The Beaver The Newspaper of the ISE Sli Issue number 574 Alastair Campbell Heckled at LSE - Exclusive Pictures on Page 3! It's Time Tb March For Peace Editorial Comment mot INCIHEtKTIW Every once in a while you get a chance to really do something. To really make a difference. To stand up and be counted. To nail your colours to the mast. Even for LSE students, lucky enough to be at one of the best universities and in one of the best cities in the world, such times are pretty rare. Most of life is pretty humdrum. But 15th February will be different. It will be on of those moments when we can really make a difference. Whatever you view on the looming prospect of war with Iraq no one can deny that, if it happens, it will be an event that will shape our generation. This Saturday will see the largest political demonstration in British history. Coaches and trains will con- verge on London from across the country, bringing an anticipated 500,000 people to protest against a war with Iraq. As the preparations are made for war and military forces deployed half a million people or more will come together to say no, not in my name. Sticking two fingers in the air at the grim fatalism of inevitability that grips too many, they will send a powerful message for peace to the Prime Minister and President Bush. AND THE BEAVER UKGES YOU TO JOIN THEM. IN YOUR THOUSANDS. Thousands of innocent Iraqis would die in any conflict and leaked UN documents suggest a humanitarian apocalypse will follow the end of Saddam Hussein's rightly hated regime. But the anti-war case goes well beyond humanitarian concerns for civilians. This looming war threatens us all. Not only because it would destabilise the world and exacerbate the hatreds that fuel the terrorism it is purportedly designed to combat. But most of all because it threatens ideals that we, as LSE students, should hold dear. Internationalism is threatened if unilateral action is taken against Iraq. Democracy is threatened if the Prime Minister's is allowed to recklessly disregard popular opposition to the war. Peace is threatened if preemptive war is legitimised. For all these reasons it's time for us, as individuals and as proud members of a proud institution, to take a stand and join the march. Houghton Street, 11am 15th February. See you there. This Saturday, 11am Houghton Street The Beaver Focus: \I S Elections Page 6 Page 2 The Beaver News Tuesday 11th February Tower Two Occupation Drama Beauty & the Beasts? A demonstrator outside Tower Two Michael Bourke Last Tuesday saw a dramatic occupation by a group of LSE students of Exxon offices on the third floor of Tower Two. At around 2.30pm two protestors snuck into the tower from Tower One. They came down to the entrance hall and opened the main doors, allowing a further 17 protestors to gain access to the building. Once inside the protestors began a peaceful occupation of Exxon's offices. Their "Direct Action" was inspired by their belief that oil companies such as Exxon were complicit in George Bush's abrogation of the Kyoto Protocol and thus is guilty of failing to address global warming. Furthermore, the protestors allege that the looming war with Iraq is being driven by America's reliance on oil. Michael Bourke Ellie Schling a 2nd year LSE student, was arrested last Tuesday at a demonstration outside the ExxonMobil building at the end of Kingsway. The demonstration, in protest at Exxon's policies towards the Kyoto Protocol and its alleged indifference to global warming, occurred in the aftermath of the occupation of Exxon's offices in Tower 2. Following their ejection from the tower, some of the protestors involved decided to continue to express their opposition to the American oil company. They were joined by a number of other students as they marched down Houghton Street. Once outside the Exxon building the demonstrators, approximately 20 in number, formed a line across the entrance to the building. They began to chant anti-Exxon slogans and distribute leaflets to passers by. Understandably, in light of the previous occupation, Exxon were on their guard with yellow jacketed security men visible in the atrium of their offices. However, no attempt was made to enter the building. Exxon contest these allegations strongly and devote much space on their website (www2.exxonmobil.com) to defending themselves and describing their vision of corporate social responsibility. After the occupation had been in progress for about an hour 23 officers from one of the Metropolitan Police's Tactical Support Groups (TSGs) arrived to remove the demonstrators. Clad in body armour the officers entered the tower and soon afterwards the student occupiers started to be ejected one by one. Speaking to the Beaver afterwards, the demonstrators all told remarkably similar stories about events inside the tower. When they arrived, the Tactical Support Group officers attempted to coax the students into leaving by telling them "You can leave or I can apply some pressure and cause some pain." True to their word, the police then pressure pointed those who At about 4.30pm, after the demonstration had been going for 20 minutes, several police officers arrived. They began to use crash barriers to construct a channel Protestors outside the Exxon building of Kingsway out of the building. It was during this process that Schling was arrested, for what the police allege was "willfully obstructing the public highway". As the police attempted to drag her to a van remained in Tower Two, causing what one protestor described as "considerable" pain as they ended the occupation. ' As the ejected protestors gathered with other activists outside Tower Two chanting anti-Exxon and anti-war slogans, the TSG reemerged from the building and formed a line in front of it. They then decided to clear the street outside the Tower, a move the protestors allege was in breach of a promise they had been given that the protest could continue outside. No audible request for the crowd, by now numbering around 30, to disperse was given before some of the officers began to push people towards Houghton Street, using what many of the demonstrators described as "excessive force". Several people fell to the ground in the melee that ensued. One demonstrator was thrown into a bicycle by a police officer while another alleged that a TSG officer had grabbed his testicles from behind. Afterwards many protestors told the Beaver that they had been kicked and manhandled by the police. However, despite their experiences, they seemed upbeat and proud of what they would term their "achievement". As one of their number told the Beaver "We successfully disrupted the smooth operation of Exxon - Mobil." The Tactical Support Group begins to clear the street parked on the pedestrian crossing in the middle of Kingsway many of the other demonstrators rushed towards it. To concerted cries of "Shame!" and "Free, Free, Free Ellie!" Schling was bundled into the vehicle. Police officers shoved away protestors surrounding the van as it sped off, leaving several students sprawling in the middle of the road. Following a quick conference on the pavement the bulk of the protestors decided to go to Charing Cross Police station where Schling had been taken. Once there they kept vigil from the pavement opposite after being removed from the steps of the station itself. Various people made frantic phone calls in an attempt to ascertain whether or not charges were being pressed. Later that evening, it became clear that the police had indeed charged the LSE student with "willfully obstructing the highway". A court hearing took place at Bow Street Magistrates Court last Friday. Schling pleaded not guilty and the case was adjourned. It will recommence on the 14th March. The People's Banner Is, Erm, Deeply Divisive? Michael Bourke Amidst the high profile action of "Debate The War Week" a row has broken out within the Stop The War Coalition (STWC). It concerns the notorious banner of the LSE Socialist Worker Student Society (SWSS) which bears the menacing slogan "One stockbroker is one too many". The appearance of the banner outside the Exxon building last Tuesday provoked prominent STWC activist Gregor Hackmack to write to the Beaver to express his concerns. He wrote "I have heard of people who refuse to join the Stop the War Coalition or attend its meetings because they are afraid that SWSS might use them to further the aims of the SWP [the Socialist Workers' Party] by dominating the coalition and/or claiming disproportionate credit for successful Stop the War Coalition events. I would like to point out that the vast majority of Stop the War coalition activists are not from SWSS." While going out his way to praise the hard work of SWSS activists James Meadway and Tom Whittaker for whom he expresses "great respect", Hackmack makes clear that he considers the issue a serious one for the coalition. His feelings have been echoed by several other activists contacted by the Beaver who fear that over-associating STWC with SWSS is both inaccurate and unhelpful. The same sources also confirmed that the issue has been raised before within the Coalition and that SWSS members have not responded to the concerns raised. A code of conduct concerning banners is now being proposed as a solution to the Coalitions disagreements on this matter. One of the LSE SWSS members named in Hackmack's letter, James Meadway, appeared keen to downplay the incident. He told the Beaver "The Coalition we've got at the LSE is one of the best in the country. Everyone involved, from whatever organization or none has worked really hard to bring it all together." However, speaking about the banner issue he said "I think everyone in the Coalition respects the right of everyone else to bring what they can to the Coalition - including banners." LSE/Columbia link strengthened by £1.2 million joint US/UK grant The LSE and America's Columbia University have been awarded £1.2 million to pursue research into the use of digital resources in the teaching and learning of social and cultural anthropology. The LSE and Columbia already have strong ties. A memorandum of understanding commites the two institutions to developing joint Masters programmes and carrying out joint research. Dr Charles Stafford, Reader in Anthropology at LSE, said "Digital resources have the potential to reshape the teaching and learning of academic subjects but for complex reasons their impact is sometimes less than might be expected. Our exciting collaborative project aims to examine this problem in some detail,, in the context of undergraduate anthropology teaching." Arresting Action Against Global Warming Tuesday 11th February The Beaver News Alastair And The Activists El Barham The LSE was given a glimpse into the inner workings of government last Friday when Alastair Campbell, the government's director of communications and strategy opened a new series of lectures examining the links between the media and politics. Security was tight, with all bags checked on entry to the Old Theatre. However, flaunting the School's precautions a group of anti-war protestors were still able to protest against the government's policy on Iraq. Prohibitions on audiovisual equipment were also rigourously enforced. However, ever eager to give its readers the full low down, the Beaver has managed to obtain undercover photographs taken at the meeting. 10 minutes into Campbell's talk on the role of the media and the political professional 14 protestors on the lower floor of the Old Theatre stood up and produced posters bearing the simple slogan "No". Simultaneously a banner reading "Not in our name" was unfurled from the balcony. The possibility of action had clearly been anticipated by the School but once it became clear that the protestors did not intend to storm the stage or prevent the lecture going ahead they seemed relatively content to let it continue. The protestors were generally silent barring a few heckled interventions from some which were met with boos from many in the audience. The man invariably credited with winning the 1997 election for the Labour Party, lived up to his reputation as the master of the moment. He acknowledged the protesters, observed dryly that it was "Nice not to be the only one who has to stand." In contrast LSE Director Anthony Giddens snapped "Shut Up!" at one of the hecklers. Amusingly Campbell, who was speaking from a prepared text, reached a passage about "the less deferential attitudes of the young" shortly after the protest begun. The substance of his lecture centred on the changed relationship between politicians and the media and the effect that this has had on the electorate. Campbell warned that "The low turn out of the 2001 election is a symptom of wide political dis-association, cynicism and apathy. It is the responsibility of the media to engage voters in the political issues of the day by facilitating improved dialogue between politicians and the public." He cited the constant search for the next, ever more contentious, headline, exacerbated by media developments such as rolling news, as a danger to democracy. He went on to blame reality TV for creating unrealistic expectations of instant gratification, saying "It is difficult to communicate to people how slow the processes of democracy really are. The sense of empowerment that people get by voting for shows such as Pop Idol is at odds with the political process." Most interestingly, Campbell spoke with candour about the consequences of Labour's more professional media management, a development in which he was instrumental. He acknowledged that what had initially been a positive had led to alienation and a situation in which "spin" had become the story "contaminating everything the government does." He admitted that there had come a point when the media operation he leads had become "over-controlling and manipulative" and the Labour party "had brought too many opposition tactics to government." Campbell argued trust between governed and governing had been diminished. He conceded that "We were too slow to see our role in that devaluation." However, Campbell's apparent honesty and contrition about his role in the cheapening of British politics was itself undermined by revelations published in the Guardian on Friday morning which detailed how large sections of the government's Iraq dossier had been plagiarised from the work of an American post-graduate student. The audience was left to ponder if his rejection of the dark arts of spin was in fact little more than "New Spin". During questions Campbell responded forcefully and fluently on the issue of Iraq. He held up Tony Blair's performance on last Wednesday's Newsnight as an example of the government's desire to interact with the people and explain its position. He expressed disgust with what he described as left wing apologists for Saddam Hussein and poured scorn on Tony Benn's interview with the Iraqi dictator. Overall, Campbell's performance was impressive. He lived up to his reputation, and was notably unruffled by the numerous protesters who interrupted him from the balcony as the event drew to a close. The pictures they didn't want you to see - Stop The War Protestors take on government Spin Supremo UGM Gets Gi El Barham As ^he clock struck one last Thursday afternoon, students started gently streaming into the Old Theatre for the usual UGM. The augmented numbers in attendance, however, were an indication that this would be no ordinary meeting. The LSE's renowned director, Tony Giddens, had condescended to come down from the realms of lofty academia and put in an appearance. Professor Giddens began very much in the fashion that one would expect, thanking Tuuli Kousa, LSESU General Secretary, for her able representation of student views and pouring forth some neatly honed phrases about the LSE's intellectual assets and achievements, stressing how fortunate we all are to find ourselves studying at such a prestigious institution. It was nothing that has not been said before on many a previous occasion, but an ego massage never does any harm. There was, however, an air of finality in the departing Director's words as he assessed, favourably for obvious reasons, his time at the LSE, emphasising his input into the improvements around campus and dy With It For the promotion of 'the LSE' global brand name as an institution of excellence. The real spice of the event began as the pep talk drew to a close and students were given the moment they had been waiting Soon you'll miss this picture. Honest. for, and were invited to submit questions. Symbolically discarding his jacket and dismounting the podium to join the ranks below in a fashion reminiscent of Elizabeth Dole, Giddens endeavoured, to his credit, to answer each and every query in full, despite being bombarded with the traditional paper balls from the balcony. His answers were, if anything, too long, with Chairman Cole having stem the flow of eloquence in order for more questions to be posed. One Last Time t, ..j... Most present took the opportunity to delve deeper into the LSE's planned response to the White Paper. Giddens made it clear that the LSE is lively to issue a favourable response, saying, "On the whole we support the government's proposal. Universities have changed significantly over the past 50 years and the expansions have been continuously under-funded." However, as expected, Giddens was unable to specify the exact level of fees that would be levied on future students, although he intimated that it is likely to be the full whack of £3,000. The highlight of the meeting came with a humorous aside from Rex Walker, President of the AU.. Relieving Giddens of the microphone to ensure no listener was unable to hear his words, he read out a decidedly uncomplimentary passage from the diaries of one of the LSE's most celebrated visiting Professors, Tony Benn, detailing his premier encounter with the Director. To say Benn does not think much of Giddens would not be strictly true, but what he does think of him is unflattering. This is unfailingly made evident by is liberal use of words such as 'vacuous', 'meaningless' and 'idiotic', although not necessarily in that order. Giddens declined the opportunity to dispute Mr Benn's judgement. Page 3 Union Jack Jaek's been busy listening to the World Service, and heard Tony Blair saying his latest decision would be difficult and unpopular. He was struck by the similarity in Blair's argument for the need for war and Giddens' argument for the need for tuition fees. Last Thursday, Jack arrived early at one of the greatest learning institutions in the world, and quickly realised he was in the wrong place, so he left and walked across the road to the Old Building. Giddens doesn't seem to have changed much since last year - same questions, same answers, though he did appear slightly grey. Apart from Supertramp, who had got his mummy to underline an uncomplimentary passage in Tony Benn's memoirs, and tried to throw an unsuccessful bone in the works by confronting Giddens with it, the UGM was dull beyond measure, and scarcely merits a mention in this week's column. Congratulations, however, to the balcony boy who (finally) managed to score a direct hit. More interesting was the announcement by the Returning Officer. So someone has jumped the gun, and in desperation for votes has been sending out emails to various societies asking them to consider voting for him in the Lent term elections.... Now who would have the resources to do something like that? Jack couldn't possibly imagine. Given that talk in the Tuns has been of little else than campaigning and elections all term, he's obviously quite a late starter... The Union has been not so much blood red of late as a pleasant shade of pink during LGBT Awareness Week, and chances are it may stay that way. Rumour has it that the greater focus on liberal ideas has catalysed the formation of a new coalition, which is gathering force - for once not a Swizz-Trot alliance, but an opposing body designed to put a stop to their militant activities. Feeling amongst those to the left of reason, has been running high lately, with several members admitting that then-leaders may have gone too far. Perhaps ' this "new' coalition will put the" nail in the coffin. UGM over, Jack hastened to the nearest watering hole, leaving the die-hards to satisfy their urge for more procrastination with Union council, and Dave 'I'll knock precisely 15 seconds before the two minutes are up' Cole rubbing his hands with glee at the prospect of being allowed to chair two meetings in one afternoon. He later heard reports that Patronising Dave had to be taken to a cool dark room to lie down and have his fevered brow mopped - the excitement just became all too much for him. Jack's not too pleased with Dave, as he thinks he's getting a bit too big for his boots recently - Dave claimed he had been offered £50 to eject Giddens from the UGM, however Jack is willing to offer a considerably larger amount to eject Dave if he ever mentions the Debating Society again. Jack has heard on the grapevine that if Patronising Dave is put in prison following an ejection of Giddens, he plans to write a book of his thoughts, entitled Mein Kopf Page 4 TheBeaverFarFhmg The Peaceniks, The Plane and the Former PM's Progeny Michael Bourke In a bizarre departure from their normal activities LSE Stop The War Activists hired a plane to fly down the South Coast last Saturday, towing a large banner advertising the Peace Demonstration to be held in London on the 15 th February. Even more curious is the identity of the benefactor who made this unusual stunt possible. Richard Pollock, 82, is a relative of former Liberal Prime Minister Herbert Asquith. Pollock approached the surprised LSE students last week, offering to finance a big anti-war gimmick to publicise the forthcoming demo. Julie Nahrgang and Gregor Hackmack of the Stop The War Coalition met Mr Pollock to discuss the options available and decided to charter a plane to fly down the South Coast for 3 hours. The total cost of the venture, £775, was covered by Mr Pollock. Explaining his largesse, Mr Pollock said "As I am too old to attend the demon- stration myself, I wanted to at least promote it in some helpful way. This war is wrong and everyone has to do what they can to prevent it." Nahrgang told the Beaver "We're delighted to help Mr Pollock with this anti-war stunt. We hope the banner will encourage even more people to attend the demo on the 15th February." She added "This is a great example of the breadth of the anti-war movement -people of all nationalities and ages are working together to stop this war." ' ••t.; /- " , 1 III lltC v i "*!* & mmm LLY-LONDQN-FEB.IS LSE Staff Still Weighting For An Offer Sal Chowdhury 40 institutions and 120,000 students were affected by last Tuesday's London Weighting strike, according to the Association of University Teachers. However, the LSE turnout was somewhat muted, with only seven or so demonstrating outside the Old Building and a mere two strikers to be found at entrances to the major School buildings. Lord Desai, fighting for what he believes LSE staff should be entitled to, asserted: "For a lot of people, particularly admin staff and those working in the less-skilled jobs, £2,000 makes a marked difference... we are not only falling behind other employers but among our rival universities as well. This increase would account for more than 10% of their current pay." His deep concerns were echoed by Centre Manager and AUT member Joanna Hay Hay stressed that the failure to increase the allowance for eleven years in a row was unjust. She added that nothing short of the £4,000 demanded would suffice. The failure to increase the allowance could be viewed as unfair taking into account that schoolteachers received a 30% upsurge as recently as 2001, which was subsequently increased by a further 3.5%. One must also consider the special treatment of Police officers whose allowance has now become a sizeable £6,051 compared to the meagre £2,134 weighting given to academic and related staff. It goes without saying that London is one of the most expensive cities in the world, but another more perturbing fact is that higher education staff have had to finance the ever increasing cost of living from their own low salaries during this eleven-year 'weighting freeze.' Archivist and member of the AUT Stefan Dickers explained: "It's ridiculous. We have to commute everyday. It costs us £30 per week to travel and then we have to think about rent on top of that. The cost of housing in London is getting beyond a joke. In the ten years during the freeze, prices have risen by 155% - it may be something that we have said time and time again, but this is a reality that cannot be ignored." This problem has been illustrated by the mass exodus of higher education employees from the Greater London area which means that administrative staff need to be constantly replaced. A sense of continuity is impossible to maintain. UNISON member Sue Roebuck illustrated this, saying, "whenever a phone call is made, it is a new person on the other end, so there is no consistency - if people felt they were treated better, this would change - I suppose there is also a moral element to this dispute." Heads of institutions have widely acknowledged the inability to retain high IVF Expert Lord Winston has backed the strikers pay claim quality staff. Even so, following the last strike, employers have failed to make any offer although negotiations are planned. Student reaction to the strike has been mixed, some crossing the picket line to enter the library, despite requests from demonstrators not to do so. Whilst the desire to continue work as normal so as to not jeopardise one's studies is understandable, there are deeper ramifications which should be considered, argue some within the student movement. NUS President Mandy Telford emphasised: "With students being asked once again to stump up to address the years of under-funding across the higher education sector it is imperative that university staff are properly paid. Students do not want to be taught by poorly paid overworked lecturers." The student body should back lecturers, as we can only benefit from a teaching staff free from hardship. Lecturers' starting salaries are around £22,000, and whilst this may seem a relatively high amount, they, like all graduates, enter the job market with a large burden of debt. For young academic staff especially, this claim for a higher living allowance for working in the capital will assist in paying off the debts accumulated from years of postgraduate study. LSE Director Anthony Giddens has instituted a MORI poll taken by all staff, the results calling for an increase. Julia Raplin of UNISON told the Beaver, "The 'Working Group on Terms and Conditions' that was established determined that the required amount would be £4,000. But no undertaking has been made to implement this, as Mr Giddens and the other Heads of the London universities feel that even a small increase would have significant cost implications," Giddens categorically ruled out the possibility of a London Weighting increase for LSE staff at Thursday's UGM. He said: "Salaries of academics are very poor across the UK. We are trying to elevate salaries throughout the LSE, but it would not be a fair system to build a London Weighting into this. The method I've outlined is more fair as it benefits junior staff as much as established academics." Giddens himself may not share the feeling of urgency expressed by many of his colleagues, as his salary far outstrips their earnings. However, such 'implications' do not seem to apply to the university chiefs. Their allowance, according to the Times Higher Education Supplement, reached the £16,000 mark for the 2000/1 academic year. In the same year Giddens himself earned £40,000 above the UK average of £120,000. This is unsurprisingly viewed as a double standard. Negotiations will take place in mid-February. If directors continue in their refusal to act both UNISON and the AUT will conduct a further day of strike action. The proposed third day happily coincides with the proposed NUS "University Shutdown" on March 5th. Tuesday 11th February Point Scoring El Barham Your humble student newspaper has been placed at the centre of controversy this week, following a complaint from a member of LSE's Israel Society published in the Jewish Chronicle. The society's head, Gil Gorev, claims that two articles submitted by Jewish contributors detailing an Israeli outlook on the situation in the Middle East, have been 'sabotaged' by the use of unflattering images and inappropriate headlines. The Beaver has accepted that the first article, headlined 'Bulldozing down misconceptions', could be interpreted as being unfairly biased, and we would like to clarify that any offense that may have been caused was entirely unintentional. However, the second complaint regard- JewishChronicle E3 Not quite the way the Beaver wanted to go national... ing an article published in last week's issue, accompanied by a picture of Ariel Sharon, which, according to Mr Gorev "makes him look like he is giving a Nazi salute" is not justified, argues Ibrahim Rasheed, Executive Editor of the Beaver. The picture in question was originally published in Der Spiegel, the German equivalent of Time and Newsweek on February 5th 2001 and, as far as we are aware, they have not received complaints regarding the image. It was in fact purposely selected so as not to portray any bias. It merely depicts Israel's Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, standing in front of an Israeli flag. Further, it should be pointed out that the Nazi salute involves raising the hand above the head, whereas the picture of Sharon clearly shows that his hand is well below the cranium. As our editor explained to the Jewish Chronicle, there was no intention to undermine the articles in question and we hope that the Israeli Society continues to submit articles for publication. Decide For Yourself! Below is one of the "controversial" images cited in the Jewish Chronicle. We reprint it here so that our readers can make up their own minds. Tuesday 11th February The Beaver News Page 5 BANG BANG BANGS ON Idunno, you've got your all bar one's, your local Texaco garages, your boy bands, your plastic politicians and plastic men, it makes me think that its just a plastic world. Don't get me wrong, Bang couldn't lose heart or grow disenchanted if he tried, it just seems that there is a lack of magic in the world right now and that shall have to be remedied. Thankfully, I know there's a.whole army of you out there that thinks the same thing whether you know it or not. Its just that there's also a huge Ore army out there who don't give a rub that the world is turning a darker shade of grey, worse still, they are incapable of perceiving such a change. Well I ain't floating around in no limbo; I'm here to release this info! What we need is a class of new, artistic agitators to push all limits and create a stir in every circle that was and is coming. His new creed must be that it is forbidden to forbid! His agitation must wake people up to the glory that is there for them and that they are allowing them- selves to miss because they are all too busy policing themselves and each other. They must be made aware that a man for whom nothing exists beyond his immediate situation is not really human. He has to be made aware that neither your poncy academic world, psycho analyst, rabbi or astrologer has given modern man what he is looking for; what he wants is something with meaning that doesn't turn its back on the modern world. Well, boys and girls you ain't never gonna get such a thing sitting on your corporate posteriors bashing one out all over your future desk filled with paperwork, internet crap and post it notes! You gotta get it into perspective that all the crap around you is just that! It was made by man's amazing genius but has since been tarnished by the fact that that it now commands man! "If your not dot.com your dot.dead!" they say, well screw you! All these wires, emails, nuts and bolts have not allowed you the free time to cultivate your personality, they have defined your personality. You are not you; you are your job. Worse still, you are just a component in the functioning of a great economic machine whatever you want to call it. You call that living? You think all its about is getting your degree, getting your CV done, getting a job, getting married, getting kids, getting dead? Well I don't because those things are a means not ends in themselves! You can grow wings and be as tall as the sky if you want, instead too many are settling for a humdrum, 'what shall I do today, go shopping?' path through the thing they call life. People are becoming cut off from the natural world around them with most of us being squashed into these big cities and cut off from each other. The problem is too many of us think we are just too small and insignificant, too weak to exact change. Instead of trying to get the world to fit us, we are trying to fit into the world; well, not me. If it upsets people or gets me into trouble so be it. If it finally ruins me, so be it - it was my choice not anybodyelses! All Jesus was really saying from where I stand was 'be thyself'. He was saying 'you have a wonderful personality. Develop it. Be yourself, and for that he was nailed up. The trouble now is everybody is looking over there shoulder in case they are socially nailed up, in case they are seen to be acting incorrectly according to whatever weird standards they might be applying. People are caught up in so many scenarios they are becoming merely reactionary shadows of the situations around them and because that is such an unsatisfying way to exist, they cover themselves in emotional plasters be they partners, drink or drugs. Well I'm inviting you all to listen to the future agitators and perhaps join Bang in at least trying for something for more. Freedom is unnerving but exhilarating. You can't and shouldn't miss out on the wonder of the world just waiting for you to say hello! So when your dawn comes, look to the east! BANG BANG! It's Like "The Empire Strikes Back!" Michael Bourke Students of the Department of Government have been accused of letting the side down after they attended the annual away weekend at Cumberland Lodge a fortnight ago. The Lodge is situated in Windsor Great Park and is home to the Foundation of St. Catharine's, a charitable trust set up after the war to assist in the education of students. A worrying tone was set when the Government students arrived. On Friday evening the Principal of the Foundation, Dr Alastair Niven, gave a talk in which he laboured the Foundation's royal connections and gave strict warning that excessive drinking and the consumption of outside alcohol would not be tolerated. All appeared to be going well, however, until Saturday night. After the bar had closed at 2am, a group of students adjourned to the Mews part of the Lodge to continue enjoying themselves. Unfortunately for some this merrymaking entailed smoking in a room with a smoke detector in which smoking was forbidden. The looming crisis was compounded by the fact that a fire strike was in progress, a state of affairs which had brought forth stern prohibitions on smoking indoors from the management. The smoke alarm duly went off and after some frantic running around by the staff of the Lodge was turned off again. The Department of Government had certainly not heard the end of the matter though. Those students who made it down to breakfast a scant 5 hours after the end of the infamous "Mews Party" found a somewhat hysterical letter from Dr. Niven accompanying their croissants. The letter lamented the behaviour of the smokers who, the Principal, alleged "continued to smoke throughout the whole episode". It went on "This is the most serious breach of trust that has occurred here since I became Principal two years ago." Dr Niven also went to write that "It will be impossible for those who run the Foundation, and who are answerable to the crown, to turn a blind eye to it." Reactions amongst the weekenders were mixed. Many felt that Dr Niven had over-reacted. One international student said "This is the sort of language I imagined British people used before I got to know them - it's like the empire strikes back!" However, there was also criticism of those who had initiated the whole debacle. Several students questioned whether anyone stupid enough to smoke in a room with a smoke detector should ever have been allowed into the LSE in the first place. HOW FAR CAN YOU GO? Morgan Stanley Asia Pacific Invites You... INVESTMENT BANKING OPPORTUNITIES IN ASIA PACIFIC We invite interested students to apply for 2003 Summer Analyst positions. For more information on this opportunity, please visit our web site: www.morganstanley.com/careers Deadline for application submission: February 14, 2003 Apply online at www.morganstanley.com/careers For inquires, contact asia.recruit@morganstanley.com Join us MorganStanley r -ir *rw •« The Beaver Focus: NUS Elections LSE Hacks Seek National Stardom Iain Bundred TWO LSE students from the extreme right and left will attempt to step out of the quagmire of our own student politics this term as they stand for sabbatical positions on the NUS executive. The hacks come from the polar oppo-sites of the UGM spectrum, representing the Conservative Future and Socialist Worker Student Society groups that have both proved vocal in LSE politics throughout the year. Current Union Treasurer, Pete Bellini, will be standing for the position of Vice President Education at NUS' annual conference in Blackpool this April, whilst Marxist Tom Whittaker will be seeking election as National Treasurer - one of the top three jobs within the national union. Wnittaker, hedging his bets somewhat on this coveted posts, will also be standing for a part-time position in the National Executive Committee's 'Block of Twelve' contest - twelve non-portfolio, part-time positions voted en masse by conference, with 24 candidates running this year. The two will running on a slate backed by the extreme opposing NUS political groupings, it would seem. Bellini is representing national Conservative Future (CF) for his third consecutive attempt at VP Education, alongside candidates for all other five full-time positions on the NEC elected on Conference floor (including Alan Cooke, who will oppose Whittaker for National Treasurer) as well as two prospective part-timers standing for the 12-post 'Block' election. Whittaker - a vociferous SWSS activist at LSE who runs their UGM shenanigans alongside James Meadway - will be running on the 'ENW' (Education Not War) slate, that represents a coalition of extreme left groups (labelled "Trots') within NUS politics. Conservative Future saw a dramatic rise in their votes at Conference last year and insider Tories prophesise an increase in their group's presence this year. But CF, like Whittaker's ENW, rarely take any of the six full-time posts that are up for grabs in Blackpool. Both gain greater representation on the Block of Twelve - where Bellini (unlike last year) is not standing. The full-timers nave been fought out in recent years by Labour Students and the 'Organised Independents' (OIs), the largest groupings within NUS. The incumbent President, Mandy Telford, is a Labour Student and seeking re-election as the unity candidate pledging to carry on the fight against fees instead of provoking internal divisions. Her NEC colleague, part-timer Steve Bloomfield, will be fight- Looking bonny for re-election or just another NOLsie stooge? ing Whittaker for National Treasurer. Bellini, meanwhile, will be facing one of the strongest OIs, Chris Weavers, who won VP Education last year by a wide margin and (like Telford) will point to the success of this year's National March as grounds to re-elect him. The LSE Treasurer may try to argue that the government's Higher Education review announced last month shows that Weavers has failed students. But, given Education Secretary Charles Clarke's comments that NUS persuaded him to scrap market-linked student loans, they will have problems convincing delegates that NUS has been impotent in influencing the process - something that Telford's six opponents for National President will have an even tougher job still of achieving. Whittaker does not face an incumbent, since this year's National Treasurer, wide-boy Dervish Mertcan, took the decision to oppose Telford for President. Instead, Tom will take his fiery brand of militantism instead to oppose the socialist Labour Student Bloomfield - a NUS Services board member for two years and former President of Liverpool University - and Mertcan's preferred choice, Ross Renton -current Deputy President of NUS Scotland and another NUSSL member. He also faces the lesser dangers of the Tory, Cooke, and Omar Warraich - believed to be part of a pro-Palestinian slate, who are running for the first time in NUS this year. Whittaker's best chances would seem to lie in the somewhat vain hope that Renton and Bloomfield cancel each other out so that he can sneak in between the two, though he may be standing purely for the opportunity to hust - a common NUS ploy used to raise a candidate's profile for the part-time elections and (in tne case of Trotsyist runners) seize the opportunity of a platform to shout about their vehement opposition to war, fees, trade liberalisation, etc. It will certainly not be an easy election for either LSE student. Running for a national position tends to involve endless trips across the country to higher and further education institutions, raising a candidate's profile and hacking conference delegates in the hope of winning votes in Blackpool. For third-year Whittaker this may be his last chance to stand for a sabbatical as a culmination to his student radicalism -although many tip him to be the SWSS candidate for Gen Sec in the upcoming LSESU elections. Bellini, on the other hand, is mooting to re-stand as LSE Treasurer and the Tory hack - already in his fourth year on Houghton Street - still has the matter of finishing his undergraduate degree to deal with at some point. They both face an arduous conflict in Blackpool come April, but given that it is the first year within living memory that more than one candidate from LSE has stood for NUS elections, we should watch their progress with interest. Following the government's Higher Education White Paper, the Beaver decided to team up with Nick Barr, Professor of Economics at the LSE and higher education policy wonk par excellence, to answer some of your questions! Women and black people face disadvantage in the labour market, so won't it take them longer to repay their debts? Doesn't this mean the disadvantaged are saddled with debt? Is the glass half empty or half full? Some groups do face disadvantage in the labour market, and we all agree that policy should aim to eliminate those disadvantages. Student loans are deliberately designed to protect such people. Since 1998 we have had income-contingent loans, i.e. loans with repayments calculated as x% of earnings (the current formula is 9% of earnings above £10,000 per year). Iain Crawford and I spent many years campaigning for income-contingent loans rather than mortgage loans precisely because they (a) offer instant protection to people whose short-term earnings are low, and (b) are deliberately designed so that people with low lifetime earnings do not fully repay their student debt. In short, the situation your question describes represents well-targeted social policy spending. That said, I have urged government to forgive any debt unpaid after 25 years. At the end of my studies, I will owe the Students Loan Company about £18,000 plus interest. If I apply to buy something on credit after my degree, will this debt be taken into account? Lenders (mortgage, car, etc.) are normally interested in your income net of deductions like income tax, national insurance contributions and similar outgoings such as loan repayments. Thus on the face of it (a) loan repayments would reduce your borrowing capacity, but (b) not by much since your monthly repayments, by definition, are a relatively small fraction of your earnings; if you earn £20,000 per year, your loan repayments (see formula in previous question) are £75 per month. However, remember that (c) your income will generally be higher because you have a degree and (d) lenders regard graduates as good risks; for both reasons, even allowing for loan repayments, your borrowing capacity will generally be higher with a degree than without. Would your answer be different if the proposed funding arrangements were introduced? From 2005, the threshold for loan repay- ments will be £15,000. In the above example, your monthly repayments would be £37.50 per month. Thus the effect on your borrowing capacity would be even smaller. That remains true even if you have a larger loan, e.g. to cover fees. With income-contingent repayments, a larger loan has no effect on your monthly repayments; instead you repay for longer. Increased fees mean that many students won't be able to afford to leave home to study. Given the government is supposed to give students more independence how does this make sense? At present, there is no loan to cover the £1100 tuition fee. From 2006, fees will vary between 0 and £3000, but will be covered by a loan entitlement in addition to the current maintenance loan. Thus, from 2006 students will have to find less money upfront than currently, making it easier to live away from home. If you have any more questions about higher education funding please email thebeaver@lse.ac.uk and we may run this feature again. Tuesday 11th February The Beaver Team EXECUTIVE EDITOR Ibrahim Rasheed MANAGING EDITOR Mike Burn BUSINESS MANAGER Nicholas Stoker TECHNICAL DIRECTOR Brian Choudhary NEWS EDITORS Michael Bourke, El Barham B:UNK EDITORS Ibrahim Rasheed; Ben Chapman B:ART EDITOR Justin Nolan SPORTS EDITORS Holly Featherstone; Gareth Carter PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Rowan Harvey POLITICS EDITOR Adam Quinn INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS EDITORS Patrick Murdoch; Brian Kelly B:UNK INVESTIGATIVE FEATURES Chris Thomas ECONOMIC AFFAIRS Ed Caiow FILM EDITORS Eleanor Keech; Terance Li MUSIC EDITORS Mike Burn; Jazmin Burgess CLUBBING EDITOR Tom Miskin LITERARY EDITOR Dalia King THEATRE EDITOR Keith Postler THE COLLECTIVE Duncan 'off the air' Adams, Serif Alp Atakcan, El Barham, Christina Beharry, Peter Bellini, Matthias Benzer, Vida Bromby-Tavener, Farzan Bilimoria, James 'Mullet' Baker, Michael Bourke, Leonard Brouwer, Hannah Bryce, Lome Charles, Jon Clegg, Dave Cole, Ed Cook, Naomi Colvin, Peter Coupe, Dan Cumming, Nafeesa Ermes, Tristan Feunteun, Juli Gan, Ian Gascoigne, Sarah Greenberg, Rowan Harvey, Sib Hayer, Jez Healey, Lindsay Hoag, Dani Ismail, Katherine Jacomb, Lyle Jackson, Tom Jenkins, Edward Jones, Paul Kirby, Tuuli Kousa, Candice MacDonald, Dan Madden, Vita Maynard, Loz Morgan, Garbrielle Menezes, Ruth Molyneux, Linda Morris, Shashwat Nanda, Robin Noble, Justin Nolan, Phillip Nielsen, Samantha Nicklin, Daniela Ott, Priya Parkash, Neel Patel, Nicholas Pauro, Sarah Peet, Alison Perine, Chelsea Phua, Kirstine Potts, Claire Pryde, Vanessa Raizberg, Jan Rattay, Zaf Rashid, Loretta Reehill, Piers Sanders, Donny Surtani, Susannah Sava, Andy Saxton, James Sharrock, Elliot Simmons, Matthew Stoate, Jamie Tehrani, Saija Vuola, Julius Walker, Laura Wheeler. PRINTED BY WEST COUNTRY DESIGN a PRINT HE QEt A from the man in the know: LSE's Nick Barr Tuesday 11th February The Bower Editorial Page 7 Letters to the Editor Dear Sir IT Services was deeply saddened that the LSE email system had been used to distribute such an offensive message (Racist Email Sent to LSE Students). The name of purported sender and the list of recipients suggests this email was a deliberate attempt to stir up racial tensions - something we deplore. It is quite clear in the School's Policy Statement on the Use of Information Technology that such activities are completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Both your front page story and your editorial raise questions about the security of our IT systems. While no computer system is absolutely secure (even the Pentagon is hacked from time to time) LSE does follow industry standard practices. We regularly review security practices and will continue to do so. It would perhaps be more palatable to imagine that this email was the act of a remote hacker somewhere out on the net but in this case, the email originated from a PC on campus. Whilst not conclusive, this indicates that the real sender was another member of the School community who either found a PC left unattended or who observed someone else's username and password. It is vital that all LSE staff and students appreciate the importance of keeping their account details secret. Never leave a PC unattended whilst you are logged in, not even with a screen saver password set. Never give anyone else your password and if you think someone may have seen you type it, then change your password immediately. It is a very unpleasant experience to have your identity used in this way, so please take care that it does not happen to you. Christine Cooper Technical Infrastructure Manager IT Services Dear Sir, We would like to congratulate ' The Beaver' on its coverage of the very serious and offensive nature of the recent Islamophobic e-mail sent to some LSE students. As the front page article noted, insitutions now have a legal responsibility to promote a positive understanding of diversity and support for racial harmony. The incident surrounding the racist e-mail showed the absolute importance and centrality of this, and the need to always be promoting diversity and understanding ; a s the old saying goes, "for evil to triumph, all that is necessary is for the good to do nothing . The Student's Union, which earlier this year overwhelmingly passed an anti-racist and anti-BNP motion, must now take a prominent lead in taking a clear and positive anti-discriminatory position. This must be the case not only on racism, but also providing the full support for those fighting for a fair deal for the victims of sexism and homophobia, and those struggling against inadequate consideration of the needs and views of disabled students. Hate has absolutely no place on the LSE campus and the SU's role is to encourage everyone to support campaigns against all forms of bigotry and discrimination and ensure those guilty of such behaviour and language are strongly challenged. This is an appeal to all LSE students to get involved with anit-racist initiatives and help SU officers and campaigners to stop persecutory language and behaviour against minorities in British society. Hiuli Kousa (SU General Secretary), Priya Parkash (SU Education and Welfare Officer), Nick Gorgolis (LGB Officer), Elliott Simmons (Exec/Societies Officer), Jo Kibble (Committee member,LSE Labour), Sian Errington (Vice Chair, LSE Labour), Dave Cole (Chair of UGM), Graham Copp (Proposer of anti-BNP motion), Harinder Mann (Seconder of anti-BNP motion), Omar Srouji (President, LSESU Friends of Palestine Society), Robert Lanzkron (Secretary, LSESU Jewish Society), Matthew Willgress (Student Assembly Against Racism supporter.) Dear Editor, I very much enjoyed the Anti-Exxon Mobil protest and congratulate everyone who had the courage to find their way into the Exxon offices to stage a brilliant piece of direct action. However, I would like to express my objection to the Socialist Workers' banner reading "One stockbroker is one too many " which was displayed at the vigil. In my view, the Exxon Mobil occupation was an action staged by people in their individual capacities who are deeply concerned about the planned war on Iraq and prepared to take direct action. It was not organised by the Socialist Workers Student Society (SWSS) or by any other organisation, including the Stop the War Coalition. Yet, Tom Whittaker and James Meadway, two leading SWSS members displayed the Socialist Worker banner on the demonstration in front of Exxon Mobil. This was the only banner at the demonstration associated with a formal organisation. In light of this, I have to conclude that they were trying to claim credit for the Exxon occupation on behalf of SWSS. They refused to remove the banner despite the urgings of fellow activists, including myself. I think this issue has to be taken seriously since James and Tom are very active and hard working members of the Stop the War Coalition (STWC). Personally, I have great respect for them both and despite my rejection of their "revolutionary strategies" we have been working very well together for a long time. However, I have heard of people who refuse to join the Stop the War Coalition or attend its meetings because they are afraid that SWSS might use them to further the aims of the SWP by dominating the coalition and/or claiming disproportionate credit for successful Stop the War Coalition events. I would like to point out that the vast majority of Stop the War coalition activists are not from SWSS. Nonetheless, I feel that the STWC must take these concerns serious. Consequently, I have encouraged an open debate about how to resolve this issue within the STWC. One idea which had emerged from this debate is that the STWC should adopt a written code of conduct ensuring that everyone in the STWC respects one another's political affiliations or lack there off. Whatever the solution, I am confident that together we will resolve this issue within the STWC as we have resolved many other issues before. The LSE Stop the War Coalition is one of the greatest, most diverse and broadest movements I have ever been active in and we have made a tremendous impact so far, especially last week. It is based on the principle of equality and mutual respect. Let's ensure it is kept that way. Gregor Hackmack At Marakon, the word 'mindset' is a contradiction in terms Marakon Associates London Office invites penultimate year students to apply for an 8 week Summer Associate Consultant work experience programme Application: CV + cover letter via website www.marakon.com/car_apply.html by February 21st 2003 For further enquiries please contact Emma Sorsky: ukrecruiting@marakon.com ¦ ¦ ... . .......... ..... www.marakon.com strategic management consultants Chicago ? London * New York • San Francisco • Singapore . .....;•-! .,..................... ....... . . . ^ ¦pplllp |S tsmBHm Wk edited by: b. chapman ¦ m.rasheed ROLL THE DICE Whether there should be a war with Iraq is a question of cut feeling, not cold facts, and blair and bush are clearly in a gambling mood, says ADAM QUINN And so it goes on. Last week the American Secretary of State Colin Powell went before the United Nations Security Council to lay out the case for calling the inspectors home and sending in the troops into Iraq. His presentation included satellite photographs and recordings of intercepted Iraqi communications as well as the now customary verbal litany concerning Saddam Hussein's past record. A day later, Tony Blair mounted a charge of his own, facing down Jeremy Paxman and a selected audience of opponents of the war at a less than cosy chat on a special edition of Newsnight. The results of these performances were fairly predictable. People already in favour of a war were confirmed in their resolve. Those against a war in any circumstances were entirely unmoved by Powell's obscure photos and unintentionally comical conversation tapes. The broad mass of the public, at least in the UK, still insisted that they would only feel comfortable with an attack if it were approved by the Security Council, as though the combined agreement of France, Russia and China, the sceptical veto-holding members, were the high-bar for achieving moral purity in this world. Things were left much as they had been, but with the heat of the debate turned up another notch. The more it goes on the more this grinding debate about war reveals that the day-to day content of what is said is increasingly irrelevant. What is taking place between the two sides is a good old-fashioned ideological clash of the kind that politicians mostly try to avoid nowadays. The Bush Administration wants Saddam Hussein gone. Many of the individuals sitting around the National Security Council table have had a long and unpleasant relationship with his regime, and they think the current political climate gives them a rare and temporary window to take the steps necessary to get him out. They view him as a murderer, a warmonger, a fascist and an inveterate liar. This all-consuming despise and distrust means that the relationship between the two countries has completely broken down. There is nothing that Saddam Hussein could say or do at this stage which could possible alter the American position, because the imperative to disbelieve is so strong that no level of co-operation would not be assumed to be a facade behind which darker ends were being pursued. Tony Blair is also appears increasingly convinced of this position. The anti-war movement is, of course, more fractured than the American executive, but it nonetheless has a core whose members share certain beliefs. They agree that Saddam Hussein is most of the things the Bush Administration says he is, but their priorities in terms of protest lie elsewhere. Their intellectual background in this area lies in reading texts which focus on the imperialist tendency in American political thought, and its propensity for producing violence abroad as a political tool (Noam Chomsky and Gore Vidal, to name a couple of American examples). They especially focus on the perceived inconsistency of application of principles such as 'the defence of freedom', an inconsistency which results in violent intervention in some countries regarded as enemies, and passive acceptance of or collusion in repressive policies elsewhere. This group's objection to war in the Iraqi case is part of a broader pattern of objection to all wars on the part of the United States over the past 53 years. This is founded in a belief that the American political process is skewed due to its imperfections towards particular outcomes, and that it produces foreign policy geared towards elite, usually commercial ends (hence the pervasive and painfully simplistic allegation that an invasion of Iraq is 'really all about oil'). Though the United States may be no worse in this regard than other countries, its economic size and political omnipresence, as well as an established tradition of anti-American protest make it an obvious focus for the energies of IMMiltBfHl figmm!!!.!.: ... J IB! atrl IIM 1 i emm the left. In their critique, the names of other countries or institutions, such as France or the UN Security Council, may be cited as things to be listened to and respected when, as at the current time, they are supportive of the 'correct ends'. In other contexts, they can equally well be labelled as corrupt in their own right (not difficult in France's case) or tools of American imperialism. Their real goal is an end, i.e. no war, not procedural rectitude, i.e. a war only if approved by the Security Council. What these two descriptions should make clear is that the two sides approaching this debate over war are coming at it from almost diametrically opposed perspectives. One side sees America as a potential source of good, and often an actual doer of good. The other sees it, short of literal revolution in its system of government, as a perennial source of violence and oppression. One side would regard a post-war Iraq transformed into a representative democracy and a market economy as a total victory for freedom. The other would see it as a selfish expansion of American empire and the creation of a client state. In essence, the reason why they disagree over the current issue of a war in Iraq is because they see the problem that needs to be addressed entirely differently. One side believes that the greatest threat the world faces is rogue states building dangerous weapons to attack the West, and therefore Iraq must me confronted. The other side believes that the greatest threat is American use of force to remodel the world as it wants it to be, and therefore the imperative is to put the US back in its box. Stuck in the middle of all this, Roil the Dice; Running Mad; The Cost of War; Letter from London - Bagpipes and Backtracking; A Country In Crisis; Of Soundbites and Sceptics as usual, is the broader public. Possessed of a less explicit set of ideological baggage and a less detailed historical perspective, they clutch a few facts and a couple of second-hand opinions to themselves for dear life, hoping that no one will press them too hard on their views. It should be unsurprising, in the midst of this ideological battle royal between the American and British right and the worldwide left, that a few photographs and a taped conversation are not going to make the difference of ending objections to the current trajectory towards war. Even if photographs of Saddam Hussein personally polishing a chemical warhead in Baghdad were to be found, that would not settle the issue. Rather it would just lead both sides to refresh their arsenal of arguments and rejoin the fray. A lack of decisive evidence won't stop the US going to war because its government dearly wants one to topple Hussein, and evidence of new misdeeds is just a means to that end. But the anti-war movement have no reason to feel so smugly self-righteous, as their proclaimed support of the UN and the inspections process is also no more than smoke and mirrors. They simply don't want a war under any circumstances, and don't like the American government much either. In the end, when all the self-justificatory banter is through, it will be where most people's intuitive feeling comes down on these issues that will decide their point of view. But whatever anyone else decides, George Bush and Tony Blair have clearly made their call already, and it looks certain they're going to go with their gut. Adam Quinn is B:link Politics Editor. He is a PhD Student at the LSE. beaver ¦±.<4 • f •-*'# **' ? f: .>*«' -V I*.# • * ,»*' V ' -iV *Venezuela>;- » Valencia <«> m'im TIME TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS COUNTRY IN CRISIS by Rodrigo Rodriguez Novas makes it virtually impossible to rely on any organisation. In terms of social damage a red flag must be waved. The As one of the most important countries in the western hemisphere it should be noted that the Venezuelan crisis is an event that deserves close attention and extensive analysis. This crisis was underestimated and not given appropriate importance whilst it escalated to the unprecedented level of chaos that has the country struggling to stay afloat. Estimates reflect that Venezuela is headed for one of the worst crises ever seen in Latin America, much worse than the recent Argentinean slump. Despite the fact that solutions have to be reached domestically the role of international organizations and leaders is vital. When I began to seek opinions and touched on the subject with members of the LSE community and other respectable institutions which are well known for their rep-u t a t i o n , extensive knowledge and intellectual talents; I was astonished and highly disappointed by their lack of accurate information. They have clearly joined the extensive list of victims that Mr. Chavez's misinformation campaign has generated. It is hard to believe that his efforts have even fooled the international community, the most eminent news agencies and the brightest world talents. Once members of these spheres fall for the misinformation game that the Venezuelan government is playing very little hope is left. At this point the reputation, knowledge and intellectual ability that these institutions poses become insignificant, useless and in some cases an aggravating component to the crisis. The international media becomes the intermediary channel and in some instances accomplices of Chavez's dishonest and deplorable messages of propaganda and unreliable data which fool people and eternally treat them as ignorant while taking advantage of unjustified and by now minimal support. It amazes me to this day how international news agencies of the calibre of the BBC, the Financial Times and many others continue to deliver misleading and erroneous information to the readers and the international communities. Given their sloppy and biased labour it is not surprising; that even the brightest and best educat- ed individuals, including some of our very own LSE brains become mediocre. The international media is a double edged sword that up to now has done nothing but deepen the wounds that Venezuela bears. We must understand that the crisis that Venezuela is experiencing has galloped beyond the political arena. What started as an opposition movement that aimed to prevent Chavez from installing his Castro-communist dictatorship has turned into a massive coalition for which support exceeds eighty percent of the population. Regardless of social class, ethnic origins, religious affiliation, or political views this vast majority, that extends its arms across the world and has a voice wherever there is Venezuelan presence is just ask- incompetent, corrupt, autocratic, authoritarian, and violent government ever seen in contemporary Venezuelan history has been frustrated by the authority of the president, who has violated over 50 articles of the Bolivarian constitution that he carefully customized as he pleased. As a result an additional factor has exacerbated the turmoil. The involvement of personal feelings and raging passions to the conflict from both sides has slowed down the negotiations and raised several secondary conflicts. It is understandable that virtually every citizen has been directly affected by now, however, it does not justify the fury, anger, and blindness which dominates most of their actions and that only delays the reach of a resolution. Consequently, severe damage has been done to the country. In economic terms a twenty percent contraction in GDP is estimated for the first quarter of the ongoing year, over seventy five percent of the population live below the poverty line while inflation and unemployment are at record highs. Capital controls have been implemented to prevent the Bolivar from further depreciating, after a substantial devaluation in the first two weeks of the year. The institutional framework has been undermined and violated constantly. Credibility and transparency are two terms that disappeared from contemporary Venezuelan institutions which government has armed the Bolivarian circles and created urban guerrillas as support groups, in addition there is evidence that the president has infiltrated terrorist and guerrilla groups into the country. To disarm these people and to prevent bloodshed is imperative. Atlantic Ocean TRSNiOAD & TOBAGO > O n one side the government's desperate actions to remain in power and continue its "immiserizing revolution" and on the other side a remarkable opposition that has been blinded by passions and skipped over the economics and politics of the crisis as they struggle to prevent the government atrocities. As a result, the dent that has been created over the last four years of Chavez's mandate has been deepened by the opposition's actions, specifically the general strike that has reached 70 days (as of 9/2/03). Unfortunately, Venezuela is set for a couple of years of arduous reconstruction efforts and extensive restructuring at all levels; political, social, and economic. The current crisis needs to be treated with cold blooded thinking, carried out by intellectual, professional, open minded and problem solving oriented individuals. I would encourage anyone interested in the subject to seek accurate, realistic and trustworthy sources of information. Secondly, I suggest that hearts are left where they belong and to think outside of the box, to ignore passions and open up to constructive and responsible dialogue. This would be a good start that everyone can be a part of in order to create solutions and move on from the non sense raging debates that have been taking place up to now. This is the only way to assure that a rational solution is achieved and that effective and efficient policies are implemented gearing the country into a fresh path of positive development. This is Rodrigo Rodriguez Novas' first article for B:Link. ing for a peaceful solution to start rebuilding what is left of the country and forge a bright future for our youngest generations. Unfortunately our current government is not interested in a prosperous country. It is no longer a debate between the political left and right political. Ideologies and models have been surpassed taking this issue into a higher level of complexity and ambiguity. Such a civil movement had never been seen before, over one and a half million people collapsing the major highways of Caracas, the collection of over 2.2 million signatures asking for a consultive referendum, demonstrations in over thirty countries, the death of dozens of people and hundreds of wounded men, women, children, and elder citizens have been insufficient to make the government realise that it has lost the popular support that four years ago elected it. The call for pacific solution and a democratic end to the most beaver jgggejyhirtgErj E3 OF SOUNDBITES AND SCEPTICS by Elena Ceorciou On the 5th of February US Secretary of State, Colin Powell, gave a speech to the UN Security Council, presenting evidence against Saddam Hussein and urging the members to support military action to disarm Iraq. The speech itself was long and mostly of a technical nature. In this era of mass media even the smallest matters can raise hell, so when it comes to a fullblown attack on Iraq by the world's superpower, it is hardly surprising that the capacity for people's susceptibility to emotional appeals has been exhausted, after months of controversy. Yet, obviously neglecting to take that into account, Powell's detailed analysis proved to be nothing other than that. Despite the 'scientific' approach to the question of war, there seemed to be a chasm between Washington's circumstantial evidence and convincing indisputable proof. It is unfortunate that Powell chose to fill that gap with the usual scare tactics of warmongers. To site just one example of the sound bites in the report: "The nexus of poisons and terror is new. The nexus of Iraq and terror is old. The combination is lethal." The pointing of fingers, the hyperboles and long rhetorical questions reduced his speech to demagogy. In this way Powell made himself seem patronizing in his approach. Hence the derogatory response of a number of international newspapers. The Russian news website Pravda.ru condemned the report with the following statement: "The international community is not a class of primary school pupils to be lectured in this way by an incompe-t e n t teacher." Similarly, Le Figaro jumped at the opportunity to ridicule Powell's account, expressing that a jot the view "American 'leadership' cares not for differences of opinion." Der Tagesspiegel, on the other hand, presented a more tempered argument against it, by pointing out the fact that he failed to address the question of why a war is necessary, or indeed as Washington claims, 'inevitable'. In gen- eral, reception of the speech by the international media (excluding American media) was, at best, lukewarm. I must admit, even solid evidence might have failed to convince those who have already made up their minds against any sort of military action being taken. However, by neglecting to address even mild anti-war sentiment, Washington can only alienate European public opinion even further. Presenting evidence that is backed by hollow conviction undermines people's intelligence to weigh the situation in light of this evidence themselves. Moreover, it undermines the validity of the actual evidence by not allowing the alleged strength of proof to stand alone to judgement. This is precisely the reason why the response of the media was itself biased. The majority relied on their own convictions in their assessment of the analysis. The range of commentary, from ridicule to praise, was hardly surprising, as the former originated mostly from the vehemently anti-war French and the latter from the unquestioning Americans. If Powell's analysis had relied on facts alone, then it would have had to be judged solely on the strength of proof. Unfortunately, his approach invited the sort of criticism that I have cited above, and the opportunity to have the matter addressed responsibly and with an openness of mind was squandered. It must be said, that to many skeptical observers, the fact that the speech had to be supported by insubstantial soundbites suggests that Washington's evidence would have failed to convince otherwise. There is nothing more credible than a string of verified facts. Hard evidence cannot be rejected by anyone; yet, rhetoric can. When the two are put together in the hope of one reinforcing the other, albeit the danger of alienating those not susceptible to the latter, it can only mean that neither the proof nor the arguments are strong enough to support the cause they advocate. In my eyes, together they fall. ELLIOT'S ROAMING SOCIETIES LISTINGS SOCIETIES PARTY There are still timeslots available for societies to perform at the Rag Week Societies Party on Monday 24/02/03. This event is being held to help raise money for the charities chosen by the SU. Last year's event was a tremendous success and hopefully this one will be even better. The object of the Societies Party is to highlight the talents of various SU Societies. For instance, last year featured live music, juggling and break dancing. If your Society would like to get involved, please contact me ASAP at E.C.Simmons@lse.ac.uk giving me an idea of what you plan to put on and how long your show will last. POETRY - SCREENING OF SCHADENFREUDE AND Q & A WITH THE DIREC- , DATE: Thursday, February 13 LOCATION: E171 (New Theatre) TIME: 17:20 COST: Free .Voted abstract picture of the Steel Film Festival 1999; winner of the 45th annual Pennsylvanian Film Festival for shorts. This film analyzes the thought of one being versus another during times of sex, mutilation and church. Schadenfreude's lewdness and controversy has caused numerous threats and even an eviction notice for Eric Harmon. This film first released in 1999 from US award-winning independent filmmaker Eric Harmon is showing for the first time at the LSE with special group Q&A with Eric Harmon; an absolute treat for any film enthusiast. LISH!) TURKISH - MOVIE NIGHT "VIZONTELE'7'TELEVISION" (SUBTITLES IN ENG- DATE: Thursday, 13th February LOCATION: D702 TIME: 18.30 COST: Free Set in a beautiful landscape and tucked away from the rest of civilisation where the only entertainment the locals have is an open-air cincma; 'Vizontele is a tale of how technological advancement finally arrives to an isolated city in the form of a new Television set. Part comedy, part tragedy 'Vizontele' focus's on a power struggle between a minority of people whose desire for change is marred by the more conservative members of the community. 'Vizontele' also begs the question of what Television means to the people in terms of bringing the outside world closer to their every day lives... RUSSIAN - ST. VALETINE'S PARTY DATE: Saturday, 15th February TIME: 20:00 - 02:30 LOCATION: The Millennium Club (167 Drury Lane, Holborn) COST: £5 before 22:00, £7 after THAI SOCIETY - MONRAK SAWANDEANDIN : THAI NIGHT DATE: Tuesday, February 18th, 2003 LOCATION: The Quad (dinner); Old Theatre (show) TIME: ^OO^O:^ (dinner); 20:30-22:00 (show) COST: £8 in advance; £10 at the door, dinner and show included All-you-can-eat Thai buffet in the Quad followed by "Monrak Sawandeandin" - a romantic tale set in a countryside village of Thailand - in the Old Theatre. Following an arrival of a new (and stunning) teacher, two men battle for the heart of one girl - will Chai or Sia Haew win her heart? Find out on Tuesday 18th! Tickets will be sold from week 5 on Houghton Street. There is also a limited amount of traditional gifts to be given away on the night! To advertise your Society in the 'Societies Page' in The Beaver, the 'Global Email' or the News Section of the SU Website please email Elliot Simmons -the SU Societies Officer- at E.C.Simmons@lse.ac.uk by the Thursday before the paper / global email you wish to advertise in is published. Please send adverts in the format of those above. 4 X Get in touch with b:art at beaverart@hotmail.com. :art top ten This weeks top ten has been sent in by the delectable Sarah Taylor, who has compiled her top ten Glaswegian albums of all time. Sadly'Glasgee Kiss' by 'the Buckfast Bastards' doesn't make an appearence. one of the main reasons being that I made it up in a pisspoor attempt at Glaswegian satire. nolan s arty fringe Valentine's week dawns upon us once again, and even my usual 'the postman will have to get an extra sack for all my cards' joke is wearing somewhat thin with my house mates. No, all I'm expecting is the usual dose of pisstak-ing hoax cards and text messages, another 'kin e-mail from someonelikesyou.com and a reassuring phone call from me Mum. Still it could be worse. I could be living in Iraq, and I doubt even their culture thinks that cruise missiles are in anyway a gesture of romance. This week in b:art we have Mike Burn giving away string vests in music; 'erotic' Eleanor Keech previewing this years hot pictures in film; Tom 'mucky business' Miskin telling us where to go for sex on Valentine's day, in clubbing; 'Delicious' Dalia King with her book things in lit; Finally there is Keith 'abitofslapandtickle' Postler and Dani 'anicefumbleoutsidecrush' Ismail with a student special in theatre. So for all those without a date on Friday; for all those who will drive themselves to new depths of humiliation at Crush this week; for all those have loved and lost recently and will be spending the night in watching Rom-coms, whilst crying into their cocoa; this weeks b:art is dedicated to you. Spread the love. The Red Thread 2000 Arab Strap More solid Scottish Guitar Army fare, with particularly insidiously catchy melodies and a filmic atmosphere. Post-coital rather than post-clubbing. Peloton 1998 The Delgados Another charming offering from the indie mafia, without the stand out tracks that makes The Great Eastern...great. That said, 'Pull the wires from the wall' was top of John Peel's festive 50 in the year of its release. 4766 seconds 2003 Teenage Fanclub Like the Delgados, the Fannies are not adverse to great big fat choruses, alongside their own brand of whimsicality, contrasted to the Delgados' dark side. Fold your hands child, you walk like a peasant 2000 Belle and Sebastian Named after some graffiti found in a Glasgow University toilet - take it from me, we were lucky. Songs for polar bears 2000 Snow Patrol Yes I know the lead singer's from Belfast. Why this chronically underrated four-piece haven't received the same attention and built up an adoring fan base like their label mates Belle and Sebastian is a mystery. Exterminator 2000 Primal Scream Maybe not one for members of the Business Society or Belle and Sebastian, this uncompromising, anti-establishment album will wake you up for 9 o'clocks better than a whole pack of Pro Plus. Come on die young 1999 Mogwai Another Deserter's Songs connection here - David Fridmann produced both. Not 'just noise' as some complain, detractors merely have no patience or indeed taste. Philophobia jSjjSf 1998 ^ marmam Arab Strap Perfectly comedown, with a healthy dose of smut: "It was the biggest cock you'd ever seen..." The Great Eastern 2000 The Delgados "Challenges The Flaming Lips' Soft Bulletin and Mercury Rev's Deserter's Songs for breadth of palette, imagination and emotional impact." -Q.The album easily beats them on the classic 'Thirteen Gliding Principles', however, which was criminally never released as a single. Emma Pollock and Alun Woodward's often haunting vocals, though criticised as 'weedy', provide a contrast to brass, piano and/or full orchestra. The quartet, owners of the successful and influential Chemikal Underground label, are credited with giving voice to a generation of Glasgow bands. See 'Out of our heads on skelp' for an introduction - it's only A£3.50. Rock Action 2001 Mogwai Don't let the name fool you - this is no Guerrilla or Exterminator. Though the 'Gwai's political ambitions extend only to mocking Blur, their four guitar aural assault should leave you as riled up as James Meadway if he misses his afternoon nap. WHERE TO FIND THE FUNK THIS WEEK A Valentines clubbing special for all those lonely hearts and horny people. First up this week on the quest for aPthmgs nice on Old Street (nearest tube is Old Street, exit 7) and naughty is TRAFFIK bar in Hoxton. For those Traffik is the warm up bar du jour but for those of that don't know Traffik has carved itself out some- you with weaker constitutions could easily represent thing of a niche in the vastly oversaturated a night out all of its own. For the students bar/club market in Hoxton. Combining you we".wortfl checking is those elusive ingredients of intimacy "a BeaverTeam tried and tested without being cramped and a fine *^S^night that runs on the first music policy which manages to be ^B^Wednesday of every mofith cutting edge yet accessible (and jip ^^and has cheap drinks and decidedly mullet-free, something J|P\ iwlkquality Djs (and its'free in of an achievement in ? j^wou mean fuckers!) and for people, well ™ I vS^^^^^^^Bney're ready MEANOURS h(I( 11 ti p Ion THE END Which I etc,) Best night to B , go down to strut m mr your stuff has to be the 20th for on fr what will no doubt _ms0pa freezing L ^^000^rebwary evening, dishing out the tunes essential to bringing a warm fuzzy glow to your inner cockles. This should be something of a special night as the man Carter is launching his new label "Saville Row" so expect music industry bods to be out in force but don't let this put you off as Carter will be ably assissted by Dave Chamber and that man from oop North, Tim Sheridan. Expect the usual early morning shenanigans that anyone who's previously visited the End will be all too familiar with and most importantly. don't forget to *z%, wear a smile 'cos we all like a nice smile. Unless you've got shit teeth, in which case, stay at home and save us all the pain.And get a good dentist. else has failed then get ttfr-V ' yourself down to CARGO (Rivington I Street) on the 15th of February J; where resident Dj rollercone (no idea Bp either) will be laying down the best in deep and funky house sounds, aided and abetted by Parisian DJs Missive- Mister J will be playing a dj set to get you in that lovin' mood whilst Jerry the Cat (look- they're French, how are we supposed to know?) will be throwing out the best in tech-house percussion whilst Sylvain takes on some ambient tootlings on his lovely trumpet. Given that this night is at Cargo you can rest assured that there will be some extremely gorgeous people lounging - around but probably best to go if you fancy discussing the viability „__ of a postfrenchsick-punkretroarsewipe revival. If not, get your best mullet wig and go * 0 c T3 'F c E ro & >•> w led) "o g 0 .£ o (/) The Mountain Goats MIKEBURN on John Darnielle and the Mountain Goats, MRRBHi /L u t 's TALLAHASSEE 1 s i rf : ,-y I Left: John Darnielle Above: Tallahassee (4ad) mm . -- r;- ^ . John Darnielle is the Mountain Goats. He is a phenomenally ordinary looking person but his songs uniquely possess both a comedy and sorrow. His fans are actually fanatical. Intimate knowledge of lyrics is the true measure of the Mountain Goats aficionado. There seems to be something indefinable yet so very pertinent about Mountain Goats songs which certain people of a particular generational mindset can completely engage with. Darnielie's subject matter is the hub of the American Generation X problematic: divorce, consumer frustration and highly strung arguments feature prominently. His recent album Tallahassee on the legendary 4ad label was the climax of the relationship between his fictional couple who are permanently transfixed by and, in the cusp of divorce. Darnielle spent his youth listening to bands like the Sisters of Mercy and writing songs in his bedroom. This is reflected by a certain darkness in his songs, albeit in the form of a wise pessimism. Despite this darkness his songs are life affirming which is ultimately why his fans obsess so intensely. Darnielle is a craftsman who works with his voice and his guitar but more than that he uses his head. He has a very clear work ethic and his song production is remarkable. His song catalogue is in the high hundreds he claims that songwriting is 'not like building houses' and he doesn't understand artist who produce a set of songs every couple of years. Darnielle is so embedded in the social he cannot help but react to it through the medium of song. Certain songs are evidently satirical others are about certain moments, fictional characters in real situations. Mountain Goats albums are so literary they seem like novels. John Darnielle influenced by literature as much as music is conscious of creating this when he writes. This gives the tracks, not so much on their own but as a body of work, a massive depth. Characters reoccur, certain themes and motifs are prominent and the listener, like a reader, becomes highly involved and can profess a level of intimacy which most songwriters who obsess over purely metaphysical concerns cannot deliver. The Mountain Goats' aesthetic is a highly appealing one, far removed from the nastiness and crudity of superficial pop music. Darnielle's songs have depth and raw emotion which make his records some of the most vital you're likely to hear. www.themountaingoats.net www.4ad.com singles MISS MACHINE ALL AMERICAN GIRL DProduced by Gordon Raphael, the man responsible for The Strokes' 'Is This It?' , Miss Machine are yet another band in the vein of the Von Bondies et al. With a female singer whose voice is much akin to Karen 0 of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the band are mildly impressive, thanks mostly to their killer guitar parts. However, in all honesty, owing to the onslaught of garage rock, to make them worthy of serious praise, Miss Machine will need to be a little less stereotypical and a LOT more exciting. JAZMINBURGESS JAKATTA ONE FINE DAY One of Ministry's 'chill out' records. To be perfectly honest, this record is so dull that there isn't that much to say about it. To its credit, it's definitely functional-because the pace is slow and mellow that it's undoubtedly going to 'chill you out'. However there are a lot better mellow bands out there, such as some of the better stuff on Chemikal Underground, that do what Jakarta do with much more style and individuality JAZMINBURGESS KINGS QF LEON HOLY ROLLER NOVOCAINE EP Kings of Leon are one of the few new NME-patronized bands around the moment who are actually deserving of they hype. Sounding like a hybrid of alt-country bands such as Lambchop and garage rock-esque guitars White Stripes stylee, Kings of Leon are one of those few bands that manage to fuse various sounds into a unique and interesting mix. JAZMINBURGESS GUTTERMOUTH SCHOLARSHIP IN PUNK Infamous for their onetime single 'She's Got the Look', Guttermouth are back with a new album and new single. 'Scholarship in Punk' is a pretty predictable affair, with NOFX-esque guitars and vocals. But it's a pleasant tongue-in-cheek tune that's cheerful and frenetic enough to make it endearing to most. Although Epitaph have recently been busy signing bands such as Ikara Colt, its reassuring to know that they've retained bands like Guttermouth, who are evidently good at what they do and who will doubtless keep the punk crowd happy. IDLEWILD A MODERN WAY OF LETTING GO Against the grain of all my ignorantly formed pre-conceptions I find that I actually really like this little ditty. The riff packs punch and has a palpable inertia to it supplied by some rolling drumwork. Some energetic lead phrasing underlines Roddy Woombie's spirited vocals. The chorus is catchy. The drums have me tapping my feet. I've found myself singing the little "If know what I know....." section and listening to a friend's copy of The Remote Part [the album from which this little pop-rock-punk gem comes]. And I'm a stubborn bastard who really isn't that receptive to anything. The thing I like about Idlewild here is that, unlike most current bands, they seem to understand that even if your song is only two and a half minutes long you still need more than one kewl musical idea. This has a powerful riff, a dynamic chorus structure and a nice punchy bridge section. IBRASHEED BEVERLY KNIGHT SHAPE OF YOU (FEAT. HOLLYWOOD) Did they actually let Hollywood feature on this record? Or did he slip unnoticed in the back door, make a few annoying interruptions then make a discrete exit? Hollywood's presence aside, thanks to Beverly's fantastic voice, this is a good soulful record; far superior to much of the R&B (rubbish and bland) prevalent in today's charts. NEILGARRETT single of the week PLACEBO THE BITTER END I thought Placebo had curled up in a corner and died without so much as a mute whimper. The Bitter End suggests, shockingly, that they didn't do humanity this favour. As much as I loathe .greasy goon Molko, I'm prepared to go on record and concede that in a punky/pop resiliant kind of a way, this rocks. NEILGARRETT J 8 I JAZMINBURGESS b:music competition time! !!!! win a sean paul vest!!!! we have 3 incredibly fashionable SGdfl paul vests to give away. much more classy than a rab c nesbitt to win just send an email to m.r.burn@lse.ac.uk answering the following question: -' '*£Ill 1] sean paul's recent single is called: a) gimme the light a sean paul a vest tfi W2 cloe am here whe« yoy jStcpw»tf< CLUE TO KALO COME HERE WHEN YOU SLEEPWALK Adelaide's Mark Mitchell's artist debut as Clue to Kalo is a luscious sourtdscape of hazy electronics and twisted organic elements. The second track emerges from a wistful opening of drifting ethereal noises. 'Empty Save the Oxygen' with Mitchefi's typically lo-fi, understated vocal is entirely engaging. This album is an adventure into the electronic sphere but with the application of an essence of something more traditional. In the sense that Boards of Canada are essentially a folk outfit so are Ciue to Kalo. Clue to Kalo are not occupied with the traditions and bindings of the formulaic; for Mitchell it seems, genre is more about ideology than preconceptions derived from pigeonholing. A fundamental problem with this record is that on occasions it drifts so widely that it loses its focus. The vocal tracks are sublime in their subtlety. The instrumentals are slightly indulgent but nonetheless engaging. The Leaf label is one of the most intriguing releasing records at the moment and with this release they have added to their repertoire considerably. This is sleepy music, not for a party but for drifting to an otherworldly place. Tracks are layered immensely and they playfully entertain the ears. 'Come Here When You Sleepwalk' is a record of the understated for the understated, (7) HELL IS FOR HEROES NEON HANDSHAKE Since formed from the ashes of Symposium in late 2000 this band have been plugging away in dingy clubs in dodgy towns. Their reputation as an exciting and slick live act has grown, and deservedly so. The question was whether the promise they showed on stage would translate into an album that developed their sound in a way they could be proud of. The track listing may seem famil-¦iar and indeed 5 of the tracks have already been released as singles. The two tracks from their debut double A-side on Superior Quality Recordings, 'Cut Down' and 'Sick/Happy' make it onto the ;album despite being several years old. But what ensures that these songs don't seem stale is the production of the record, undertaken by Pelle Henricsson and Eskil Lovstrom of 'Refused' fame. Live favorites 'Three of Clubs' and 'Five Kids Go' have been given more depth whilst retaining the rawness that is so vital to the band's sound. 'Slow Song' and 'Disconnector' in amongst songs dominated by powerful riffs show that the band's sound is maturing but still brimming with pure noise and emotion. Overall the perfect album to make you want to get up every morning and grab it by the scruff of the neck. Hell is for Heroes compete in an arena that has traditionally been dominated by US bands, but do so without sounding like a lame imitation. Yes, they may be signed to a major label with serious money behind them, but so what. One thing is for sure, they know how to rock and that's all that matters. (8) LONGWAVE STRANGEST THINGS Wakey wakey guys. This is pretty uninspiring stuff. Longwave are relatively unheard of here in the UK but recently supported the Strokes and at times sound like a knackered version of them. As hard as it might be to imagine a band so spectacularly unremarkable, this is them. I'd suggest the following things. 1) Get a new singer - not only does Longwave front man sound disturbingly like Shed Seven's Rick Witter, he also sounds like he can't be arsed and who needs a singer with no commitment? 2) Expand your chord knowledge, the 4 chord a song thing can get tedious especially when you do it on every song using the same 4 chords. 3) Cut out those shitty little feeble electronic noises. You might think your "getting all experimental", but it just sounds naff. This is not Kid A. 4) Sing about something that matters and try and sound like it does. Don't groan under your stinking dog breath as if your greatest aspiration in life is to get home without being mugged. Towards the end of this album, there were hints that Longwave are a better band then they demonstrate in the main here. "Exit" is a strong upbeat catchy track, sounding rather like a coherent Idlewild. "Day Sleeper", the albums final instrumental track, is eerily atmospheric and I was surprised that something with as much depth as this was amongst such drivel. It's really a case of too little to late however for a band who could not be more far removed from the strangest of things. MIKEBURN AMELIAHUTCHISON NEILGARRETT ED HARCOURT FROM EVERY SPHERE Ed Harcourt lives in a crazy crazy world. Apparently Ed used to be a bee keeper but then moved onto the even more salubrious job of cracking a whip for some insane pump-organ playing circus clown. Thankfully he turned his hand to writing ditties. This is his second full length album and he still seems to be living in a place halfway between his warped reality and a dream land. 'From Every Sphere' is even more imaginative than his last album, and he has put a whole host of new instruments to good use. This has helped him to vary the successful formula of mixing rousing yet gentle piano based melodies he developed on 'Here Be Monsters'. The results are sometimes a little surprising, but they work. 'Ghostwriter' for example starts with some one bashing what sounds like a sauce pan, then a Santana-like guitar riff erupts, and the track continues in this vein, a salsa-clash concoction hard to describe. In amongst this there are tracks that are more piano orientated, 'The Birds Will Sing for Us' is a great example of his bittersweet pop-sensibilities. 'Watching The Sun Come Up', should definitely be Harcourt's finger-clicking, uplifting summer single.The most beautiful tracks are where Harcourt manages to capture the fairy tale land he dreams of: touching lyrics prove though that he is singing from the heart and not drawing from the imaginary. Some people have touted Ed Harcourt to be this year's David Gray. There could never be a worse comparison for a man that oozes charisma to be seen next to such a life-less crooner. Ed's advice is to listen to the songs when drunk, sober, happy or sad- and they will make sense. My advice is just to make sure you do listen to them." (8) AMELIAHUTCHISON SIMPLE PLAN NO PADS, NO HELMETS..JUST BALLS Someone really should imprison Blink 182. Because with their brand of infectious but annoying punk pop, they have spawned a. monster. How? By inspiring hoards of new bands who have taken Blink's word as gospel and use it as the framework for their own sound. And it's in this chaos Simple Plan and their debut album'IMo Pads, No Helmets.Just Balls' sit perfectly. It's not that 'No Pads, No Helmets.Just Balls' is a bad album, but it's just not particularly original either. It's good for what it is: twelve upbeat non-offensive punk pop. Moreover, songs like opener 'I'd Do Anything' are pretty loveable and hyperactive enough to make you smile and most probably sing a long. And, they definitely have to be applauded for the kick ass Van Halen-esque riff on'Addicted', However, it's just a sad fact that at the end of the day Simple Plan are more a parody of their genre than an exciting new band. 'No Pads, No Helmets,.Just Balls' may be a tolerable album, but it doesn't have anything unique or individual going for it. In fact, it proves that when it comes to this cumbersome 'punk pop' genre, bands such as New Found Glory and the brilliant Movieiife are miles ahead of the rest of them. The fact that 'Blink 182, Good Charlotte and Sum 41' are the first three bands that Simple Plan thank in the sleeve sums up this album perfectly. Because with 'No Pads, No Helmets..Just balls' the band are on a fast track to easily co-exist amongst these bands. More importantly however, they also demonstrate that in the alternative scene, this punk pop phenomenon is becoming quickly exhausted and that the better 'new' bands are more likely to be found in the emo, post-hardcore and emo-core genres. (6) JAZMINBURGESS Massive Attack lOOth Window reviewed by MIKEBURN 5 years after the mammoth success of Mezzanine Massive Attack return with an album which extends further the group's reputation as masters of dark, brooding electronic pop. The band certainly deserves much credit for a relatively important paradigm shift in dance music and bringing a dark twist to pop. Emerging from Bristol with sound system roots the band soon developed a sound which would later define a movement. Trip hop was, however, the first of many subsequent made up genres which never had any basis in anything substantial. The music however, has helped to shape all of today's music which is more occupied with the downbeat and chilled. 100th Window is not by any measure as monumental as their previous albums which were each landmarks in their own right. It is instead a continuation of Mezzanine which is slightly ill-advised given their capacity to invent and reinvent. The tracks are predictably broody and carry some vague earth concern. Longtime collaborator Horace Andy crops up and sounds more vocally defined than ever. But the substance of Mezzanine is not present here. The tracks work like the soundtracks to anti-terror information films; Sinead O'Connor vocals are haunting and maintain the band's obsession with shrill ethereal female singers from the 80s, although her relationship with the band seems slightly more ephemeral and career orientated than say with that of Liz Fraser. The closing track of the album is like all the tracks here, irritatingly long. The exposition of Massive Attack seems to have lost some coherency; perhaps the pop skeletons of old have been replaced with seriousness to reflect the political climate which the band detests but this album although highly listenable, lacks the ingenuity and intensity of old. mr t's opinions on 2003: the opinionated snob is back! 2003; two years after the Odyssey made contact with the monolith in the orbit of Saturn (in this case the film was better than the book) and at the peak of human civilisation we can look forward to a year of films that are going to dazzle the senses and stimulate the mind... at least I hope so. It could be my old age but films seem to be getting worse year upon year, for me cinema has been downhill since 1999; Magnolia, Three Kings, The Insider, Fight Club, Eyes Wide Shut, Matrix et al. There are some promising prospects on the horizon and the year kicked off to a good start with Russian Ark and City of God. There will always be films to avoid, Dumb and Dumberer being one that springs to mind. But rather than dwelling on the swill that will no doubt be churned out by lazy executives sitting in their ivory towers lets try and keep our spirits up and begin with the good. There will be plenty of time for the bad and even more for the ugly. X-Men 2: "We are the future Charles, not them. They no longer matter". Whilst some schools boast ex-prime ministers or law lords as old boys I can say with pride that Gandalf went to my school! So hah! Magneto inevitably escapes from his plastic prison and Wolverine gets to kick ass again. The only way this film is going to be a disappointment is with Patrick Stewart screaming tech support whilst waking from a coma. I was hoping that Gambit would be the next member of the mutant team to make an appearance but the powers that be decided to choose a blue elfish character who can transport at will. Well the franchise screams of sequels so here's hoping they don't piss it away like they did with Batman. They wouldn't want to make me angry, oh no you wouldn't like me when I am angry... arrrrgghhhhh. Which brings me onto my next film. The Hulk: I never watched the TV series and I was never much of a comic book fan but with Ang Lee at the helm and starring the delicious Jennifer Connelly (what is it with me and brunettes?) how can it not be good? The film has been marred with delays and rumours of it not living up to the hype. Well that's a bloody surprise, once again we could be holding our breath for a Godzilla. The teaser, that's been on the net for what seems like months now, doesn't let us see the green stallion in his full (steroid induced) glory. Let's just hope it's not Arnold Schwarzenegger with green body paint. Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions: The Wachowski brothers have a lot to live up to and from what I have heard it seems like they will deliver. I'm more optimistic about Reloaded (released Spring) than Revolutions (released Summer) since i found the stuff involving the human race living like tramps... well pretty crap. But here's hoping there are more stupendously choreographed fight scenes and lots of carnage. I remember seeing the lobby scene for the first time and literally having my jaw hit the floor and smack the guy sitting next to me. Never before has such wanton destruction and murder been more appealing, it was almost enough for me to go out buy a trench coat, guns (lots of guns) and go on a killing spree. But alas the better angels in my head shouted down my bloodlust, but it was a close call; a little too close perhaps. Everyone now has heard the rumour that one 17 min scene cost $40 million alone! Robert Altman could make two films for that and have change for candy and hookers. Oh, did I mention the films, one of them at least, features Monica Bellucci? Hubba Hubba... can someone get me a glass of water? Anger Management "The price is wrong, bitch!" Adam "still-in-goof-mode" Sandler teams up with Jack " i s-th i s-what-my-ca reer-has-come-to?" Nicholson for Anger Management. You can bet your ass this film is going to rock. Sandler has been swinging and missing since The Wedding Singer but hopefully he'll be back on form with this. The trailer sets the tone ("what is it with you people?" black guy: "you people?" Sandler "I didn't mean you people I meant you people"). I'm going to Kill Bill, well, not so much me as Uma Thurman under the big chinned direction of Tarantino. Touted as his fourth film, not sure why that's such a good thing, the number four has never been too lucky for me (it means death in Chinese), the film should satisfy the slasher-fan in me. Shot in the style of classic Hong Kong kung-fu films and of course containing the mandatory 'shot from a car boot' it should appease Tarantino fans after the lack lustre Jackie Brown. Uma hasn't graced us with her presence for a while here's hoping her return isn't accompanied by a damp Chinese condom filled with fake blood. (These references are really coming in from obscura, kudos to those who know what I'm talking about because I don't.) But films aren't just about pleasuring the senses, some are designed to stimulate the mind. Solaris has been pah pahed by the American critics and audiences but I'm still curious how good or Soderbergh is going to pull off remaking arguably the most spiritual sci-fi film ever made. And I just can't wait til! I see Gorgeous m George™ parade his bare butt on screen. Spike Jonze teams up with his Malkovich brotherin Charlie Kaufman for Adaptation. Not sure what's going on but I bet it bears little resemblance to the trailer. Something about an author who's trying to live up to his idealised characters life, I'm trying not to read too much about it so I can enjoy it virginal style at the cinema. It will probably be lost somewhere between Revolutions and Harry Potter and the blah blah blah but all serious moon watchers (I'm going to need a bigger tree) should keep their eyes open for this one. Why haven't I mentioned Return of the King you may ask? Well the answer simple, i was mildly entertained by the Fellowship but The Two Towers reeked of amateurish weed pulled out of a hobbits arse. Too harsh you may say, well try reading the book and then watch the film. Never a fan of Tolkien (The Hobbit was alright) the films demonstrated just how random his books were. The only thing that kept me from putting the book down was the promise that it would be great once everything comes together at the end. (The question of the third elfish ring kept me guessing in a geekish way). He does have one redeeming feature - he may just have hated socialists more than me. So no Return on the King (I'll still watch it, I'm weak that way and I loathe myself for it), Spiderman 2 (ditto), or Terminator 3 (time to retire with grace Schwarzenegger, maybe come back for Crown of Iron but that's it.) As always comments to terance_li@yahoo.co.uk if you feel so inspired to write a reply. •i S. Terance can get angry and green from time to time The Hours IONMARTEA: Philosophising on time Director: Stephen Daldry Starring: Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, Miranda Richardson, Toni Coiiette, Claire Danes, Ed Harris, Allison Janney Running Time: 114 mins Certificate: 12A Release Date: 14th February_ The most complex film since Pulp Fiction and Howards End is to be realised across UK on Valentine's Day. The Hours, directed by Billy Elliot's Stephen Daldry, and based on the Pulitzer-winning novel by Michael Cunningham adapted by David Hare, is an epic about life, just as it is: rough, trivial, passionate; above all it is a masterful atomisation of the day-to-day life of an ordinary woman. The action, or better said the lack of action, is concentrated in one single day of three women, "and in that day [their] whole life". Virginia Woolf {Nicole Kidman), battling insanity, starts writing in thg^arty 1920s her highly acclaimed novel. Mrs. Dalloway, while "avoiding life" in Richmond. Laura Brown (Julianne Moore), in Los Angeles, starts reading the same book that is to affect her perfect family life in early 1950s. So we reach a climax, when Clarissa Vaughan (Meryl Streep) is to give life to Mrs. Dalloway in 2001 in New York. Atl the three stories come to be intertwined in Richard Brown (Ed Harris), a brilliant poet dying of AIDS, who is to become the victim of Virginia's novel, Laura's abandoned son, and the disillusionment in love, but also the peak of happiness, in Clarissa's "meaningless" life. The Hours is a film that is to disappoint anyone looking for entertainment while going to the cinema. There is little, almost, nothing in it, which would allude to a story. Nevertheless, |he film contains one of the most powegfot and poetic plots second maybe only jo Kazan's A Streetcar Named Desire %sr?! The Great J exquisitely the Woolf's universe, full of ordinary characters, though all perfec-! tionist in their triviality. This led to the creation of a very real picture of humanity in a never-changing time. The main reason, though, why this pic-ture is to remain a classic in the cinema history is the flawless female performances. If Mrs. Dalloway represented the step from a good to a great writer for Woolf, then The Hours is the membership ticket into the all-time top actresses league for f Nicole Kidman, who man- /' ages to freeze motion J with each gesture, to -capture a mad uni- / / '/ verse in each look. / f Moore does her m i / own share of work: Sf pale, confused, loving and hating, she gives life to a character that looks so dead while staying alive. And then Streep comes with a metallic hysteria, * with a depressing reality every time she defends the beauty of each wasted hour. Miranda Richardson, Toni Coiiette, Allison Janney, all leave joeroorable performances behind, The Hours has left very little ^ room for criticism. The one thing is that it may trigger a number of yawns in case one misjudges it / for an appetizer of a long night out. W £-£¦' CLASSIC FILM REVIEW The Usual Suspects (1995): SIMONCLIFF wouldn't fare well in a line-up © Cult status is not something a movie can successfully set out to achieve; it is a phenomenon born of the quality and talent on show within and surrounding the completed work. The financial bulldozer of modern Hollywood marketing, it would seem, can make a sensation out of any filmic garbage. But money, for all its uses, cannot buy the most effective and enduring form of promotion: word-of-mouth. When this is achieved, cult status is almost guaranteed; the film then takes its place amongst the true greats, of which The Usual Suspects is one of the greatest. Kevin Spacey richly deserved his Academy Award (Best Supporting Actor) for his portrayal of the disabled felon Verbal Kint, pressed by a formidable police detective (a suitably rigid Chazz Palminteri) for information surrounding a boat explosion in a San Pedro harbour. As the story unfolds within a series of flashbacks, Kint reveals how his four criminal partners were killed by the supposedly mythical crime lord Keyser Soze. This name effectively divides all film fans into two camps; those who've no idea what I'm on about, and those who have seen the film, but still aren't completely sure if he exists or who he is, such is the pure genius of this master-work. The cast, including a brilliant comic turn by Benicio Del Toro and a solid performance from Gabriel Byrne, work well together in bringing the challenging script to life; indeed, the mythology behind the film's creation is as legendary as the final work itself. The hilarious and now iconic lineup scene is all the more funny considering its improvised line delivery, the natural wit of the actors coming through in authentically fresh comedic delivery. Few other films with so memorable a climax are so watchable after repeated viewing; the key to this success is the way that the film often poses more questions than it answers, with the infamous ending throwing away the finale rulebook completely. And as incredible the conclusion is, The Usual Suspects does not rely once on the patience of its audience to carry them towards it. From start to finish, the narrative twists and intensity of the action keep us both thrilled and eager to work out the mystery, if always a little confused, but always more than entertained. '0 Undercover Brother BABAKBARKHORDAR: Denise, will you marry me? Director: Malcolm D Lee Starring: Eddie Griffin, Chris Kattan, Denise Richards Running Time: 85 mins Certificate: 12 Release Date: 14th February A few mildly funny 'Blacks vs. Whites' gags, a plot thin enough to spread on toast, and some severe over-acting from an Austin Powers-wannabe cast. Unfortunately, that's not all I'm allowed to say about this ridiculous Malcolm D. Lee film. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a shoddi-ly made, cheap-laughs comedy as much as the next man, but this stuff wasn't even original. The plot, if I must refer to it as that, follows the exploits of the super-smooth, '70s reject Undercover Brother (played to new levels of indifference by one Eddie Griffin [Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo]) as he attempts to stop the oppression of "black people of all races" by 'The Man' (yes, you've got the idea, he's white - basically something like Dr. Evil without Mini Me... or the humour). In this, Griffin has the help of the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., a secret organisation set up to combat 'The Man', including amongst it's members Conspiracy brother, played by the usually brilliant Dave Chapelle (well, I think he's funny; you'll know him off the Xtreme Sport deodorant ads). Yet even Chapelle fails to rid the film of the stench of mediocrity, with the actors all vying to make this their 'break-through performance'. Denise Richards (Mrs. Charlie Sheen to you and I) provides the now Hollywood-compulsory eye-candy, though I must admit, she was the only reason I agreed to watch this film. It would be wrong of me to attempt to comment on her acting ability, since that was not what I was judging her by. All I will say is that the shower scene made my day, nay week, and is worth the ticket price alone (well, maybe the student discount price). One gets the sense that the film is merely a vehicle for the writers to trot out the same worn-out racial jokes, assemble a team of some of the lesser known Afro-American comedy actors, and let loose. One would have expected a rather better offering from the cousin of Spike Lee, instead of just a few references to this more famous/talented relative. But, hey, this is a comedy, so where's the Love? As I'm sure one the actors said at one point. Well, the film did nip along at a good rate of knots, there's little chance of confusion in following the plot, and there are a couple of laugh-out-loud moments. Worth taking your girl to, just make sure you sit in the back row! ????? FILM NEWS Brought to you by DANIISMAIL I think I must have mentioned every other week when I write this bit of the paper that there is a new, absolutely fantabulous, kicking sequel to many a good movie. Well this week, I'll kick off with 2 Fast 2 Furious, the long awaited (I'm just trying to be objective) sequel!! Oh the overwhelming joy I am feeling right this minute. More Paul Watker getting all sweaty and driving very fast and whatnot... it's a good feeling. Another man getting sweaty, this time in the boxing ring, is the lovely Russell Crowe. The movie is called Cinderella Man. While this title doesn't exactly conjure up images of punches galore and blood a-flowing, maybe It's to show that underneath his violent, thuggish exterior, Crowe is actually just a sweet little pussy cat. Instead of wittily thinking of a pun to follow that up, I'll just go straight to the interesting news... following the Saturday incident of the Columbia space shuttle, Paramount has had to remove all its adverts from theatres and is currently deleting any such space-shuttle-crashing scenes which form the basis of the new sci-fi thriller, The Core. Next, this movie sounds interesting...a "rape and revenge" plot told backwards: Irreversible. Directed and written by Gaspar Noe, this film 2 Fast 2 Furious starts with the murder of the rapist, and then describes all the events leading up to the rape, ending with the soon to be tormented rape victim finding out that she is happily pregnant with her boyfriend's baby. More like a bittersweet story than a portrayal of mindless violence against women. Before I finish, here's another reason to be completely jealous of Nicole Kidman...she's going to play Catwoman, in the movie of the same name!! If that isn't every girl's dream then I don't know what is. To end off, here's something interesting I noticed... people with middle names seem to play sad, lovelorn characters so well. I only have 3 names to back that up, and all 3 have been in the movie that enveloped all sad, lovelorn characters, Magnolia. There's John C. Rellly, (also the invisible husband Amos in Chicago); Philip Seymour Hoffman (the embittered journalist Lester Bangs in Almost Famous, also in his new flick Love Liza); William H. Macy is also a good one, as the desperate car salesman in Fargo and many more. Probably a piece of information no one else will find interesting. Ah well. HOLLYWOOD. Competition Time! Want to win The Ring tickets and stuff? It sounded like just another urban legend; a videotape filled with nightmarish images, leading to a phone call foretelling the viewer's death in exactly seven days. As a newspaper reporter, Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) was naturally sceptical of the story, until four teenagers including ^0mm her niece all met with jr mysterious deaths Jf exactly one week M after watching just Ik such a tape. Allowing ^lian her curiosity to get the better of her, Rachel tracks down the video and watches it. Now, she must enlist the aid of her friend Noah (Martin Henderson) to save her life and the life of her son. Together, they have just seven days to unravel the mystery of The Ring (go www.moeskoisland.com for more details). To celebrate the release of The Ring in UK cinemas on February 21st, we here at Beaver Film are giving you the chance to win limited edition Ring merchandise and preview screening tickets. All you have to do is answer the following relatively simple question: The Ring is a remake of the 1998 Japanese film, but what was the original \ called? * a) Ringi m b) Ringu M c) Ringa Mpr Email your answers to beaverfilm@yahoo.com before 17th February. If you want to go and see The Ring (15) before it's released, special preview screenings will be taking place as part of the Daily Telegraph Movie Mania campaign on Wednesday 19th February. For more information check out www.juiced.co.uk/moviemania, look out for flyers or posters on campus. Also currently at the cinema: Mat?© (IB) - Ray LJotta and Jason Patric return to the silver screen (12A) - High flying, highly stylised - Spielberg directs DiCaprio and Hanks in a big cat and mouse game BXsJS©© (12A) - Sandra BuHftik and Hugh Grant; who would've guessed they'd do a rom-com together? ©(MJClfe (15) - PTA's most recent cinematic offering; Adam Sandler does good work mm Kevin Spacey (of American Beauty) will direct Shakespeare plays at the Old Vic soon, after his success at the Old Vic with The Ice ManCometh in 1998. The NT, just down the road from LSE on the South Bank, will soon start its offer of 3 Shakespeare plays in its spring season. The Globe season starting in May features a few of the bard's historical tradgedies. But walk 10 minutes over from LSE to Piccadilly Circus and see The Complete Works of Shakespeare (abridged) at the Criterion Theatre by a comic threesome from the RSC, The Reduced Shakespeare Company-not to confused with the venerated RSC of The Royal Shakespeare Company. One sees and hears a well-performed comic rendition of Willy's plays and poetry in a handfull of comic disguises. "Well-performed" in several senses. Yes, the actor-authors perform weli-they've perfected it for over 10 years in London alone. "Well-performed" then in the sense that they perhaps have performed it too long. The comedy verges on being a bit routine, tired and patterned, almost mechanical by now. However, spontene-ity is not lacking by any means; they create an active and enthusiastic audience who are as much as part of the show as the regular stage performers. If you want jto prevent the actors pulling you on stage, avoid the first two rows, where they perpetrate a good number of I antics. The audience was predominately young and |appreciated the eternal undergraduate humor. They filled the midweek theatre 3A full. The company compresses the canon by confla-tion-the historical plays as a ball game, the comedies mix into one play. Some single plays receive their own acting treatment, such as Titus Andronicus as a cookery show in the man-j ner of TV cookery programs and Othello as rap session. Other plays getj a corkscrew recitation of plot. A twisted biography of the bard and his sonnets and selected scenes from the tradgedies fill out the first half of the performance. The company ham up Ham-let from the interval onwards in an audience participation workshop on Ophelia's psyche. Here they perfom an abbreviated Hamlet in three versions-forwards, backwards, and sideways. The trio serves up screwball, slap-stick, irrever-ant and ridiculous comedy at breakneck pace. They are a laugh and create a lot of excitement by letting a full-length show of 1 V2 hours almost burst their inventiveness. Bard buffs and those without Shakespeare savvy will all have fun. So much so you may forget to check on which if any of the 37 works they omit. Keith Postler 0 Lions go wild on the Strand!!! We were transported from the Urban Jungle to the Wild Desert as the auditorium filled with elephants, birds and giraffe. The glowing sun rose behind the mass of beautiful animals and we began to forget the bitter cold of London. The Lion King is by far the most artistically impressive musical in London. The creative depiction of the animals is unmistakably influenced by Carnival and with rich gospel voices the overall vibe is totally uplifting. ' ¦ j Don't think that it's just a kid thing. Admittedly it is a production that those who may like to indulge their more youthful sides will enjoy, (Michael Jackson and friends welcome) but it has comedy and style that can only be appreciated by the more mature audience. The movie is no substitute for this spectacular performance. If you have seen the movie you will not be disappointed as there are still the familiar characters. The comedy of the hyenas and the playful rapport between Pumbaa and Timon is even more entertaining on the stage. If you are suffering a hang over or feeling under the weather this is the perfect escape and cure. If this is the case you may want to close your eyes when the trippy dot art scene takes place (you'll know what I mean when you see it). For £15 you can get even the best tickets in the house (normally £40). So take a stroll down the Aldwych to the Lyceum theatre with NUS card and mate in tow and get yourself some tickets. the [ion King TH£ AWAKO-WJNNIN*; BnOADWAY MU5KAL CD CD _Q The offer is on Tuesday or Thursday (for evening show), Wednesday (for evening or matinee show) and the Box office opens at 10am. Hint for the ladies: you can save spending the entire interval queuing for the toilet by going to the one on the right of the auditorium as you face the stage. Hint for the guys: with Valentine's Day looming this show is a great value date and will leave you both in touch with your wild sides.... BY AMY COOPER. ATTENTION ALL LION KING LOVERS" The London production of Disney's award-winning musical The Lion King celebrates the third anniversary of its opening at The Lyceum Theatre with the introduction of an Exclusive Student Stand-by Rate. Currently booking through to the end of June 2003, The Lion King is offer-ling students holding a valid NUS card the opportunity to see the West End's number one show on Wednesday matinee and evening performance for £15. The tickets are available from the Box Office from 10am on the day of the performance and are limited to one ticket per student and subject to availability. student stand-by best available grand circle seats for £15 Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7.30pm, Wednesdays at 2pm & 7.30pm Offer is available in term time only and is subject to availability Lyceum theatre, Wellington st, london WC2 Box office opens at 10am Closest tube: covent garden www.thelionking.co.uk illlll it ¦mm r ygg# KAMASUTRA VfcVftriv $fap?gfi &,iL* r mi h cpmm num mi ions Author: Jason Flores-Williams Publisher: Canongate Date: February 2003 Price: £9.99 Gates, who described Williams as an 'all-American outlaw' in the tradition of Jack Kerouac, Charles Bukowski and Biggie Smalls. The first two names flew straight over my head but I had to stop and stare at the last. The Notorious was an all-American outlaw? Jason Flores-Williams was like Mr B.I.G? It was enough to make me brave the unknown and read 'The Last Stand of Mr America'. And as I soon found out, this novel has nothing to do with urban cowboys and 'Say yippee for America!' slogans. It's a savage condemnation of US culture; more 'Say yippee for the meaningless void that is my life - and San Franciscan sex clubs!' than anything else. Flores-Williams drew me into the desperate mind of a man caught between the heavy currents of American corporate culture and the almost elusive scent of individuality and selfhood. If before I couldn't quite understand what was meant by a 'train wreck of genius', I do now. The author's writing style is unmatched by any other I have ever read. Sam speaks to the reader through a masterful combination of droll philosophy and biting wit while he takes you through some of the encounters experienced in the dual life he leads. On a larger scale, Flores-Williams places before you various questions on which to ponder long after the novel is finished - questions that have always been and probably will always be around; but just as is the case here, dressed up in a refreshingly different coloured cloak to make you see it all the better with. Societal norms, human sexuality, individual freedom -the fate of mankind in general - they're all dealt with here and compellingly so. Though this book is quite dark and at times, its subject matter is disturbing, the author's interesting use of language and his cutting sense of humour make it more than digestible for the average person. It's an enjoyable piece of artistic achievement that I'm glad I got the chance to read. Dalia King I wasn't sure what I was in for when I read the title and saw the patriotic cover to Jason Flores-Williams' latest novel. Was I going to have to read about the trials of some urban cowboy who believed that the U S of A was the centre of both man's and God's universe? When I opened to the first page, would the commercial hysteria of American pop culture flood me out before I had a chance to save myself by passing it on to another unsuspecting reviewer? The San Francisco Examiner called Flores-Williams a 'train wreck of genius'. It sounded good and was obviously flattering enough to make the back cover, but it had me intrigued...confused even. Then there was a fellow author, David You're reading this page, so you like your books. For some of us, compiling a list of your veriest favouritest 'desert island' lovelies, is almost impossible... but this anonymous LSE law student is giving it a try. Apparently if word got out that she read anything but her Contract Law text, her rep would be shattered... There's more to it than mind-blowing sex! AUTHOR TITLE Susan Elizabeth Phillips Lady Be Good Tennessee Williams Bernard Shaw Judith McNaught 13th century sex god A Streetcar Named Desire (a play, I know) Mrs Warren's Profession (I connect to it in a way I would never have expected. Another play - and what of it?) Perfect Kama Sutra (the complete and unabridged edition) Interested in writing for the Lit section of ther Beaver? Free books - what more could you possibly need - or want?! Email Dalia at beaverlit@yahoo.co.uk CD 03 "O _Q "D CD : . ¦ mmmmmm "O CD Tuesday 11th February The Beaver Spoit LSE In Hockey Free For All LSE Hockey 2nds RSM 0 2 So there we stood, outside the Tuns, Two Towers short of a full team. Sicknote, the captain was still out with his latest life-threatening disease picked up from another cheap ho (you get what you pay for says Nosh?!), leaving us with just nine players. Personally I just thought fuck it, but nonetheless we made our way to the Paris of North London (do the words 'poop-a-scoop' mean anything to Parisians?). The streets were just littered with shit. Literally. And that was before the opposition turned up. We arrived sufficiently early to join Matthew Kelly in watching scantily-clad pre-pubes-cent boys playing football. After admiring their skills for a good hour we managed to actually get on the pitch ourselves. We stood in our tactically flawed 3-3-2 formation at the behest of our stand-in skipper TinTin (you know who you are) awaiting a spanking that never really materialised. During long periods of domination (Nosh seems to have a fetish for S&M), the hardwork and outstanding skills of our makeshift front pair of Thompson & Thomson, linking well with TinTin, were unable to get the goal that we deserved. That's not to say that chances did not come our way. Tom Cruise managed to hit the goal line from the goal line while Thompson (whichever one that is) managed to score from an impossible angle, only for the cheating fucking bastard of a ref to disallow it (was it Jeff Winter in disguise?). At half time, after resolute defending from the back-line and the occasionally frequent world-class save from Masher, the score was a misleading 0-0. During the break we revised our 3-3-2 formation into a free-for-all / 8 men behind the ball. This rather astute tactical judgement just fucked everything up. Despite more early domination, the defence's 2 imaginary players just were not up to the task of marking 2 real players who happened to be standing in the middle of the D. They managed to take advantage of our under-age goalkeeper with moves that Gary Glitter would have been proud of resulting in a crucial first Trouble In the Sixth Team! . i • Sorry guys, I (Mark 6th team) may not be attending (the Tuns) 2nite as I may have to follow up my sexual exploits from last week at Ministry (if you've been you'll understand). I promise you guys can initiate me every week until Caella if need be - its not my fault though - Manni refuses to show myself and Michael to the rest of you guys, although I do have a number of Tuns and Limeabout appearances chalked up from last term. Manni has in fact ignored at least 3 of my e-mails suggesting a team appearance on Wednesdays so I have been left to clear up my own devices, so if you could, send him nasty e-mails about he's rather stay in and wank than get pissed and rip the fuckin piss out of rugby. Yours sincerely An lonely sixth team member Serious! Read Me! Lonely Editors Column 20, single white male, GSOH, seeks caring, sharing co-editor to spend ages in Beaver Office worrying over deadlines, frantically trying to find page-fillers, and getting wrecked at the Tuns Wednesday nights, in a vain search for new sports photos. In all seriousness, it looks great on your CV. It's all I've got on mine, and I've already been offered control of UNICEF, the stewardship of Railtrack and the lead role in the new controversial Cameron Diaz all-nude screenplay. True story. Yeah, send us your e-mail addresses -if there's more than one of you applying- and a photo (optional) and we'll get an 'interview' sorted or something. You don't have to be well fit -it'd help though- but you should be able to bring a varied sporting social aspect, oh, and be in the AU... duuuuuuuur. HHS goal. This could have opened the floodgates, but thanks to the hockey equivalent of Andy, sorry Andrew, Cole and fantastic goalkeeping from our confused defender (or am I am in goal now?) Nosh we managed to keep the score line respectable. The game draaaagged on, much as this report... ...Fuck it. The final score was RSM 2-0 LSE 2nd XI. She Came, She Saw, She Left. Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, today we mourn the passing of one Holly (insert middle name here) Featherstone. As we commit her memory to past issues, we look back, and we see that she was a good woman, a kind woman, and a role model to other aspiring Beaver-leavers. Her achievements as Beaver Sports co-edi tor were innumerable, incredible, and quite often, unnoticeable, but, lo, as we remember her, let us not think of her as she is now, but let us remember the good times, and there were a few, to be fair. Amongst those unnoticeable achievements we could list the dubious honour of having the largest alcohol-to-body weight ratio at this years barrel. Two pints saw off this pocket dynamo. I think many people's lives have been touched by Holly, fondled, if you will, and believe me... it was mildly enjoyable... Well, now it's a new era, and be Holly's successor a lithe and petite hockey player, or a butch rock-climber, we'll remember Hollyas the Duracell bunny that guided BeaverSports through the choppy waters of well-passed deadlines, and the ineptitude of Gareth's crap seamanship... Holly Featherstone: Salute You!!! We The Beaver Sport Championship Manager 2 The ULU Edition Tuesday 11th February Harry Stoakes LSE UCL This was a historic day for Berrylands Stadium. The turnstiles notched up a record attendance of 15 people (no to mention the 3 substitutes on each side). History was also made with Dave Bains getting his Twentieth goal of the season and Baresi (Gav Russell) making is final farewell to the thirds before embarking on a personal conquest to seize more STDs than caustic Steve of the sevenths team. All of us turned up to Waterloo half cut, we all had it previously at Crush. Healy was in a particularly bad state having been out for the first time this term; he had a hangover soo bad..... he could barely hold a pool cue, yet alone pot a ball. As any captain would, I had to bring Baresi aside and ask him if he was tiptop, I explained that this third team is not like the one from the 2001/2002 campaign and that he might have to venture beyond the pastures of the Bryan G.K Healv Stoakes Dudu Taylor 1 Rossi Leeam Gremlin Casper Bainz Eagle, i I centre circle. Baresi looked confused and questioned his raison d'etre as the freight train pulled away with a jolt and accelerated to a speed of 15mph where it would remain for the rest of the journey through southwest London. This fixture brings back fond memories of when a depleted third XI (with my mate from Cambridge 'Fat Russian' in goal) travelled up to Yorkshire and pulled back a half time deficit of 0-2, to win 5-2, the club shop will tell you it is currently the most popular video purchase amongst fans after James Healy's 'Footballs Hard Men' and Fabian Josephs '100 greatest misses' When the Third army managed to push its way through the crowds, sign autographs for the visiting faithful ( caz, emma walsh, anna, jess, margo, mrs gremlin, cheryl, sherly, charmaine, Chardonay, estelle etc.) and joke with the stewards and the ground staff, the tactics were unleashed in the chamber de change. We tend to employ a continental 3-5-2 fluid system with Healy as sweeper and Caper in 'the hole'. It confuses the hell out of oppositions and they are usually too dumb to push their full backs forward so we always have a 3 on 2 advantage in the midfield and defence. Ok, less of the maths qua numeraire. Out came the threads. Our kit this year is an LSE heirloom, going back to the days when George Best used to take the piss out of Rugby in the early sixties. It is Purple, Black and Gold stripes. We are currently sponsored by Greenpeace as there is such an abundance of species within the ecosystems of my no. 5 shirt. The lads were psyched up, we had the usual chorus of "WE'RE THE THIRD TEAM" before captain Laurent Blanc led the boys out onto our very own first pitch. When UCL ran out afterwards, they were big, but out of shape, a tingle inside said exhibition match, bonjour trieste. The first half performance was industrial from LSE and 16th century subsistence agriculture from UCL. We dominated in every blade of the park, triangles everywhere. W e couldn't convert our good work into results though, as too often this campaign, we simply didn't have enough shots. Two pikey goals from Leeeam, the first a Clive Alan (in his Spurs days) esque tap in from a Dave Bains shot rebounded off the keepers derriere. The second a corner that was an exact replica of the one where Macedonia scored that ridiculous goal against England last Year. Leeeam celebrated his 2nd goal with "get in" and a very feminine twirl on his tiptoes across the pitch. The third goal was perhaps the greatest Steve (the groundsman) has witnessed at Berrylands. The ball was suspended high in the clouds, what does Healy do? He knows Margo is watching and thinks of the hero sex. He acrobatically overhead kicks the Ball in a similar fashion to Pele's immaculate technique in Escape to Victory from the edge of the box into the top corner. Or that's how he described it to Margo who was too busy looking at Gremlins arse (often confused with his face). Healy Fell arse over tit in the six-yard box, the ball came of the back of his leg, sublime finish and 3-nil to the 3rds. Half time team talks are usually a waste of time for us as we are more often than not kicking arse by then. However, was a 3 nil lead enough to allow Baresi 'the passenger' onto the field? Captain Stoakes took a bold move and bought on Baresi for Rossi and Ricky for Eddie the Eagle who had a cracking game but needed resting. Within 10 minutes UCL had pulled one back, Dave Bains diplomatically shouts out "midfield, what has happened, you've gone to sleep" To be fair, Gav had the touch of John Leslie throughout the second half. (After the game Healy described him as an Elephant dying in a mud flat in Deepest Africa). We were clearly misisng Rossi's engine. Will Taylor was Colossus down the right, as was Gremlin down the left. However, a slight panic was starting to creep through the veins of the side as we feared defeat, it took a lot of verbal and a few deep breaths to get our momentum back. Gremlin dinked a superb ball from left to right, but instead of charging down the left channel, he took his usual cavalier approach and saluted the adoring fans. Casper was taking the piss all game, nailing people, twisting people up and Dave was his usual energetic -Pocket Rocket-self. Dudu was class as usual at the back, eating up anyone who came near him and Stoakes and Healy keep up their neat play at the back. The fourth goal came from a Stoakes Interception, which was played to Baresi, Baresi dinked a luscious ball over the top for Bains to pounce on and nestled the ball in the bottom corner. The fifth came from a surging Leeam run down the right flank, he took it round 2 players before playing a square ball across the six yard line for Bains to notch into the net. Five - One and the LSE boys were coasting. Fabian came on for Gremlin and skinned a few players and put in another good performance. We look good now to win the Division 1 Trophy, we are currently one point behind Holloway 2's (prison scum) whom we play on February 12th. Please come and support us, meet in the Tuns at 12 noon that day, and maybe you will be able to understand these articles. "We're the third team, we're the third team, we're the third team LSE!" Tuesday 11th February The BeaverSport QM Bitches Lose to LSE Hockey Heroines LSE QMW 0 Nicole Chaplin... we think.... After our first match of the new term last week which broke the team back in, we had a renewed sense of purpose as we strolled out against QM. We weren't even phased by the fact that when the astro turf is not being used for sporting purposes it turns into a drug takers haven which is more than evident by the used paraphernalia scattered around the side of the pitch. Upon stepping onto the pitch it soon became apparent that this was one of the worst pitches I had ever had the misfortune to play on, owing to the fact that it hadn't even been laid properly. (A bit like a certain first year hockey boy) which meant that there were large gaps in the surface. Having still not received any of our team kit, the resulting ensemble that we have had to wear is less than ideal although Nelly had managed to coordinate herself quite nicely in blue which leads us to believe that she thinks that she is still playing in her team in Ireland. Having tempted fate that the predicted rain had so far not materialised, it preceded to piss it down the moment we stepped onto the pitch. This seemed to inspire the elephant-esque players on the other side who seemed quite partial to getting soaked. However, the first 5 minutes aside, the rest of the match was completely dominated by LSE. Whenever QM did have the audacity to get the ball near our D it was dealt with assuredly by Duracell, Fiona and Nic. The QM forward line obviously need to learn the basic principle of how to ring the ball, as one after another of our free hits went blasting past them to either bonecrusher and Nelly on the right or Sarah and Nat on the left. A succession of crosses went whizzing past their goalmouth but unfortunately no one could get a touch on the ball. Finally just before halftime, following another smart move, Qm was unable to clear the ball and funky managed to put it away. After a few scares in the second half when our defence was nearly breached by the stampeding herd of elephants, thankfully Kristina was on hand to pull off another string of amazing saves. Realising that we needed another goal to make the game safe our hardworking forward line of gigolo tamer, Nat and Nelly continued to create numerous chances. At this point the fat heffer who was marking Nelly realised that's she couldn't keep up with her so decided to cripple her. First an elbow in the face and then a stick across her kneecap. I have one word for the opposition- BITCHES! Finally after enormous pressure from LSE a flick was awarded which could of put the game beyond Qm's reach. Yours truly stepped up to take it, but we won't dwell on this too long. Suffice to say it was saved. With 10 minutes remaining and the score still at 1-0, Qm won a series of short corners which we seemed unable to clear. Not content with already maiming one of our players, the man who was masquerading as their centre forward swiped at the ball (not enough skill to actually hit it) and instead hit funkys finger. Full credit to funky who soldiered on and it was only afterwards that we discovered she had actually fractured it! I say it again-BITCHES. A second goal by funky in the dying moments sealed the win, so with our first win of the new year we headed back to the hallowed ground of the tuns in high spirits ready for an evening of drunkenness and debauchery which was duly extended to slimelight. I don't particularly remember much of what followed which is probably a good thing! Expect that a good time was had by all those in attendance. LSE Squash Play Lost and Found Lost. Pride of LSE Division 2 Squash supremacy, and Beaver bragging rights after 3rds whitewash. Found. New found confidence in Tim the squash Czar after fantastic but ultimately heartbreaking performance losing 10-9 in fifth set to the feared might of Eduardo Marques. Lost. Trig the technical wizard of our team last term, justifiably though sadly promoted to the SCUMMY thirds. Found. Giles Henley-only a name on our e-mail list until tonight, but he can also play squash and will play for us more this term. This means I actually have a squad to choose from WOOOOOO. Lost. Battle of friends and former team mates with Tryg outclassing me 3-0. Found. Dudu (Duncan Napier) my former central defensive partner in the all-conquering legendary LSE 4ths football team of last season (Kudos though to Victor Fleurot though who's doing a great job leading them this season), turning out for us and giving Stirling something to think about. Great effort! Cheers bud! Lost. The ever-present Indian Master Karun's magical powers. Without his best Antony Anastasiou writes about the pro's and cons in the world of squash mate J.Daniels by his side he has no courage to take, on snow in the ultimate battle of walking to Uni through it, and is instead confined to his room to work on his Masters. We all hope his powers swiftly return. Found. Tim's shorts after a distressing length of time away from him. Tim wears short shorts haha- haha......TAXI. Lost. 1 carton of % empty shower gel. Has distinguished camp cream packaging, and moisturises the skin. If this is found I would appreciate it if it was taken in person to lost property at Norwich Railway Station so I can pick it up on my commute. Reward-eternal life. Found. A way out from the squash courts after attempts to lock me in the Quad by security were floored by not locking the Tuns' doors ahaha. Lost. Chance to spend Uni money down the Tuns after not finding Asylum seeking shower gel trying to escape the oppressive regime of my toiletries bag. Six more happy customers leave Madame Jojo's The Beaver Spent Tuesday 11th February Netball Girls Kick Ass After Four Part Story First Team Captain Nerys Hughes reports LSE 1sts netball played against Imperial 1sts last Wednesday. Score 27-15 to LSE. It was a double whammy counting for BUSA and the Cup. Making it 4 times we've beaten them now - do they not the message that they're crap yet? After the match against them last week ended in draw we were all really psyched up and ready to kick some ass. After the last match finished with us all LSE Imperial 27 15 shouting we wanted, needed to win! The start of the match was delayed by fifteen minutes whilst Barbie argued with the umpire about each millimetre of her nails. He (yes a male umpire- makes you wonder about his motives) made her cut on each nail, i guess the old trick of wearing gloves due to a circulation problem didn't work this time. I guess someone had to see through it eventually. So under much distress Barbie cut her nails as she couln't pursuade the unpire that she wouldn't try to scartch anyones eyes out. How could a man ever understand the pain that she went through! The LSE girls all played fantastically, Lay Keng and Barbie constantly feeding well into the shooters and Olivia scoring left, right and centre (on and off the netball court). This was despite Barbie being physically manhandled and touched up - she probably fancied her. It was like a blokes dream netball match the amount of jostling, pushing abd shvin that was going on. But Barbie held her own and managed to contro, nay dominate the cebtral third. The defence was on top form, nothing would get past them. Jade was making that extra effort by pushing her bum out a little bit further. She claims it helps but maybe it was all for the male umpire, we would try anything to win! It worked and that is all that matters. Phoebe, in a skirt for the first match of the season (and I'm sure it was a coinsidence that Lammy was on the sidelines) was her usual calm and controlled self and had no issues with the umpires decisions whatsoever. This was the kind of person we needed in the tense situation as both teams wanted revenge badly. Rachel and Siobhan took it in turns to ace at wing defence and shout abuse from the sidelines. Both roles were equally as important. Having fresh legs reguarly made all the difference supporting Jade and Pheobe in defence and feeding Olivia and myself to mean that we scored goals and kept the opposition out. the perfect recipe for a victory! So there we have it, LSE 1st netball actually came out on top, and face Queen Mary's in the quater finals. Watch this space. 10 Things to Hate About Football! Well-informed, even-handed, 'Not-DriveP From Hester. Or, Some Might Say It's Just Utter Shite.. o k last week's Beaver saw an article (in fact the entire back page) telling you all why exactly you worship the LSE football team. This one is to tell you why, although the hundreds of footballers at the LSE are harmless, your love and devotion would be misdirected. 1 - It's a pansy game. 22 players mince round the pitch inviting each other to be the one to put a shot on goal, slide in for the tackle, until one brave soul develops the courage to take that decisive shot and slot the ball in the back of the net. 11 of the said 22 players then proceed to have multiple orgasms on the pitch. 2- The team will then go forth to the pub/club bar (depending on the level) and discuss how challenging the game was, how the crap the opposition was (regardless of the score), etc. There is no such thing as a hard game of football. 3- A footballer will be subbed off the pitch if a member of the opposition so much as touches them- that broken nail, the messed up hair style can all lead to a lot of rolling round on the floor and the need to leave the pitch. 4- The fore mentioned 'injury' could result in weeks of watching from the sidelines. David Beckham cracks his rib and his whole season looks doubtful. I crack my rib, I'm out on the rugby pitch putting in all the usual tackles. 5- While the mincing is taking place, each and every footballer is hoping to be spotted to appear in the latest shampoo advert, and utter those words, David Ginola style "I use Pantene Pro V for 'ealthy, shiny 'air..". So onto the LSE... 6- They think they rule the Tuns. They are wrong. 7- They sing the same songs and chants (none of them very original) repeatedly. All night. Every week. 8- Even worse, on a Thursday morning, through my vodka induced blackness, I can hear it, myself humming "We're the 99th team, we're 99th team, we're the 99th team LSE..." Feel free to join in anytime you like. 9- A rumour has it, and it is only that, that the LSE actually has a women's football team. If this true, show yourselves girls- even the netballers make an appearance on a Wednesday night. 10- Netball, hockey and rugby are repeatedly relegated to the lesser pages of Beaver sport, so that the 7th footballers can, once again, claim the whole back page to report that they went out and got wasted. Just for a change mind you. So there we have it, 10 reasons why loving netbaff, hockey or, preferably rugby, is mom admirable than admiring the football. Beaver Sports Tuesday 1 Ith February » Issue 574 From now on, Gareth will have to pay for girls like 'Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder' The Book Of Tuns, King James Edition. LSE Rugby Beat The Poly! ( Of Course it was the Girls!) Hester Barsham on why Rugby is better than Football and LSE are better than kings andf the girls are much better than the boys! It was a miracle. God, and the sun, were smiling down on the Lovelies as we travelled to Berrylands. We had just found out that Strand Poly's England player had jumped ship and left them. It was a miracle. She had been the only player to cause us problems last time. We felt better. Not only that but Kristie's dad was coming to watch. It's probably an ego thing, but we always perform better when on display. Berrylands was looking beautiful, (well anything would after the ploughed field we played on last week), and it was nice, yes I said nice, to see the Strand Poly girls. All but one of them is approximately normal size, and they only have one bitchy player. Thus meaning you could recognise them as female, with most of the teams we play some clarification of their gender is necessary. Of course, there is the downfall that they're from the Strand but they can't help being intellectually inferior to us. More importantly both sides played good rugby. We had a new scrum formation, front row as before with Helena and Hannah propping, myself as hooker, but an entirely untried second row of Sexy Kate and Vanessa (no need to laugh, it worked really well, the whole business of needing to be tall to be second row is just sizestl), Meghan as our number 8, guiding the scrum and ensuring we didn't succumb to their pressure to turn and Louise and Kate as flankers. The whole thing was really strong, we won all our scrums, as ellie placed the ball well and it was guided After the match Strand Poly confessed that they "had been rather scared at the thought of playing us" through the scrum by our fab second row straight back to Ellie's hands. Helena and I are suffering, we had the elephant sized players head between our arms, and both have really sore shoulders. Sexy Kate and Vanessa were right in there with the rucks, but guys your shoulders were so comfort- There were doubts Louise would make it through whole match due to ankle, Helena's magic bag held the secret treatment, and later on that night she was able to wear heels for the first time in two weeks. It was good to have Ellie back, and she made some determined ground while beinh hounded by half the Strand Poly team. The Backs were also right on form, the return of 'Lightening' Lizzie meant that she and Sarah dominated the right wing, as not one of King's players were able to keep up with them. The successfully combination meant that when we wre on the break the runner always had support, and mm this successful combination put the LSE's sexiest team in front just after half time. On the other side of the pitch, Lauren had a tougher time as she was pitched against one of their strongest and definitely their fastest player, but she stood up to the challege well putting in some good tackles and forcing the girl out. Emma played a cracking game, her ability to read play is amazing and the team looks like a stronger unit because of her pressence. Captain Helena made us some good ground with her quick penalties, and Kate returning to the team putting in her best performance to date, making strong runs and hard tackles. We unfortunately let our lead slip, and with 12 Minutes to go were actually trailing. Kristie coming up from fullback almost forced us another try, with her superb run and her refusal to let the opposition floor her. The tackles from Hannah were, as always, excellent, but even she struggled to bring their huge player down, (in fact I think our whole scrum were trying to bring her down at one point and she just continued to plod up the pitch!). Super Kay saved the day, however, with a run that saw her cover half the pitch leaving both her own team mates, but more importantly King's watching in wonder, with 30 seconds to go. After the match Strand Poly confessed that they "had been rather scared at the thought of playing us". Apparently we have aquired the reputation of the bitchiest team in the league. Theye all just jealous of our intelligence and goodlooks. The icing on the cake was returning to the Tuns, the most successful LSE rugby team of the day, let's not mention score hey boys? There are a couple of things left over from last week's match. A special mention should go to Maghan, who upon hearing some nasty UKC players bitchin about our lovely, sweet Hannah, proceeded to boot one of the offenders exceedingly hard. Another should go to Annie and Lizzie, who despite being injured and unable to play stood in the freezing cold the entire match to cheer us on. Team Loyality for you. ? E-mail inquiries, reports, letter bombs etc to g.h.carter@lse.ac.uk... that';s right, just me this week its okay. I'ii get over it. it just neeos a little time to heal.