words, the invention of a Holocaust in the present is a way of relativising the war crimes of the past. "By inventing a Holocaust in Bosnia, the right can begin to put the past behind it." It is not difficult to understand why European powers are so keen to relativise the Holocaust. After all, the death camps caust. of the past helped to discredit right-wing ideas for the best part of half a century. The association of the Holocaust with the politics of the right has been a major embarrassment. By inventing a Holocaust in Bosnia, the right can begin to put the past behind it. This is grotesque in the case of the B alkans. The last time Western powers intervened, in the Second World War, it was to oversee a policy of genocide against the Serbs. Then Germany recruited the Croatian Ustashe as the surrogates of their policy of eastern expansion. Today the West presents itself as the only defense against a holocaust in the Balkans, when its record is of having imposed one there. But why should liberal opinion go along with all this? The same people who have taken the revisionist historian David Irving to task for saying the Holocaust never happened are now caught up in the rewriting of history. By shouting genocide about what is happeningin Bosnia, liberal opinion is not only complicit in set-Ung up the Serbs for a military strike, it is also an unwitting accomplice in the campaign to relativise the Holo- BOSNIIA: The Invention of a Holocaust? Wednesday 14 October at the L.S.E, A round table discussion 2-4pm A42 c n r\in c Holocaust in Bosnia: war crime or media invention ? VVUlJvollUpo 4.30-6pm A42 Ethnic time bomb? The origins of war in Yugoslavia. 4.30-6pm A85 The Holocaust Revisited: revisionism and the Yugoslav war. jueDaLe 7-9pm Old Theatre Bosnia: can the West keep the peace? ACCOMODATION AVAILABLE IN LSE HOUSING AT SILVER WALK Double and single rooms available contact Central Accomodation Office. Room E296 Tel: 071-995 -7531 You can vote for the president of the United States of America in the LSE AMERICAN ELECTION 29th October 1992 "Republicans and Democrats Confront...." 12th October 1992 Room A698 6-8 pm To be eligible to vote, fill out the voter registration form to arrive no later than by 27th October 1992 Send to: Dr. Cheryl Schonhardt-Bailcy, US Election, Government Department, LSE L.S.E SOCIALIST WORKER STUDENT SOCIETY Open Meeting HAS MARXISM PAST ITS SELL BY DATE? Speaker - tony cliff TUESDAY l-2pm 13th October Room S075 Economics Society AGM and Cheese and Wine Party Thursday, 15th October 1992 AGM - 5.30pm Party - 6.00pm Room to be Announced The London School Of Economics Debating Society MICHAELMAS TERM DEBATE Freshers Debating Competition Wednesday, 14 th October 1992 Wednesday, 21st October 1992 Wednesday, 28th October 1992 Vera Anstey Room 1 -2 pm LSE. IMPERIAL COLLEGE & CITY UNIVERSHT ITALIAN SOC. PRESENT 92 INTRO MEETING 20th OCTOBER ITALIAN FOOD & ITALIAN WINE FREE HALF-TERM PLAYGROUP The half term playgroup will run this half term between Monday, 26th October 1992 and Friday, 30th October 1992, the seeions are 10am - 1pm and 2 - 5pm. Parents are expected to look after their children durung the lunch hour. The group is available to children of LSE students and staff and is free. It is held in the Women's room on the top floor of the cafe in the East Building. If you would like to register your child/children, please sign your name on the list outside of room E299 VOLUNTEER HELPERS ARE ALSO NEEDED -SIGN YOUR NAME AT THE WELFARE OFFICE E297 OR ON THE LIST OUTSIDE OF E299 'Beaver CCassifieds To advertise in the classifieds section, please contact James in the Beaver Office (ext. 2870). Alternatively, write down the information, and drop it in the Beaver Office (E197] This service is free to all LSE students and Societies Please note that copy deadline is Wednesday noon for the following Monday's issue 12 Arts Feature The Beaver, 12th October 1992 Boldly Going Where No Man's Been Before Neil Andrews explores the history of Science Fiction films Science Fiction is a strange film genre. It can encompass everything from comedy (Dark Star) to horror (Alien) but still remain within the boundary of sci-fi. Despite opinions to the contrary, the Science Fiction genre is one of the oldest film genres around and in the early days of motion pictures space, and in particular the moon, were viable film subjects. Sci-fi is genuine e.scapism. From the late Twenties and early Thirties, with films like 'Things To Come' and 'Metropolis', cinema audiences have flocked to see Science Fiction films purely because of the escapist element contained within them but most Science Fiction films are merely remakes of old classics with a different setting. 'Outland' starring Sean Connery, for example, was a remake of 'High Noon" starring Gary Cooper while 'Alien' borrowed the story line of 'It - The Terror From Out Of Space", a 1950s black and white feature about a crew from earth being terrorized by a Martian while on the way back to earth. Despite this, audiences are still willing to watch a movie about outer space, even if they have seen it all before. 'Star Wars' is the proverbial albatross of Science Fiction films and comparisons are still made. True, 'Star Wars' was an influential film, but it was no classic and the storylines fail to stand up to scrutiny. A western in space, it merely took all the elements of the best pantomimes and fairy stories and blended them into a blockbuster movie, similar to the Jaws episode. What 'St;ir Wars' possessed at the time was originality. There hadn't been a film quite like it before and was therefore an instant success. 'ET', on the otherhand, relied heavily on the mystique of previous Sci-Fi films and captured an audience sick of violence and sex on its screens. Until then. Science Fiction had gone through a rough time during the Sevendes with very few of any note being made, 'Logan's 1 Hardware: Shite Run', 'Alien' and 'Dark Star' being the major exceptions. The Sixties produced a number of camp episodes similar to the age. 'Barbarella', starring Jane Fonda, was probably the most significant film of the era and remains as colourful today as it did then. Hammer Films jumped onto the bandwagon and released 'Quatermass And The Pit', a classic British filmed based on the BBC TV series, as well as all its vampire flicks, while the Americans began releasing a number of decent Sci-Fi pictures including the original 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' starring Kevin McCarthy. The decade also prcxiuced the meaningful space drama as well as the oddcomedy. Ex-LSE alumni Ron Moody starred in 'Mouse On The Moon' while 'Planet Of The Apes' and it's sequels concentrated on the aspect of racism. While others, 'Fahrenheit 451' and 'A Clockwork Orange' for example, had futurisdc violence as their central theme.'2001 - A Space Odyssey', released in 1969, re-vamped the Science Fiction film from the terrors of outer space, seen so frequenUy during the 1950s, to the new technological era, influencing a number of future films. The 50s was the age of the classic Sci-Fi B-movies such as 'The Creature From The Black Lagoon', 'The Blob' starring a fresh faced Steve McQueen, and 'War Of The Worlds'. Most of the these features had a low.budget and an even lower I.Q. level as drive-in cinema audiences vegetated in front of the big screen. Meaningful drama was out, horrible monsters who zapped their victims was the norm. Usually in 3-D. Occasionally they threw up the odd decent film, like 'This Island Earth' and 'Forbidden Planet' but in general much of what was released was worthless pulp including Edwju-d D. Wood's classic 'Plan 9 From Outer Space'. The Eighdes brought technology to the fore with special effects outweighing anything special. Schwarzenegger emerged as the number One box office star with films like 'Terminator', 'Predator' and 'Total Recall' while the comic strip returned with the likes of 'Swamp Thing' and 'Batman'. 'Robocop' became a comic strip and 'Alien' spawned two sequels to become one of the biggest icons of the genre and one of the most dissected films of all time. But with the good came the crap. 'Dune' crashed and burned, despite having some merit, 'Critters' was simply dire, 'Space Balls' was shite and 'Star Trek 5' was William Shatner's worst nightmare. The Star trek series did manage to produce two notable exceptions to the long, crap line of releases in the form of'Star Trek 4-The Voyage Home' and 'Star Trek 6 - The Undiscovered Country' but even they would be hard pressed to be endded 'classics'. Cult status was achieved by quite a few Sci-Fi films thanks to Alex Cox's Moviedrome series on BBC2, which featured the TV premieres of 'Terminator', 'Trancers', 'MadMax',' Mad Max 2' and Cox's own masterpiece 'Repo Man'. 'The Thing' also fe-emerged, with gory effects added, and Sci-fi horror became fashionable once rriore. The age of the Sci-Fi horror had been born. Television has thrown Allen 3: "Oh fuck, it's up its far share of programmes which have been turned into major feature films. Along with the obvious Star Trek pictures, there have been two Dr. Who films, both starring Peter Cushin and a number of Daleks, two 'Battlestar Galactica' pictures and a feature starring Gerry Anderson's Thunderbirds puppets. The 'Twilight Zone' has also been turned into a film while the original Batman series made it onto celluloid way back in 1966. In the 90s, the genre of Science Fiction has been hit by the recession, with fewer releases than before. 'Terminator 2' and 'Alien 3' both captured a sizable crowd but other releases such as 'Hardware' and 'Split Second' failed to attract even the most die-hard sci-fi fan. But the future looks promising. 'Dr. Who' looks like finally going into production, 'Alien 4' has been promised and 'Judge Dredd' may hit the screen soon. Whether they'll ever reach the screen is Steve Thomas" another question. Companies are unwilling to invest in big-budget Sci-fi features because they're uncertain about the return they'll receive on their investment. Directors are also unwilling to enter the fray when it comes to Sci-Fi films because of the way their films are cut. James Cameroon, Ridley Scott and Vincent Ward all experienced trouble during the making of 'Aliens', 'Blade Runner' and 'Alien 3' respectively. Film companies appear to prefer the producer's cut rather than the director's cut when it comes to releasing films in recent dmes, usually because the producer's cut is shorter and less philosophical. Whatever happens in the future, the genre will always have it's classics to fall back on. If its still short of films then I'm sure there's a few John Wayne Westerns knocking about that can be turned into a Sci-fi classic. Carry On Terminator, anyone? The Arts Pages offer you the chance to review a film, play, art exhibitioner video completely free! AH you have to do is come along to the Beaver Collective Meeting at Six O'Clock on Monday in the Hacker's Bar (Top floor of the Cafe) and hassle either Navin Reddy or Geoff Robertson. Failing that, why not pop into the Beaver Office in room E197and leave something in their pigeon hole. They'd love to hear from you. Besides, its cheaper than Dateline and a lot more fun. - 4 - 13 Arts The Beaver, 12th October 1992 Carry On With The Day Job The eagerly awaited 'Carry On Columbus' gets slated by a hack who should know better The last time a Carry On film was on general release, it was 1975.'Carry On Emmanuelle' was dire, smut and sex had replaced comedy and innuendo. Carry On Columbus is hoping to try and resurrect the genre, but will it succeed? After all there are three films are Columbus this year. The first one was crap, Ridley Scotts' is coming soon but what of this one? Well in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, but in the late 50's Ciirry on Sergeant was released and started this whole genre. This series of films have become a British institution based on the vast array of comic actors this country has produced. However its best period was, in no doubt, around the late sixties with such classics as Carry On Screaming, Carry On Don't Lose Your Head, Carry On Harry and Carry On up the Khyber. However like all institutions they grow old and many of the stars of the early films have gone to the great film lot in the sky. Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Hattie Jaques and Charles Hawltry. Of the remainder, we were left with Jim Dale who after his last Carry On... left for Broadway and after this return I bet he wishes he stayed there. It is surely a bad sign when you are going to see a film on the night of its release, and you can walk right in. But undaunted we entered expecting mirth and merriment as this was supposedly the finest collection of British Comedy actors on screen for years They were all there, Rik Mayall,.being his usual gauche self Alexei Sayle being Alexei Sayle, Julian Cleary camping it up, Bernard Cribbens making a come-back Keith Allen proving his abilities as a comic actor and.............. No that's it, stop right now. I can't do it. They wan t me to write a review 'Ooh, I say.. of around 300 words and Unfortunately we did. say its OK, if not great The soundtrack is crap Dale & Clarey try to bury a few j^host.s deserve to lose money! but I can't. Its crap, the long and short of it is its crap. Get the picture? as well, the script, the opening titles, its all crap. I don't even think Sky Movies will show it. Laugh 1 did not. Do not waste your time or your money and do not even get it on video. They Ron \ oce Playing Up On Stage Sarah Ebner returns with a vengence to give the low down on theatre productions in London Welcome to LSE! establishments give LSE) and you should couldn't do better than the Comedy Theatre, (and haven't even Now you've arrived and students the best really try to see it. Les Miserables or Miss Dancing at Lughnasa mentioned the had at least a week to available seats for £5. Similarly Robert but be warned, Philadelphia Here I Chippendales or Don't settle in, it's about time Talking of subsidised LePagt's A Midsummer the prices are steep and should also be on Dress For Dinner-lucky you tum^ to more useful theatre, the National Night's Dream, set in a thequeues long. The best your list. Brian Friel you). You'll just have to things than how much a Theatre is a great place dark swamp, is an thing to do would be to perfectly catches the be satisfied with the plays pint in The Tuns costs to start for anyone who original and absorbing catch a weekday spirit of rural Ireland in recommended here, and compared to all those cares about good theatre, production. I must warn matinee. The same goes these two plays, see them all before 1 pubs around the In fact, more often than you, however, that the for any other musical, demonstrating just why return. In the meantime. Government not, it's a good place to National is not my own including Joseph which he is such a valuable I'll leave you with one department. No, of finish too. The National, secret. It is famed for is worth seeing if only to contemporary talent, thought; If you come tcv course I don't mean Stan with its three theatres, excellent theatre, and laugh at Philip Schofield You should be able to London to university, working. As if. There offers a wide variety of good plays book up in a loincloth. Seriously, get tickets for all these you really must go to the are far more vital things excellent theatre, and quickly. Get in early, though, Joseph is plays without much theatre! Trust me on that to get involved in. because it's subsidised. It's worth it! enormous fun, and a m)uble, but an extra tip one. London, and especially it's brave enough to show I can't rave as much damn sight better than is to go on a Monday- the arts' are ready for new plays rather than about the Barbican. Yes, almost any other Andrew generally the quietest you..............tired musical revues or there are some excellent Lloyd Webber musical, theatre night in the week. Here comes the run farces. It's wise to take a things to be seen Blood Brothers is If you're looking for down on what to see at chance on anything at the (particularly in the Pit, another good musical to a stronger and more the theatre at present. National, although, the smallest theatre see. serious play, please see Check which theatres do admittedly the Cottesloe there), but generally, the If you want good Deathandthe Maiden For free theatre student standbys, but be especially, likes Shakespeare could be light entertainment, go the Duke of York's, or tickets for future warned that many of 'different'plays. Tony better, with the exception to the Arts Theatre and Someone Who'II Watch performances pop these work out as more Harrison's Square of the comic productions, catch The Complete Over Me at the a^Iong and see either expensive than the cheap is more "fringe" especially the excellent Works of William Vaudeville. Both these Geoff Robertson or seats right at the top and than West End (me, a Comedy of Errors. Mind Shakespeare (abridged), are plays are not only Navin Reddy in the' yes, right at the back, snob?), as was the recent you, Antony Sher is It's not only for powerful but contain Beaver Office, Room This is because most Street of Crocodiles . performing in Titus Shakespeare buffs. Six excellent ^ acting. E197. Its a damn sight theatres offer student Generally speaking Andronicus at present. Degrees of Separation , Someone Who'II Wawh cheaper than student standbys at half their top however, the National is Unfortunately it's in winner of a number of over Me is transferring stand-bys andyour price (usually around wonderful, and I can't be Stratford. American awards, and to Broadway, so go soon, view of the play is a lot £20). Cheap seats are more fulsome in my What else should you likely to have that You won't be sorry (even better too! more likely to be £6 or praise than that. The see at the moment. Well, success repeated here, is though the sole £7. Three cheers then excellent Rise and Fall for an evening of another very clever American in the play is for the National Theatre of Little Voice is excellent music and a comedy, but you'll have somewhat underwritten). and the Barbican. Both transferring to the little tugging of the togosoon,asit'sonlyon I've gone on for these worthy Aldwych (right next to heartstrings, you for a limited season at longer than I meant to 14 Music Get £1 Off A Cut Out And NME's 'Ruby Trax' Well, its almost Christinas and down here in the Beaver dungeons we're already entering the spirit of goodwill. Those kind people from Beatwax College Promotions have teamed up with the N ME and ourselves to offer you a discount on their 'Ruby Trax' 40th anniversary album. 'Ruby Trax was put together by the NME in conjunction with Radio One, to raise money for The Spastics S(x:iety. The album brings together forty of today's top artists, including The Wonder Stuff, Dannii Minogue, Blur, EMF and Carter USM, who, with the exception of Vic Reeves, have exclusively donated covers of their favourtie Number One singles. The album is not available in the shops but via any one of 8 tokens printed in the NME (from the issue dated October 3rd) for £19.99 for the triple CD or £ 14.99 for the double cassette. At this stage there will be no vinyl release. BUT we can offer you, our readers, £1 off the price of either format. To put this generous offer into operation all you have to do is send off for the album using a token from the NME together with this article and Bob's your Aunty's live-in-lover. However, if you'd like to win an extremely rare triple white-label of 'Ruby Trax' then just answer the following question and send your answers to: Ruby Trax Competition, Beatwax, Unit 8a, Southam Street, Ladbroke Grove, London, WIO 5PH. The closing date is the 31st October. That competition question in full: Who originally performed 'Brass In Pocket'? (Covered by Suede on this album) Simple, eh? The track listing includes some great covers. Billy Bragg sings 'When Will I See you Again?', Blur hammer away at 'Maggie May', The House Of Lx)ve attempt 'Rock Your Baby' while EMF have a go at transforming Joe Dolce's 'Shaddap You Face'. No matter what format you buy, £5 will go directly to The Spastics Society who are also celebrating their 40th birthday. Other highlights include Marc Almond singing 'Like A Prayer', Ride swapping their guitars for a bit of synth on 'The Model', axe heroes Johnny Marr and Billy Duffy have a crack at 'The Good, The Bad And The Ugly' and Cud eat up Status Quo's 'Down, Down'. NME. They do an awful lot of good work for charidy. Not arf. The Stereo hits back. The official mascot of NME's 'Ruby Trax', mate. The Beaver, 12th October 1992 Keep Guide To.... Jazz on the funk side in a moody mode You hear the wordjazz-what do you automatically associate it with? a)dinosaurs b)kronenburg ads c)manic tuneless squeaks and blurts of the so called 'free jazz movement' d)Courtney Pine. If you have agreed with any of the definitions, please read on, you have scored., zero! Ok, Jazz does encompass the traditional artists (Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Theolonious Monk etc) but there is another world. The modern jazz world. Which doesn't necessarily mean that it's totally weird and lacking in any melody. Modern artists of the Jazz and Funk Brigades tend to intertwine or fuse the best of both styles, making it difficult to categorise them into either one or the other. Many artists do, however,try to cater for all tastes (or try to confuse you, depending on how you look at it) by featuring several styles on one album. For example, on one side they may have, perhaps, a revamped traditional standard, a mellow ballad and an up-tempo original, and then on the flip side hitt you with a finger poppin', foot stompin' boogy woogy hip shakin' mind blowin' non stoppin' funkin swingin' number. So just how does one go about obtaining this unique, though obscure, inspirational but composed style of music? The following (very) Rough Guide will give you a pointer in the right direction, but the main trick of the trade is .... find arecord store that will play the records for you before you buy them. My favorite (plug, plug) is Honest Jon's Record Shop, Portobello Road, Ladbroke Grove tube. I used to spend 5 hours at a time in there, listen to about 15 albums and by the 5 best. It's the only way! It doesn't matter how many pretentious reviews you read, the only way to find the kind of Jazz/Funk you want to hear to is to go out and find some to listen to. Other stores, like Reckless Records and Mole Jazz, only let you listen sometimes First, you've got to whittle down a few albums from the thousands. Here's where I can help. Study the list below, these guys were (and some still are) monster. First check out the names of the artists, is there,for example, a well known musician hiding among the instrumentalists, like a brilliant bass player (Marcus Miller, Ron Carter, Stanley Clarke, Farrell (various saxes, while the latter was also a mega flutist along with Dave Valentino), Marcio Montarroyos, Freddie Hubbard (various trumpets). Milt Jackson Roy Ayers (vibes). Undeniably masters of their instruments. Once you've heard just how special they are you'll be amazed at how many sessions they did with a wide variety of other musicians. Which means that now you know a few of the names to look out for, you'll start noticing them on all sorts of sophisticated with those old time, as in car-wash style Michael Jackson, vocals) 4. 'Just a Funky Feeling', Michael Urbaniak and Urszula Dudziak (from Ecstasy. Extremely moody funk with wild fiddle. Also has better version of 'Free' than the original). 5. 'Doin' it', Herbie Hancock (from Secrets, the whole album is killer) MORE BANDS/ NAMES TO BE(A)WARE OF: Brazilian; Airto Charlie Parker had his problems with drugs. For a start, he couldn't remember which instrument he played. Dave Freison, Jaco albums around that Pastorious) for example? Check out if there are any big groups of instruments on it, if you don't like a big string/ brass section then don't bother with a listening. What year was it recorded in? Many of the most stimulating recordings will be found in the years between 1970-80. Ifitalladdsup have a listen. During the seventies many of the following great names played together, so if you see their names displayed together or separately then it's (almost definately) worth a listen; Airto Moreira, Ralph Macdonald, Nana Vasconcelos (drums and percussion), Alphonse Mouzon, Lenny White, Elvin Jones, Jack Dejohnette (pure drummers) Chick Corea, Herbie Hancock, McCoy Tyner (keyboards) Eric Gale, George Benson, (guitars), Joe Henderson, Stanley Turrentine, Mike Brecker, Grover Washington Jnr., Joe period. Then you'll no doubt find a particular artist you're gonna go a bundle on and spend the next 5 years trying to get hold of all their albums. For more info. The LSEJazz Society at will help and advise on special fairs etc. so keep you eyes peeled for their posters or get in touch with them through their society pigeon hole. AIITimeTopSTunes (for this week) 1. 'Greensleeves', John Coltrane (from Africa Brass Sessions Vol II) A beautiful spiralling rendition of the classic folk tune. Pure bliss. 2. 'Taurus Woman', Carlos Garnet (from Black Love, 12 minutes of 'Shaft' like Jazz, also includes the best afro-caribbean-latin-american version I've ever heard of 'Mothers of the Future') 3. 'Showtime', The Undisputed Truth (from Showtime. Funky Funky, bass led, but Moreira and Flora Purim, Egberto Gismonti, Hermeto Pascaol, Jon Lucien, Tania Maria, Azymuth. Funketeers: SLAVE, Aurra, SHOCK, Pleasure, LA Boppers, Crown Heights Affair, Funkadelic, Kool & the Gang (aka the Kaygees), Chocolate Milk, Troublefunk, Starguard, Maze, Mandrill, Brainstorm, Kleer, Ohio Players, Brothers Johnson, KC and the Sunshine Band, Rose Royce (yes, they did some ace stuff esp. RR.Express album) Atherial: Practically all of PAT METHENY & LYLE MAYS stuff. Classic Modern Jaz/i Funkers: Quincey Jones, Dexter Wansel, Stanley Jorden,, George Duke, Ronnie Laws, Bobby McFerrin, Blackbyrds, Bob James, Maceo and the Macs. More traditional: Sonny Fortune, Miles Davis, Nat and Cannonball Adderly, That's all folks (phew!) Sian Eliz.Evans 15 Music It'll Be Alright On The Night The Bed Bugs bite, the Medics delight while Sarah Sarah go quiet The gremlins that disrupted last week's Huge Intro Party have already been well documented but gremlins apart last week's bash proved to be a resounding success on all fronts, in particular the performances by the three bands. Because of the lack of a PA, Sarah Sarah went on first a produced a set which pleased the unaware audience. Despite being interrupted mid-set by a fuse being blown off-stage, Sarah Sarah won quite a few fans admist the usually picky taste of the LSE audience and went down well. For a band with eight members they managed to cramp themselves onto the stage in a quite satisfactory manner, enabling Sarah to perform her usual stage act comfortably. Doctor & the Meics went down a treat. Those at the front eagerly encouraged the Doctor to 'get his kit off and, being a true showman. The Bed Bugs: Biting back ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha....ahein. he responded Bugs, who, thanks to the accordingly. 'Spirit In The Sky', their only number one, came last and was greeted with decorum. Or rather complete mayhem as the crowd recognised the openingchords. With the show over, the punters at the front, Martin Lewis in particular, demanded an encore and duly got one. With the Medics gone, it was time for The Bed late arrival of the PA, were now headlining the event. Being something of an indie-kid. The Bed Bugs were obviously going to go down well with myself and they didn't disappoint. Despite only being allowed to perform four songs. The Bed Bugs were easily the most impressive acton the bill, showing a raw talent that outshone both the Medics and Sarah Sarah. The highlight of their (short) set was probably 'Honeymoon Couple On Drugs', a indie classic in all manner of the word and the sort of song you thought indie bands didn't write anymore. They have a record out in the next few weeks so if you don't believe a word I say you can check them out yourselves. The Lion Ro ars Sugar & spice and All Things Nice Bedazzled prove that a 'Sugarfree' diet is not good for you 'Sugarfree' is a very strange album. Despite being recorded earlier this year, it already sounds out of date. Opening with a sample from a sketch by Peter Cook andDudley Moore, 'Stageshow Day' kick starts the album into a riff-laden rut from which itneverescapes. 'Dumb', the following track, has a great title but no tune while the single that flopped during August, 'Summer Song', is too jolly and sugary. Only 'Shut My Mouth And Start Again' has anything worth merit contained within it: namely the wah-wah guitars and the great chorus. Side One rounds off with a pale imitation of the Charlatans' 'WhiteShirt' which is more acoustic than it should be. Side two is no better. 'Teenage Mother Superior' is a great song title but not a great song. If comparisons are to be made then it sounds like Blur after an overdose of sleeping tablets (Are you catching all this, Nick?). 'Railway Children' sounds like the Railway Children (both the book and the band), ie slow and not very interesting, while 'Postcards From Here' is amedium-paCed romp through familiar territory. 'Ouch', the band's farewell ditty, is louder than anything else here but just as uninteresting. Thank you's extended as far out as Airhead, Marks & Spensers and Ipswich Town but why they are thanking these Bedazzled: They make you wish the boat would sink people is a mystery because if any of theu-friends really cared about them they would have told Bedazzled that their album is a pile of retro-Madchester shite. Neil Andrews _The Beaver, 12th October 1992 In Search Of Perfection Is it time for the beaten generation to answer the call of nature? Students are a sad lot, and this is perhaps reflected acutely in music tastes, that is if they have a taste at all. I have no problem with people who enjoy their chosen 'genre'. However, I can not relate to people who have no musical interests and these people rear their heads frequently at hall parties! They seem to think that all students enjoy listening to indie music and old 'pop' songs. They reason their argument by saying that it'll appeal to all tastes and that when everyone's really pissed they'll dance to anything. Well, if they'll dance to crap then they'll dance to something good. The 'music' played at most hall parties and student events appeals only to people with no musical taste. I'm sorry, but if you find this music stimulating when you're not wrecked out of your head then you don't deserve a stereo and I'm amazed at the sheer musical ignorance that the majority of the student population possesses. If you don't get clued up then don't sound-off like you write for the bloody Melody Maker. Sure, everyone's heard of Nirvana and that's why it gets played at hall parties, to reinforce the reactionary genre it wallows in. Okay, so no-one can expect you to be an expert and there's not many people that would claim to be an expert. But look around you, the music of the past should be left to your parents, the music of the present and the future is ours. What will you say to your kids about 90's music, and what could you say when you spent the time of your life (at Uni) when you're most susceptible to different music tastes, stuck up in some alcohol-fuelled hall party listening to ABBA and Dexy's Midnight Runners? I think you would borrow their compilation CD's and watch the retro-TV programs and realise what you missed. Okay, so perhaps enjoying a music genre to it's fullest extent means becoming part of a cliquey scene. To enjoy Heavy Metal you have to grow your hair long and smell, to enjoy indie you have to wear old clothes and smell, and to be a raver you have to gurn, suck dummies- oh, and smell. But you don't have to take it to it's extremities. Don't let your lives be governed by other people' s tastes and likewise don't govern peoples lives by your tastes. Just loosen up and get a life, will you! There are people who are making rash generalisations about what music you like. If you like hall party music then as I said before I can not relate to you, but if you too enjoy music then why put up with stuffwhich far from everyone 'liking' pleases few but the very sad amongst you. The only reason you may like this music is | purely due to drink. But think about how much more enjoyable these 'parties' and their cousin ENTS would be if you heard music you loved. Obviously not everyone would be pleased but it ' would be a far better system than pleasing no- I one. Citizen Smith 16 SPORTS The Beaver, 12 October, 1992 Houghton Raving We're Raving Street Harry As a self-appointed social commentator for the Lx)ndon School of Economics I feel that it is my duty to the punters to open up a particularly contentious can of worms in this, the maiden Harry of the year. This subject is very dear to my heart because just one year ago, like the lost sheep, I was sent wandering into one of the most soul-destroying areas of any student's life, meeting Freshers. It was then that I began to form my harsh, but as always, fair opinions of this curious animal, the new kid. The first thing you tend to be drawn to is the uncanny knack of freshers to dress like lay-by residents for their first weeks at college. I could never understand the need for Johnny Sixthformer to assert his right to freedom of expression by having holes in their jeans, slogan T-shirts of the criminally dull variety and the essential unbuttoned chequered shirt and denim jacket. To be fair, this mainly applies to the male variety. Equally able to show that they no longer conform are the LSE girls. They are rarely seen in anything other than inevitable (forever in...) blue jeans and some sort of 'Zoo-bag I don't shop in Miss Selfridge honestly' affair which was always bought in a sale, but was worth at least £40. The worrying new trend which has extended out of the first-year realms and has even stretched as far as sabbatical posts is the hair-weave. I must confess to wonder the logic of intelligent people who pay for an annoying piece string to be knotted to your head by some crusty at Camden Lock. I hope that they are aware that the original hair-weavers of the late '80's are now strolling round shopping centres in Bath begging for some change to get their mongrel a can of Super. Their hair-weaves are now tied around their wrists, on the other end is the whippet. It is interesting to note the changing wall fashions over the years, probably reflected in the fickle nature of the entertainment world. Last year it was difficult not to notice the amazing number of Jim Morrison's and Vic and Bob's adorning fellow hall-member's rooms as I invited them round for coffee (purely as a P.R. execise). Having seen the chance of knocking my pipe out for a few bob to supplement my grant (which I rarely bother to claim because I feel that the government are far too generous to students like me) I purchased a huge number of said posters. How foolish I was. Little did I realise that Vic and Bob are old hat and Bob Marley now adorns the walls of Stephen and Clare the tea granules students. The reason I guess that this has happened is that apparently everybody takes designer drugs and goes to raves now, and when they get home from the Astoria they plug in to The Orb or Bob and smoke the ceremonial weed. How crazy the kids are today! You would think that the good old British drunk had gone out of fashion, what with all this soap-dodging going on. Thankfully Harry and I are currently doing a service to the student that is so admirable that I have decided to commend myself. I am planning the 'get real' campaign. This is a hair-weave, cheqeured shirt, dirty or ripped clothes, long greasy hair,The Doors are good, I went Inter-railing, what did you get in etc. free zone. You are more than welcomed to have double standards, vote Liberal and above all, do what you want. The concept of soap-dodging is a relatively new one to the student worid and I would like to make it clear that Harry and I will play no part in it and will continue to watch WWF videos and believe that they really do hurt each other. \ We are putting on our raving shoes Here we are again at the start of a new season. After a summer break it is time to buckle down to the task in hand. That is to try and achieve success for the Athletic Union. Lord know's, if Moses parted the Red Sea we can surely win something this year. Having said that, Rome was not built in a day, and therefore we can attribute some of our heroic defeats of last year to being part of the learning curve. There are new faces at all the clubs and of course some of the old favourites have returned to the fold. Noteably Laurence Ryan is once again in mercurial evidence fresh from his summer job as a model in the Millet's catalogue. 'Tongues of Fire' Hitch is back, with the worrysome words "I'm in charge!". It is also good (honestly) to see the amazing vomit-drinking Rugby boys taking up their usual residence in the Tuns. The teams have been christened the Exxon Valdez this year due to their amazing ability to spill their contents as soon as the weather gets a bit rough. As for the hockey teams, well they are back, but who they are is another question. The A.U. as a whole has been considerably streamlined by the transfer of Jon Bradbum to Ents. for £5 and a packet of Benson's. There was a wrangle over personal terms and the A.U. finally succumbed to buying him a rugby shirt for every day of the week. 1 wouldfinally like to wish all the sports clubs the very best of luck forthe coming year. If they can give my co-editor and I as much entertainment as last year then expect these pages to be packed with the tales of woe, enormous defeats, magic mushroom poisonings, scraps and a bit of sport. It is fitting for me to add that at 3 O'Clock on Wednesday afternoon Ian Staples. Tribulations of Trials by Our Glasgow Correspondant. Wednesday lunchtime and the shell-suited throng assembled in Houghton Street, ready to depart for the hallowed turf of Berrylands. The AU trials had arrived again and the wheat prepared to be separated from the chafe. All the participants knew what was at stake, shameful failure to win a place, or success and it's guaranteed protection from social marginalisa- tion (or vice-versa for rugby players). In fact the best tale of the day was to come from our rugby brethren. A new player had appeared and proceeded to play a blinder. Come the end of the game and it soon became apparent that this particular hapless individual was not in fact at the LSE but rather our illustrious Strand neighbours. King's. He had played a whole game with about ten players wearing LSE tops; draw your own conclusions. And he was Irish. Football controversy was all the more heated and seemed to revolve around one individual. In the interests of fairness this individual shall not be named but his attitude found few favours with the hierarchy , fellow trialists, and allegedly with his best friend, Big-Ears. Despite this, football club-captain Steve Hitch was pleased with what he saw,".....obviously it's going to be a long, hard campaign but at the end of the day these players have got all the talent in the world. If they continue to give it 110% then we're certainly going to be there or thereabouts at the end of the season, and the other teams know that that's precisely what we are going to do, at the end of the day." By all reports Steve can expect total loyalty this year and the future certainly looks rosy.